


Johns Are Friends, Not Food (re-write and continuation)

by Slippery Tummy (darleen8)



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Almost Kissing, Alternate Universe - High School, Bad Puns, Bad parent/child relationships, Best Friends, Black Romance, Cherubs - Freeform, Depression, F/F, F/M, Faries, Guys in case you couldn't tell this is a vampirey au, Hunters, JAFNF, Kidnapping, M/M, MLPFIM, Nepeta Shipping, Other, Pale Romance | Moirallegiance, Paranormal, Past Relationship(s), Red Romance, Road Trip, Roleplay, Shipping, Sprite, Story reboot, THE MAIN PAIRING IS JOHNDAVE, Teenagers, Trolls, Upgrades, Vampires, Weapons, Werewolves, Yikes, a singular poorly written cutting scene done by someone who's never cut im so sorry, all the beta characters, all the cliches, almost, also on FFN, alt Dave is a thing, betty crocker cakes, but way later, cakes, certain scenes inspired by tumblr posts or steven universe or 80s music, currently dead Jane Crocker ;), johndave - Freeform, just read it, legit caring relationship, long story, more minor pairings added as they appear, multiple parts, my little pony - Freeform, no pesterchum skin thing, terrible cliches, the thing where dirk builds robots, tons of minor pairings, varied chapter length, why did I write this
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-10
Updated: 2018-08-22
Packaged: 2018-09-07 16:02:29
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 28
Words: 516,375
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8807251
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/darleen8/pseuds/Slippery%20Tummy
Summary: Since his mother died, John has been bullied at school, neglected at home, and hates life. However, life start to take a positive turn when he finds his online best friend from Texas in his 7th period class. All Dave wanted was to be normal for a while, and not have to worry about the troubles, and hunters, that his "pureblood" brings him. This is a supernatural-y humanstuck (monsterstuck?) AU, featuring human John and Vampire Dave.  The story updates often, and takes place over the course of a year, with some minor timeskips. Thanks to Saltymastermemester on FFN for letting me re-write and finish this awesome story.





	1. Welcome to high school

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prologue and Chapter 1: The beginning.

JAFNF

Prologue

Short, businesslike high heels clicked on a tiled floor. A woman stopped at a doorway, and took a breath. Suddenly, her caucasian skin tone and short blonde hair changed. The woman's legs extended, and her dress seemed to become a skintight, black and pink bodysuit, while her hair turned black and long. Her suddenly grey-skinned hands hit a panel on the wall, and a mechanical hum sounded as the door slid open. The now monstrous figure power walked down the hallway, her steps growing harder in her anger. The siren took a breath as she passed by one door, then another. Upon reaching her destination, the half-fish woman's eyes narrowed, then promptly began to glow. Suddenly, the too short door in front of her blew apart, and she walked in. Significantly shorter people in labcoats all jumped at once, and shook in fear, especially when her pink lips curled into a frown. Betty Crocker felt her neatly manicured hands close around a trident that appeared in midair, and she barely had to see the daemons under her to feel their fear. They'd been at this for years, and despite the tests and thousands of dollars spent working towards their cause, their guess was wrong again, and now another useless half- monster existed in their world. At this point, she didn't care who was responsible for the mistake- she glared at the trembling workers below her, and it was clear that before the day was over, at least one of them would die.

JAFNF Chapter 1

(Wednesday, August 4th)

==== Be the nerdy shy kid.

The raven-haired boy sighed, slumping down in his seat a little more. He scanned the room with his eyes, groaning when he found that his teacher was still not present. The guy was almost ten minutes late. And biology was this young man's favorite subject! The kid sighed and rested his head on his arms. Everyone was talking- no, screaming, and their constant chatter drove him insane. The boy closed his eyes, only comforted by the pitch-black solitude that surrounded him. Unfortunately, it didn't last long, and he sat up at the sound of the door opening.

The ink haired kid squinted as a boy, a few inches taller than him, came striding in. The boy's hair was an extremely light shade of blonde that usually disappeared once children grew older than the age of four. He was golden tan, the male version of a stereotypical California girl, which felt ridiculous to the native Washingtonian. He had the oddest cluster of freckles adorning the center of his poker face, and a strange pair of sunglasses covering his eyes and eyebrows. The sunglasses he wore looked familiar, but John didn't remember why. The boy had probably seen a similar brand somewhere, at one point. They didn't really matter though. His skinny jeans looked excessively tight, and his shirt was bland- a long sleeve shirt with red sleeves, a white torso, and a strange broken record symbol in the center. He became "Tool number 3" and John ignored him in favor of listening to the instructor. "Sorry for being late, class! I had a run in with our new student, but he's too stubborn to remove his glasses. We're going to be playing the greeting game!" He stated, earning a groan from everyone, even the raven-haired boy. Clearly, the teacher didn't care, or was oblivious to the student's dislike of his ice breaker. "Since you're new to our class, I'll explain. The greeting game is when we go around and introduce ourselves, along with one of our hobbies or interests." The teacher explained, but the albino kid just stared at him, making no sign of emotion through his poker face. The teacher, undeterred, smiled again. "I'll go first. My name is Jake English, and I love biology! Your turn!" The kid shuffled before turning his face in the direction of the class. "Uh, okay? My name's Dave-" girls whispering to each other and swooning cut him off. "Strider?" Came his last name, and he sounded confused at their reaction to his voice. "And I like to rap." He muttered, then returned his hands to his pockets. Mr. English beamed. "Fantastic! Okay Mr. Egbert, it's your turn." The raven-haired kid sighed and rearranged his glasses.

"I'm John Egbert-" "Egderp!" Someone shouted, and John glared in the general direction of the interruption. All of the kids here were terrible, and John suddenly wasn't in the mood to tolerate the new kid, who'd likely be shouting similar comments soon enough. "And that's all you need to know about me." He said, emphasizing the "you" in his words. The blonde kid's- Dave's- poker face partially broke and he lifted his eyebrows. John could just barely see them over his large sunglasses. Mr. English sighed, but moved on to the next person. John took one last fleeting glance at the tool across from him. It was quite the coincidence that his name was Dave, much like his friend on pester chum. Then again, not really. David was a common name. He sighed and laid his forehead farther down on his desk, so that he could pull his phone out without getting in trouble. He quickly opened his pester chum app and checked for TurntechGodhead. He wasn't on, so John just left him a message for later.

-ectoBiologist (EB) began pestering turntechGodhead (TG)-

EB: dave! :B

EB: theres a new dave in my class!

EB: so I can see a dave but talk to another dave.

EB: wow too many daves

EB: but I doubt we'll be friends like me and you…

EB: he looks like a douche

EB: anyhow I'm sure you're super busy with your bro and stuff

EB: do you even go to school?

EB: I doubt you do

EB: too busy with puppets or something

EB: …

EB: bye!

-ectoBiologist (EB) ceased pestering turntechGodhead (TG).-

After a few minutes without a response, John locked his phone and looked up at the teacher again. "Okay Dave, since everyone has introduced themselves, you can take the empty seat next to Karkat." Mr. English motioned to the brunette, who looked up, gave the teacher his middle finger, then went back to drawing (badly) on the desk. Dave- who John noted was still staring at him, shrugged and moved into the seat. John had to suppress a groan when he realized the seat was directly in front of his. John already predicted what would happen. He'd become friends with Karkat, and by extension Caliborn, the two banes of his existence. They would proceed to mess with him constantly, and make the remainder of the year more of a nightmare than it already was. He was less than a week into the school year, and once again, it seemed like the world still had it out for John Egbert. The blonde kid was partially blocking his view of the door, and John had to twist in his seat to see the board. Dave instantly slumped down in the chair, checking his texts on the phone and adjusting his sunglasses, from what John could tell. The raven-haired boy honestly didn't care, and sighed in relief when he was able to see the board again. After a minute, Dave straightened and turned in his seat to look at John through his glasses. He seemed to be staring into his soul, and John cringed and tried to avoid looking at his face when his mouth curved into a frown.

"Aw man. Do I really look like that much of a douche?" He questioned. John looked at him, confusion clear in his face.

"What?" Dave sighed and looked down at his phone. Apparently, he didn't care that he risked drawing the class's attention. After verifying that the words were indeed there, he pushed his phone near John's face.

"EB said I look like a douche." John blinked uncomprehendingly. There were his words, written in blue. Realization and horror controlled his features as he stuttered.

"T-Turntech Godhead?" The albino smirked.

"That's me, Dave Strider in the flesh. No doubt I'm as cool as you expected." He spoke, his added wink invisible due to his shades.

"What are you doing here?" John asked, bewilderingly looking from the phone to the taller male in front of him. Dave shrugged nonchalantly.

"My bro got some new DJ job in this town. He seemed like he was kind of in a hurry to get here, so we packed up our shit over night and moved, which lead me to your school, looking like a douche." He stated, raising an eyebrow in concern at his friend's face. "You okay there, John?"

"Oh." John breathed out. "I'm okay, I guess I'm just kind of- in shock?" He blabbered, feeling awful. His words were inaudible, but he didn't notice or care. Here Dave was, his best friend, and he judged him on looks alone. He had always wanted to meet his friends in real life, yet now he didn't. Or he did, but not as a surprise? That was probably it. John decided. Dave's smirk returned to his face. He apparently didn't notice John's internal crisis.

"In shock huh? The Strider family tends to have that affect on everyone. The ladies usually have their breaths taken away by me- It's a shame that I don't have time for them." Dave stated dramatically, propping his head on John's desk. His words hardly permeated John's brain, and he felt awful for judging his best friend. He had to apologize, and make it right.

"You-You don't look like a douche." John said quietly, avoiding Dave's face again, this time in favor of looking at the ground. In response, Dave just grinned.

"Fuck if I care, as long as I'm the coolest douche." Dave laughed, drawing John's attention- not that he didn't have it already. "We both already know I am, John." He said, instantly shrugging it off. John smiled, feeling relieved as he looked up at him again, and pulled his sleeves up a little.

"Thanks Dave, and yeah, maybe sometimes." John fell quiet for a minute, and he looked at the boy in front of him. He wanted to marvel at his best friend's presence, but he noticed the boy's face, and looked up suddenly. "Can I ask you a question?" Dave looked back at him coolly, and replied.

"Sup Egbert?" John played with his jacket strings, but looked at him directly in the face as he asked.

"Why don't you want to take you sunglasses off?" He asked, and John saw panic flash across his features for a split second. Immediately after that, Dave's poker face returned to its original stoic state.

"Because I'm clearly a very hot guy, and my eyes are so hot that they'd burn you, laser vision style." He said, smirking to make it seem like a joke. John laughed at the obvious lie, and he wanted a real answer, but Dave's words distracted him before he could request one. "So, since you, aka my best bro is here, we're obviously going to hang out at my place after school, right?" He said, smirking and staring at John through his sunglasses. John had to hide a cringe. He was going to go hang out, with Dave. Although he was super excited, he hadn't been to anyone's house since preschool, and that was on a forced play date with his father's coworker. Still though, he had been waiting for an opportunity to hang out with Dave, Rose, and/or Jade for a couple of years now and there was no way he could say no. John felt himself warm to the idea almost instantly, and his response showed it.

"Sure!" He said excitedly. Dave laughed. "Slow down boy, don't you need to ask your dad first?" John's excitement disappeared, and Dave immediately regretted his words.

"Not really, he's never really home." John looked down, a little anger in his tone. "And when he is home, he never talks to me anyway. You know that Dave." John's voice seemed genuinely upset, and the boy habitually pulled his sleeves down. Dave regretted mentioning the sensitive topic- usually, he would have filtered himself a little more on pester chum. An apology was in order, and Dave felt no qualms about offering one.

"Oh man, I'm sorry, I forgot. It's just weird seeing you here, or in real life I guess." He explained his mistake, and John clearly understood. Before they could pause in conversation for too long though, Dave spoke up in excitement. "But I guess that means you're going to the Strider home tonight! I mean, we're not completely unpacked and shit, but it's still cool." John opened his mouth to respond when a throat clearing sound came from the front of the room.

"Mr. Strider. I don't mean to interrupt you, but we're well into the start of class." Mr. English said, a stern, if slightly effeminate hand placed on his hip. The class giggled, for no other reason than the fact that they were all stupid high school kids, but for once, the sound didn't bother John. He finally had an actual, real life friend.

____-------____

 

ST OUT!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AN: Hello everyone! I hope you enjoyed (or at least didn't completely hate) this first chapter and prologue! Thank you so much Saltymastermemester for letting me continue the story, you're the best! Expect a variety of updates, and OFTEN ones, at that. I'm always looking for ways to improve my writing, (constructive criticism is totally fantastic!) so leave a review! I mean, if you want. You don't have to. I mean, I can't force you to do that, nor would I if I had that ability, but it would help a lot. Oh, and expect like 2 chapters a week, or like 4 if the chapters are 4 pages long. But, they get longer as the story goes on. Yeah. It's just formatting it on AO3 and FFN that's gross, but whatever. Also, I ask questions sometimes at the end of chapters, because I love getting to know who's reading, and other members of the fandom. So, I'll start easy. What's your sign, and are you like the ((beta)) troll it represents? If so, what attributes do you share? Okay, I'm done for now. Have a nice day!


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dave talks to Karkat.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, I'm here with chapter 2!  
> Thanks to gsunny6, Pixelated_Keyboard, Alliesunluckycat, and Dirkapitation for commenting! Enjoy the chapter!

JAFNF Chapter 2

(Wednesday, January 4th)

Dave sat in his desk, and faced the front of the room. It took every second of work he put into maintaining his poker face over the years to keep him from breaking out into a dopey grin. He had to stop himself from twisting in his seat just to confirm again that yes, John Egbert was right here, right now. He was excited as humanly, or vampire-ly possible. After wading through class after class all day, he finally reached the end of the metaphorical rainbow, and grabbed the pot of gold. The pot of gold was, of course, John Egbert, and though he had no intention to grab him, Dave was all levels of hellaciously excited to hang out with his best friend.

Turntech Godhead (TG) began pestering Ecto Biologist

TG: Hey John

TG: Pst

TG: Guess what?

TG: Come on, I know you can see me texting you.

EB: Geez Dave, I’m trying to listen

EB: But what?

TG: Hi.

EB: Dave I’m listening to Mr. English again.

Ecto Biologist (EB) ceased pestering Turntech Godhead (TG).

He couldn’t wait to give Rose the good news, or Jade. In fact, as John took actual notes, a practice he’d seen kids doing all day and found boring, he decided he would do something more interesting with his time. While he did want to talk to John, and didn’t care what most of these blood filled hormone sacs, otherwise known as high schoolers thought, he did care about what his friend wanted. Dave always pictured him as the type of kid that cared about school, and even with his best friend in front of him, he apparently still cared about it. So, the blonde respected his wishes.

However, he did not attempt to insinuate that he cared about whatever the teacher had to say. He didn’t come to school to learn, he came to talk and hang out, and that’s what Dave would do. So far, he’d only met one person that looked the slightest bit interesting, besides John. He heard people whisper when he came near, and frankly, he didn’t care what they had to say. So, while the teacher rambled about ‘Adams’, or something, Dave pulled out his cell phone. He didn’t hide it under his desk, or take out notebook paper, or anything else most of the kids in the room did.

Instead, he sent a quick text to Rose. Dave knew Jade would be asleep right now, but it probably wasn’t that late in New York.

TurntechGodhead (TG) began pestering Tentacle Therapist (TT).

TG: Hey, Rose.

TG: You’ll never guess what kind of crazy shenanigans I’ve gotten myself into.

TG: Shit’s like a kid’s cartoon in here, because I’m meeting all my main characters in the first episode of Dave’s high school adventure.

The response came immediately, and he could practically see the half amused, partially curious, and slightly condescending not-quite-a-smile on Rose’s face.

TT: Considering you’ve started school recently, it’s only befitting to assume that it involves yourself, and perhaps another student.

TT: David, have you managed to make a friend through that cool guy inferiority complex of yours?

Dave suppressed a snort. Of course Rose guessed it, she always did.

TG: Nah, I made the friend nine years ago.

TG: I just managed to find him today.

TT: Well, color me impressed. That’s quite the daring move, Dave, to travel all the way to Washington State just to meet John at his high school.

TG: See, here’s the thing, it just happened on accident.

TG: Out of all the states Bro could have chosen, he chose this one, and out of all the houses zoned into all the public high schools, he chose the one in maple valley.

TG: Plus, I just happen to share a class with him. Crazy luck, huh?

TT: Dave, even on an ironic level, we both know everything happens for a reason. Don’t attribute this magnificent twist in fate towards the idea of a mere coincidence.

TG: Yeah, whatever you and your dark magic tentacle gods say, Rose.

TG: Anyway, we’re going to be throwing down sick beats today, because I invited John to the new-and-improved Strider residence.

TG: Or, just new and not an apartment, with zero shit unpacked. Whatever, hopefully it means fewer strifes.

TT: Did you not tell me that your home had a wide, flat roof?

TG: Hey, let a guy sit in a few nice minutes of denial. At least it’s not as high up as the Huston apartment, that shit was anime level death defying.

TT: Yes, your brother does seem to have an affinity for Japan.

TG: It’s ironic.

TT: Denial is the first stage, brother dearest.

Dave actually did snort at the words ‘brother dearest’. Her words were a reference to an inside joke from when they were thirteen. Since then, Dave referred to her often, using varying terms of sisterly endearments, but they were entirely a joke. That said, he still did care for Rose a lot, even if their atypical banter didn’t show it. He’d known her as long as he’d known Jade, and almost as long as he knew John. They had been close friends for years, and despite living in different states, the four of them kept in touch constantly.

TG: Sure, turn the coolest day ever into a chance to analyze me, real smooth.

TG: Anyway, the teacher keeps glaring at me, and I’m pretty sure I’m supposed to be paying attention to whatever the hell he’s saying.

TT: That’s usually the primary objective of school, yes.

TT: And usually, when people blatantly ignore a person that’s talking, they have an odd habit of getting upset.

TT: I would give you the benefit of the doubt, considering that you lack a lot of experience dealing with people, but let’s be honest.

TT: You would ignore him either way.

TG: Right again, Rosie. Can any of my mannerisms escape your all seeing, sixteen year old eye?

TT: While the flattery is appreciated, I’m positive you have better things to look forward to. Really though, you should attempt to pay attention to your teacher, Dave.

TG: How can I? You’re so distracting.

TG: Makes it hard for a guy to focus, when you’re so busy picking apart my brain.

TT: Need I remind you who initiated the conversation? But let’s not be childish. At least look like you’re paying attention, David.

TG: Why? This guy over sitting next to me doesn’t seem to give a shit. He’s not even taking notes, he’s just doodling on his notebook paper.

It was true, he was. The short kid that sat next to him had his brow furrowed, like he was eternally angry. Despite Dave’s sunglasses, he apparently noticed Dave’s glance on him. The guy didn’t even turn around. Instead, he looked at him out of the corner of his eye, and mouthed the words ‘fuck off’, then continued drawing badly. Well, this guy’s drawings definitely weren’t as good as the girl’s he saw in the previous period, but he definitely got Dave’s attention. The almost albino smirked, and looked in his bag. Maybe he had a use for that notebook paper after all. First though, he wrapped up his conversation with Rose.

TT: Yes, and saying ‘he did it too’ is definitely the most mature way to handle a situation, David.

TG: Hold on Rose, I gotta take a break from your casual insults/ advice.

TT: Don’t tell me, you’re actually going to start paying attention?

TG: Nope, the kid just told me to fuck off.

TT: That poor soul. Well, be sure to inform me how thoroughly you’ve obliterated this boy tomorrow, Dave. I actually have some school work to finish, and I would prefer to uphold my title as ‘the smart one’. Good luck.

TG: See you, sis.

TurntechGodhead (TG) ceased pestering Tentacle Therapist (TT).

After laying his phone on his desk, he searched for a sheet of notebook paper, and did the most ironic thing he could in the situation. Dave Strider wrote and passed a note to the boy, who raised an eyebrow after receiving it. He saw the corner of the boy’s lips turn up as he read over its contents, and he held his pencil once again. The vampire smirked when he saw him write words, and his face wanted to turn up into a shit eating grin when he saw the page returned to him. He read over his note again, and looked down to the other guy’s.

_Hello there, other person who clearly doesn’t give a shit what the guy up front has to say. I noticed you mouthed a phrase at me, but my poor light obscured, sunglasses covered eyes missed it. Could you do me the honor of transcribing your words onto this sheet of paper, so I can understand the great wisdom you’ve imparted upon me?_

-Nintendo DS.

The boy next to him read it, a little surprise and annoyance clear on his features. Dave never knew that people could write things on paper angrily, but as he watched the boy next to him, that certainly seemed like what he did.

I said fuck off, Strider. If you want to stare at something, you can burn your ‘poor, light obscured, sunglasses covered shit stain eyes’ out by staring right back at your phone, or looking up at the teacher, who’s been burning holes in your head since the start of the fucking class period.  Unless you’re pathetic enough to find the bored doodles of a high schooler that’s counting down the minutes until he can leave this human cesspool of teenage angst and hormones behind that fucking interesting, I suggest you stop watching me, you walking, talking, slack jawed, male California girl stereotype. Seriously, keep the eyes up front, or at least off me, you creepy bastard.

\- Karkat Vantas.

Dave read the note and smirked. So his name was Karkat, apparently. This guy seemed like he was okay, if not extremely easily angered. At the very least, he’d be fun to piss off- and Dave definitely appreciated anyone that could find a way to curse this creatively after just catching a glance.

_Sorry, shorty. I was just so completely encapsulated in your giant eyebrow beauty that I couldn’t help but let my gaze linger on you. On a serious note though, anyone who can insult someone that many times in note form has to be the slightest bit interesting. I’ll be sure to let my eyes avoid you like the plague, for all your seating comforts. Also, I’m not from California, I’m from Texas. They’re pretty much the same, but one has Hollywood, and the other has middle aged- beer drinking men that ear family sized bags of Doritos alone while watching TV and deciding against moving all day._

Dave sent the note back to Karkat, and didn’t watch his reaction. However, a few minutes later, he got his response.

Please, I didn’t ask about your fucking sad backstory, Dr. Doof. But I will say I’m a little curious, because your name wasn’t even on the role call shit for the past few days. How the fuck did you get here, and when?

Dave wrote his next response in the red pen he used, and he noticed his and Karkat’s red and grey writing started to fill the page.

_That’s ironic, since you literally just said you didn’t want to hear my origin story, but that’s fine. No one can resist trying to chat up a Strider, and learn about his home life. Really, don’t be embarrassed, it’s happened countless times. Still, I’ll indulge you on the juicy details, so buckle the fuck up and get ready to go on this origin story ride. When a mommy and daddy love each other very much, they decide to get their freaky shit on and have two children. One is my older brother, who’s my legal guardian, and the other is this awesomeness known as me. After living a lavish life of moving random places around America, older bro decides to settle down and actually buy a house. Problem is, he decides to move in within a day, and it’s all the way up in Washington State. So, we got in yesterday morning around ten. Somehow, my bro got me enrolled here. I don’t know how, and I don’t really care either, I’m just trying out the school thing after doing homeschool for like, my entire life._

He saw Karkat read his note, and noticed his eyebrows scrunch more as he wrote his response. He even started out a new sheet of paper, which was nice, because things were getting crowded on Dave’s.

I’m going to ignore the first five half amusing and half pathetic excuses for sentences you just wrote at me. That said, I’m pretty sure it’s not a possible thing to enroll a student one day before they enter class, especially two days into a school year. Whatever though, I don’t care what likely illegal strings your older brother pulled to spawn your shit eating grin in a chair right next to me for the remainder of the school year, so long as you attempt not to make my life more of the miserable shit I live through every day. So, take your little ‘Strider swag’ deal you’ve got going on and don’t fucking bother me with it, okay? From the way they acted when you introduced yourself, I’m sure that there’s thousands of fuckwads in this building that would be crawling over themselves in hoards to entertain your ass.

Dave rolled his eyes before writing his response.

_Oh wow, he said I had Swag, what an honor. But trust me, I’m aware. Here- I’ll tell you what, if you can resist me, I’ll tear myself away from the poetic grace of your words. Be warned though, no one can resist the charm, it’s part of the curse of being my perfect self. I wouldn’t expect the commoners to understand, but hopefully you can rise to the challenge of understanding my level of awesomeness._

What the fuck did I just read? No wonder all these assholes are fawning over you, you talk yourself up so much that you’re just as hopeless as the rest of these drama obsessed dimwits. I physically cannot comprehend your level of vanity, and it’s clear despite your looks and quote unqote lavish lifestyle, you’re more insecure than any of the people here. I hate to be the one to break the bad news, Mr. ‘perfect’, but this high platform of popularity you’ve pulled yourself up to is as pathetic as the sunglasses you’re clearly using to hide your emotions behind. Either that, or your brother just pulled you out of the 80’s when actual intellectuals instead of this mouth breathing herd of cows known as high school students thought wearing sunglasses inside was cool. Whichever way, it’s a pathetic act to hide yourself that’s painfully easy to see through. Now, can you stop passing me notes, and go have your stupid late teen crisis? 

  _See, that’s what makes you a thousand times more entertaining than the idiots that talk like what I just did. But seriously, calm your tits. I was just being a little ironic for conversation’s sake, no need to go analyze my existence. In case you didn’t realize it, I’m bored too, and the people I’ve seen crawling on me in an attempt to popularize me or throw me in an unironic clique are definitely not the type of idiots I need to be fraternizing myself with. I do, however, need a distraction from this guy who’s squawking at us, and our little exchange seemed to be an option. If it’s that emotionally taxing for you though, you can just stop passing me notes. Before that though, could you tell me when we get out of here, so I know how many more minutes I need to sit through this for until I can actually go do something I enjoy?_

Dave saw Karkat’s eyebrows lift in surprise as he read the words, and apparently Dave had done something pleasing, because the boy’s lips turned up from a smirk into a little smile. He wrote out his response far less furiously than before, and Dave read it.

You clearly don’t know the meaning of the word ironic, but I’ll take your word for it, Strider. We get out at 3:30, in like five minutes. Still though, if you think the shit you spouted at me before was irony, you probably should be paying attention to what Mr. English has to say. You’re right though, this has been a pleasant enough distraction from that guy’s constant words.

Dave read it and allowed himself to show a little smile too, before responding.

_Hey, Stfu man, I am the definition of the word ironic. Also, are you saying his name is Mr. English, he has his horrible, batshit English accent, and he even speaks English, but he fucking teaches biology?_

Dave asked, in note form, and Karkat rolled his eyes as he wrote out his response.

Wow, I must have hit a sensitive spot. About the teacher though, I know his accent is awful, and I’ve dealt with this shit for years. It sounds fake, but it’s not, he just talks like that. If he did teach English, that would actually be ironic, Strider. There, that’s probably the first thing you’ve learned today, so congratu-fucking-lations.  

_Well, I learned that the angry kid that sits next to me is a surprisingly fast writer, considering how shitty of an artist he is._

Karkat’s response came just as the bell rang. He put it on Dave’s desk and didn’t wait for him as he walked out towards his car. Dave smirked, and looked back at John, who missed their entire exchange, then read the paper.

Shut the fuck up, Strider. Oh, and see you tomorrow.

___________

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AN: Hey, guys. Here’s chapter 2, with Karkat added in as well, because he’s an important character now too. Yes, John did just completely ignore the entire note exchange that happened in front of him, because he really was focused on what the Jake had to say. Is every three days good for you guys when it comes to updates? I want a little space in between each chapter, but it's already all written, so it doesn't really matter.  
> Also here's a link to the original, by Helppu, who changed their name from Salty Master Memester. Check it out!  
> https://www.fanfiction.net/s/9934533/1/Johns-are-friends-Not-food


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Two friends hang out, and Strider shenanigans.

(Wednesday, August 4th)

John shivered a little. Even late summer seemed cold in Washington. He put his stuff away, and after making sure everything was somewhere in his backpack, he saw Dave standing over him. It still sent a thrill through John, when he realized his best friend was there, in the flesh, and undoubtedly as cool as he expected. Especially when he saw Dave wearing the same pair of sunglasses he’d given him for his thirteenth birthday. John tried to keep a giggle to himself when he remembered that he’d offered Dave the gift ironically, but Dave took it seriously anyway. For all his coolness and easy popularity, Dave Strider was a huge dork, and John was one of the four people that knew it. It made him a little less worried about impressing Dave, which was nice.

“You ready to go, Egdork?” Dave asked, and John stood, hefting his backpack with him. He took the nickname easily, and didn’t offer any complaints.

“Yep!” His voice was sunny, until he considered a potential problem. “Wait, do you know how to get to the carpool lane?” John asked, and Dave seemed to think about it.

“No idea. Lead the way, John.” He said, and John did. Before exiting, he told Mr. English goodbye, and thanked him for teaching them that day. The man gave him a cheerful response, and John led his friend outside. What they found was at least a few hundred students, all milling around and waiting for cars or getting in their own.  Dave frowned. “I’ll find Bro’s car. This is a shit ton of people.” Dave said, and John put his hand in a ‘meh’ motion.

“It’s about average. You said he drove a red truck, right?” John asked, and Dave nodded. “Oh, is it that one?” He pointed to a car in a parking space, and Dave realized it was.

“Yeah, let’s go.” Dave ran out, and John scrambled to catch up to his friend.

“Wait, Dave, you can’t just run in the street!” John shouted, but Dave paid no attention. There were about ten cars and a disgruntled ~~administrator in a yellow vest~~ crossing guard in his way. Dave parkoured over, around, and under all of them, even scoring a high-five from a newly distressed/impressed driver. John saw his epic best friend, but just walked on the crosswalk instead. Dave naturally reached his brother’s vehicle first, and only offered John a casual smirk when John reached the destination as well.

“Cool, right?” Dave asked, and John’s eyes bulged from his head as he replayed Dave’s dangerous stunts in his mind. He was sure that everyone saw Dave leap over moving cars or backflip sideways, while keeping his sunglasses on. He wasn’t sure if he was supposed to be amazed or keel over from worry about the danger Dave just put himself (and others, high school students weren’t the best of drivers.) in.

“No! I mean, yeah, but no, you could have been hurt! Geez Dave, you scared me.” His words surprised Dave, and the vampire realized John probably wasn’t used to seeing how casually hardcore he was in person.

“Oh man, sorry John. I promise I was fine though, and I’ve done worse.” The blue-eyed boy crossed his arms, but sighed.

“It’s fine, but just be careful, okay? I don’t want you to die after your first day of school, before we even got to hang out.” John said, and Dave’s tone softened immediately.

“Sorry, Egdork, I promise I won’t die on my first day of school.” He apologized, and John accepted it. The human boy’s mouth twitched, and the corner of it rose into a little smile.

“Yeah, Dave. I want to be able to hang out with you, and I can’t do it if you’re dead.” He paused, and looked up at Dave.  “But… that was pretty cool.” John admitted, and Dave smirked.

“Of course it was. But speaking of hanging out, you should enter the Strider express.” Dave said, and he held the door open for his friend. He moved to the other side of the car and let himself in, then John saw Dave’s older brother.

The first thing that hit him was the music. John couldn’t actually tell if it was a strange talk show host screaming, or dubstep. Either way, it was one of the most foreign sounding things he’d ever heard, and it was only noticeable when he stepped inside Dirk’s truck. The seating itself was comfortably nice, and the glass was clear. John’s eyes trailed up the dashboard until he saw him- Dave’s older brother.

 “Uh, hi Mr. Strider. I’m, uh, John. Dave invited me over.” He explained, and the man raised an eyebrow behind his anime sunglasses.  

 “Hello, John.” He addressed him immediately, then spoke to his sibling, his tone oddly strained. “Dave, why is your friend suddenly coming home with you after we literally got here today?” The man said it like he was trying not to scold his sibling, and while John realized that Dave hadn’t told his older sibling he was taking John home, which had the potential to be a problem. As John thought about it more, he felt like he’d just intruded on Dave about to get in trouble. Still, John wasn’t asked to step out of the car or anything, so he assumed that things were okay, at least for now.

“It’s been twenty eight hours, actually. We didn’t get here today.” Dave responded smartly, and Dirk’s voice turned flat.

“Whatever. Why is, uh, John, here?” He questioned, his voice straining to sound pleasant. In response, Dave turned to his friend.

“John, what were your plans for when you came home today, before I invited you?” He asked, and John didn’t have to think about it.

“Well, I guess I would just study and get on pester chum.” John replied, wondering where Dave was going with this. At those words, Dave spoke up triumphantly.

“See? All he would have done is talk to me anyway, bro!” Dave responded confidently, leaving out the part about studying. “I’m just saving him some time.” The elder strider just frowned, and you could hear it in his voice.

“You haven’t unpacked anything to do.” He responded reasonably, and John saw Dave cross his arms.

“Then we’ll just chill out, or something. I just happened to find my best friend in the world from the internet in my 7th period, we should be able to hang out.” Dave said, and sighed. “So, can we go now?” He asked, and Dirk clearly didn’t like it, but he put his hands on the wheel.

“Buckle up.” He said, and Dave rolled his eyes behind his sunglasses, but buckled. John did the same, and Dirk began to drive.

The conversation was nonexistent in the vehicle, and John reflected in the relative silence of the truck.  It was weird- no, crazy, that John was in the car, with Dave. He was sitting next to Dave, who was his best friend from thousands of miles away, and going towards his completely new house. After all, he should be walking home right now. Of course, walking home usually entailed a meeting with Karkat and Caliborn, and usually the latter of the two would shove him against things in whatever alleyway they located him. John frowned as he thought about it, then realized he was getting upset, and attempted to forget it and immerse himself in the car’s loud music instead. Of course, Dave spoke up, forcing John to focus on his words.

“Bro, could you turn this crap you call music down? It’s making the car shake.” He said, exaggerating a little. John was sure he’d get in trouble at that, but the older strider, Dirk, only responded with a smirk.

“Why would I do that? You don’t turn down your dj stuff from your room. Don’t think I forgot last week’s…incident.” John could hear how amused the man was with his tone as he emphasized the last word, and despite his usual dedication to a stoic face, Dave clearly got embarrassed.

“Hey man, I thought you were asleep! Don’t bring that up!” Dave responded indignantly, only to receive a laugh from his older brother. Instead of turning the music down, Dirk clearly showed Dave that he turned it up by one increment. John didn’t hear a difference, but it caused Dave to fume until they reached the house.

As they neared the driveway, Dave’s brother opened the garage, and Dave took that as a response to exit the car. The only issue, however, was the fact that the car was still in motion. Still, Dave heeded the danger no mind as he opened the door and jumped out, then closed the door in a fluid motion. John glued his face to the now closed door of the truck, wondering if his friend was alright.

“Dave, what was that? You just said you wouldn’t die before we got to hang out, and I don’t think the car ride here counts.” Once the car stopped, Dave stood at John’s door, and opened it for him when his friend spoke. In response, Dave just shrugged and offered his friend a grin. Unfortunately, Dirk couldn’t help but butt in.

“Quit showing off Dave, just go inside if you’re THAT excited to be home.” He responded. Dave just rolled his eyes in response.

“Oh please. I’m not showing off, I’m just better.” He said, and at that statement, John couldn’t help himself.

“Oh Snap!” He blurted out, before any common sense allowed him to stop. Both Strider brothers just stared at him, and as the realization of what he’d said hit him, John had to resist the urge to melt into a puddle of embarrassment and die. Suddenly, Dave burst out in laughter at the sheer unexpectedness of John’s words, and the older Strider did the same. John breathed out a small sigh of relief as he felt the tension leave him. The laughter died down quickly enough though, and Dirk smirked at his younger sibling before speaking.

“So, you think you’re better, huh? Beat this.” He said, and in less than the blink of an eye, he was standing in an unlocked doorway, a triumphant smirk on his face. Dirk smirked knowingly, and Dave just deflated in defeat, all while John looked back and forth between the two.

“Woah, what just happened?” He asked despite himself, and Dirk grinned at him as he walked towards the door.

“I flash stepped, kid.” John’s eyes widened.

“Wait, flash stepping? I thought they only did that in animes.” John noted, looking at the older brother as if he were inhuman. Dirk winked, and smirked.

“I am Anime.” John made a noise of approval, though he wasn’t sure if it was a joke or not. He let himself be led inside anyway, along with Dave. Dave looked a little miffed, but John didn’t notice, his attentions focused on the house around them.  It looked so un-Strider like to him. The house was as plain as one could get- white picket fence, white house, trimmed hedges.  The only thing that was different was the home’s flat roof, and they even managed to make that look perfectly normal. It was like Dave lived in a perfectly generic cube.  

“Okay.” Dirk said, pulling John out of his thoughts suddenly as he turned towards the two boys. “There’s swords, juice, and Pizza now in the fridge. I’ll be on my floor, you two can figure out what to do. Bye.” He said, then opened a doorway and disappeared behind it. Dave just looked away and stared at John behind his sunglasses. After closing the door, Dave waved an arm around in the general area of the home. John noticed a living room, and tons of boxes everywhere.

“This is the Strider house. Bask in its unpacked amazingness, Egbert. We can chill by the TV, or do whatever else is unpacked.” John nodded, then looked away from his friend.

“Uh, thanks for inviting me over.” He said shyly, suddenly feeling out of place. He didn’t know what to do or say, even though conversation tended to just happen with Dave on pesterchum, he suddenly felt clammy and awkward in real life. John’s change in demeanor seemed to hit Dave too, but of course, the blonde didn’t show it.

“Yeah, ‘Bert. No problem.” He responded, not as automatically as he would have liked. John wasn’t sure if he was going to say something else, and they had an awkward silence for all of three seconds until John forced himself to say something.

“You nicknamed my last name? That’s a thing people do?” John asked, and Dave just shrugged in response.

“I don’t know man, it can be a thing we do.” He said, trying not to be awkward (he was cool, not awkward, gog),  then led John towards the living room.

“Yeah, okay, Stri.” John tried, and Dave let out a shudder.

“No, never mind. I’ll just call you Egbert, sheesh.” John laughed a little at that, and stopped to look at the various stacks of boxes in their home. He paused for a minute to inspect some of their writing, but found it to be indecipherable. After a few minutes of staring, trying to identify the language, Dave came over to him. “I doubt you can read this stuff. It’s some of my brother’s robot coding.” John reluctantly walked away from the strange words, then followed his friend.

“Okay, so what are we going to do?” John asked, looking at the only item of technology that was unpacked. Of course, this was their television, and their remote sat on the coffee table.

“We could sit around and watch my little pony ironically, then talk about your awful movie tastes.” John looked at him quizzically.

 “That…was oddly specific, Dave.” His blonde friend, in turn, just collapsed on the couch, then placed his feet atop the table.

“Would you believe I had a dream about that once?” Dave asked, and John had to stifle a laugh.

“In your dreams, Dave.” John responded cheekily, and Dave groaned in response.

“I thought that was just something you did in text, don’t tell me you actually say that pun shit.” John just laughed a little and looked away nonchalantly.

“Sorry Dave, I just saw an opportunity and went for it. Still, good Idea.” John paused. “And my movie tastes aren’t bad!” Dave snickered a little at that.

“Says the guy who watches Matthew Mcconaughey.” John gasped, and prepared himself for his rant, with evidence, about why that particular actor was so skilled at everything. Dave put up his hands before he could start. “Woah, kidding Egbert! I already got the lecture.” Dave said, then casually turned on the television. He selected the first episode of Friendship is Magic he could find, and watched as they launched into their iconic theme. After the song ended, Dave noticed his friend standing.

“John, you know you can sit down, right?” He asked, and John paused for a second, then nodded and joined him on the sofa. “Actually, wait. Do you want to take off your sweatshirt?” His friend asked, a question that John could only respond to after a confused little blink.

“What? Why?” He asked, and Dave shrugged.

“You look hot.” He said, then immediately rephrased. “No, I mean, I’m dying in this long sleeve thing, and I used to live in Texas, so I know hot when I see it and you’re definitely- wait!” He cut himself off again. “Okay, forget everything I just said.” Dave spoke, trying to salvage what was left of his coolness. “Do you need to take off your sweatshirt? It’s really warm in here.” John laughed a little nervously, but declined.

“No, I’m cold blooded, so I’m always cold.” He responded. Dave gave him a look, but laid off the topic. After a few minutes of watching the show in relative silence, John asked Dave a question. “Okay, so why is everyone else at least one different color, but this pony is all pink?” He asked, pointing at a bouncing blur of pink on screen. Before Dave could respond, a voice from behind the pair spoke up.

“Because Pinkie Pie can do what she wants- also, it’s in the name.” The voice said, and John jumped in his seat. He turned and found Dirk, Dave’s guardian, towering over him. “Dave, could you come to the kitchen?” He asked, his tone making it clear that it was not a question. Dave frowned, but agreed.

“Okay, I will, but only because I can get some more juice this way.” He said, then began to stand. John looked at his friend’s retreating form.

“Uh, Dave? Where’s your bathroom?” He asked suddenly, and Dave chuckled a little.

“Down that hallway, second door on the right.” He responded, and John thanked him and walked quickly in that direction. Dave turned around, and then set his jaw in its usual stoic fashion. He didn’t necessarily want to have this talk with his brother, but he knew he had to have it. Dave made sure his face was the same as usual, and then entered the kitchen.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AN: Hey! Okay, so this is like the fourth eighth tenth time I’m editing this, Geez. Also, a warning for future chapters, which doesn’t really apply yet: I know, John’s Dad really cares about him in canon, but this was changed in this story to add to the plot line. And, uh, as a version of me that’s just editing because woo hoo i finished writing this, let me tell you- it gets wild. And I don’t know if their interactions came out as purposely awkward as I would have liked, but awkwardness was the idea here.


	4. Chapter 4

JAFNF Chapter 4

(Wednesday, August 4th)

Shit. That’s all Dave could think about as he entered the kitchen. Not apple juice, not his nerdy friend, just how much deep shit he was wading in today. Actually, he took that euphemism back. It sounded disgusting. Either way, he knew when his brother called him into the kitchen, their talk wouldn’t be good. Dave walked into the kitchen, and by walked, he meant that he took five steps from his living room onto the chessboard-patterned floor of their light blue kitchen. The area had what he assumed was normal kitchen stuff, which included various appliances, cabinets, and their refrigerator. Speaking of the refrigerator, Dave wanted some apple juice, but he felt far too nervous to actually go get the stuff.

“Dave.” Dirk’s voice said, and Dave had to resist the urge to cringe. Instead, he over compensated, and his response was extra loud.

“What?” He asked, and immediately his guardian looked towards the couch. Thankfully, John was still in the bathroom.

“Keep your voice down!” He said, his voice barely above a whisper. Dave rolled his eyes behind his shades, but spoke quietly.

“Whatever.” He responded, then allowed his brother to continue.

“Okay, I really didn’t want to be rude to your friend, but why the hell did you think it was a good idea to bring a human in here? I let you out of the house for like, seven hours and you return with your geeky internet friend? That’s some shitty responsibility Dave.” His guardian spoke, and Dave frowned. Dirk’s tone changed.“I mean, I kind of get it. He’s the first contact you’ve had with someone that’s your age, but is the best course of action really to bring him to our house? You know you shouldn’t bring people in here.” Dirk said, his voice stern. At that, Dave folded his arms and stared at his older sibling.

“Why can’t I? Shouldn’t I get this much freedom? Besides, you bring people in our house all the time , or at least you did in Texas. How is this any different?” The boy asked, looking through his shades defiantly. 

“It’s different with you. I have to protect you! Is that not clear?” The older one asked, now glaring through his sunglasses as well.

“Oh, right. You have to protect me because I’m a ‘pureblood’. You know, I’m a person too! Hell, I wish I could be human, like you! I fucking hate being a vampire.” Dave failed to notice the bubbling anger behind his brother’s usual collected façade.

“Shut up Dave.” The man said seriously, and Dave felt guilty enough not to respond. He knew he’d gone a little too far with this, but in true Strider fashion, Dirk didn’t confront him about it. Instead, he merely silenced the boy, but even a response like that was enough for Dave to realize what he’d done. “It is my job to take care of you, understand? That’s the one thing our parents told me to do before hunters fucking killed them, in an attempt to kill you! You being protected is what our fucking dead mom and dad wanted, so I’m going to protect you. Unfortunately, I can’t actually take care of you if you fuck yourself over by walking into the arms of a hunter. You know that, I know that, so I don’t know what your fucking problem is.” Dirk responded testily. Dave huffed. His parents died before he was old enough to remember them, but it did make him feel a little guilty for breaking some unspoken but obvious rules in their house. Dave knew the dangers of letting random people into his house. They could easily be tracked by hunters, or be hunters themselves. But this was John. He’d been Dave’s closest friend in the world for years, meaning that there was no way that Dave would pass up an opportunity to finally hang out with him. So, he refuted Dirk’s words, not because they were inherently wrong, but because he didn’t want to lose the opportunity to be friends with John. Besides, Dave could probably convince Dirk that John was a safe person to let in.

“Whatever. You know, there’s only like a thousand hunters in the entire world, and like 90 billion werewolves and vampires and shit. So, excuse me if I want to invite a friend over!” Dave said. Dirk’s voice, in turn, became level again.

“Well, want to hear something funny?” Dirk asked, only receiving a poker face from Dave in response. “Here’s something hilarious. There are like 90 billion monsters or whatever, but you want to know something? There are only four pureblood vampires in the entire world, and you’re one of them. So excuse me from trying to stop you from letting hunters on our trail!” Dave tried to speak, but Dirk continued. “And before you say they could hunt other purebloods, let me remind you that you’re the easiest one to get. Out of the current purebloods that are alive, one of them is like, crazy or something, another is an old fucker, one is normal, and one is you! However, at least the old one and the normal one have each other and they get their crazy vampire shit. You know what you have?  Your gigantic support team includes some inexperienced guy running around, trying to hide his dumbass of a brother from some insane murderers.” Dirk’s voice actually sounded eerily calm, and Dave’s arms flew outwards in his desperation to make his brother understand.

“But that’s not my fault! I was born into all of this, not bitten. I didn’t ask for it.” Dave became quieter now, and his gaze turned towards the ground as he crossed his arms again. “I don’t want to be a vampire, bro. Screw the “powers”, I don’t care about them. I just… want to be normal for once.” Dave admitted, and Dirk’s face didn’t change, but his posture did slightly. At least Dave’s words had some effect. Dirk’s voice turned a little sympathetic.

“Dave. I know you didn’t ask for this. I didn’t either- but I’m trying to help you out here, man. You know I’m just trying to keep you safe. Even settling down here feels like a risk, but I know you wanted to try school before you turn eighteen. I’ve already bent rules, and we got really close to being caught in Texas. I know the council says there’s no reported hunters in the state, but they could be wrong. It’s dangerous for you, everywhere. I wish I could take you somewhere where you could live normally, but this is the most I know how to do. You know, I’m trying too.” He said, and sighed. Dirk seemed legitimately sorry, but also didn’t seem willing to change. At that realization, Dave stopped trying to argue. It was pointless anyway, and Dave already knew he was right. They were silent for a bit, until Dave heard a flushing noise. The two needed to finish this conversation, now.

“Fine. I won’t bring anyone over.” He amended, but continued. “But I’m still going to school and being friends with John! He’s been my best friend for years, even through all the crazy vampire shit. I deserve that much, at least.”  Dave said, and Dirk seemed to be okay with at least continuing school. “Please though- think about me hanging out with him, please. He’s my best friend.” He said, and with a sigh, Dirk promised he’d think about it, and that was final. Both sensed that the conversation was kind of over, so Dave abruptly turned and walked back to the couch. As he entered, John walked back from the bathroom. Instead of commenting on his friend’s lack of a bathroom mirror, John frowned at his friend.

“Dude, you suck at directions.” John said, crossing his sweatshirt covered arms. Dave raised an eyebrow behind his sunglasses, his casual demeanor back.

“What?”

“Your bathroom was not on the second door to the right. It was on the left, Dave, and four doors down.” John said, rolling his eyes. Dave wanted to respond sarcastically, but his brother cleared his throat behind the two, and everything fell silent.

“Sorry you two, but I have to go. Even though I work at a night club, they need me to start my set up now.” Dirk said, and John nodded. It was time for him to go, yet he didn’t feel like he’d overstayed his welcome or anything. Dave just sighed in response, then clicked the remote on the TV.  Really, the nightclub was a good lie. No one would background check him or ask about his “profession”, and it explained why Dirk was home all day. While he actually preferred building robots (and running from hunters), it was nice to have a cover job.

“Alright. It was nice to have you over John, maybe the next time we hang out, we can do something that’s actually interesting.” He said, then stood from the couch he’d recently sat on. John immediately grabbed his backpack from earlier, then slung the heavy item over his back, lumberjack style.

“No problem, thank you for having me over.” He said, addressing the two brothers. Dirk nodded, making it clear that he understood, then spoke up again.

“I can drive you home, John.” Dirk said, and John immediately froze. Dave, who’d been looking away in slight disinterest, looked up at his friend in surprise. How did he suddenly get so tense? John immediately unfroze though, and offered one of his (slightly) bucktoothed smiles.

“Actually, If you could just drive me back to school, that would be great.” John said, and Dave stared at him from behind his shades. Dave could feel that he was uncomfortable, and nervous. John wasn’t exactly the best at hiding his emotions, but now it was clear that he was trying anyway. If Dirk noticed, he didn’t care. Instead, the man just shrugged, deciding against asking questions. It wasn’t as if he was a nosy or particularly caring person, so he just held the keys on his finger. Immediately, the three males piled into the car, then Dave started up the truck.

John relaxed after a minute. No questions asked- that was nice. After looking at the vehicle for a few seconds, he realized it didn’t have a rearview mirror. Instead, the car had little cameras that displayed footage from behind the car. John found it cool, but instead of looking into it more, he absentmindedly pulled out his phone while the car drove on. The two Striders were arguing about something- probably the car’s music volume- but John found something else that captivated his interest. He had a new pesterchum, and it was from a pink typing stranger.

TipsyGonalgist (TG) began pestering Ecto Biologist. (EB)

TG: John!

TG: Johnny boy, we need to tlak!

TG: *Talk, sorry

EB: Uh, hello? Who is this?

EB: How do you know my name?

TG: Ssssh John!

TG: Don’t worry, Im on the cass

TG: *Case

EB: Uh…

TG: Don’t send a ellipisis at me Johnny boy

TG:* Ellipsis

TG: Ill tell you more when youre alone

TipsyGonalgist (TG) ceased pestering Ecto Biologist. (EB)

John stared at his phone uncomprehendingly. After reading over their conversation again, John shivered. He was innerved. The amount of information this person knew about him was alarming, yet he couldn’t do much about it except for waiting for more information. John knew that it could have been one of Caliborn’s pranks, but this was too specific. The teenager immediately replaced the phone in his pocket, then wanted to share the experience with his friend. Unfortunately, they’d already pulled up to the school, and he pulled his backpack onto his back.

“Thank you!” He said, and the older brother nodded. Dave actually spoke to him, wishing him a fairly standard sendoff.

“Thanks for chilling man, even if it was like, super short. I’ll see you later, right?” Dave asked, and John immediately nodded.

“Uh, of course. I mean, we have biology together so- yeah. I’ll see you tomorrow.” John said. The blonde vampire nodded, and the two brothers rolled away in their car. John breathed a sigh of relief. He finally faced a meeting with one of his friends, and John felt like he’d accomplished something that day.

TipsyGonalgist (TG) began pestering Ecto Biologist. (EB)

TG: Whew!

John hesitantly looked down at his phone, and the strange person form earlier spoke to him again. He felt seriously uncomfortable, and looked around cautiously for any people before he looked again.

TG: I thought they’d never leave.

TG: *never

EB: Okay, you’re kind of weird.

EB: Who are you? Is this a prank?

TG: I’m roxy the irl vampire huntrss

TG:*Huntres

TG: Dangit

EB: Ha, ha. Okay, now really, who are you?

TG:  I’m Roxy! Cab you hear me now?

TG: *Can

John just shook his head and closed his phone. Roxy the vampire huntress sounded like some sort of twilight fangirl. The odds were that she was some 13 year old that thought they were funny, but it still unnerved him. After all, her texting had been creepily timed. The idea that she was watching him- well, whoever she was, he hoped that she would stop. John didn’t even know why some creeper was coming after him, but he felt like he should at least tell one of his friends.

GardenGnostic (GG) began pestering EctoBiologist (EB)

GG: Hey John!

GG: Are you there?

GG: I guess not

GG: Reply when you can!

Apparently, fate wanted him to tell Jade. John felt bad for not talking to her all day, but at least the two had more to talk about now.

EB: Hello Jade!

GG: Oh! Hey!

EB: Guess what!

GG: What?

EB: Dave moved in a few minutes away from me

EB: And we didn’t even know it!

GG: What?!

GG: Now you guys will party without me

EB: Aww, Jade!

GG: Kidding! That sounds like fun!

EB: Yeah, it will be!

EB: Oh, one sec

GG: Okay!

John smiled. Talking to Jade always made him feel a little happier. Knowing that she wanted to talk to him made him happy, even if she was thousands of miles away on a remote island. They’d known each other for years, and John was glad that he had her as a friend. Unfortunately, these notifications from a different pesterchum didn’t seem to stop coming, so John switched tabs back to the self proclaimed ‘huntress’.”

TG: Joooooooohnnny booy!

TG: Don’t close your phone on me :(

EB: Seriously, what do you want?

TG: Aww John, I just missed you!

EB: …

TG: No seriously though,

TG: Stay away from Dave

TG: He’s bad news John

John frowned. Enough was enough. This girl could randomly stalk him all she wanted,(well, okay, she couldn’t actually) but the idea that she could find out about his personal life and police him about it- well, he was done with her game.

EB: Do we know you?

TG: No

TG: But you will

EB: I don’t want to. Leave us alone, ‘vampire huntress’.

TG: Don’t worry, we’ll talk again Johnny

TG: * mysterious exit*

TipsyGonalgist (TG) ceased pestering Ecto Biologist.

John groaned and immediately blocked the stranger. He wasn’t sure if she was watching him, or just hacking his phone, but he knew he wanted it to stop. John read over their conversation again. He still couldn’t figure out why Dave was ‘bad news’, but he wanted to talk to his friend about it. It was possible that this was a part of some scheme to mess with him, but John wasn’t sure. Unfortunately, John couldn’t do much about it now, and he’d already missed an important meeting. He could think about Roxy when he got home.

_________

AN: Hi guys! Again, all thanks to Saltymastermemester for letting me write this. I enjoy it! The amount of pesterlogs in this chapter was a little undesirable, but hopefully I can shorten it later.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AN: Hi guys! Again, all thanks to Saltymastermemester for letting me write this. I enjoy it! Thanks for the kudos and the comments, I really appreciate them! Hasta La Pasta, and see you all next chapter!


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, it's been a while. I'm sorry for the lack of updates, I've been busy. Thanks for waiting!

JAFNF

 (Wednesday, August 4th)

Chapter 5

“So, why am I going to work with you?” The young vampire asked, directing his question towards the blonde driver. The man in question kept his eyes on the road, and answered him without pausing. Dave yawned, and the man rolled his eyes before responding.

“Well,” He said, his voice sounding like he’d regret his next words, “We’re going to need to have a discussion about rules if you want to start bringing your friends over.” The elder Strider said, the words almost sounding like a confession. Dave had to resist the urge to jump up in the car and scream, or whatever excited teenagers did, and managed a little sound of agreement instead. “But,” His older brother added, “We’re not going to work. We’re visiting the council again. We’re over due for a visit since our move.” Dave immediately frowned and started to complain.

“What? Why do we need to go see old people?” Dave asked, thinking to the group with a shudder. He hated the council. Or, councils. Sometimes, groups of supernaturals liked to get together, and protect each other when necessary. There were councils everywhere, for a variety of supernatural species. They were mainly for vampires and werewolves, but honestly, they felt more like creepy, old person versions of fraternities or sororities. Often, they’d team up with other councils to transfer vampires to safety, or get together and brag about bullshit, or fight other councils. And of course, Dave hated them all. First, they were a constant reminder of how creepy his existence as a vampire really was. Second, they treated him like he was a trophy of some sort. With them, it was always, ‘look at us, we have a pure blood. Don’t touch him unless you’re here to polish the boy!’ and a bunch of other crap. The idea that he was so easily objectified and shown off to other councils upset him greatly, which was one of the reasons why he appreciated his brother. Sure, the man was apathetic towards almost everything he did, but he didn’t brag about his sibling or show him off, the way he knew that actual parents liked to do. Dave appreciated it, even if he’d never tell his older sibling.

“We’re doing it because it’s required, Dave. They found a state that’s not fucking Wyoming that’s supposed to be safe for you, and helped us get there. I think that’s enough to be grateful for, so we’re going to see the council. Quit being a whiny little shit and deal, Dave.” Dirk said, his usual lack of caring in his tone. Dave grunted unhappily and checked his phone. He was, for lack of a better phrase, upset that he was upset. After all, today was supposed to be one of the more fun days in his extended life. He had the chance to talk to other people today, besides whatever take out carrier arrived at their door, and he added the surprise of meeting his best friend in real life. And yet, Dave felt a little upset. He didn’t like it, but he could ignore it for now, and focus on something positive, like the fact that he’d just met John. Meeitng ectoBiologist in person was an unprecedented good surprise, and Dave couldn’t wait to see him tomorrow too. Speaking of John, his phone vibrated, meaning that John pestered him. Dave unlocked the screen, and felt the corner of his mouth twitch up at the blue text. It was a comforting sight for the young vampire, for a multitude of reasons. For one thing, he was used to texting John, so having a non-verbal conversation was good for him. Dave was in his comfort zone again, and he quickly scrolled through John’s sent messages to get to the current one, then respond.

EctoBiologist (EB) began pestering TurntechGodhead (TG)

EB: Hey Dave

EB: Thanks for hanging out with me today.

EB: Even if we didn’t do anything :B

TG: No problem man

TG: I mean

TG: One day we’ll do it again

TG: Just hang out

TG: And watch dumb movies or some shit

TG: While talking about how cool everything is

EB: That sounds like an average day for you.

 TG: It kind of is

TG: That’s the norm for me

TG: A part of me wants to share the coolness

TG: But then it’s too cool to share

TG: Because the coolness stays with the cool

TG: Otherwise the lame will pollute it

EB: What does that even mean?

TG: Some cool as hell stuff

EB: You’re a dork. Anyway I’m home now.

EB: Are you at your brother’s work?

Dave looked out of the window. They were definitely far from wherever his brother’s workplace was, but they were pretty close to the council’s dumb clubhouse.

TG: Yeah, we’re pretty close, but I can still text for a while.

EB: Oh cool.

EB: I also got a pester from some weird girl

Dave raised an eyebrow at this. John usually didn’t label people as weird, so this was, well, a weird situation. He read more of what his friend said.

EB: She knew both of our names

EB: Then she typed horribly, and said she was some stupid twilight thing.

TG: What?

EB: She said she was a ‘vampire huntress,’ or whatever

EB: And she told me not to hang out with you!

Dave’s heart beat as he read his words. She was a vampire hunter that told his friend to stay away from him? That was- well, Dave was glad that he wasn’t actually talking to John now, because he felt his stoicism fade, and he began to panic. Dave was understandably upset now- it had taken weeks of convincing and strifing and practical begging to get his brother to agree to move here and let him go to school. He’d just moved here, and this was his one chance at being normal, and hunters were already after him? Dave tried to keep it quiet, but apparently, his brother noticed, at least a little.

“Hey, don’t worry about the council. Just chill out, they’re not going to try to take your picture again.” He said, referencing an incident from a few meetings ago. Dave realized that he looked tense. He needed to visibly relax, or else Dirk would know something was wrong, and John would too if he didn’t hurry and send a text back. He sent a quick text to John, who’d probably been waiting.

TG: Haha what is that?

EB: I don’t even know. She was super creepy though.

TG: Why?

Dave internally groaned with anticipation for his answer. He felt as if his reasons wouldn’t be good, or normal, and unfortunately, Dave was correct.

EB: She knew I wasn’t home when we hung out.

EB: Do you think she hacked my phones microphone?

Dave paled at the thought. He’d had a conversation with his brother about being a vampire, and if the hunter hacked John’s mic, they could have heard them talk. A responsible person probably would have told his brother about the conversation right then… but Dave didn’t want to. There had to be a way he could finally live a life outside of being a vampire. Dave was already making friends, and even though it was only his first day in school, today was one of his best. He didn’t want that to end thanks to another hunter. He just… just needed a plan. Dave could hold off on telling Dirk about the hunter until then, right? He’d be fine, he knew hunters wouldn’t attack him yet. And so, Dave looked back at his phone screen, stealing a glance at his brother, and made a decision. He wasn’t going to tell him about the potential hunter. Dave thought in silence for a while, until Dirk spoke up.

“Dave. We’re here.” He stated, and the car immediately stopped. Dave audibly groaned at this, and Dirk just rolled his eyes. “Deal with it.” He said, and the older strider left the car.

TG: I hope not

TG: We’re here, gotta go.

EB: Oh okay. Bye!

EctoBiologist ceased pestering TurntechGodhead

Dave swallowed his nerves and reapplied his usual stoic face. He would figure out this situation, but for now, he had to go to this meeting. The vampire took one last look at his phone, then walked inside.

After John’s talk with Dave, then later informing Jade on the matter, John collapsed in his bed. The strider’s house, while looking normal on the outside, was filled with color and other things that definitely made the house unique. John’s home lacked that quality. It looked as white and boring on the outside as it did on the inside, and the only nuance from the one color scheme was his kitchen. The boy heard his stomach growl, but he ignored it with a frown of distaste. Eating meant going to the kitchen, and he knew there were still cakes in there. Instead, he left his bedroom and walked towards the bathroom.

John was well past checking if anyone else was home when he did this. After all, his dad never came home early- ever. Actually, John hadn’t seen his father in a while, and they hadn’t spoken since his last birthday. The occurrence wasn’t an unnatural one, and John was more than used to caring for himself inside their house. The house was medium sized for his area, but when he was the only one in the home, the house always felt bigger. John’s home always felt like a hollow, empty, lonely space that was too big for one person. He hated it. Maybe, if his father was there, he’d be able to enjoy home, and the house wouldn’t feel so empty. As it was, John always felt isolated, and alone in his own home. School never helped with that either. He tended to feel alone in big groups of people. It was a problem. John wondered where his father was now, and his hands squeezed into fists as he unsuccessfully tried to ward off that terrible, lonely feeling. It came anyway, and John felt his hands tighten as he contemplated the whereabouts of his father. John knew that the man was probably on some business trip he hadn’t cared enough to mention to his son. John’s father didn’t care about him, and he only surfaced when bills needed to be paid, or when their home was the closest rest stop between whatever business endeavor he pursued.

John actually didn’t know what his father’s line of work was. The pair only spoke once a year, when his father left him a gigantic birthday cake, present, and a note every April. The three words he’d say- ‘Happy birthday son’, were the only three words he’d ever remembered his father saying. John learned his father’s first name from a degree on the wall, and the two had so little interaction that John forgot about his existence at times. To say the two weren’t close was a drastic understatement. They were two strangers that occasionally interacted and shared genes. He wished the man was there, but of course, ever since John’s mother died, he’d been distant.

And then there was Caliborn, and Karkat. John knew what they’d say to him, what they’d do to him. Caliborn always did whatever he could to upset and demean him. Whether it was making fun of his functional lack of parents, or hitting him for being so weak, Caliborn always had a way to make John hate everything more. And Karkat. Karkat just stood there, and refused to help. For an old friend, it was a stab in the heart. If he wasn’t looking at John like he was pathetic, he was checking to make sure no one would witness Caliborn bullying John. The two managed to make school terrible for him, and now John’s only real outlet or source of interaction, pesterchum, turned on him too. Pesterchum was probably what kept him alive for all this time, with friends like Dave, Jade, and Rose. It was where he could talk, and laugh, and not worry. It was a constant place of good, when everything else was bad. And now that Roxy was messing with John, and keeping him paranoid about being watched, even that was ruined.

As the boy thought about all of this, he quickly felt his hunger fade away, and that isolated, terrible, alone feeling came back. John forced out a sigh to try to ward off the tears he felt growing behind his now squeezed shut eyelids. He didn’t want to cry. He’d lost control of every other aspect of his life, surely he could have a little control somewhere. John refused to lose control of his emotions too, and cry. He had to have something. John needed something to make him stop feeling so isolated, and sad, and terrible. John wanted something to replace the tears that threatened to come down his face. John couldn’t cry now, his emotions were the only thing he had left. Instead, John removed his trusty hoodie and found one of the medicine cabinets in that lonesome home.

In the white cabinet, John discovered all of his usual supplies. Thus, the process began. His brain started to flood with thoughts of Roxy, how he called Dave a douche, his father, how alone he felt in this world- and suddenly, the previously healed cuts on his arm tore open as new scars crossed over them, the razor splitting skin. John mentally screamed at himself not to cry. He shouldn’t cry. He squeezed his eyes shut to attempt to control it, to keep it in. And then came the cut. John found tiny drops of blood coming out of his skin, and looked down into his arm. If he focused on the pain there, he wouldn’t have to worry about… have to think about… John felt himself get close to crying again. He needed control over himself. He needed more. He proceeded to re open partially healed wounds until he reached the end of his arm. It took him a while, but eventually, the threat of tears was gone, and the sharp pain of the skin razor was all he could feel. As usual, a little blood dripped onto the sink area, but John didn’t care. He was in control again.  

After cleaning and sterilizing his arms and the sink, John tugged his faithful hoodie back on his body. He went back to his room, then sank down beside his bed. He had homework to do, and working on it would hopefully help him forget all of the stuff going through his mind. Within seconds, John had a textbook on a desk, a pencil in his hand, and he was ready to work the ache that persisted in his chest away.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! I hate the way this came out. Let me know if this was in any way inaccurate (I’m sure it is), and I apologize for any triggers released in this chapter. I don’t self harm, so trying to wrap my brain around the concept of people who do- well, it wasn’t an easy scene to write, unfortunately. Thanks for reading this far in!


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A fourteen year old convinced me to post the rest. I'm so sorry. really, that's all I can say.

JAFNF Chapter 6

(Wednesday, August 4 th )

And, another one bites the dust. Of course, Dave wasn’t referencing the death of people- no, he actually talked about the little yellow bird that crashed into a Mario styled pipe. Dave sat at the council meeting, but his presence was almost irrelevant. After all, he was pulling one of his stereotypical teenager moves, which included (but wasn’t limited to) having headphones on, blasting music, and avoiding all contact with the people in the room while he messed around on his phone. Of course, his mind went a million miles per minute with the thoughts of what he could do about the hunter, but at least he was okay for the meeting. As usual, Dave let Dirk handle the gathering, where his caretaker actually talked to the creepy vampire weirdoes, meaning that (thankfully) he didn’t have to. The council members made him more than just uncomfortable, for a variety of reasons.

For one thing, they were all incredibly old- definitely a hundred years each. They all looked wrinkly, so whatever allegations humans had about vampires being young forever was completely unfounded. That alone probably wouldn’t be unsettling, but there was more. Dave’s most recent fear of the council came a little more recently. Once, Dave shook the hand of a vampire council member, and he felt like his life would end at that second. He’d been pretty young, but his entire body washed over with dread, and he could imagine them sinking their teeth into his flesh while he slept. Ever since then, he felt like the creepy, older vampires were watching him. It didn’t help that they treated him like an object. He’d listened into some of the meetings before, and when phrases like ‘handle the pureblood with care’ and ‘his blood is almost too perfect to consume’ came up in their regular speech, it only gave Dave more reason to dislike them. The council had been a force in his life since his childhood, and he’d always hated them. Even sharing eye contact made him feel like they were wolves staring at a piece of meat, except it was extra extra rare, and they were the type of creeps that could eat ten-second-steamed raw meat with literal blood dripping off him. Dave was the meat, and he didn’t want to be the meat. Hell, he could have been a vegetarian for all he cared so long as those council members didn’t- okay, off topic. The point was, Dave didn’t like anything about the council members, and even looking at them gave him chills. So, Dave avoided looking at them at all costs. Usually he was safe behind his shades, but he swore their vampire eyes could see through them, and directly into his soul.  He shuddered at the thought, and wished this could be over, now.

It felt like hours, but finally, Dirk tapped him on the shoulder, a sign that they could finally leave. Dave immediately shot out of his seat, offering a somewhat sarcastic two-fingered solute to the people of the council (he’d toned it down from the middle finger four meetings ago), then following him out of the door. Once the two were outside, Dave had to suppress a shudder. This place always freaked him out. He was just glad to leave. Dave immediately sat in the passenger seat of his brother’s truck, and Dirk got behind the wheel. They were silent for a while, and the pressure of the hunter fell back on Dave’s mind. In his anticipation to be out of the council meeting’s headquarters, he’d almost forgotten that he was keeping something from his sibling, and now he almost felt bad. Even worse, Dave felt pressured to talk in what would have been an otherwise comfortable silence between himself and his older sibling, so he spoke.

“So… how is everything, with the council?” Dave asked, referencing the council. Dirk shrugged.

“It’s the same shit as always from them, and they’re no different from the one in Texas. Do this, don’t die, blah blah.” Dirk responded truthfully, and Dave relaxed a little. Dirk wanted to start driving, but he looked towards his brother and frowned. Sighing in annoyance, Dave strapped the leather seatbelt around his body, and Dirk nodded with satisfaction. Dave wanted to complain- after all, his brother let him pull insane stunts and spar atop rooftops, but his belief in ‘buckling up’ was insanely adamant. Still, he didn’t want to re hash a fight, not after the progress he’d made today, and after what he was hiding from his sibling.

Dave pulled out his phone again, attempting Flappy Bird once again. His mind wandered to John, and he replayed their few moments at his house today in his head. He felt lucky to have met him, and more importantly, he felt a little prideful too. He’d made his best friend laugh, and that was an accomplishment. The vampire noticed that John’s laugh was a little breathier than he’d expected, but it suited him, and he liked the sound. In truth, Dave felt incredibly blessed to hear his laugh, and it made him warm inside when he realized he was the source. Without knowing it, a gigantic smile fell on Dave’s face, and Dirk noticed his brother’s behavior.

“What are you smiling about, punk?” The older brother asked, and Dave looked confused for a second. He hadn’t noticed he was smiling.

“What? Nothing, just beat my Flappy Bird high score.” Dirk snorted.

“It doesn’t take much to beat two, Dave.” He said, and Dave looked up in a little irritation.

“Shut up, it’s higher than two, bro.” He said, and Dirk raised an eyebrow.

“Oh, really little man? What is it then?” He asked him, and Dave avoided his face as his ears lit up in embarrassment.

“…Seven.” He admitted, and Dirk laughed at this. Dave rolled his eyes behind his shades, then looked back down to his phone. Dave decided that he’d try to make his quick lie true. As the little bird flapped on, Dave prepared to reach the eighth pipe when Dirk hit a speed bump, causing a curse to come from Dave. He settled down, but Dirk watched him with amusement as he continually neared whatever his goal was, then failed because of the car’s movement. With everything on his mind, getting frustrated over flappy bird seemed insane, but he could immerse himself in that for a little bit, instead of the real problem he faced. So he let his expression stay stoic, or frustrated if a particular pipe was hard. After a while, he finally grinned earnestly.

He was at eight.

It only took him two hours.

Thursday (August 5 th )

The next day, John woke up feeling frazzled. He hadn’t climbed out of bed for five minutes after he was supposed to, and the little change in schedule was enough to make him feel uncomfortable without being late.

As he managed to put his clothes on and brush his teeth in less than two minutes, then be out of the door in another eight, he felt like he’d make it to school on time. Then, of course, his friend texted him good morning, and while he responded to Dave’s messages, he walked slower. Once he finally reached first period, the late bell was ringing, but he found his way into his seat quickly. As the class commenced, he heard his phone go off with a multitude of pester chum notifications, and even as he silenced it, he couldn’t focus on the class much. John sincerely hoped that it wasn’t that girl again- Rocky, maybe. Still, he wondered why she’d possibly want him to stay away from Dave.

It was possible that she was some girl that thought their building was the set of ‘High School Musical’, and she was some popular person that he’d never cared to look at or know the name of. She could have been trying to get Dave up to her level of popularity, or whatever strange fantasy she lived in, and didn’t want a nerd like John dragging him down. The thought made him feel bad for a second, but he realized that even though Dave was  the coolest person he knew, they were still best friends, and being in real life wouldn’t change that. Or so he hoped. John put it aside for now, he’d deal with his childish insecurities later.

Then, there was another option, one that John kind of wanted to entertain some more. If Dave was like, the rebel leader of some organization or something, and that girl was trying to take him down. Despite the idea’s silliness, John could actually see Dave in that situation. He had to stop himself from snorting at the thought of the SWAT team showing up at his door, looking for the whereabouts of Dave Strider. The idea was a funny one, to say the least, and Dave certainly fit the persona of a rebel leader. He was cooler than cool, and apparently good with weapons. Internally, he scoffed at himself. The idea of Dave having a secret life, or something that would send armed people towards his door was an insane one. Dave was just a normal kid that happened to be John’s caring best friend. John wondered what Dave was doing now. He immediately answered his question with ‘something ironic’. He daydreamed on until the teacher snapped him to attention. The class of idiotic high scholars laughed, and for the second time since meeting Dave, John found that he couldn’t care less.

After a few more classes, John finally reached his lunch period. He usually sat in the library and worked instead of eating during the time, but now he had Dave to consider too, assuming that he was actually in lunch during this time. The raven haired boy just went to the fairly empty library as usual. He’d either help out the librarian, as per usual, or catch up on class work, but he was already far ahead. Last night’s ‘work out the pain’ session benefited him greatly.

Before doing any work, John finally pulled out his phone, only to find another mystery texter talking to him. They’d ranted in capital letters for what must have been over a hundred words per message, then stopped. John skimmed through the first few lines, until he realized that it was some more of that ‘stay away from Dave’ stuff. The boy groaned in frustration. He would address this later. Instead, he focused his attentions on the librarian, Mrs. Maryam, who was re shelving a few books. After greeting the middle aged, or older woman kindly, John asked if he could assist her.

“Thank you John. Your kindness is appreciated.” She said, her words concise and proper, as always. John smiled a little in response.

“Happy to help.” John responded, and the librarian offered him one of her closed mouthed smiles as he picked up a book and found its location.

Meanwhile, Dave groaned. He’d already been through a grueling hour of math. Congratulations, he could find the length of a side of a triangle in a circle, but that still didn’t mean he could balance a checkbook, or anything that he’d actually find useful. After sitting through that, he faced another hour of literature, and a few other classes, but they’d blurred together so much that he’d hardly noticed the subjects, much less the class’s content. After checking his schedule again, he found that it was time for his lunch period. Well, he’d decided against getting food immediately. Dave was no stranger to the horror tales of high school food, and the smell coming from the cafeteria was enough to make any vampire turn away in disgust.

Instead, Dave roamed around the building, walking past a few doors until he stopped. He couldn’t explain it, but something inside one of the doors smelled… familiar. And yet, he didn’t smell anything, but he felt like he could sense it. The aroma, of sorts, was good and clean and made him happy, and Dave knew if he followed it, he’d find something he liked. First, Dave registered that the room was the library, and looked around the large until he saw a flash of blue at the edge of the library aisle. Dave immediately walked towards it, only to find the king of the nerds shelving books.

“Psst, Sir Egnerd!” Dave whisper shouted, causing John to look up, startled. He broke into a grin when he realized that it was Dave calling him, and immediately walked over to his friend.

“Hello Mr. Strider.” John responded, also lowering his voice to a whisper shout. Dave legitimately smiled at that- he liked being a ‘Mr.’ Maybe a sire would suit him more- then he immediately scrapped the idea. Mr. was good enough for him.  “Is this your lunch period?” John asked, his voice normal now.

“The schedule says so, but I’d probably stay here even if it wasn’t.” John raised an eyebrow at this.

“What? Why?” He asked, and Dave immediately responded.

“Duh, Egdork, because-” A loud cough interrupted the two.

“John, while I am thankful for your offer of help, I would warn you that the cafeteria is best suited for social interaction.” John froze. He’d never been in trouble with an adult before, and Dave could feel his panic.

“Can I help?” He’d asked immediately, and the librarian arched an eyebrow at him.

“I don’t believe we’ve met.” She said, and immediately turned to once over the boy. Dave snorted and rolled his eyes behind his glasses at this.

“You know everyone in the school?” He asked, a little sarcasm in his tone. The woman responded immediately, her lips pressed into a thin line.

“Yes. I do, along with every penny they’ve ever owed the library.” She responded immediately, and Dave, all stoic and sarcastic now, tried not to show how creepy that statement was.

“It’s Dave Strider. I’m new here.” He responded, putting his hand forward. The woman’s eyes opened in surprise, then she immediately went back to her usual, old librarian façade.

“Porrim Maryam, it’s a pleasure.” She responded, then placed her hand in his. Immediately, a cold shock ran through both of their bodies. The librarian looked shocked again. After a second, she turned back to normal, and stared between Dave and John. She looked oddly…protective, and suspicious. “I- thank you for the offer. Your help is most appreciated.” She responded, then returned to re shelve some books elsewhere. John looked at the older woman and Dave in confusion. Dave stood there for a second, like he’d seen a ghost, then immediately went back into friendly neighborhood douche mode.

The two shelved books for the majority of the class period, and talked casually as they did so. For John, it was more exciting with another person, even after Dave dropped a book on John’s hand. He was fine, but they tried to be a little more careful, and John had to limit his giggling. Towards the end of the period, Mrs. Maryam left the library. With the librarian out of earshot, John felt the urge to ask his friend a question, but he looked so tense. Dave looked over at his friend, then sighed.

“Egbert, is something wrong?” Dave asked, only to be met with a John who wouldn’t meet his eyes. Dave didn’t know why John was so suddenly anxious, but he’d invited him to get whatever was wrong off his mind.

“I- I just have a question.” John said, stuttering a little through his buck teeth. Dave had to suppress an aww at the admission, and instead spoke to his friend.

“Sup, Egbert?” He asked again, and John responded.

“Do you like…know Ms. Maryam? She never acts like that around anyone.” He asked, and Dave wanted to respond in the negative, but a bell rang. John squeaked, and immediately put the book he was holding down, then ran over to his backpack. “Wait, tell me later, gotta get to class!” John said, and he started to speed walk towards his next room. Weird. Dave would ask what was going on later, but for now, he had an old librarian appear in front of him out of nowhere.

“Dave Strider. May I speak with you, in the back?” Dave bit back a groan. Why did every conversation he had with an adult have to be forced? The request was, yet again, not a request. The woman just started walking towards a closed room, and reluctantly, Dave followed behind her.  

 


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> quick note: I'm not using this little area for the notes, that's a little too much work for me since I'm copying this train wreck from a google doc. Good luck with my freshman year spelling.

JAFNF Chapter 7

(Thursday, August5 th  )

Dave looked around the library’s meeting room apprehensively. His sunglasses kept his eyes hidden, so he was free to look anywhere but at the woman in front of him. The room originally designed for teacher- principle/ department meetings had a few prepared foods atop a long, dark wooded table. The area had multiple seats, and a smart board sat at the front of the room. As Ms. Maryam closed the door behind him, Dave only considered now that he could have- and, for his health and safety, probably SHOULD have said no, but now he was stuck here. The librarian looked to be about 60 years old, but her dark, black lipstick and well-kept hair suggested that she really valued appearances, in a way that made her seem much older.

“Now, Mr. Strider,” She started, and Dave started to feel uneasy. She had suspicion in her tone, and her eyes glinted with a strange light. “Forgive me for the oddity of my request, but I assure you that it is quite valid.” Dave frowned at this. Now he felt like he definitely needed to depart, and now. “Could you open your mouth for me?” she asked, and Dave nervously complied.

The woman made a sound of discomfort, but continued her questioning. “Wider.” She said, and Dave didn’t know what to do. If he opened his mouth any more, he was afraid she’d see his budding teeth- but this woman didn’t seem like a hunter. She didn’t have the steely confidence, the extra spark of iron and holy water in her blood, and other easy tells that Dave was trained to search for. Even so, her line of questioning was incredibly invasive, and after feeling his pocket to confirm that yes, his emergency dagger was still there, he was about to do so, but he stopped.

“Wait, why?” The librarian shook her head, a little embarrassed at the situation.

“I’m afraid I can’t tell you until I confirm my suspicions. I’ll sound insane if I’m wrong.” Dave’s frown only stayed on his face at that.

“I’m sorry Ms, but bringing me into this back room, then acting like you’re a dentist- well, I hate to break it to you, but you already sound a little loopy.” He responded automatically, hoping the woman would yell at him or something so that he could sit through her lecture, then leave. Instead, the woman just smiled.

“I won’t be baited, Mr. Strider. Please, be assured that I only have the best interests of my students at heart- and that includes you. Now, if you will please, open your mouth.” Dave fought back a panicked groan and opened his mouth, wide. The woman examined his teeth for a minute without comment, then stepped back, relief in her tone.

“Good, I was right.” She said, and before Dave could question it, she turned off the room’s lights in one fluid motion, and Dave freaked out. Immediately, he started generating light, like most vampires did in the dark, and the woman turned on the lights again. Dave wanted to leave, tell Dirk, and move wherever they could immediately, but the woman put a hand on his shoulder and offered him a kind smile. “Don’t be afraid, Dave.” She said, and he noticed her mouth. There, she had two partially grown fangs sitting on either side of her lips, and Dave knew that his life was about to get a lot more complicated.

John ran to his next class, hoping that he wouldn’t be late. Still, that wasn’t the only thing that drove him to arrive so quickly. Karkat and Caliborn had a habit of finding him in the back hallways where he usually travelled, then ‘accidentally’ tripping him in the hallway, and laughing as he was late to class. John thankfully got to his room safely, and as the teacher began the lesson he already knew, John pulled out his smart phone. He finally decided to respond to those messages, and after scrolling through several hundred words, most of them being overly creative swears, John reached the text button.

EctoBiologist (EB) Began pestering CarcinoGeneticist (CG)

EB: Not to interrupt your ranting, or anything, but uh…

EB: Who is this?

EB: Actually, if you’re one of Rocky, or Roxy or whatever’s troll friends, I don’t really want to know

The response came almost immediately.

CG: WHO’S ROCKY?

CG: ASSUMING YOU’RE NOT SPEAKING OF THE SPORTS MOVIE CLASSIC.

John breathed a sigh of relief. Then of course, the tension came back.

EB: Wait, who are you?

CG: A FRIEND

EB: Of who? Dave, Jade or Rose?

EB: I don’t give out my pesterchum at school.

CG: IS DAVE THE NEW KID’S NAME AT SCHOOL

CG: THE ONE WITH THE SUNGLASSES?

EB: Yes.

EB: So you do go to school with me?

EB: How did you get my pesterchum?

Maybe there was a pester chum update, where people could find each other’s handles. That was the only possible way to explain why so many complete strangers found him, and so recently, unless the stranger was forthcoming with an explanation.

CG: WERE YOU WITH HIM YESTERDAY?

Of course not. Actually, John kind of expected this. He responded immediately.

EB: Why do you need to know?

CG: BECAUSE FUCKASS, I HEARD HE WAS WITH YOU.

EB: Well, you heard correctly. Actually, who are you?

CG: …KARKAT.

CG: I’LL TALK TO DAVE.

CG: BYE.

CarcinoGeneticist (CG) ceased pestestering Ecto Biologist (EB).

The words responded, and John immediately frowned with distaste. So this was the person talking to him, acting as if nothing was wrong, and as if he wasn’t the bane of John’s existence since third grade. John still didn’t know how he’d received his pester chum, but he knew he was glad the conversation was over. John actually didn’t hate Karkat before. To the contrary, they were close friends in elementary school. Of course, since the boy stole something, then blamed it on a then eight year old John, their friendship rifted immediately. After hearing, (from Karkat) that John stole candy from the teacher’s desk, she immediately punished the blue eyed boy without stopping to consider the other boy’s part in all of this. The woman was usually more considerate, but his third grade teacher knew of Karkat’s father’s position as the popular head of their church, as well as a televised preacher/ motivational speaker, so she immediately believed the boy could do no wrong.

Since then, Karkat used his father’s line of work (and childlike naive appearances) to find his way out of multiple situations. After coming to middle school, a boy, Caliborn, who’s intentions were even more morally unjust, started hanging out with Karkat. Since their friendship’s start, Karkat had been acting more and more- well, evil, and both decided to take out their actions on John. Now that the boys were in high school, what once was just mean pranks and minor annoyances blossomed into full out bullying, and John did nothing to stop him. There was no trusted adult to talk to in his life, or whatever they said at those somewhat useless school anti bullying assemblies, so John was an easy target for them.

John immediately locked his phone. He didn’t block Karkat, because he’d probably end up talking to the boy again. The boy noticed that the students in front of him passed aback a worksheet, and when they got to his position at the end of the row, they dropped his papers on the floor, causing him to get up and bring them back. He hated school. John let out a sigh as he started to complete his work.

“What?” Dave asked, his voice raising in exclamation and shock. “You’re a…” He trailed off, and the vampire filled in for him.

“Yes, I’m a vampire. My birth name was Dolorosa, and I am one of the few purebloods left in this world.”

“Me too.” Dave admitted instantly, and then looked away, mentally kicking himself for revealing that he was a pureblood. He wasn’t supposed to be running around, telling every random woman with fangs in her mouth about his blood. Still, he knew he could trust her- and the image of her murdering him didn’t come to mind immediately, so she couldn’t be that bad. Thankfully, Dolorosa didn’t even look surprised.

“Hm, interesting. You’re one of the first purebloods that’s not a part of my lineage, so I suppose the idea that we haven’t met isn’t completely foreign. Still, this is an odd turn of events. The idea that most of us live within the same country and the same state is quite extraordinary.” She said, and Dave couldn’t do anything but nod in agreement. That was pretty strange.

“So… what’s your deal? Are you just saying hi to another pureblood, or are you part of a council, or…” Dave’s sentence trailed off, and the librarian smirked.

“Actually, I’m not. I’m… more of like an offshoot of a council, if you will. I enjoy helping supernaturals of any kind, specifically those targeted by hunters. Actually, in my younger days, I hunted hunters… but it’s been ages since then. Now, I prefer to help supernaturals that are being hunted, or don’t yet understand how to control their urges. I help them stay undetected by hunters, and hopefully, live normal lives, or hide their secret from their families. I inform, I teach, and I share. Most importantly, I help supernaturals understand how to blend into normal society.” Dave’s eyebrows creased together in surprise.

“Wait, you said you-” But the woman cut him off.

“I’m not finished yet.” She broke in, and Dave swallowed in silence. Immediately her tone turned pleasant again. “Now, David. I’m sure that you have a multitude of questions, and they’ll be answered in due time, but know this. I like to help supernaturals, but I know that you’re at risk more than most. There is a hunter at this school, and they suspect that you are a pureblood. I’m sure that this isn’t new information, but killing a pureblood is considered a fantastic feat for any hunter, and they would, well, kill to kill you. It earns them respect within the hunting community, and once they realize you’re a pureblood, you can be certain that they’ll attempt to kill you.” The woman paused, and tried to gauge his reaction, but through his sunglasses, it was somewhat difficult for the woman to tell that he was panicking as much as he actually was. Dave looked down. His thoughts immediately went to the hunter that found John. The one he… hadn’t told his brother about.

“How did the hunter find me?” He questioned, and sighed. “We just moved here to run away from hunters, and try to be normal. How did they figure it out so quickly?” Dave said, and despite the fact that his voice sounded wounded and morose, Dave made no attempt to change it, because it was true. He was scared, and he was sad, and he was worried. All he really wanted was to be normal, and not worry about hunters, or be constantly on the run. Dave He hated that. Dolorosa rebutted with a sympathetic look before responding.

“Honestly, I knew you were a vampire, and a special one at that, the minute I saw you. I’m sure hunters found out just as easily with their devices.” She stole a look at the clock, and sighed. “I wish we had more time to discuss all of this, but we don’t. For now, listen to this. Be careful with both teachers and students, either could be hunters.” Dave desperately wanted to break in, but the woman stopped him once again. Her voice took on a tone of frustration, and anger. “I know that I’m out of my hunting days, but it’s high time that the world stops being so dangerous for hunters. So, I propose that I give you the assistance I offer most vampires. I would like to instruct you on how to turn down your fangs, and turn off your natural luminescence, among other things.  I’ll help you blend in, and if you do things correctly, hunters will never notice you again. You said “we”, so I assume you have a guardian of some sort?” Dave nodded. That was Bro. “Well, your guardian likely isn’t another vampire, and clearly not another pureblood, otherwise you would know this before you were sent out into the public. Regardless, you need to know this immediately, or it won’t matter where you run, or hide from hunters. They will find you without my instruction.” Dave swallowed at her words.

“You’ll show me how to blend in, so hunters don’t find me?” Dave  asked, his voice hopeful. “You’ll help me be normal.” He added, feeling something stir in his chest. There would be no more moving around on the run. He’d live in a house, and be friends with John, and he wouldn’t worry as much about being a vampire, and get to focus on just being Dave for a while. It sounded too good to be true, but Dolorosa simply nodded.

“I am here to help you. All you need to do is accept.” Dave wanted to nod eagerly, but he stopped himself.

“I need to tell my brother about this first.” He decided, and the Dolorosa nodded in acceptance of his terms. He should have told Dirk about the hunter as soon as he found out about her, and now he didn’t have any room to fuck around, especially considering how urgent the Dolorosa sounded that he learns to control his abilities. Dolorosa’s lips stretched, and they almost seemed like a smile.

“Come to me when you are ready. I’ll help you throw the hunters off of your trail, but you must do what I say.” Dave nodded in acceptance of the terms.

“Alright, I’ll let him know today.” Dave said, and The Dolorosa sighed. She began to open the door as the bell for 6 th  period chimed.

“Now, thank you for meeting with me about your school number, Mr. Strider. I’ll see that the issues are taken care of swiftly.” She said, and Dave immediately understood. That conversation was private, and he needed to pretend it was about school, in case any curious listeners came in. Dave reattached his usual stoic expression and left the room behind her.

“Thank you, Ms. Maryam.” He responded, and as she wrote him a pass to class, she watched him go with a determined expression on her face. Her mind wandered back to the days when she’d attack hunters, when she was young, like him. She hated hunters, and had a plan to get rid of them without exposing herself, and it would definitely begin with Dave.

AN: Hey! Okay, I’ve kind of started to free lance this story a little. I really enjoy adding in new ideas and plot points, so forgive me if it doesn’t follow exactly the same plot line as Saltymastermemesters does. Still, it was definitely her idea, and a lot of the story’s items will still revolve around the chapter’s she’s written, just more…different. Also, any guesses on who the hunter is (besides roxy?) Let me know in the comments!!


	8. Chapter 8

JAFNF Chapter 8

(Thursday,August 5 th )

Dirk took the news remarkably well, considering that his brother told him that all of his efforts to protect his brother were going down the drain, including meeting with that council. Still, he demanded to see the woman that said she’d help his younger brother, and that was how the two Striders stood in front of a breeding cesspool of anxiety and teen aggression, also known as Dave’s high school. Dave walked inside, his brother following after him. Both looked tense, and when they walked towards the library, they found that the establishment was open. Dirk walked inside, and Dolorosa was present.

“Bro, this is Ms. Maryam. Ms Maryam, this is my older brother.” Dave introduced the two, and after verifying that they were alone, She flashed them a small, concise, and sharp toothed smile.

“I am Dolorosa, Maryam just my undercover name. It is a pleasure to meet you.” Dirk responded formally, without any of his usual sarcasm.

“The pleasure is all mine, Ms. Dolorosa.” Dirk responded, and he looked around the empty library. “So, are we going to meet about Dave in here, or what?” He questioned, and Dolorosa ushered them into the back room form earlier, then closed the door.

“Now, I’ll keep this short. I believe that a hunter will begin to target you soon, if they haven’t already, because they suspect that you’re a pureblood. I don’t know how accurate they think they are, but I know that there’s a hunter in the school. If Dave doesn’t learn how to mask his presence, it won’t matter where you two move- you’ll be found.” The woman let the words sink in, and Dirk stayed silent. “I can help Dave with this- I’ve known that a few hunters have come through, posed as students or teachers, and left, because they haven’t found what they’re looking for- me. Now, however, their target is different. They know there’s a pureblood here, even though there are two, and they will find you.” Dirk finally spoke up, and Dolorosa let him talk.

“How?” Dirk asked, and Dolorosa sighed.

“Have you heard of the term blood signature?” Dave looked to Dirk, who promptly shook his head. She rolled her eyes. “Hmph. And councils think they’re helping vampires, how pitiful. A blood signature is what distinguishes every living being from another. Humans, hunters, and Supernaturals all have them. They show everything about a person, if you know how to read them. By looking at Dave’s, one could tell that he’s a pureblood, just like how one can tell that you’re a-” she paused and touched his shoulder. “Human by reading yours.” Dirk nodded.

“So, hunters just read blood signatures, and know what everyone is?” Dave asked, and Dolorosa nodded.

“Yes. They can be used to track supernaturals as well, and a variety of species can read blood signatures naturally. This doesn’t include humans, but hunters can because they use special machines to locate blood signatures. As I demonstrated, vampires can read blood signatures naturally. In addition, blood signatures can be tampered with. One could disguise themselves as something else with a blood signature, or even disguise it completely.” Dirk nodded.

“Huh, cool. So, what are you doing with Dave?” Dirk questioned, and Dolorosa smirked.

“Teaching him how to rid himself of his blood signature, so hunters can’t track him. Usually, I’ll only teach a supernatural how disguise a signature as human, but desperate times call for desperate measures.” She noted, and Dirk frowned.

“Desperate times?” Dolorosa coughed.

“Dave is a pureblood. He’s automatically a better prize for a hunter than any other, and now that he’s come to this school, I’m certain that whichever hunter is in this area will begin to target him, if they haven’t already. It’s rather easy to notice that Dave’s a pureblood, and I’m sure they’ll know by now.” She said, and Dave looked down.

“They know.” He hadn’t meant to say it out loud, but Dirk’s eyes widened.

“What? How do you know?” Guilt surged through Dave, and he was a little scared as well. However, he couldn’t lie about this, and so, he kept his sunglasses covered gaze to the floor.

“A hunter told John not to talk to me.” He mumbled, and Dirk looked horrified.

“What? When the fuck did you learn that?” Dave sighed.

“On the way to see the council.” He responded, and Dirk grabbed his shoulder, and almost yelled.

“What the hell, Dave? When were you going to tell me? That’s fucking serious, you ass!” He announced, and Dave crossed his arms.

“I didn’t tell you because I knew you’d make us move! I don’t want to keep moving around and running from hunters, bro! It’s not fair, and now that I’ve met Dolorosa, we won’t have to worry about it!” Dirk glared.

“You met her yesterday. You had no plan the time before that, and you should have told me immediately, dumbass! I don’t know why you don’t understand that I’m fucking trying to-” He cut himself off, remembering the vampire in the room. “We’ll talk about it later. What do we need to do to deal with this?” He asked, and Dolorosa took a deep breath.

“Dave, this is more serious than I thought. At least one hunter is already suspicious that you’re a pureblood. Or, they think that John’s one. Either way, you should have told me, we’ll have to do more than just disguise, or hide your signature. Once a hunter knows, they could be gathering endless forces from across the country to stop you. And if your fangs are naturally that small, you clearly haven’t received the abilities you’ll get as you mature to make you powerful. You’re in grave danger.” Dave looked up in alarm.

“So when will they attack?” He asked, and she shook her head.

“I haven’t a clue.” Dirk broke in.

“You said they contacted John?” A pit fell in Dave’s stomach as he nodded. “They probably don’t know if you’re the vampire or John. You spent time with him, right? And if the only time they’re tracking you is at school…”

“Then we still have time.” Dolorosa concluded, and placed a hand on her chin in thought. “Hunters won’t move until they’re certain that they know who the vampire is. We still have time.” Dave swallowed.

“Time for what?” He asked, and Dolorosa put a hand on her head.

“Here’s my plan.” She said, and sighed. “We disable them, permanantly.” She said, and Dirk looked surprised.

“Hunters? You don’t think they’ll be too tough to beat? I mean, I’ve taught Dave almost everything I know with a sword, but hunters are insane, and skilled. I’m not sure if the three of us could beat them, especially if there’s more than one.” Dirk commented, and Dolorosa sighed.

“We can, with some help. I’ll call in a friend, we can figure some things out. First though, don’t let them know it’s you, that’s likely the only thing that is allotting you time. Just know that being around John puts him in danger of a hunter attacking him.” She noted, and Dave squeezed his hands together. He was putting John in danger by existing.  

“So what should Dave do now?” Dirk questioned, and Dolorosa answered.

“Dave’s role is simply to do what he came to school to do- learn. He needs to know how to disguise his fangs. They are small now, but they will grow out, and eventually he’ll need to hide them or have them out all of the time.” Dolorosa responded. “However, that’s a slightly longer term goal. For now, the most important thing to learn is how to disguise your blood signature.” She paused. “Any questions?” Dirk spoke up.

“One. Where can I find those machines you said hunters use to find blood signatures?” Dirk asked, and Dolorosa sighed.

“You can’t. I’m afraid that only the hunter’s highest level leaders give those out. I wouldn’t know where to find them.” Dirk frowned, but he was satisfied with his answer. Dave spoke up.

“I have one.” Dolorosa nodded at him. “Why did you decide to help me?” He asked, and a shadow seemed to pass over Dolorosa’s face.

“I’m helping you for the same reason that I try to help every other supernatural. Hunters are filthy murderers who kill those that never got the chance to learn what to do. They don’t care that supernaturals are people that have often been taken advantage of by others. If they wanted to stop the forced vampire conversions, they’d teach vampires what to do to control their urges, not kill them. Often, they’ll target a supernatural before they’ve even come near a human, or they’ll kill without giving the converted time to understand how to control themselves. It’s like killing children that know nothing. It’s wrong, and they’re evil. It’s sickening.” She announced. Dave frowned, and Dirk nodded along to her words.”

“How often do you save Supernaturals?” Dirk asked, and Dolorosa smiled a little, clearly remembering something nice.

“Oh, I’ve saved more than one vampire from a hunter or two in my time, because I like protecting the innocent. I have a few people that I’m helping as well as you; it’s a bit of a hobby. Just know that you can always come to me if it’s a question about the supernatural side of your life, alright?” She asked, and both Dave and Dirk nodded. Evidently, they were done asking questions, so the older woman reached to open the door. Immediately, her voice became her usual, cold one.

“Thanks, Ms. Maryam.” Dave said, and Dolorosa regarded him coldly.

“Of course. If you have any questions, I trust that you know who and where to call. Good day.” She said, and as they left the room, she walked towards the library check out desk. Dave sighed as he left, and Dirk looked at Dave.

“We’ll talk about your punishment in the car.” He said, and looked at him. “And you better be glad that woman’s there.” Dave sighed and looked straight ahead, his jaw tightening. He pushed open the door to the library area in lieu of a response, and Dirk followed him silently. As they walked towards the exit, Dave noticed his biology teacher walking down the hallway. The vampire hoped he wouldn’t notice him, but of course, he did so anyway.

“Oh, Dave!” The man said, and Dave let out a quiet groan. His older brother looked at the man curiously, and Dave wanted to disappear as the man with glasses walked towards them. “Well, top of the evening! It’s so nice to see you! Oh, and you must be-”

“I’m Dirk, his older brother.”

“Golly, I don’t believe we’ve met. I’m Jake English, Dave’s Biology teacher.” As soon as the man said those words, Dave muttered the first excuse he could think of (he thought he said the bathroom, but wasn’t sure) and got out of there. He knew that the teacher would tell his brother about his lack of educational progress, or something along those lines, which would only add to his growing punishment. As Dave sprinted away from them, the two adults spoke. However, before they could talk, the teacher dropped the items he carried- probably around 20 pens, all over the floor. Dirk immediately dove to help clean the spilled pens, and once a few were off of the ground, Dirk began to speak.

“We haven’t met. Well, not until now.” Came Dirk’s response, and the sunny smile the teacher gave him made his eyebrows lift in interest as he spoke.

“Well, It’s a pleasure to meet you. Thanks for that, by the way. Oh, and I actually just sent you an email, but I suppose it’s a stroke of good luck that I’ve seen you!” He said, and Dirk smirked. He found himself forgetting about Dave’s misconduct immediately, and casually placed a hand on his hip as he began to speak.

“I’m sure it is. What was the email about?”

“It was about Dave. I realized that you two have missed both of the open houses, and I think I remember someone saying that Dave’s never attended public school. I was hoping we could have some sort of parent-teacher conference, and I could give him a run-through of the basics, then offer a check up of his progress.” He said, and Dirk contemplated the idea.

“Sure, when do you want to have it?” Dirk asked, and Jake answered immediately.

“As soon as possible, if we can. Would you be open before or after school tomorrow?” His words surprised Dirk. He seemed eager.

“Sure. What time do I need to get here? Oh, and does Dave have to come too?”

“Not if he doesn’t want to, we usually have these between the parent and teacher anyway. But if you can be here at seven thirty, we can finish before school starts.”

“Alright then, I’ll be here tomorrow. Thanks.” Dirk said, and the man smiled again.

“Jolly good then, I’ll be there too. I’m in room 320, right at the end of this hallway. Well, cheerio then mate, I look forward to seeing you tomorrow.” Dirk wanted to snort at the use of the word, but just offered him a goodbye. Dave came out of the bathroom immediately, and Dirk’s thoughts lingered on the teacher he’d just met. Even as he took Dave to the car, he made no mention of punishment, and Dave was confused, but didn’t remind him.While he wondered what his biology teacher said to make Dirk so distracted, Dirk knew. He couldn’t wait for that parent teacher meeting.

_______________________________-

(Friday August 6 th )

The next morning, Dirk woke up at his usual time, then remembered he had that conference to go to as well. He had to get ready faster this morning, and told Dave to do the same. Somehow, he got his hair styled in time and threw his sunglasses on. He left the house with Dave in tow, and told him to go wait somewhere until his school started. Dave didn’t care either way, and used it as an opportunity to text a few friends.

Dirk looked around the school. There weren’t many people there yet, but that didn’t deter him. He searched for the hallway from the day before, and walked down it. Eventually, he located room 320, and saw it was slightly ajar. He knocked anyway and heard the teacher’s voice.

“Oh, come in! I’ve just gotten the slideshow set up, you can take a seat anywhere.” He said, and Dirk walked in. It reminded him a lot of his own high school, when he was younger. Dirk took a random seat near the front, and found himself looking up at the teacher’s desk. He had a PowerPoint.

“Thanks. So, what does Dave need to know for school?” Dirk asked, and Jake advanced the slideshow.

“I’m glad you asked, mate! Well, here’s a list of materials. You might want to take a snap of them, so Dave remembers. I would recommend having a separate binder for this class than from his others. We tend to have a lot of handouts. He’ll get homework, and should turn it in to me the day I tell him to. It would be a good idea to study- which reminds me, does he have his textbooks?” Jake asked, and Dirk responded.

“No, he doesn’t. Can he still get them?”

“He can. Actually, the textbook room is open now. I don’t know if his other teachers have given him a list of necessary text books, but I can pull up a copy of his schedule and let him know what he may need. Actually, I’ll do that now- the line gets quite beastly.” He said, and wordlessly moved to his computer. Immediately, he had Dave’s entire schedule at his disposal and looked through it. He wrote down a list of textbooks he’d need, and handed it to Dirk. “Is Dave in the school right now?”

“He is. Can I just text this list to him? I’ll tell him to go get textbooks.”

“That would be lovely.” Dirk looked down at it for a second, then looked up. “Alright, done.” Jake blinked.

“Really? How- what did you do?” Dirk tapped the side of his glasses, and they flashed orange.

“It’s the glasses, they’re kind of like a smart watch.” Dirk said, and Jake’s eyes widened.

“That’s a jolly cool contraption. I’ve never seen something like that!”

“I made them, actually. They’re not on the market, but they are patented.” Dirk smirked when he realized the man was impressed.

“Wow, you did a bang up job with those, they’re bloody cool. “Jake said, and Dirk shook his head.

“I’ve done better, this is a model from when I was fifteen. Why, are you interested in the field?”

“Oh no, I’m clearly no expert like you. I tried making some robotic rabbit thing when I was younger, but I couldn’t procure a proper power source. I’m afraid that I’m no robotics engineer.”

“Actually, I’m not one either, at least officially. I just do this sort of thing in my free time. I DJ at a nightclub, but I just kind of do the things I enjoy. I could pick up a career, but Dave’s already fine if he wants to go to college, and I would prefer to set my own deadlines.” Dirk said, and Jake wanted to delve farther in conversation with this interesting man, but he realized he needed to get the meeting back on topic.

“That’s bloody cool. Oh, but I’ve let the time get away from me again, I needed to finish talking about Dave! I have a syllabus for him, and I should start giving out homework this weekend. Please tell him I grade in red pen.”

“Right, sorry. But, why is that important? Purely asking out of curiosity, of course.” Dirk said, and Jake emitted a sigh.

“He seems to have an affinity for writing in red pen as well, but students are only supposed to use black pens or pencils. I know it’s, ah, unpleasant to change colors, but if he doesn’t I’ll probably have to, so just let him know about that.” Jake said. “Any questions?”

“Yeah, how was he in class, for his first day?” Jake smiled. Despite the fact that frankly, he’d been rude, he remembered something far more positive.

“Well, he befriended this boy, John Egbert. I don’t know how, because he’s extremely quiet, but he got him to open up. It was nice. That said, he did spend the majority of the class period passing notes. I didn’t even think that kids did that anymore, with their cell phones.” Dirk let out a snort.

“Passing notes in class? Wow, that’s cliché. I’ll talk to him about it, but he was doing it for irony’s sake, I’m sure. Still, I’ll let him know it’s not a good idea, but I’m not entirely sure if he’ll stop. Striders tend to be a pain.” He said, and Jake blinked.

“You’re definitely not a pain, chum. I’ve enjoyed talking to you, and I believe anyone that could help John open up has to be a lovely person. Really, Dave is fine, he’d just not used to class.” Dirk smirked.

“Well, I don’t know if the words ‘lovely person’ would describe my younger brother, but I’ve enjoyed talking to you too. We should talk more.” Dirk said, but cursed himself internally. That was phrased in an odd way, and he didn’t want to sound like a wimp who couldn’t ask a guy out. In all seriousness, the teacher was good looking, even with his strange accent. Dirk had found himself thinking about the teacher the night before, and surprisingly looked forward to seeing him today. He liked talking to this ‘Jake English’, and considered him to be a likable guy.

“I would like that, Mr. Strider.” Jake said, and Dirk felt a smirk settle on his face as his eyebrows lifted in pleasant surprise. “For, erm, another discussion.” He looked nervous, and a little awkward.

“I’m free tonight at eight, if you’re interested?” Dirk said, and Jake smiled, his face flushing. Dirk could tell that his heart rate sped up.

“I am. Wait, you should have my phone number. You can give me a ring with the details.”

“Sounds like a plan, English. You can just say the number.” Dirk said, and Jake blinked, but spoke the numbers aloud. Dirk tapped his glasses again. Seconds later, the teacher felt his phone buzz in his pocket. “That’s me.” He said, and Jake’s eyes widened in surprise.

“Alright then, I’ll shoot you a text. Thanks for coming to this meeting, and I wish Dave the best in school.” The green eyed teacher put his hand out for a shake, and Dirk stood.

“Thanks for doing this, none of his other teachers did.” Dirk said, and took the hand. Instead of shaking it, he pulled the knuckles up to his lips and kissed them lightly, then let his hand go. Dirk walked out. “And see you tonight!” He added, and in an instant, he was gone. Jake played over the last few seconds in his head, then felt his face flush. He practically fell back down into his chair, and shook his head. He couldn’t wait.

_________________________

(Friday Augudt 6 th )

On Friday, when Dave walked into his 7 th  period again, John was sure that he was getting used to seeing his best friend in real life. It was exhilarating- the idea that Dave was there, 100% irony in the flesh, and he actually seemed to be paying a lot more attention in school. When Dave agreed to a study session with John, he realized that they’d actually study, and John wanted to see if it was more fun that way. Dave mentioned a class he went to after school, on varying days of the week, and luckily it wouldn’t take place that Friday. While John was excited to study with someone else for the first time, he also felt a substantial amount of worry set in too. This session wouldn’t take place at Dave’s cool home. Instead, it would be at John’s house, which meant that he had to get past Karkat and Caliborn if he wanted to get home.

When the final bell rang, Dave stood in front of him, hefting a significantly heavier backpack than before.

“That’s the bell, Egdork. Ready to go?” He asked, waiting, yet again for him to stuff his papers in his bag. The biology stood at the front of the class, looking at Dave nervously. John, unknown to either of them, mirrored his expression. Dave felt the discomfort of both people in the room, but John immediately responded.

“Y-Yeah! I’m ready, let’s go!” John said, stuttering a little. He pulled his backpack over his back, and stood at attention. Dave wanted to ruffle his hair, badly, but he restrained himself.

“Lead the way, your majesty.” Dave said, oozing Irony into his words. John joined the playful banter by pretending he had a tophat, then removing the imaginary garment from his head with an over exaggerated bow.

“But of course, Mr. Strider.” He responded jovially, and John missed the tinge of red that sprinkled across Dave’s cheeks. “Bye Mr. English! Have a good weekend!” He said enthusiastically to the teacher, and Dave followed suit.

“Bye English. Have a good night.” Dave said curtly, still a little upset over the probable content of his brother’s conversation. He’d received a well deserved punishment from his sibling, but oh well. Dave turned and followed John, and an embarrassed warm spot spread across the teacher’s face, and he could barely manage a reply.

“You…too.” He said, and both John and Dave left.

AN:WHAT DO YOU MEAN A JOHNDAVE STORY WITHOUT A DIRKJAKE CAMEO? NONEXISTANT OBVIOUSLY.


	9. Chapter 9

JAFNF Chapter 9

(Friday, August 6th)

John looked around nervously as he led his friend down the street. He’d invited Dave over that day. It sounded like a good idea in his head, but he forgot about one major element. He didn’t know how his daily tormentors could have escaped his mind, but they managed to do it anyway. Apparently, Dave’s newfound presence in his life made him forgetful of things that had been happening since sixth grade. He felt himself drawing near to where Karkat and Caliborn usually met him, and felt himself get nervous. So, he spouted out apologies.

“I usually walk home. I’m sorry about the lack of a car, I just forgot that I should bring mom’s today and-”

“Egbert.” Dave interrupted, causing John to stop speaking. He laughed a little. “It’s fine. Let’s just go so we can start this Friday night study session.” Dave responded, and John looked a little embarrassed.

“Right. Well, this way, you turn left here.” John said, and Dave complied with the directions. “So, once we’re done studying, I was wondering if we could do something else.” John asked shyly, and Dave felt like he’d stopped breathing for a second. Ten scenarios popped into his head at the same time, and none of them could be featured scenes in a children’s movie.

“What?” He asked, and John rolled his eyes.

“I said, I was hoping I could finally get you to watch Con Air.” Dave openly laughed.

“Of course. Yeah, I’ll watch your movie, only if it’s so you don’t have to keep asking me to watch it.” Dave said, and John perked up immediately. He punched a fist towards the sky in triumph, and felt great about everything.

John reached the alleyway where he usually found Karkat  and Caliborn, and he continued walking in front of Dave. There, he found both boys in their usual spots, and he sighed. He really didn’t want Dave to witness this, but maybe with the boy’s presence, Caliborn wouldn’t initiate any violence.

“John Egbert.” Caliborn started, sitting against a crate or something. John knew Dave wasn’t in eyesight yet, but he still felt his usual unease.

“You know, it really upset us that you weren’t here yesterday.” Karkat finished for the boy. Immediately, Dave heard the conversation.

“Oh, Shorty! When did this happen?” Dave asked, emerging from behind John. Caliborn looked up in surprise as Dave stood there, and Karkat stopped immediately.

“Dave, you know John?” Karkat asked. Dave, who sat obliviously to the entire situation, nodded.

“Hell yes. Egbert is the best.” Dave responded immediately. “We’re going to John’s house to study, do you guys usually walk home together or something?” Dave asked. The three shared silent stares, and an understanding passed between bully, bystander and victim. None of them wanted Dave getting involved with this, and John’s eyes made it clear that he was helpless in the situation involving Dave’s presence. Eventually, it was Caliborn who broke their three way staring contest and relented. He would play along, so the new kid didn’t get involved. He looked like he could handle himself, and Caliborn wasn’t sure what he would do if he found out that Karkat was one of John’s tormenters.

“Yeah, sometimes I walk through here and their route cuts mine this way, but we usually only stay near each other for a little bit.”John finally spoke up, but his voice shook a little. Dave looked at the three suspiciously now. That change in John’s voice was easy to spot, but Dave found it hard to identify. He decided he’d put it aside for later, and just continue following John.

“Alright, cool. Well, you lead the way, Egbert. Have a good weekend, or whatever you’re supposed to have in high school.” Dave joked, and waved them off. John continued walking, and the two other boys looked towards the retreating forms of John Egbert and Dave Strider. This had to stop. Now.

After a little walking, they finally reached John’s house. Dave could only describe it with the use of the word white. Everything was white, or a shade of white. He felt like the home would benefit from the black outlines of cartoons. Still, the home was huge, and roomy.

“I like your house. It’s cool, and white.” Dave paused. “No, wait. I just mean that I like it, not that being white makes it cool.” Dave said, and John just looked at him with confusion.

“I know what you meant. But uh, thanks. My dad isn’t home, so we can study wherever.” Dave shrugged, so John directed them to his room.

After muddling through a little of the biology- John helped him understand Why Adams, and Atoms were important, the two took a break.

“If you’re hungry, we can order takeout or something. I don’t really know what’s in the fridge.” John said, assuming that nothing but leftovers stayed inside. After all, John usually couldn’t be bothered to restock the refrigerator with normal food, and usually it functioned as more of a holding area for various cakes. His father would bake a multitude of them every time he came home, and John would never know what to do with them, so he left them in the refrigerator. Dave agreed- Friday was the best night for takeout, after all, so the two settled on a pizza. John went with whatever toppings Dave wanted, and produced a ten and a five from his dad’s backup wallet/ gift to John, letting it be a way for him to feed himself when his father left for long periods, like this one.

Eventually, the delivery person appeared at the door. John just handed him the two bills and told him to keep the change, then took his reward pizza with glee. Instead of setting it down in the kitchen, John brought it back up to his room. After a little talking, they brought it to the living room, and John put in con air. As certain parts played, John looked back towards his friend, to see his reaction to the movie. That, of course, was somewhat difficult with the aviator shades he’d bought him, but he still made it seem like he was watching the movie.

In truth, Dave was staring at John more than the Nic Cage movie, but he wasn’t being creepy, he had a reason for it. John’s face was much more expressive than anything the actors said, and as he watched his friend’s face, he realized with a start that he could check number 18 off of his bucket list. After a few more minutes of watching, Dave announced that he needed to find the bathroom. The closest one was in his room, and John gave him actual directions to the room. After finishing, Dave walked into the next room, where he found the sink. The young vampire wanted to wash his hands, but the overwhelming smell of blood and hydrogen peroxide stopped him. Dave looked at the sink, finding no blood, but he knew a lot of it had been there.

He didn’t know how or why, But Dave realized that it belonged to John. John bled here, and Dave could tell that it happened more than once. He had to resist the disgusting, in his opinion, anyway, urge to eat the red substance.  Why had he bled there, and often? Dave’s mind flashed back to John’s face when he first saw him. He looked hostile, and alone. He clearly hadn’t been talking to anyone, and his hood was up. But why? Dave could have pondered it for a while, but he decided against it. Instead, he decided that he’d wash his hands, then question John after the movie.

Eventually, the movie ended, and John out aside the popcorn bowl he’d made somewhere along the way. After surviving the raven-haired boy’s rants about the movie, and telling him exactly why the movie deserved so many more rotten tomatoes than it received, John stopped.

“Dave… is something wrong?” John asked, looking concerned. Dave frowned.

“I..I just saw blood on your sink.” Dave said, even though he just sensed it, and instantly John froze. He then let out an air of false easiness.

“Oh, sorry about that! I thought I cleaned up. I was handling a razor, but then I had an accident and clipped my arm!” John said, his voice at its usual happy tone. If anyone else asked him this question, they would have believed it. Heck, even Dave would have believed it, had it not been for his enhanced blood senses. Dave didn’t join his lighthearted banter.

“Where.” He asked, and John looked startled. He tried to sound as upbeat as usual, but his well made disguise seemed to fall, and quickly.

“On my arm.” John said, his voice slowly falling more flat. He made it clear he didn’t want to talk about it anymore. Dave pressed further.

“Where on your arm, Egbert?” He asked, and John responded irritably now.

“Under my sweatshirt, okay?” He responded, and Dave asked the question that meant their façade was over.

“Can I see?” Dave asked, and John answered the question again, more directly now.

“No. I mean, I’m cold. I don’t want to take it off.” Dave frowned. Dots were slowly connecting in his head, and he didn’t like where they were going.

“Why don’t you take it off in public?” Dave asked.

“Because I’m always cold! Okay? This is Washington, we’re not known for warm weather.” John responded, and looked away from his friend.

“Take off your sweatshirt, Egbert.” Dave said, and John tried to respond, but was interrupted. “It’s not cold. I’m from Texas, and I know the heater is on in here. Now, take it off.” He said, and John grew visibly more upset.

“I don’t want to.” John confessed, and Dave sighed.

“Why not? Are you hiding something?”

“What? Yes! I mean, no, I just don’t want to.” Dave seemed adamant, and John frowned. “Look, you can’t make me take off my sweatshirt.” He noted, and an idea sparked in John’s mind.  His voice turned challenging. “I don’t want to. It’s like your glasses, I just don’t want to take it off.” Dave looked unconvinced, but hesitated. The glasses comment made him think, and John looked at Dave. “Yeah, you don’t want to either. You can expect me tol take off my sweatshirt when you remove your sunglasses.  Got it?” John said, making it clear that the discussion was over. The vampire considered John’s conditions for a minute, then agreed. They were inside and alone anyway.

“Alright, I agree. Two rules- no telling anyone, and no questions, okay?” John looked up in surprise.

“Dave, I don’t want to take my sweatshirt off. Aren’t those sunglasses like, a big deal?”

“So is whatever you’re hiding under that sweat shirt. I’m not comfortable with people seeing my eyes, but it’s worth it if you’ll talk about what’s under there, John. You know I’m not going to judge you for it, and I’m your best friend. Please.” Dave said, and John’s shoulders sagged. He felt embarrassed, and ashamed. He didn’t want Dave to see, but at the same time, he knew he could trust his best friend.  John unclenched fists he didn’t remember making, and avoided Dave’s sunglasses. “Trust me.” Dave added, and John’s eyes searched his face. This was Turntech Godhead, Dave Strider, John’s best friend. Slowly, John nodded. If there was anyone he could trust- it had to be Dave.

“Fine. Just don’t ask any questions, don’t say anything, and don’t tell anyone.” John said, and Dave reluctantly agreed. John removed the cloth from his body, and Dave had to fight the reflexes to close his eyes, and fight and stay hidden- well, they both did. All at once, the shades came off, and the sweatshirt came off, and all either of them knew was that the other’s was ten times better than theirs was.

Red eyes met red scars, and neither could look at the other in the face.

Okay, so I’m ending this one chapter here, because gasp, they know. Wow. It’s 11 pm and I just typed four chapters in 4 hours and frankly I think I need to go now. Good night!


	10. Chapter 10

JAFNF Chapter 10

(Friday August 6th)

Karkat Vantas looked around the church. It was here where he spent most of his time, and the fact annoyed him to no end. His father worked here endlessly, so he was stuck completing his homework here when he wasn’t with Caliborn or at school. Since his childhood, the boy lost his kindhearted reputation. Not that he cared. He had hundreds of more important things to do than waste his time caring about other people’s feelings, or worry about how people took the things that he said. One prime example of the things he needed to deal with was Dave.

He was fairly sure that John wouldn’t tell Dave about all the things they’d done- Caliborn said he was an easy target, and Karkat agreed. Still, he didn’t necessarily care about the way Caliborn used John as fuel, so long as Caliborn didn’t tell his father, the priest, about his… incident. Still, now that Dave was in the picture, it was a necessity that he stayed away from John. Eventually, even if John didn’t tell Dave about his treatment at school, the other student would find out. So, that meant that Karkat needed to befriend him, and quickly, or keep the two away from each other. With an angry sigh, Karkat put down his biology and picked up his phone. Caliborn already gave Karkat Dave’s pesterchum. He didn’t know why, but Caliborn knew a lot of information, and Karkat guessed that he accessed it in some unconventional ways.

Carcino Geneticist (CG) Began Pestering Turntech Godhead (TG).

CG: HI

CG: DAVE?

He typed, but the brunette began to realize that he was offline. Sighing, Karkat decided that he’d wait until Dave came back to text him again. Instead, he focused his efforts into finishing this homework. If he was going to confront Dave again, especially after whatever he was doing with Egbert, it would probably take him a while.

In all honesty, Karkat didn’t dislike John. He heard that the boy shared a passion for movies, and that wasn’t a subject he could ever get into with other people. Still, after ‘befriending’ Caliborn, then even helping him, Karkat knew that he couldn’t be friends with John. Even if John actually wanted to be his friend, (and, if he was in John’s face, he would have hated himself) Karkat knew that he’d hear the reason why they made him miserable in the first place, and that wasn’t an option. In truth, he didn’t like Caliborn. While Karkat could be a douche, the other boy, who literally fed on misery, was, as expected, evil. Karkat didn’t like admitting this, but he was bullied by Caliborn almost as much as John was, but Caliborn wasn’t feeding off of his misery.

Still, Karkat had no one but himself to blame for the loss of his friendship with John. In third grade, he’d been a manipulative jerk, and John was the one who was hurt by it. Sure, he only lied about John once before Caliborn, but without making the efforts to reinstate their friendship, Karkat shared the blame. Of course, the malevolent cherub manipulated Karkat too, but if any one suffered from it, it was John. And that was why he had to break up John and Dave. If he didn’t, Dave would find out that he hurt John, then John would end up knowing about his lack of being- well human, and if he knew that, he’d end up knowing about Caliborn too. Then, Karkat would have no leverage against the boy, Caliborn would reveal his vampiric secret to the church, and hunters would find and kill him. Clearly, Caliborn had no qualms about keeping the supernatural world secret from others. Karkat knew it was because it wouldn’t matter to him. The little, evil cherub was more powerful than any hunter or human, but for Karkat and most supernaturals, it would mean life or death. Probably death. And even if Karkat’s priestly father accepted that he was a vampire, Karkat knew others would hunt him and other supernaturals. Life for every non human would be a living hell of mistrust and death threats.

Eventually, after a few hours of finishing work, Karkat completed what he needed to for the weekend. His father and older brother surfaced shortly afterwards, and Karkat returned home. After leaving for his room, Karkat shut the door and sighed. Dave still hadn’t responded to him.

“Damn it Strider, what the hell are you doing with Egbert that’s so fucking important?” Karkat accidentally said aloud, and receiving no response, because no one else was there, he moved to do something else.

Meanwhile, the two boys on John’s sofa looked at each other in surprise.

“Dave, I-”

“Egbert.” Dave said, his voice sounding a little softer than usual. “No Commentary.” He said, and John looked down. No questions, no commentary, no telling, and no judging. That was their rule, and if Dave would follow it, John would too. Still, he could tell Dave was worried. Eventually, the two pulled out textbooks again- anything to distract them from the realization that they’d just told their best friend their most carefully guarded secret. “We can talk about it when you’re ready.” Dave said finally, and John sighed.

“Okay.” John said, and Dave realized that he just left himself wide open. Whenever John was ready to deal with- this, Dave would have to tell him at least some of the truth. He didn’t know if he could handle however long it was supposed to take for John to talk to him about this, but the two knew each other. Dave knew that John needed help, and John knew that Dave needed to keep his secrets, but this way they could reach a compromise.

They stayed like this for the remainder of the night. John would feel that Dave took second glances at him through the night, and Dave knew that John had questions. The boys moved onto videogames, and while both tried to act as casual as possible, they both were more silent than usual. Still, both felt a little peace, that the other knew. For John, he felt that he was going to explode with the idea that someone knew. Someone knew that he felt alone, and, to put it frankly, depressed enough to do this to himself. That idea scared him. It wasn’t because he was worried that he would tell. His father wouldn’t care. The fear that Dave would leave though- that haunted John. It was the idea that Dave would call him a coward, and call him weak, then walk out of his life because he felt like John was being selfish- John had to stop. He trusted Dave more than that. He was his one of his first friends, and a companion for years. John knew he wouldn’t say those things, rationally, but fear was irrational.

For Dave, the fear didn’t come in the idea that Egbert would leave him, or call him strange. He had no doubt that his friend would stay with him. In a way, it was kind of the opposite. Dave worried that a hunter would find John, then hurt him because he didn’t know or wouldn’t share necessary information about Dave. If John didn’t know about his vampirism, he would be safe. He was already putting John in danger by being a vampire with such a strong blood signature. Hunters clearly didn’t know if John was a vampire, or if it was Dave, and that could change. Plus, if John were to tell a hunter he was a vampire, accidentally or not, it would mean Dave would die. Now, even with this little scrap of information on Dave’s eye color, the hunters would keep him, or worse, hurt him. Dave couldn’t bear the idea that Egbert would be hurt because of him. Dirk wouldn’t let Dave save him, and even if he could, Dave knew it would only result in his death.

After a while, it started to get dark. Dave still didn’t have his bio luminescence under control yet, so he needed to leave. His older brother called him, and while loud noises were in the background, Dave could hear him. He was asking if his brother was home, and when Dave responded negatively, Dirk told him that he needed to return to the house as soon as possible.

“Oh, okay.” John responded. Then he recognized a small issue. “Uh, my dad isn’t home. He can’t drive you back. Does your brother mind if I drive you home?” He asked, and Dave looked at him quizzically.

“No, but it’s pretty late. Does your Dad usually come home super late? I know Dirk doesn’t return until morning when he DJs.” Dave said, trying to make some conversation. Instead, he did the worst thing possible- he asked Egbert about his father.

“No,” John tried to reply casually. “It’s really random for him. I haven’t seen him lately.”John said, giving Dave a shrug. Dave froze. He sounded nonchalant, but in reality, John was trying not to go over some unseen edge, and Dave knew it. John continued walking in the house, making sure that Dave had his backpack, before walking to the garage. There, he found his Mom’s still functioning SUV, a car they’d kept since her death. John usually just drove in this car when it was necessary. He could have just ridden in it instead of dealing with Karkat and Caliborn on his way to school, but then, Caliborn would be upset and bully him more intensely than usual for missing their daily meetings.

Dave gave John directions, but for the most part, the car ride was silent. Once he’d dropped Dave off at the house, Dave stood in front of the car.

“I’ll see you Monday Egbert.” By now, the sun was setting, and John thought his friend looked…brighter than usual. John offered him a smile, but it didn’t reach his eyes, and Dave felt upset.

He opened the door to his home using his spare set of keys, and waved his friend goodbye. As soon as Dave ended up inside, he sank against the nearest wall. John was hurting himself, John knew, and it seemed like every worry and happiness that appeared in his mind revolved around John. Dave turned on his phone, trying to use it as a little escape from reality, when he realized that he’d received a new pester chum. It was strange, because Dave hadn’t given anyone his pester chum handle, but he decided that a conversation probably wouldn’t be that dangerous. Besides, he’d already had one too many stunning revelations happen tonight, so he doubted that he’d have a less than normal conversation.

TG: Woah, you know my name

TG: And I have no idea who you are

TG: Kind of a stranger danger moment, huh?

TG: But in all seriousness

TG: Who wouldn’t know my name?

The response came almost immediately.

CG: HEY, BEFORE WE HAVE AN INTENSE CONVERSATION

CG: OR I SOUND LIKE I’M INSANE

CG: HOW GOOD DOES HIS BLOOD SMELL?

Dave paused at that. He couldn’t deal with this tonight, not if it was a-

CG: I’M NOT A HUNTER

Dave relaxed a little at that. He was curious about this guy, but he didn’t want to reveal himself too quickly.

TG: I guess it smells bloody?

TG: Red?

TG: Is that even a smell?

CG: NO, DOUCHEBAG.

CG: OKAY, I’LL JUST ASK

CG: ARE YOU A VAMPIRE?

TG: Who are you?

CG: A FRIEND

CG: LOOK, I CAN’T TELL YOU WHO I AM YET, UNTIL YOU ANSWER. IF YOU’RE NOT ONE, I’LL LEAVE YOU ALONE, AND NOT TEXT AGAIN, BECAUSE I’M DEALING WITH SOME HIGH CLASS LEVEL SHITSTORM OF A SITUATION RIGHT NOW, AND I WOULD RATHER RUMORS ABOUT ME BEING INSANE AND CALLING THE NEW IRONIC COOL KID A BLOOD SUCKER. NOT THAT I CARE WHAT THESE PEOPLE THINK, BUT I WOULD PREFER NOT TO THROW MYSELF OR MY LOVED ONES HEADFIRST INTO DANGER.

Dave paused at that. This guy didn’t sound like a hunter, but the fact that he knew that he was a vampire worried him greatly. It seemed like everyone was learning this integral piece of information now.

TG: Sorry, but I probably can’t tell you if you’re insane or not until you tell me who you are.

TG: But dude

TG: Spreading rumors is too hellaciously uncool for me

TG: Like, even on an ironic level, I know I’m not into that shit.

CG: I’M A VAMPIRE, OKAY?

CG: I GO TO YOUR SCHOOL

CG: I THOUGHT YOU WERE ONE TOO

CG: YOUR BLOOD SIGNATURE IS REALLY, REALLY OBVIOUS

TG: Oh, yeah okay

TG: I am too, stop getting worried

CG: OH, OKAY

CG: WELL, ITS KARKAT HERE

TG: Oh, hey.

TG: That’s cool, two vampires sitting next to each other

TG: You’re not, like, harvesting people’s blood all of the time, right?

TG: I mean, maybe it’s different with pure bloods, but we can get normal food and deal with the cravings

CG: OF COURSE THIS ISN’T ABOUT EATING PEOPLES BLOOD

CG: BUT I NEED YOU TO DO ME A FAVOR

CG: AND I DON’T WANT THIS TO COME OUT WRONG

CG: BUT I NEED YOU TO TAKE A BREAK FROM JOHN EGBERT

CG: PERMANANTLY.

Dave frowned. First a hunter was telling John to stay away from him, then another vampire also wanted the two apart?

TG: Why?

On Karkat’s end, he started to freak out. What would his reasoning be? Telling Dave that his friend served as fuel for someone who feeds on misery probably wouldn’t be the best option. Instead, he settled on something else.

CG: THERE’S A HUNTER

CG: IN THE SCHOOL

TG: I know.

That response threw Karkat for a loop. He knew?

CG: DOES JOHN KNOW ABOUT YOU?

He started to feel panic. If John knew about Dave, he’d probably know about him too eventually- the jig would be up. Instead, Karkat waited for Dave’s response. It took a few minutes to send, but he stayed online the entire time, so Karkat guessed that his response would be a long one.

TG: No.

Or, not.

TG: Well, he knows about my eyes, but I don’t think that he knows what I am.

CG: HAVE ANY HUNTERS TRIED TO TALK TO HIM?

TG:… yes.

TG: Don’t worry man

TG: We have a plan to get them out.

CG: DAVE. DON’T BE AN IDIOT. JOHN COULD GET HURT.

As Karkat typed, he felt disgusted with himself. How could he even sound like he was trying to help if he was hurting John too?

TG: They don’t know which one of us is a vampire.

CG: I HATE TO BE THE BEARER OF BAD NEWS STRIDER

CG: ESPECIALLY SINCE WE STARTED OUT WITH SO MUCH IN COMMON

CG: BUT I HAVE TO ASK, WHAT EXACTLY IS THIS PLAN?

CG: AND HOW FUCKING LONG DO YOU THINK IT WILL TAKE TO EXECUTE THIS?

TG: I don’t fucking know man. She said after I learned to control some stuff, we can do it

CG: OKAY, AND WHAT IF IT TAKES TOO LONG?

CG: WHAT IF, THE HUNTERS HAVE CONFIRMED THEIR SUSPICIONS, AND MOVE IN TO COME GET YOU?

CG: PROVIDED THAT THEY DON’T CAPTURE YOU

CG: THEY’LL GET JOHN

CG: AS A SOURCE OF INFORMATION

CG: WHEN THEY FIND OUT THAT HE DOESN’T KNOW ANYTHING, THEY’LL HAVE ANOTHER USE FOR HIM.

CG: AS BAIT.

CG: EVEN IF HE DOESN’T KNOW ANYTHING, WHICH HE DOESN’T, HE’S STILL VALUABLE TO YOU, SO THEY’LL USE HIM AS A BARGAINING CHIP TO GET YOU

CG: IF YOU TAKE TOO MUCH TIME TO DECIDE, THEY’LL EITHER KILL HIM

CG: OR TURN HIM INTO A HUNTER.

CG: AND IF YOU TRY TO SAVE HIM, BOTH OF YOU WILL BE DEAD.

CG: SO LISTEN STRIDER.

CG: I’M NOT FORCING YOU TO DO ANYTHING.

CG: BUT IF THEY’VE CONTACTED JOHN, THEY’RE ALMOST 100% SURE ABOUT WHAT YOU ARE. THEY PROBABLY ALREADY KNOW THAT THE VAMPIRE’S NOT HIM.

CG: SO I WOULD SUGGEST THAT UNTIL YOU CARRY OUT THIS PLAN OF YOURS

CG: YOU THINK ABOUT YOUR HUMAN FRIEND’S SAFETY TOO.

Carcino Geneticist (CG) ceased pestering Turntech Godhead (TG).

Dave stared at the screen. A roller coaster of emotions slid across his face, even breaking his well kept poker face. He placed the device on the ground, then ran a hand through his hair as he considered his options. Then again, what were his options? They were running out of time.

And Dave still didn’t know what to do.


	11. Chapter 11

JAFNF Chapter 11

(Friday, August 6th)

Dirk looked at himself in the mirror as he straightened his tie. He hoped this wasn’t too much- or too little. What were responsible adults even supposed to wear to a ‘meeting’ like this one? Hopefully, a dress shirt and tie worked. After scouring Google for something that looked comfortable, Dirk gave up, and exchanged the search query’s words form ‘parent teacher conference’ to date. That was how he’d decided on this outfit- something that looked like he dressed up, but without looking too formal. He didn’t have anyone to ask about this, so he stared at himself in the mirror.

“This is a date, right?” He asked one of his robots, expecting no response. “I mean,I kissed his hand. Most friends don’t do that anymore.” He reassured himself. He hoped it was a date. Still, the prospect of dating Dave’s biology teacher without him knowing it was- well, this wasn’t a conversation he looked forward to having with his little brother. And that was only if the date actually worked. He didn’t know if it would.

Eventually, Dirk went out to go get his bouquet of flowers. He didn’t want to go all out with the roses yet- if this guy spoke flower language, or knew anything about modern society- well, he didn’t want to be too forward with his intentions. Maybe daffodils. Daffodils sound good, they meant new beginnings. He hoped that people still did flowers on dates. What if he was too old fashioned? All of this ran through his head, and more. The flower vendor offered him a smile.

“What’ll it be?” She asked him, and Dirk looked away nervously.

“First date… daffodils?” He asked, and she looked at him quizzically.

“That’s a little different. It’s nice that someone doesn’t just dive for the roses.” She spoke as she assembled a bouquet. Eventually, she’d put everything together, tied it with a bow, and offered It to him.

“Thanks, Ms.  What’s the price?” The young woman offered him a smile.

“Oh, no. It’s on the house. We’re getting some new ones tomorrow anyway- and, uh, I like to celebrate originality. Have fun!” She called, and moved to help another person as he stood there, not allowing him time to protest. Dirk soon returned to his car, then went to his house.

_____________________________

Meanwhile, Jake faced a similar predicament. He too was preparing for his ‘meeting’, but  Roxy stood beside him. The blonde sat a little farther away from the man as he switched out bow ties.

“What about this one, Roxy?” He asked, and the young woman replied honestly.

“You look equally as nerdy in all of them, Jake. Just go have fun with your date. We can deal with the rest later.” She responded, and the biology teacher rolled his eyes.

“You’re not very helpful.”

“I didn’t say I was helping, Jakey.” She responded, and her friend just rolled his eyes.

“I can see that.” He said, and finally, he chose. “Okay, this is the one? How do I look?” Roxy groaned.

“Like you’re too ready to go on a date with your student’s dad.” Roxy said. “I mean, why didn’t he formally ask you?”

“He’s his brother, and he did, he just said-”

“He said this was a meeting, Jake. This guy needs some balls.”

“He kissed me! I mean, on the hand, but still.” Jake responded, and Roxy rolled her eyes.

“Whatever. Just be safe! And don’t go back to his house.” Immediately, the doorbell rang. Dirk was there.

“Why? Why in the days would I not be allowed to- Oh.” Jake said simply, and Roxy snickered at that. “He wouldn’t do that, it’s the first date!” Jake said indignantly, and Roxy just rolled her eyes.

“Suuure Jakey. A guy who kisses you in the middle of a school building would never consider tapping ‘dat ass’. He’s reckless, be careful, okay?” Roxy said, and Jake smiled sheepishly.

“Okay, okay. Quit acting like my mum, and stop making comments about my tush!” He said, and Roxy offered her friend a smile in return. The two friends had started to move towards the door. Jake was prepared to leave, but Roxy had to add one final piece of input.

“Okay, now get out there, and give that man a piece of Jake English! GO! Go! GO!” She shouted, and Jake grinned, then opened the door.

“Dirk!” A nervous, yet excited voice called, and he found his date standing there in semi formal attire, like him. Dirk stared at Jake, and he felt himself turning red. Because of this, Dirk tried to over compensate.

“Oh, hey Jake. Didn’t see you there.” His brain started mentally screaming.  _ “Crap, Crap, Crap, wrong!” _ He thought, and he tried to fix it. Jake just laughed a little, but gracefully ignored the slip up.  

“Oh, flowers? I- Thank you Dirk!” He said, and Dirk just nodded along. He couldn’t figure out why he was suddenly so un cool, but he hoped something would help him stop it. 

“Yeah. Here, I got them for you. Thanks for agreeing to, uh, this.” Dirk said, and Jake looked a little shy as he responded.

“Right- well, I’m always ready to follow up a conversation.” He said, and Dirk, of course, said the first thing that popped into his mind.

“I hope you’re ready to have more than a conversation tonight.” He’d stated. Immediately, Dirk’s ears went red. He tried to fix the statement, but Jake was beaming. “I mean, because we should have a good time too. Not- I mean, I just-” Dirk sighed in defeat. “Yeah, I want to have a good time.”  He thought he screwed everything up, but Jake actually seemed happy? He needed to stop panicking. This would be fine.

“I’m positive we will. Anyway, what are we doing tonight?” He asked, and Dirk felt a little more comfortable again. He planned this.

“I don’t know if you’re into this…” he started, his voice a little unsure. “But, I was thinking a round of bowling, then maybe laser tag, and food?” He suggested, and Jake nodded enthusiastically.

“I haven’t bowled in ages, and I bloody love laser tag. That sounds excellent.” He said, and the two climbed into Dirk’s car.

As her friend left, Roxy sighed. While the cat was away, the mice would play. Of course, she could be seen as both the cat and the mouse, depending on how you read the sentence. She liked cats. Either way, she was ready to go to work. While Jake would have fun on his date, the pink-eyed girl had some shopping to do.

A little bit of time after Jake left their shared house, the girl also went out. Of course, the things on her list included wooden stakes and Holy Water, not apples and bananas. Actually, maybe she could get those too- she felt a little hungry. Her first stop was the nearby church. She knew the pastor already, and he had a definitive sense of justice, but also loved peace. So, when the man heard that she was hunting vampires, he couldn’t join her hunts, but he helped with her supply of the water.

She greeted Vantas warmly, and he responded to her kindly.

“So, I take it that you’re doing one of your… activities again, Roxy?”

“Yep!” She responded immediately. “Rose is even helping me out on this one, it’s really high profile.” The priest just nodded.

“Well, you know where the water is by now, Roxy. You can access the room.” He said simply, and the blonde just shrugged while making a noise of assent. “I’ll leave you to it.” The man spoke, and Roxy smiled again.

“Thank you!” She said cheerfully, and the man walked off. As Roxy found one of the bottles, she sighed. “Item one- check.” She said happily, and the woman walked out of the church.

The two stood in line. After getting a bowling alley, the couple received their shoes, then grabbed their balls.

“Here, let me hold that for you.” Dirk offered, trying to be suave. Jake rolled his eyes at this.

“Oh, sod off you. I can carry my own ball. Actually, do you want me to carry yours?” Jake asked, and Dirk smirked.

“Sure.” He said, and placed the item in Jake’s hand. Instead of struggling, like Dirk thought he would, the man only rolled his eyes in minor annoyance, but lifted the ball. Eventually, they reached their aisle, and the two put their stuff down. They played for a little bit, but with two people, the round went by quickly. In the end, Jake won- he chalked it off to something about physics, and the two prepared for laser tag.

Before starting though, Dirk excused himself to call Dave, and he was surprised that the boy was still out this late. He knew about his glowing problem.

“Is everything alright?” Jake asked, realizing that Dirk didn’t look as happy as he did before his call to his brother. Dirk offered the teacher a sigh.

“Yeah, Dave’s okay, he’s just still out with his friend. I don’t even know if the kid’s parents are home. Jake reassured the older brother.

“Don’t worry, Dave seems pretty responsible. Still, I’m sure he’s returning home now.” He said, then apologized.

“Why are you apologizing?” Dirk asked, and Jake rubbed the back of his head sheepishly.

“We said we would have a good time, and letting you worry about your brother isn’t included in that. We should talk about something else.” He responded, and Dirk offered him a relaxed smile.

“You’re right. We should be talking about how we will win in laser tag- unless we’re against each other. Then, we’d just be talking about how I’ll win.” Dirk said, and Jake stared at him, a determined expression on his face.

“I’ll have you know, Strider, that I’m quite talented at this game.” He responded, and Dirk just mirrored his expression.

“We’ll see. Winner pays for dinner.” He said, and both paid to get in, then suited up. The two were against each other, and they played with some other group of adults that also split into teams. Dirk ended up carrying his team, as did Jake, and once the others got eliminated, they were the only two left. The area had a live screen that showed teams playing, and as the two walked backwards from either side of the backlit room, both knocked into each other. Without even pausing for an apology, they immediately turned, and took cover. Both shot at each other, but neither actually landed any hits on the other, until Dirk came up with an idea. He still held his gun, but he walked to the other side of the area.

Confused, Jake walked towards him, only to find the man standing against a wall. He’d undone his tie a little, and Jake felt his face heat up. He could shoot now, and the competitive side of him wanted to, but he was curious. So, guarding his weak spot, Jake walked towards the man, who offered him a slightly seductive smile.

“Mr. English, it’s dark.” He said, and Jake could swear that his face was on fire at this point. Instead, he tried to keep his cool, and walked over to him. Still, Dirk could tell his guard was down. Once the man reached right in front of him, Dirk placed his hands on his hips, and Jake automatically looped his arm around Dirk’s neck. Then, Dirk leaned in a little, his lips inviting the man. Jake filled the gap, and the two started to kiss. Jake felt Dirk’s hand creep slowly, slowly across his stomach, to the front of his abdomen. He leaned into the kiss more, and just as Jake was about to deepen it, Dirk opened his eyes behind his shades, and his finger was on the gun’s trigger.

Immediately, he shot, and the laser tag people announced game over. Jake pulled away in confusion, and a little anger- and Dirk smirked at him.

“Bang.” He said, and he waltzed out of the area while straightening his tie. Immediately, he was met with cheers from the people that they’d shared the game with. Apparently, they wanted to see how it would end, and all of them applauded his tact. Jake followed Dirk out, and he looked upset, embarrassed, and definitely hooked on Dirk Strider.

“Good game, chap.” Jake said. “But did you really have to use that method to beat me?” He asked, and Dirk shrugged.

“All is fair in love and laser tag.” He said, and Jake rolled his eyes.

“Alright, Mr. Cheap Shot, where to next?” Jake asked, and Dirk shrugged.

“I don’t know, late night Starbucks? I’m open to whatever you’d like.”

“That sounds like a plan, Strider.” Jake said, and they promptly left the laser tag area. The two walked into the parking lot, then up to the Blonde’s car. As Dirk held the passenger door open for Jake, Jake held his flowers from earlier, and got in. They drove, found a starbucks that didn’t close until eleven, and went inside.

“Thanks.” Dirk said to the barista, and both sat down. They found that neither of them drank coffee- instead, they both just took whatever sounded good and cold, and the two talked for a bit. After a little more conversation, Dirk drove Jake back home. They stood on the doorstep, and Jake offered him a good night kiss on the cheek.

“Thanks for this. I’ll see you again soon, right?” Jake asked, and Dirk, who blushed, agreed.

“Yeah, you will. Have a good night!” He said, and started to turn away from the door. “Oh wait, Jake?” He asked, and the teacher stopped.

“Yes, Dirk?”

“Bang.” He said with a smirk, and with a flash of light, he was in his car. Jake smiled, though confused, and walked inside. The second the door closed, Roxy rushed up to him.

“Oh, hi Ro-” He started, but the girl barreled past him. She threw open the door, and sighed. He was already in his car, so she couldn’t see his face.

“Wait! Thanks for getting him home before midnight!” She shouted, and she saw him give a thumbs up from his window. Roxy couldn’t see his face, but was satisfied as he pulled away in his car. When Roxy turned back inside, Jake shouted at her.

“What did you do? Roxy, why?” He asked, and the girl just shrugged.

“I’ve got to appreciate good character, Jakey.” Jake just stormed away indignantly, and Roxy laughed.

AN: Haha, Date night! Plus, we have a little Roxy. Sorry for breaking from the main plot, but a little filler never killed nobody. Don’t worry, next chapter we’ll get right back into it.


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> lol this is kind of therapeutic  
> it's like going back into the brain of childhood me, incredible.

JAFNF Chapter 12

(Monday, August 8 th )

John sat in an awkwardly stiff fashion that Monday. It was his lunch period, one of his two favorite periods of the day, but he felt nervous. The raven haired boy still went to Ms. Maryam, then helped her shelve some books. Lately she’d been more open with John. While she still spoke in her concise, articulated fashion, she seemed to be more attentive to the boy, and more caring. She still acted like she didn’t like Dave, but John found her gaze soften when she stared at him, but only when she thought no one was looking.

“John, could you place this behind the desk?” She’d asked, and John immediately complied. As he went behind the checkout desk, john found a picture frame. Inside it, he’d found that she’d place a picture, but its contents were strange. Inside, instead of having the actual images of two people, John saw their silhouettes, but the insides were white, not black. He assumed that it was some strange camera affect they’d tried, but still, the picture confused him.

Eventually, Dave visited the library, as usual. Ms. Maryam noticed both of them physically tense up when they saw each other, but they acted like nothing was wrong.

“Hello Ms. D-Maryam.” He said, and she just nodded at him in response. “John… hi.” He said, and John seemed to be looking for the correct words to say.

“Hi Dave. Good afternoon.” He tried, and Dave made a noncommittal noise of agreement.

“Uh, yeah. You too.” He said, and John offered him a little smile. They talked so little that the librarian didn’t even tell them to lower their voices. Eventually, the lunch period passed, but they still had another class period to go until they’d reach their 7 th period.

The bell rang, and John bolted through the back hallways, trying to get to his next class quickly. Unfortunately, Caliborn stopped him.

“Hm, well, if it isn’t John Egbert.” A voice said, and immediately, John turned pale.

Meanwhile, Dave finally decided. John had been evading his questions on why he was so eager to join his next class after lunch. He walked up to the librarian, then asked her for a late pass to his next class.

“What? Why on Earth would you need a pass? That’s ludicrous, you still have more than enough time to-”

“Ms. Maryam, please.” He said, and the librarian paused. “Something is wrong, I need to go.” The older woman pursed her lips, then let out a sigh.

“Alright Mr. Strider, I’ll leave the field for when you left your class blank.” She said, pulling out a pen. “Oh, and do try to be more careful. This is a onetime favor, sir.” Dave thanked her profusely, then took the paper, and ran.

“Alright Dave, concentrate. Find John.” He muttered to himself, and he closed his eyes. He already knew that John probably wasn’t in his class right now. “John!” He mentally shouted, and his nose picked up something he could only describe as clean, blue, and pure. It was John. The boy followed the smell instantly. After a little walking/ running, he reached the back hallways of the school, where most of the gym classes took place. The idea that Egbert was in a non required gym class was hard for Dave to believe, and the gym classes only took place in the morning. So, what was John doing back here? Dave found his answer in the form of a fist.

He saw his black haired friend on the ground. Atop him, there stood a boy, a little shorter than him, with dark black hair. His face was bony, and his green eyes shined with malevolence. His hand was curled into a fist, but instead of punching John in the face, he pushed his hand near his face, then made a grabbing motion.

“You know, you’ve been quite slippery, John Egbert. I haven’t been able to do this not once, but twice last week. It’s been a hard, long weekend. John Egbert, I think you owe me.” John coughed. “Okay, what about this. To make up for the days you missed, we’ll stay out here, until your seventh period. I don’t want that friend of yours getting worried.” Caliborn said, and the blue eyed boy looked up at him. He had a few scratches on his cheek, but otherwise, he looked somewhat okay.

“I.. Can’t miss class.” John said, and Caliborn just laughed.

“Please, your attendance is fine. Either way, it’s not like that father of yours will do anything. He’s probably not even home, is he? He’s left you, just like everyone else will in your life. Just like your blonde friend will. Once they find out about what you’ve done to yourself, they’ll think you’re disgusting. And you know what Egbert? You are.” He said cruelly.

John just looked away. Dave watched, frozen.

“No, that’s.. that’s not true.” He said, but John hardly sounded like he believed his own words, and John wasn’t denying it. He wasn’t even fighting back! Caliborn did the grabbing motion again, then took in a deep breath.

“You know what, John Egbert? I don’t think I’ll need to keep you here all class period long. You must have had a long weekend too. I’m satisfied.” He said, patting his stomach like he’d devoured a large meal. John took that as his cue to stand, then grab his backpack. Caliborn started to walk away, and another bell rang. “Oh, and John?” He asked without turning. John cautiously looked towards him. “Don’t mistake my kindness. I don’t want you missing today’s usual meeting.” He said, and the boy just walked away.

John sighed, made sure his things were in his bag, and walked away. Dave ran back down the hallway. He had questions in his mind- thousands, in fact, but he made his way to class. After entering the room, the redhead colorblind girl he sat next to for his history class frowned.

“Is something wrong, Dave?” She’d asked, and the vampire just sighed. Dave faced quite a few people trying to talk to him over the week that he’d entered the school. To put it simply, he was popular. It wasn’t as if he tried, but he always had random people that didn’t look interesting enough for him to remember ask him about joining them for lunch, and other things. The girl that sat next to him didn’t try to talk to him, or anything, but he’d actually initiated the conversation with her. While the history teacher prattled on about her personal life, Dave found the girl drawing something funny on her page, and he’d written a shitty response comic to it on his. Eventually, she read it, laughed, and that became their thing.

Today, she hadn’t even started their drawing game. After all, she could tell that he wasn’t in the mood. He just sighed. Maybe he’d vent about this to Rose or Jade later, but for now, he just shrugged in response.

“I’m fine. So, what do you think she’ll screech about today?” Dave asked, referencing their teacher. Terezi knew he wasn’t okay, but just sighed and went with his conversation change.

“Something about old people that are dead now and will do the same things that every other old dead person did.” She responded, and Dave let out a hollow laugh.

“No fucking kidding. She tells you the same story with different names on every single test, and it’s like no one’s noticed it yet.” He responded. The albino was starting to feel better.

“Up for another round?” She asked, picking up a pencil. Dave smirked, holding a sheet of notebook paper.

“Hell yes.” He said, and the girl offered him a grin, then got to work.

Later, in biology, Dave walked in. He waved a little at the teacher, but the man made a strangled sound, then looked away quickly. Dave, of course, didn’t know what his problem was, but he had bigger things to worry about. Namely, John Egbert, and Karkat. John was sitting in class and getting out his notes, as usual, but paused when he saw Dave. The albino stood in front of Karkat’s desk. Karkat, who was drawing badly on the desk, noticed Dave’s presence and looked up.

“Hey, what the hell do you want, Fuckwad?” He asked, then lowered his voice. “Did you give our conversation any thought?” He asked, and Dave sighed.

“Yeah man, just- let me handle this. We’ll figure something out.” He responded, and moved to sit down. Immediately, Dave looked at John, then looked away. Of course, John looked back in response, and tried to act normal- or at least, at the level of normal he’d been acting at for a day now.

“Hi Dave.” John said, and Dave frowned a little, but responded.

“Hi John.” He said, and they stayed silent for the entire class period.

Once the class ended, John put his things away in his backpack haphazardly, but Dave waited for him. He had his classes with Dolorosa today, but he needed to make sure his friend was okay.

“John,” Dave stated, causing the boy to look up. “I’m walking you home today.” He said, and John showed a split second of emotion- fear, then returned to normal.

“Thanks Dave, but I’ll be okay. Also, I’m sorry, but I can’t hang out. I have piano after school today.” He lied smoothly, and Dave didn’t even doubt him. Even if he did, it wouldn’t have changed anything.

“That’s okay John, I still don’t mind.” He said, and stood by the door. The teacher looked between the two quizzically, but both boys ignored him.

“I’m okay, really Dave. But thank you.” He said, speaking in a tone that begged him to drop it.

“No, you’re not.” Dave said harshly, then his voice got less tense. “No, you’re not.” He repeated, and he sighed. “Look, John. I’m not going to ditch you. Now you can stay here or walk to your house with me, but I’m not leaving you alone.” He responded, and John sighed. He knew he couldn’t win this, but he also knew Caliborn would destroy him later.

“Fine.” He responded, and the boy walked ahead of him, then pushed past him out of the door.

“Uh, bye, Mr. English.” He responded, and the boy started to walk out, but not without noticing his teacher’s guilty, horrified, and genuinely goofy expression at the simple phrase.

The vampire looked up at the sky. It would rain soon, but not before he got John home safely. The two walked home without incident, but John seemed determined not to talk to him. Dave saw the boy tense when they neared the alleyway where they’d met Caliborn and Karkat earlier. He ended up walking in front of the boy, and Caliborn stood there, but Karkat was strangely absent. Dave didn’t even stop to look at the boy. He just continued forging ahead, then looked back accusingly when John shared eye contact with the boy. John’s eyes widened in panic as he quickly caught up to the albino.

Finally, the two reached John’s house. It took them under ten minutes, but Dave dropped him off on the porch.

“Thanks, I guess, Dave.” John said, then immediately walked inside. Dave stood there, standing by the closed door, and John leaned on it on the door’s other side. He put his forehead against it, and Dave found himself placing his hand on the door. After a second of standing, Dave started to run back to the school. He eventually ended up back there, but he took a more direct route, and ended up there faster. The student made his way to the library, then knocked on Dolorosa’s back room door.


	13. Chapter 13

JAFNF Chapter 13

(Monday, August 8 th )

Dave panted a little, but he didn’t sweat. He’d run as quickly as possible to get to this room. The albino didn’t want to be late for his first meeting, but Dolorosa was already there.

“Dave Strider.” The woman said, her back to him. “I hope this doesn’t turn into a habit.” She spoke concisely, and Dave felt himself wilt.

“Sorry, I was walking John home.” He said, and a groan sounded from across the room.

“Wait, so you’re still hanging out with him, after all the sh- uh, stuff we talked about?” He’d clearly amended his usual cursing speech, and Dave’s head whipped towards the sound of the voice. It was Karkat, all decked out in his long sleeve shirt and jeans. Instead of responding to the boy, Dave looked at the librarian in surprise.

“Ms. Maryam? Why is Karkat Vantas, uh, here?” He asked, and the woman finally turned around.

“He’s one of the vampires I’ve helped, and I think he can help us.” She turned towards Karkat. “But he’s correct, to some extent. I told you to mingle your blood signature with others, so that he’s not a target. Why have you just stayed with him?” She asked, and Dave struggled to find an answer. Her eyebrows creased together, and suddenly, she turned distrustful and protective. “David, you’re not attempting to feed off your friend, correct? Is that an urge you’re battling?” She questioned, and Dave’s eyes widened.

“No way. I wouldn’t do that. Not to John, not to anyone. He and I are just close friends, it’s hard to separate.” He said, and Dolorosa looked at him for a second, then sighed.

“Alright. Still, I would advise you to stay away from Mr. Egbert, and mingle with others to confuse the hunters. Especially now that you’ll begin learning to remove your blood signature. Do you understand?” Dave swallowed, but nodded. He could figure something out later. The Dolorosa coughed. “Now, I believe that it’s time to start our work.” Dolorosa said, then walked to the other side of the room. She had a glint in her eye, and Dave could tell that she’d enjoy this. She made sure the smart white board was on, then held one of its pens. On it, she drew a mouth, and added two vampire teeth. In a different color, She drew two lines arching down the teeth, then stepped back from the board.

“Is that-“

“An average vampire mouth? Yes. We mentioned feeding, and I can’t help but offer a small lesson on it. Your canine teeth become fangs, as you know, are what you use to draw blood. As a vampire, your teeth will grow out more during full moons, then urge you to turn others into vampires. If you choose not to, you’ll enter an hour or two where you’ll feel restless. You’ll feel irritable, over emotional, and lack the ability to blush. These are all normal stages in a vampire’s development. Going back to your teeth, they can also be used to deposit blood. They really function as more of a blood transportation method than anything. Take this-” She paused, grabbing an apple from the snack table. “…apple. You could suck out of it, or you could deposit blood inside, but only if you have a blood surplus. I would suggest that you try not to perform blood transfusions using your teeth. The result could be optimal, but odds are,” She grew out her front teeth, then bit into the apple. After a minute, it filled with blood, then exploded.

“Eww.” Dave and Karkat spoke simultaneously, and they shared a look.

“Now, boys. Don’t doubt your powers. It can be useful. It could potentially save a life.”

“That doesn’t mean it’s not fucking disgusting.” Karkat said, and while Dave agreed wholeheartedly, Ms. Maryam regarded him coldly.

“Your language is offensive and will not be tolerated, Mr. Vantas. Strike one.” She said, and he turned red.

“Sorry, Dolorosa.” He responded, and she nodded, satisfied, then continued.

“Now, moving on. Dave, I believe that you don’t know how to turn off your blood signature. Have you sensed yours yet?” She asked, and Dave shook his head.

“No.” He said, but frowned. “But I may have tracked John once using it. I found him in the school once.” He realized, thinking back to Caliborn. The frown on Dave’s face seemed to grow, but Karkat interjected the conversation with a surprised tone in his voice.

“Wait, are you learned John’s blood signature before you even learned your own? Really?” He asked, his voice both disbelieving and a little haughty. Dave refused to let himself get embarrassed, and ignored Karkat. The pureblood only looked to Dolorosa.

“What do I do?” He asked, and Dolorosa put a hand over her lips in thought.

“Begin by locating John. How do you find him? Do you feel a rope leading you to him?” She asked, and Dave’s slowly closing eyes began to scrunch together. There was never a rope, and Damara saw it on his face. “Perhaps you hear him, or… how does he smell?” Dave took in a deep breath, and thought about it.

“Blue, and clean. Soap bubbles.” He said, and even though that didn’t make sense, Dolorosa knew what it meant.

“You sense blood signatures through your nose- you smell them. Take in a deep breath, and find him.” She instructed. Dave did so for a while, with minimal results.

_ “John.” _ His brain shouted as he took in a deep breath through his nose.  _ “Find… John!” _ His brain shouted again, and suddenly, he could envision a blue trail leading to the boy’s house. Dave found himself smiling and walking towards the smell, and Karkat had to run forward and stop him before he ran into a door.

“Good.” Dolorosa said, a bemused expression on her face. “Now, sense yours. What would yours smell like? What are you like, Dave?” She asked him, and he immediately closed his eyes. “What is Dave Strider like? What are his hopes, his aspirations? What angers him, what makes him laugh?” She asked more questions, and Dave tried to envision himself. He took in a deep breath through his nose, and another. Suddenly, a smell he could only describe as dark red (again, it didn’t make sense, but it didn’t have to) seemed to curl around him. His eyes opened behind his sunglasses.

“I did it!” He said, and Karkat snickered a little, then Dolorosa nodded at him in approval.

“Good. You’re picking this up quickly, Dave. Now, we will do the last part, and the most difficult. Hiding it. I need you to sense yours again.” She said, and he did so. The trick came easier to him now. “Concentrate on how your blood signature feels inside you, Dave.” She said, and He did so immediately. It was warm, and it felt like his whole identity was there.

“I think I’m doing it.” He said, and Dolorosa just nodded.

“Good. Now, push it away from you. Put it in the floor, put it behind a book, just take it off of you.” She said, and Dave tried. He tried to ball up the smell- o – vision version of himself, then put it in the floor. Still, when he did, a little bit stayed attached to his feet. “Stay calm, Dave. No one gets this on their first try.” She said, and Dave’s eyebrows creased.

“ _ No way, You are a strider, Dave. Now suck it the fuck up and do it! _ ” His subconscious told him, and he listened. Still, he seemed to have one little attachment, a tiny fragment that stayed stuck to him.  _ “If you can’t do this, hunters could hurt John. It’s either that, or you never see him again to keep him safe- so choose.”  _  His subconscious said, and with an internal roar of determination, he did it. Karkat, who’d been sensing his Blood signature the entire time, looked up at him in surprise. Dave opened his own eyes, only to be met with surprised expressions from both his teacher, and whatever Karkat was to him.

“Did I do it?” Dave asked, looking down at his hands. Dolorosa quickly recovered her professionalism.  

“You completed the task, Dave. Well done. In all my years-” Dolorosa coughed, stopping herself. “Well, anyway. Good Job Dave, you did well.” She said, and Dave celebrated by fist pumping. Of course, he only did so ironically, so people knew he was joking. Right.

“So, can you call in your friend and take care of those hunters?” He asked, and she sighed.

“Yes, I suppose that I can. Well, I suppose that this is it. There seems to only be one issue- my friend wants payment, and she doesn’t accept money.” Dave immediately stopped his ironic celebration.

“What does she need?” Dave asked, and the woman smiled a little.

“She feeds off positivity, and happiness- all she usually wants is a snack.” The woman said, then frowned. “Unfortunately, her tastes are pretty refined. She needs someone that’s pure, and, well, extremely kind.” The woman said, looking at Dave. “Our objective is to find someone like that, and quickly.” She said, and Karkat and Dave both looked at each other at the same time.

“What about John?” They asked together, and the woman sighed, then frowned.

“Unfortunately, that can’t work. I was hoping your presence in his life may help but,” The woman shook her head sadly. “The boy is still troubled. If she fed on misery, maybe.” Dolorosa said, and Dave saw Karkat flinch. “Unfortunately, she doesn’t. I wish to help him, but I’m afraid that he hasn’t opened up to me about his problems yet, and I can’t give him the help he needs.” Dolorosa said, and Dave sighed.

“Well, where do we get someone that’s pure hearted, or whatever, and still knowledgeable about our whole vampire issue, and willing to travel around the country, pretending to be his guardian, with someone that wants to feed off them?” Karkat asked, and Dolorosa sighed.

“If necessary, and only if necessary, we may just tell a human. Otherwise, we should try to avoid that.” She said, and the two nodded. “Now, Dave. There’s still a few things I would like you to learn. For now, just start your search for someone with a heart of gold.” She said, and the two nodded. The woman erased the image on the smart board, and as she was about to leave, Dave had a question.

“One last thing, Ms. First, thank you for helping me.” The woman nodded in asent. “Second, I was wondering. What does it look like when someone feeds on someone else?” Dave asked, and Dolorosa put her book down.

“Well, they can look different, depending on what they’re feeding on.” Dave nodded, then continued.

“Okay, could they look like they’re grabbing the air above a person, then actually be feeding on them?” He asked, demonstrating the position he saw Caliborn do. “Like this?” He asked, and Dolorosa paused.

“Dave, what did you see? Who did this?” She asked. Karkat remained oddly silent, but Dave didn’t focus on that.

“Nothing. I’ll talk to- I’ll discuss it later. But that’s what it looks like, right?” Dave asked, and Dolorosa frowned.

“It can.” Dave reached to open the door and leave, but Karkat placed a hand on his shoulder.

“Dave…” He said, and the afforementioned vampire turned around. “Just don’t do anything stupid. Don’t let him get hurt, okay?” Karkat asked, referencing John. Dave nodded solemnly.

“I promise. I won’t let him get hurt.” Dave responded, and with that, the two left. Dave stood near the front of the school, but didn’t walk outside to stand in front because of the rain.

“Hey, Bro. The class thing is done.” Dave said, and Dirk responded over the phone.

“Yeah, okay. I’ll pick you up. Be ready.” He said, and Dave just responded quickly, then hung up. Eventually, Dirk’s car pulled up to the school. He had an orange soda in his cup holder, and he seemed to be in an extremely good mood.

“How was school?” Dirk asked. He’d been acting weird since Friday night, but now that he was actually doing that parent thing when he asked about Dave’s day, Dave knew something was wrong. Still, he tried to act natural.

“It was good, I figured out how to disguise my signature, and how to track John. Everything was pretty normal, but my Biology teacher was acting fucking weird.” He said, and he immediately had all of Dirk’s attention.

“What? How was he acting?” Dirk asked, and Dave shrugged.

“I don’t know, he just kept looking at me, then looking away. It’s like he was studying me the entire class period long. He may be a hunter.” Dave said, and Dirk balked at the suggestion.

“What, him? No way, I’ve seen that guy. No way would a hunter be like him.” Dirk said, shutting the line of conversation down. Well, that was weird. Still, Dave temporarily dropped it.

“Well, Even if he’s not the hunter, he’s been acting weird around me. Today, I just told him bye, and he started looking guilty and-I don’t fucking know, just weird.” Dave said, and Dirk frowned.

“What exactly did you say?” Dirk asked, and Dave took a second before answering.

“I don’t know, I was just like, ‘Goodbye, Mr. English’, and the guy freaked out. Why are you so interested in my biology teacher anyway? You don’t even know the rest of my teacher’s names.” He said, and Dirk felt defensive, so he immediately countered.

“I don’t know, why are you so interested in John? I mean, I know he’s your friend, but learning to track the guy with vampire powers sounds like a little much.” He said. Instead of getting the response he wanted, Dave fell silent. Dirk looked down at his younger sibling through his shades. “…Dave?” The man asked, now starting to feel uncomfortable. His younger brother let out a sigh.

“It’s complicated. I think that someone is hurting him.” He said. “But, not in a normal way.” He amended, and Dirk looked down at the boy in concern. Dirk didn’t know when a conversation about Dave’s day at school turned into this, but he tried to offer the best advice he could. The two were close to their home at this point in their drive.

“Dave… you should talk to him. Maybe you can stop whatever’s hurting him if you two talk about it.” Dave looked up at his brother through his shades.

“You think so?” He asked, and Dirk nodded.

“I know so, little man.” Dave sighed, then put down his backpack.

“Okay, I will. Leave me some of that pizza in the fridge.” He said, then unbuckled his seatbelt, and opened the door. Without any warning, Dave jumped out of the car, rolled, and stood up on the side walk in one fluid motion. Dirk swore as he closed the door.

“Damn it Dave, I didn’t mean now!” He shouted as the car drove by. Immediately, Dave ignored his brother, then started his trek to John.


	14. Chapter 14

JAFNF Chapter 14

( Monday, August 8 th  )

John wasn’t completely lying when he said he had piano that day. Sure, he didn’t have to go see a teacher, but he still wanted to practice. So, the boy went to his practice room, and sat down. He couldn’t think of any previously arranged pieces he wanted to play today, so he made something up. Eventually, after the lower, sadder notes didn’t fit him, he’d decided to play some higher ones. After playing around for a little bit, John composed a somewhat upbeat, but melancholy melody. It gave him nostalgia, and for the most part, he thought about Dave. As today’s events entered John’s mind, he frowned. Maybe getting on pester chum would help. So, John grabbed his phone, then opened it. He decided he’d start with Rose, then talk to Jade later.

EctoBiologist (EB) Began Pestering TentacleTherapist (TT).

EB: Rose!

EB: Hi

TT: John, it pleases me to see you again

TT: How are you doing?

EB: I’m doing okay

EB: What about you?

TT: Actually, I’ve found my recent series of occurrences to be quite favorable

TT: I’ll be visiting my older sister soon

TT: And helping her with a project

EB: Wow, that’s great!

TT: Actually, I’ll be temporarily living in her house near her schooling institution

TT: In Washington

EB: No way

EB: Are you saying that you’ll visit my state?

EB: We should hang out!

John, momentarily forgetting about Dave, was elated.

TT: I would love to, John.

TT: Now, all we’d need to complete our party

TT: Is Jade

EB: Yeah

EB: It would be great if she could come too

EB: So, when are you coming?

TT: Next week

TT: I’ll have some business to take care of

TT: But I can always devise some time for friends.

EB: Next week?

EB: Oh man

EB: I’m so excited!

And John truly was. He wanted nothing more than for his friend to visit him, along with Dave. Even though things were tense between the two now, John would have loved for them to hang out.

EB: We can all watch Con Air!

TT: I assumed you would say that

EB: Haha yeah

EB: But it’s a good movie, I promise

EB: We can do other stuff too!

TT: Yes, I’m quite excited

TT: Now John, what’s going on with you?

EB: Oh, nothing much

EB: Well no

EB: There’s much

EB: But I’m not too worried about it.

Suddenly, John heard the doorbell ring.

EB: One second, some Girl scout is probably at the door

John pulled down his hoodie’s sleeves and opened the door. While he expected to see a young girl selling cookies, or at least a disgruntled UPS man, he found something else. Namely, it was a wet, cold, shivering Dave strider.

“Dave, Oh my gosh! What did you do?!” He asked, pulling the boy inside. He spent a second making sure that yes, this was his best friend, then ran off to find a towel. Dave was drenched. After finding a spare drying apparatus, Dave took the item.

EB: It was Dave he ran here in the rain I’ll be back later bye

EctoBiologist (EB) Ceased Pestering TentacleTherapist (TT).

“Dave, are you okay? Why did you do this?” John asked, once a towel no longer covered the boy’s face. Dave removed his sunglasses, and stared at John directly in the face.

“John, we needed to talk.” John looked at him like he was insane.

“And that couldn’t have waited until you had a ride?” Dave looked away sheepishly.

“Well, I had a ride. I just ditched it.” He said, and John looked at him in confusion.

“My gob Dave, you’re insane.” He said, shaking his head.

“And you’re hurting. Tell me what’s going on.” He said, then sneezed. John looked away, instinctively covering his arms with his hands. “Hey,” Dave said, placing his hands atop John’s arms. “It’s okay. I’m not leaving.” He reassured him, and John sighed. He’d have to say it sooner or later anyway. They ended up on John’s couch, and once John was certain that Dave wouldn’t die of hypothermia, he spoke.

“Alright. So, I guess this started in 6 th grade. You know Karkat Vantas, right?” He asked, and Dave nodded, but raised an eyebrow. He had no idea what Karkat would have to do with this, but he listened.

“Yeah, I know him. Why?”

“Well, we were friends at one point, but we kind of broke it off. That was in elementary school though. Then, he ended up befriending Caliborn. I don’t know what he did, but since then, Karkat got worse. He started his loud cursing sprees, he stopped being happy, like he was before. Karkat was always stressed- like he was constantly on his period, I guess.” He said, and Dave let him continue.

“Well, eventually, Caliborn found out about my dad, and how he kind of… stopped being there, once I left middle school. He pays the bills and makes cake, but I don’t talk to him. Ever.  So, Caliborn found out about it, and started picking on me. It started with little things- tripping me in the hallway, messing with my stuff. Then, it picked up. Once I got into High school, Caliborn would meet me on my way home from school, along with Karkat. Karkat didn’t do the things that Caliborn did, but he was still there. And I think that made everything worse. Sure, if Caliborn was the only one there, it would have hurt, but Karkat’s presence made everything Caliborn said really hit home.” John paused, and noticed Dave getting angry.

“What did he do?” He asked, his voice strained. He would have run through a million more rainstorms if it meant that he could beat this guy’s face in. With a sword.

“Well, he usually didn’t get physical. Sometimes, he’d just pin me on the ground, and say mean things. It was always like- I don’t know. It was like he always knew exactly what I was scared of, which was weird.” John avoided eye contact with Dave.

“You’re scared of me leaving you? Because of this?” He asked, putting his hands on his arms. John looked away.

“I know you wouldn’t.” John said, and that much was true.

“But you’re scared I will.” Dave said, and John didn’t disagree.

“I’m sorry, I know it’s stupid.” Dave looked at him again. His voice was free of its usual slang.

“It’s not Egbert. I’m just… I don’t know. I saw you in the hallway today. What was he doing to you?” He asked, trying to see if John knew that Caliborn was doing what he thought.

“I don’t really know. He just likes to make me upset, then walks away. Wait, you saw?” John asked, and Dave nodded.

“I’m sorry I didn’t stop him. At least now I get why you didn’t say anything back.” He said, but his lips fell into a frown. “But… your arms. I don’t know.” Dave said, and winced. “I’m not judging you!” He added quickly, rethinking his words when John looked down. “I just don’t understand.” He added and John sighed.

“It’s more than just Caliborn.” His arms crossed, and his hands began to grip at his sweatshirt. “Sometimes, or often, I guess, I just feel really… alone, I guess. I don’t really think I can describe it. I just end up feeling so isolated and far away from everything, and then…” John’s words trailed off, and he felt his eyes getting a little wet. He shut them to ward off those tears. “And then I feel like I don’t have any control over anything anymore, and I need something to make it stop and take the focus away from how… alone I feel, I guess, and after that I just-” His voice cut off sharply there, and Dave moved closer to John, putting a careful hand atop one of John’s. The boy hadn’t noticed, but he was gripping his sweatshirt hard. As soon as Dave touched him, he relaxed his grip.

“You’re not alone.” Dave told him, and John’s voice almost came out like a wimper. Almost.

“I know.” He said, and Dave moved in closer then. Close enough to wrap an arm around him. “I don’t feel alone now.” John said, and closed his eyes. “Just… sometimes.” He admitted, and Davelooked at him.

“Can you call me, when you do?” He asked, and John thought about it. “I mean, not just pesterchum. Physically call me. Can you?” He asked again, and John considered it.

“Okay.” He said, and Dave sighed.

“Good.” They sat like that for a few more seconds in silence, then Dave moved to return the sunglasses to his face.

“Wait!” John said, stopping the boy. “Sorry, wait. I was, uh wondering.” John said, looking at his friend. “I mean, you totally don’t have to do this. But uh, maybe...” John struggled with the words. Dave raised a white eyebrow at his friend. “Could you keep your glasses off? Maybe just for now? I don’t know.” John said, then immediately began to shrink away from the idea. “You know, you don’t really have to. Actually, let’s forget I said anything at all. Good idea.” He said, embarrassment clear on his features.

“John.” Dave said, startling the boy. “You want me to keep them uncovered?” He asked, and John looked at him as if he were insane.

“Uh.. yes? I like your eyes.” He said, then Dave looked at him in genuine surprise.

“Seriously? Don’t they freak you out?” He asked, and John shook his head.

“No? I think they’re cool.” The boy paused for a  second, then elaborated. “Actually, I did kind of expect something like this, before I met you. I mean, you are the coolest kid I know. Of course you would be the one with the red eyes, and the shades, and the anime hair older brother. It’s all just a part of you.” John observed, and Dave put down his sunglasses. Gratitude was clear in the blonde’s face.  

“Thanks.” The albino said, feeling genuinely appreciative of the comment. Without his sunglasses on, John couldn’t stop sneaking glances at Dave’s face. How hadn’t he noticed his freckles? While John learned to (at least, kind of) read Dave with his sunglasses on, he could see a lot more emotions from his friend. Dave noticed his friend sneaking looks at him, and he laughed a little.

“It’s alright Egbert, you can bask in the shadow of my amazing face.” Dave said, and John let out a laugh.

“Whatever, Dave.” He said, but found himself staring at his friend more freely. “Hold on. Let me see something?” John asked for permission, and Dave granted it.

“Go ahead.” Immediately, John was right in front of Dave’s face. Dave fought off the instinct to jump back, and looked down at his friend instead.

“I’m counting your freckles. I never knew you had those.” He said, and Dave shrugged. And really, John tried counting his freckles, but eventually, he just said infinity and left it at that. Dave found himself looking back at his friend, watching the boy’s fascination with his face. He found Egbert’s wide blue eyes staring into his red ones. Oddly enough, Dave didn’t feel violated, and actually felt comfortable. As the red eyed boy leaned back against the arm of the couch, John continued leaning forward to get a better look at his friend’s face. John slowly pushed his hand near his friend’s face, then moved a strand of white hair that blocked some of his face. The boy continued leaning forward until their faces were centimeters apart, squinting at something behind his glasses. Dave felt the vampire blood in his body head towards his face. He wondered what John was thinking about as he looked at him so intensely. Before Dave could question it, John jumped up.

“Oh!” He shouted, and Dave, a little shocked, moved back. “I’ve got to text Rose back, she must be worried!” John said, then opened up his phone.

TentacleTherapist (TT) began Pestering EctoBiologist (EB).

TT: John?

TT: Are you and Dave alright?

TT: I hope that he is not hurt.

TT: Respond when you can, John

EB: Rose!

EB: Sorry

EB: Dave’s okay, just cold

EB: But I gave him a towel

EB: Should I tell him the news?

TT: That relieves me

TT: And, if the news of which you speak pertains to me

TT: Then it would be a helpful occurrence if you were to let him know

TT: So, yes.

EB: Okay! I’ll be back

John got off again, only to see Dave sitting there, a small blush on his face.

“How did it go with Rose?” He asked, leaning on the couch more casually now. John beamed.

“Great! And you’ll never guess what’s happening!” Dave smirked, then looked away, placing a hand on his chin.

“Well, since you’re this excited about it, I’d say that A, I’m here, B, Nic Cage is here, or C, Both. Because, you know, there’s nothing else in life that could make you more happy than those three things.” Dave said, and to his surprise, John didn’t have a witty rebuttal. Instead, the brunette shrugged.

“While true Dave, it’s actually something else, namely, Rose.” He paused, then had to stop himself from shouting the next part. “She’s coming here next week!” He said, and John felt himself burst with excitement. Surprise actually filled Dave’s face, before he changed his expression to one of mild interest.

“That’s cool. So, now my two best internet friends can chill and do whatever the hell best friends do? That’s pretty fantastic, ‘Bert.” He said, and John smiled.

“I know! We can watch con air together, and…” As John prattled about the things they’d do, Dave offered his best friend an affectionate smile. His thoughts turned to the boy in front of him.  _ “Damn, Dave. John Egbert was good before, but without my shades on, he looks like he had an HD remake, and a cute one, at that. In fact-” _ Dave stopped his thoughts.  _ “Wait, what? Shit, no, no no.” _ He amended in his mind, rethinking his thoughts. He could not be thinking that way now, especially since that full moon was coming in- what, a week? Then Dave realized. He still needed to find his perfect person in a week, and, Rose would be coming at the same time. The idea that he had to balance all of this, along with keeping John in the dark about his vampire side, wasn’t a task Dave wanted to take on.

While Dave’s ironic mask generally worked with his sunglasses on, John noticed that his eyes really gave him away. So, while Dave continued to smirk, John could tell that his friend was worried- even if he didn’t know why. Eventually, John stopped talking, and Dave looked down in confusion.

“John, what’s wrong? Didn’t you want to visit… coffee town?” He asked, remembering the last thing his friend said. John nodded.

“I’d like to, but first I want to know what’s bothering you.” John said, and Dave sighed. He didn’t want to lie to his friend, but Dave also couldn’t tell him the truth. Instead, he settled with something in between.

“Calm down Egbert, I’m fine. Just thinking about next week.” He said, and John leaned back against his couch.

“What’s wrong?” He asked, and Dave let out a sigh.

“Nothing. I’ve just got a lot of shit to do right now, and that includes talking to Karkat.” Dave said, anger entering his tone again. “Seriously, I want to know what his problem is.” He said, and John frowned.

“You’re not going to like… have a ninja battle with him, or anything like that, right?” John asked. Dave arched an eyebrow at him.

“You don’t want me to hurt him?” Dave asked, and John frowned again.

“I- No.” He said firmly. “No, I don’t want you to hurt him, even if he’s a jerk. Are you guys friends?” John asked, and Dave shrugged.

“I guess so. Or at least, we were. I need to know why he did this. He sounds generally concerned about you, but still. I don’t know, Egbert.” He said, and John nodded.

“Now, uh, can you explain why you had to run through the rain to talk about this?” John asked, and Dave just shrugged.

“Why not? I wanted to get to you quickly. What were you doing when I wasn’t here?” He asked, and John shrugged.

“Just messing around on my piano, and talking to Rose.” He said. Dave smirked.

“Messing around, John? Woah, TMI.” He said, and John stared at him uncomprehendingly for a few seconds.

“…What?” He asked, and Dave just sighed.

“Four… three… two..one.” He said, and John blushed, then hit his friend on the chest.

“Dave! I wasn’t doing that.” He said, and his friend just laughed.

“You’re too innocent, Egbert.” Dave spoke. John just rolled his eyes.

“Maybe you’re just too dirty.” He responded, and to that, Dave smirked.

“Hm, Maybe. Maybe, I should dirty you up, Egbert. You’re way too innocent to have been hanging around me for years.” John just looked up at him, a determined smirk on his face.

“And maybe, you could stand to be a little less of a perv, Dave.” He said, and Dave’s smirk didn’t leave his face.

“Well, Egbert. I dare you to try.” He said, but before John could rebut his words, John heard Dave’s phone ring. One of his raps played, and Dave immediately picked up the phone.

“Yeah Bro?” He’d asked, and John stood there awkwardly. “Oh. Oh yeah. Sorry. Two minutes? Fiiiine, I’ll be there.” He said, then hung up.

“What’s up?” John asked, and Dave just sighed.

“My brother’s kind of upset about me jumping out of the car and running away to go see you without warning. Sorry ‘Bert, but I have to go.” He said, and immediately, John nodded.

“Yeah, okay. I’ll see you later, Dave!” He said, then latched onto his friend. Dave froze for a second, before returning the hug.  “And thanks.” John said into his friend’s shirt. “For everything.” Dave just nodded in response, then saw his brother’s truck pull up. The two parted, and John ushered him out of the door.

“See you tomorrow, Egbert.” He said, pulling open the door to his front seat. John offered him a goofy grin.

“See you!” He said, and the vampire, still holding his sunglasses in hand, got into the car.

\---


	15. Chapter 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> here's the part where i got lazy. enjoy pages 108- 206 of this document, or more appropriately, chapters 15-28

JAFNF Chapter 15

The green eyed girl paused. What had she been doing? She looked down at her fingers, saw a green string, and remembered. Oh, right. She needed to figure out some of her garden. Truthfully, after hearing that Dave, and now Rose, were both going to see John, she felt a little left out. Both John and Dave talked to her less often since Dave’s move to see them, and now, with Rose going to visit, she wondered if their friendship would fade. The girl had lived a life in solitude. Since her grandfather’s death, Jade technically should have come to live with her older cousin, Jake. The only issue was, well, her.

See, while Jade lived on this giant island, she lived here alone, except for Bec and the wild life. So naturally, even though Jade had the ability to kill any monster on the island, she would try to befriend it first. When Jade was slightly younger- about two years since she’d met John, Dave and Rose, Jade’s grandfather died. Before her scheduled legal move to her cousin’s house, Jade took long walks alone on the island. One night, the moon was huge, and clear in the sky. Because of it, she could see pretty well, so she decided that she’d take one of her walks.

While walking, she heard sounds of fighting. A gigantic, almost human sized white wolf and a similarly sized black wolf were confronting each other, for whatever reason. Jade watched them curiously from afar, until one of them, the black one, realized she was there. In the split second it would have taken her to remove her gun, the black beast was upon her. The animal bit her leg. As soon as the white one saw her horrified face, she fought the black male one more ferociously than before. Eventually, the white wolf pinned the black one down by her claws, and Jade watched curiously. The white wolf slashed the black one’s eye, and Jade wanted to end the fight there, but couldn’t get a good shot of the animal with the white one in the way. She took aim, and as soon as she was able to get a good handle on the black fur, she shot.

Apparently she hit a vital region, because the black, male wolf immediately went still.  As soon as the white wolf noticed that the creature died, she backed off, and Jade was able to get a good look at her. She’d sustained some injuries, and Jade decided that she would try to help as much as she could. After using one of her grandfather’s technologies to ‘appearify’ a steak, Jade held the meat up for the creature, then got it to follow her. Eventually, she led the white wolf to her home, tranquilized it, and did as much first aid as she could on the creature. After helping the creature, she helped herself, but found that the bite didn’t appear to be infectious. So, she did some basic first aid, then shrugged it off, and went to sleep.

Now the next morning, Jade went back to check on the wolf. She’d used some strong tranquilizers on that thing, but she hoped that it was only sleeping now, since it had been well over 12 hours. Instead of finding a white, fur covered creature, Jade found quite the opposite- A human female, dressed in some torn dress. She slept right where Jade left the wolf, and Jade did the first thing that came naturally to her- She screamed.

Eventually, the sounds roused the woman, who looked up at the girl from her position on the floor. She didn’t speak, but instead tried to make calming gestures. Bec, her dog, came downstairs and saw Jade screaming. Still, he’d seen her bring the wolf in the night before, and no threatening actions were being made towards the human, so he promptly stood up and left. This got Jade to calm down a little, but she still looked at the person in confusion, wondering who she was, and how she ended up in her home.

Upon closer inspection, Jade could see that the woman’s mouth was sown shut, and she made a groaning sound, but understandably didn’t speak.

“Who are you?” She asked, wondering if the woman had some other form of communication. She tried sign language, but after a minute of trying, the woman just looked for something- anything, she could write with. Jade realized her problem, then ran to go find a pencil, or a white board. Eventually, she located a notepad and pencil, and she handed it to the woman.  She smiled at her a little gratefully, then began to write.

“I am Peregrene, or Peri Meyers. Some refer to me as PM.” The words read, and Jade nodded. “I am sorry for frightening you.” To that, Jade put her hands up, then a frantic smile lit her face.

“No, No! I’m sorry for freaking out so much, that wasn’t nice.” She said, then looked away. She put a hand on her arm, feeling a little ashamed.

“It is okay. Now, I want to thank you for helping me. Without your first aid, I could have been hurt.” She wrote again, and Jade smiled.

“It’s no problem, I love to help.” She responded, and the woman flipped a page.

“Well, thank you. Anyway, as I’m sure you guessed, I’m that wolf from last night.” She said, and Jade’s eyes widened.

“So It’s true then. Are you a werewolf?” She asked, remembering the term from an internet site, and the woman nodded.

“Yes, I am. And unfortunately, I believe you may be one too.” She said, and Jade looked confused.

“What? Why? You only become a werewolf with bites, and you didn’t… bite me.” Her words slowed and she looked down to her leg. The area where the black wolf had bitten her was clearing up, but it looked like the puncture wounds moved. Instead of being in the shape of five wolf teeth, they moved on her skin to form a clawed paw print of sorts, and Jade gawked at it. The woman got her attention again.

“Yes, I’m afraid that you’ll become one. I am sorry, Ms.” She wrote, and Jade had to take a seat after hearing that. The brunette put a hand on her head, and she sat in shock. She shook her head, then looked up at the woman.

“What do I do?” “What am I going to do?” She had asked, and the woman let out a sigh. She began scribbling on her paper.

“I can help you get used to your werewolfiness- and all of its side effects.” The woman wrote, and Jade read it, but suddenly, another thought occurred to her.

“Wait, I can’t! I’m supposed to go live with my uncle!” She said, standing up instantly. “I have to talk to him!” The girl ran to the nearest phone, and called her cousin. The woman couldn’t vocally stop her, so she just stood there, trying to fix her tattered mail uniform dress. Immediately, her uncle Jake picked up the phone.

“Jade, Golly! What a pleasant surprise, I’m so excited to live with you in a few days, we’ll have so much fun!” Jade smiled a little at that, but had to cut in.

“Jake, something is really wrong. I know this sounds crazy-”

“Oh, Jade, I’ll believe you. I’ve seen some strange things.”

“Alright, well, I guess I’ll just say it. I got bitten last night- by a werewolf.” Jade only heard silence in response. She tried to fix her words, but he spoke up.

“Jade. I believe you, but I need you to listen to me very carefully.” He said, his voice becoming hushed, and serious. “I don’t think I can take you in.” He said, and when Jade made a sound of disbelief, he changed what he said. “Not because I wouldn’t take you in, but because I don’t think it’s safe for you here. Look- I’ve just started this job. I’m a teacher, yes, but I’m also a hunter- and I’m supposed to kill vampires, werewolves, demons, and other things. You name it, it’s my job to kill it. If you came here, they would find out, Jade. No matter how well you hide it, other hunters would know!” He paused, and Jade felt her heart hammering in her chest.

“Wh-What do I do?” She asked, feeling even more nervous. Jake let out a disgruntled sound.

“I- look. Okay, I’ll cancel your flight, Alright? We’ll figure something out, but it’s not safe in the states. There are hunters everywhere here, and most won’t care that you were attacked. I’ll see what I can do, Jade. Do you know who bit you? Or why?” He asked, and she nodded, then responded affirmatively.

“Yes, but I killed him. I- I didn’t know-” She said, her voice cracking. Her voice got smaller. “I didn’t know.” She spoke, and Jake sighed. During this time, PM started walking towards the girl, then put a comforting hand on her shoulder.

“No sweetie, it’s okay. You didn’t mean to, It’s okay, I understand. I can’t believe they bit you- that scum. Jade, I’ll cancel tomorrow’s plane, and I’ll see what we can do from there, alright?” He asked, and Jade sniffled, but agreed.

“Okay, and one more thing. There’s another werewolf, she’s right here. She didn’t hurt me. I, I think she’d going to help me.” She said, and Jake breathed out a sigh.

“Alright, thank you. I’ll check in with you soon Jade, but I have to go.” He responded, and Jade, trying to sound as upbeat as possible, responded.

“Okay! I’ll see you soon, Jake.” She said, and hung up. Immediately, she turned back to the other woman, then wrapped her arms around her. “Thank you.” Jade said, and the woman smiled as much as she could with her mouth-sewn shut, then hugged back.

____________

(Monday August 8 th)

Jade sighed. She’d waved at PM already this morning. Since that first night, maybe seven years ago, Jade had learned to be more in touch with her werewolf side. So, she did what she’d been doing for the past few years- she rearranged her garden. After a little work, she joined her mentor for lunch, then departed again to get on pester chum. Instead of her usual texts from Dave and Rose, she saw someone speak to her in a grey font.

CarcinoGenteticist (CG) began pestering GardenGnostic (GG).

CG: IS THIS JADE?

GG: Hi, that’s me

GG: Who are you?

GG: It’s nice to meet you!

Jade smiled. She didn’t know who this person was, but she was always happy to meet someone new.

CG: YOU DON’T EVEN KNOW ME.

And, Jade frowned.

GG: Well, the idea was for you to introduce yourself

CG: IS IT THAT HARD FOR YOU TO JUST FUCKING ASK?

GG: Check again, I did.

GG:: And frankly, you’re being pretty rude!

GG: Why did you even get my pesterchum?

CG: I’M LOOKING FOR SOMEONE

CG: CLEARLY NOT YOU

CG: I THINK DAVE DESCRIBED YOU WRONG

GG: You’re friends with Dave?

GG: Turntech Godhead?

CG: IT DOESN’T EVEN MATTER

CG: YOU’RE CLEARLY NOT WHO I’M LOOKING FOR

CG: BYE.

GG: Wow, are you a troll?

GG: Was that the idea here?

GG: If so, I hope you got a good laugh out of this.

GG: Have fun, jerk.

GardenGnostic (GG) ceased pestering CarcinoGeneticist (CG).

While Jade pushed away from her computer in annoyance, Karkat looked at his screen in shock. Had she just..won? Karkat shook his head. They weren’t even competing in anything, so he couldn’t imagine why the feeling that he’d just lost something didn’t fade away.

Karkat rolled his eyes. He had way more important things to deal with now, and that, was a soon to be angry Dave Strider. As the boy sat in the church, completing his homework, he couldn’t resist looking back at his screen. He predictably hadn’t received anything new, but Karkat still kept checking it anxiously. Of course, he was just worried that Strider would text him angrily. Definitely. Totally. So Karkat physically moved himself away, and it worked for a few minutes, until he found himself still looking towards the screen and hoping for a flash of green.

AN: Heh heh heh, you thought Jade wouldn’t join in? You thought wrong! I know I should be focusing on Dave and John, but they had a big drama moment, and I think I’m taking some time to build up some other people, before I continue the main plot. Next up, Roxy and Dad! You don’t want to miss out on that, so see you next week.

JAFNF Chapter 16

(Monday, August 8 th )

Roxy smiled at her screen. She’d just finished a conversation with her younger sibling, and was glad to have her help. After all, they had a big hunt coming up, and even she and Jake wouldn’t be enough to get this one. Her job’s start, she remembered, began ten years ago, after Jane’s death. Remarkably, up until her best friend’s untimely demise, everything had been going right in the trio’s lives. Jane had her child, Roxy finally decided to go to college and rid herself of her alcoholism, and Jake started learning how to be a teacher.

Jane and Roxy were the closest of friends, and Jake was a close second. The three had known each other since high school, when Roxy defended Jane from bullies about her weight, then Jake defended Roxy from the same bullies that turned on her. Ever since then, the three were inseparable. They all lived in high school together, and while Jane worked her first job at a bakery, Roxy fixed and was paid to do some questionable things on computers, and Jake started on his path towards his life’s dream, all of them were happy. Roxy started growing closer to Jane, to the point where she would stay with her friend, volunteer at her bakery, and make time to see her whenever she could. While Jane did the same, she didn’t feel the same way that Roxy felt about her. The two were always best friends, and Roxy didn’t let the fact that she was completely taken with the girl who could whip up a smile on a friend’s face almost as quickly as she could bake a cake ruin their relationship.

Then, Jane met him, Jacob Egbert. It was their senior year of high school, and a boy who looked too much like Jake (a fact that Roxy teased him endlessly about) volunteered at Jane’s bake sale. From then, the rest was fate.  Roxy’s dark haired friend fell for the man the loving smile, yet she didn’t drift farther away from Jane. To the contrary, the two got closer over it, and Jake ended up connecting with the two more too. Then, the pregnancy happened. Now, the baby wasn’t necessarily a mistake. Jane and Jacob clearly loved each other, but a little bundle of Joy named John didn’t coincide well with the plans of two eighteen year olds’ futures. As a result, Jane had to hold off on college once she exited high school. Instead, her firecracker of a friend didn’t let a baby get her down. She started her career as a baker, and by the time she had her wedding with Jacob, she was on the path to becoming a CEO of a gigantic company.  

The group of friends became successful for the next few years. Until, of course, the attack happened. It was the night of a full moon, and Roxy was babysitting John while a 25 year old Jane and her husband were out on a weeklong trip. The loving couple had good wishes for their seven-year-old son, and the two left.

Jane never returned from that trip. Over the time of the trip, Jane had been on a moonlit walk with her husband, when bounding out of the forest, a werewolf attacked Jane. Even when Jane ran away, the wolf saw Jane, and ran towards her. John’s father tried to protect his wife, but his hands were for baking and typing, not fighting. Eventually, the creature beat him, and went to bite her. The only problem was, when the creature wanted to go for her shoulder, the woman twisted in her attempt to get free, and it went for her neck. A bite that the shoulder would have withstood from the creature did not correlate with a bite on the neck.

The woman died instantly. The werewolf ran away after killing her, and the creature never surfaced again. Sure, Jacob brought Jane to the hospital, but the doctor could do nothing for a dead body. When Roxy heard the news, she started hunting, along with Jake. After they found and killed the wolf that hurt Jane, the two continued.  She eventually lost track of Jane’s husband, but that wasn’t as important. Roxy had already lost Jane, and she promised herself that these creatures- vampires, werewolves, daemons, and even trolls, wouldn’t hurt anyone ever again.

That was what she continued to do 10 years later. Roxy thumbed over an image of her deceased friend. Sure, she couldn’t save this one, but she could save the rest. The blonde stood up, then groaned as a phone alarm went off. She had a class soon, and she couldn’t be late. The girl made sure her holy water and dagger were in place, pulled on her black jacket, and headed out. Next week, some vampires would be dead.

(Tuesday, August 9 th )

The next day at school, John was, for the first time in a while, happy to enter the building. He’d entertained a conversation with Jade today, who wished him a good day at school after mildly complaining about some mysterious troller. Jade’s conversations always left him feeling better, and he wished she could have been here too. Still, he had Dave. Dave started walking John to and from school every now and then, and said he’d have his confrontation with Karkat later. As Dave dropped him off at his first period, John felt his thoughts wandering to his albino friend.

He loved his eyes. John hoped he wasn’t being creepy, but he just loved his friend’s eyes. They were the most unique things he’d ever seen, and John had a rapt fascination and appreciation for them. It was like his friend had two rubies attached to his face, and it was strange how he hadn’t noticed them before. Whenever the two were alone, Dave would take off the shades John bought him, and John absolutely adored every minute of it. John found himself doodling on his paper- a pastime he’d never taken part of before. Little shapes appeared on the page. John could identify swirls, smiley faces, and even hearts he’d drawn absentmindedly while In class.

In fifth period, John practically bounced over to his albino friend.

“Dave!” He’d chorused happily, and Ms. Maryam didn’t even bat an eye.

“Why, hello Mr. Egbert! How do you do on this fine day?” Dave had asked, and while John responded happily, Dave internally paused. What the heck had he just said? Luckily, John played along.

“Well, Sir Strider, I’m doing well, but it seems as if I need to reshelf some books.” He responded, and Dave just grinned.

“Hm, well, it seems as if it is this knight’s duty to assist you, Egbert.” He said, and John just grinned.

“Oh, It would pain me to force you to complete a task as mundane as this one.” Dave grabbed his friend dramatically, and the two moved in a little, between two book aisles.

“John Egbert, know this. Dave Strider is here to rescue you from your book dilemma! It is my life’s duty to help you! I shall always be there for you, so fear not!.” He said, and immediately, he grabbed a book from the boy’s hand, then found its place on the shelf and replaced it. “Always.” He said in the joking tone, and while John laughed, his serious words made his face burn.

“Yeah, I know Dave.” He said with a laugh, and Dave laughed a little too, but his voice changed to his regular one.

“Seriously though Egbert, I’m here for you if you need it.” He said, then a frown graced his face. “Speaking of which, I’ve got to talk to Karkat today. I know I can’t hurt Karkat, at least until I get the full story. But what about Caliborn? Can I at least break that guy’s face?” He asked, and John sighed, but frowned.

“No, I don’t want you to do that. As much as I hate him, I don’t think you should hurt him.” John said, and Dave sighed irritably.

“Fine, but let me know if you change your mind. I have a sword with his name on it.” Dave said, and John laughed. Of course, Dave could have been joking just as easily as he could have been honest.

“I’ll keep it in mind, knight.” He said, and Dave offered his friend a smirk.

“I’d be a pretty kick ass knight.” Dave said, picturing it. John, in turn, just laughed at the prospect of him wearing poofy clothing.

“Yeah, but think about what you’d have to wear. Do you want pants that go super wide, then curve back in?” John asked, and Dave frowned.

“No man, that would be so uncool. I’d wear armor or something. Actually, you’d probably be the dude in puffy pants, Egbert.” He said, and cracked a little smile. “Ha, that would be funny. Prince Nerdbert!” Dave said, and John crossed his arms, growing self conscious.

“I am not that nerdy.” He said, and Dave rolled his eyes. He quickly stood back in the book aisle, then looked around. The albino looked to the side, and realized that no one could see them. He took a deep breath, and removed his sunglasses. Immediately, he took John’s glasses off the boy’s face as well, and put them on his own face.

“Hi, I’m prince puffy-pants John! I like con air and terrible puns.” John crossed his arms, clearly unimpressed.

“Are you done?”John glared at him.

“And my glasses are so thick that I’m like Velma without them! But Oh no, I’m definitely not a nerd.” Dave said is sarcastically, and John crossed his arms.

“Dave. Take them off.” John glared up at him, and Dave could tell he was getting at least a little upset. He sighed, then took the glasses off, then slid his own sunglasses on again. John held his hand out. “Now give them to me.” He said, but Dave grinned.

“Try and catch me nerd!” He responded, and Dave took off running out of the library. John began to run after him.

“Dave, give them back!” He called, and Dave smirked.  “And I’m not that nerdy!” He ran towards the school’s outside seating area, and John was behind him. Of course, John wasn’t exactly athletic, so Dave didn’t have to do much to keep them away from him. Still, he was only teasing him, even as they ran around trees. The two ended up circling each other around an empty lunch table, temporarily drawing the attention of some of the people that ate outside.

“Come on, we’ll be late for next period at this point.” Dave taunted, and John glared.

“You ass, give them back!” Dave grinned as John circled the lunch table.

“Only if you admit that you’re the biggest nerd in the world.” Dave responded, and John crossed his arms.

“I am not!” He cried indignantly, and Dave smirked, noticing the people around them.

“What was that thing you had when you were thirteen? It was like a sh-” Embarassed, and self conscious, John interjected.

“Fine! Okay, I’m the biggest nerd in the world, give them back!” John said,  and Dave grinned.

“Pleasure doing business with you, John.” John glared at Dave, who began walking back inside with John.

“I’m getting you back for that, hard.” The raven haired boy said, and once Dave stopped laughing, he smirked.

“I look forward to it.”

AN:  So, in case you couldn’t tell this was JohnDave before… it’s definitely John Dave. Yeah. There are some side pairings, and I’m not sure if I’ll do roxy x dad or roxy x calliope for this. I don’t know! Anyway, sorry for making Dave such an ass, but come on. He’s kind of an ass.

JAFNF Chapter 17

(Tuesday, August 9 th )

After school that day, Dave finished walking John home, then returned to the school. Caliborn wasn’t even there, a fact that both confused and relieved Dave. Eventually, Dave ended up at school, then had his lesson with Dolorosa. Karkat looked like he wanted to talk about something, but Dave was sure it could wait until what he needed to ask him. Eventually, Dolorosa helped him turn off his glow in the dark ability, and figure out how to turn it on too. The class ended, and both Karkat and Dave left. Instead of calling Dirk, Dave waited for Karkat.

“Karkat. Hi.” He said, and immediately the boy started talking.

“Hi, Strider. You know that girl you were friends with? Jade? Well, that stuff you said about her possibly being our positive payment for John was some complete shit. She just started talking, and… I don’t even know! Either way, she’s definitely not nice enough to be this kindness eater’s food.” Karkat huffed angrily. Dave was upset, but he was intrigued about this. After all, Jade was the kindest person he’d ever met, even more so than John.

“What did she say?” Dave asked, and Karkat pulled out his phone, then unlocked the screen. Their conversation was already up.

“See! Look at this absolute shit and tell me that she’s pure or whatever.” Karkat grumbled, yet Dave was unimpressed. Yes, Jade called him a troll, but that’s what he was doing- trolling her! So, Dave shook his head.

“I don’t see the issue. Why are you still obsessing over this?” Dave asked, and Karkat just made angry noises without responding coherently. “Actually, no. I can’t hear a rant. I need to talk to you, Vantas.” Dave said, and immediately, Karkat went still.

“About what, fuckwad?” He asked, trying to sound normal. Dave could feel his anxiety, and raised an eyebrow.

“About you and Caliborn shitting on my man Egbert. I want an explanation, now.” Dave said. Karkat seemed to crumple at those words. Letting out an ashamed sigh, Karkat began to speak.

“Alright, I owe you one, and John too, but he can’t hear it. Fine, here goes. Caliborn is feeding off of John’s misery.” He said, and Dave urged him to continue. “A long, long time ago, in like, 6 th grade, I got turned into a vampire. Against my will. Now, I don’t know if you’ve heard the stories about hunters burning witches, but I’m pretty sure they’d do the same to a vampire.” Karkat stopped for a second, and Dave broke in.

“Yeah, they bathe you in holy water and watch you burn. So what? It’s not like it’s easy for them to catch you.” Dave said, unsatisfied.

“Well, douche bag, it is when the priest is your fucking father. And you know what happens when the church finds out about supernaturals. Being alive was a risk.” He said, and sighed. “And things just got worse. I met Caliborn before knowing about how Dolorosa helps out vampires. Instead of helping me though, he  used the fact that I’m a vampire against me. He wasn’t afraid of exposing me at all. For a while, he made me do stuff for him that got me in trouble, so he could feed off me. I was his source for misery, aka the thing he feeds off, for a while and it was terrible. Eventually though, I couldn’t deal with that.” Dave was silent, but he spoke up at that point.

“So, what did you do?”

“I knew what he wanted- misery. And if I couldn’t let him get it from me, I had to let him have it from some other source, also known as John.” Karkat paused, and a little shame entered his usually angry tone. “I knew that his home life was rough, but I never learned the details, besides the fact that his mom died. Caliborn jumped at the opportunity.” He said. “It started off small- picking up little pieces of John’s misery while he tripped him in the hallway or spent his papers flying out of his hands. As we got older, Caliborn wanted more, and he wanted my help. And if I didn’t help him, he could just go back to feeding off me.”

“Did you hurt John?” Dave asked, and Karkat frowned.

“I did, and I didn’t. Caliborn found out about how John and I used to be friends, then made me stand there and do nothing while he collected John’s misery. He wanted me to start helping, by physically hurting him, but I said no. I ended up learning about Dolorosa, who taught me to get rid of my blood signature. He can’t feed off me anymore. Caliborn backed off a little. I felt guilty about letting him feed off John after a while, and I told him to switch back to feeding off of me. But he didn’t want to. I guess John was becoming an even better source of misery than I would have been. I still could re-open my blood signature again, but it wouldn’t do any good. He’d still keep feeding off John’s blood signature, and opening myself up as a target again would just make him more powerful. Now, he keeps me around with the threat to expose me as a vampire, but he’s laid off me a lot.” Karkat said, and Dave sighed.

“Alright, I knew that there had to be a reason. Why don’t I just kick this guy’s ass?” He asked, and Karkat frowned.

“He’d a cherub. That’s way too powerful for even a pureblood to fight. You’d die before you even got close to hurting him- trust me.” Karkat argued, but Dave groaned.

“Well, he can’t just keep bullying John!”

“I already offered myself to him! He’s not going off of John unless we find a more powerful misery source, and that just makes the same problem again.” Dave ran a hand through his hair. He took in a deep breath.

“Fine.” He thought for a second. “You said Caliborn’s a cherub. Dolorosa’s friend is supposed to be one too. Maybe she could be an even match for him?” He questioned, and Karkat considered Dave’s words.

“I guess. It could work.” He said, and frowned. “But Cherubs get their power from feeding off other species. If Dolorosa’s friend feeds off of happiness and pure of heart shit, we still need to find her someone to feed off of for her to stand a chance against Caliborn.”  Dave rolled his eyes.

“I still can’t see why we can’t use Jade.” Dave asked, and Karkat’s ears burned in anger.

“Because, she’s infuriating!”

“Well, maybe because you were just naturally rude to her. Either way, I think she’ll be perfect.” Dave said, and Karkat groaned.

“Is that really the nicest person you can manage to find?” Karkat asked. “If so, good luck with this happiness feeding.” The albino smirked a little in response.

“Alright, what about this? I’ll have her talk to Dolorosa’s friend. If it works, she’s good, if not, we figure something else out.” He said, and Karkat reluctantly nodded.

“Fine, but don’t hold your breath on this one Strider. She’s not as nice as you think.”

“Whatever you say, Karkat. Now, can we tell Dolorosa so the two can talk?” Dave asked. The two were still standing in the empty library. Karkat responded affirmatively, and Dolorosa immediately contacted her friend.

(Tuesday, January 9 th )

Jade was running around, now as a wolf. She’d been converted into a (relatively, for a wolf) small, black canine as she ran through the forest happily. PM joined her for the run, and she enjoyed the exercise until she needed to return to her house, because it was late. PM returned to her designated section of the island rather peacefully, and Jade decided she’d log onto her computer before bed.

She found another unknown pester chummer with grey text. Still, the person could have been different, or that troll from before could be apologizing. Jade took her chances and answered.

UranianUmbra (UU) began pestering GardenGnostic (GG).

UU: Hello there, darling!

GG: Oh, hi!

GG: It’s nice to meet you

GG: I’m Jade

UU: It’s a pleasUre to meet you too

UU: I am calliope.

GG: That’s a really pretty name!

UU: Thank yoU, Ms. Jade!

GG: So, are you a sburber too?

Sburb was an online fighting game that Jade played, and most users used their pesterchum handles as their screen names. Jade had gotten to know a few people this way, but the most memorable were Rose, Dave, and John.

UU: I’m afraid not, dear.

UU: Actually, I’m contacting yoU for qUite a different purpose.

GG: Oh, okay!

GG: That’s fine, what do you need?

UU: YoU’re not going to ask?

GG: Well, eventually I’d like to know

GG: But if something is going on, I want to help out in whatever way I can!

UU: Oh, that’s

UU: Excellent actually, Darling. YoU can’t imagine how happy yoU’ve made me!

UU: Thank yoU so mUch dear, that’s all I needed to hear

UU: I look forward to contacting yoU later, Lady Jade.

UU: See yoU again, dearie!

GG: Bye? See you soon, I guess!

UranianUmbra (UU) ceased pestering GardenGnostic (GG).

Calliope found a grin stretching itself on her face. She was so hungry- and finally, she would have a proper meal, then have enough ability to stand up to her brother. Sure, she was okay now, but when she met this Jade, Calliope was confident that she’d give her a powerful edge over her brother. All she had to do was wait a week.

The girl’s green eyes lit with anticipation, and she spun in the chair, moving her short hair. She felt her cheek swirls glow a little, but eventually hid them behind her dark skin. Once she reached the computer again, Calliope got on, deciding to talk to the person who referred her to this Jade directly.

UranianUmbra (UU) began pestering Turntech Godhead (TG).

UU: She’s absolUtely perfect.

UranianUmbra (UU) ceased pestering Turntech Godhead (TG).

Dave looked at the short conversation, then smirked. Immediately, he sent a screenshot to Karkat. The boy didn’t reply, but Dave could have sworn he heard a frustrated scream from the other side of town, and he laughed.

JAFNF Chapter 18

(Tuesday, August 9 th )

TurntechGodhead (TG) began pestering GardenGnostic (GG).

TG: Congrats Jade!

TG: You got the job

GG: Oh, Hi Dave!

GG: I got a job?

TG: Oh, I guess Calliope didn’t really do that explaining thing

TG: Well, here’s the story

TG: You can’t tell John or Rose

TG: Also, you’re visiting us next week

GG: Really?

GG: Dave is this a Joke

GG: I mean, bad jokes are more John’s thing

TG: It’s not a joke

TG: As long as you accept, and stuff

TG: Okay, here’s the deal

TG: I’m a vampire, and I need to get rid of some hunters

TG: Please don’t mention that to Rose and John

TG: That’s kind of a big fucking deal

GG: Yeah, okay Dave, I understand

GG: Anyway, what’s up?

TG: Well, I’m being hunted

TG: Because I’m a pureblood, or whatever qualifies them to drown me in holy water

TG: Either way

TG: We’re uh, reverse hunting, I guess.

TG: I don’t want John to get hurt because of this

TG: So, We’ve got a friend that will act as bait

TG: And pretend to be me

TG: She gets them far away from me, and then uh, takes care of them

TG: and bam

TG: Hunters gone

TG: Like a cleaning commercial, but with crazy murderers

GG: I’ve heard that hunters are pretty evil.

GG: How do I help?

TG: Well, our friend

TG: She feeds off happiness

TG: But she needs a super happy nice person to keep her energy up or whatever

TG: Like a battery

TG: But also like a friend

TG: That’s Calliope

TG: She needs your help running across the country

TG: But as me and my bro

TG: She does illusion shit

TG: So we need you to run away from some hunters and pretend to be in your 30s for me

GG: Wow

TG: Sorry

TG: That’s kind of a lot to take in

TG: I’m not going twilight on you and stalking you

TG: And I don’t sparkle In the sun

TG: That’s dumb

GG: No, it’s okay

GG: I kind of get it

GG: I mean, I’m a werewolf

TG: What?

TG: Oh thank gob

TG: I didn’t want to have to convince you that I exist

TG: Anyway, cool

GG: You too

GG: Wait, how will I get off my island in

GG: A week?

TG: I think Calliope will pick you up

GG: Why not just do it asap

GG: Not that I’m complaining

TG: Calliope likes to eat during full moons

TG: Oh wait

TG: That moon isn’t going to

TG: Mess you up, right?

GG: Nah, I mean

GG: Well, yeah

GG: But if she can make me look like your brother

GG: I can look like not a wolf too right?

TG: Oh yeah, probably

TG: Well, cool!

TG: I can’t wait to see you next week

GG: Yeah, the four of us will be together

GG: That’s going to be so great!

GG: Haha, John’s going to make us watch Nic Cage

TG: Oh man, you’re right

TG: You should tell Rose and John the news

TG: Minus the whole

TG: Vampire werewolf thing

GG: Yeah, Okay!

GG: See you later, Dave!

GardenGnostic (GG) ceased pestering Turntech Godhead (TG).

When Karkat heard the news, he did indeed scream. Of course, this girl, of all people, would be stuck doing this. Forget waiting for her to pester him, he needed to talk to this girl, now.

Carcino Geneticist (CG) began pestering Garden Gnostic (GG).

CG: OKAY, YOU’VE GOT TO BE FUCKING KIDDING ME.

Jade looked at her computer again, then frowned. It was clearly not Calliope, but she decided that she’d entertain this, even for a little while.

GG: Oh, It’s you

GG: Was the first time not enough?

GG: Sorry CG, but I’m not in the mood for trolling today

GG: I got some really great news

CG: I GOT THE FUCKING NEWS TOO.

CG: I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU ACTUALLY PASSED HER GOOD PERSON TEST

GG: Why?

GG: What did I even do to you?

CG: WHAT DO YOU MEAN, WHAT DID YOU DO?

GG: You heard me

GG: You’re a random stranger that won’t even give me their name

GG: And the first thing you do is act rude to me!

GG: So excuse me if I ended a conversation with you

GG: Because you were rude for no reason!

CG: LOOK, PRINCESS

CG: I’M NOT THRILLED TO BE WORKING WITH YOU EITHER

CG: BUT AS THE UNOFFICIAL LEADER OF THIS LITTLE ESCAPADE WE’RE DOING

CG: I REALIZE THAT WE NEED TO WORK TOGETHER

CG: IF WE’RE GOING TO AVOID GETTING OUR FRIENDS AND LOVED ONES KILLED

CG: IT’S…COMPLICATED.

CG: IF YOU FOLLOW YOUR PART OF THE PLAN, YOU SHOULD BE SAFE

CG: EVEN IF YOU ARE, FUNCTIONALLY, BAIT.

GG: I still fail to see your function in this operation

GG: But I’m glad to help

GG: As long as I’m not stuck with you!

CG: YOU’RE NO RAY OF SUNSHINE EITHER

CG: I DON’T EVEN KNOW HOW YOU PASSED HER KINDNESS TEST

CG: AM I THE ONLY ONE WHO REALIZES THAT YOU CLEARLY ARE NOT?

GG: No,

GG: But I’m fairly sure that you’re the only one that sees yourself as a big part of this operation

GG: That apparently has more riding on it than I expected

CG: OH, HERE WE GO

CG: LITTLE MS. JADE IS TRYING TO DO WHAT

CG: DISCREDIT ME

CG: BASED ON THE ZERO KNOWLEDGE SHE HAS OF THIS SITUATION

CG: OH, HELLO THERE JADE

CG: I KNOW YOU KNOW NOTHING ABOUT WHAT’S GOING ON

CG: BECAUSE THERE IS NO WAY THAT DAVE COULD ACTUALLY TEXT YOU ALL OF THE DETAILS IN THAT TWO MINUTE CONVERSATION YOU HAD

CG: BUT THAT’S ABSOLUTELY OKAY

CG: YOU MUST BE THE MOST KNOWLEDGEABLE ONE HERE!

GG: I can’t believe I went for this

GG: This was just a setup to be patronizing

GG: And troll me more!

CG: TELL ME JADE

CG: COULD YOU REVEAL THE SECRETS OF THE MYTHICAL VAMPIRE UNIVERSE TO ME

CG: BECAUSE YOU’RE JUST THE EPITOME OF WISDOM?

GG: aaaa! I can’t even take this

GG: I don’t know why I even fell for this

GG: There wasn’t even anything to fall for!

CG: DO MY EYES DECEIVE ME?

CG: DOES THE GREAT, ALL KNOWING JADE ADMIT SHE DOESN’T KNOW SOMETHING?

CG: WILL THE WORLD EXPLODE NOW?

GG: I can’t take this anymore!

GG: Goodbye!

GG: Please, never contact me again!

CG: IT DOESN’T WORK LIKE THAT, O WISE ONE.

CG: HAVE YOU BEEN SLEEPING THROUGH OUR CONVERSATION?

CG: IS SLEEPING BEAUTY FINALLY WAKING UP?

CG: CLEARLY, I WOULDN’T BE TALKING TO YOU IF I DIDN’T HAVE TO!

CG: WE’RE STUCK WORKING ON THIS PROJECT

CG: BECAUSE YOU HAD TO ACT KIND TO SOME RANDOM PERSON ON THE INTERNET

CG: EVEN THOUGH IT’S CLEAR THAT YOU ARE NOT

GG: It’s not my fault that I’m nice and I help my friends!

GG: I didn’t vote to get stuck working under the ‘leadership’ of someone like you!

GG: I don’t even know who you are!!!!

CG: WELL, NEWSFLASH JADE

CG: MY LEADERSHIP IS GOING TO BE THE ONLY REASON WHY JOHN, AND DAVE, AND WHATEVER OTHER FRIENDS YOU DON’T WANT DEAD ARE ALIVE!

CG: SO EXCUSE ME IF I’M TRYING TO HELP

CG: IF IT WEREN’T FOR ME, JOHN COULD HAVE BEEN KIDNAPPED AGES AGO

CG: AND DAVE WOULD BE A BURNT BAT CORPSE!

CG: I DIDN’T HAVE TO INVOLVE MYSELF IN THIS

CG: BUT I FUCKING DID.

GG: Well, I didn’t have to either!

GG: But I did!

GG: You’re nothing special, you’re just some troll!

CG: WELL, YOU’RE JUST SOME UNAPPRECIATIVE PERSON WHOSE ONLY FUNCTIONAL ROLE IS BEING A FUCKING BATTERY

CG: YOU’RE NOT EVEN QUALIFIED TO BE BAIT

CG: BECAUSE THEY’RE CHASING AFTER DAVE, NOT YOU!

GG: You say you’re a leader

GG: But I literally haven’t heard one word of anything you actually plan to do!

GG: You had one conversation, once

GG: and suddenly you think you’re vital to this?

GG: You’re even less vital than me!

CG: FOR YOUR INFORMATION, SLEEPY JADE, I’M DOING STUFF TOO

CG: THINGS THAT DIRECTLY IMPACT YOUR FRIENDS!

CG: SO, IF YOU’LL EXCUSE ME

CG: I’M OFF TO GO HELP SAVE YOUR FRIENDS’ LIVES

CG: YOU CAN GO BACK TO SLEEP, IF YOU WANT

CG: THAT’S THE AMOUNT OF FUNCTIONALITY YOU HAVE ANYWAY

Carcino Geneticist (CG) ceased pestering Garden Gnostic (GG).

On Karkat’s end, he couldn’t shake the feeling of victory, while Jade rolled her chair away from the computer. She couldn’t resist the urge to scream in frustration, so she literally held a pillow, then pushed her face into it. How was this one troll so ridiculously infuriating? Jade shook her head, then reached onto pesterchum. She couldn’t really talk about this without mentioning the vampire side of it, so Jade automatically went to Dave.

After doing the texting equivalent of nodding along in a conversation for an hour, Dave burst into a sort of tired laughter. He was glad Jade couldn’t hear him, because she would probably punch him. Still, the ridiculously of the situation humored him, even past an ironic level. When Karkat wasn’t complaining to him about Jade, Jade seemed to be complaining to Dave about Karkat. He could tell Jade was getting upset, but he still couldn’t wait to see her. Actually, he had to tell Calliope to pick Jade up by the weekend. Dave paused, but decided that he’d do it later.

Eventually, Dave logged off to see if he could spar with his brother, but not before wishing John a good night too.

TurntechGodhead (TG) began pestering EctoBiologist (EB)

TG: Jooooooooohn

EB: Daaaaaaaveee?

EB: Haha what was that

TG: I don’t even know

TG: Probably another way

TG: My coolness is trying to escape

TG: But it can’t leave

TG: It’s too bound by this cool guy

EB: Wait…what?

TG: I don’t even know John

TG: Anyway, I just wanted to say goodnight

EB: Oh! Goodnight Dave!

TG: Ah wait Egbert something else too

TG: You know how rose is coming into town

EB: Yeah! I’m so excited

TG: Well, we have a certain Garden Gnostic that’s joining us too

EB: Wait, GG?

EB: Jade?!

EB: WHAT!

TG: Haha calm down, you egdork

TG: But yeah

TG: she is

EB: This is going to be the greatest!

EB: We can enact all of those weird first meet up dreams we’ve had

TG: Yeah

TG: Well, that’s all the tricks

TG: That I have up my sleeve

TG: so goodnight

TG: Okay, I’ll disappear now

TG: magician style

EB: Haha Dave

EB: Night

TG: Poof

TurntechGodhead (TG) ceased pestering EctoBiologist (EB).

John Egbert’s heart was swelling with positive anticipation. He couldn’t wait to see his friends in person. Hopefully they would watch con air and do whatever else teenagers did when they finally met up with each other. Actually, he realized that he had to share the news with Rose! So, John put aside his math homework, then picked up his phone again. Immediately, He went to text Rose.

Meanwhile, Rose was preparing a bag. She knew she needed to pack lightly for this trip, but her kindle and other reading helpers were not negotionable items to take. Immediately, she thought back to her beloved older sibling. While both Rose and her sister had an affinity for the supernatural, neither of them realized that it would manifest itself in this way. Still, Rose was ecstatic at the idea that she could help out her sibling, especially with the magic she’d been dying to try out. Plus, the added bonus of seeing her friends for the first time, now including Jade, made her even more giddy for this trip.

She would leave this week, but arrive before their project, and Rose could meet her friends over the weekend. Apparently, Roxy had to call in a more precise hunter, because her target figured out how to disguise his blood signature. Luckily, Rose had a remedy for that. She remembered how heartbroken her sister had been when her friend originally died, and if it meant that they could stop the creatures that did that to innocent people, along with being, well, badass slayers, Rose was all for it. Actually, she wanted to talk to her sister about her upcoming voyage.

Tentacle Tharapist (TT) began pestering Tipsy Gonalgist (TG)

TT: Hello, sister

TT: I must say, I’m quite excited for my trip

TG: Hey Rosie!

TG: Yeah, me too

TG: how’s mom doing?

TT: Oh, she’s the same as ever

TG: That’s giod

TG*Good

TT: Anyway, do you happen to contain any more pertinent information to our cause?

TG: Oh, well thers one thing

TG*Theirs

TT: Not to be a butthurt, if you will, but the correct grammatical form is ‘there is’

TG: Damnit

TG: Why you gotta be so good rosie

TT: Thank you, Roxy

TG: Oh, but about the case

TG: This ones preying on some poor kid

TG: The old wraparound, makes them think their friends

TG: Then sucks his blood

TG: I can tell, he wants him

TT: Of course. How horrific

TT: It hurts me that they would prey on innocent people

TG: But that’s why we’ll stop him, right rosie?

TT: Of course.

TT: But this only makes me more eager

TT: Thank you, sister

TT: Also, I’ll be meeting a few friends while in Washington

TG: Okay cool

TG: You do your thing

TG: Jakey and I will get the main stuff

TG: We can figure out the rest, huh

TT: Yes, we can

TT: Well, It appears that I will see you soon,  Roxy

TG: See you soon too, Rosie!

Tentacle Tharapist (TT) ceased pestering Tipsy Gonalgist (TG)

AN: I finally put a little Rose in here! We’re really just knocking out those main characters, huh?

JAFNF Chapter 19

(Wednesday, August 10 th )

Today was the day. Roxy’s sister would come in today, and he needed to get her acquainted with all of her hunting supplies. While Jake knew that her sister was incredibly capable, offering her a little hunter’s trade secrets didn’t seem like a bad idea, especially if the intellectual high school student was to be called in for fighting. And, considering that they were going against a pureblood, one whose identity, ability, and other information was unknown by him, a little extra backup couldn’t hurt. So, the day Rose Lalonde set foot in Washington state, both Jake and Roxy were there to greet her.

“Hello Roxy, and you must be Mr. English. It’s an absolute delight to meet you.” She said, and Jake smiled at her politeness.

“Why, it’s a pleasure to meet you, Ms. Lalonde. Thank you ever so much for your assistance.” Rose smiled at that. The two were ready to continue their conversation, but Roxy broke in, then entrapped her sister in a hug.

“Rosie! Gob, it’s so good to see you! Ah, you’re the best little sis. Killing vampires and kicking ass!”

“I suppose the Lalondes are at it again.” Rose said, and Roxy cheered. As Rose held her bag, she looked up at the two adults.

“Can I put my things down now?” She asked, and Roxy grinned in response.

“Sure sis, the car’s over this way.” She said, pointing to a drop-off lane. Jake, ever the gentleman, held Rose’s suitcase, then loaded it into the car. Jake then walked into the car’s driver seat, Roxy gleefully called shotgun, and the hunter trio drove back to their house.

After a 30-minute class on hunter fighting basics, Jake decided that Rose’s best weapon, while unconventional, would be better for her than the usual dagger.  So, he approved the use of her gigantic silver needle/wand things, provided that they were dipped in some holy water mixture she found on the internet. The girl, after a quick warm up, seemed more than ready to start the job, but Roxy and Jake still had a few more materials to grab before they re opened the pureblood signature.

Since Roxy went shopping the first time for their materials, it they decided that Jake would do it at the next occurrence. So, as the pair of sisters went out to catch up, Jake was stuck shopping for vampire hunting materials. As he stopped at one of his favorite gun shops, Jake smiled at the owner, then picked up his usual hunting gear- wooden bullets, with a unique silver core for added solidity.  The man had a childlike fascination with guns, and the idea that he could fire a bullet, then splitter a vampire’s heart, as opposed to using a steak, was definitely an idea he liked. He stocked up, flashed his gun license, then the man rang him up, and he left.

Roxy’s form of fighting was probably the most normal out of all of theirs. She had a silver sword with a blue handle. It was easy to use, and deadly if necessary. Jake still remembered how cool and terrifying it looked, sticking out of- well, as long as the three were prepared for their hunting, Jake didn’t really care how they fought. He hoped Rose wouldn’t be fighting though. After all, she was mainly here to track blood signatures, not do the actual dirty work. Still, Jake didn’t necessarily call it dirty work. Well, he compared it to taking out the trash. Not that these creatures were trash, but preying on innocent people, especially people like his niece and his friend, caused him to feel less disgusted by the fact that he was literally killing people. Or, he supposed he was killing vampires, but still.

After finally collecting the items on their list, Jake decided that he’d actually get some work done, considering the fact that he’d be busy over the next few days. Of course, any notion of finishing work evaporated when he’d seen Dirk’s text, but he eventually got a few piles of pages done. For the most part, they were correct, and Jake enjoyed putting a 100 at the top of John’s paper, in particular. He noticed the boy had been a lot happier lately, and he was happy that Dave’s presence affected him so positively.

Now, the matter of Dave Strider was another one entirely. He knew that Dirk hadn’t shared any information on their status with the boy, and frankly, he was happy about that. It stopped any dirty looks and rumors from across the classroom about the two’s involvement with each other in their personal lives.  Jake was happy to have a strictly professional, student- teacher only relationship with Dave, and just hoped that he wouldn’t find out about anything more.

_-------------_

(Wednesday, August 10 th )

Today was the day. That’s what Jade had been saying when she realized that she’d have a visitor to her island today.  PM decided that she’d help her out in America if she needed a friendly adult/ fake parent, but she couldn’t be with Jade while they acted as bait. Jade now had the prospect of meeting four friends IRL in one weekend.  Jade wasn’t sure what she should pack, so instead she put together a little ‘go bag’, filled with first aid stuff and essentials, then waited.

Jade did not own a doorbell; after all, there was never a need for one. So she decided that if she did ever install one, it would be like the metaphorical doorbell Calliope used. Her entrance was spectacular, and everything exploded in green light when she entered. She knew Bec could care for himself while she was gone, so Jade left without any complaint.

“Hi!” She greeted the girl cheerfully. The young woman had short, curly, dark black/brown hair, and wore clothes that Jade would have died from the heat wearing here. She had bright green swirls over her dark brown cheeks, and a bright smile that continued all the way up to her identically green eyes.

“Oh, Jade! It’s fantastic to meet you!” Jade grinned giddily at the fact that she was finally meeting someone again.

“Hi! It’s nice to meet you too!” Jade said, and she was almost surprised at the sound of her own voice. “Oh, wait, before you go, should I have packed more?” She asked, and Calliope shrugged.  In truth, she could magic anything the girl needed into existence. Still, if she were to be hurt, or tired, it would be smart to have something physical with her.

“I don’t think it’s necessary. After all, we should only be travelling for less than a week. Bring an extra pair or two though, just in case.” Calliope said, and immediately Jade nodded, then went over to her wardrobifier.

“Oh, what should I choose?” She asked, and a little grin lit Calliope’s face.

“I may be able to help.” She said, and immediately, Jade invited her over.

After getting clothes, then just trying on various outfits for a few hours, Calliope settled back into her usual bowtie, suspenders and skirt, and Jade had some clothes to wear for her trip.

“We should be okay now- also, thanks for dress up. I’ve never actually done that with real clothes.” She said, and Jade was intrigued.

“Oh, do you do it differently?” She asked and immediately calliope reached to her skirt pocket. She pulled out a wand that was significantly larger than the size of the actual hole in her skirt, then waved it around. White light filled the room, and immediately, Jade stood in a bright pink outfit. The girl clapped in delight, then looked up at her newfound friend. “That’s incredible! I can’t believe you could do that, that’s cool!” Calliope just laughed.

“Oh, thanks. I’m pretty good at magic.” She confessed, and after getting PM to join them, the girls were off to Washington. Eventually, Jade pulled out a phone, then spoke to all of her friends. They decided that they’d meet at John’s house tomorrow, and figure out what to do from there. Dave, his older brother, Dolorosa and Karkat (whoever they were) would meet with the two girls soon, then start their plan. After all, it was only Friday, and they didn't need to act out their plan until the following Tuesday. They had a little time to relax.

And relax, they did. Jade used the remainder of day to get to know Calliope better.  PM asked to be dropped off in her old town, and decided that she’d join them when they needed to meet the next day. Jade and Calliope looked around her hometown with her, then teleported to see a multitude of sites. Eventually, the two decided that they’d rest, and Calliope teleported them away to an empty hotel room for the night.

(Wednesday, August 10 th )

John did the opposite of relax. When he heard that his friends were coming to his home, he immediately went out and bought everything he remembered as their favorite foods, because he’d never had friends over. After buying apple pie, apple juice,  fruits, gushers, orange creamsicles, and every other food he and his friends had ever mentioned in an online conversation ever, John realized that he may have a little too much. Not that it mattered, he could just place the extras in the pantry. John made sure he had his mint condition Con Air, along with completing all of his homework. Eventually, John realized that he couldn’t prepare any more, then went to sleep, almost shaking with anticipation.

\----------------------------_____

(Thursday, January 11 th )

The next morning at school, John visited Dave’s first period, a fact that gave the albino a brighter outlook on the math class. His friend practically pounced on him, and while Dave made sure his shades were on and looked impassive, he was pretty excited. Eventually, John left Dave, but when they met again in lunch, he could see the boy bouncing as he walked.

“Okay, what do you think Jade will look like?” John asked, and Dave shrugged.

“Hm, probably super neat, short hair and glasses.” Dave said, and John raised an eyebrow.

“What? She’s lived on an island forever now! She’s probably like, swinging through vines or something, not combing her hair!”

“Hey, hair care is important.” Dave said indignantly, and John laughed a little.

“Maybe to you.” He said, offering his friend a little poke to the hair. Dave tried not to replace the strands immediately, but got back on topic.

“Okay, what about Rose?” He asked, and John answered.

“I always imagined her as one of those rocker goth girls with the red and black hair.” John responded, and Dave snorted.

“That’s not what I imagined.” Dave said, and John looked at him curiously.

“What did you imagine before you saw me?” He asked, and Dave had to pause and think about the time in his life before real life John Egbert.

“Hm, I always thought you’d wear a bow tie, and glasses. And your hair would always be super, super neat.” He said, shrugging. “Not that it really matters- I like how you look now.” Dave responded, and John grinned. He was about to say something, but he cut himself off.

“Wait, Dave!” He said, and the boy raised a white eyebrow at him.

“Sup Egbert?”

“I haven’t heard one of your raps in ages!” He said, and Dave immediately realized that it was true.

“Hm, I probably can’t throw down these sick fires in the library. How about when everyone comes over to your place, I treat you to a rap, Strider style.”

“Awesome!” John said, and he meant it. He was excited.

_____--------_____

So, we’ve got a meet up scheduled soon, and Jade!

JAFNF Chapter 20

(Thursday, August 11 th )

John was excited, to say the least. To say the most, he was practically skipping home. The boy got confirmation of his friend’s meetup from both Jade and Rose, and Dave was there because he regularly walked the boy home. Today, however, he had no intention of returning to his house until much later. The four could even pull off a sleepover, if Rose and Jade’s guardians were okay with it. Upon entering his home, John placed his backpack on the ground, then brought out the excessive amount of food that he’d purchased last night, all while Dave stared between the boy and the growing pile of food in disbelief.

“Egbert… Is this every food we’ve ever mentioned?” Dave asked, but John shook his head.

“No, I don’t have any crab sauce, because that was in a conversation about what we thought was gross.” John reasoned, then slowly began to panic. “Wait, do you think I should have brought that too?” he asked, and Dave shook his head, bewildered.

“No, that’s just a lot of food.” He said, and John shrugged.

“I wasn’t sure what they wanted.” He responded, and Dave shook his head.

“Yeah Egbert, but that’s a lot a lot of food. Are you sure you want to put all of this out?” He asked, and John was about to say yes, but self doubt kicked in.

“I, yes. But also no. I don’t know!” He said, placing an eggplant on the table. “Oh man, what do I do?” He asked, and Dave sighed.

“Alright, just don’t freak out. Now, I’m not any more experienced than this, but I think we start with the chips.” He said, and John immediately moved every non chip item back. “And maybe like, drinks? Oh, you got apple juice!” Dave said, and John nodded.

“Yeah, I mean, I know you like it, so I bought some.” John said. Dave looked down at his favored, golden liquid, but decided he’d wait until later to drink it.

“Thanks, Egdork. Anyway, when is everyone showing up?” Dave asked, and in response, John shrugged.

“Uh, they said around sixteen.” He responded, and Dave looked up at a clock in John’s house.

“John, they’ll be here in five minutes!” Dave said, then looked around for his sunglasses. Dave had developed a habit of taking them off around John, but he still needed them for first impressions. “Shit!” He said, and John couldn’t help but agree. After a few minutes of searching with no results, John heard a doorbell.

“Uh, One second!” He called, trying to find Dave’s sunglasses. After still lacking luck, Dave sighed.

“Let them in, I’ll check somewhere else!” He said, and John frowned.

“You sure?” He asked, and Dave faltered, but nodded. He couldn’t keep his back to his friends forever. John walked to the front door, trying not to show how nervous he was. He ran a hand through his perpetually messy hair, and opened the door.

Two smiling adolescents stood before John, and immediately, a gigantic grin split his face open. Of course Rose would have a gothic look with dark black lipstick, the sharply contrasted eyes, the long elegant, yet casual dress. John didn’t know why he expected anything different, and the same could be said for Jade. Her gigantic mop of messy hair fit her personality to a tee, and John couldn’t fathom how he’d even imagined her without those gigantic glasses.

“Rose, Jade!” He said, breaking the awed silence between the three. He wanted to scream in delight, and from their faces, he could tell that they wanted to do the same. “I, uh, wow!” He tried to speak, but the words wouldn’t come. Then, Jade tried to speak, but her mouth just stretched into a wider smile. John was so John like! Dave was walking around, trying to search everywhere for his sunglasses, but he couldn’t find them. Eventually, he decided that he’d Just Strider up (because manning up isn’t cool enough) and face his friends, sans sunglasses.  “Oh, one second!” He heard John say. Just as the two girls started to walk in, John sprinted past them. He immediately opened up the refrigerator, then pulled out a pair of black aviator shades. Immediately, he handed them to Dave, whispered something to him, then ran back to his friends.

Dave looked down at his glasses in confusion. He didn’t understand what happened, until what John whispered registered in his brain.

“Got you Strider. Never take my glasses again.” He’d said, and Dave groaned.

“Damn it Egbert!” He said quietly, but put them back on his face. His three friends walked in, spotting the tall albino kid. Dave did exactly what he told himself he would do when his friends finally met. He offered them a smirk, then raised a hand in greeting. “Sup?” He asked, and Jade broke into a little laugh.

At Jade’s giggle, John started to laugh too, and Rose couldn’t contain an open mouthed smile. Eventually, the people in the room broke into laughter, yet none of them knew exactly what they were laughing at. They were just all so delighted to be there with their friends for the first time ever that they couldn’t help themselves.  Eventually, they settled down, but now they settled into an awkward silence. John eventually spoke up.

“Oh, uh, welcome to Washington. How was the flight?” He asked, trying not to sound too forced or awkward. Of course, he did a little of the opposite, but Rose smiled and answered kindly.

“It was great John, thanks for asking.” She said, and Jade, while she didn’t actually fly, answered too.

“Yeah John, it was fun!” She said, and John smiled at that.

“That’s great. Oh, I was wondering if you guys wanted to finally see what’s so great about con air. I promise, it’s good!” John said, and the tension in the friends’ shoulders relaxed. This was a conversation they all expected to have sooner or later.

“Of course you want to watch Con air. Well, I’m okay with it as long as I have apple juice.” Dave said, and John grinned.

“Yes, that’s two out of four!” John cheered, and Rose let out a slightly exaggerated sigh.

“I suppose that I cannot prohibit you from doing this, so I may as well join you.” The goth responded, and John looked to Jade, who was shorter than him, hopefully.

“Alright John, I hope this is as fun as you’re saying it will be.”

“It is!” He insisted, then grabbed Con Air from his vast collection of movies in varying genres. The four friends lined up on the couch, with John sitting next to Rose, then Dave and Jade following each other after the two. 

After two hours of Nic Cage, Rose felt herself trying not to cringe, for the sake of her friends. The four had picked up food over the course of the movie, and now an unhealthy assortment of gushers, pocky, apple related items, and more appeared over John’s coffee table. So, when John wiped happy tears away at the end of the movie, and Dave looked completely uninterested, she had to lie when asked about the quality of the film.

“It was alright.” She said, and Jade didn’t even hide her cringe.

“It actually wasn’t that bad. There was a lot of action, but I don’t think the movie really expects you to take it seriously.” Jade said truthfully, and John took it positively.

“I knew you’d like it!” He’d stated triumphantly, and Rose just nodded, not trusting herself to avoid a sarcastic comment. She shared a look with Dave, and the girl rolled her eyes.

“Oh, so, what do you guys want to do now? We already did what I wanted.” John said, and the friends looked at him thoughtfully. Rose spoke up.

“Well, I suppose I’ve always wanted to try Washington State coffee.” She said, and Jade and Dave voiced their assent at the idea.

“Oh, you guys haven’t been to Coffee town, have you? That’s also the name of a movie, but it has pretty good stuff. It’s not too far from here, want to check it out?” He asked, and the friends agreed.

“Okay, let’s go!” Jade responded, and after throwing their trash away, the group of friends all piled into the Egbert minivan. Dave and Jade playfully argued about the best contender for shotgun, and eventually they decided that Rose would just sit up front with John. As the black haired girl and the albino talked, Rose and John did the same thing. Both commented on how natural this felt, and as the group of friends arrived at the coffee shop, they all ordered, then sat down. Rose and Dave, somewhat predictably, got black coffee, while the two ink haired kids had to have sugar. Jade didn’t even get coffee, and instead settled on a tea. Eventually, they all got what they wanted, and Rose smiled with her mouth open at the taste.

“It’s exquisite. What they said was true!” She’d said, and John beamed, feeling a little proud.

“That’s Washington!” He said, and the friends launched into a group conversation. After leaving the coffee house, the four kids tried to decide on what they’d do next.

“Egbert, I still seem to remember promising you a rap earlier.” Dave said, and John stood up in excitement.

“Oh, yeah! Hey, an IRL performance with Dave Strider sounds fantastic. Any objections?” John asked, and the two females shook their heads. They had the day off from school tomorrow anyway, but John honestly wanted them to hang out. Their friendship meet up slowly turned into a sleepover, and as John’s three friends walked off to let their guardians know that they were staying out later than normal tonight via cell phone, John prepared whatever he thought Dave would need for his rapping. He held the microphone they had attached to a speaker, then hoped that would be enough for tonight.

Eventually, they all got the permission they desired from their guardians, save for Jade, because her uncle didn’t actually know she was here despite the lie Jade fabricated saying otherwise. Instead, she’d just called Calliope and let her know what was happening. The other girl was invited, but she politely declined because she had some business to attend to with her brother.

Soon enough, the four kids were standing around a makeshift karaoke area, and Dave stood in front of the mic.

“Okay, someone give me a beat!” Dave said enthusiastically. Immediately, Jade put a hand over her mouth, then started to make cheesy rap noises. Dave started the song, but to everyone’s surprise, he passed the mic to Rose. She had no idea what to say, until Dave whispered something about comparing it to rhythmic poetry. Eventually, Rose thought of some words, shared them, and John and Dave cheered while Jade kept their faulty beat going. Then, they passed it to John. As their silly song went on, it turned from a performance into group karaoke, and they all had fun until it ended. Rose openly laughed at some of the lyrics, and Jade kept missing beats because she’d laugh at goofy things John did, but in the end, the four kids had fun.

“Alright Jade! It’s your turn!” one of them said, and Jade thought about what she liked to do.

“Okay, I’ve decided. Do you have any four person videogames?”

“Smash, F Zero, or Mario Kart?” John asked, and that was all Jade needed to hear.

Four rounds of Mario Kart later, they decided on a tournament. John and Rose were the first two to get out, then Dave and Jade played for the glorious honor of winning. Eventually, the two were on their last lap. Dave got cocky, because he was ahead of Jade, but she smirked. After all, she had a secret weapon- namely two blue shells. As the two neared the finish line, Jade hit Dave with one, then as he returned to the race to attempt a win, she hit him with another. Immediately, everyone cheered for her victory.

“That was great! Okay, what next?” They asked. It was getting late, but none of them really minded, and both Dave and Jade actually seemed more alert. Hours later, the four teenagers were seen passed out over a pillow fort. Their faces were covered in blindly done makeup, their eyes were covered in cucumber slices, and they’d never been happier.

AN: D’AWW.

JAFNF Chapter 21

(Friday, August 12 th )

The next morning, John woke up to the sound of Rose’s phone ringing. She was still sleeping, so he let it ring. Surprisingly, he was the only one that woke up. So, he decided he’d start cleaning. After all, he never knew when his dad could resurface. So, he started putting things away. After he completed a good portion of it, Dave crept up from behind him silently, then started putting things away too. John wanted to insist that he didn’t have to, but he couldn’t without speaking, then potentially awakening Rose and Jade. So, he waited, and once the stuff in their immediate area was away, John walked off to the piano room, beckoning Dave to come with him.

“Thanks, Dave. And good morning!” He said, and Dave smirked.

“Morning to you too, Egbert. Okay, who do you think is waking up first, Jade or Rose?” He asked, and John shrugged.

“I don’t know, Rose? Jade’s probably still on island time.” He said, and Dave shrugged.

“Also, Egbert, why did you put my shades in the fridge? You made me hella worried, John.” Dave said, and John crossed his arms.

“I told you I’d get you back, Dave.” John said, and Dave wanted to respond, but Rose walked in behind them.

“Good morning.” She said with a yawn. Clearly, the girl was not a morning person.

“Morning Lalonde. Is Jade still asleep?” Dave asked, and Rose nodded.

“Mmhm.” She responded shortly, then wandered out to go pick up her things. Dave heard a rap ring tone sound from his phone, and he picked it up.

“Yeah Bro?” He said, then paused. “Oh, already? Yeah, I know. Okay, see you.” He said, and Dave looked at John.

“He’s at the front door.” Dave said, and John smiled.

“Alright, thanks for coming over.” John said, and Dave removed his glasses before responding with a wink.

“Wouldn’t miss it for the world, Egbert. See you!” He said, and picked up his backpack. The boy opened the front door to find his thirty something year old brother standing there, and waved at John. John waved back, and the strider brothers departed. Just as John was about to turn to Rose, she received a phone call.

“Yes. Fine. 21605 is correct, thank you.” She said, sounding fairly grouchy. “Mhmm. Fine, see you.” She said curtly, then hung up the phone and sighed.

“My sister is coming to pick me up.” She said simply, and she started to gather her things. John nodded.

“Yesterday was really great.” John said, and a little smile etched itself onto Rose’s face.

‘Yes, it certainly was. I look forward to doing this again, John.” She said sincerely, and John beamed. He still had a little more to clean up, but he heard the doorbell ring. John opened the door, forgetting that stuff was still on his face, until Roxy walked towards him and passed a mirror.

“Oh, wait. Give me a minute sister, I need to clean this off my face. John, can I borrow a bathroom?” Rose asked, and John immediately agreed, then gave her directions. He turned to face the woman at the door.

“Oh, Hi! You must be Rose’s sister. It’s nice to meet you Ms.” He said, and the woman finally got to look at him.

“Wait, John?” She asked him, and John looked at her quizzically, but nodded. She looked… stricken, for some reason, but shook it off and looked perfectly pleasant instead.

“Oh, I’m John Egbert!” He said, and the woman smiled.

“Oh, Rosie has told me about you. It’s nice to finally meet you, Rose was excited. But, uh, sorry about how grouchy she must have seemed this morning, I’m afraid she’s not really a morning person.” The woman said, and John raised his eyebrows.

“Yeah, there’s no reason to apologize, it’s okay. We stayed up really late last night.” He said, then covered his mouth. “No, I mean, we were responsible!” He practically shouted, and Roxy forced a laugh.

“Oh, it’s fine. We don’t have to start working on my project until later.” She said, and John sighed. Eventually, Rose resurfaced with a makeup free face. She looked more refreshed than before.

“Thanks for last night John, I had fun! Tell Jade that I wish her a good morning.” Rose said, and John agreed, then watched the two drive away. He immediately walked over to where Jade was sleeping. She hadn’t received any calls yet, despite the fact that it was almost 11 in the morning. Now, John had to wonder what he’d do from here.

Roxy looked at her little sister in worry. She was talking about last night’s events, but the older Lalonde drowned them out a little. After all, she’d just received some news that made their hunt incredibly personal. There was no mistaking it, this was John Egbert, Jane’s son. And somehow, his life was to be affected by these creatures yet again. Roxy couldn’t bear that happening, so she spoke up.

“Rosie?” Roxy asked, stopping the girl at a pause.

“Yes, Roxy? She asked. Her gothic sister hadn’t been this happy in a while, and she hated to bring her down this way, but she knew the girl needed to know.

“Uh, about your friend John.  Well, do you remember how Jake and I used to be friends with a woman named Jane? She’s the one that died during a vampire/ werewolf attack.” Roxy paused, and Rose hesitated, but nodded. “ Well, she happens to be John’s deceased mother. And that’s not all. You know how I said that our target is trying to feed on this innocent kid?” Rose frowned.

“Yes, I remember you mentioning that. May I ask about the fact’s relation to John?” She asked, not liking where his was going.

“The kid… it’s him. The vampire is trying to feed on your friend.” And Rose’s gothic face, while it used to be lit with joy, now twisted with anger. Roxy waited for her response with dread. She expected disbelief, of something of that nature. Instead, she got something quite different. While Rose was an intelligent girl whose voice usually revealed no emotions, Roxy knew. When her voice was perfectly even, when her back straightened and she got this glint in her eye, Roxy knew what it meant.

“When can I start hunting?” She asked, and Roxy Lalonde knew. Rose was about to bring fourth hell on this vampire, and nothing at all would stop her.

Eventually, Jade woke up. It was 12:00 pm, and the first thing she saw were apples. Then, she heard a little laugh.

“Morning, sleeping beauty.” John said, and Jade frowned at the terminology, then grinned when she realized who was talking.

“John!” She said, fully arising. “Good morning!” The girl stretched, then located her glasses. Since then, John had removed their blind makeup from his face. Actually, his was sort of put on in the correct locations, but only because Dave did it and John was fairly certain that he cheated through his sunglasses.

“I did apples, because I don’t know what you eat on an island for breakfast.” John said, then turned to look at a clock. “Or lunch, I guess.” He said, causing Jade to look at the time.

“Wow, it’s late. And thanks for the breakfast John.” Jade said, causing John to shrug. It wasn’t an issue for him, and the fact that he entered his kitchen without feeling disgust this morning showed some improvement. Jade sat down to eat some of the apples, and John popped a slice in his moth too, until he relocated last night’ gushers. Then, he just ate those instead. The pair finished eating their respective meals, and Jade decided that she’d call her grandfather. After putting Jade’s plate away for her, John left for the piano room to give her some privacy. Hopefully, with the door shut, he wouldn’t hear her conversation if he played. So he did play with his piano, and he enjoyed it.

To John’s surprise, he found Jade listening outside the door. When he found her, she squeaked, as if she’d been caught red handed.

“Oh! Sorry John!” She said, her face getting warmer in embarrassment.

“No, uh, it’s alright! I was just surprised.”

“Sorry, I’ve just never heard a piano in person before. It’s really beautiful.” She said, looking away. She was clearly embarrassed, and now with her compliment, John was too.

“Oh, thanks Jade. You do guitar, right?” Jade smiled a little.

“Yeah, I do the bass and the usual-” The girl was cut off by a little ringtone. It was calliope, but she was labeled as ‘Uncle Jake’, for the benefit of concealing who she was.

“Oh, sh-uh, he’s at the front door. I’ll have to see you later, John!” She said, and walked towards the entrance to John’s home. John walked her there too, and Jade found a car waiting for her.  A humanoid figure sat at the front, and Jade could only assume that it was Calliope, but shrouded in illusion to look like an adult.

“Bye Jade!” John said cheerfully, and Jade waved and climbed into the passenger seat, then the two drove away.

John went back inside, then sighed and leaned against the door. The past few days had been fantastic, but draining. Still, that wouldn’t stop him from checking Pesterchum. He saw that it was Karkat, and the fact surprised him. John wasn’t sure if he wanted to read this. After all, if he was just here to be a jerk, John could definitely pass. Still, if it was something else, then if Karkat of all people was talking to him about it, the information would be important.

Carcino Geneticist (CG) Began pestering EctoBiologist (EB).

CG: JOHN.

CG: I KNOW THIS IS UNEXPECTED, OR WHATEVER.

CG: AND I CAN’T GIVE YOU ALL OF THE DETAILS YET.

CG: BUT I JUST WANTED TO SAY THAT I’M SORRY.

CG: NO EXCUSE I MAKE, OR REASON I ACTUALLY CAN GIVE YOU RIGHT NOW WILL MAKE UP FOR WHAT IVE DONE

CG: IT WAS WRONG.

CG: AND I USED YOU

CG: FOR YEARS

CG: AND IF DAVE STRIDER HADN’T COME ALONG, I WOULD HAVE KEPT DOING IT UNTIL WE GRADUATED

CG: I’M ALSO SORRY ABOUT THIRD GRADE

CG: THAT WAS A MISTAKE

CG: I SHOULD HAVE APOLOGIZED EARLIER BUT I DIDN’T.

CG: IT WAS SELFISH

CG: AND I JUST WANTED TO SAY I’M SORRY

CG: IF I CAN GIVE YOU MY REASONS, AND BY THE END OF THIS I’LL PROBABLY BE ABLE TO

CG: I WILL

CG: I WAS AND STILL AM HORRIBLE

CG: AND I WAS HORRIBLE TO YOU

CG: AND I’M SORRY.

CG: I CAN’T PROMISE I’LL EXPLAIN WHY

CG: BUT IF I CAN, I PROMISE I WILL

CG: I’M NOT ASKING FOR YOUR FORGIVENESS

CG: I SURE AS HELL WOULDN’T FORGIVE ME

CG: BUT I JUST WANT YOU TO KNOW THAT I NEVER DIDN’T REGRET THIS

CG: OH THAT WAS A DOUBLE NEGATIVE

CG: EITHER WAY, YOU’RE SMART, YOU’LL GET THE POINT

CG: BUT I WAS AND AM WRONG

CG: AND ONE WAY OR ANOTHER

CG: IT WILL BE OVER SOON.

Carcino Geneticist (CG) ceased pestering EctoBiologist (EB).

John read over the words. He… apologized? Apparently something got in the way of him giving John a reason, but still. John couldn’t believe what he was reading. He wasn’t sure how to feel about it, but he decided to at least accept it as genuine. John instantly forgave him for the third grade incident, but the rest, with Caliborn, John wasn’t sure if he could. That hurt him both mentally and physically, and made his life for the past few years completely miserable. Maybe if Karkat gave him a reason- well, John knew he had to talk to Karkat on Monday. And that meant he had the rest of today and the weekend to figure out what he’d do.

JAFNF Chapter 22

(Monday, August 15 th )

When 7 th period rolled around that Monday, John surprisingly wasn’t searching for Dave. Instead, he had his eyes set on an extremely angry, extremely anxious Karkat Vantas. The biology teacher was running late again. While John usually disliked late starts in the class, he was thankful for today’s delay. John shyly tapped Karkat on the shoulder. At first, the boy looked angry, but when he realized who touched him his expression changed.

“Oh, Egbert.” He said, and John took a deep breath.

“Hi, Karkat. So, uh, about your pester-” John started, but Karkat cut him off.

“I can’t give you the reason yet. I need to get permission, keep you out of danger, and do other things. But I mean what I said, I am sorry.” He said quietly, and John broke in.

“Alright. Well, I forgive you for the third grade incident. But with Caliborn, I can’t. At least, not yet, and not without the reason.” He said, and Karkat sighed.

“That’s pretty fair. Alright, thanks John. After this is over, Caliborn won’t fuck with you anymore.” Karkat said. John raised an eyebrow.

“How do you know that? And why does he even do it?”

“I can’t say that part. I promise if I could I wouldn’t leave you in the dark about this.” Karkat said, and before John could respond, his biology teacher bound into the room.

“Sorry class! Get out your- oh, most of you have it out. Great.” He said, and immediately, class began. However, to John’s surprise, he received a Pesterchum.

Turntech Godhead (TG) began pestering Ecto Biologist (EB).

TG: What’s up with Karkat?

TG: Were you two talking?

EB: He apologized

EB: But I’ll talk to you later, we’re in class!

Ecto Biologist ceased Pestering Turntech Godhead

John looked up at the board again. They’d just taken a test on atoms, or whatever, and now they moved up the size chain to cells. Dave turned around and looked at him, then offered him a frown. It was strange, because usually Mr. English would be quick to call out doing something so obvious to talk in class, but he seemed to ignore Dave. It was almost as if he didn’t see him, but John saw him pause ever time his eyes glanced over the blonde. The reason why evaded him, but it usually gave him a safe pass in class. Still, their conversation was glaringly obvious, and John found it hard to believe that other students weren’t sending him looks of distaste.

“Dave!” He whispered urgently. “We’re in class, turn around!” He said, and Dave sighed, but complied.

After class that day, John wanted to ask Karkat why he looked so nervous, but the class went to the bell. Dave started to walk John home, but not without whispering a word to Karkat first.

“I won’t be, see you shouty.” That was all John heard before Karkat stormed out, but his aggressive walking lacked its usual…aggression. Immediately, Dave brightened up when he found that it was time to leave, and John followed his friend out.

“Ready to go, Egbert?” Dave asked, and John nodded happily. As the two started their short trek to John’s home, they started to talk, as usual.

“So, Karkat apologized?” Dave prompted, and John nodded.

“He did it over pesterchum, then in person again just now. He said he couldn’t give me a reason, but that he was sorry, and that Caliborn wouldn’t mess with me anymore.” John said, and Dave nodded seriously.

“Damn straight. That asshole better not mess with you again.” He said, and John raised a dark eyebrow, trying to suppress a little laugh.

“Damn straight?” John repeated, and Dave shrugged.

“You know me man, I just go with the cool flow.” Dave said, and John nodded. That did seem to be his thing.

“Oh, but he said something weird too. Apparently he was keeping me out of danger.” He said, and John frowned. “What kind of danger, besides Caliborn? He certainly didn’t keep me from that.” John said, and Dave shrugged, feigning being perplexed.

“I don’t know man.” Dave said, and John shook his head.

“Neither do I.” The two were paused in their walk, because they reached John’s home.

“Sorry John, I can’t stay late today. I have a strife session scheduled with my bro. See you tomorrow!” He said, and John nodded in understanding.

“Oh, okay. See you later, Dave!” John said, then entered his home. Dave started his trek towards the school, wondering how Dolorosa’s pre-action day meeting would go.

___________________

Of course, Karkat felt the same way. Except 2000 times more nervous. As he paced around outside the library, waiting for the others to arrive, he couldn’t focus on anything at all. He thought about the mission, sure, but his thoughts were scattered. Technically, they revolved around the mission, but not in the sense that they probably should have at this point. A girl was walking down the hallway near him. By the time Karkat realized that she had no intention to move out of his way, it was too late. They faced a collision, and the two fell to the ground instantly.

“Oww, sorry.” She said, and Karkat stood, then offered her a hand. Usually, he would have screamed at anyone who hit him, but after she opened with both an apology and an expression of discomfort, not to mention today’s recent series of events, Karkat wasn’t in the mood for yelling over something pointless.

“Nah, my fault. I should have checked where I was pacing.” Karkat said as an apology. “You okay?” He asked, and the girl took his hand and stood, then nodded. She adjusted her circular glasses on her face, then brushed some hair out of her green eyes. The girl looked moderately attractive, and Karkat was glad she didn’t start yelling at him, or something.

“I’m okay, thanks. You were pacing?” She asked, and she had that perfect mixture of concern and curiosity on her face, so Karkat guessed that she was being genuine.

“Yeah, I have a big thing today. Or, it’s not necessarily big, but important.” Karkat said to the stranger, and she nodded in again, genuine sympathy.

“Oh, I understand that. Just take a deep breath and go for it, I’m sure whatever it is will be fine. You wouldn’t be worried about it if it wasn’t a big deal to you, and if it’s that important to you, I’m sure you’re prepared enough.” She said, and Karkat took her advice to heart. He immediately took a deep breath, which didn’t completely erase his anxiety, but helped a little.

“Well, I took a deep breath, so I’m halfway there. Now all I have to do is, you know, go for it.” Karkat said a little sarcastically, but to his surprise, the girl laughed.

“See, that’s the hard part. Is this a school thing?” She asked, and Karkat shrugged.

“Mm, kind of. It’s more..extracurricular. He responded vaguely. The girl raised an eyebrow.

“Oh, really? I’m doing something like that too!” Karkat looked at her quizzically.

“Were you trying to get into the library for your thing?” He asked, and the girl nodded. Her dark, messy hair bobbed as she did so, and she had to remove a strand from her eye.

“Actually, Yes.” The girl responded, and Karkat frowned.

“Tough luck, the library is closed for a meeting after school. I think it’s like a teacher gathering, or something.” Karkat said, and the girl frowned. While it was true that he did technically just lie, he didn’t feel bad about it. After all, humans wouldn’t be pertinent to their meeting, save for John. And he wouldn’t even be there, he was just the one that everyone had some interest in protecting.

“Really?” She asked, and Karkat felt himself nod. The girl had a strange glint in her eye, and a flash of understanding passed across her face. Her face immediately changed to a poor mask of disappointment, while it was clear that she thought she knew something he didn’t. The joke was on her though. Karkat was a part of this meeting, so his cover of the room not being open was a perfect way to keep her out.

“Yes, It’s some dumbass teacher thing.” He said, and he saw her pout in fabricated disappointment.

“Aww, that stinks. Well, I guess I’ll just have to try another way to get what I need.” She said, and Karkat sighed. He internally cursed himself for being so randomly helpful, but still decided to speak.

“What did you need? Maybe I can help you with it.” Karkat said, and the girl looked stricken.

“Oh, I just have an, um, project that I need to complete. Oh, why were you outside of the library?” She asked in response, hoping they could get out of the topic. At the question, Karkat paled. Now he needed an excuse!

“I had to check out a book?” Karkat said, hoping it didn’t sound like a question. “Right. I came to check one out, but I found out about the meeting today. Anyway, are you just getting research for your project?” He asked, and the brunette nodded in response. She saw that her web of white lies would catch up with her soon, and she needed to be away from this kid, now.

“Oh, I’m okay. I just needed to look up one thing, but I can do that at home. But, uh, is there another library nearby? I don’t know how you’ll find your book.” She said, and Karkat sighed.

“Uh, yeah. There’s one near the school, I’ll just check there. Thank you.” Karkat said, then the girl just stood there. Karkat expected her to leave, on account of her need to look something up, but she didn’t. It looked like she was waiting for something. Unknown to him, the girl expected the same thing. It came to the point where the two were silent, and she coughed awkwardly in her fist.

“So, uh, were you going to check at that library for the book you need?”

“Uh, yeah. I was just waiting for you to look up your necessary information at home.” He responded, and the girl paled.

“Oh, okay. Well, why would you wait up for me? I doubt that we’d go in the same direction.” She said, and now Karkat looked more uncomfortable too.

“I, uh, because I have some fucking time to kill?” He said, then thought of a way out of the situation. “Sorry, just worried about my thing. Anyway, I’m going to walk that way.” He said, pointing in the opposite direction of the girl. Hopefully he could enter when she left, which seemed like something she was waiting until he was gone to do.

“Oh, okay. Well, see you later, uh…”

“Karkat. I’m Karkat.” He said, and the girl smiled earnestly.

“See you later Karkat!” She said, waving. Immediately the boy began to walk away. His face burned at the awkwardness of the situation.

“Yeah, see you around.” As he got far enough from the girl to watch until she left the library, he shook his head. He’d file that encounter under ‘weird but pleasant’ in his brain. Eventually, Karkat just hid behind the nearest object, then watched for her to leave. However, the girl was standing in front of the doors, seemingly waiting for something. His meeting was at four, and he needed her to leave.

“Come on!” He almost shouted in frustration form his hiding place. He had four minutes to be in there, and he didn’t want to be late for a Dolorosa meeting, especially one of this much importance. Eventually, Dave appeared. He stood in front of the library, but when he noticed the girl still waiting, he actually began to talk to her. They seemed friendly for some reason, and eventually, the two entered the area. Karkat placed a hand on his forehead. Why would Dave be bringing in some human? Karkat already checked for her blood signature so he knew she wasn’t some vampire. Dave knew that the only people in that room had to be mission pertinent! Karkat was perplexed, and as angry as usual. He wanted to keep wondering about Dave’s sanity when his phone rang. It was Dave.

“Sorry, I’m right outside the library.” He said, and Dave sighed.

“Fine, hurry up man. It’s five right now.” Karkat hung up, then walked back across the hallway and opened the door. Hopefully, the girl would be gone, so he wouldn’t have to worry about his cover story. With a sigh, Karkat relaxed, then walked inside. It was time for their meeting to begin.

JAFNF Chapter 23

(Monday, August 15 th )

When Karkat walked into the room, he was surprised. There were a few people that he hadn’t seen before, but the girl from earlier sat there and conversed normally.

“Hey, Karkat! I guess that phone call was pretty unnecessary.” A voice called, and he saw that it was Dave. Immediately, the girl from earlier looked up, then noticed him. They spoke in unison.

“What are you doing here?” They asked in sync, then fell silent. Dave looked back and forth between the two, his eyebrows raised, but he spoke up.

“Uh, Karkat? This is Jade, my friend and the pure of heart girl. She’s Garden Gnolastic. And, uh Jade, this is Karkat, or Carcino Geneticist.” He said, and Jade looked at Karkat in surprise, then anger flicked across her face.

“Oh, that explains a lot. It’s a  _ \pleasure\  _ to meet you.” She said, her voice monotone. She put excessive sarcasm behind the word ‘ pleasure’, making it clear that it was just the opposite.

“Oh, Sleeping beauty finally woke up and decided to help? Took you long enough.” Karkat said, not even carrying a pretense of friendliness. The other people in the room looked back and forth between the two. A woman with a sewn mouth frowned at their conversation.

“Gob, you’re just as bad in person as you were on pesterchum!” Jade said, and Karkat wanted to rebut her, but Dave had walked over to him and put a hand on his shoulder.

“Uh, anyway, It’s great that everyone is here!” Dave said, and Karkat stopped their fight, however momentarily. Karkat crossed his arms.

“Yeah, everyone is here, right? Where’s Dolorosa?” Karkat asked, and the woman, almost as if it were a cue, walked out into the library.

“Hello everyone. If I may, I’d like to request that we move to the teacher conference room. Teachers are still within the building, and the consequences of them overhearing the wrong words could be fatal.” On that happy note, she turned back into the room, then everyone followed her. Karkat sat next to Dave, and Jade sat on the albino’s other side, seated near calliope. Dave’s older brother sat across from him, and Dolorosa, along with a slightly older girl and another adult never seen before her sat at the table too.

Once everyone sat comfortably, Dolorosa cleared her throat. “Hello, again. Before we start, I’d like to introduce you to my daughter, Kanaya. She’s one of our few remaining pureblood vampires, and she’s agreed to assist us. And, she attends the school, if there’s ever a need to reach her during school hours you may locate her here during 6 th period.” Kanaya waved at everyone, but her hand moved quickly, concisely and politely, just like her mother. “So, I suppose I should introduce myself. I am Dolorosa Maryam. I am a guardian and pureblood, and I want nothing more than to see everyone safe. That’s why I’ve called you here. With the help of my wonderful friend, Ms. Calliope, I believe that we’ll be able to keep those that hunters are hunting safe, along with stopping the nefarious activities of Calliope’s twin cherub involving John Egbert.” The woman paused.

Jade looked around at the table in surprise. She didn’t know that John was involved in this, but she decided that she’d get information later. She saw PM’s face after Dolorosa’s words, and the woman almost looked guilty, but she couldn’t fathom why.

“Our goal is to eliminate the hunters in this area. We’ve confirmed, thanks to Karkat, that at least one hunter is stationed in our school and involved in the search for Dave Strider.  We believe the hunters that were originally targeting him told the current hunters about his move to our school, so backup may be a necessity, in case the hunters from wherever they moved attempt to help here.” The woman paused yet again. “Does anyone have any guesses about the hunter’s identity? I have one, but I’ve never had any confirmation.” Karkat spoke up.

“Wait, I have a guess on the hunter’s identity. Does the name Jake English sound familiar to anyone?” Karkat asked, and Dirk sat up a little straighter at the mention of his name, while Jade frowned. It was familiar, but she didn’t know why.

“He’s a teacher at this school.” Dolorosa provided, and Karkat sighed.

“Yeah, he’s my biology teacher. I think it’s him.” He said, his voice assured. Dirk broke in, his confusion evident.

“No, what? How would you know that he’s the hunter? That can’t be true.” He argued, and Dave looked at his brother in confusion. When did he get so attached to his biology teacher? He recalled their conversation in the car, but dismissed it earlier. Karkat responded firmly.

“Because I see him at church sometimes. There’s a room that my dad always tried to keep me out of, but I snuck inside one day. It was this area full of bottles of holy water. Once, I saw my dad sell him some. I also walked in on my dad blessing a silver dagger for him, but got out of there before Mr. English could see me. I don’t know if my dad knows about the whole hunter thing, but I’m almost certain Mr. English does. I think he’s the hunter, along with this other lady.” Karkat observed, and for some reason, Dirk was really quiet.  

“Does he know about Dave?” Dirk asked, and Dave frowned as he heard his brother’s voice. Karkat read his blood signature, and looked surprised at the anger he found in it. The vampire’s voice was careful as he answered the man.

“I don’t know. I mean, I don’t know why he wouldn’t know his target, but I’m not sure. He never told me that he’d be hunting my friends, but he doesn’t know I’m in the states either, or that I know Dave.”

“But he knows that he’s my brother.” Dirk said, his voice almost accusing. Dave shared a confused glance with Karkat, and both turned to look at the older Strider. That reaction was definitely uncommon for the man. Still, he played it off, but Dave saw his brother’s jaw tighten and he knew he wasn’t happy with the news. “Hm, at least we know who one is.” He’d amended, and Dolorosa nodded, then continued.

“Right, Thank you Karkat.” She said, and Jade nodded, then Karkat scowled. “Now, we have two parts of our operation. Part one starts tomorrow, and it deals with Calliope’s brother. Karkat, could you elaborate?” Dolorosa asked, and Karkat scooted his chair up to the table.

“Sure. Basically, we’re just taking out Caliborn, a cherub that feeds on misery. From what I’ve talked about with Calliope, he’s almost endlessly powerful, and even she can’t beat him alone. For the past few years, he’s been getting his energy from John Egbert, whose blood signature he’s been feeding off. Basically, he’s been making John miserable for the past few years so he can eat him. That’s a thing we want him to stop.”

“John can’t make him stop?” A voice asked, and it continued. “What about the blood signature removing thing you made Dave do?” Karkat sighed.

“I thought about that. If we make it so that he can’t feed off John, he’ll just find another source. We need to take this guy out, permanently. The thing is, I don’t think we can kill him. But he can’t keep going around like this. Caliborn’s a bad guy, trust me. Is torture out of his league?” Karkat asked, and Calliope sighed.

“No, it’s not.” She said, and Karkat continued.

“See, this guy’s an asshole. Er, he’s not nice.” Karkat corrected himself quickly, remembering Dolorosa’s presence. “So, the plan is to beat him up so hard that he’s in the hospital. If we do things right, he’ll be forced to feed off the blood signatures of people within his hospital, and eventually, he’ll survive off of the hospital patient’s misery without having to inflict pain on anyone else. And he won’t be able to leave because he’s, you know, in the hospital. The plan is to lure him out at night to get him to come to us, then all of us beat him up together. And, uh, sorry about this, but I think we need to use John as bait.” Dolorosa frowned.

“How can we be certain that he will come after John, even if we use him as bait?” Karkat smirked.

“If Dave’s been doing his thing and blocking John from Caliborn, Caliborn hasn’t had a full feeding of John’s misery meal in days. He likes that stuff, and I’ll bet that he’s willing to come after it.”

“You didn’t tell me to do anything.” Dave said, and Karkat raised his eyebrows.

“We didn’t have to, you’ve been walking him to and from school every day for the past week. I don’t think Caliborn had any openings.” Karkat said, and Dave shrugged. “But anyway. We offer Caliborn John, he comes to us, and we fight him. We need a location and a time, along with a way to get John out of there safely. I’m hoping Calliope can help us avoid human interruptions. But anyway, we give him a prospect of feeding, he comes to us, and we, uh, incapacitate him.” Karkat said. The group of people nodded. “Any objections? We can get a map or something and work out the details, but is this okay as a base idea?” He asked, and everyone voiced their assent.

“Wait, one thing though. How are we going to make Caliborn want John?” Dave asked, and Karkat gestured for him to continue. “I mean, he only feeds on John when he feels miserable, right?” Karkat nodded. “But I don’t want Egbert feeling miserable. He deals with a lot of shit, and I don’t want him feeling worse. Plus, he’s kind of on a good streak right now. I don’t want to break that, you know?” Karkat understood, and responded.

“I can help with that. If I mess with his signature a little, it’ll change to how it is when he’s upset. He’ll be fine, but his blood signature will change, and Caliborn will hopefully still follow John.”

“So he won’t actually be upset?” Dave asked, for clarification purposes.

“No, but he’ll look like he is. John will have to be there, so two of John’s blood signatures aren’t live at once, and as long as he’s unconscious he won’t know what’s going on. Caliborn will come, expecting to feed on John, we ambush him instead, and boom. Part one complete.” Karkat said, and Dave nodded silently. “Now, part two. Dolorosa made this one up, but it works in the same way.” Karkat stopped, and Dolorosa took that as her opportunity to take over.

“That is true. Now, the objective of this element of the plan is to kill this area’s hunters. As we know, hunters are cold, heartless people that use people to get what they want. And what they want is to kill supernaturals, like most of us in this room. They use everything from magic to swords to achieve what they need to do. One of a hunter’s greatest accomplishments could be killing a pureblood, and that’s what these hunters are attempting to do. They’ve been tracking our youngest pureblood, Dave’s blood signature, in an attempt to hunt and kill him. I have no doubt thet they’ll move in and try to kill him soon. Thankfully, I’ve taught Dave how to turn his blood signaturet off for now, so hopefully that should leave them scratching their heads. Still, they will figure out a way to find Dave again. Before that happens, I fully intend to remove them from this area, to help create a safer world for supernaturals.” She said, and Kanaya looked at her.

“So, What is your plan, mother?” She questioned, and Dolorosa sanwered.

The plan is simple. Calliope will function as our bait, along with Jade. She’ll borrow Dave’s blood signature, then travel across the country with Ms. Harley, disguised as Dave and his older brother, Dirk. The hunters will follow Jade, Calliope, and one extra person, then once they’re far enough away from here, they will fight and kill, or at least discourage the hunters. Hopefully Calliope, with Jade as fuel, along with another person, will be more than enough to beat a few hunters. At the very least, you’ll need to incapacitate them.  Any questions?” She asked, and Karkat spoke up.

“Yes. For this, who’s doing what?” The vampire’s lips curled into a rare smile, showcasing her teeth.

“I’m glad you asked.  Calliope and Jade are already going. First, remember that these are just suggestions. Now, I’d imagine that their accompanier needs mastery of their respective abilities, a driver’s license, and the ability to face off against hunters.  I’m looking for someone with experience and expertise. They need to be able to make judgment calls, and fend for both themselves and others. Before I ask for volunteers, know this. I would generally opt against extra purebloods, because if too many overly powerful beings were in their party, hunters everywhere would join the search, not just our district specific ones.  That said, anyone watching over our rampant group of teenagers should probably be excluded too. If you’re guarding, teaching, or nurturing anyone, odds are that your powers are off the charts.” Dolorosa said, and Dirk spoke up.

“Excuse me, but who would that leave?” He asked, arching an eyebrow behind his shades. Everyone looked around the room, and Karkat scowled as if he’d developed a bitter taste in his mouth.

“Me.” He said, and Dolorosa nodded.

“My thoughts exactly. So, Karkat, if you’re willing, could you do this for us?” She asked, and Karkat looked around at the faces of the people in the rooms. All of them were willing to do what it took to get rid of hunters, no matter how it inconvenienced them.

“Yeah, I will.” He said somewhat reluctantly. Dolorosa gave him a real smile at that.

“Thank you. Now, we need to talk about the specifics.” Dolorosa said, and Karkat stretched. He knew he would be there for a while.

When the Anti Hunters (a name jokingly suggested by Dave, which was immediately shut down) left the library, it was almost eight. They just used four hours for a tactical meeting, all involving things that would happen tomorrow and later. As Karkat exited, Jade waited for everyone else to leave, promised Calliope and PM that they would catch up, then stood near the vampire.

“What do you want? Don’t you need to go home and get your beauty sleep?” Karkat asked her, his voice dripping with attitude. Jade, while she looked like she was going to say something, just shook her head and started to leave. “Wait!” Karkat said just a little too loudly. He coughed in his fist. “I mean, wait. You can’t walk up to me in a hallway like you’re about to confront me in fucking  _ Mean Girls _ or something, then just walk away. What did you want to say?” He asked, now a little angry. Jade just rolled her eyes in response.

“What do you think I want to talk about? Why did you just volunteer to end up with me and Calliope for however long it takes to get rid of these guys?” She asked, and Karkat groaned.

“Were you not paying attention? Never mind, I’m not surprised. Here, let me jog your memory. Dolorosa said no one else could!” He retorted, and Jade crossed her arms.

“Please. Other people could have done it, like Dirk or PM. She wanted you to do it, and you did!” Jade stomped her foot in frustration.

“I already told you, but she said I was the best for it. Is it really that difficult to believe that I’m well suited for something?”

“No! It’s just hard to believe that it has to be around me! Gog, you make me so angry! What’s your endgame? Where do you get enjoyment out of tormenting me?”

“I’m not tormenting you, you’re just being annoying and rude for no reason at all. My endgame is to make sure that my friends and family are safe. Is that so hard to believe? Isn’t that why you’re doing this?”

“But I’m not you!” She said indignantly. “You were nice earlier today, then you found out who I was and started hating me for no reason! So now, you’re following me as we go across the country? I don’t want this!” She said, and Karkat looked at her accusingly.

“Oh, and you think I’m thrilled to follow you across America? It’s not something I look forward to, but I’m doing it to keep my friends safe. Is that a foreign concept for you?” He asked, and Jade looked even more angry than before.

“See, this is what I mean! You’re condescending and patronizing! I don’t get why you keep trolling me! Wherever you go, you just troll, and troll and troll!”

“You’re no prize, sleeping beauty! I see through your act. You’re nice to everyone. You were agreeable in that meeting, and you talked nicely with Dave. Then the second you get away from them, you become a bi- asshole!” Karkat corrected himself. He never used derogatory words of that nature around people, least of all a female werewolf, but she made him so undeniably angry that he started to lose his general control.

“I could say the same about you! You sound nice around people at first, but as soon as you get the chance, you just start becoming a jerk! You’re a troll and a bully Karkat Vantas, and I hate that!” Karkat’s anger reached its boiling point after that last statement. She called him a bully. A bully. The word echoed in his mind, and Karkat Vantas’s shoulders slumped.

“Whatever, Jade.” He said, ending their fight immediately. Jade looked at him, a little confused. Karkat walked past her to the parking lot, and Jade watched him leave. Why did she suddenly feel guilt? It’s not like it was her fault that he just stormed away. Eventually, the green eyed girl went to go find Calliope and PM. They shared a hotel, for the moment, because Jade didn’t like the idea of just appearing in rooms without permission.  The girl forced a roll of her eyes, and when she found her two female friends inside Calliope’s magical car they looked at her in confusion.

“Where were you?” Calliope asked, and Jade shook her head.

“Just dealing with stupid stuff. Let’s go, okay?” PM looked at her quizzically, but made no gestures of agreement or disagreement.

“Okay, let’s go.” The cherub said jovially. As the engine purred to life, Jade found herself staring out of her window with thoughts of the angry boy on her mind.

JAFNF Chapter 24

(Monday, August 15 th  )

Dave felt confused by his brother’s actions. After all, they were the Striders. They didn’t feel sad, and when they did, they got up and dealt with it. There were no tears in a Strider household, and if there were, the other inhabitants of the house couldn’t pick up on it. They were cool, calm, collected, and ironic. That was their act. That was their existence. These were the rules Dave Strider learned over the years as a person that lived with his older brother. The last time Dave cried was when he was six. So after learning and adhering to these unspoken rules, Dave couldn’t figure out how in hell he was in his current situation.

Of course, the current situation involved a very, very emotional Dirk Strider laying on the couch, looking like he’d given up on life. The worst part was that Dave didn’t know what to do. He trained himself to avoid tears, not to make other people do the same. That just wasn’t a skill he could learn when he had a parental figure that didn’t cry. So when his parental figure did cry, he guessed that something was wrong. Something that, in Dirk’s eyes, trumped death, trumped physical pain, and trumped anything else either had ever dealt with in their lifetimes. Dave couldn’t just go up to him and ask what was wrong, but clearly his brother couldn’t man up and just deal with it, like usual.

Dave had seen his older brother do some horrifying, amazing things, and to see the man just crumple like this had a strange effect on Dave. He felt this sense of unknown terror. It was the kind he felt when he looked at those council members.  What could do this to someone like his brother? He looked up to him his entire life, and modeled everything he did after the man. It brought some questions to his mind. Would the same think happen to Dave if he had to deal with whatever his brother was dealing with? Still, these questions weren’t helping him. Dave couldn’t sense if he needed time alone, or desperately needed a comforting hand. Of course, Dave was the only one there, and the least suited out of everyone to deal with this. Still, he had to try. So Dave Strider swallowed his doubts and inexperience, then hesitantly sat down next to Dirk.

“Bro? Are you, uh, okay?” He asked tentatively. His brother just glanced at him, then didn’t respond. Maybe this was a bad idea. Then again, he had just asked a pretty obvious question. Dave decided he’d continue. “Oh, right. Well, what’s, uh, wrong?” Dave fumbled over his words. His brother just looked at him again, and Dave groaned internally at the next words he would have to ask. “Do you want to talk about it?” He asked, and the words left a bitter taste in his mouth. Dave looked anywhere but at his brother. He wanted to take it back, or to forget that he’d even said it. Surprisingly, Dirk ran a hand over his cheeks, wiping away the remnants of tears.

“It’s the hunter.” He spoke, and Dave sat attentively. “I mean, your biology teacher.” Dirk said the words hesitantly, as if he knew Dave would have a thousand questions.

“What about him?” Dave asked, prompting his brother to continue. Was that correct? Dave couldn’t even tell.

“He wants to kill you.” Dirk said, and Dave resisted the urge to make ‘captain obvious’ jokes. This was progress, he decided, and they would push through this. “We’re, kind of,” His older brother coughed into his fist. “We’re kind of dating.” He admitted, and stared at Dave, waiting for his reaction. Dave wanted to burst into some muted form of hysterics, but he controlled himself. That was what he was good at, controlling himself.

“Okay.” He said, making it clear that they wouldn’t get into the issues of exactly why he dated his biology teacher, of all people. “Why does it upset you?” Dave had a guess, but he wanted his older sibling to continue.

“I feel- do you think he used me to get to you?” Dirk asked, and Dave could hear his voice break. This was the part Dave didn’t know how to do. He never had to! But for the sake of his brother, he gave it a try. The Striders didn’t deal in betrayal, at least not in this kind. And the idea that some guy hurt his cool, calculated brother enough to feel this way absolutely destroyed him.

“What do you think?” Dave tried, and his older brother looked at him, almost scandalized. “I mean,” Dave added. “You never let your guard down. Ever. Something told you that you could trust this guy. Maybe it’s for the best?” Dave tried, then continued. “I mean, I know that the goal is to kill him. Maybe it’s a sign or something. Telling you not to waste your time on him. He’s probably an asshole in disguise anyway. Even if he wasn’t using you to get to me.” He finished, then looked at his brother. He hoped he wasn’t wrong. He thought about his biology teacher. “I mean, he’s probably not good enough for you anyway. This is probably just a sign so you don’t have to deal with heartbreak or something later, if you two ever got… serious.” He finished, and Dirk looked at him.

“Really?” His brother asked, and it shocked Dave to see the man so open, and easy to hurt. Whatever Dave said, Dirk would believe.

“Really.” Dave confirmed, and Dirk let out a long sigh. He took a look at his younger brother, then wrapped him in his arms. Dave froze. What was his brother doing? Then, the action registered in his mind.  _ Oh. _ This was a hug. Dave tentatively returned the action to his brother, and they sat there for a few seconds in silence.

Once the two parted, Dave looked up at his sibling and saw him in a new light. Not a bad one, but a more… humane one, Dave supposed. That statement was weird coming from a vampire to describe a human being. Still, Dave guessed that he’d viewed his brother on a different level that he viewed everyone else on. It was like the man was untouchable, almost a divinity.

After this, Dave didn’t see Dirk as untouchable. He saw him as human. And it didn’t make him weaker. Actually, it did the opposite.  The Striders always appeared that way to everyone, Dave realized. That’s why he was so effortlessly popular. It’s because he looked like he was on an unreachable level of human perfection. Except he wasn’t. Dave wasn’t perfect, and neither was Dirk. That was the reason why his friends were his friends. They didn’t see him as perfect, they saw him as him, and they liked him for it anyway. If people knew that the Striders were an insecure duo of people that could be this crushed by something like this- well, Dave finally got why they made their masks the way they did. They were incredibly strong, yes, but the same could be said for their weaknesses.

“Well, I’ve got to go to work, Dave. I’ll see you.” He spoke awkwardly.

“See you later, bro.” Dave said. As the man walked towards the garage door, he paused.

“And Dave? Thanks.” Dirk added, then rushed out of the door.

(Tuesday August 16 th )

John felt tension that Tuesday morning. Dave was at his house, more than ready to escort his friend to school. While the albino looked fine and joked as usual, John could see it. He was tense, and he didn’t want John to know. So, John ignored his impulses to ask what was wrong and tried to act normal.

“So, could you come over today?” Dave asked, and John looked at him a little oddly. That…was strange. Still, John was more than happy to accept.

“Sure, when?” He asked, and Dave shrugged.

“Uh, can you come around seven thirty?” He asked, and John raised an eyebrow.

“Sure, but why so late?” He asked, and Dave responded quickly.

“I have a strife session with my brother. Those things get intense.” He said, and he wasn’t lying. Well, not completely. It was true that his brother would probably give him a warm up before their fight with Caliborn, but not the kind that would take four hours after school.

“Oh, alright. Have fun, and don’t die.” John joked, and Dave laughed.

“I’ll try. He gets pretty fucking intense.” Dave responded.

“So, what do you actually do during these sessions?” John asked. His curiosity peaked.

“Well, a number of things. It’s all fighting, generally with swords, but sometimes the objective is different. We have to try to break each others’ swords sometimes, or other times it’s to give the other person an injury that’s some amount of centimeters deep. Sometimes it’s about speed, other times it’s stealth. It depends.” Dave explained, and John looked on with interest.

“Could I see sometime?” He asked, and Dave had to resist a doting smile. Of course Egbert would ask to see. Dave didn’t outright want to tell him no, but he couldn’t do it tonight.

“Sure, maybe sometime. I have to warn you though, you might not be able to see it all. You remember how he flash steps, right?” Dave asked, and John nodded enthusiastically.

“I remember, that’s pretty cool. Wait, he does that to you while you fight?” He asked, and Dave nodded. “Woah! How do you fight when people like, mini teleport around you?” John asked, and Dave grinned.

“Trade secret, Egbert. But maybe, when you come watch I can show you how.” Dave said, and John looked up at Dave in excitement.

“Seriously? That’s so cool!” John said, and then proceeded to chatter about IRL anime fighting. Dave stared at the boy as he talked, trying to keep his face normal. He adored John Egbert. I mean, how could he not? His friend was so easily likeable. John Egbert was worth protecting. Plus, his face when he got all excited kind of made Dave’s day 1000 times better. Eventually, Dave noticed his friend’s face change. “…ening? Dave, are you listening?” He asked, and Dave looked at his friend in surprise.

“Huh, what?” He asked, and John rolled his eyes.

“Whatever.” John said, and Dave internally screamed. Was John upset with him? Fuck, he couldn’t have that.

“No, I’m sorry. I got distracted.” Dave asked, and John looked at him in surprise, then a little understanding.

“By what?” John asked, and Dave blurted out the first thing he thought.

“By you.” He said, but before John could comment on that, Dave looked up. “Oh, we’re here. I’ll see you later!” Dave said, and John realized he was right. They were in their school, more specifically in front of John’s first period.

“Oh, hey, okay. See you, Dave!” John said, and his friend started walking away, then offered him a wave goodbye. Dave left, and John sighed. At least he could hang out with his friend today, but first he had to get through class first.

That afternoon, Dave strode into his 7 th period warily. His biology teacher was there, and Dave felt angry just thinking about him. This guy was trying to murder him, and possibly use his brother, yet he just functioned normally. Dave saw him greet the class with a smile. His gaze turned to the vampire, and he looked away nervously. Well, Dave finally understood why the man was so nervous around him. Anyway, they had an assessment that day, and Dave decided that he’d confront the man. He’d do it in a way that hopefully wouldn’t put their plan in too much jeopardy.

As Dave stood up to turn in his test, he waited until everyone else put theirs in a pile, then walked up to the man. The vampire took his exam, then turned it over. While everyone else put theirs in the pile face up, Dave did the opposite. As he placed it on the pile, the teacher looked down at the paper.

“I need to speak with you after class.” It read, and when Jake found it, he had to resist the urge to gulp nervously. Slowly, the teacher nodded, and Dave sat down, satisfied. When the bell rang, Dave hung back.

“Uh, you go ahead Egbert, I have to ask him about an assignment I missed.” Dave said, and John shrugged but walked out of the room. Then, the two were alone. The teacher seemed to relax, a little.

“Oh, was this just about a missing assignment, Dave?” He asked, trying to keep the nervousness out of his voice. Dave responded immediately.

“No.” He said, and Jake English paled. He absolutely did not want to have this conversation. “It’s about my brother.” Dave’s voice didn’t betray any emotion, and his lips stayed in an inexpressive line on his face.

“Oh. Uh, perhaps you could elaborate, D-Dave?” He asked, and Dave frowned.

“I’ll make this quick. I don’t know what or who you are, but somehow, you got my older brother to like you. I don’t know what you said, but I will make something clear. I don’t give a shit about me, but if you hurt him, use him for anything, or make him upset you fucking will die. That is a guarantee.” Dave said casually, and Jake felt a shiver wash over his entire body. “Are we clear?” He asked, and Jake knew he was making eye contact, even through his impenetrable shades.

“C-Crystal.” He responded.

“Dave, should I still wait up?” John shouted, and Dave’s tone of voice changed.

“Geez Egdork, I’m coming!” He responded jovially. As Dave walked out, the teacher sat there in his chair. What had he gotten himself into? Well, Jake guessed it didn’t matter. They had a hunt tonight against some vampire, and even if Dave Strider was threatening, with his team of fighters he knew he'd be alright.

Roxy looked down at her little sister in surprise.

“Are you sure that’s tonight?” She asked, and Rose responded affirmatively.

“Yes, they have the full moon tonight. Is this information pertinent to the hunt?” Rose asked, and when Roxy looked at her, her stomach sank.

“It is. Look, our target is trying to feed tonight, but they’re also a lot stronger. If they have even two vampires on their side, we’re toast!” Roxy said frantically. “Those supernatural butt faces are way stronger during full moons. Fighting them, even if we are super prepared, is suicide tonight!” Rose looked genuinely upset at that.

“Then what do you propose we do about John? If they truly are strongest tonight, they’ll attempt to convert him.” Rose said reasonably. Jake had yet to return from work, but both Lalondes knew that he would be unhappy with the news.

“Geez Rose, I know! Look, I’m thinking, okay? I have an idea.” She sighed, and Rose knew things were about to get a lot more complicated.

JAFNF Chapter 25

(Tuesday August 16 th )

It was Brawl Day. The Anti-Hunters, a name that unfortunately stuck, decided that they would nickname the Tuesday full moon as Brawl Day, because that’s what it would be. Hopefully, with their plan, John would stay safe. After Dave finished with his brother’s pre battle warm up, the vampire took a shower. Then, it was time to go. They had their swords in the back of the truck, and in a few minutes, they would go pick up John, then meet the rest of the group at their fighting location. As Dave stepped out of the shower, he threw his clothing on. He was ready to kick this Caliborn guy’s ass.

Their plan was simple. Dave had to invite John to his house. Check. Dirk Strider would pick him up and deliver him to their chosen location. Calliope would start up her blood signature copying thing, but make his signature feel more depressing, while John Egbert is unconscious. Caliborn would come for John, but end up with a room full of badass fighters. Then, after they took down Caliborn, They would deliver John to his house, and position him on the couch. John Egbert would wake up knowing nothing about supernatural shit, and all they would have to do from there is fight the hunters.

Turntech Godhead (TG) began pestering Ecto biologist (EB).

TG: Egbert

TG: We all good for tonight?

EB: Yes!

EB: I can’t wait!

TG: Alright, Dirk’s picking you up before he leaves for work

TG: See you in an hour.

Turntech Godhead (TG) ceased pestering Ecto biologist (EB).

Good, everything was in order. Now all they had to do was get there in time.

John smiled down at his phone. He couldn’t wait to hang out with his friend again, even if it was a school night. The boy continued doing his homework. Suddenly, he heard a creak in a floor pane behind him. John whipped his head backwards, but saw no one. It was probably just some animal, or something. As he continued doing his homework, the boy shuddered. He felt like he was being watched, but that was ridiculous. He was home alone. Besides, he didn’t have time for some stupid irrational fears. After all, he had to finish this before he left for Dave’s. So, he shook off his alarm, then continued with his work.

Then, he heard another creak, along with a muffled sound of annoyance. Okay, now he knew someone was there.

“Hello?” He called, but he received no response. Suddenly, an idea entered John’s mind, and he frowned. No one he knew would be in his house and not answer when he asked for them. Well, except for his father. If that was the case, John didn’t want to deal with him. Not when he was happy for the first time since… well, since his mother died and his father pulled away from him. Instead of continuing to call out, John just did his homework. He smiled again. He would see Dave soon, and he preferred to focus on that instead of the man that lived in the house with him. As John started to reflect on just why Dave Strider was his best friend, he felt something around his mouth, and his world went black.

_______________________

Caliborn was frustrated, and his emotions made him upset. Well, more upset than usual, anyway. As a being that literally existed off of other’s misery, the guy wasn’t exactly the kindest. It didn’t help that his pot head of a guardian/friend was so intrusive. He always helped both him and his sister, but due to their opposing natures, the two never got along. Which left a disgruntled curly haired psychopath to care for twins who were some of the two most kind and evil people in the world. He hadn’t seen his sister in a while, and Caliborn didn’t care. The only thing she was good for anymore were games, and since he gained his source, John Egbert, he was clearly more powerful than his sibling.

Speaking of John Egbert, he was the reason why he was even more upset than usual. While Caliborn could survive off the hollow sense of misery that existed around a high school at almost all times, he’d come to adore John Egbert. His twin sister was the same way- the extractions weren’t as pure when they took them from a collective group of people, but when one person exuded the emotions they fed off a lot, the two could become quite powerful.

So, when depressed, emotionally abused John Egbert stepped into his life, along with the added aid of threatening Karkat Vantas and breaking up a friendship, Caliborn was practically having a power party. He grew stronger with the excess misery he began to gain from John Egbert, and with the more he hurt the boy, the more he got. Still, there was a careful balance to this sort of thing. If he pushed too much, his target would retaliate, but with the things he did now, the boy could use John Egbert as a battery until he expired.

When John Egbert stopped releasing misery, Caliborn was concerned. Did he finally slit his own wrists, or die? Either option wasn’t favorable. Then, Caliborn realized the problem. John wasn’t dead, he was happy. And his happiness came from something Caliborn couldn’t take away- Dave Strider. He tried to make it work to his advantage for a few days, but eventually, John stopped exuding enough misery to serve as a suitable battery.

Since Caliborn lost his main power source, he had to feed off the remnants of testing season. Before John Egbert, this would have been a fantastic boost. Now, however, it seemed like nothing compared to John Egbert. So he was craving that food surplus, that power, and it made him cranky. Crankier than ever.  When the boy heard his guardian knock on his door, he responded by shooting a bullet at it. The intoxicated troll wasn’t even phased.

“Caliborn, I have a motherfucking surprise for you. Shit’s some majestic miracles.” He said, and Caliborn’s interest peaked. He slowly walked to his room door, then opened it.

“What.” He stated, and the humanoid creature responded.

“Some motherfucking shit brain is getting subjugated tomorrow.” Caliborn looked at him angrily.

“English.” He demanded, and Gamzee sighed.

“Some guy has the death sentence for tomorrow.” He said, and a little smile appeared on his face. Finally, a decent source. Still, this would be a short lived meal, not a long term one. Caliborn intended to make the best out of it.

“We need to leave, now.” Caliborn said, climbing on Gamzee’s back, and the troll just gestured to his giant horns. Caliborn wrapped his hands around the giant objects, It always made Caliborn feel more powerful when he rode Gamzee this way. The troll began to walk towards their vehicle when Caliborn cried out. “Wait!” Caliborn said, and Gamzee immediately stopped walking. Calinorn put his hands out, and they coiled around a blue string, one that only he could see. And he knew who it led to. John was exuding enough misery to feed him for weeks.

“What’s happening, motherfucker?” He asked, and Caliborn rudely shushed him.

“It’s another source. We’re following it.” Caliborn said, and Gamzee immediately shrugged, then continued walking towards their car. Caliborn had liked riding his horns since his early childhood, and Gamzee didn’t care. Whatever made him feel powerful was fine with Gamzee, after all. The deranged troll finally reached their vehicle, and Gamzee bent so Caliborn could get inside.

As Gamzee began their drive towards John, he knew Caliborn would tell him when he needed to turn. John’s blood signature manifested itself in a visual form with Caliborn. He could literally see a string leading him to his target. As they rode along the roads that the signature led to, Caliborn saw, for a few minutes, two definitive strings. Both belonged to John, and exuded the same amount of misery. As the cherub made his guardian stop so that he could inspect it, the second string disappeared.

“Is something fucking with your motherfucking miracles bro?” Gamzee asked, and Caliborn frowned.

“I- No, let’s continue. Keep your guard up.” He said, and Gamzee just shrugged, then continued driving.

“You’re the boss, Calibro.”

“Cease speaking and drive you swine.” Something fishy was going on, but Caliborn wanted that misery, and he was going to get it.

John woke up slowly. The first thing he registered was that his butt was numb. As he slowly came to, he looked around his surroundings. He was in a refurbished basement of some sort, and he sat in front of a giant television. John noticed it had both a PlayStation and a classic Wii hooked up to it. “Hm, I should play that with Dave.” He thought, then suddenly shot awake. Dave! He was supposed to go see his friend, why was he here? Where was here? John wanted to stand, but he felt his legs attached to a wooden chair. He wanted to move his arms in distress, but he found them attached to armrests via plastic tie.

John immediately began to panic. Okay, so he couldn’t cry out for help. That was always the worst thing in the movies. Was he in a movie? Was John the victim of an Unsub in Criminal minds? Oh gog, he was going to die. The boy felt tears run down his face, and a little sob exited his mouth. He didn’t want to die like this, not when his life was just worth living again. Would these people hurt him? Torture him? Even sexually assault him? John didn’t know, and he knew his father wouldn’t report him missing, even on the off chance that he came home within the next month.

“He’s up!” A familiar voice said, and John heard a definitively male one answer him.

“Crikey Roxy, I didn’t mean to make him cry!”

“Just take a deep breath Jakey, you’re protecting him.” The voice said, and John’s eyebrows shot up. Roxy kidnapped him. The creepy girl from forever ago that told him to leave his friend- oh no, was his friend in trouble too? He needed to get out of here. John wanted to be the cool guy in the movie that double back flipped while sitting down and broke the chair. Instead, he just broke into more tears. He heard the voices get closer. A thousand thoughts swirled around John’s mind as the object of his terror drew closer, but one thought permeated his mess of a brain. Why was the voice so familiar?

JAFNF Chapter 26

(Tuesday August 16 th )

“John?” The voice asked, an English accent in his tone. Oh no, it couldn’t be- The man walked out into John’s sight. It was his Biology teacher, Mr. English. At the sight of the familiar face, John just burst into more tears. The voice made a cooing sound. “John? No, don’t cry, we won’t hurt you love. Shh, it’s okay.” He tried, gently patting the boy on the shoulder. John registered his words. He said we. There were more people involved. John started crying more. “No It’s okay! We only have you here to protect you.” Jake tried to reassure him, and between gulps and Sobs, John let out a question.

“Are you going to rape me?” He asked, and Jake looked stricken by the accusation.

“What? Blimey John, you’re my best student! I would never hurt you.” He said, trying to reassure the boy. Slowly, John stopped crying, and Jake pulled out an honest to goodness handkerchief to wipe the boy’s face.

“Why did you take me here?” John asked, and Jake sighed.

“It’s not safe for you, John. Some very, very bad things could have happened if we didn’t pick you up when we did. I know I couldn’t save Jade, so I’m trying to save you.” Jake said honestly, and John looked at him.

“Jade? Like, Jade Harley? What didn’t you save her from?” John asked, and Jake gulped.

“John. We’re what most people would call hunters. The story kind, not the animal ones. We take the things that want to corrupt others out, to keep normal people safe.” He said. John looked at him, then another wave of fear washed over him.

“You don’t mean like vampires and werewolves, right?” He asked, and Jake nodded.

“Actually John, that’s exactly what I mean.  And we hunt daemons as well, there are just more Vampires and Werewolves.” He responded, and John sobbed again. He was being kidnapped by insane people.

“Do you think I’m a vampire? Are you going to try to cleanse me, then drown me like a witch? I’m not a witch! I’m not even a girl!” He shouted a little hysterically, and Jake put his hands out.

“Easy there, lad. No, we don’t think you’re a vampire, but someone is one and they want to convert you.” Jake explained, and John looked at him dubiously.

“That’s absolutely insane.” John said, and Mr. English sighed.

“I understand why you say that John, but perhaps I should tell you a story.” John sat petrified in the chair. He didn’t want to hear his insane teacher’s stories, but he couldn’t really say no either.

“When I was twenty five, I was friends with two wonderful women. One was Roxy Lalonde, the older sibling of your friend, and the other was Jane. She was our main Jane from down the lane, the best baker and business manager to walk the streets of Washington. She was climbing higher in the line for the Betty Crocker Company and fortune, and she would receive her promotion once the current owner gave her business away.” Jake said, then sunk to one knee to be on eye level with the boy.

“Now,” he started, “Jane was beautiful, smart, and good at what she did. She had a baby at eighteen, then married the father, and changed her last name. A pitty too- Sassy Sassacre is what we called her, and she certainly lived up to the name, but that’s not important. The point is, she faced some circumstances that most people couldn’t perservere through, and she did it at a young age. Instead, she excelled in her job, and became a hard worker for the next few years. Even at 25, she was more than capable of running one of the biggest corporations in the world. She was kind, and everyone expected and wanted her to be next in line. Her reign would mean prosperity for the entire business. And that meant she was a threat.  There were a few people that desperately wanted Jane’s position. To be next in line, or extremely close anyway, to inheirit a business like that was an amazing task. And- well, it didn’t lack the potential for financial gain to make the job coveted. People could work their entire lives and not make as much as Jane would have made if she inherited Crockercorp. They knew if she was out of the way, they’d have a better shot at it. Once it became clear that she’d end up with the company, and soon, the people that wanted her out grew desperate. So while Jane worked for this company diligently by day, they plotted to kill her by night.”

He paused, trying to gauge John’s reaction to this. He seemed to be listening, yet nothing in the story referred to vampires or anything of the sort…yet.

“Still, those that wanted Crockercorp needed some, shall we say, finesse when she went about killing the girl. If they did it outright, or with anything that could possibly link them to it, thousands would be outraged. With a corporation like that, using an assassin wouldn’t help any of them. They could be traced, and any amount they could be given to talk would make them vulnerable. The media would jump on a chance to see the owners of the establishment- quite a few millionaires, actually, have their names smeared in court. The costs were even higher over the death of someone like Jane. See, Jane was the kind of woman that everyone loved. Roxy used to say she could make people smile as well as she could bake cakes- and that woman could bake. She was one of my closest friends.” Jake continued after emitting a wistful sigh. “Anywho, the millionaires in charge needed someone just as vulnerable as them to do the job. Someone with something they couldn’t let get out to the general public, and a secret more necessary to uphold than their own foul deeds.” He said.

“What did they use? You can’t honestly be telling me-”

“I am and I can. They found a werewolf to do it, paid him off, and he attacked her. They had to do it on a full moon, where the urge to bite manifested itself in the creatures. Unfortunately, the best full moon they could find was a day when she was away from her young son, but with her husband. If they waited too long, Jane would become the business owner, so they struck.” Jake took a deep breath. This part was hard for him to say.

“They did it on her anniversary. She was with her husband, so the werewolf had to take care of him first, then go for Jane. The werewolf snapped her neck in half with his teeth, and she died. I assume the werewolf ran away, and the husband tried to return Jane to the hospital, but she couldn’t be helped. When Jane died, they thought they could gain power, but one of Jane’s close work friends stopped it. She got them out of Crockercorp completely, and explained to us what really happened with her death. We definitely avenged them.” Jake paused. His voice changed from angry to sad.

“When Jane died, she left a gigantic group of loved ones in her wake. She was young. Too young. Her husband tried to raise her son, but he never found love again. I was one of her friends. One of many, and yet, I was one of her closest loved ones. Her death hit me harder than anything I’ve ever dealt with.” Jake looked down, and John wasn’t sure what to say.

“I’m sorry for your loss.” John said honestly, and he felt bad for this biology teacher, even if he was insane. This whole vampire/werewolf shmuck was clearly some coping mechanism he developed after his friend died. Still, he didn’t know why this man knew Jade, or why he insisted he couldn’t save her. After all, his friend was fine. There was some proof that this was all just insanity. Jake continued anyway.

“Well, that’s when Rox and I began hunting. At first, we just avenged Jane’s death, and killed that werewolf. Then, we started taking out vampires, werewolves, and anything of the sort. The ones that transform others without permission.” John looked up at him, dubiously.

“So, has any human been turned into, say, a vampire on purpose? I can think of some people who would want that.” Jake coughed a little uncomfortably.

“Well, old chap, No human being in their right mind would want anything being bitten brings with it, and if they really did, they deserve death as much as the biters themselves.” John looked at him in disbelief. “Gander me this, John. I’m sure you don’t believe me. I know if a thirty something or the other year old man tied me to a chair, I wouldn’t believe a word he told me. So, I have a little incentive for you not to scream, cry, and call the police once we let you go.” John was confused, until another person entering the room caught his attention.

“I believe that’s my cue.” She said, and John was shocked to see her yellow and black dressed gothic friend standing there.

“Rose? You helped them kidnap me?” He asked, and Rose sighed.

“John, I’m truly sorry about all of this. I-”

“You didn’t tell me about this! You were my friend for years! And now, the second I invite you over, you kidnap me? Was that the whole point of being my friend? Just so that you could act like you care for me, for years, then just kidnap me? How could you do this?” He asked, and Rose didn’t know what to say. They were in a horrible position, and the fact that they abducted him just days after they met up didn’t help.

“John, no, that’s not it! I simply-”

“Made me trust you? You made it so that you were the first person I opened up to, after years of struggle, only so that you could do more of your vampire cult voodoo. Was this some crazy plot to sanctify me, for years? Or, was it that when you finally found where I lived, you decided I was convenient enough to kidnap?”

“John!” Rose shouted, but lowered her voice at the sight of tears on his face. “John, I would never do that. What Jake is saying is true- we’re only doing this to protect you. Someone out there is trying to hurt you John, but I promise it’s not me. I have been your friend for years- I swear that it hasn’t changed.” Rose said sincerely, and John sighed.

“I just want to go home.” He responded, and Rose offered him a similar sigh.

“I know, but first we have to make sure you’re safe. I’ll hunt down the vampire that wants to kill you personally.” Rose assured him, and John nodded. He still didn’t like the idea of hunting, but if someone really was attacking him, then they probably needed to be stopped.

“Alright.”

“So, does that mean you believe us, Johnny boy?” Another voice from behind him asked.

“How many of you are there? Do you all have to appear from behind me?” John asked, a little attitude appearing in his voice. The woman laughed.

“I’m the last one.” She said, coming into full view. It was Rose’s older sister, Roxy.  

“Oh, Ms. Lalonde. Of course. To answer your question, no, I don’t believe you all the way.” The group deflated at the words. “But... I won’t call the police on the murders, I guess, that you’ve committed. Are you guys kind of like Dexter?” John asked, and his Biology teacher nodded.

“We actually are! I didn’t know you liked movies John.” He said, and both Rose and Roxy cringed in sync. They knew their friends long enough to know what was coming next.

“Wait, do you like action movies?” John asked, and the Lalondes sighed.

“Crikey! They’re only my favorite genre!”

“No way! There’s this one movie-” And at that, the blonde sisters had to cut the two off.

“I swear, you two are exactly the same.” Roxy said, and Rose had to agree. “I’m sorry to interrupt your geek-ing out, but there’s something you need to know.” John paused and looked at the woman in interest.

“What?”

“The person those vampires killed? Jane? That was Jane Egbert, John.” Roxy paused, a heavy feeling on her heart. “That was your mom.” She said finally, and John looked at her in surprise.

“What? No, my mom died ten years ago, in an… accident.” He said finally, and the boy looked up at the three from his seat. He wanted this to be a joke. This had to be a joke. Roxy offered him a look of remorse. John met her eyes, and he knew- it wasn’t a lie. Werewolves killed his mother, and now vampires were after him too.

“I’m so sorry, John.”

Woo, that was fun! DUN DUN DUNNN!

JAFNF Chapter 27

(Tuesday, August 16 th )

Dirk arrived in front of John’s house. The plan was about to get started. Dave walked up to the door, waiting earnestly to be greeted by John. So, when he rang the doorbell and John didn’t answer, he was confused.

“Egbert, are you showering?” Dave called, but received no response. Dirk honked form the car. They needed to go soon. The blonde tried the door, and it was open. Huh. After getting over his initial reservations, he clasped the door handle and entered the house.

“What the hell are you doing? In case you forgot, we’re not here for a playdate, Dave!”

His older brother called form the car.

“He’s not answering! Let me just have a peek inside!” Dave said loudly, hoping his voice would alert John. Immediately, the Strider strode in. The door wasn’t locked. “Egdork? You here?” Dave called, and he predictably received no response. He ran up to his room, to the piano room, and other areas of the house to find a distinct lack of Egbert.  Dave came back outside, shaking his head.

“Where’s the kid?” He asked, and Dave hung his head.

“I don’t know!” He responded truthfully, and Dirk groaned.

“Well, what do you think happened? He wouldn’t ditch, would he?” His older sibling asked, and Dave shook his head.

“We need to find him.” Dirk took off his glasses as Dave entered the car.

“You know, Dave.” Dirk started, and Dave could tell whatever he wanted to say would be bad. “What if, and I’m not saying this is true, but what if we’re too late? What if the hunt-”

“Shut up.” Dave said, and Dirk sighed.

“You said he wouldn’t leave, Dave. I’m beginning to think-”

“I said shut up!” Dave responded, and Dirk was surprised to hear his brother’s voice sound the way it did. It was raw with emotion. Before they could continue their conversation, Dave’s phone rang. “That’s probably him.” He said, but when he looked, it was Karkat. Dave put it on speakerphone.

“Look, huge problem. Caliborn showed up sooner than expected. Hurry up, get Egbert!” He shouted, and Dave looked confused.

“Wait, how?”

“Calliope started copying his signature earlier. He brought company, come on I have to fight!” He said anxiously from the other line. Immediately, the boy hung up.

“Dave. We need to help them.” Dirk said.

“But John!” Dave tired to insist, but his older brother’s softly spoken words and orange eyes stopped him.

“I know. I’m sorry Dave.” He said, and without a word the Striders began to drive to their location.

Eventually, they untied John, and he was free to roam about, but not leave.

“John, we’ll let you go tomorrow, but they’re the strongest tonight. We can’t risk you getting hurt.” Jake explained. So he couldn’t leave right now, but he was only there to stay out of trouble. John started walking around the teacher’s shared home when a glimpse of something shiny caught his eye. A door was slightly open, so John entered the area. What he saw inside amazed him. The room contained a collection of every weapon he could think of in both silver and wood. The boy walked up to one of the items in the room, a giant hammer. Just as John leaned over it, as if to touch it, Roxy appeared behind him.

“Johhny, what are you doing in the weapons room?” She asked, and John jumped up.

“Uh, just leaving. Sorry!” He said, and started for the door, but the woman held him back.

“Nah Johnny, I can tell you wanted to touch something. Ooh, that was it, wasn’t it?” She asked, pointing to the hammer from earlier. Its handle had hints of blue etched in it, and a crosses were found on both the handle and the actual mallet part. John froze, but nodded in embarrassment. “Ha, Do you think you can actually pick it up?” She asked, and John shrugged.

“I don’t know. It does look pretty heavy. Can I try?” He asked, and Roxy looked around. No signs of Rose or Jake were present. Immediately, she pulled out a small spray bottle of some liquid, grabbed John’s hands, and put the liquid on them.

“If you’re up to the task, I’d love to see you try. It usually takes  a little muscle for these silver ones though- don’t be surprised if you can’t lift it.” She said, and John shrugged. He put his arms on the handle and pulled with all of his might. Well, John lifted it. The issue? He used too much strength, and sent himself flying back. Eventually, John picked both himself and the weapon up. It felt extremely light for an item of this size composed of solid silver.

“I, uh, think I did it.” He said, and Roxy raised an eyebrow.

“Damn Johnny, do you have super strength?” She asked, and John frowned.

“No, I don’t think so.” He said, but dropped the weapon from his grasp. It clanged against the floor, but mad a hollow sound as it collided with the ground. “Wait a second.” He said, then pulled his fist up to the mallet. He knocked on it, and discovered it was hollow on the inside. The weapon actually had a small coat of silver, then wood and air on the inside.

“Oh, okay! Dang, I always thought I had to be Hercules or something to lift this thing, but I guess not!” Roxy said, then ruffled his hair. “Nice hammer Johnny boy, it suits you!” She said, and John smiled at the almost motherly affection. He held the weapon in his hands.

“Yeah, I like this!” He said, and Roxy looked at it. Her lip curled into a frown, of sorts. She leaned in towards John, as if she were sharing a secret, and John listened.

“Well, Jake and Rosie don’t like me giving this stuff out.” John sighed. He realized that they probably didn’t give hunting weapons to every kid they saved. Roxy gave him a catlike grin. “Buuut…you can have it if you want!” She said, and John grinned.

“Really? But how would I get it past them? It’s kind of big.” Roxy put a hand on her cheek.

“Hmm, this is a real conundrum we have here- oh wait!” She said, grabbing the hammer from the boy. Immediately, she turned to the handle and hit a button on the end of it. The weapon shrank down considerably. “Boom!” She said, and John held the now normal sized hammer in his hands.

“Wait, how does that work?” He asked, and a male voice from behind him spoke up.

“It removes the hollow space from inside the hammer, then tada, you have your hammer!” Jake said, and John looked up like a deer in the headlights.

“Uh, I, uhm,” John stuttered, and Jake laughed.

“John, it’s quite alright! You can have the hammer, just ask me first, okay?” He said, and John nodded. He didn’t want to be caught ‘stealing’ from his Biology teacher.

“Thank you Mr. English!” He said enthusiastically. John saw his eyes spark, and he looked down at John’s excited face. Mr English hid a grin, and raised his eyebrows.

“Actually John, do you want to try it out?” He asked him, and John looked in confusion.

“Try it out? How?” He asked, and Jake led him to a room. Within the room sat a robotic contraption that had an orange hat symbol on its chest.

“This is how. My b-friend, made it! It’s a training robot, and it adapts. If you ever want to give fighting a try, this is what it’s here for!” He said, and Roxy couldn’t help but butt in.

“Friend? Please Jakey, he’s your boyfriend and everyone knows it.” She added, only for Rose to drag her away before she could see the teacher get too flustered. John sat there a little awkwardly. He didn’t want to know about his teacher’s dating life.

“Uhm, hm. Right then, let’s continue.” Jake said, and John sympathized with his embarrassment. “Anyway, we start on level one. Give that hammer a try!” Jake said, and John obediently extended it, then twirled it around in his hands. He immediately sank into a left form-fighting stance, trying to mimic what he’d seen in movies. And that was when the fun began.

While John was enjoying himself, Dave was doing quite the opposite. The two brothers landed in the chosen location just to see Jade thrown against a wall. The sun hadn’t set yet, so she decided she’d wait until later to become a wolf. Actually, it was likely that she wouldn’t have a choice. While PM was always able to maintain human form when necessary, Jade found it much harder to fight off the wolfish urges. For now, she shot bullets at her attacker, but the gun’s purpose revolved around long range sniping. PM was a wolf, but she went human to attack Jade’s attacker, a tall fellow with juggalo clubs and bright yellow horns. As she started with a wolf attack, PM transformed gracefully into a human being and decked the guy in the face with her fist. For a second, Dave swore he saw wings on her back, but they were gone in a flash.

“What the motherfuck?” The guy asked, immediately shaking off her punch. He was looking at PM. “You escaped?” He said, and the woman with stitched lips paused, but shook her head in some clear defiance. “Fine, I’ll show you want happens when you leave the motherfucking subjugators. I hope you’re ready to become my special stardust, motherfucker.” He said, and in response, PM just pulled a sword out of a sheath. Dave guessed he’d deal with that later, because Caliborn was shooting fucking lasers from his mouth. The boy grabbed his sword, then charged into the battle.

Apparently, The tall older guy was pitted against PM, Jade, and Dolorosa, while he fought Caliborn along with Calliope, Kanaya and Karkat, and his brother switched sides against whoever needed it. Eventually, they took down clown guy. As everyone was taking turns trying to beat Caliborn, Dave swore he saw Kanaya pull out some lipstick, then reapply a coat. Strange priorities aside, Caliborn wasn’t going down easily. Then, for a second, the hairs on Dave’s back stood on end. It was the moon.

Tonight, it was full, and it began its climb in the sky. Jade and PM let out matching howls, and immediately transformed into wolves. Well, Kind of. Jade became a full werewolf, but only PM’s head transformed. She still had her sword, and her legs looked a little strangely posed, but for the most part she looked humanoid. Well, Dave could think about that more later. He, Kanaya and Karkat all gripped their weapons tighter, and Dolorosa looked unaffected, but lost her fragile hold on not glowing. Now that he thought about it, he had a faint hue to his skin too. While they got brighter, Caliborn seemed to do the opposite. His entire disposition turned darker, and the red swirls on his cheeks filled in, making little doll like circles. His teeth seemed to be bigger, and his pupils kept changing colors. Shit was about to get real. Dave also noticed Calliope get brighter, significantly. The green swirls on her cheeks filled in as well, and she had a faint, white aura surrounding her body. She put her wand in one hand, then gently touched Jade with the other.

The girl whispered some words to Jade that left a smile on her wolfish face. Calliope seemed to breathe in new life when a wolf like Jade smiled, and her wand crackled with power. Then immediately, they were back at it again (with the white vans). They started to combine their moves, weather it was Karkat holding his arm down with his sickle while Jade went for a blow, or when PM, Dirk and Dave all attacked with their separate blades. Eventually, Caliborn smiled sadistically and pulled out a gun. He held it by the magazine, but looked more than confident in his ability to use it, despite his atypical grip.

“I’m surprised sister, I’ve never actually had to use a weapon in one of our games before. It’s quite sad that you involved your weaker friends, they may not have had to die tonight otherwise.” His voice dripped with sadism, and Dave took a deep breath. He noticed they all looked a little tired, but Caliborn was just getting started. The group punched, kicked, and magiced at Caliborn, but they couldn’t seem to make any real hits on the boy. Dave noticed PM and Karkat get hit hard, and both seemed a little disoriented. Jade barely dodged a mouth laser, and Dirk was flash stepping around, slicing bullets in half and batting them away with his sword. The man saved all of them from nasty bullet wounds at least twice, but because of this, he couldn’t get in and hit Caliborn hard. It was a while before anyone even landed a successful hit on the cherub, and Kanaya’s chainsaw even hit him, but didn’t do permanent damage. Eventually, Calliope backed away from the fight, then started waving her wand around, sailor scout style. It went in a perfect circle around her body, and when Caliborn noticed, he made a lunge for her. Dave, however didn’t allow it. The boy went for a hit, and found that he was in an arm strength battle against Caliborn’s gun. There was no space to kick, and if he moved his weapon he would fall and be dead in seconds.

“Caliborn.” Dave said, his voice full of disgust.

“Dave Strider. You took my food away. I’ll be sure to make you suffer.”He said, and Dave crunched his eyebrow in determination.

“Listen up, Caliborn.” He strained with effort. The boy’s short appearance held an inhuman (duh) amount of strength. With a grunt, he continued. “I don’t care what you are. You mess with me, you get fucked up. You mess with John? You’re dead.”  He said, and looked behind him a little. Calliope was clearly charging up, and would fire her spell in seconds. Just before Caliborn could think up a witty comeback, Dave dropped to the ground, and as Caliborn stumbled forward, Calliope fired. The result was an almost instant KO. The boy was just groggy enough for Dave to come in and stab him in the leg. For some reason, Karkat knew where to press on the right spots so that he’d lose enough blood to pass out, but not die. For the most part, their party remained unscathed.The boy turned around once he was sure the cherub was unconscious.

“Alright, well done everyone.” Karkat said. “Now, are we taking this guy to a hospital? The sword wound in his leg severed all of the neves in his body. Caliborn will get an amputation, I’m sure. I doubt this guy will be hurting anyone any time soon.” Karkat said, and Dave sighed.

“Are you sure he won’t go back to taking people’s misery?” He asked, and Karkat shook his head.

“I doubt he will. After all, he knows we can fuck him up now. So, can we please take this guy to the hospital? He can feed there if he wants, I don’t fucking care. Now, I would love to stay and enjoy a moonlit picnic with all of you, but I have some family members that probably want to know where I am. Plus, his blood is getting everywhere.” Karkat said, and they all agreed to leave. Eventually, after some complaints about his leather seats, they tossed Caliborn in the back of Dirk’s truck. They left the juggalo troll guy passed out in the corner. He would wake up soon enough. The normal vampire of the group took care to avoid him as much as possible, and distance himself from the troll. As they went to leave their fight scene for the hospital, Karkat ended up in Dave’s car instead of Dolorosa’s.

“Where is John?” He asked as they drove to the hospital. Dave shook his head.

“I don’t know. He wasn’t at his house. I think... I mean, Dirk said…” Dave tried. He couldn’t get out the words.

“He’ll be alright, Dave.” Karkat said, and the vampire wanted to believe him.

“Maybe. Either way, you were right. We were too late.” Dave put a hand in his hair. “If I had listened to you earlier, maybe he would be okay.” Dave said, and Karkat frowned.

“Shut up, Strider. It’s not your fucking fault. When we get him back, he’ll be okay. Don’t be a dumbass and blame yourself, you’re the reason why we even took down Caliborn and why we can take down those hunters tomorrow.” He said, and with a shaky sigh, Dave nodded. The boy turned to his phone.

TurntechGodhead (TG) began pestering EctoBiologist (EB).

TG: Hey Egbert

TG: You there?

TG: Or… anywhere?

TG: I just want you to be safe

TG: And I promise I’ll see you soon.

TurntechGodhead (TG) ceased pestering EctoBiologist (EB).

Dave looked down at his phone ruefully. There was no response.

AN:  have Faith is to Have WINGS!E.ke me

wolvesen he rode Gamzee this way.nd in it.e before Mr.beat a few hunters.. people that at

JAFNF Chapter 28

(Wednesday, August 17 th )

“I just don’t know, Karkat. Forgive me, but until yesterday I didn’t even remember that you were on the math team!” The priest looked down at his son.

“But father, I already promised that I would go. I would never betray my team’s trust this way. This winter retreat thing is important to them, and it’s important to me too!” Karkat rebutted, trying to channel as much credibility in his words as possible. While he wore a high school math team t-shirt, Karkat had other things in mind for the journey he was about to partake in. Instead of travelling to Iowa for their competition, Karkat planned to do quite the opposite. He was ready to do his part of the plan and be a guard for Calliope. That meant, of course, that he would need to be gone for a few days, and the math team cover up they invented would be the only way they would be able to do this.

“I know, but this is still such a surprise. I’m just worried about you, Karkat.” He said, and Karkat rolled his eyes.

“I’ll be fine. We meet up at school.” He said, crossing his arms. Pastor Vantas sighed.

“Alright then. Is everything okay in regards to missing assignments and tardies?” He asked, and Karkat found himself nodding.

“Yes, Father. D- I mean, Ms. Maryam, our sponsor, sent emails to our teachers.”

“Okay then. Good luck with your math. You have your phone, right?”

“Yes, I have it. If I don’t go now, I’m going to be late!” He said, starting to rush towards the door. Karkat’s backpack was on his back, but instead of holding textbooks, they held bait necessities, like first aid kits and chargers. Everything you would need if you were on the run from a hunter. Karkat’s father watched him leave, but as he was going to exit, he ran up behind him.

“One more thing Karkat!” His father shouted from behind him, and Karkat paused, fairly annoyed.

“What?” After all, he wasn’t lying about his time constraints. His father, to Karkat’s surprise, reached down and hugged him.

“I love you son. You’re a Vantas, make me proud.” He said, and Karkat hugged back quickly, then broke away as his father tried to ruffle his hair. As he watched his son leave, he shook his head. He would call Karkat tonight, but for now, he had some work to do.

When Karkat arrived at school, he went to all of his classes first.

“Our work is on your website, right?” He asked, and they all confirmed, save for his seventh period teacher. Oddly (Or really, not oddly) enough, Mr. English wouldn’t be present for some amount of time. Even if this was a life or death mission, Karkat could not help but want to stay up to date in school. So, along with his necessary supplies, he brought his laptop and charger too. Eventually, he heard the announcements today. Dolorosa added in a meeting for their fake math team, giving Karkat the ability to excuse himself after they finished playing their morning ‘news’. As he traveled to the media center, he ran into an excited looking Calliope.

“Oh, so we start now?” He asked, and she nodded. The swirls on her cheeks were hidden, but Karkat saw how she was literally glowing with excitement. Dolorosa wished them well, and made sure that they alerted her of their progress nightly. With her well wishes, he, Jade and Callie all piled into a black SUV, then drove over to the Strider’s home.

Upon their arrival, Karkat pulled out a map he’d printed. It had their route to some dessert down in Nevada.

“Alright, all we need is for you to copy Dave’s signature. Then we’re good to go.” He said to Calliope, who nodded in return.

“Alright Rosie, all we need you to do is find his signature again. Then we’ll be good to go!” Roxy said, and Rose sighed.

“Of course sister, I’m only doing the necessary cleaning operations.” Rose responded, then took her hands out of the vat of water. “Alright, we can start now.” She said, then picked up her two needles. Jake held the blood signature GPS in his hands, and Rose started the spell. They’d done the necessary things to find whoever was trying to terrorize John, but they still hadn’t located them. Until today.

“Oh, you who disturbs the land of light,” Rose started, and put her needles in the shape of a cross. The items began to glow, and Rose tried to continue, but she was stopped by Jake’s bark of excitement.

“Gazdooks! I scarcely believe it, the spell worked! Boon up job, Rose!” The English teacher said. Rose looked confused. She hadn’t finished the words, but the signature appeared.

“Alright, score one for Rosie! Let’s go, team!” She said, and the three shared a cheer. John wandered down to where they stood.

“What’s going on?” He asked, and Rose smiled pleasantly.

“Oh, good morning John. It seems that-”

“It seems that I have the most kick ass little sister in the world!” Roxy said, then clapped John on the shoulder. “We found the asshole that’s been trying to eat you, Johnny boy! Let’s go get them!” Roxy cheered, and Jake nodded along enthusiastically.

“Wait, what? What are you guys going to do?” He asked, and Jake made eye contact with the boy.

“We’re going to go take down that vampire that’s trying to kill you.” Jake said, then paused. “Or, at least turn you into one of them, and make you half dead.” He amended, and John looked up at them anxiously.

“I can’t stop you, can I?” He asked, and Jake frowned, but shook his head.

“This is our job, John.” Rose said, and John sighed.

“Alright, I guess I can condone it if you’re just trying to stop a murderer.” He said, but an idea sparked in his mind. “But only if I can come with you!” He said, and the three shared glances. Rose, who was immediately concerned for her friend’s safety wanted to say no. On the other hand, Roxy, their impulsive still-a-teenager-at-heart vampire slayer wanted him to come, and the decision fell to Jake.

“I…suppose.” Jake said, but he quickly added more after Rose’s lips curled into a frown. “But, you’ll have to bring that hammer with you, and don’t, no matter what, get involved. Odds are, they’ll try to use you as a bargaining chip, that scum, and I wouldn’t want you getting hurt. I understand if you want to see them in person, but absolutely no fighting.” He said. John nodded enthusiastically at the terms.

“Thanks, Mr. English. I want to know who’s doing this.” John said, and Jake sighed.

“Actually, I don’t know who. But I think Roxy can tell you.” He said, and Roxy cut in.

“It was just a guess, based on the signature. If you wanna know, Johnny boy, I’d be happy to tell you.” She said, and John paused, but shook his head.

“No, I want to see them with my own eyes.” John said. “Otherwise, I don’t think I’d believe that anyone I know would do this. Or, I would say that if you didn’t count Caliborn. But, Karkat promised he wouldn’t mess with me any more- so it’s probably not him.” John said it absentmindedly, and while Roxy nodded and went on obliviously, Jake looked down at him.

“Wait, you believe Caliborn would hurt you like this?” He said, and John let out a sigh. He was suddenly more irritable.

“Yeah, I do. He’s done stuff forever now, it wouldn’t be a stretch.” John said in a tone that told him to drop the subject. Jake frowned, because something about his words seemed off, but the teacher could dwell on it later.

“Hm, alright.” Jake said, then clapped his hands together. “Okay, it’s time to hunt, everyone. Roxy, do you have your stuff?” He asked, and Roxy flashed him a grin.

“Dagger, water, gun and sword, check!” She said, and Rose followed suit.

“I have my needles, water and the first aid kit present.” Rose said, and John’s face turned a little warm.

“Uh, I have this hammer- Oh, do you have my phone?” John asked, and Roxy nodded.

“Yeah, sorry for taking it Johnny. But now your phone won’t be tracked. Not even the NSA can find this stuff now. And, uh, you can’t really tell anyone where you’re headed. That going to be a problem?” She asked, and John shook his head. Roxy smiled and put her hand in her pocket. She gave him the cellular device.

“Woah, thanks, Ms. Lalonde!” He announced enthusiastically, and the woman laughed in response.

“No problem kid. And seriously, Call me Roxy!” John put a hand on his neck in embarrassment, but tried to amend his words, even if calling adults by their first names was kind of a foreign concept for him.

“Oh, okay. Sorry Ms. Uh, Roxy.” He said, and the woman rolled her eyes.

“We’ll work on it.”

“Ahem!” Jake said, using the same tone he spoke in when he needed to quiet a class. John and Roxy fell silent. “Better.” Jake said, and turned to Rose. “Rose, could you get John some holy water?” He asked, and the gothic girl nodded, then walked off, presumably to locate it. Jake looked down at the various items in his hands, and decided to complete his item check as well. “Now, I have my guns, water, and dagger. I think we’re good!” He said, and Roxy couldn’t resist adding some more information in.

“Woo! Let’s kick his ass!” She said, and Rose returned with the water. She also had a leather strap in her hand.

“It goes around your shoulder.” Rose explained, then showed hers to John. “That way, you can hold your stuff.” John took the two items. He immediately started fiddling with the strap, until Roxy rolled her eyes.

“You suck at this, John! Just- here, let me help!” She said after minutes of waiting, then she put the item on the boy. “There we go. You look like a hunter already!” She said, and John looked away in embarrassment. Rose hid a smile on her return and John offered a sheepish expression as he spoke.

“Uh, thanks.” Jake rolled his eyes at Roxy’s actions, and spoke immediately.

“Alright, well if you’re done babying John, I suggest that we leave!” Jake said, and Rose just smiled a little.

“Fine, party pooper.” She pouted a little, but immediately brightened as a thought entered her mind. “But we have to do the thing first!” Roxy insisted. Jake looked at her quizzically.

“What thing- Oh.” Jake said, then shook his head. “Roxanne, No! I told you, it’s not going to be a thing.” He said it haughtily, and both John and Rose looked on curiously.

“What thing?” John asked, and Jake just shook his head.

“It’s bloody silly. Just something I tried before our first mission-” he paused, and gave Roxy a defined look of distaste. “Which I promised we would not speak of again. Definitely not.” He said, but Roxy argued back.

“Jakey, it’s a tradition! Come on, it’s Rose’s first mission in a while. Pleeease?” She asked, and the man rolled his eyes. They could have gone on like that for hours if he didn’t give in, and Jake knew that they needed to catch whatever vampire was attempting to feed on John during the day, when they were weakest. Which meant that they needed to leave and confront them as soon as possible. He couldn’t waste time on arguing with Roxy.

“Fine. Don’t say that I don’t do things for you.” Jake responded, then sighed. “Make a circle, you can go ahead and do it Roxy.” The woman beamed as he said the words, and Jake, Rose, and John formed a loose circle. Immdeiately, Jake began to explain. “This is an adrenaline pumping excersise that I found online. Supposedly, its meant to ‘pump up’ actors, if you will, but I tried modifying it once for our purposes. Go ahead, Roxanne.” He said, and Roxy grinned.

“Start Jumping!” She screamed, suddenly filling the area with sound. John glanced at Rose, but began to do it, and Rose and Jake seemed to follow along. Roxy ran around within the circle, then suddenly turned to Jake. “What time is it?” She shouted, and He screamed back.

“Hunt time.”

“I said what time is it?” This time, Jake, Rose, and John answered back, with a little more enthusiasm.

“Hunt time!”

“Make the hunter sound!” She screamed, and Jake responded with a guttural, chant-like noise.

“Ah- woo! Ah- woo!”

“What time is it?

“Hunt time!”

“What TIME is it?”

“HUNT TIME!”

“Hunter sound!” She’d commanded, and they all screamed back immediately

“AH- WOO! AH-WOO!”

“WHAT TIME IS IT?”

“HUNT TIME!”  She put her hand out. “HUNT ON THREE! One! Two! Three!” Everyone, despite their repercussions, found themselves putting their hands in the middle.

“HUNT!” they shouted, and immediately, Roxy screamed.

“GO! GO! GO!” She shouted, and everyone piled into the car, high on adrenaline. John was grinning, and Jake felt his heart racing from the activity. He was calm enough to get out their blood signature reader, and track the red dot that marked the vampire they were hunting. Immediately, Jake pulled out of the garage, and they drove off in a marked rush to find that vampire. John’s heart was racing, but eventually, he had an idea. The boy stopped Jake’s driving with a phrase.

“Wait, I have to get something from my house! Can… we go get it?” He asked, and Roxy shrugged.

“Whatever you say, Johnny boy. It’s not like they’re going anywhere.” She said, and he gave directions to his home.

Upon their arrival at the Egbert household, John hopped out of the car, then opened the door. Oddly enough, his front door was unlocked, but John could secure it properly later. He dashed inside, and quickly found his toothbrush and toothpaste. He probably didn’t have time to brush, but… well, he thought he should at least bring it. The boy passed by his kitchen, and noticed a few garlic cloves. Well, they were vampire hunting. He took it, and returned to the door with it.

“Hey! I brought this. I don’t know if this just works in the movies, but-”

“Oh… you’re right! That’s a brilliant idea, John. Well done.” The teacher praised, and Rose voiced her assent too.

“That’s a lovely idea John, thanks.” Rose said, then offered him one of her usual smiles. Roxy ruffled his hair.

“Nice thinking John. Now, you ready to go get these guys?” She asked, and John nodded.

“I’m ready.” He said, and the quartet drove off.

Meanwhile, Calliope and Jade watched Karkat’s face. His eyes were closed, and he was focusing.

“Okay, we need to get moving now. They’re coming.” Karkat said, then put his hands over his temples. Since the trip’s beginning, Karkat hadn’t uttered a word to Jade. He was still pretty upset over what she said to him two days ago. Calling him a bully pushed Karkat over some sort of edge, but it mainly hurt because it was true. He was a bully because he did nothing to stop Caliborn. If Karkat was being honest with himself, it wasn’t her that he was mad at. No, he was angry with himself. Still, he’d never admit that, and there were other things to focus on for now. They had a mission to worry about.

“Alright, Jade, you don’t mind being thirty, do you?” Callie asked, and Jade shook her head.

“Nope, it’s all according to the plan. Still, it’s going to be weird if I’m so tall.” She said, and Calliope shrugged.

“You’ll get used to it. Now, I need you to think about your friends. How do they make you feel? You don’t need to tell me.” She said, and Jade concentrated. A smile placed itself on her face, and Callie took that as an opportunity to start the illusion spell. Immediately, she became Dave Strider, and Jade became Dirk. Immediately, Jade had to walk and find a mirror. She collapsed at first, but after a few tries, she made it to the bathroom. Unfortunately, their bathroom lacked the mirror she wanted, but Callie made a suitable substitute using her strange magic.

When Jade saw herself, the first thing she could think to do was touch her face. It was real, she was thirty. The girl took time taking her shades on and off, then ran a hand through her hair. Calliope joined her, and did a little twirl. While they had their fun, Karkat helped contribute to the mission. He monitored the hunters’ progress by tracking his teacher’s blood signature. They were close.

“Can you two be any fucking slower? We have to go! Callie, get the ‘car’.”He said, and with some difficulty, Jade walked over to the vehicle and got inside. As they drove away, Karkat realized that they stopped at John Egbert’s home. “Hey, I think they’re bringing John home.” He said, and sighed with relief. He could tell Dave the news later, right now they had to focus on getting out of there.

“Hey, what’s this?” Jake asked, looking down at the GPS like item. The dot, representing the blood signature of the vampire they were hunting was moving.

“What’s the problem?” John asked, and Jake sighed.

“It seems that they’re driving away. We have to follow them.” Jake decided, and a thought occurred to him. He grimnanced, then shared a look with Roxy, who sighed. The two had been in a situation like this, where vampires, or other species, would manage to get wind of what they were doing, and begin to move away. Since they couldn’t attack a supernatural at night, it usually led to longer than anticipated missions. Immediately, Jake looked at John seriously, who was sitting forward because he wanted to know the problem. “John. This may take a little longer than we anticipated. We can’t attack those blasted creatures at night, when they’re most powerful, which means that we’re running against the clock to search for them, and we may have to follow them for a few days. You can return home, if you want.” He said, and John shook his head.

“No way, I can’t leave now. I want to see this to the end- Let’s go!” He said, and Roxy smiled, and ruffled his hair.

“Alright then, Johnny. If that’s what you want, Let’s follow this vampire!” She said, and the hunting troupe drove off into the day.

__

AN: Note, that scene with the whole ‘what time is it’ jazz was a thing we do before shows at my school. It’s super epic, and gets adrenaline up. There was another thing we do that could have applied here, but I really didn’t want to transcribe it because it’s um, really offensive. It’s bad. So I wrote this instead.

 


	16. Chapter 16

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 29- End of part 1. what a mistake.

JAFNF Chapter 29

(Thursday, August 18 th )

Dave hadn’t slept much that night. Dirk was out, but the man forced Dave to go to school, for his own benefit. If he’d been less worried, he would have commented on how the tables turned in Dave wanting to attend school. Natuarally though, he didn’t. Dave couldn’t- he was too busy thinking about something a million times more important. He couldn’t get John off his mind all day, and he felt… empty. He maneuvered throughout the day, his face only betraying zero expressions at any given point. The blonde eventually made it to his lunch class, when he usually saw John. His feelings of lonesomeness, and worry, were almost unbearable. John was out there, and getting brainwashed, or kidnapped, or hurt for information, while Dave was sitting in school, wasting away. After a lot of thinking in the quiet library, he realized that he needed to do something, and now. John not being safe would eat away at him, and Dave had to get John away from whomever took him. The blonde knew it was hunters, in an attempt to get to him. He knew this was all his fault. There was no telling what those hunters were doing to John, or saying to him. He wasn’t sure if they were brainwashing him, or torturing him. Dave didn’t know, and it destroyed him to think about it. Eventually, he resolved that he didn’t care what would happen to him, he needed to do something. It was torture, not knowing where John was, and he’d rather die than have John be unsafe, especially if it was his own fault. And so, with that thought in mind, Dave went to Dolorosa.

“Ms. Maryam. Do you know where Karkat, Calliope, and Jade are going to fight the hunters?” He asked, and Dolorosa frowned. She wasn’t the type of person to mince words. Instead of moving around his obvious intentions, she addressed them immediately.

“Mr. Strider. I’m aware that you care for the safety of your human friend. But, please consider that going after them would endanger both him, yourself, and the friends that have risked their lives to help you.” Dave considered her words. He knew he could endanger people- but they had John. Dave already knew he couldn’t rest until he knew his best friend was safe, and at home. He had to go after him, and find those hunters. Maybe even exchange himself for John, or try to fight them. Dave didn’t care.

“I…I have to know where he is.” He said, and the woman regarded him coldly.

“Dave Strider, be sensible. I helped you before because it was in the best interest of the members of this establishment, and  I plan to act in everyone’s best interest again. If that hunter truly convinced John that you’re out to hurt him, I’m sure Karkat, Calliope, and Jade can rescue him. Have faith in your friends, Dave.” She said, and Dave looked down.

“I do, but… I need to know that he’s okay. It’s my fault that he ended up in all of this mess, and I don’t know what they’re doing to him out there.” He said, and she sighed.

“I’m sorry, but I refuse to assist you. You may not know where those hunters are, because I know you’ll regret what happens in the end.” Dave started to speak up, but she cut him off with a cold stare. “This isn’t just about what you’re willing to give up. You’re risking endangering Karkat, Jade, Calliope, and even John if you try to rescue him. You don’t even have a plan.” She paused, as if daring him to contradict her. Dave was silent, and she was right. The woman huffed. “As I assumed. I won’t over you any information that puts others in jeopardy, so selfishly. Good day, Mr. Strider.” She said, and quickly walked away from the boy. Was he being selfish? Dave shook his head. This was no time to consider that. What he needed now was another option. He needed to make sure John was okay.

“Think, Dave.” He said to himself, then an idea came to him. He needed to find Karkat. If he found Karkat, he could find out where John would be. Still, who would know how to do that? Dave sighed, looking towards the doors that led to the cafeteria. If he didn’t know something, all he needed to do was ask. Dave left the library and walked into the student eating area. He found a ton of people all screaming at the top of their lungs. Still, Dave knew he could do this. He chose a table to walk up to, and neared a conversation.

“And then I said,-” A girl was speaking to a boy. She had short hair, and she looked deeply invested in her words. Dave had no time to feel bad about interrupting her.

“Hey, I’m Dave Strider.” He said, and a girl turned from her conversation. Her eyes lit with recognition.

“Oh! You’re that cool guy! Hi, I’m Nepeta! And this is Equitty.” Dave raised an eyebrow behind his shades, and the boy he introduced sighed.

“Equius. How do you do?” He asked, and Dave shrugged.

“Same as always. Anyway, if I needed someone good with technology that could find someone, where would I look?” He asked, and the girl piped up.

“Oh! Equitty is really good with making technology, but if you’re trying to find someone, Sollux would be your guy. He’s like, this super smart hacker guy. Equitty, show him the picture!” She insisted, and with a sigh the boy pulled out his phone. He unlocked it to find a group image of people in robotics T- Shirts. Equius zoomed in on one of the students, indicating that the boy was Sollux. Dave nodded appreciatively.

“Oh, thanks. Any idea where he is?” Dave asked, surveying the cafeteria.

“He is currently in class, but I’m in his engineering class next period. Also, I believe that it would be in your best interest to warn you now. Sollux Captor isn’t the easiest person to work with. I would proceed with caution, and try to stay away from promising any long term favors.” The girl, Nepeta, rolled her eyes at the last sentence.

“Purr-lease Equius, he’ll be fine! You’re just salty after that one deal you made, and it wasn’t even that bad!”

“I asked him for a part for the car I was building, and he made me wear a maid outfit for his own personal entertainment!”

“You did say anything, Equitty. Besides, it’s not like he filmed it or made you do it in public.” She countered, and Equius blushed a little as he responded.

“It was humiliating!” Dave coughed in his fist.

“Well, uh, thanks for the warning. I’ll try to avoid the maid costumes.”

“Good idea. You could walk with us to his class, if you want!” Dave considered the options. This lunch period ended in a few minutes anyway, and Dave didn’t mind skipping a mind numbing history class.

“Alright, thanks Nepeta.” Dave said, and the girl nodded jovially.

“No purr-oblem!” Dave took a seat beside the two. He noticed Nepeta’s words, and looked at her curiously.

“So, do you like cats or something?” He asked, and Equius shook his head.

“Why would you ask-”

“Oh my goodness! Cats are the most wonder-furl thing in the world! They’re so cute, and fluffy, and they always-” The bell rang, saving them from what was sure to be a completely one-sided discussion about various felines. Dave saw Equius send a short look of thanks to the sky, and Dave couldn’t stop the little smile that grew on his face. They seemed to be a nice pair of friends, even if one ranted endlessly, and another looked uptight. Then again, opposites attract. The same could be said for him and John, at least. As the three grabbed their backpacks, Equius spoke up.

“So, who are you trying to find?” He asked, and Dave shrugged. A little information couldn’t hurt, considering these people just helped him.

“Karkat Vantas.” He said, and a look of distaste passed over Equius’s face.

“Why would you look for him? I heard he was at the math team retreat today.” Equius said, and Dave looked around. No one was listening.

“Look, I can’t give you all the details, but he’s not with the math team.” He said, and Nepeta looked on curiously.

“Then where is Karkitty?”

“That’s what I’m trying to find out.” Dave said, and Equius frowned. He waved at Nepeta, who walked away at an intersection to visit her next class, then the boy continued the conversation.

“Hm. I know you’re new here, but I would urge you to stay safe. There is quite a lot that Karkat does that you probably wouldn’t want to get involved with.” He said, shaking his head. “Karkat Vantas isn’t as wholehearted as his father’s job would make him seem.” At that, Dave laughed.

“Oh, I know that. He can cuss like no one I’ve ever heard before. But I know he’s a god guy.” Dave said. “He deals with some tough stuff, but he’s still my friend. I need to find him.” Equius sighed.

“I suppose that I cannot dissuade you. Well, come along then. My engineering class is right here.” He said, gesturing to a door. The floor, instead of having the ugly purple carpet of most classrooms was made with tiles. Dave followed him to Sollux’s working area. Luckily, the places were fairly private. “Sollux, someone wants to see you.” Equius said, and the boy reclining in as chair looked up.

“Oh, so it’s you. Everyone comes to me eventually, even the shamelessly popular, I guess. I’m not doing your math homework.” He said, and Dave had to resist the urge to roll his eyes. The boy’s slight lisp made him sound like a jerk, but he was a jerk that knew his shit.

“Please, I have more important things to do than that. And I need your help with them.” The boy, whose back was facing him, turned in the chair to face him.

“Well the genie is in. What do you want?” He asked, and Dave lowered his voice.

“I need you to find Karkat Vantas. He’s not on a math team field trip, but I need to locate this guy. I have to catch up to him.” He said, and Sollux raised an eyebrow.

“You mean, you want me to hack into his cell phone GPS and send it to you so you can stalk him? I can do it, but what’s in it for me?” Sollux asked, and Dave sighed.

“What do you want?”

“I want to know why you’re looking for KK.” He said, and Dave frowned.

“That’s not an option. I swear I’m not an insane stalker, or whatever you’re probably thinking. This shit is important though, and if I mess this up or tell the wrong person, everyone could end up dead. So no, I can’t tell you.” Sollux’s eyebrows crunched together, and he searched Dave’s face for sincerity. Even through his dark lenses, Sollux decided that he was telling the truth, or at least believed he was.

“Are you exaggerating on the death thing?”

“Not at all.” Dave said, and Sollux sighed.

“Fine. I’ll do it.” Dave relaxed. “But, I’m coming with you. If Karkat’s in danger, then I’m going to bale his ass out. Plus, you probably will need a cool tech guy on your side anyway.” He said, and Dave sighed.

“Fine.” Dave said, then thought about it. “But… only if you have a suitable way for me to get to him and promise to stay out of the way.”

“No can do, I don’t have a car.” He said, and Equius appeared behind him.

“I believe that I may be of service.” Equius said, and Dave looked at him in surprise.

“Were you eavesdropping?” He asked, and Equius shrugged.

“No, but I did overhear. I am right next to you two.” He said, and Dave rolled his eyes. Still, Equius was being useful, so it couldn’t hurt to be a little nicer.

“Fine, if you have a car we can use, that would be great.” He said, and started to relax. Maybe this wouldn’t be as bad as he thought.

“I’m coming too. Even though it’s not in my nature to work with someone as uncultured as you, Sollux, I would like to see if your faith in Karkat Vantas is founded.” Equius announced. Sollux glared at him, before Dave could respond.

“Yes it’s fucking founded. Karkat’s an asshole, but he’s still my friend. And I’m not uncultured, you sack of shit!” Equius shook his head at the boy. His words probably hadn’t helped, but before Sollux could say anything else, Dave broke in.

“Alright, alright. Now, we only need one more person, and we’re good. Sollux, when can you get me Karkat’s location?” He asked, and the boy rolled his eyes.

“Give me until 7 th period. You’ll see Google maps on your phone.” He said, and Dave nodded.

“Alright, I’ll meet you here at seven, in front of the carpool lane.” Dave said, and he walked out of the engineering area. After a few minutes, he backtracked to the library, and looked around the bookshelves. She was there, and he attempted to quietly get her attention. When it didn’t work, he cupped his hands around his mouth.

“Kanaya!” Dave whispered. The girl looked up at him. She noticed him, and smiled in polite surprise.

“Oh, why hello Dave. It’s nice to see you again.” She said, and Dave nodded.

“Yeah, it’s nice to see you too. Is your mom here?” To Dave’s relief, she shook her head.

“No, she’s in a planning meeting all period. Why?”

“You know Karkat’s plan, right?” He asked, and she nodded. “Well, the hunters have John. I want to get him back.” He said, and Kanaya’s eyes bulged out of her head.

“Dave, are you insane? That’s almost suicide! Besides, you couldn’t even find them. They’re well on their way now!”

“I can find them. I have a guy who can help with that. I was wondering if you could help me get John back. I need John to be okay. Besides, if they have John on their side too, there’s no way the three of them can beat however many people they brought. I know it has to be more than Mr. English now.” He said, and the girl sighed.

“My mother would never approve.”

“Please, Kanaya. I can’t do this without you.” He said, and he was right. Purebloods were supposed to have some crazy abilities. Kanaya was older than him, and Dave knew that she already had some of those pureblood powers. If they needed to fight, she needed to be there for defense, so that he hopefully didn’t die. They stood a better chance fighting against hunters together. She was essential- all Dave had to do was convince her to come with him.

“Are you sure Karkat wouldn’t be able to save him?” She questioned, and Dave looked at her.

“Against a team of hunters, possibly including John? Look, I’m not doubting Karkat or whatever, and I’m sure Jade and Calliope can pack a punch, but if they use John against him, I know he may not be able to kill them. Hunters are sick and twisted, so they’re not above using John against us. I want to make sure he gets home safely, above everything.” The girl sighed. She had some similar doubts, but hadn’t shared them. Still, she needed to know his true motivations.

“Why are you really doing this, Dave? If this was just some worry about our small team’s odds, you would have brought this up in the meeting.” Dave looked to the side.

“Honestly? Yeah, you’re right. I’m… really, really worried about John.” He said, frowning. “He wouldn’t even be involved in this if it wasn’t for me, Kanaya.” Dave explained, and the senior looked surprised.

“So, you’re willing to risk your life? Dave, you’ve only known him in person for a few weeks!” She said, and Dave responded defiantly.

“And I’ve had the best time of my life. I’ve known him online for years, and I don’t even want to know what I would be like without him. He was my first friend, and for a vampire that only knew one person, he’s easily one of the two most important people in the world to me. I can’t lose him, Kanaya.” He said, and Kanaya considered his words. She looked back at a door- her mother was probably in there. She’d never approve. And yet, Dave seemed so earnest. It was an all or nothing mission, where the losses would be high if something went wrong. Dave knew this, and was more than willing to do it anyway. Kanaya made a decision.

“Fine, I’ll help you. I can see that he’s important to you. Plus, this whole thing seems to revolve around John anyway, right? We may as well make sure he’s safe.” Dave grinned.

“Thank you, thank you, Thank you so much Kanaya. I seriously owe you forever for this.” He said, and she offered him a wiry smile.

“I may take you up on that later. But for now, we’ll probably be gone for a few days. I’ll need a book.”

“We meet here at seven tonight. Bring your chainsaw too.” Dave said, and looked truly grateful. Kanaya smiled at him, though she knew she may regret her decision.

“I’ll be there.”

JAFNF Chapter 30

(Thursday, August 18 th )

Road Trip

“Where are they?” Jade asked, speaking to Karkat for the first time that day.

“They’re about 15 hours behind us. We can probably stop for the night, if you want.” He responded, and Calliope shrugged.

“Usually I would be drained, but even with all of this magic I’m using, I still feel great! Still, if you guys want to rest, I understand. Jade can’t be happy if she’s always tired.”

“Alright then, sleeping beauty. What do you want to do?” He asked, and Jade glared.

“I don’t need to sleep.” Calliope raised an eyebrow, and she sighed. “Fine. But I’m not lazy!” She said, and Karkat smirked a little. They were at 2-1 in whatever weird game they were playing, and Karkat was winning.

“Of course you’re not dear. Let’s just book a room.” Calliope said, and they drove towards the nearest highway stop. There, they found a hotel, and Calliope said she would ‘handle’ their sign in, leaving Karkat and Jade to stay and wait. Jade glanced at Karkat, then frowned.

“Why are you always saying mean things to me?”

“Why do you act nice to everyone but me?” Karkat rebutted, and Jade felt herself get annoyed.

“Because you’re mean to me!” She responded. “And I’m not acting nice, I just am. I understand how that may be a difficult concept for you to comprehend, but maybe I would be nicer to you if you weren’t so infuriating!” Jade responded, and Karkat raised his eyebrows.

“I’m infuriating? Please, if anyone is like that, it’s you. I don’t get you, Jade Harley, at all.”

“Then maybe you could try to understand me before you insult me all of the time!”

“Last time I checked, Infuriating wasn’t a complement.”

“Neither is sleeping beauty!” She said defiantly. Karkat raised an eyebrow, and she relented. “Well, at least not in the sense that you said it. I’m not lazy, that’s why I’m here!” At that, Karkat’s eyes rolled.

“No, you’re here because we needed a charger. And, someone to awkwardly clunk around and pretend to be Dave’s brother, because we sure as hell both know that you won’t be able to fight like that.” Jade looked to the side. That was probably true, but she didn’t want to admit it. She glared instead.

“And what’s your giant role?” Karkat crossed his arms.

“I’m like a knight!”

“Whatever Karkat, you’re just backup, in case they have more people, and Calliope can’t take care of them all. Really, if anyone is inessential to the plan-.”

“Oh, you mean the plan that I helped make?” The response was defiant, but of course, Jade had another response ready.

“Of course you would make a plan where you would have the least work possible.”

“Well, at least I-” A cheery voice cut him off.

“Hey guys, good news!” Callie said, offering the two a smile. Karkat and Jade stopped arguing for a moment to listen. “I have a room for you alone, Karkat, and I get to stay with Jade!” She said, and Jade grinned.

“It’s like a sleepover! I’ve always wanted one of those.”Jade said, and Callie clapped a little excitedly.

“You’re right! This is going to be so much fun!” Karkat looked at both and shook his head. They were still on a serious mission here, and Karkat had to take charge, and make sure everyone knew what to do.

“Okay, so we’ll stay here tonight, we can have breakfast at seven, and then we’ll hit the road again.” Karkat said, and they all agreed, then went to their rooms.

“Jolly good news everyone!” The biology teacher said, immediately waking Roxy from her sleep. She had been sleeping for quite a few hours now. “I believe they’ve stopped for the night!” Jake announced, and Roxy fist pumped. “But, uh bad news? We can’t reach them by the morning, even if we do drive all night.” He amended, and the ever excitable Roxy emitted a sound of disappointment.

“Aww, what! Well, we can get closer, right?” She said, and Jake nodded.

“Yes, but if we catch them tomorrow and we’re all tired, I doubt it would go well.” Rose added, and Jake cursed.

“Bollocks! Well, we’ll need to cover as much ground as possible tonight, before we get some rest.” Jake continued driving for a while in silence. Rose started to nod off, and soon, only John Roxy and Jake were awake. So, when John saw their car start to swerve around, he let out a sound of alarm for Jake, who immediately woke up fully and continued driving the car. John saw his teacher start to get tired again, and eventually, Roxy asked him to pull over.

“We’re switching, Jakey.” She said, and Jake started to protest. “I don’t want to hear it! We’ll all crash if you don’t get some rest now. We need you alert for tomorrow, alright?” She said, and Jake sighed, but complied. She was right. As soon as Jake’s seatbelt was secure, the man fell asleep. Roxy drove for a few hours, but she found herself starting to get tired in the silent car. Eventually John, who had fallen asleep, woke up.

“Roxy?” He whispered, and she responded immediately.

“Johnny! I thought you went to sleep. Driving is boring.” She said, and John shrugged. He could relate a little.

“I did, but I’m up now. Can we do something to pass the time?” He asked, and Roxy shrugged.

“It’s a little dark for bumper sticker games, so did you have something else in mind?” She asked, and John felt himself getting a little shy.

“Yes. Could you tell me about my mom?” He asked, and Roxy smiled.

“Alright, Johnny. I’ll tell you about high school.” She said, and John nodded appreciatively. “This was a little time after your mom, Jake and I became friends. Jane was doing a bake sale for some cause. She wanted me to help, so I did. Jake was busy that morning.”

“So, we started selling cookies. ‘Hey, would you like to support the blah blah whatever.’ The sale was going slow, but okay, until this guy showed up. He was kind of tall and looked like Jake, but we didn’t really notice him or anything. Then, he asked Jane if he could have a cookie. He gave her a dollar, took a cookie, and a minute later a bunch of football players came dressed as black and white cookies, like the ones she was selling. They all did a weird flash mob, and then advertised our bake sale. It was epic. Once it was done, we made so much money that we had to just start stuffing it with bags, and Jane had to run to the culinary room to bake some more. We still sold out, after ten extra batches.”

“Well, your mom spent a week trying to find that guy and thank him. I still don’t know how he got all of those people to do that. Eventually, that guy found her. He offered her the cookie, and asked her out. They were together forever after that.”

“Wait, my dad?” John asked, and Roxy smirked.

“Yep. Hasn’t he told you that one?” John paused uncomfortably.

“He hasn’t. Dad never really talks about mom. Or, at all.” John said, and Roxy frowned.

“Do you need to call him? He’s probably worried, seeing that you didn’t tell him you were leaving. We’ll be stopping for a night rest soon enough anyway.” Roxy said, and John pulled his hoodie sleeves up.

“I doubt it. We haven’t talked since my birthday, and he just left me a note then.” Roxy tried to contain her shock. That was odd. Actually, she could tell that there was something very, very wrong with what John said, but she decided not to ask for now.

“Oh, well if you’re sure. I mean, I don’t want him to think you’ve been kidnapped.” Roxy tested, and John raised an eyebrow.

“I am sure. And I technically have been, right?” John asked, and Roxy didn’t respond. “Kidding! But you shouldn’t worry about him. He wouldn’t even notice if I was gone.” John said, then moved his face into his seatbelt, and yawned. “Thanks for the story, Roxy.” He said, and Roxy responded quickly.

“Any time, Johnny boy.” She said, and John pulled his hood up. His glasses were on his face, and Roxy frowned at his words, even as she heard him fall into the soft lull of sleep. Something about what John said didn’t seem right, and she started to grow worried.

Eventually, they stopped for the night as well, and the four of them slept semi-peacefully in their parked car. It may not have been the most ideal position, but it would give them an extra edge later. So, for now, the group slept, but tomorrow? They would be ready.

It was 7:00, and Dave stood in front of his school. His brother already left for work, and he wouldn’t be back in time to stop him. Still, Dave left him a note, just in case things went sour. It was hopefully, the most ironic thing he could do for his brother while remaining serious, but he would be fine. He had to be. Equius was there already, standing next to a car that was both large and fast. Kanaya arrived shortly after, followed by Sollux. Dave walked up to the boy, who looked like he was sweating in anticipation.

“Hey, you brought it. Thanks.” He said, and Equius shrugged.

“I am simply upholding my end of the bargain.” He stated. “And… because of this, I sincerely hope you don’t mind the other thing I brought.” Dave looked at him, trying to gauge exactly what he meant. Was it a weapon? A phone? Hopefully, not an adult. Just as Dave was about to question him, a hand opened the door.

“Hi!” Said the person from inside the car, and Dave found that it was Nepeta. He ignored Nepeta’s greeting and turned to Equius in sudden anger.

“Dude, how many people did you tell about this?” He asked, glaring from behind his sunglasses. Equius put his hands up in mock surrender. “Only her! She was there while I was getting the car.” He added, and Nepeta smiled.

“Yeah! Also, I can help with crazy life or death situation stuff.” She said, pulling out her hand. She balled her gloved fingers into a fist, and a set of claws emerged from her knuckles.

“You’re wolverine?” He asked, and she laughed.

“No, they’re just a part of the gloves. Equius built them for me after I asked for knife hands.” She said, and Dave just put a hand on his forehead. This was why humans weren’t supposed to get involved in supernatural activity. It was too dangerous, and judging from Nepeta’s admittedly well made ‘knife hands’, lead  to some really unpredictable results.

“Fine, whatever. Let’s just get this over with, before we’re all dead. Kanaya, do you have the first aid kit?” He asked, and she showed off a string bag.

“Both the kit and my book are present,” She said, then gestured to her waist. “along with my chain saw.”Dave looked at Sollux.

“Anything to add, Sollux?” He asked, and Sollux spoke up.

“Okay, first I want to say that you’re both too young to have those weapons, and I’m only here to haul Karkat out if he falls on his ass. I have my tech right here, and that’s it.” He said, lisping on his words. Dave, rolled his eyes at the boy, but nodded towards the car.

“Yeah, thanks for the contribution Sollux. I have my sword, let’s go.” Dave said, and the group of teenagers piled in the car, putting their weapons in the trunk.

After a little driving, Equius switched the wheel to Dave, and Sollux watched the dot. As the group drove along the road, they realized they needed to stop for gas. When they went to the stop, they saw a kid around their age staring at the barrel of a gun. Dave heard the gun owner’s demand money. Before he could go in and help, the boy shot weird powder at his attacker, and they fell asleep. Against everyone’s words of wisdom, Nepeta walked up to him.

“Woah, how did you do that?” She asked, and he jumped back, a little startled.

“W-What? Hey, you saw?” He asked, and she gave him a ‘well duh’ expression. The boy clenched his fists, but before he could make some more powder, Dave materialized behind Nepeta.

“Hey man, she was just curious. No need to gas anyone else tonight.” He said, and the boy seemed to shrink backwards. He looked and sounded nervous.

“H-Hey, please don’t mess with me. I- I mean, you’ll regret it if you mess with me!” He said, faking confidence, and Dave raised his hands in a surrendering position.

“What? We won’t mess with you, geez. So, did you magic up that powder, or do you have a shooter somewhere?” He asked, and the boy’s arms shook. His little Mohawk bounced up and down as he looked up nervously.

“Are you hunters?” He asked, and while Nepeta looked confused, Dave laughed.

“Us? No way dude. I’m Dave, this is Nepeta.” He said, and the girl waved.

“I’m Tavros. Tavros Nitram.” The boy responded, and Dave looked around.

“So, what are you doing here this late? Do you even have a car?” He asked, and the boy sighed.

“N-No. What are you doing out here this late?”

“We’re stalking Karkat!” Nepeta added, and when he looked up in confusion, Dave amended her words.

“A friend of mine was taken by some hunters. We’re trying to get him back. And we have a car to fill with gas.” He said, and the boy nodded.

“Oh, alright. Uh, Are you...”

“Open to taking one more person that could knock people out for us? Fuck yeah.” Dave said, and Tavros’s eyebrows creased on his face.

“Wait, you really want me to come? I’m not very strong, but if I can help I would like to.” He said, and Dave offered him an open-mouthed smirk without hiding his larger teeth. Nepeta couldn’t see him from her vantage point, but she responded anyway.

“Yeah! The more the merrier, right?” She said, and Dave shrugged.

“Well, more like the more we have, the less chance we have of dying horrifically, but that’s pretty much it.” He said, and Tavros smiled nervously.

“Oh, right. Well, can I join you guys?” He asked, and Nepeta threw her arms out, pointing to their vehicle.

“The car’s that way! Let’s go!” She began to drag him away, but the boy stopped her.

“Oh, W-Wait! I should bring this too!” He said, pointing to a large, rust orange colored object with a point. “It’s, uh, a lance.” He said, and Dave shrugged. Once they returned to the vehicle, Sollux sat in the back. Without looking up from his screen he addressed them.

“Who’s that?” He asked, and Dave rolled his eyes behind his glasses.

“Sollux, this is Tavros. Tavros, meet Sollux, Kanaya, and you know me and Nepeta. Equius is getting food in the store.” He said, and the boy waved meekly.

“Uh, H-Hi.” He said, and Kanaya looked up from her book for a split second, smiled, and looked back down. “Should I just hold this, or-”

“Weapons and stuff are in the trunk.” He said, and Dave opened his arms invitingly. “Welcome to the team, Tavros! Any questions?” He asked, and Tavros looked up nervously.

“Uh, J-Just one. How do you see so well with your sunglasses in the dark?” He asked, and Dave looked down for a second, then whispered in his ear.

“It’s a vampire thing.”

“O-Oh! Right. Uh, I guess that the powder stuff is a fairy thing. It’s not, uh, powder though. M-More like pixie dust.” He said quietly.

“Hey, that’s pretty fucking cool. Also, how is Equius taking so long in there? Nepeta, could you check on him?” He asked, and the girl saluted.

“Aye Sir!” She said, and the girl marched into the store. Tavros awkwardly held his lance, because Equius had the keys that unlocked the trunk. When the pair finally came out, he could hear them arguing about junk food.

“Equius, we’re not getting salads from a gas station!”

“But the sodium content is absolutely ridiculous.” He responded, until he laid eyes on Tavros. “Oh, salutations. You have a lovely lance.” He said, and Tavros put a hand behind his head awkwardly.

“O-Oh, uh thanks! I won it at a jousting competition.” He said, and immediately the two started talking. Dave sighed at this, and eventually, everyone got back in the car. After filling up at the station, the group piled into the car, then continued their drive into the night.

\-------

JAFNF Chapter 31

(Friday, January 19 th )

The next morning, Karkat knocked on Jade and Calliope’s door at 7:00. When Calliope answered the door, as a creature that didn’t require as much physical rest as others, she had no surprise when she found that Jade was still sleeping. However, Karkat didn’t share her understanding sentiments. He saw a half-eaten box of pizza on the floor, along with Jade on the bed in what may have been the least masculine pajamas he’d ever seen. Karkat, who was up and ready for the day, was surprised to see Calliope in a matching set of PJ’s.

“What are you doing? Neither of you are ready, and I said we’d do breakfast at seven!” Karkat said, and Calliope quieted him.

“She’s sleeping, Karkat!”

“I don’t want her to complain about being hungry on the road.” Karkat said, and Calliope couldn’t disagree with his logic.

“Just let her have a few more minutes. We had a wild time last night.” The girl said, and Karkat put a hand up.

“I do not want details. Meet me downstairs in 20 minutes.” He said, and the boy started to walk away, then he turned around. He walked back into the room, and stood in front of Jade. “Jade, wake the fuck up!” He said, yet she didn’t move. He tried shaking her, poking her, and everything he could think of. Then, he stepped back, cupped his hands around his mouth, and whispered. “Hey, wake up sleeping beauty!” He said, and immediately the girl shot awake.

“Hey, I told you not to call me that!” She said, and Callie couldn’t help herself. She burst into laughter. Alright, score one for Karkat. Not that he was counting.

“Sorry Jade, but you probably should get up if you want something to eat.” Calliope said from the corner, and Jade felt around for her glasses, all while attempting a glare at Karkat. Of course, it didn’t look super convincing, considering how tired she was, but points for effort.

“Hurry up, Jade.” She found her glasses, then stood up a little angrily.

“I’ll be down in ten!” She said angrily, and Calliope looked at her.

“What about what we were going to try?” She asked, and Jade brightened up as she remembered.

“Oh, right. I’ll see you in twenty.” She said, and Karkat nodded in satisfaction. “Now get out of our room!” She said, and Karkat started to exit.

“Trust me, I don’t want to be here.” He said, then made his exit. Immediately, Jade grabbed a towel and went for the shower, then left after a solid ten minutes of warmth. She eventually stepped out and clothed herself, and Calliope stood by her with a levitating hairbrush. This would be fun.

Karkat sat by his table angrily. It was almost twenty minutes, and they weren’t there. He waited for another few minutes, and eventually, the two girls appeared. Jade apparently did something to remove that fresh-from-the-wilderness look from her hair, and Calliope looked a little different too. He made no comment.

“Finally.” He said, and he and Jade got in line. Calliope said she didn’t want to eat food, so the two stood there. As they got to a waffle machine, Karkat poured the mix in.

“What are you doing?” Jade asked, and Karkat raised a bushy eyebrow.

“You’ve never had a waffle?” He asked, and Jade crossed her arms defiantly.

“No, not really. Is that a bad thing?” She asked defensively, and Karkat looked at her as if she were insane.

“Yes, that’s a fucking bad thing. Try one.” He offered, handing her the waffle he’d prepared. Jade looked at the strange object on her plate, then shrugged.

“Alright, thanks.” She said honestly, then continued in line. She placed her cup against a machine that gave her orange juice, picked up some fruit, and sat down. Karkat appeared a few minutes later, and the girl started eating.

“How is it?” He asked, and she chewed for a few seconds.

“Hm, it’s… I don’t hate it.” She said honestly, then tried some more. “Actually, it’s pretty good. Thanks Karkat.” She said, and the boy shrugged her words away. Eventually, they finished their food and went to check out.

“I think that’s the first time you two have talked without fighting.” Calliope said, and Jade rolled her eyes.

“What? Well, maybe he’s finally decided to start being civil.” Jade said with a laugh, and Karkat walked behind her angrily.

“Started?” He asked defiantly, and the two started arguing yet again. Calliope just sighed and went to their car. They had a long drive ahead of them- it was better to just appreciate the quiet while it lasted.

The next morning, Jake woke up to a sleeping Roxy in the driver’s seat. He lightly tapped her to wake up, then her eyes immediately popped open. She looked around, and after confirming a lack of immediate danger, she relaxed.

“Morning, Jake!” She said, and the rest of the sleeping people woke up. Eventually, Roxy decided that she would keep driving for now. Their target wasn’t on the move yet, so they had time to catch up. Still, Rose’s stomach loudly voiced its complaint to starting again without breakfast. “You hungry, sis?” She asked, and Rose covered her stomach in embarrassment, but nodded.

“I believe my stomach has rudely made that evident.” She said, and Roxy just laughed.

“Alright Jakey, rest stop first, then we continue.” The group voiced their assent to the idea, and they all ended up at a rest stop. While Roxy and Rose removed the morning breath from their mouths as much as they could, Jake and John searched for a suitable restaurant. They found a diner, and ended up switching places with the two. Rose held their table while Jake and John tried to ready themselves for the day as much as they could.

“Oh, good morning Mr. English.” John said, causing Jake to beam down at him. The man was a hunter, yes, but he loved being a teacher too, and greetings like that made him happy.

“Good morning John. So, how do you like hunting, so far?” He asked, and John shrugged.

“It’s pretty fun.” He said. “But I haven’t seen any vampires yet.” Jake laughed.

“Well, you’ll see them soon enough. You’re pretty good with that hammer. Maybe, if this goes well, we can talk about you joining us more often.” He winked, and John smiled. He liked the idea of being a secret vampire hunter. The hunters he’d met were nice and fun, and they were doing something cool, and secret. It was like being an undercover spy, but he was a vampire hunter. Or, he hoped he would be. With thoughts of missions and hunting in his head, John removed his sweatshirt without thinking. Just as he prepared to feel a little less “I haven’t showered in a day”, he noticed Jake emit a strangled sound from his throat. When he turned to face his teacher, the smiling man’s face drained of color. John looked up in confusion, then realized what the teacher was looking at- his arms. John swallowed, trying to be casual despite how panicked he was. He crossed his arms over each other, as if that would help, and got out of there before Jake could say or do anything.

“Well, bye Mr. English.” John said, and immediately threw on his sweatshirt and ran out of the bathroom, before the teacher could even say anything. As the biology teacher looked at the recently closed door, he blinked, making sure what he just saw was real.

“He’s hurting himself.” He whispered, and stared pathetically at the closed door.

“But I have to use the bathroom!” Someone whined, and Equius just shook his head.

“We can rest in an hour!” We just need to get a little closer-“

“But I really have to go!” Nepeta said, crossing her legs.

“Honestly, I could stand to use a restroom too.” Kanaya said from the back of the car.

“Tech geeks need bathrooms too guys.” Sollux said, and Tavros couldn’t help but voice his opinion on the matter.

“I, uh, would really appreciate a restroom.” Tavros said, and Dave shrugged.

“Equius, I think we have to stop.” Dave said, and the strong boy made a sound of annoyance, but pulled over at the next exit. The group of teenagers all poured out of the vehicle happily. Dave locked the car while everyone, including Equius took a little break. They all had a suitable road trip breakfast, and walked around to remove the tension in their legs.

“I need to call my mother.” Kanaya said, and it elicited similar responses from everyone else. Dave picked up his cell phone to attempt to contact his brother. It didn’t even ring once.

“You little piece of shit.” Dirk said, and Dave smiled in relief. Good, he wasn’t mad.

“Good morning to you too asshole.” He said, and Dirk rolled his eyes on the other end.

“How the fuck are you not dead yet?” his sibling asked, and Dave felt himself smirking.

“Too cool to die. Anyway, a shit ton of people are with me, so we probably won’t die too much.” Dave said, and Dirk sighed.

“You know, you’re going to be fucking dead when you get home.”

“As long as I get home with John I don’t care.” Dave said, and Dirk sighed on the other end.

“You’re insane. I’m going to fucking destroy you.” Dirk said honestly, and Dave felt touched. That pretty much translated to being proud of him.

“Save it for when I get back.”Dave responded coolly, and Dirk sighed.

“Alright, see you then little man.” Dirk said, then hung up. Dave returned to the car. His other friends returned too, save for Tavros, who stayed.

“So, what did yours say?”Dave asked, pointing at Equius.

“He was busy, but he’s out on a business trip right now. As long as I call him fairly often, I’m sure I’ll be alright.” Equius said truthfully.

“Meowlin is okay with it because Equitty is here! But I have to make up whate-fur work I miss at school.” Nepeta pouted, and Kanaya spoke.

“My mother is angry beyond belief, but she respects my decision to help you.”

“Mine never give a shit ever. This isn’t different. Also, I told the school we were on that math team field trip too, so we don’t have to worry about skipping.” Sollux responded, and Dave spread his arms out.

“That’s pretty good overall. Also, thanks Sollux, that’s great. No unexcused absences to worry about, I guess.” He said and the group piled back into the car. “Alright, so how many miles are we away from them?” Dave asked, and Sollux looked down at his laptop.

“We’re just over 1700 miles out. Wait, what the fuck?” Sollux asked, and Dave waited for an explanation. “They just teleported forward like, 100 miles! Is this thing broken?” He said, and Dave shook his head.

“No, they probably did. It’s complicated, don’t worry about it.” The three humans and fairy all shared looks, then looked between Dave and Kanaya in confusion. No, that wasn’t something any of them felt comfortable dismissing to the phrase ‘it’s complicated”. Just as Sollux prepared to demand an actual explanation, Kanaya rushed to fill the gap in conversation.

“Uh, anyway, how long will traversing 1800 miles take us?” Kanaya asked, smoothly changing the subject. For a moment, Sollux focused on something other than the teleporting Karkat.

“About 30 hours at speed limit, but if the road is empty about 20. Either way, we have a long drive. We’re moving faster than them, but it’s not going to be easy to catch up.” Sollux said, and Dave shrugged.

“That’s okay, we don’t really have to.  We just need to catch up to some people behind them, they have John.” He said, and Sollux looked at him in confusion.

“Wait, you mean your friend, John Egbert? When did he come into this?” He asked, and Dave frowned.

“I didn’t agree to giving details. Trust me- everyone’s going to be fine.” The uneasy looks came back, and Equius noticed with budding alarm that Dave didn’t seem to believe what he was saying, but they drove on without protest. Whether it was because everyone was too awkward to ask, or were legitimately okay with Dave’s words, no one said anything, and they continued their trip.

John was exquisitely quiet during breakfast, as was Jake. They kept avoiding each other’s eyes, and after Roxy and Rose walked away for a minute, Jake tried to talk.

“How long has this been going on?” He asked, and John looked up at him darkly.

“I need you to be more specific.”

“Your arms, John.” He said softly, and the boy sighed.

“Well, the arms were just this year. Everywhere else was freshman year. Rose knows. She tried to help, but she was too far away to physically comfort me. These aren’t fresh though. I haven’t done them since the last time Caliborn-” John paused. “Nothing.” Jake put a hand on John’s.

“The last time Caliborn what, John?” John didn’t want to respond, but his teacher was unrelenting. “The last time Caliborn what?” He asked, more forcefully this time. John avoided his face.

“Since the last time Caliborn.. did the… bullying thing, I guess.” Jake’s eyes widened, and John put his hands up wildly. “Not like punching me or anything! It’s not that! Or, not always.” He looked at him desperately.

“It’s more like what he says, right? That you’re worthless, or not good enough.” Jake said, and John didn’t deny it.

“I know it’s not true.” He said, and Jake sighed.

“But you’re terrified that it is. Is that why you do this, John?” He asked, and John shrugged. “Why didn’t you come to someone?” He asked, and the boy pulled back.

“Who? You were just one of my teachers. Before Dave, I didn’t even have friends in real life.” John said.

“I thought you were just a good student, and just quiet in my class.”

“I’m quiet in every class. Or maybe, I should have gone to my dad, right? Well, I haven’t had a real conversation with him since mom died! I barely even see him. He probably doesn’t know that I’m gone! No one could or would help me. I would never go to our councilors, and there were no other options!” John said, suddenly bursting in anger. Jake sighed.

“John, I’ll always be an option. Roxy too. You know that now, right?”

“I do, but that didn’t help me when I had a razor in my bathroom!” He said, and John realized he was starting to get too angry. He lowered his voice, but he was still upset with himself, and upset that this was what he needed to do to feel control over himself. He couldn’t start crying again, but he was angry, and disappointed in  himself, and frustrated. And now the first adult that knew was telling him to get help, like that would just make it go away. “Either way. It didn’t change what I did before. I can’t get rid of these, so getting ‘help’ won’t help!” He said, and Jake didn’t know what to say. He looked at John, and tried to give the best advice he could.

“I know John, but can you honestly tell me that you won’t do it again?” He said, and John couldn’t answer him. “Then getting help will help you. John, you know that Roxy, Rose and I are here for you.” He said, and John looked away from his teacher.

“I know. But I don’t want to go tell the world yet.” He said, and Jake rubbed his shoulder.

“You don’t have to. Just tell someone that can help you, and know that we’ll always be there for you, alright?” He said, and John relented.

“Alright. Thanks, Mr. English.” John said, and Jake laughed.

“Please, you can call me Jake.” He said, and John looked to the side.

“Uh, okay… Jake.” John said, and a cringe fell on both his and his teacher’s faces. “Actually, I think I’ll just call you Mr. English.”

“That’s..yes, I believe that’s a little less awkward.” He said with a laugh, and John laughed a little in agreement.  Eventually, Rose and Roxy came back, and the four were once again prepared to hit the road.

_____________

JAFNF Chapter 32

(Friday, January 19 th )

Back in Washington, Dirk looked at his cellphone. His younger brother was a dumbass, but he was a resilient dumbass, and he was dedicated to his friend. Dirk wasn’t super worried, especially since he had others with him, but he didn’t know what type of problems he would face on the road. Still, if Dirk was being honest with himself, he knew he couldn’t really stop Dave. At the end of the day, his brother would find a way to get to John Egbert. That sounded way more romantic than he intended, but Dirk didn’t want to think about his younger brother’s love life. Not when he had his own to deal with. So, he stared at the cell phone. He needed to just talk to Jake. That way, he could clear up whether he was just a means to an end, or if he was something more. Dirk had built the man a training robot a few days before he realized he was a hunter. This could all just be a huge misunderstanding though. At least, Dirk hoped it was. So, he stared at his phone, and he knew what he needed to do.

Jacob Egbert stepped into his home that morning. Yes, you heard me. I said Jacob Egbert. Anyway, he placed his bag down on the floor. The man had been on business trips for weeks. A thought entered his mind about his son, and he froze. He saw the mantle that held Jane’s picture. Jane. Jacob loved Jane, and John looked exactly like her. His hair had his texture, but those eyes were all hers. Looking at his son hurt. Still, he wanted to make sure he was still alright. Speaking of that, he couldn’t tell if John was even home. Well, he wouldn’t be, because he had school. Jacob collapsed on the couch. He could wait until his son came home, but for now he just needed some quiet.

At four O clock that Day, John’s dad wasn’t worried. He didn’t know when his school ended, but he assumed that was why his son wasn’t home yet.

At five, he started to get uncomfortable. Where was John? Even if he didn’t plan to talk to him, Jacob wanted him to be present. He was wondering if something was wrong.

At six, the Dad found himself staring at the door every ten seconds. Maybe his child was with a friend. Where was he? The ‘find my phone’ app wasn’t working (maybe he turned off his location?) and he didn’t know what to do. John should have been there by now, unless he had something at school that lasted until 6:00 at night. Right.

At 10:00, Jacob knew something was wrong. No friend should keep him out this late, and no normal school event would take this long either. Already, two fully frosted cakes sat on the countertop, and another was in the oven. Still, what could he do? Calling the police probably wasn’t a good idea yet, considering that he hadn’t even called his son. So, that’s what he had to do. The man wasn’t well versed in the act of communicating outside of business. That’s why he was stress baking. Still, he had about 20 minutes until this next cake needed to be ready, so he called John’s phone. The few minutes when it rang may have been some of the most stressful ones in his life.

“Hello?” A voice asked on the other end, and Dad was flooded with feelings of relief. He was alright, so Dad could go now. Then, he realized how strange and rude just hanging up would be.

“Jonathan, it’s me, your father.” He said, and he felt an awkward silence on the other end.

“Oh. Okay. Why are you calling me, is something wrong?” He asked, his voice getting worried.

“Oh, no. Nothing is wrong. I happened to be home today and noticed that you weren’t there. Where are you?” He asked, and John had to excuse himself for a minute. When he returned, he answered.

“I’m on a field trip for the math team.” He said, and Dad’s eyebrows raised in surprise. His son was on the math team? He couldn’t remember John mentioning that. Now that he thought about it, was John still a freshman in school? He didn’t even remember.

“Alright. Enjoy yourself.” He said, and John assented that he would. That was his first conversation with his son in months. The two never talked anymore, literally. Anyway, now that he knew that his son was alright, he went on to do other things. He surprisingly didn’t have any work to catch up on, so the man found himself chewing on a slice of cake and checking his son’s school webpage for a math team.

He found a list of club at the school, ranging from things like Future business leaders associations to anime clubs, with everything in between. So, when he found a lack of a math team on the site, he got worried. Something was off about this. Against what may have been his better judgment, Jacob called the school, and a secretary answered.

“Hello, I am a parent of one of the students. Does your school have a math team?” he asked, and the woman paused for a moment.

“No, I don’t believe we do. All of our extracurricular and club activities are posted on our school’s website.” She said, and the man looked at the phone in his hands. The woman seemed to notice his silence. “Sir, are you-”

“Thank you.” He interrupted, and he hung up. Something was wrong with John. The man knew what a responsible parent would have done. He would have called his son, called his school, called his friends, or track his phone. Something. Jacob’s eyes turned to the portrait that hung in the living room. It was the center of his house, the center of his life- Jacob shook his head. There was no way he could deal with this now. He felt the need to bake some more cake.

John’s hands shook. Everyone in the car heard that conversation. Roxy looked back at him, an expression he couldn’t really describe on her face. He felt like she supported him, but at the same time, was angry about something. No one commented on how his father just happened to be home, or how John didn’t believe his father would call him unless something was seriously wrong. No, they didn’t comment, they did worse. They thought about it, and said nothing. Everyone cast John looks out of the corners of their eyes. Thankfully, Rose, psychological, genius, kind Rose changed the subject.

“So, how close are we?” She asked, and Jake looked down to the device.

“Well, we’re catching up, but they’re still far ahead. I think it would take us about ten hours to get to them, so get ready for some action today or tomorrow.” Rose smiled gratefully.

“Good, It’s nice to know that we can wrap this up soon. Where are we?”

“Actually, we just passed a ‘welcome to Utah’ sign a while ago. So, I would guess that we’re in Utah.” He added, and Roxy gasped.

“Jakey, oh my gosh! We’re totally going, like full scale road trip here!” She said, and the statement earned a smile from John. This was his first real road trip, and so far it was fun. Granted, he expected something like this to happen with Rose, Jade and Dave present, but he would take what he could get. Surprisingly, a teacher, a hacker, and a psychologist in everything but title were good company for a road trip like this. This was the first time John really felt like he was a part of a group. That wasn’t the focus of this mission at all, but it was still nice to be included. John sighed. Only ten more hours to go.

Karkat looked down at his laptop in boredom. He already finished both his class work and his school work, so now he had nothing to do. Jade and Calliope were chatting about some girly dress thing, and frankly, all Karkat wanted was for this trip to be over. Then, he felt discomfort between his legs. He apparently wanted more than that, namely a bathroom.

“Hey, can we stop for a minute? I need to use the restroom.” He said, and Calliope shrugged. Of course, Jade took it as an opportunity to one up him.

“Hey, look who’s asking for rest stops now, Karkat? What happened to you screaming at me to eat breakfast this morning and wake up?” She asked, a challenging tone in her voice. She was smirking, because she knew Karkat couldn’t win this. Callie laughed, and Karkat knew he really couldn’t debate that. Score one for Jade. He looked at Calliope, annoyed.

“Whatever, can we just stop?” He asked irritably, and Calliope shrugged.

“Sure, I don’t mind a quick detour.” She said, and they ended up in front of another rest stop. Karkat went inside to take care of his business, but when he walked out, Jade and Calliope were gone. He looked around and saw a small store, then rolled his eyes. The two girls were, predictably, inside the small business with a bag of water bottles. They purchased them, along with a bag of some chip Jade had never tried, and they got back on the road.

“Jade, I’m feeling a little hungry. Could you possibly spare me a bite of happiness?”

“Sure!” She said, then added more. “As long as Karkat doesn’t speak.” She added cheekily, and Karkat rolled his eyes.

“Please, we know that it’s not me that makes you unhappy. It’s more the other way around.” He said, and Jade groaned.

“Whatever you say Karkat, because it’s obvious that I’m exploding with joy over our conversation.”

“See!” He said, directing his words towards Calliope. “I don’t fucking get this! Jade acts nice around you, but as soon as I walk in the fucking room she has some sort of problem!” He exploded, and Jade placed her hands on her hips.

“Well, maybe if you tried to understand me, you would get me more!”

“Oh yes Jade, and you’re just the goddess of wisdom. You act like this is one sided, but it’s not! You don’t get me either!”

“I get that you’re a troll whose purpose in life is to annoy me!”

“No, I’m not. Don’t call me a fucking troll. My purpose right now is to keep a walking, talking, oh so gogdamn annoying battery and some ultra powerful cherub girl from dying while being confronted. I’m trying to save my friends here! You don’t know anything about me!” Jade deflated a little at the first sentence, and she found a tinge of guilt rise up within her. Maybe she wouldn’t call him a troll any more, but that didn’t mean she’d let him win this argument.

“Really? I think I summarized your personality pretty well. But if you’d like a better description, I’d say that insatiable fuckass with one volume setting and a problem with everyone fits just as well! I’ve been around you for days, and all you do is just scream and whine and get up too early and whine some more. I already know enough about you to know you’re not a good person, and that’s all I need to know about you, Karkat!” She said defiantly, and Karkat suppressed a growl.

“What’s my favorite color?”

“What?”

“You fucking heard me, what’s my favorite color?” She exploded in confusion, and anger.

“Why does that have any relevance at all?!” Karkat glared.

“You’re saying you know me, but you’re wrong. You don’t get the first thing about me. Do you think being bitten was a walk in the park for me? It was the worst thing that fucking happened to me, and now I have to deal with you and a ton of shit because of it!”

“Well, you should know that bitten wasn’t easy for me either! Do you honestly think that living with no one that could physically speak to me for years was easy? It wasn’t! But I’m not bitter and angry about it like you!” Jade seethed. By now, the two were shouting. Karkat lowered his voice.

“Fine.” He said, and Jade looked at him in confusion. She didn’t know what that meant. Karkat sighed, and put a hand over his eyes, He moved it downward, and locked eyes with her.“Look, I’ll try to understand you before I judge you too much, as long as you’ll do the same for me.” Karkat said, and Jade’s eyes narrowed. She searched for insincerity, or another jab at being an awful person, but found that he was sincere. Her shoulders relaxed a little, and she came to a decision.

“I- Okay, Karkat. I’ll try too.” She said, and no one spoke until Callie cleared her throat.

“Uh, not to interrupt our reflective silence, dear, but could I have that feeding now?” She asked, and Jade looked surprised.

“Oh, right! Sorry for forgetting. Here, you can go for it.” She said, and Calliope went for it. She tried to feed off Jade’s natural positivity, but ended up less refreshed than usual. Jade looked at her face. “Is something wrong?” Calliope shook her head.

“No, it was fine. Just.. your emotions are so mixed, dear. It was harder to pick out the happiness.” Jade bent her head down.

“I’m sorry. Maybe you can get a better one later.” Calliope smiled.

“It’s quite alright. If you need to sort out your feelings, I wouldn’t dare interrupt.” Jade’s eyes carefully avoided Karkat’s, and she rested a hand on her chin as she looked towards the window.

“Thanks, Callie. Oh, and Karkat?” She asked, and he looked up.

“Yeah?” He questioned, wondering what she wanted. His thoughts began to turn negative towards Jade. The stupid battery girl couldn’t even charge ri-

“What’s your favorite color?” His eyes widened in surprise, and a thought flew through his mind before he answered. One point for Jade.

Dave ran a hand through his hair. He wanted a shower, and something more filling than a bag of chips. He craved a strife with his brother, or just something that got him out of this car. While he did have some fun playing videogames with Sollux, he missed John. Now that he couldn’t talk to him, he felt like something was missing. He wanted a flash of blue text on his screen more than anything. And he missed John’s laugh. He really missed John’s laugh, and eyes, and face, and weird little jokes and- well, he missed John. So, as he stared out of the window to see the slowly appearing stars, his mind wandered. Actually, this road trip would have been a lot more fun if John were here. They could laugh at dumb things and watch Con Air for the millionth time. Dave kept trying to assure himself he hated the movie, but he couldn’t really hate anything he did with John.

Speaking of that, how would he react when he found out about Dave being a vampire? Hopefully, Tavros could knock him out and convince him that this was all a dream, so that he could tell his friend in his own way. Dave wasn’t really allowed to tell humans this sort of thing, but if he couldn’t trust John, he couldn’t trust anyone. Of course, that just made Dave think of how he would tell him.

It wasn’t like Dave could transform into a bat, like in the movies. No, transformation was really more of a werewolf thing. Still, maybe he could do something that proved it. He could show his teeth, or enter his room late at night and start glowing. That would do it. Or, he could bring him over to a mirror, and let him see for himself. That was always an option. But he would have to make it cooler than just showing him.

Maybe he could take him to one of those mirror funhouses that Dave had never been to, for obvious reasons. He could point at one, then John would see that nothing was reflected back. He’d question it, not believe it, and Dave would remove his sunglasses and tell him. He would either believe him, or not accept it until later. John wouldn’t think he was weird. Or, at least he hoped not. Then again, Dave said it himself. Being a vampire is fucking creepy, and he knew it. How could John even look at him the same way? Would he be scared that Dave would try to turn him, or hurt him? Would John hate him for it? No, Egbert wouldn’t hate him, unless those hunters made him do it.

They would lie to him, hurt him, and convert him. That’s what hunters do. The hunters were an insane cult of murderers, and his older brother was dating one. Plus, the man happened to be his teacher, and the fact’s creepiness was only outdone by the fact that he’d managed to date his brother in the week that he knew the guy. And they said teenagers moved quickly. Regardless, Dave did doubt that the guy came to the school just to get Dave, but the circumstances seemed too improbable for it to all be a big misunderstanding. Still, that’s what Dave hoped it was, for his brother’s sake. His mind forced itself off Dirk. He knew the guy wasn’t pleased with him, and he cringed at what would wait for him when he got home- Dave shuddered. New topic.

John. What would he do if or when he told him? Let’s just say he went with the funhouse idea, hypothetically. His friend would be surprised, nervous, maybe even think it was cool, even if it really wasn’t. Still, if he was weirded out by it, which Dave was sure he would be, Dave could reassure him. He could let his friend know that he would be okay. Put a hand on his shoulder, look him in the eye, get close to his face. Really close. He would let him know that it would be alright while showing off his fangs, and John would finally show that prize winning smile. Then, he would look away for a second, and slowly lean closer and closer. Dave would smirk, then move his head forward too, until-

“Pounce-hug!” Nepeta cried from the backseat. Dave immediately broke out of his daydream. That’s right, she and Tavros were doing some weird role-play thing.

“Ah! Don’t scare me like that, uh, lady Nepeta!” Tavros said in response, and the two burst into little laughs.

“Stay in character!” She insisted, and Dave shook his head. He saw Equius tut at her in disappointment without removing his eyes from the road, then return to his conversation involving books with Kanaya. Sollux had a headset on, and he was saying swears into it quietly.

“I swear, if you try to go for that fucking treasure chest- I don’t care, Tula! Gosh I fucking swear, you asshole we don’t have enough to go for it.” Sollux was silent for a second. “The last time we tried one of your entry level hacks, it found us and made us start over from the beginning! Don’t fucking try it.”  He said, and Dave looked away again. “You fucking tried it!” He shouted, and Dave noticed his face getting angry. That left Dave alone to his thoughts. They were going somewhere unprecedented. Why would they even go there? It’s not like he wanted that. No, John Egbert was his best friend in the world. Still, scenarios like that didn’t just appear for no reason. Something was weird. Maybe it was just that he was worried. Right, of course he was. Why wouldn’t he be, hunters kidnapped his friend! Still, he could not dwell on it. He would find him, and bring him back to safety.

He had to.

AN: What? What small mention of Latula, I don’t know what you’re talking about. Also, Dave’s daydreams..whew. I can’t wait for the last part of this road trip! 32 Chapters is not bad, at all. ((expect 100 more. Haha kill me now.))

JAFNF Chapter 33

(Saturday, August 20 th )

“Alright blokes, today is the day!” Jake said early that morning. He had a piece of toast on his plate. They all stopped for breakfast again. After all, they would need it.

“Do we have a strategy?” John asked, and Roxy answered.

“Kind of. We really just need to fight them.” Roxy said, then continued. “It should be like four on one or two, and just a vampire too, so this shouldn’t be too hard. Rose, try not to throw the needles, keep them in your hands. Jake, don’t shoot all of your bullets at once-”

“That was one time!”

“And it was as funny as hell. There was wood everywhere. John, I don’t want you fighting yet. They just need to know that you’re here, and that they can’t feed on you anymore. Rose, try to leave the heavy hitting to me and Jakey too. I know you’ve been at it for years, but you’re still out of practice. I’ll do a death blow with my sword, unless someone else has a better shot. Don’t look them in the eyes.” She said, and everyone nodded in agreement. John didn’t like that he was killing someone, but he thought about what they wanted to do to him, and he knew that this was the right course of action. Eventually, they finished their food. Jake and Rose filed out, and John was about to go behind  them but Roxy pulled him back.

She smiled at him, but her face changed to a look of concern. “Also, Johnny boy. I understand that you haven’t hunted before. It can be easy to let our emotions affect us when we do this.” She said, and looked down. “I know this one is going to be personal. If for whatever reason you’re not up for it, it’s okay.” She said, and John’s eyebrows scrunched. “Trust me, I know it doesn’t sound that bad or hard at first, but you may be surprised. If you’re not up for fighting them, whoever they are, it is alright. We can handle them. I know they’re close to you.” John gave her a little nod, and Roxy sighed in relief. “Good, I just wanted you to know. No one gave me that option my first time. Try to have fun, alright?” John opened his mouth into an unsure smile.

“I’ll try. Thanks, Roxy.” The woman ruffled his hair.

“Of course, kid.” She said, and they exited the diner. They only had two more hours to go.

“Alright, listen up! We reach our destination in about two hours.” Karkat said, then closed his eyes and concentrated. “And, they’re exactly ten minutes behind us. Right on schedule.” He said and Calliope smiled.

“Good, now all we have to do is arrive, and fight.” Calliope said, and Jade nodded happily.

“Yeah! We only have two hours, and then we can fight those hunters. But what happens if we can’t beat them?” Jade questioned, and Karkat sighed.

“If they bring a ton of people and things start to look bad, we at least need to leave them stranded out here. Calliope, go for their vehicles, stomp their phones, just whatever, so that they’re stuck. We don’t want to have to deal with those fuckers ever again.” He said, then paused. “But we should be able to take them, they couldn’t have bought that many people, and you’re a killing machine, Calliope.” He said, and she sighed.

“When I have to be. Hunters are pretty dreadful. But can you imagine the look on their faces when they see me as Dave’s ‘human’ older brother, destroying them with my wand?” She questioned, and Jade laughed a little.

“They’ll be surprised.” She said, and received general sounds of agreement. She turned to Karkat, intent on making an effort to know him better. “So, Karkat. Did you finish all of your homework?” She asked, and Karkat was taken aback. Here he was, having a regular conversation with Jade Harley, the girl he hated yesterday. Now, he didn’t know what to think. He never realized their conversations could be this normal.

“I actually did, why?” He asked, and she sent a knowing glance to Calliope, who grinned.

“We’re making super-sonas.” Calliope said, and Karkat looked up in confusion.

“What? What is that?”

“You know how we’re like werewolves and vampires and stuff, right?” Jade asked, and Karkat nodded.

“Yes, I believe I’m aware, O wise one.” Karkat said, and Jade shoved him.

“Whatever. We have to make a version of ourselves, but not as what we are! So I could be a vampire, or a cherub or a troll or something.” She said, and Calliope smiled.

“It’s actually quite fun!” She said, making a piece of paper appear, along with a clipboard.

“That sounds horrible.” He said, and Jade shook her head.

“No, it’s fun, I promise! Here’s mine from last night!” She said, and a piece of paper appeared in her hands. It was an admittedly well drawn image of Jade, and she had dark grey skin, along with yellow horns that looked dog ear shaped. “See, it can be fun.” She insisted, and Karkat’s eyes widened.

“Wait, is this what you were up late doing?” He asked, and Jade shrugged.

“Yes, along with other things.” Calliope answered, and Karkat shook his head.

“I would rather- I mean, I’m good, thanks.” He amended his words. Jade crossed her arms over her chest.

“What are you doing that’s better than this anyway?” She asked, and Karkat sighed.

“Watching  _ Sleepless in Seattle _ .” Jade wrinkled her nose.

“You’re doing what?”

“It’s a movie.” Karkat said, his voice bordering on defensive. “Why, you don’t like it?” He asked, and Jade shook her head.

“I’ve never seen it. The last movie I saw that was recommended to me was Con Air, and it was-” Karkat’s fist pounded the seat.

“Someone told you to watch that 90’s Nicholas Cage filth? And you did it?” He asked, and Jade sighed.

“We didn’t really have a choice.”

“You always have the choice not to watch bad movies.” He said, and Calliope looked back in interest.

“What’s this movie about sleeping?” She asked, and Karkat responded immediately.

“Pull over, We’re doing a switch. I’m driving, and you two are watching one of the best rom coms in the history of time.” Karkat said, and Calliope couldn’t help but comply.

Equips switched out of the driver’s seat. His arms felt like lead, and his butt hurt from their constant time on the endless road. He was practically prepared to fall over. Kanaya kindly noticed this and took the wheel. He decided he liked this girl. She was smart, well mannered, and well versed in quite a few subjects. Kanaya, Dave’s friend, was slightly older than everyone else in the car. She was good to talk to. Still, they’d talked for long enough, and Equius wanted some sleep before they arrived. Speaking of that, Equius wanted to know how much longer they would spend on this open, empty road.

“Excuse me Sollux, what is the remaining time until our journey’s end?” He asked, and the boy didn’t even look at him. How rude. His relationship with Sollux had always been a complicated one. They weren’t friends in the slightest, but were constantly thrown in situations together, due to their overlapping interests… in a multitude of things.

“We have three hours until we catch up with them.” He said, then added more. “Now, don’t talk to me, I have DOTA to play.”

Equius shook his head dismissively. He wasn’t planning on talking anyway. This entire trip clearly had some deeper elements behind it. The circumstances of their quote unquote rescue mission were suspicious, at best. Still, Equius could handle himself. He did still want to know what Dave was hiding from them, which was clearly a lot. But Equius was patient. He could wait for the answers to come, and he was sure they would eventually.

Meanwhile, Nepeta didn’t really care about these secret agendas. She knew she was going to help people, and she gained a new RP friend from it too. What more could she need? Her ideas were simple, but genuine. While Nepeta didn’t know John personally, she always heard about how good of a student he was, and she decided that she wanted to help him. Granted, she started the mission believing that she would save Karkat from some unknown terror, but still. This was good too. Hopefully they would still get to see Karkat along the way. Maybe, now that they were on this weird quest, she would get to know him better.

She liked Tavros a lot. He was nice, and enjoyed roleplay with her. She was a fearsome cat- human warrior, and he was a fairy knight. He was good at roleplaying, and it was a good way to make the long car trip go by. Un-fur-tunately, he was asleep right now. Then, she had an idea. Nepeta found a pencil from her string bag, along with a notebook filled with drawings. The girl started sketching the bases for their characters. They were both in heroic poses. She hoped she did his knight armor right, along with  his Peter pan hat. When he woke up, she eagerly showed him her masterpiece.

“Oh wow, uh thanks Nepeta! That’s really good!” He said enthusiastically, and she smiled.

“Thanks, Tavros! Would you like to have it?” Tavros looked at her in surprise.

“Really?” He asked, and she nodded. “Wow Nepeta.. thank you.” He said genuinely. That was really kind of her, and Tavros appreciated it. They went on to talk about their OCs, and Sollux grunted and put his headset in more.

He could hear every word they were saying, along with the person he was actually supposed to be listening to, Latula. She was a good gamer, though he’d never admit that to her. The issue lied in how annoying she was. She’d always laugh at him for missing a checkpoint, and go for every treasure chest, even when it was unrealistic to do so. The girl tried out every cheat code she found on the internet, and most of them didn’t work or pushed them back from what they needed to do. The girl was an asset and a liability. And, also his older brother’s girlfriend, but whatever. He could ignore that for now.

“Sollux, come on. She’s right there!” She said, and Sollux groaned.

“Oh my gob Latula, it is obviously a trap!”

“Why?” She argued, and Sollux shook his head.

“This is an NPC with a health gauge that’s asking you to let her out. Obviously, we’ll have to fight her!”

“But what if she’s actually an asset to us?”

“It doesn’t matter, we’ll be fine! Let’s just fucking continue!”

“No, I’m helping her.”

“Tula you asshole, don’t you fucking dare.” Sollux saw her walk towards the trapped girl, and he could only watch in horror when she freed it.

_ Thank you for your assistance, Hero.  _ The in game dialogue read.

“Ha, Sol, I was right! You can apologize now.”

_ I was sent to destroy a hero with a heart of gold. It seems that I’ve found you. _ The dialogue paused for a second, then continued.  _ Die. _ It said, and immediately the girl became a gigantic boss.

“Gob fucking damnit, Latula.”

Kanaya flipped through the pages of her novel. So far, the story was well written. As she scanned through page after page of mytho- magical wizard drama, she replaced her bookmark. Although she seemed fine, Kanaya worried about her mother’s reaction to her actions. Still, she couldn’t deny Dave when his intentions were so pure. Even if the hunters were using John as a bargaining chip, she knew Dave would sacrifice everything for him, and under the right circumstances, John would do the same. Still, she had to be there to stop him from paying the ultimate price. His loved ones would never forgive themselves, or him, if he died trying to keep John safe. So, she said she’d help him.

While she didn’t expect the other company that joined them, she was appreciative. Two vampires against a single experienced hunter could really hurt them. Plus, she enjoyed Equius’s company as well. He was nice, and knew a lot about a variety of things. She liked his genuine interest in what she had to say, and he didn’t sound like he was just tolerating her talk of books. Overall, this little road trip was fun, and if it could save John or Dave’s lives, she would gladly take any consequences.

John’s father now had a grand total of ten cakes, along with cookies in a variety of flavors and other things on his counter. He looked like he owned a bakery, or something. He was stressed, and since he had over a week off from work, he didn’t know what to do. So he stress baked, and didn’t stop. He wanted to give some of this to someone else, but he couldn’t, because he didn’t live with anyone else, and John wasn’t home.

Why would his son lie to him, and turn off his GPS? The worst part was that Jacob didn’t even know that he was lying. If he didn’t check with the school, Jacob would have never suspected a thing. Still, he couldn’t figure out why his child would be away from home this late, then lie about it. Jacob hoped he wasn’t doing something illegal. Still, it didn’t seem like John to go do drugs late at night. Then again, his supply of money for basic food items was a little lower than usual, but there was a lot of food in the pantry.

There was no one he could ask about this, and it was clear that John did not intend to tell him what was going on.

Oddly enough, Dolorosa felt kind of the same way, but on a far less confused scale. She was definitely upset with her daughter. Her child went behind her back and did something that she clearly knew her mother didn’t condone. Yet, at the same time, she understood why. They were young and reckless. Not only that, but both Kanaya and Dave Strider were purebloods, meaning that they were far more impulsive than others of their species or age. Then again, that was why Dolorosa told Karkat, Calliope, and Jade not to share the details of their plan with anyone, including her. She thought that would keep Dave from running to his death. Of course, she guessed that Dave may find a way to John, but to include Kanaya on his blood run as well was unprecedented.

When her daughter explained her reasoning, Dolorosa found herself impressed by both her maturity and compassion. Dolorosa was still upset, yes, but she found that she didn’t oppose her actions as much after that. In truth, Dolorosa didn’t know how they would rescue John when they found out that he was kidnapped. So, she didn’t have a very solid argument against Dave’s wish to go find his friend. She knew that he was the type of person that would gladly exchange his life for John’s, so long as there was no other option. Dolorosa also knew that while a method of thinking like that was admirable and knight like, it was also dangerous, especially when coupled with the fact that he was both a teenager and a pureblood. She had her reservations, but at the end of the day, Dolorosa couldn’t help but be fond of Karkat, Dave and Kanaya. They were impulsive and teenagers, but they were noble, smart, kind and brave, and Dolorosa could not have been prouder of any of them.

When he found a note on the countertop, Dirk wasn’t even surprised. He remembered Dolorosa telling him why Dave couldn’t know things because he was impulsive. The woman was right, of course, but she didn’t live with Dave. She didn’t know what he was capable of, nor did she know what he’d do for his loved ones. So, while she was surprised that Dave found a way to get to the hunters, Dirk wasn’t in the slightest. Of course he would do this, and no amount of common sense, restraint, or threat of future pain would stop him. He was a Strider, and that’s just what he did. In a way, Dirk was proud of Dave for making his own decision, but he also knew he would give him hell for all of this. Not that it mattered. Dave was willing to take any punishment in stride if it meant his dork of a friend would be okay.

Dirk remembered when Dave received his shades from his friend in the mail. Now, sunglasses were part of what made a Strider so unique, so when Dave replaced the triangular lenses that he literally wore all the time for some gift he received in the mail, Dirk knew that it was a big deal. Dave still had the triangular glasses on his shelf, but he wore those aviator shades every day, and not just because of what they were. No, Dave wore them because of who gave them to him, and even if Dave was not aware, Dirk was.

When Dave brought a person back from his first day in a school, Dirk would have bet money that it was John Egbert. Of course it was. When Dave Strider jumped out of a car and pouted, literally pouted after John’s attentions were focused on something other than his blonde friend, Dirk didn’t question or doubt the actions for a second. When Dave walked out of John Egbert’s home with his sunglasses in his pocket, showing something he was always sensitive about to John Egbert, of all people, Dirk wasn’t surprised.

John Egbert was a world of possibilities, hopes, ‘what if’s’, and everything else for his little brother. So when Dave ran off to quite possibly go die for John, Dirk wasn’t surprised at all. How could he be, when the same situation happened a million times, just on a smaller scale of importance? It wasn’t logical for something like that to surprise him, and it didn’t. Dirk knew this would happen ahead of time and he accepted it.

That didn’t mean that Dirk wasn’t worried. No, that wasn’t it at all. He was terrified that a shaken John and Kanaya would return, and one of them would give him the bad news. He was terrified that the last memory he would really have of his brother was him being upset over John’s kidnapping. That the last ‘good’ memory they really had together was over Jake. That Dirk’s aforementioned boyfriend would aid in his brother’s death. He was felt horrified by all of these things, but he accepted it. He couldn’t help his brother since he didn’t know where he was, and by now there was no way he’d reach him in time to stop him from dying.  So when,(not if, but when) Dave returned, Dirk would destroy his younger brother. Dave deserved it, but he also expected it. The problem was that Dirk knew if he had the chance to change a decision, he would do the exact same thing again if it meant John would be safe.

In a way, Dirk wanted to blame John for all of this, but he knew he couldn’t. Really, the blame should have been placed on Dirk, for molding his younger sibling to be this much like him. Dave would attract someone like John, because all of his weaknesses were John’s strengths, and vice versa. Dave was excellent physically, attentive, and adaptive. That’s what John needed, and that’s exactly what Dave had. John was caring, and kind, and had the ability to make others feel better. Those were all things Dave wasn’t good at. He was raised to be bad at it, so of course he would need a John in his life to help him. They weren’t necessarily opposites, just complements of each other. That was why Dave was willing to risk his life for John, and why John would be willing to do the same in the right circumstances. Dirk doubted that John really could bring himself to hurt Dave, even with whatever lies and tactics the hunters have used on him. No, if something happened it would be because of one of the others, not because of John.  But Dirk didn’t want his little impulsive brother to get hurt. He loved Dave, and he wanted to be there, but he was smart. He knew there was nothing he could do.

Dirk considered John a little more. The boy was shy, and nerdy, but Dirk realized that he was a lot more outgoing around Dave. And, Dave seemed more expressive around John too. They worked well together. Dirk liked John, and knew he cared about his younger sibling. And of course, Dave cared about John too. Which was… good. Very good, when Dirk thought about it. He put a hand on his chin. John was the first person Dave’s age that the vampire interacted with in person. Even at this new school, Dave seemed to like John. And Dirk certainly liked John. The human boy would be good for his little brother. The more he thought about it, the more Dirk liked the idea of Dave and John being close. Immediately, he had a pencil in his hands, and an idea for a new building project in his mind. Older brothers were supposed to help with their sibling’s love lives, right? John and Dave were close friends. Maybe, Dirk could help those two get closer.

\--______________--

AN: What the heck dirk is freaking meta shipping what am I even doin

JAFNF Chapter 34

(Saturday, August 20 th )

“I think we need to get out in ten minutes. We need to start getting off the road and going out into the open desert.” Karkat said, and Jade put the things she was doing down.

“Alright, can you put our disguises on, Callie?” Jade asked, and the girl nodded affirmatively.

“Right, I will. Do you know how to walk like Dirk?” She asked, and Jade shrugged.

“I can manage. Do you need an extra dose before we go?”

“I would like that. Jade, this is almost over, then you can go back to doing whatever you want!” Jade looked up, a sense of determination lighting her face.

“Yeah! We’ll get those hunters out of here, then we can figure out what to do about John!” Calliope offered her a high five, and as Jade’s hand slapped hers, she received a burst of energy. Immediately, Calliope became Dave, Jade became Dirk, and Karkat became…well, Karkat.

“All right!” Calliope said, now speaking through Dave’s voice. It was weird, but Karkat could get over it.

“This is going to be fantastic!” Jade said excitedly, and Karkat couldn’t disagree more. Maybe if the words were coming from Jade’s voice, it would be okay. Still, Karkat couldn’t wait until they returned to their normal appearances. Hearing a 30 year old man say something that a teenage girl would say is strange, and definitely not an enjoyable experience.

“Woo. I’m real fucking excited to face off against some hunters. Oh yes, whee- dee dee.” He said, and offered an eye roll. He just wanted to get this over with.

\------------_

“We’ll be there any minute now.” Jake said, and he, as a teacher, couldn’t help but give last minute pointers. “Take a deep breath. Calm down, focus on your targets. Be sure to-”

“And the most important thing is to be in the zone! Which means stay silent before the mission, and focus!” She said, and it immediately silenced Jake. Rose laughed a little, but she started to focus too. Soon, they were a few miles off of the road, and they saw a large black car in the distance. That was them, alright. Immediately, the four walked around the car, but no one was there. They continued walking farther into the desert, and after a few minutes, they saw them. There were three of them, and they were standing there, like they were waiting for the hunters to arrive.

“Stop running, and face us demons.” Jake said, and a harsh tone entered his voice, one that John had never heard before. John took a deep breath. It was time to find out who was doing this to him. It was finally time to find out, and get everything that he’d been kept out of the loop with. Jake growled. “Fine, if you refuse to see us, we’ll just have to see you!” He said, and aimed his gun at the tall one. Immediately, he dodged, and Jake saw his face, and he dropped his gun. “Dirk?” He asked, and he already knew that things were about to get complicated.

__________________________________

“We’re close.” Sollux said, his voice free of its usual sarcastic tone. He was sitting up and anxious, just like everyone else in the car. They were already holding their various weapons, so they went over a plan, of sorts.

“How close, minutes?”

“Yes. We’ll be there in ten.” The technologically advanced boy said, and Dave nodded.

“Alright. We’re probably going to do some fighting. Tavros, I need you out there first. Hit the kid in the blue with your stardust. He’s not bad, so don’t hurt him. The objective is to get John and stop them from coming after him. Try not to hurt the adult with the glasses, we need to talk to him. Everyone else, try to take out whoever they have with them. They’re powerful, dangerous, and don’t go down easily, so be careful. Don’t, absolutely don’t try to hurt the little nerd with the glasses that wears a blue hoodie. Unless… oh man, unless official hunter outfits are badass emo clothes. I guess- then, don’t take out the guy with black hair. The shorter one. There should be two. Unless they get their hair dyed-”

Kanaya placed a hand on his arm, and sliked kindly. He was losing their confused group of humans and non unmans, and she needed him to stay focused.

“Dave. We know not to hurt John.” She assured, and Dave sighed in relief.

“Yeah, sorry. Anyway, back to the point. There probably will be a person who looks like me, along with someone who looks like my older brother. Try not to hurt them, they’re good guys. They should be with Karkat.” Dave said, then took a breath. “Any questions?”

“Yes, Where will we put John after Tavros has incapacities him?” Dave shrugged in response.

“Leave him in the car.” He said, and they all agreed. They only had a few more minutes. “I’m coming for you, John.”

__________

Jake immediately put his gun back in its holster, and he looked on in horror.

“Dirk! Oh my gog Dirk, I’m so sorry!” He said, and immediately rushed over to ‘him’. “Gosh, what in the blazes are you doing here?” He asked, and ‘Dirk’ looked down at his other two companions in confusion. Roxy asked the question that was on their minds.

“How do you know him?” Roxy asked, and Jake ignored her for a second, quickly noticing ‘Dirk’s silence.

“Dirk? What’s wrong? It’s me!” He said, and Karkat nudged Jade. Her eyes were wide. It was her uncle. The one she was supposed to live with. Karkat couldn’t understand why she wasn’t responding, so he flicked her quietly. Jade snapped back to attention, feeling like something was wrong with the situation.

“Uh, right. Yes, Hi unc- I mean, hi Jake.” He said, and Jade felt uncomfortable. Calling adults by their first names was weird.

“Right, good. Sorry, there must be some mistake! Roxy, you know that guy I went on that date with?” He asked, now completely at ease. “My goodness, this must be one heck of a mix up! You’d never believe what we thought was going on. Why are you even out here?” Jake asked, and Roxy frowned.

“Uh, Jakey, I don’t think this is a mix up.” Roxy said, and Jake looked confused. Meanwhile, Karkat was looking at Calliope and Jade in confusion. His teacher was dating Dave’s brother? Something had to be wrong with that.

“What do you mean? You don’t think he’s the vampire, do you? That’s bloody ridiculous.” He scoffed, and Roxy spoke to him slowly.

“Jakey. He’s not the vampire, he’s his older brother.” She said, and both Jake and John looked at her in confusion. “Damn it Jakey, he was gathering intel! He found your house, your everything! He got you to trust him, now he can attack you!” She said, and, as if it were on cue, Jade flipped the man onto his back. John’s mouth hung open.

“Stay down hunter.” She said, and Jake looked up in confusion.

“Wait… Dave? You… why is your brother pinning Mr. English?” He questioned, and Karkat winced. Calliope, who didn’t know John, spoke.

“Nice job, uh, bro. It’s time for us to rootin tootin take care of you hunters.” She tried, remembering that Dave was from Texas. Karkat resisted a face palm.  ‘Dirk’(Jade), whose grip was weak on Jake, on account of her confusion with knowing him, and her hands grew even more unsure when she saw the hurt and panic on his face.

“D- Dirk? No, that can’t be it!” He said, and he immediately looked up. “No. this can’t be right! Tell Rshe’s wrong. This is just a big misunderstanding.” He said, and Jade looked conflicted. What was she supposed to do?  She didn’t know that they had this personal relationship, and it was obvious that neither party knew what was going on. Roxy groaned.

“Jake, John, deal with your betrayl issues later. You two are the sickest, vampire scum I’ve ever seen. I’ve decided.” She held her sword up. “I’m going to tear you to pieces!” She unsheathed her sword and Rose took that as her cue to start. John stood there in shock, because Dave and Karkat, of all people, were together and trying to kill him. He wanted to cry, but took a deep breath. If his teacher could deal with his betrayl issues later, so could he. So, John extended his hammer, and prepared to run into the fight.

____________________-

“I don’t see why we have to do this, it’s just stupid.” Sollux said. “I’m not even doing anything.”

“I think we’ll look cool!” Nepeta said. The six stopped traveling momentarily, and paused to get their weapons. It was Tavros’ idea that they all flip out of the car on cue, and Dave, deciding it would be ironically cool, agreed that they would.

“I hate to disagree with you, but this activity does seem a little pointless.” Dave however, shook his head.

“Nah Kanaya, it’s going to be cool. We all just put our hands on a door and jump out as soon as we stop, okay?” Dave asked, and they all reluctantly nodded. The group of people got back in the car again, and Dave drove a little further. “Three, two, one!” He shouted, and everyone opened, then closed their doors in sync. The six posed somewhat dangerously, with their swords, chainsaws and etcetera. Of course, Sollux just stood there, and Tavros looked less threatening than a dandelion, but in the end it still looked good.

“That was purretty awesome!” Nepeta said, and despite himself, Equius felt a little adrenaline.

“See, this was a great idea.” Dave said, with a smirk.. Taros shyly pumped a fist in the air.

“Uh, yeah, go team and stuff.” He said, and Kanaya laughed at the words, but they all returned to the car. Their next stop would be with John, and they were ready to save him.

____________-

While they practiced, the fight slowly got intense. Karkat was actually holding up pretty well. He jumped out of the way of a needle to save Jade, who’s fighting was off since A, she had to use a sword, and B, she was in an adult’s body. As Roxy tried to hit her with her own sword, Karkat intercepted with his sickles. Calliope had to deal with both Jake and John, who seemed hesitant to hit her. Jake quickly got over his shock at fighting his boyfriend’s brother, but John still hesitated when it came to hitting ‘Dave’. She kept up her disguise though, and surrounded herself so much in magic that it looked like her needles were Dave’s sword.

Just as things began to look dicey, however, a car pulled up. Jade’s werewolf hearing allowed her to detect a voice counting down from three. After the voice finished, six doors opened and closed in sync, and some people she’d never seen before all flipped out of the car. Unfortunately, one tripped, causing a girl to ask if he was okay.

“Oh, I’m fine!” He said, and Jade finally recognized Dave as he turned around.

“Come on guys, we practiced this!” He said, and a muscled teenager spoke up.

“To be fair, we only got it correct once, David. If we wanted more optimal results, we probably should have done this at least twice more.”

“You’re right. Oh, my book fell!” Okay, Jade recognized her as Kanaya. Dave slapped a hand to his forehead.

“Strider, what the fuck?” Karkat finally asked/ screamed, then gestured to the group of travelers that arrived afterwards. “What did you do, why are they here?” He asked, and Dave looked back at him. They were about to fight, after all.

“Okay, we’ll talk about this later.” He turned, and looked towards John, and everyone else that stopped fighting for a moment. “Okay, sorry about fucking with the plan, but they brainwashed John, and I doubt you would convince him that hunting is sick and murderous. So, I’m going to make this quick. You can let go of John now, hunters, or me and my team of elite fighters will take you down. Especially you, English.” Dave said, his words venomous. Of course, Jake was just confused, but no one made any moves to do… anything, until Roxy spoke up.

“Look, I don’t know what’s going on, or who the real vampire is, but if you want John, you’ll all have to go through me first!” Roxy shouted, and Jake spoke up.

“That’s quite right. I will say that I’m confused, but I care for the safety of my students. So, no, we have no intention to hand over John Egbert.” He said, and Dave shrugged.

“Alright, you had your chance. Let’s go guys.” Dave said, and Tavros nodded.

Sollux got back in the car but held his phone up, as if he were recording something. Tavros immediately shrank and grew wings, becoming more fairy like. Of course, he was small, so it was difficult to see him. Kanaya revved up her chainsaw, and Nepeta brandished her chosen weapon. Roxy looked surprised at it, and the few seconds of distraction were enough for the smaller Tavros to fly over John’s head, and shoot his knockout powder over him. He grew again, now without wings, and Roxy looked at the knocked out John in surprise.

“John, No! What did you do to him?” She asked, and immediately pulled her sword out. “Alright, that proves it. You’re all monsters here! I don’t care if I have to fight all of you myself, you’re going to be dead!” She shouted, and ran towards Tavros. Dave jumped in to stop her. Immediately, everyone started fighting. Jake got up and joined the fray to cover Roxy.  Rose, though confused, went for Equius, and Nepeta joined in to protect her best friend. They immediately started going at it, Rose muttering incantations while Kanaya revved up her weapon.

It was chaos. John laid on the floor as Tavros tried to drag him away, only to be stopped by Roxy. Immediately, Dave intercepted it.

“Tavros, get him the fuck out, I’ll deal with this one!” He shouted the order, and Tavros began to oblige. Karkat found himself running in to help Tavros get John to safety, all while Sollux sat in the car and watched apathetically. Calliope dropped the spell on Jade, and both appeared as themselves to save energy. Immediately, Jade went to go attack her uncle, who seemed to be attempting to kill her friends. As Rose started an incantation, Calliope jumped in and attempted to stop her from shooting Kanaya.

Ironically, Kanaya, of all people, wasn’t participating in the fight. She’d already realized they were victims of some form of miscommunication, and instead stood there with her book. Rose noticed, and despite dodging Calliope, looked at her.

“What are you doing?” She shouted over the chaos of battle, and Kanaya shrugged.

“I’m really enjoying this book. Don’t mind me.” She said, and Rose looked at her like she was insane. Then again, she was one of those supernatural people, so she probably was. Eventually Rose hit Callie, who’d been expending a lot of magical energy. In response, Calliope shot a semi- weak spell towards Rose, who dodged. Unfortuantely, it hit Kanaya’s book and sent it flying out of her hands. At that, Kanaya looked up at Rose in anger.

“What did you do? That was a limited edition copy, with the entire series together! Do you understand how rare that is?” She asked, her voice growing incredulous. Rose looked back towards Calliope, but she’d already gone back into the fray of fighting, in an attempt to cover someone else. Rose cringed, she hadn’t meant to mess with this admittedly strange vampire’s book. “I wasn’t even fighting!.” Rose frowned.

“Oh, I’m sorry! I’ll pick it up, hold on.” She said, and picked the book up off the deserted ground. As she dusted off the cover, she noticed that part of it was torn, but the author’s name was still intact. Kanaya took the book from her hastily, and flipped through the pages. She let out a small sigh of relief when she found that the book was mainly intact. Still, she wasn’t happy with the blonde girl that stood before her. The vampire huffed.

“Attacking a non-combatant, and you hunters say you’re for our protection. Hypocritical.” She said, and Rose frowned.

“I didn’t attack you. A stray blast hit you from the fight. We are not hypocritical.” Rose said, and Kanaya frowned.

“Then you should be more careful! Stay blasts hitting onlookers is just as dangerous. Really, if that spell was stronger, it could have completely destroyed this amalgam of King’s works.” She said, her voice growing a lithe haughty. However, part of her sentence caught Rose by surprise.

“You wouldn’t mean Stephen King, would you?” She asked, her curiosity incited. Kanaya looked at her in surprise.

“Are you a fan?”

“A fan hardly describes my affliction for his work, he’s exquisite. I’m so, so sorry about your book.” Rose said, feeling even guiltier, now that she knew what a treasure she had a hand in ruining. Kanaya, to her surprise, offered her a smile.

“How refreshing! I never thought I would find a King lover, especially among those in the hunting profession.”

“He’s a fantastic author. I feel horrid for ruining such a masterpiece.” Kanaya sighed.

“It’s fine, I can see that it was an accident. And really, it’s not ruined, the contents are still more than legible. If anything, I shouldn’t have brought the book out when surrounded by so much danger.” Kanaya said thoughtfully, but Rose shook her head.

“No, really, it’s my fault. I’m sure I can find a new copy.” Rose said, and the vampire blinked.

“That’s not necessary, really. It’s fine.”  

“Nonsense, I should make this up to you somehow. If you won’t accept another book, perhaps there’s something else I can do?” Her words were genuine, and Kanaya put a finger to her chin in thought.

“I’m really not certain. In all honesty, I’m more excited to find someone else that enjoys his work than anything. Not many people of our age group are really fans.” Rose thought about it for a second, and she said her next words carefully.

“Well, if you’d like to, perhaps, talk more about it, I know a fantastic little book café where we can. Only if you’re interested, of course.” She said, and Kanaya’s smile stretched across her face.

“That sounds perfect. Forgive me, but I never asked your name?”

“Oh, I’m Rose Lalonde.”

“Kanaya Maryam, it’s a pleasure to meet you, even under such violent circumstances.” She responded, and Rose offered her a laugh.

“Definitely. Which reminds me, why aren’t you fighting? You seemed quite able, from how you posed with that chainsaw.” Rose said, and Kanaya smirked at that.

“Oh, that was something Dave wanted to try, for ‘irony’s sake’. I’m not entirely sure which definition of the word that falls under, but I digress. Still, there seems to be a lot of confusion involved in this. I believe it would be more beneficial to wait until everyone figures out exactly what’s going on.” She commented, and Rose nodded.

“Hm, that actually sounds more appealing. Would you mind if I waited with you?”

“Oh, not in the slightest. Really, I think I’m enjoying myself more this way.” She said, and Rose frowned.

“Where did John go?” she asked, and Kanaya pointed her thumb towards the vehicle.

“I believe he’s sleeping in there.” She responded, and Rose sighed.

“Oh, well that’s good. Do you think we should tell them to stop fighting?” Kanaya asked, and Rose gave her a look.

“I think we can let them tire themselves out a little more.” She said, and her black lips turned up into a smile.

_____________--

Meanwhile, John finally sat up. His hearing returned first, and he heard sounds of videogame music. With a groan, he sat up, and realized he was in a car. After fighting off the disorientation from waking up in a different place than where he fell asleep, John noticed Sollux’s presence.

“Uh, hi?” He asked, and Sollux pressed pause, or something.

“Sup?” He asked, and John blinked.

“Nothing, what’s going on?” He asked, and Sollux shrugged.

“Fighting over Karkat, or you, or something. It’s not really relevant to me- Karkat’s actually not getting his ass handed to him like I thought.” He said, then looked back to his computer screen.

“Uh, right. Fighting?” He asked, and John remembered everything. “Wait, fighting? No, I have to get out there, how do I leave?” Sollux looked up for a second, then rolled his eyes.

“Door’s that way. Or that way. Congratulations, you’re in a vehicle with multiple doors, Sherlock.” He said, and John found a handle.

“Oh! Okay!” He said, completely ignoring Sollux’s attitude. Immediately, he opened the door to the car, and he almost wished he could go back in. People were fighting everywhere, and John was horrified at the outcome. Dave and Roxy were still fighting, while Jake was battling Karkat… and a wolf? “You have to stop.” John murmured, and then his voice grew more urgent. “Stop!” He shouted. No one heard him. The boy lifted himself up, and stood atop the car. He cupped his hands around his mouth then took a deep breath. “Stop!!” he tried again, and the fighting stopped immediately.

“John, what are you doing?” Roxy asked, and John shook his head.

“No, what are you doing? I want an explanation, I don’t get what’s going on!” He said, and Roxy sighed.

“John, I know this is kind of hard to believe, but Dave here is trying to turn you into a vampire! He’s the guy!” She said, and John shook his head.

“What? That’s not possible-”

“Yes it is! This is the classicist of classic cases! New monster moves in, finds some random, unsuspecting kid, pretends that they are your friend, and gets you alone and sucks your blood! He even had his guardian here get info on us! They were trying to meet you on a full moon! If we hadn’t taken you, you would have been converted!” She said, and John looked stricken.

“Wait, really?” He asked Dave, and Dave responded.

“No, not really!” Dave shouted, holding his sword up defiantly. “I wasn’t trying to turn you, we were trying to protect you from the guy that was actually feeding on you! We took care of that asshole last night, but you were busy being kidnapped and brainwashed by the time we got back! These are obviously just the lies the hunters are saying to get you to join them, and it worked! You’re with them now! I don’t know what they told you, John, but they’re hunters. They’re just using you to get to me, because they know that I would come if you were here! I’m a pureblood, they want me, and they’re using me to get to you. Now they can get their license or have their party or whatever, because they get to kill a pureblood! They’re crazy, John!”

“I am not crazy.” Rose said, and Dave looked up. He noticed Rose for the first time.

“Rose, what the hell are you doing here? You’re one of them?”

“I told you I was helping my sister with a project. However, while I knew we were hunting, I didn’t know we were hunting you!” She said defiantly, and looked at Roxy.

“I didn’t know that you knew each other! When did you even meet, you just got into town!”

“We’ve been internet friends for years.” Dave said, and Rose confirmed it.

“That’s right, Dave, Jade, John and I met up at John’s house a few days ago. We’ve known each other for years! And I didn’t know that he was a pureblood!”

“I didn’t know that Rose was a hunter, or that Jade was a werewolf! Also, Jade, you may want to transform back, I think it’s messing with my teacher’s head.” Dave said, and in a flash of green light, Jade became her normal self again.

“Jade?” Jake, Rose, and John cried in sync.

“Haha, Hi uncle Jake. Heey everyone.” She said, and John slapped his forehead. He didn’t even take the time to question it now- everyone had a lot of explaining to do. He clapped his hands, drawing their attention. “Alright everyone, I guess we have a lot to talk about. I’m going to get off this car, and maybe we can have a conversation, sans weapons?” He asked, and everyone eventually disengaged. John eventually got off of the car. Everyone seemed to disengage his or her weapons for now, and Karkat spoke up first.

“So, Strider. Mind telling me why you fucked up the plan and brought a bunch of humans with you?”He asked, and Nepeta butted in first.

“Because we’re on a quest to save John Egbert and meet you, Karkitty!” She said, and everyone looked at her. Karkat raised an eyebrow, and Dave put up a hand.

“I mean, she’s not wrong. But yeah, we thought the hunters kidnapped John-”

“Uh, technically they did.”

“But he stayed with us after that!” Jake added in defensively, and Dave shook his head.

“Right. Anyway, I wanted to go save him, but I needed Sollux to tell me where to go, then Equius brought the car and Nepeta, and I invited Kanaya along because she’s a badass, then we found Tavros along  the way.” Dave sighed. “I… didn’t really have time to think much through, okay?” He asked, and John snorted. Before he could comment, Karkat made a surprised comment.

“Wait, Sollux is here?”

“Yeah, he’s in the car not giving a shit.” Dave said, and Sollux opened the door, only to offer them two middle fingers. Karkat smirked. That had to be Sollux.

“Of course. Well, Calliope, Jade and I were actually following the plan.”

“Excuse me Karkat, but may I inquire you about the nature of this plan of yours, and why it involves taking my niece from her island? Frankly, I assumed that she was still there.” Jake asked, and Karkat spoke up.

“Sure, Mr. English. Well, we were going to be bait. We actually thought you all knew the pureblood was Dave, so we thought if we dragged you out here, then, you know, confronted each other, maybe we’d have a shot at stopping you from trying to kill him, and getting John back. Of course, Dave Strider and the gang’s road trip to shit town wasn’t in our fucking itinerary, but whatever for now.” Karkat said. “And Jade was kind of like a battery for Calliope, because transporting three people across the country and disguising them is some pretty heavy magic stuff. So, she fed off Jade’s signature.” He added, and Jake nodded, a little embarrassed.

“Gazdooks! I’m certainly sorry about all of this, what a misunderstanding! Can you ever forgive me, Jade? I almost attacked you!” He said, and Jade smiled.

“It’s okay uncle Jake! I had fun!” She announced, and everyone else agreed. The last few days had been crazy, and filled with doubt, but they still enjoyed themselves. Silence filled the off road desert, and eventually, Calliope spoke up.

“So, what now?” Calliope asked. “I assume that you no longer plan to attempt to murder us, and now that my brother’s taken care of, what should we do?” She asked, posing her question towards everyone.

“Wait, what about your brother? Who is he?” John asked, and Dave suddenly found it more appropriate to avoid John’s face. He’d told him he wouldn’t hurt Caliborn. Of course, he did it anyway, but he couldn’t help but feel a little guilty now, because he’d lied to John.

“You know Caliborn, correct?” John cringed, but nodded. “Well, he was the reason for your misery, John. As cherubs, we’re always born in twin pairs, and one of us feeds off the positive aspects of life, while the other eats the negative. He’s been using you as a fuel source for years. Even in his adolesance, I’m surprised he hasn’t tied to you completely- no wonder the odds are in his favor.” She said, then looked at John. “But, In a similar, yet far more consensual way, I’ve used Jade.” The girl paused, allowing John to take it in.

“Wait, so that’s why he bullied me all of those years? So that he could eat from me?” He asked, and Calliope confirmed it.

“Yes. He’s been absorbing your blood signature. It’s quite harmful.  He’s the one you probably should have been hunting. Regardless, we’ve taken care of him. I assure you that he won’t try to feed from you again.” She said, and John frowned.

“Wait, Karkat said that too, and I haven’t seen him since- What did you guys do?” He asked, then turned his eyes towards Dave. “Dave? You said you wouldn’t hurt him. Did- Did you hurt… ?” His question trailed off, and Dave didn’t answer him. An awkward silence started to slide in, where John immediately began to imagine Dave killing Caliborn gruesomely, before Karkat interjected.

“No Egbert, we didn’t kill him! Calm your tits. We sent him to a hospital, where he can feed. He’ll be able to get all the food he wants without having to inflict pain on anyone. Really, it’s fine.” He said, purposely leaving out the part about how they caused him to need a leg amputation. No, there was no need to bring that detail to the light of John’s knowledge, especially when Karkat’s goal was to make John trust him. John breathed out a sigh of relief.

“Oh, thank goodness. I know he’s bad, but I didn’t want him to die!” John said with a chuckle, and everyone relaxed. “Alright, great. I guess everything’s settled then, huh?” He said, and they all nodded. “So, do we just go home now, or-”

“I don’t know, I’m kind of hungry.” Dave said with a shrug, and everyone immediately agreed. None of them had lunch yet now they were well into the afternoon. They finished their hunt, and that meant that it was finally time to relax.

___________-

JAFNF Chapter 35

(Saturday, August 20 th )

If anyone asked John four months ago if he planned on sitting in the middle of the desert with a group of magical friends, John would have probably put his hood up and walked away. He did not intend to do that now. At this point, his entire newly formed friend group was full of vampires, werewolves, and whatever else a twilight fan could wish for, and John couldn’t have been happier.

That said, it would still take him some time to imagine Dave and Karkat as blood suckers, or Jade as a powerful wolf. Still, that wasn’t the biggest challenge he faced, and it certainly wouldn’t be the last. While most of them figured out arrangements for getting to the nearest restaurant, Dave pulled him aside.

“Oh, what’s up Dave?” John asked, and his friend pulled him into a hug. John was surprised at first, and he felt Dave speak with his head nestled into his back.

“John Egbert.” He said, taking a deep breath. “I’m glad you’re okay.” He said, and John wrapped his arms around his taller friend in response. “My gog, I’m so fucking glad that you’re okay. If something happened to you, I don’t even know.” He said, and John hugged his friend back, but tried to reassure him.

“It’s alright Dave, I’m fine!” He insisted, and Dave sighed.

“I know, but, I don’t know. I guess when I found out that you were missing, I just thought I was too late. So yeah, I’m really glad you’re alright.” Dave said, and John smiled a little. He’d missed Dave.

“Yeah, me too. I’m sorry for missing us hanging out. And thinking you were going to suck my blood, for a minute there.” He said, and Dave smirked, pulling away from their hug.

“It’s alright Egbert, We would have just knocked you out and put you out of harm’s way anyway.”

“And how were you going to explain that?” He asked, crossing his arms.

“I was going to put you in bed and tell you it was all a dream.” He said, and John laughed.

“Dave, I never would have fallen for that.” He said, and Dave rolled his eyes.

“Uh huh, I’m sure I could convince you. Speaking of that, is the vampire thing weird for you? I mean, I know I didn’t really tell you, and I probably should have, but I just-”

“Dave, it’s fine. I’ll get used to it. After all, you’re still the coolest douche I know.” He said, and Dave looked relieved.

“Really?” He asked, and John nodded.

“Of course, Dave. You’re not going to ‘suck my blood’, right?” He asked, doing a fake vampire accent. “Oh wait, was that offensive?” He asked, and Dave just laughed.

“Nah Egdork, it’s fine. But no, I won’t suck your blood. The whole idea was to make sure you were safe.” He said, and John rolled his eyes.

“I was fine! Plus, they gave me this hammer.” He said, picking up the tool from his belt. “It’s pretty unimpressive now, but check it out!” He said, then made it expand. “Cool, right?” Dave moved his wrist from side to side.

“Not as cool as my sword. You still haven’t seen me strife with my brother, right? Oh shit, Bro! Hold on, I have to call him.” Dave said, immediately digging out his cell phone. He turned on face time, then waited for his brother to pick up. Eventually, he did.

“I swear, if Dave got himself killed- Oh, John kid. Hello. So, I guess you didn’t die, huh Dave?” He asked, and Dave rolled his eyes behind his glasses.

“Hi, Mr. Strider.” John said, and Dave spoke too.

“I’m alive, asshole. And so is everyone else! You can stop crying about Mr. English, he didn’t know anything.” He said, and John saw the tension leave the man’s shoulders.

“Shut the fuck up Dave. So, you know I’m going to fucking destroy you when you get home, right?”

“I don’t doubt it. It was worth it. Plus, everyone is good and shit now, so I don’t really care.” He said, pointing the camera towards everyone else. Even Sollux removed himself from the car so that they could all chill out.

“I’ll be sure to keep that in mind.” Dirk said, and the phone beeped. “Sorry, I have another call coming in. Congratulations, Dave.” He said, and immediately, he hung up. Dave sighed, and John smiled.

“What?” Dave asked, noticing the grin grow on his face.

“Your brother is nice.” He said, and Dave rolled his eyes.

“He’s an asshole, you just haven’t known him long enough.” Dave insisted, and John rolled his eyes.

“Mhmm, sure Dave. You love him.” He said, and Dave scoffed, but didn’t deny it. He did care about his brother. John wanted to say more, but he received a tap on the shoulder, and to his surprise, Karkat was there.

“John, are you busy? I know I talked about this earlier, but I feel like you should get the full story on why I was such an asshat to you.” John just gestured for him to continue, and Karkat explained why he bullied Caliborn from before. John immediately forgave him, and the three boys stood there, feeling relieved. They were glad that everyone was okay. Eventually, Jake decided on a place where they could eat. Calliope’s fake, magical car shimmered out of reality, and everyone realized the cherub was probably tired from the constant drain of magic she’d indulged in over the past few days. That said, Jade decided to give her a little fuel, and they put her in Equius’s car.

Everyone else let their respective parents and guardians know they were okay, save for John. Roxy noticed, but didn’t comment. John noticed Rose and Kanaya talking earlier, and with a grin and a little laughter, he convinced Jake to let Kanaya switch car riding positions. Rose looked greatful, and the two young women, along with Jade, moved to Jake’s car. John and Karkat joined Equius’ vehicle, and thankfully, it was big enough to fit the three additions.

After a quick trip to quick trip, then a quick restaurant rest stop, all decided they would drive home. The drive back took three days, and this time, a lot less stress was involved. Tavros apologized for knocking John out, and he shrugged it off. Really, it was fine. After meeting so many new people, John decided that the entire trip had been more than worth it. The newly befriended John and Karkat talked about movies for a while, and in the end, all of them became closer friends.

____________________________________-

(Tuesday, August 23 rd )

By the time they pulled into Dave’s driveway the next Tuesday, John felt more than ready to stretch his legs. Equius already dropped off Sollux and Calliope, who ended up taking Tavros with her as well. Now, the only four left in his vehicle included himself, John, Dave and Nepeta. So, John got out of the car. To his surprise, Jake and Roxy were there, along with Dirk. John wished Dave the best of luck in dealing with whatever punishment Dirk had for him, and Dave just shrugged it off.

“It’s worth it, for you.” He said, and the words made a warm feeling spread across John’s chest. When Roxy saw him, she immediately hugged John, then ruffled his hair.

“Johnny! I’ll drive you home, okay?” She asked, gesturing to her car. John didn’t mind it, so he told Equius his plans, and thanked the boy for the use of his car, and trying to save him. After saying goodbye to Nepeta and Equius the two drove off, leaving him standing next to Dave. John realized it was time to go, and offered Dave one last goodbye. This week long affair really was fun, all things considered, especially since he ended up hanging out with his best friend in the end.

“Thanks for saving me, Dave.” John said, even though Dave didn’t really have anything to save him from, he still smiled.

“Yeah, no problem. I’ll see you later, right?” He asked, and John grinned.

“Uh, of course. I mean, we have biology together so- yeah. I’ll see you tomorrow.” John said. The words brought a smirk to Dave’s face, and he put his arms out.

“Awkward friendship hug?” He offered, and John rolled his eyes.

“It’s only awkward if you make it awkward.” Dave raised an eyebrow. He wasn’t sure if that meant yes or no, and John rolled his eyes. “Yes. Come here.” John leaned in and gave his slightly taller best friend a hug. It lasted for a little until both parties let go at the same time, and they turned to the three adults that had been watching them. Jake had a hand over his heart, while Dirk’s expression remained impassive, and John could have sworn that Roxy just took a picture. It was fine though. For the first time in a while, everything was going to be okay.

Dave walked inside his house, followed by Jake and Dirk, who both wished the two a goodbye. Roxy put John in her car and the two drove off to his house. After a little more driving, they arrived in front of John’s house again. She pulled in the driveway, then parked. After that, she got out of the car and walked John to the front door, who looked at her in confusion.

“Roxy, I don’t think my dad will be home now, so I can probably just go in.” John said, and Roxy shook her head.

“Oh, he’s here. We should ring the doorbell, Johnny boy.” She said, immediately reaching to hit the bell.

“Wait, how would you know-” John’s sentence was cut short when he found his father standing in front of an open door.

“John. You’re home from your math trip, good. And… Roxy Lalonde? I haven’t seen you in quite a while. To what do I owe the pleasure of seeing you today?”

“We need to talk. John wasn’t on a math trip, he was with me. John, you should go upstairs or something. We’ll talk down here.” John looked up at her unsurely.

“Roxy, are you sure?” He asked, and Roxy nodded.

“Johnny boy, I’ve never been more sure of anything in my life. I know you still have school tomorrow, so try working on your homework! Jake says you guys missed a week, and I know you’ll have to catch up from there.” She said, then playfully ruffled his hair, and John walked up to his room. He sighed, but realized she was right, and found his backpack. John could only wonder what she planned to do with his father.

“Ms. Lalonde, come in, please. It seems that we have something to discuss.” He said, and he frowned. Was John always that thin? He decided that it wouldn’t matter, for now.

“Gladly.” Eventually the two sat down, and Jacob started.

“Roxanne, why did you take my son?” He asked, and Roxy answered his question with a question.

“Why does it matter? Do you care about him?” She asked, and Jacob frowned. While he remembered Roxy fondly in high school, and knew that she was close friends with his wife, the widowed man didn’t like her questioning. It seemed out of line, yet Jacob was curious about the personal relationship she somehow built with his son.

“Lalonde, of course I care about my son. That is why I’m asking you where you took him. I’ve been stressed about this since John lied about the math team.” He said, and Roxy frowned.

“Jacob. How old is your son?” She asked, and Jacob blanched.

“What? How is that in any way pertinent to our conversation?”

“What’s his favorite color? What’s his favorite food? Does he have friends? How many close ones?” She asked, and crossed her arms. “Do you even know what grade he’s in? Without counting.” She said, and Jacob sighed. He realized that no, he didn’t know these things, and Roxy realized it too. “Jacob Egbert, you are destroying your son.”

“How am I destroying him? I’m always out working, just so that he can be alright! I haven’t been home in ages.” He said, and after viewing Roxy’s expression, he knew that was a poor choice of words. “No, I don’t mean-”

“Yes you do!” She said, her voice raising with anger. “When was the last time you actually spoke to him, with words? When was the last time you told him you loved him, or that you were proud of him? Do you even love him? Because to him, you’re not a dad, you’re a stranger.” She shouted, and she lowered her voice after a quick look upstairs. “You don’t deserve to call yourself his parent. Gog, if it weren’t for Dave Strider…” She said, her sentence trailing off.

“If it weren’t for Dave Strider what?” He asked, and Roxy looked at him coldly.

“It’s not your concern. If you couldn’t be bothered enough to talk to your damn child before, you can’t suddenly act worried. He was kidnapped, Jacob! We removed him from his house unwillingly, took him to an unfamiliar place, and forced him to stay for a few minutes.” Roxy took a breath. “Do you know what he said, when we offered to call you?” She asked, and Jacob felt him dreading her next words.  “He said you wouldn’t notice if he was gone. He said you haven’t talked since his birthday, and even then it wasn’t a conversation, you just left him a note! And the worst thing? He didn’t even sound sad about it. This isn’t new for him. You’ve made it normal that his parents aren’t there, and it doesn’t have to be that way!” Roxy was seething. Jacob processed her words, and looked at her in surprise.

“Wait, you kidnapped my son?”

“That’s not the point!” She cried, and Jacob’s mouth hung open. Roxy rolled her eyes. “Look, Jacob. He was in danger, so yes, we kidnapped him, because he wouldn’t be safe otherwise. We took him to keep him safe. But if someone else took him, you wouldn’t have even known! You would have just sat at work, or at home, and had yourself a party with all of these cakes.” Roxy was mad, but she noticed the excessive food on the table. “Actually, why the heck did you buy so many cakes?” She asked, and Jacob shook his head, a little embarrassed.

“Uh, I didn’t buy them, I made him. I suppose that I kind of stress bake. Either way, my baking habit is not a matter of your concern, nor is my relationship with my son.”He said firmly, and Roxy sputtered.

“I don’t care what you say, Egbert. I know more about John after spending like, a week with him than you do knowing him his entire life. He’s your child, but he’s Jane’s too, and I know my best friend wouldn’t have wanted this. Jane was busier than you, and she still made time for him.”

“Don’t talk to me about Jane, Roxanne. You have no right to throw my wife’s death in my face! Do you think it’s easy, seeing John, a boy who literally looks just like her, and not thinking about it? She died ten years ago, and I’m still grieving about it. Every time I see John, I’m reminded about her. It hurts!” He said, and Roxy responded quietly.

“Jacob, I need you to do me a favor.” She said, and he raised his eyebrows. “Get over it.” She said, and Jacob exploded.

“What did you just say to me? You were just her friend, you don’t know what it’s like! You don’t get anything about me, or Jane, so stop acting like you’re an authority on something you’re not. You don’t understand a thing!”

“I loved her too!” She shouted back. “I loved her, Jacob. Do you think her death didn’t hurt me, of all people? No, it hurt Jacob, but I got over it. I had to, and you have to too! You’re taking out all of your hurt, and sorrow and grief out on John! I know it hurts that she died. I’m not over it either! But you’re a parent, and right now your child is the one suffering from the situation. So when I say get over it, I mean get over it! Of course it hurts! But you have a son, and that means you have to deal with the things that hurt, so that he doesn’t have to.  You having John early was your choice, but I’m not going to sit here and watch you fail to care for him. Bad stuff happens! That’s part of being a parent, and every time you whine about how it hurts, you’re making it clear that you’re not ready to be one!” She said, and Jacob sat there in shocked silence.

“Jacob.” She said softly, placing an arm on his back. “I grew up with a mom that was there, but wasn’t, and she was my only parent. And as a result, I made some of the biggest mistakes of my life. John shouldn’t have to deal with the same thing. It’s not John’s fault. We already took out the one that’s to blame for this. It’s over.” She said, then pulled her hand back. “And since it’s over, it means you have to stop taking it out on him. You need to get a better relationship with your son, because right now he’s hurt and it’s your fault.”

“How?” He asked, and Roxy shook her head.

“Even if I did know how to fix it, I wouldn’t tell you. This is your mess, Jacob. You need to fix it. It will be difficult, but I’ll give you some incentive.” She said, and Jacob looked up. “If you don’t fix yourself, I will take John away from you. He deserves someone who loves him enough to do this. Prove to him that he can trust you, and that you love him, or else I’m taking him away.” Roxy said again, a dangerous tone in her voice. Jacob didn’t make eye contact after that. Eventually, Roxy stood up. “I’m going to go now. I think you’ve heard what you need to hear. Now, fix it.” Roxy walked towards the door, then cupped her hands around her mouth. Her disposition changed to one of sweet affection. “Bye Johnny!” She shouted, and John, who was starting to complete his homework, walked out of the room.

“Bye Roxy!” The woman smiled fondly, and looked back at Jacob.

“I’ll be seeing you soon, kiddo.” She said, and with that, she exited their house. John looked down onto the couch, only to see his father just sitting there. He was curious, yes, but not enough to attempt to deal with the man. He was happy right now, and he wanted to stay that way, so John returned to his room and closed the door.

___________-------

JAFNF Chapter 36

(Tuesday, August 23 rd )

After they reached the Strider’s home, Dave greeted his older brother. His sibling was upstairs for once, and he looked genuinely relieved to see him.

“Welcome home, Douchebag.” Dirk said, and Dave his a smile.

“Yeah, I’m back. We have a guest.” Dave said, gesturing to the teacher behind him. Jake walked out from behind Dave and coughed.

“Oh, right. I suppose that’s me. I mean yes, I’m here. Hello, Dirk.” Dirk smirked and waved.

“Hey English. Thanks for bringing him back alive.” Jake but a hand behind his head sheepishly.

“Well, I’m sure you could imagine my surprise when I found out about his, er, vampirisms. Still, I’m glad everything turned out alright.” Jake responded, and Dirk agreed with him.

“Uh, anyway,” Dave said, looking up at his teacher. “Did I miss anything while I was out from school? You didn’t leave any work for us to do, right?” He asked, and Jake shook his head.

“No, I told the subs to do a movie, that’s all.” He responded truthfully. “But if you would like, I can give you some extra-”

“Actually, You know what? I have other homework from other classes, so I think I’m just going to go upstairs. Bye.” He said, and he immediately rushed up the stairs. The teenager wanted nothing to do with his brother and teacher’s weird romance. No, he wanted nothing to do with that at all. Plus, he had something more important waiting for him that came in the form of blue text. As he went to his room to text John, he decided that he would keep his turntables off for now. Dave pulled out his phone, and began to type.

Turntech godhead (TG) began pestering Ecto Biologist (EB).

TG: John, you there?

EB: Hi! Some weird stuff happened

TG: You mean besides going on a magical quest with vampires and shit

EB: Yes, Besides that!

EB: Rose’s sister yelled at my dad

TG: He deserves it.

EB:… I guess. I just hope he doesn’t try to talk about it, or something.

EB: Do you think he knows I hate cake?

EB: Because he has like ten of them on the counter.

TG: Wait, you have ten cakes

EB: Fully decorated and frosted. It’s like a bakery Dave. A bakery of lies!

TG: I’m never calling your house anything other than the bakery of lies again.

EB: Haha, very funny

TG: No, seriously! We could say ‘let’s meet up at the bakery of lies’, or some shit. And we’ll both know what I’m talking about.

TG: Also, you should totally bring me a cake.

EB: I don’t know, I think the cakes are weird

EB: I couldn’t see well, but one of the ones he made to look like a birthday cake had weird writing on it.

TG: What did it say?

EB: It was like ‘I’m so stressed!” In big words with balloons

TG: Please bring me that

TG: That’s fucking hilarious

EB: Maybe for you

EB: But one second, I’ll be back

TG: I anxiously await your return, Lady Egdork

EB: Haha whatever Dave

John stood up and answered the door. To no one’s surprise, he found his father standing there with a piece of cake. The man was sweating nervously.

“Is something wrong?” John asked, and Jacob looked confused.

“No, nothing is wrong, John. I just wanted to talk.” He said, and John looked at him in surprise. His father wanted to talk to him? Why would he- Wait.

“What did Roxy say?” He asked, and his father sighed.

“Just some things that made me realize how I’ve been to you.” He said, and John frowned.

“Dad, it’s okay. You don’t have to come in and do this. I’m fine.” John responded. “I’ll tell her everything is all good, she’s just worried.” Jacob sighed.

“Son. Everything is not good. Please, I know I haven’t been fair to you, at all.” He said, taking a deep breath. “But-”

“No.” John said, and he looked up, surprised at himself. He’d wanted his father there in the past, but not now.“I mean, no, It’s okay. I’m sure Roxy said some things, but really, I’m fine. You don’t have to worry about me… dad.” John said, adding in the familial euphemism. He honestly just wanted his father to go away. John was sure that he was only standing at his door for selfish reasons, and he remembered Roxy’s voice taking on a threatening tone. Granted, John didn’t hear all of what she said, but from her tone and his father’s reaction, it was pretty clear that she threatened him. This was obviously just some way for his father to feel better about himself, and John hand no intention of getting his hopes up this late in the game. So, he assured his father that it was alright, because John could and would be fine.

“John, I’m not doing this just because of her.”

“Did she threaten you?” He asked, and John’s father couldn’t say no. “Right, I’ll let her know that it’s okay, and that we worked it out. You don’t have to worry about it.” He said, and John’s father looked at him.

“John, that’s not why I’m here.” He said, setting the food down. “I mean, she made me think. She was right.” John was frustrated now.

“Right. Well, I have a lot of homework to finish. I’ve been out of school for a few days, so-” Just then, his phone vibrated loudly and the light was red. He just received a pester chum from Dave. “So, I should really go.” He said, and Jacob looked down.

“Oh. Are you sure, John?” He asked, and John’s phone beeped then blinked again. And again, and again. “Who is that?” His father asked, and to Jacob’s surprise, a fond smile appeared on John’s face.

“That’s Dave.” He said, and moved towards the device. He wanted to check it, but he turned back towards his father. “Uh, anyway, I have a lot of homework, so-”

“Of course. I have some time off work, so we can talk later.” The man said, and John muttered something unintelligible, then closed the door to leave.  As Jacob saw the door closed behind him, he sighed. That had gone horribly. The man walked down to the kitchen. He needed to bake some more after that stressful encounter.

Dave was still texting John. He hoped that wasn’t weird.

TG: Egdoork

TG: Egbert

TG: Egpork

TG: Egsport

TG: Retuuurn

TG: I think I can hear them downstairs

TG: SAVE ME.

EB: From what?

EB: Hear who?

TG: My brother and Mr. English

TG: Oh gog I can hear the fucking couch springs.

EB: Ew, dave

EB: That’s nasty!

EB: Dave why would you give me that image

TG: Ask them, not me! I’m home right now.

TG: Anyway, what happened?

EB: Oh, my father knocked on my door

EB: Apparently, Roxy threatened him, so he felt like he had to talk to me.

TG: Really? Are you sure that’s what he was there for? Why did Roxy threaten him?

EB: I’m pretty sure, Dave. He hasn’t cared for years, I think this is just guilt talking

EB: Or just because he got threatened

EB: I feel weird being with him in the house

EB: I usually don’t leave my room when he’s here, but I feel like I’m suffocating.

EB: Is that weird?

TG: I’ll be at the bakery of lies in 15 minutes.

TG: See, it sounds cool.

Turntech godhead (TG) ceased pestering Ecto Biologist (EB).

Dave sighed. He knew he was about to regret his decisions, but he opened the door to his room and ran down the stairs.

He caught a glimpse of his brother on the couch, and immediately looked away.

“Hi I’m borrowing the car bye!” He shouted, then ran to the garage. The keys were on the seat, and Dave jumped inside. He left, and parked in John Egbert’s driveway. When he rang the doorbell, John’s father answered. Dave had never seen him before, but he looked like his biology teacher’s twin brother, minus the glasses.

“Oh, hello.” He said, looking at the boy standing in front of him. He didn’t look like he was trying to sell popcorn, so he greeted him unsurely.

“Oh, hi.” He said, then put his hand behind his head awkwardly. This was the guy that he was trying to get John away from, at least for now. “I’m, uh, here to see John.” He said, and the man’s eyebrows raised.

“Alright. I am his father. It’s a pleasure to meet you-”

“Dave Strider.” He added, and a smile hit the man’s face.

“John talked about you! Come in, I’ll get him from upstairs.” He said, and Dave complied. He followed the man inside, and it was weird how nice he was. Still, he knew that the man wasn’t there for John when he needed him, but he’d still try to be supportive, and polite. “Would you like some cake?” He asked, and Dave shrugged. Actually, he kind of did want some cake.

“Oh, that would be great, thanks.” He said, and the man offered him a seat, which he quickly took. He hastily began slicing a gigantic piece of cake, then offering Dave the piece on a plate.

“You gave John a stuffed animal a few years ago, correct? He seemed to appreciate it.” Dave frowned, then remembered.

“Oh, the bunny from con air. Yeah, I hope he liked it.” Dave said, and John’s father looked at him in confusion.

“What’s con air?” He asked, and Dave paused. There was no way that you could know John Egbert personally and not know of Con Air.

“It’s a Nicholas Cage movie he likes. I found the actual prop from the set.”

“I believe that he sleeps with it. I saw it on his bed today.” Jacob recalled, and Dave couldn’t help the smirk that settled on his face.

“Really? Well, I’m not surprised. Nic Cage touched that thing.”

“He must really enjoy Nic Cage.” John’s father commented, and Dave tried not to let his surprise show. Maybe he was impartial, because he was John’s best friend, but it was like John and his dad were strangers. His gaze darkened when he remembered John’s arms. They were strangers.

“He does. John gave me these for my thirteenth birthday.” He said, and gestured to his shades.

“Oh, that’s kind of him. You still wear them?”

“I never take them off.” He said, and it was true. Jacob took a long look about the boy that sat next to him. He suddenly took in every detail about the boy’s appearance. Apparently, he was a lot more relevant to John’s life than Jacob originally believed.

“You’re John’s friend, right?” He asked, and Dave responded affirmatively.

“He’s my best friend in the world.” He said, and Jacob was taken aback by how completely genuine his words were. Jacob viewed the boy in front of him in a new light. He clearly knew a lot about his son, and Jacob was appreciative of the fact that he was there for his son.

“That’s fantastic.” He said, and he meant it. “I’m sure you’ve heard some things about me from John, and they’re all true.” He admitted, and Dave looked alarmed. When did this conversation go there? He’d been trying not to show how incredibly biased he was against this man. Still, he nodded along, trying not to hit the line between truthful and offensive. “I know I haven’t been there for him, and I’ve been selfish. So thank you for being there, even when I wasn’t. I know it probably looks bad now, and it is, but I’m not a monster. I am trying to make it better.” He said truthfully, and Dave believed him.

“Right, Mr. Egbert. I’ll always be there for him.” He said, and Jacob smiled.

“Good.” He responded, and Dave pushed another piece of cake in his mouth.

“This is really good. John said you made this?” He said, his voice turning the statement into a question. Jacob laughed a little.

“Yes, I did. I picked up baking after John’s mother passed.” He responded. “Now, I think I do it as more of a stress relief, but I have no one to eat them.” Dave looked at him dubiously.

“There’s like ten cakes on this counter. You made them all?” He asked, and Jacob nodded.

“I did. I guess I like to keep myself busy.” He said, and Dave nodded. Okay, so baking wasn’t the worst method of dealing with stress he’d heard of. “Anyway, I don’t think John knows you’re here. I’ll get him.” Almost right after he said that, they noticed John leave his room, his hoodie on. He walked down the stairs, and grinned when he saw the vampire.

“Dave!” He said, looking at him, and the albino looked up from his cake.

“Oh, sup Egdo-” Dave coughed. “I mean, hello John.” He amended, and that was when John saw everything around Dave, including his father. He saw the unfinished slice of cake in front of Dave, along with his father sitting there.

“Oh, did I interrupt something?” John asked, and Jacob responded.

“No, I was just meeting your friend.” John looked between the two uncomfortably.

“Uh, Right. Dave, I think we’re heading out?” John turned the end of the statement into a question, and Dave confirmed it.

“Have fun John, be back before ten. It’s a school night.” The father said, and John nodded a little awkwardly. He wasn’t used to having rules like that imposed on him. John certainly didn’t feel compelled to follow them, but he knew he’d be back from Dave’s by ten anyway.

“Oh, okay. I will.” He said, and Dave stood. Immediately, Jacob swooped in, removed the cake from his plate, and placed it in the washing machine.

“Oh, thank you sir.” Dave said, and John felt a quick burst of something in his brain. Man, Dave just called his Dad sir. That was weird.

“Alright, let’s go. Now.” He said, immediately leading Dave towards the door. He already had his shoes, so they exited and found themselves safely in Dave’s car. Immediately, John let out an exhale.

“You okay, Egbert?” He asked, and John shrugged.

“I don’t know, that was just weird. How did talking to my dad go?” He asked, and Dave shrugged.

“It was fine, Egdork. He apologized for… stuff, and he’s really good at baking.” Dave said, and John scowled distastefully.

“Sure. The one thing he does is what I hate- make Betty Crocker cakes. Great.  Anyway, where are we going?” John asked, and Dave shrugged.

“I don’t know, where do you want to go? We can do anything you want.”

“I just need to take a break.” He said, and Dave started the vehicle.

“Alright, I know where to go.” He said, and eventually, the two ended up at Maple Valley’s Take- A- Break Park. John saw the sign, and Dave grinned.

“Get it?” He asked, and John looked between the sign and Dave. Then, he understood immediately.

“Dave.”

“You know irony is my thing, Egbert.”

“Yeah, but I didn’t think you would take it this far, or this literally. Wow.” John said, and he laughed a little. Of course he Dave would take him here when he said he needed a break. What else would he do? His best friend was the greatest, and John knew it.

“Come on John, you know you’re impressed.” Dave said slyly, and John sighed in defeat.

“Yeah, well done.” He said, and Dave fist pumped.

“Alright! Now, do you actually want to go here? I made the joke, so I’m okay now.” He said, and John nodded.

“Actually, yeah. Let’s go.” He said, and they parked, then left. The two checked out the nature and stuff for a while, but ended up atop an empty kid’s swingset atop a medium sized hill. It was a school night, so almost no one was there, besides a random jogger. John had the brilliant idea of entering a swingset that was clearly too small for them, and while he could sit, he couldn’t propel himself forward. “Dave, push me!” He said enthusiastically, and the aforementioned albino shrugged. He stood behind him, and pushed John on the swing set. Eventually, John got up pretty high. He was laughing a little. Neither of them had done this since their early childhood.

“I’m going next, Egdork!” Dave shouted, pushing John higher.

“Sure, as long as-” John’s sentence was cut off when he fell off the swings. Dave saw what was happening and moved to attempt to catch him, all while John was preparing to impact the ground with a roll. The result was John landing atop Dave, and the two ended up rolling down the short hill. Both Dave and John were screaming, and they couldn’t stop themselves from rolling. When they reached the bottom, John sat there, looking down at Dave. “Sorry Dave! Are you okay?” He asked, and John noticed Dave’s sunglasses had come off during the roll. Dave looked up at his friend. John’s hair was messy as usual, but now it had a leaf or two in it. Dave picked one out of his head, and responded while exhaling.

“Never been better, Egbert.” And the statement was true. “Oh, what about you?” He asked. John made no move to get off Dave.

“I’m, uh, good.” He said. He couldn’t stop himself from making eye contact, and the boy shook his head. For a while, the two just stared at each other. The grass looked like a background on Dave’s face, and the same could be said for John with the sky. The two literally just made eye contact for a few minutes, and John found his head drifting down, towards Dave’s face. It was as if he were in a trance. As the space between them moved from inches to mere centimeters, John seemed to snap out of it. He spoke, immediately breaking their silence. “You know, that didn’t feel as good as they made it look in the movies.” John said, and Dave burst into laughter.

“You thought rolling down a hill would be comfortable?” He asked, and John rolled his eyes.

“Whatever, Dave. Get up.” He said, and Dave raised an eyebrow.

“You know, I would love to Egbert, but you’re kind of on top of me, not the other way around.” He said, and John sprang up, embarrassed.

“Oh! Right, sorry.” Dave laughed.

“Hey, any position you like, Babe.” He said jokingly, and John hit him on the shoulder.

“Dave, come on. I was trying to apologize!” Dave smirked, and notice John get a little flustered. For some reason, funny wasn’t the first thing that came to his mind when he noticed, but it certainly wasn’t anything bad. No, it was more like… kind of cute actually. Dave’s eyes widened as he realized what he’d thought, and he tried to make it so that his face didn’t flush. He could worry about that later, now he needed to reassure John.

“Really, it’s okay.”He said convincingly, and John put a hand behind his head.

“Still, sorry.” He said, and helped Dave stand. He did, and they stood. “Well, It’s getting late. I think I took enough of a break for now.” John said, and Dave smirked.

“I’m still not over that pun. But alright, let’s go back to your house.” Dave said, and the two found Dave’s sunglasses, then entered the car. Their ride back wasn’t necessarily a long one, but it was silent. Both had millions of thoughts racing through their separate heads. Eventually, Dave walked John to his front porch, and Dave’s father opened the door. It was before ten, but after eight at night.

“Oh, welcome home John. Thank you for returning him, Dave.” Jacob said, and Dave laughed a little awkwardly.

“No problem, Mr. Egbert.” He said, and immediately, the remainder of the cake he’d tried earlier was shoved into his hands.

“Please take this as a token of my gratitude.” Jacob said, and Dave started to refuse, but he added more. “Please, we have too many. You’re doing me a huge favor. Please, please take it away.” He said, and at that John nodded in agreement. Dave accepted the item a little awkwardly, but he thanked them for it, then turned to John.

“See you tomorrow, John.” Dave said, and offered him a fist. John bumped it hesitantly, then grinned.

“Bye Dave, thanks for tonight.” He said, and Dave started returning to the car. He waved at them, wishing John and Jacob a good night, then drove away. As Jacob closed the door, he stopped John before he could sprint to his room.

“So, what happened tonight?” Jacob asked, noticing his son’s clearly mixed emotions.

“Oh, we just went to the park. Goodnight.” John said, and dashed up the stairs. His phone buzzed in his pocket, and John already knew who it was. Even after all they’d been through, and all they’d done over the past few weeks, John looked at the red text and smiled. He planned to have a good night, and many more. As he landed on his bed and placed his thumb on the response button, John already knew. He’d have a good night indeed.

**AN: END OF PART 1.**

Cute, huh? Huhh?? I feel like this is where JAFNF would end with Saltymastermemester’s version if she completed it, or somewhere around this length. So that’s the end of part 1- everything after this is just me freestyling! So there’s a part 2 (and I’d probably divide it into 2 and three, because it’s so LONG), and it starts around 6 months after this, so relationships had some time to grow. The main villain plot I dreamed up will come into fruition later, but you guys could stop here if you’re not into the non-romantic plot. Of course they still have romantic development, but it’s fairly plot driven. Although, the part 2 would probably just be romantic plot? I don’t know, I haven’t edited that! But there’s the end, I hoped you liked my continuation of Saltymaster memester’s story!!  Thanks for reading this far! It means a lot. Seriously, seeing new readers makes my dopamine increase. Anyway, R&R, Or R&C on AO3.

~ST OUT!


	17. Beginning of part 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 37- 38, I think. Good luck.

JAFNF Chapter 37

(Friday, August 24 th )

John left his room again, and for the second time that week, his father was there. They’d spent months living lives of relative peace in the time since their hunting mission. Roxy had been appearing around John’s house more and more often. She and John’s father seemed to despise each other silently for the first segment of time since she’d come, but lately, he found that their relative peace didn’t seem quite so forced when he was in the room, and they never sent looks of distaste at each other when they weren’t.

School had been normal, for the most part. Not having Caliborn in his day made John’s life a lot easier, and when asked about the boy’s status, Jake informed him that he’d moved to homeschooling. The thought rekieved John, and now that he and Karkat were friends, things seemed to be going much, much better for him.

For the most part, he’d stopped cutting. Really, he’d only done it once since the trip, and midway through it, he realized that it wouldn’t fix his problems and felt guilty enough to stop. It wasn’t perfect, and there were definitely some elements of depression in his life again, but it was better with Dave, and his friends there. Rose visited Washington over the breaks, and all three of the remaining members of their friend group had been joking about her association with Kanaya. Karkat, surprisingly, dedicated large sums of time into setting the two up, and it seemed like the results would be good, sooner or later. Of course, this kind of thing didn’t just happen in a week. At least, not for those two, and John pretended not to notice the various bets Dave and Jade had been placing on when they’d get together.

In reguards to his father, their relationship still hadn’t improved. John saw that he was trying, but he still never felt like he could trust the man. It had become kind of a moot point with Dave, who’d been quietly encouraging John to try and amend his relations with the man. Of course, it usually only served to upset John, especially after John decided to ignore him for a day after he’d suggested that the two go fishing. John knew that his father actually liked Dave, and the same could almost be said in reverse, if not for John’s torn relationship with the man.

At one point, Bro had taken notice of John’s hammer, and after balking about the design for hours on end- “The surface area on this thing is huge! You’d have to be a body builder to actually do damage with something like this. It’s way too light!” He’d decided to design a newer, different one for John. When he’d received it, it had a silver “Z” on it for design, while the rest featured his favorite color, blue. The hammer itself was much heavier, and Dirk had figured out how to bend physics enough to make it shrink and expand on command, but keep the density the same.  He’d named it his Warhammer of Zillyhoo, and despite its stupid name, it scarcely left his side.

Lately, Dave had been walking to school with John too. Instead of dropping him off at school every morning, Dave requested that his brother place him at John’s home some days instead. It didn’t happen every day, but when it did, both boys were happy to see each other. John never questioned it. He was always glad to see his best friend, even amid his father feeding the boy breakfast to clearly look more favorable in the blonde’s eyes. John was convinced that this was a part of his father’s plot to make John like him too, but John didn’t care. His friends were right. He didn’t trust his father, he didn’t like his father, and even after months, he definitely wasn’t ready to make amends.

Once again, John left his room, only to find Dave speaking with his father again. He turned and saw John.

“Oh, Hey John.” Dave said, and John waved back hesitantly. He had hoped he wouldn’t get used to the sight of his best friend and his father conversing regularly, but in the months since the two met each other, he seemed to walk in on it more and more often.

“Hi Dave…father.” He said, and the man acknowledged him.

“John, good morning. I have breakfast for you. Did you have dinner last night?” He asked, and John shrugged unsurely. Honestly, he didn’t feel like eating. It wasn’t as if he was starving himself, but he just hadn’t been hungry.

“I’m fine. We can go Dave, sorry for holding you up.” He said, directing his sentence to his friend. Dave looked at a kitchen clock. They had plenty of time.

“I don’t mind waiting, John.” He said truthfully, and John glared at him. Had he not received the message that he wanted to go? John’s father took that as an opportunity to prepare a plate for John, and suddenly muffins appeared in front of both Dave and the seat next to him. Dave blinked. When had the man done that? 

“Excellent! Do you prefer orange juice, or-”

“Apple Juice.” Dave and John said, speaking at the same time. The two boys shared a smile, and John’s father blinked in surprise.

“Alright then. I’ll get that.” He said, and he walked towards the refrigerator. After they were situated, Dave thanked John’s father for the food, and John did so too, but a little more unwillingly. Still, the two started eating, and Dave enjoyed it immensely. “So, John. Dave told me that you may have a few scratches on your arm. Are you alright?” He asked, and John frowned.

“Why did Dave tell you that?” He asked, and the man shrugged.

“It just came up.” John frowned. He didn’t like that, at all. His eyes fell on his best friend, who dutifully avoided his face. John looked at his father again, and responded.

“Well, I’m fine.” John’s father frowned now, in concern. His hand lowered towards his arm, and he spoke.

“Are you sure, John? I can take a look at them, if you’d-”

“No!” John said, suddenly pulling his hand away. John’s father was surprised at the reaction, and John didn’t care. He looked at the man seriously. “I can take care of a few scratches on my arm. You didn’t have to care about me when I got them, and you don’t have to care about me now.” John said, and turned before he could see his father’s reaction. He didn’t care. The boy quickly walked away from the man, and was prepared to leave. John didn’t even look at the man, or Dave, as he walked towards the door. “I’m going to school.” He said, immediately picking up his backpack and going towards the door. Dave looked between the plate of food he wanted to put away and his retreating friend. John’s dad appeared behind him.

“You go to him, I’ll do this. I- ” He looked like he wanted to say something, but changed his mind. “Nevermind. Have a good day at school.”

“Thanks, Mr. Egbert.” He said, and John’s dad nodded at him as he walked after John. The second they closed the door, John glared.

“You told him?” John asked, and Dave sighed.

“John-” John interrupted.

“Dave, Whose side are you even on?” The boy was taken aback.

“I’m not on a side, I just want you to be okay.” Dave said, and John looked at him.

“You know he’s horrible, and you’re hinting to him on what I did?” Dave frowned.

“Your dad’s not horrible John, I think he’s really trying.”

“He doesn’t even know my grade! You think you can tell him about me? Just tell the world, Dave!” John shouted angrily.

“I didn’t even tell him, John.”

“What if he made me show him? What would I have done? Was that on purpose?” He asked, and Dave sighed.

“John, he can help.” He said, and John looked back at his friend, feeling angry.

“He doesn’t even know me.” Dave frowned.

“Then let him get to know you! John, he’s really trying, and you were harsh this morning. Just give him a chance, he can help!” Dave said, and John turned away from him.

“I can’t believe I actually trusted you with this, only so that you could throw it back in my face!”

“Are you saying you think you can’t trust me?” Dave asked, putting a hand on the boy’s shoulder. Hurt was clear on his features. By now, they were in front of the school. “John?” He asked, and the aforementioned raven-haired boy shook him off.

“Just- I have to go, Dave.” He said, and he ran into the building. Dave shouted after him.

“John!” He shouted, and received nothing in response but looks of pity from the surrounding students. The vampire proceeded into the building then walked to his first period. He wanted to scream and punch a locker, but he couldn’t. That was one of the beauties of the strider mask. No one could tell what was wrong with him. In fifth period, Dave did not appear in the library, and in seventh period, the two didn’t utter a word to each other. Eventually, Karkat noticed the two’s lack of discussion, and when they went into busy work, Karkat texted John.

CarcinoGeneticist (CG) Began pestering Ecto Biologist (EB).

CG: JOHN

CG: FEELINGS JAM  AND MOVIE TONIGHT?

CG: YOU LOOK STRESSED AS FUCK OVER THERE

EB: oh. Hi karkat

EB: Uh, a movie sounds great

EB: Thanks, that would be nice

CG: MY HOUSE, AFTER SCHOOL? WE CAN WORK ON THIS FUCKING BIO SHIT TOO.

EB: That sounds good, thanks.

EB: Alright, I’ll see you after this period

CG: OKAY, I’LL BE DRIVING.

Carcino Geneticist (CG) Ceased pestering Ecto Biologist (EB).

John offered him a little thumbs up, and Karkat smiled a little, looked towards Dave, and got back to work. Eventually, the class period ended. It was clear that Dave wasn’t walking John home today, a fact that put a frown on the boy’s face, but John was still upset with Dave. He followed Karkat to his car, backpack in hand, and Dave stood in Jake’s room.

“Uh, Dave.” Jake said, looking at the boy awkwardly. He looked back at him through his shades, and ran a hand through his hair.

“Yes, Mr. English?” The teacher seemed to shrink a little.

“Well, I noticed you were upset today, are you alright?” He asked, and Dave looked back in surprise.

“You noticed?” He asked, and the teacher nodded nervously.

“Well, I noticed you and John weren’t talking. Are you two alright?” He asked, and Dave sighed. Honestly, opening up to his teacher didn’t sound like a great plan, but he knew his brother wouldn’t be here for a while, and to be honest, he was upset.

“No.” He said finally, and he looked at the teacher through his shades. “But, I’ll be fine. Besides, I probably shouldn’t be talking about-”

“It’s his arms, right?” He asked, and Dave looked up at the man. “I found out about it on our trip. You told someone about them?” He questioned, and Dave nodded slowly.

“I did. I, uh, hinted about it to his Dad. I know what he’s said about him, but I honestly think his father is trying to make things better.” Dave paused. “I just want to help him. I know that’s why he’s been so…” His sentence trailed off, and Jake looked at him knowingly.

“Dave, I know he may not be happy about it now, but thank you for doing this. You’re being extremely brave for him. ” He said, and Dave looked at the teacher.

“But what if he hates me?” He asked, and Dave put his head in his hands.

“Dave.” Jake said, trying to pour kindness into his words. “He’ll realize that you’re trying to help him eventually. I know it can be scary with situations like this, but John needs you.” The man took a breath, and let it out as a wistful sigh. “He may push you away now, but you have to be there for him. He needs your help. I promise, he’ll thank you for it later.” Jake said, and Dave sighed.

“I know, but.. It’s terrifying. If I help him, I could lose him, and if I don’t, he’ll just be depressed forever, or something! What kind of decision is that?” He asked, and Jake sighed.

“Dave, if you help him, he may be upset with you, but he’ll be okay. And, if you honestly think its best that you interfere, then I say you should.” He said, and Dave looked up at him. “I know it’s not an easy idea to deal with- It’s terrifying to see your friends so upset, and know how to help, but they don’t want it. But by giving him the ability to get help, by making those first steps for him, you’ve opened the door to considering repairing his relationships, and that is a very good thing. Believe me, I know.” He said, and Dave looked at him again.

“How do you know?” He asked, and Jake shook his head.

“Oh, high school hasn’t changed as much as you kids would like to believe. Problems changed, but situations and feelings really didn’t. In the end, people still need help. Still Dave, remember that the key word is- well, help.”

“What do you mean?”

“You should know that it’s not your responsibility. At the end of the day, John has to want to be okay, and relationship councilors and therapists can only help him after he decides that he wants things to be better with his father. It’s not your job to make him want to fix it. After he wants to, continue to be supportive, but you can’t force him to want to forgive his father. Do you… sort of get where I’m coming from?” He asked, and Dave sighed.

“I think so, yeah. Thanks, Mr. English.” He said, and Jake nodded.

“Of course Dave, you know I’m here to help. If you ever need to talk about it, or anything, I’ll be here for you.” The man responded, and Dave nodded. He felt his pocket vibrate, and he found that it was his brother.

“I know. Well, that’s my ride.” He said, and he immediately started walking towards the exit.

“Have a good day, Dave!” The professor called, and Dave offered him a thumbs up.

“You too.” He responded, and the Strider left.

John stood in Karkat’s home.  He noticed the vampire’s older sibling, and while Karkat tried to sneak past him, his actions were ultimately ineffective with John present.

“Welcome home, Karkat.” His sibling said, spreading something on a bagel. “Oh, I see you’ve brought a friend.”

“Hi, I’m John Egbert.” He said, and the older sibling smiled.

“I’m Kankri Vantas, Karkat’s older brother. It is a pleasure to meet you. What brings you to us today? Please tag your triggers.” He said, and John looked up in confusion, while Karkat slapped his forehead in frustration.

“Uh, sorry, but what is tagging my triggers?” He asked, and Karkat turned around.

“No, fuck this. I’m not sitting through this speech every time someone comes over. No fucking way. You two can talk about triggers all you fucking want, I’ll be in my room getting the movie started, Egbert.” The boy started to walk away, but Kankrii stopped him.

“Karkat, how abhorusly triggering! First, you didn’t tag your swearing trigger, and you swore at a guest! Do you know how triggering that can be, for a high school student? You may not know this, but 86% of students around your age’s stress levels go up dangerously high at this point in time, and your shameless triggering is certainly not assisting them! You should be ashamed, Karkat.”

“Here’s a trigger warning for you Kankri! Can you tag being a college student, so that makes you think you can look down on me even if you shouldn’t? Just because you memorize vocabulary books in your spare time, that doesn’t mean you’re smarter than me! It also doesn’t mean that I have to listen to a fucking word about your stupid triggers, because obviously, the only thing that’s triggering here is you!” Karkat responded, which only caused Kankri to talk back.

John looked back and forth between the two, his eyes widening. So this was what siblings were like. The Vantas brothers traded off what surely would have been paragraphs of words, had some person decided to write their conversation out. Even so, John stood there for an exceedingly long period of time, until Karkat grabbed his hand and started to walk away, still shouting obscenities and flicking middle fingers at his sibling. After they returned to Karkat’s room, he sat on his bed and sighed.

“I’m so sorry you had to see that.” Karkat said, a comment to which John only shrugged.

“It’s fine, I don’t mind. So, what are we watching?”

“An action movie with romance. I heard you liked action, I like rom coms, I figured this would be a good meeting in the middle.” He said, and John nodded.

“Alright, sounds fun.” John responded, and Karkat proceeded to turn it on. As  _ Spy _ began to play, John leaned backwards. He was in a chair beside Karkat’s bed, when the boy shot up.

“Oh wait, did you want popcorn?” He asked, and John shrugged.

“I’m good either way, Karkat.” He said honestly. The boy paused the movie, stood up, and went to the kitchen. Thankfully for Karkat, his older brother was gone. He grabbed a few kernels, then proceeded to walk to a strange machine.

“It’s a popcorn popper.” Karkat said, and John nodded in understanding. After the two stood there for a few minutes, the stuff was done, and they returned to Karkat’s room. They continued the movie, then commented as it went on. John found both himself and Karkat laughing at the comedy scenes. Karkat protested loudly when he thought she was going to get with the jerk, and John winced during a particularly painful looking death scene. Eventually, the movie ended. 

“I liked the part when she did that thing with the candle. That was pretty funny.” John said, and Karkat agreed.

“That was a pretty good diversion, but that other guy was so much better for her!” He responded, and John agreed.

“Yeah, but at least it was a surprise. I thought she’d be with that first guy, to be honest.” He responded, and Karkat shook his head.

“Nah, I saw that coming.” John raised an eyebrow.

“Your screams of anger seemed pretty convincing to me.” John said with a little laugh.

“Oh, whatever Egbert, at least I didn’t get upset when that one guy died.”

“He would have been a great foil for her! Then he just died after we met him for like, four seconds!” Karkat smirked and rolled his eyes.

“Uh huh Egbert, whatever you say.” He responded, then stood. “Well, are we doing another, or moving on to homework?” He asked, and John shrugged.

“I should probably get my homework done. I’m supposed to see Roxy and Rose this weekend.” He said, and Karkat agreed.

“Yeah, Callie and Jade are supposed to be introducing me to Tavros, or something. So, homework now.” He said, and closed his laptop. Immediately, John picked up his backpack, opening it to a biology folder. Karkat watched him flip through pages, and shook his head. “How do you find anything in there?” He asked, and John shrugged.

“I can find stuff. I don’t know why everyone says I’m disorganized. My bio homework is right here!” He insisted, pulling out a sheet of paper. Karkat shook his head.

“John, really? There’s papers sticking out everywhere- is that history?” He asked, and John shrugged.

“So what? It’s fine.” He insisted, and Karkat just sighed.

“Alright Egbert, whatever you say. So, do you just want to do the odds and I’ll do the even ones?” He asked, and John shrugged.

“I’m okay with that, let’s get to work.” He said, and the two began filling out sheets. They answered question after question , and upon the sheet’s completion, Karkat spoke up.

“So, John. I noticed you were pretty upset in class.”He said carefully, and John shrugged.

“Yeah, thanks for this movie thing, it helped.” He said, and Karkat looked at him curiously.

“What happened?” He asked, and John looked down.

“I guess I had a fight with Dave.” He said, and Karkat put his pencil down. Oh. “I guess, I didn’t want him to say something, but he did it anyway. And, he said it to my dad, of all people.” Karkat cleared his throat. After picking on him for a few years, he’d known that John’s relationship with his father was complicated, but no one had ever shared the details. Karkat didn’t ask either- he didn’t want to encroach too much on John’s privacy. Instead, he focused on the real issue, involving Dave.

“Was he trying to help?” He asked, and John sighed.

“I think so. It’s just, he knows how it is with my Dad. I just didn’t want him to share this with him. My Dad’s never really been there, since mom died. I don’t get why he thought he was the best person to tell, even if it was in my best interest. He didn’t even tell me he would do this.” John said honestly, and Karkat sighed.

“Well, maybe he doesn’t have the full story on your Dad. You should talk to him, maybe you’ll figure out why he told him. I think he’s trying to help, with whatever it is, but he may not have known he was crossing a line, or that you just didn’t want your dad to know.” Karkat said, and John looked up at him.

“Really?” He asked, and Karkat confirmed it.

“Of course, you know Strider wouldn’t really want to hurt you, John. He did run headfirst into danger so you wouldn’t be hurt. Even if it was all just a misunderstanding, it’s pretty clear that he cares.” John nodded. He thought over his words, and grew grateful for them.

“Thanks Karkat, you’re pretty good at giving advice.” Karkat blew off the praise.

“Please, when you watch as many romantic comedies as me, you get pretty good at giving advice. Taking it though? That’s the hard part.” He said modestly, and John raised an eyebrow.

“You need to take your own advice about something?” He asked, and Karkat rolled his eyes.

“Let’s just finish this worksheet, John.” He responded, his voice a little irritable, and John laughed, but got back to work.

JAFNF Chapter 38

(Saturday, January 27 th )

It was Saturday, and John woke up to find his father on the couch. Roxy was there again, and the two were talking.

“Good morning, John.” His father said, and John frowned. Still, he remembered Dave’s words yesterday. Perhaps, he could at least be civil.

“Good morning Dad, and Roxy, hello.” He said, and Roxy stood up.

“Morning Johnny, I came to pick you up. Get ready, and bring your new hammer.” She said, and John nodded, then went back to his room to prepare himself to go out. John’s father stood up, beginning to prepare breakfast.

“Where are you taking him?” Jacob asked, and Roxy looked up.

“He’s going to my house for training. It’s a thing we do, if he wants.” Jacob frowned.

“What type of training?” He asked, and Roxy’s black lips curled into a frown.

“We don’t get into the specifics unless it’s necessary, sorry. But honestly, we’ve been at this for months- you should have noticed.” She said critically, and Jacob looked down. She saw it, and her voice turned a little kinder. “So, how’s it going with John?” She asked, and Jacob sighed.

“It’s… a work in progress. It will take some time.” He said, then put a spatula down.  “Roxy, does he hurt himself?” He asked, and Roxy looked surprised.

“Why do you ask?” The man sighed.

“You know of Dave Strider, right? I think he hinted about it. John probably didn’t want him to tell me, but…” He trailed off, and Roxy sighed.

“I don’t know, Jacob. If Dave told you that, it must be pretty serious.” She said, and Jacob sighed.

“I guess I’ll wait until he says something. Oh, Roxy? What are Dave and John..like?” He asked, and Roxy smiled fondly.

“Those two are the closest people I’ve ever met. They’ve been internet friends for years, along with my little sister. They care about each other, a lot.” She said, and Jacob nodded.

“Do you think they’re, uh, dating?” He asked, and a smile grew on Roxy’s face. “I mean, I know they said they were best friends, but they’re just so close. And they fight like…” His words trailed off, and Roxy laughed.

“Oh, Jacob, I can’t do that talk for you. No, that’s one of those things parents find out on their own time. Still, they’re close. I think they’ll figure out where they stand with each other eventually, but I’m not going to meddle with that.” She said, laughing a little. Jacob felt a little embarrassed. He hadn’t meant to make things this awkward.

“Oh, right, of course. Sorry. Would you like some breakfast? I’m making John pancakes.” He said, and Roxy shook her head.

“Thanks Jacob, but I already ate. Still, make sure John eats something.” She said, and Jacob nodded.

“Oh Definitely, I mean he’s so thin!” He said, and Roxy joined him in saying the last few words.

“Yeah, he is. Make sure he gets something, he’s going to be doing a lot today.” She said factually, and Jacob nodded.

“I will.” He said, and began producing the food. A few minutes later, both John and a stack of pancakes emerged.

“You ready for training, Johnny?” She asked, and John nodded.

“Yes, I’m excited. I have my hammer.” John’s father didn’t ask questions, much to his relief.

“Alright Johnny boy, today’s going to be fun. Rose is here. We’re asking mom if she can stay here for a while, and transfer, or something. Now that you, Jade and Dave are all here, she wants to stay.” Roxy said, and John couldn’t stop the grin that hit his face.

“Really? I hope she says yes, that would be fantastic!” Roxy smiled too.

“Yeah, having Rosie here would be pretty great. So, eat breakfast, and we can go.” She said, and John shook his head.

“Nah, I’m not hungry Roxy, we can go now.” He said, and Roxy shared a look with Jacob, then put her hands on her hips.

“No can do Johnny boy, you’re going to be burning some calories today! So eat up! Look at that tiny tummy!” She said, offering him a poke on the stomach. A giggle erupted from John’s mouth, and the boy looked up at Roxy. Jacob looked between the two, noticing the strangely familial interaction between John and Roxy. He saw John smile, and his thoughts immediately turned to Jane. He turned sharply, as a physical representation of making his thoughts go away. He couldn’t think about Jane because of John any more. He wanted to be better, for both himself and his son. Immediately, he set down the plate of pancakes.

“John, she’s right. Eat something.” He said, and John sighed, but sat down.

“Okay, thanks Dad.” Roxy smiled. She was happy John could eat something. Once he finished, John put his plate away, and grinned. “I’m ready, Roxy.” He said, and Roxy gave him a high five.

“Alright Johnny boy, let’s go!” She said, and immediately they started to leave. “See you in a few hours, Jacob.” She said, and they left. Jacob looked between Roxy’s retracting form and Jane’s picture on the wall. He sighed. It looked like it was time to bake another cake.

___

Eventually, they ended up in Jake and Roxy’s home.

“Lovely, Everyone is here.” Jake said, and Roxy saluted.

“Reporting for duty, Jakey!” She said, and Jake smiled.

“Right. Well, it’s time to get training! I’ve brought Dirk here to assist us.” He said, and Dirk appeared from behind Jake.

“Hey, good morning everyone. Oh, nice to see you John. Now, I know you guys have been using these training dummies for a while, but I thought I’d try to spice things up a little. So, I’ll be making adjustments to all of them after I watch you guys train with them today, so you can train better.” Rose, who was standing by Roxy and John, looked up.

“I have a question. Why did you model them all after yourself?” She asked, and John noticed she was right. They all looked like Dirks, down to the pointy hair and pointier glasses.

“I had my measurements, so I figured that I would build them like me. If you’re all fighting at the same time, you’re going to need some space. I hope you have that.” He said, and Jake smirked.

“Actually Dirk, we do have space. Will our training room be enough? If not, we can all just drive out, and go to the park or something.” Dirk looked up.

“The park lets you just fight robots?” Roxy answered for him.

“Sure, everyone loves watching a kickass fight! But usually, people aren’t there this early. We found this great place that no one really walks near, so yeah.” Roxy said, and Dirk shrugged.

“Whatever floats your boat. I’m just the tech guy.” He said truthfully, and John nodded. “So, if you like the changes I suggest, I can implement them.”

“Noted Dirk, and thanks.” Jake said, and Roxy whooped.

“Alright, let’s go!” She said, and they all piled into a car. Dirk drove his truck, and he put the training robots in the back. Eventually, they all ended up at the park, and they carried their stuff out to their open, yet secluded area. Dirk completed the necessary configurations on the robots, and they all held their swords in a ready stance.

“I recommend that none of you go for level nine yet, because I need them to move slowly enough for me to see where I need changes. John, even after remodeling your hammer, I don’t like your robot- I need some more data, so I’m going to ask that you don’t go past a two out of the ten power level scale today. Everyone else can go for whatever they want. I’ll be logging data back here!” He said, gesturing to a computer. They gave him the OK, and they started. Immediately, John set his to a one, Rose started with a two, and both Jake and Roxy started on level six. John started fighting, avoiding hits and extending his hammer. The idea of his weapon really wasn’t to kill anyone, just deal some permanent damage. He found that with his newer, heavier hammer, he could deal some more damadge than he would have with the old one, but his robot didn’t seem to be taking as much as he liked.

Rose was enjoying her fight. She hadn’t received any hits yet, but she hadn’t really dealt any serious damage either. She used a spell on one, then stabbed it with her needle. The hole she made in its weird flesh was a big one, so she was surprised when the machine reassembled itself.

“Cool, Right?” Dirk asked, and she looked up, startled.

“Extremely.” She said, then a smirk lit her face once it finished regenerating. This was fun.

Jake decided he would turn his up higher, and Dirk found himself watching his fighting. He moved with a surprising amount of grace for a gun wielder, and sent a bullet through the machine’s head. First, he’d dodge, swing those amazing hips, and hit him. Dirk knew that if he ever sparred with him, he would lose, and not because of Jake’s skill level, even though that itself was impressive. No, if it was just Jake’s fighting skills, Dirk could take him. But, he had more than his fighting skills. Jake had his *ASS. And it was a really. Good. Ass.  It was like it sparkled in the sunlight. Dirk noticed a gap in his data, and realized that was the point in time when he was just drooling. What were we even talking about? Oh, right, fighting. Moving on, Roxy was pretty good too.

She was actually more than pretty good, she was badass. The woman was handy with that sword, and Dirk mentally remembered that it looked like a similar sword an anime character held. The fact that Dave didn’t die immediately during their fight, especially since it was clear she was holding herself back today, was good. He would have to lessen his punishment, or something. Roxy decapitated his robot, stabbed it, removed its arms, hit it in the crotch, physically removed its shades and much, much more without breaking a sweat. Eventually, she kicked it up to an eight, and it finally looked like she had to try to dodge the machine’s attacks. She was really, really skilled. Even Dirk would have trouble fighting her.

Meanwhile, John was doing pretty well. Dirk definitely gave him the first day benefit of the doubt, plus points for kicking the machine up a level within the first ten minutes. The issue was John’s choice of weaponry, really. It wasn’t like a hammer was bad, but it was like comparing a staff to a sword. Both could do damage, yes, but one was clearly more lethal in purpose and use. John’s hammer was the staff out of the two. His robots weren’t as affected by blunt force trauma, and while John could remove the machine’s head more than a few times, there was little else he could do. Right now, if he were fighting a living, breathing vampire, he’d be causing internal bleeding and breaking organs. The issue? Dirk’s robots didn’t have those. He’d add it to his notes to make a better robot for John. Not necessarily a weaker one, just something more suited to him. Maybe Dave could help.

Eventually, they stopped fighting. Jake had his hands on his hips, that fucking sexy tease. Wait, the man was talking to him.

“Pointers?” Dirk confirmed that was what the man asked, and Jake nodded. “Oh, well let’s see. Jake, good moves today, uh, keep your back covered. The robots really go for that at level nine and ten. Roxy, you’re a badass. Rose, we should do an independent session, I don’t know what your spells, or whatever, do to the robot. John, I want to build one better suited for your weapon. So, did you like them?” He asked, and everyone agreed.

“Yes, they were amazing Dirk. You did a bang up job building them.” Jake said, and everyone pretty much said things of a similar caliber.

“Thanks, guys. I’ll have your new one next week, and Rose, we can have a test day soon.” He said, and rubbed his hands together. “Well, good test everyone, I hope you had fun. Do you want me to do the changes?” He asked, and Jake nodded immediately.

“Definitely, they’ll be perfect.” Jake said, then added. “Just like you.” He said, and Dirk turned towards him.

“Well, I wouldn’t say that I’m perfect, but I have to be doing something right to get you.” Dirk responded, moving towards his boyfriend. Rose and John shared horrified glances, and Roxy stepped in between them.

“Okay, you guys can fuck later. My gob Jakey, we’re in public AND children are here. Let’s just get them home, I heard Rose had a date today.” She said, and Rose looked up in embarrassment.

“Roxy, I implore you not to share details of my whereabouts.” She said, and looked back at John, who was smiling. Roxy shared his expression. “And it’s not a date!” She insisted, but her protests only made it harder for Roxy to contain her laughter.

“Right, Rosie. Well, whatever the case may be, let’s get back.” She said, and they all piled into their separate cars. Jake ended up riding with Dirk, supposedly so that they could keep the robots in their car. Right, that was the reason, even if they did have more than enough space. Sure. Eventually they all returned to Roxy and Jake’s house, and while Rose ran off to go get ready, Dirk returned home. Jake offered to drive John home, but Roxy apparently ‘already volunteered’, so she did it. John didn’t really care either way.

Eventually they arrived at John’s house, and Roxy ended up coming inside. John went to go play videogames, and Roxy sat down and talked with his father. The two had been growing closer lately, undoubtedly over John. While that happened, Dirk returned home.

“Dave?” He asked, shouting over his incredibly loud turntables. Apparently, Dave didn’t hear him or didn’t care, and he decided he’d go upstairs and find his brother. Once he did, Dave opened the door to his room after a minute of knocking. If Dirk’s room was a robotics workshop, Dave’s room was a musical artist’s dream area. He had his turntables, his records, and other things on one-half, and his drawing tablet, actual paint brushes, giant screened computer and other things on the other side of the area. He found a few smuppets on the ground that Dave hadn’t bothered to pick up from a multitude of pranks before, and various posters. The room looked like a mess, with its endless wires, but Dave could clearly navigate it.

“What?” He asked, sounding and looking very, very upset. His shades were off, and Dirk could clearly see how upset his brother was through his brother’s eyes. Really, it was amazing how eyes could so easily be used as windows to the soul. He’d stopped talking while he was staring, and Dave looked at him. “So, are you just here being an asshole, or do you want something?” Dave asked, and Dirk blinked, then restarted.

“Oh, right. Yeah, I was wondering if you could help me with building a robot, but if you’re busy I understand.” Dirk said, and Dave sighed.

“No, I’m not busy.” Dave said. Dirk saw about twenty pages of Photoshop open on his computer, all displaying SBAHJ pages he was working on, and he looked like he was writing a new rap, at the same time. Still, if his brother said he wasn’t busy, it was probably because he’d run out of things to do. So, Dirk took the help.

“Thanks, little man. Bring your sword, my stuff is up on the roof. Oh, and I need you to wear this.” He said, holding up a black, skintight suit. Dave rolled his eyes but took the strange item, then picked up his weapon of choice. “Oh, Dave, no underwear.” He said, and Dave frowned, but obliged. His older brother started to walk out, and couldn’t help himself. “And you’re cleaning it if I see any weird stains!” He announced, and noticed Dave smirk a little, before it returned to a frown.

“Fuck you!”Dirk laughed, and went to go get his things, so that they could work on the roof.

Eventually, both Dave and Dirk were out on their attic/Roof, a flat platform Dirk had modified from how their original home looked. It was different, and they lost their outdoor attic, but they gained a strife location. Dirk sat down a computer, then pressed a few buttons. Dirk put the sheath on his sword.

“Okay, we have to fight now! The machine will log your body’s reaction. I’m only going for body hits, and that’s it. I’ll have to find some other way to test head trauma. You ready?” He asked, and Dave nodded. Oh, he was ready. He needed to blow off some steam anyway. So, when his brother started hitting him with his sword sheath, Dave got into it. He started swinging, slashing, hurting. His steps weren’t lithe and light, they were fast, and strong, and angry. Dirk blinked behind his shades. Where was Dave getting all this rage? He wanted his brother to be fighting as well as possible for this test. They could try again later, but right now, he knew he needed to get some anger out.

Dave was seething. Egbert said he wasn’t trustworthy. Egbert was angry at him. Fuck, he was angry with John! Egbert was mad at him for trying to help! After everything, really? Egbert, Egbert, Egbert! Dave sliced, thrusted, and stabbed at every chant of the boy’s name in his head. Dirk was dodging him fairly easily, but he needed to hit something! Still, his brother wasn’t a good target for his rage, especially if they were fighting with swords. That was the thing, you couldn’t just hit something with them. No, a sword meant a slice, and you can’t just do that. He wished that he was holding a staff, or something blunt, because he needed to hit something, now.

Suddenly, he had an idea. He’d change, and hit things with the flat side of his sword. While it wasn’t ideal for movement, his brother wouldn’t be injured badly this way. Plus, Dirk was doing the exact same thing to Dave. So, he moved his sword through the air with less grace, but he was able to focus on his target a lot more now. Eventually, he did actually get a few hits in, but by the time Dave realized that Dirk was hardly fighting back, his older brother brought the session to a close.

“Did you get your data?” He asked, and Dirk coughed.

“Yeah, thanks for your help. I’ll need something else later, but for now, I’m good.” Dave nodded, moving to his room. He immediately changed out of his suit, then moved to the front door. Maybe he couldn’t hit this problem out, and if he couldn’t hit it, that meant he had to run.

“I’m going for a run.” He called, and Dirk, who was relaxing on the couch, stood up.

“You never do that.” Dirk said, and Dave shrugged.

“I am today.” He said, and without protest, he left the house.

_________________

*Okay, I laughed so much after writing that. His butt literally sparkled. It sparkled, guys. And it’s canon too. [S] Collide was fantastic.


	18. Chapter 18

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chapters 39-52  
> Or pages 300- 404. Why are you still reading this?

JAFNF Chapter 39

(Sunday, January 25 th )

Eventually, Dirk received his data, and got to work on the robot. By the end of Sunday, he’d built it. It took significantly less time due to a lot of special mechanics he used, and the fact that he’d already started making something like this years ago. Really, all he had to do was import code and model it, and the robot was good from there. He came up from his room, ecstatic that he was done. Dave noticed his older brother.

“What’s up?” He asked, already knowing where the conversation would go.

“I finished that robot I was working on, want to check it out?” He asked, and Dave, while he was still upset, nodded.

“Sure, sounds cool.” He said, then descended down the steps after his brother. He found a robotic Dave standing there, wearing aviator shades instead of the triangles Dirk usually placed on his robots’ faces. “It’s.. me.” Dave said, honestly impressed. Dirk agreed with him.

“Hell yes it is, it’s a training robot. It has 10 levels, along with level T.” He said, and Dave frowned.

“Level T? What does it do?” He asked, and Dirk stopped his brother as he was about to flip that level’s switch.

“It, uh, it’s not a level we use. Just a programming variable, for self destructing.” He said, and Dave’s mouth twitched into a smirk.

“You put a self destruct button on your robot? You’re like Dr. Doofenshmirtz.” He said, and Dave laughed a little. “Oh my gog, you’re fucking doofenshmirtz.” He spoke again. Dirk naturally didn’t get the reference, but Dave was desperately attempting to hide his laughter. It wasn’t even that funny, so Dave couldn’t figure out why he kept laughing. He had to tell John about this, maybe he would- oh, right. Dirk saw his brother’s smile suddenly turn into a frown. “Anyway, cool robot, Dirk.” He said, and Dirk sighed.

“Dave, something is wrong. You don’t have to tell me about it, just tell me this.” He said, and Dave turned to look at him. “Does it have to do with Egbert?” He asked, and Dave faltered.

“How did you know?” He asked, and Dirk smirked.

“Call it intuition. It was more than a lucky guess, but no one told me. Try to figure things out tomorrow.” He said, and Dave sighed.

“Yeah, I will. Now, on an unrelated note, do we still have that cake in the fridge?” He asked, and Dirk nodded.

“We do.” He said, and Dave immediately went upstairs. The next time Dave resurfaced, he had a fork and plate of cake in his hand, and he was watching  _ Phinneas and Ferb _ on TV.

_

John emerged from his basement, only to find that Roxy was in his home again. Her visits with his dad had slowly become more frequent, and he found them both eating.

“Oh, Dad…Roxy, hi. Uh good afternoon.” He said awkwardly, and Roxy stood to greet John.

“Hey, Johnny. We were just having lunch, would you like to join us?” She asked, and John coughed. They were sitting with a champagne bottle between them. John noticed the scene with some serious discomfort, and realized that, in all honesty, he didn’t want to be here.

“Uh, I’m okay, but thanks. I was just leaving.” He said, and immediately went back down the stairs, to where his videogames were.

Later, he resurfaced again, only to see Roxy speaking to his father. Her tone sounded kind, but as soon as she noticed John coming, she stopped and turned to him instead. It was weird, but she made her abrupt conversation stop look natural, and John questioned if she actually had changed her words.

“Hi John, I’m leaving. I’ll see you next week, alright?” She said, patting a hand on his head. John looked up at her unsurely, but nodded.

“Right. I’ll see you next week, Roxy.” He said, and the woman smiled at him, then offered him a hug. John accepted it gladly, but when she left, he turned to his father.

“Dad, can I ask you a question?” John asked, and Jacob had to stop the urge to eagerly yell yes. He wanted to bond with his son, and this seemed as good of a chance as any.

“Of course John, you can come to me with anything.” He said, and John sighed.

“I know this is weird, and if I’m wrong we don’t ever have to talk about it again. But, are you and Ms. Roxy, uh.. you know?” He asked, and John’s father looked like a deer in the headlights.

“Well, John, uh, wow, is it hot in here?” His father asked, already moving towards the kitchen. John knew he’d have a ten layer cake on his hands, with this question. “Uh, No, I suppose we’re not.” He said, and John frowned. That answer came out so unsurely.

“Oh, alright Dad. Just one more question, do you want to?” He asked, and John’s father almost dropped the pan. He sighed, constantly putting on and taking off his oven mitts.

“John, Would it be bad if I said yes, or no?” He asked, then continued. “I love your mother.” He said, knowing he could work from that true statement. “And, both of us care about you, John.” He said, and John nodded along. “As for me to her, I don’t know.” He responded honestly, and John could accept that. “Do you feel a maternal bond to her, John? You can be honest.” He said, and John put his hands on his knees.

“I.. guess. I don’t know, Dad. I just feel like that when we talk, I know she cares about me a lot. I feel like she’s like, a cool aunt? That’s not bad, right?” He asked, and Jacob shook his head.

“Of course not John. She really does care about you. I don’t know how she feels about me though, or for that matter how I feel about her. Just know that we both love you very much, John. Despite anything, we’ll always love you.” He said, and for the first time, John, thinking back to Dave’s words, responded.

“I know, Dad. I love you too.” Even if it wasn’t true yet, John could tell that he was getting there. And really, that was what was important.

_

Roxy returned home with a satisfied smile on her face, only to see Jake sitting on the couch.

“Back from Jacob’s?” He asked, and Roxy nodded.

“Yeah, I am. How did you know?” She asked, and Jake shrugged.

“You have that look on your face.  It seems like love’s buzzing in the air for all of us these days.” He said, and Roxy rolled her eyes.

“I don’t know about that. But, it was really nice getting to see John.” She said, and Jake looked up.

“Oh, John. You really care about him, eh? Dirk’s building him a robot right now.” He said, and Roxy rolled her eyes and smirked playfully, making a move to sit down next to him.

“So, you mean he’s not talking to you.” She said, and Jake exhaled.

“Tease me all you want Roxy, I’m not the only one that’s been affected by the love bug.” He said, using some british term his grandmother told him when he was younger.

“Who else, Rose?” She asked, and sat up. “Wait, Rose!” She said, looking at him. Jake chuckled.

“The lass hasn’t left the guest room since her date yesterday. She’s acting quite cute about it, if you ask me.” He said truthfully, and Roxy smiled.

“Oh my gob Jakey, my little sister’s finally went on her first date! I’m going to have to grill her about it, with brownies!” She said, rushing to look for some sweet form of chocolate. Dark was, after all, her sister’s weakness. Jake laughed.

“You two are a riot, Roxy. I swear, you’re the high school girl right now, not her.” He said, and Roxy shoved him playfully.

“Please, I was cool about my high school dates. Remember freshman year? That guy, I dated, what was his name?” She asked, and Jake laughed.

“Oh gosh, was it that guy with the hair? The one with the accent on his w’s.” He asked, and Roxy laughed.

“Yes, yes it was! He had a guitar that he didn’t know how to play, but he thought he’d look cool if he posed with it. Gog, why did I say yes?” She said, and Jake laughed.

“I don’t know, but you met him in the magic club, and it was the funniest thing in the world. I hope he dyed his hair back.” Jake said, and Roxy laughed with him.

“I hope so too. Anyway, I found the chocolate, I’m talking to her.” She said, and Jake laughed.

“Go get em, Ro-Lal.” He said, and she did. Roxy walked up the stairs and knocked on Rose’s door.

“Rosie, Open up!” She said, and Rose responded immediately.

“I’m doing work sister, we can talk later.” Roxy smirked. It was time to bring out her ace card.

“I have chocolate!” She said, and Rose opened the door.

“I know what you’re trying to do, you can’t trick me.” Roxy just laughed.

“Rose, there’s no tricks involved. It’s Dark chocolate.” She said, and Rose sighed.

“Why must you do this?”

“Because I’m your sister and I love you and I’m nosey about your personal life. Let me in, Rosie.” She said, and Rose opened the door wider. They got situated on her bed, and the two had the bag of chocolates between them. “So, how did that date go? You know I want details. First, gender.” She said, and Rose sighed.

“Female. She’s a vampire.” She said, and Roxy looked up.

“Wait, the pretty one with the black lipstick and the short hair with the chaninsaw?” She asked, and Rose smiled fondly, remembering their conversation.

“That’s the one. And It wasn’t a date!” She said, and Roxy sighed.

“Oh, so you’re upset that she didn’t kiss you?” She asked, and Rose shook her head.

“No, sister that’s not it at all. I am not the least bit upset about that. In fact, I’m actually quite happy about how our lunch between friends went.” She said, and Roxy frowned.

“You know, if you want to go on a date with her, you should just ask. Unless, you’re saying you don’t want to.” Roxy said, and Rose blinked.

“Of course I want to!” She said, then covered her mouth. She’d just messed up. Roxy cheered and hugged her younger sister.

“Oh my gosh, Rose! You’re growing up so fast! So, how are you going to ask her out?” She asked, and Rose looked up.

“Me, ask her out? Why would I do that? If she wanted to, I’m sure she would.” She responded, trying to pour logic into her tone, but Roxy wasn’t having it.

“Sis, come on. You know they always tell you to go for what you want! If you want your tall, statuesque vampire woman, you’ve got to run for her! She probably wants you to ask. Girls like that.” She said, and Rose shook her head.

“I am a girl, I would know! How would I know that she’s even interested?” Rose asked, and Roxy scooted closer, putting a square of deliciousness in her mouth.

“Well, what did you two do on the date? What was she like, and what did she say?” Roxy asked, and Rose ran over their lunch in her mind.

“Oh, well, we discussed a book genre we liked, and she told me a story about Iron filaments and her teeth. Then, she complemented my dress and showed interest in my needles.” Rose said, and Roxy looked at her.

“She complemented you? What, did she say you looked nice too?” She asked, and Rose nodded hesitantly.

“She did.” Roxy grinned.

“She totes likes you Rose, and you guys clicked. Just go for it!” She encouraged, and Rose looked unconvinced.

“I doubt any way I would ask her is appropriate. Plus, I may not even be in town again for a while, if mom were to say no.”

“Rosie, you can’t let this opportunity get away from you. You have a chance, and if you’re really supposed to be with this girl, you two can make it work. Trust me Rose, you’re going to regret it if you don’t go after that woman.” Roxy said, and Rose knew her words were true.

“Alright sister, I’ll try. I just don’t know how I should ask. She’s so calm and collected, and cool. I have to try to match that when I ask her out, and I don’t know how.” Rose said, and Roxy laughed.

“You’ll figure something out. You know, getting a woman with all the right traits isn’t what people usually complain about.” She said truthfully, and Rose sighed.

“You’re right. I can do this!” She said, and Roxy stood up.

“I know you can. Go get your vampire lover!” Rose looked down at her sister from her standing position.

“Roxy, please don’t phrase it that way.” She said, and Roxy just laughed.

“Sure thing, Ro-Lal.” She said, even though they both knew she’d never stop saying it that way. “Anyway, what are you up to now, sis?” She asked, and Rose’s cheeks darkened.

“I planned to text Kanaya, but maybe I’ll read instead.” She said, and Roxy slapped her sister on the back.

“That’s my sister, going for what she wants. I’ll leave you to it.” Roxy stood, opened the door, and walked out.

__

Karkat, Jade, Calliope, Nepeta, Equius and Tavros’s get to know each other day at the mall was moved to Sunday, which meant that instead of happening Saturday, it would happen today. They all slowly arrived at Karkat’s house, and eventually the group all ended up in Equius’s SUV. They all arrived at the mall, and the students walked out. At first, they were all in a group, but after the first 30 minutes, Karkat and Equius found themselves walking behind an excited group of girls, who all pulled Tavros along. Equius had questions about how being a vampire even worked, and Karkat answered them. They both sent pittied looks towards Tavros.

Apparently, Jade, Nepeta and Calliope decided that he was cute because of his pointy ears and shy demeanor. So, they ended up pulling him along, making him judge clothing, and doing things that were the farthest from his interests as humanly possible. Tavros whispered ‘help’ when they’d asked him about makeup, and while Karkat and Equius tried to assist him, the three excitable girls ended up winning time with Tavros. Still, they drew the line when the three girl’s shopping took them towards a Victoria’s Secret, and pulled Tavros out of there before he could be too mentally scarred.

Karkat and Equius pulled him off to go shopping elsewhere, and the three girls stayed inside. Nepeta, the ever-curious human, was asking Jade questions about her werewolf abilities.

“Wait, so could you just transform part of yourself then?” She asked her, and Jade looked confused.

“What do you mean?” She asked, and Nepeta elaborated.

“Well, you can transform whenever you want, and you’re forced to transform under the full moon. But could you only do a part of yourself, like your ears or something?” Nepeta asked, and Jade looked at her.

“I don’t know, I never thought about it! Let’s go into a fitting room, and try!” She said, and both Callie and Nepeta complied. Jade closed her eyes, and concentrated. She centered the tingling she usually felt while transforming onto her head, and when she opened her eyes, she had black ears on her head. Unfortunately, her glasses fell to the ground. “Woah!” She said, catching her glasses once they fell off her nose. Nepeta bounced in excitement, and Calliope put a hand to her head, then felt where her ears would have been, had she been human. They were gone.

“Jade, your normal ears are gone!” Calliope said, and Jade reached to the sides of her face and confirmed. She was right.

“Oh my gosh Jade, you look so purrfectly adorable!” Nepeta said, and Jade turned to see a mirror. She looked like a furry, and the hearing instruments blended into her hair a little, but they showed. “We should show Equius and Tavros and Karkat!” She said, and Jade looked at her.

“What? I couldn’t do that, they’d laugh at me. Plus, wouldn’t all these people see a girl with real ears and be kind of confused?” She asked, and Nepeta pouted.

“Oh, right. But they wouldn’t laugh at you Jade. You look like a furry now!” She said, and both Calliope and Jade looked confused.

“Nepeta dear, what is a furry?” Calliope asked, and a smile hit Nepeta’s face. They had a lot to learn.

Meanwhile, Equius, Karkat and Tavros were having many dude time. Of course, by that I mean they were riding the mall train. Yes, they were teenagers, and yes, Equius was most certainly embarrassed, but that was a pivotal moment in both of their childhoods that Tavros hadn’t experienced. So, they rode a fucking choo choo train, and they fucking loved it. Tavros enjoyed the ride, and thanked his stars that no one he knew would be there. Equius and Karkat hoped for the same. Eventually, they strode into Hot Topic, and Tavros looked intimidated by the entire establishment. The immediate change from the soft music and bright walls of the rest of the mall to the dark colors and  _ My Chemical Romance _ in Hot Topic was strange enough for the boy, but when he found shelves lined with everything from spiky collars to  _ Pierce the Veil _ T- Shirts, Tavros felt like he would tumble into a void of angst.

“Uh, do you guys sh-hop here often?” Tavros asked, and Karkat shrugged.

“Hm, not often, but I’ve been here before. Equius, I didn’t take you for a closet Hot Topic lover.” He said, and Equius frowned, his black shades making him look slightly intimidating.

“I’m not, Nepeta likes it here.” He said, and Karkat nodded. That made sense. A store selling anime merchandise seemed like something right up that cat’s alley. They left eventually, and went into a far less punk store after that one. Equius recommended a Jacket for him, and Tavros’ eyebrows raised.

“Really, you think I’ll look good in it?” He asked, and Equius nodded. “Okay, I’ll try it on.” Tavros said, immediately walking to the back of the store. Still, he left the clothing article behind him. When the trio reached the fitting rooms, Tavros went inside one, but Karkat noticed he didn’t have the suit jacket with him.

“Tavros, did you forget the actual clothing you were trying on?” He asked, with a roll of his eyes. Tavros stepped out of the fitting room wearing the clothing.

“H-How’s this for forgetting?” He asked, stepping out in the outfit. Karkat looked surprised, but he was trying to hide it.

“What did you do?” He asked, and Tavros shrugged.

“Oh, you know. I just duplicated it.” He said nonchalantly, and Equius looked at him.

“How is that possible?”

“Magic.” He responded, trying, and actually succeeding at sounding cool for once. “Still, I probably shouldn’t wear this out of the store, they’ll think I stole it.” Tavros said, and Karkat raised an eyebrow.

“Have you been in that situation before?” Tavros nodded.

“Unfortunately, I was. They brought me to holding, then I just turned into a fairy and got out.”

“Hm, interesting.” Equius received a call from his cellphone, and he picked it up. “Nepeta, are you alright?” He asked, and she responded. “Thank goodness. Where?” He asked, and she said more. “Alright, we’ll see you shortly.” He said, then hung up. Equius turned to his two companions. “They’re in the food court.” He said, and the three began to walk.

Eventually, both groups made it to the food court, and met in front of an empty  _ Chipotle _ . Nepeta giggled around Jade, while Calliope watched with a bemused expression. Once Jade’s eyes landed on the three males in their party, she waved them off.

“Geez, took you long enough, Karkat.” She greeted, and Karkat rolled his eyes.

“Hello to you too, Jade. Are we eating here, or going out somewhere else?” Karkat asked, and Calliope stepped up.

“Oh, I’m alright either way, you all can pick.” She said, and Tavros added his two cents in.

“I’m uh, okay with w-whatever too.”

“I do not entertain the idea of consuming this greasy swill, either here or outside of the Mall. I have no qualms about eating later, so my position on the matter is indecisive.” Equius said, and Nepeta pouted.

“You always say that, Equitty!”

“It is always true.”

“Well, I’m okay with whatever anyone else wants, as long as there’s meat. Or ice cream, I like that too.” Nepeta said, and Karkat spread his hands out.

“Fine, fine. Ice cream or meat?” He asked, and the  vote was unanimous.

“Ice cream.” They all chorused, some more excitedly than others. So, the six teenagers left to go get some ice cream.

After what surely would have been a beautiful montage of memories, including but not limited to Jade physically hurting Karkat, Calliope showing her skull, and quite a few comments about abdominal muscles that made Equius sweat, the party members all returned to their homes, ready to face the challenges Monday would bring them.

___

Filler chapter? Who, me? I may write out that scene from before, but this was getting long.

JAFNF Chapter 40

((Woo, I never thought I would get this far!!))

(Sunday, January 25 th )

Tavros returned to Calliope’s house that night. In truth, he wasn’t really living anywhere. So, with Caliborn absent, Calliope invited him to stay with her, and Gamzee, her guardian. Tavros didn’t really know what to make of the situation, so he just went with it. Calliope was nice, and Gamzee was terrifying, but he wasn’t there often, so it was okay. The two talked and compared magic, and Calliope gave him basic necessities. The young fairy had what most would call a hard life, but he’d never viewed it that way. Tavros knew little about how fairies, or other magical beings worked. He just knew he could do things that other people couldn’t, and worked with it. It worked for Tavros, but when Calliope realized he didn’t know a lot about himself, she made it her mission to tell him about it.

When the two first started living together, Tavros wasn’t quite sure how to interact with her. He’d never lived with other people before, but he hoped he was doing it right. Calliope was incredibly kind to him, and he tried to return the favor. He kept their house clean, but when Calliope realized that he hadn’t been doing it with magic, she made it her mission to teach him how to do it. The teachings had evolved into magic lessons over time, and Tavros remembered the first one clearly. The two hadn’t even done much, if he recalled. They just talked.

“As a fairy, you should know a little about yourself.” She said one day, and Tavros listened attentively. “Do you know how you came to exist?” She asked, and Tavros shook his head. “Alright, we’ll start there. You are a fairy. You exist because of people’s emotions. You should know that Fairies are extremely rare, and few in number. You see Tavros, you’re very, very special. You’re a culmination of all of this world’s sadness. Tears, broken dreams, lost hopes. That’s why you’re here.” She said, and Tavros frowned. That didn’t sound good.

“Is that.. a good thing?” He asked, and Calliope shrugged.

“It’s the truth. Once a certain amount of sorrow exists in the world, at a certain point in time, a fairy can appear. A fairy’s job is to make it better again. You’ve been given great power Tavros, and your power can make people happy. Once you realize your full potential, you’ll have the ability to wipe people’s tears away, and put smiles on their faces. That’s what you do. Right now, you’re surrounded by misery.” She said, and Tavros had to raise his hand and ask a question.

“Calliope, I’m, uh, sorry, but I really don’t see myself as miserable.” Tavros said, then amended. “Or, uh, anyone around me.” He added, and Calliope put a hand on her chin.

“That may be true for now, but think back- what’s your earliest memory?” She asked, and Tavros frowned.

“I was really young, I think. I had parents, or something, but when I showed up, everything started getting bad for them, so they blamed me and kicked me out- was that my fault?” He asked, and looked up. “Do I bring people unhappiness?” He asked, and Calliope put her hands out reassuringly.

“No Tavros, of course not! You just came before the sadness started, while most fairies appear during it. A fairy’s visit is supposed to be a beacon of hope, or a good omen. And it is, but with you, it was a sign that things were about to take a turn for the worst, but get better. The unhappiness that came wasn’t because of you- It was always fated to happen. They just blamed it on you, even though you were the one who was ultimately meant to bring their happiness back. Do you understand, Tavros?” She asked, and the boy nodded uncertainly.

“I think so. Wait, uh, what does it mean, since I’ve appeared with you guys now? You all seem happy, is something bad going to happen?” He asked, looking up at her nervously. Calliope hesitated, but nodded.

“Yes, I believe so. I don’t know how, or when, but troubling times are coming. I won’t be here to guide you for long. And Tavros, you have to be ready for this situation. You have to be ready to make everyone’s sadness go away. It’s not an easy task, but I know you can do it.” She responded, trying to reassure him. Tavros looked a little upset.

“What- What if I’m not ready? What if I can’t help, what do I do?” Calliope smiled, and put a hand on his shoulder.

“You can do it Tavros. I know you can.” She paused, allowing her words to take effect. “After all, you have to.”

______________--

Kanaya smiled. She’d just gotten off the phone with Karkat, and now Rose was talking to her over pesterchum. The young vampire had been friends with Karkat for most of her life, and once she learned he was a vampire as well, they grew even closer. She remembered him all those years ago. He was hurt and confused, but he trusted her. The two had been close friends, maybe even best friends ever since.

Then, there was Rose to think about. She felt a strange affliction towards the blonde vampire slayer. Their lunch yesterday had been nice. No, it was more than nice. Kanaya looked forward to their next one, and hoped with all of her being that the time they spent  together was actually a date, and more than just two friends chatting over books. Still, Kanaya wasn’t sure how the girl would respond to Kanaya asking her out. Was she even gay? While the vampire hadn’t received that vibe from her, she also knew that the pretence of a gay ‘vibe’ was ridiculous. Some people were just more open about their interests than others.

She knew her mother didn’t mind, a fact that she was grateful for. Unfortunately, she knew her mother did mind her disobeying orders and sneaking out to go help Dave’s ragtag group of friends. Her mother respected her decision, but that didn’t mean she wasn’t in trouble. So, Kanaya found that her list of chores multiplied, and didn’t expect it to change for a while. In truth, the girl didn’t mind doing the work, but more chores meant less time for schoolwork and Rose, two causes that she found herself devoted to, as on late.

The vampire put down the broom and sighed. That was enough  sweeping for now. Her decisions may have been influenced by the purple notification light that shone on her phone. After a conversation, Kanaya found herself agreeing to meet up again with the girl. Still, Rose hadn’t phrased it as a date. Kanaya wanted nothing more than to just ask if their outings were to be considered dates, but the repercussions if they weren’t were more than enough to make Kanaya not ask. At least, she couldn’t ask over text, where it was much harder to read another person’s response.   

So, the college bound senior put her phone down and picked her broom up. She still had another layer of their house to clean, yet Kanaya felt it was worth it. If she didn’t go on that trip, she never would have met the intellectual, beautiful Rose Lalonde, and that was enough of a cause to make anyone pick up a broom and sweep. So, that’s what she did.

___

John’s father asked him to come to the kitchen, and when the black haired boy saw a slice already cut out of one of the cakes, he knew he wouldn’t like where their conversation led.

“John, would you like some cake?” His father asked, and John politely refused. He kind of hated the food, but his father didn’t need to know that. “Oh, alright. So, you know how you asked about Roxy earlier today?”The man asked, and John nodded.

“Yes. If that was a bad question, or not appropriate, I-”

“No, John. It was more than alright. I was just surprised, that’s all. Your question made me think, though, and I was wondering if I could ask you the same thing.” He said, and John looked up in surprise.

“You can, but with who? The only one of my friend’s you’ve really met is-”

“Dave.” His father said for him, and John looked up. “Are you two dating? If you are, or you aren’t, it’s okay. You should know I’ll always love you.” John looked confused at the suggestion.

“What? No, we’re not. I’m, um, not a homosexual. But why do you ask?” He said, and his father shrugged.

“Hm, I’m not sure. Roxy said you two were close, and the way you two act around each other- I’m sorry John, but you two act like a couple. Maybe your friendship is just different, I don’t know. If you’re not, I understand, but may I ask why?” His father responded, and John looked down.

“I guess I never really thought about it. I never really considered myself as a homosexual.” He said truthfully, and his father nodded.

“And that’s okay, John. Really, it is. Do you mind if I ask you more? If you don’t want to respond, you don’t have to.” John paused.

“Okay.” He said finally, and John’s father put down his newspaper.

“John, do you hurt yourself?” He  asked, and John looked down. He really didn’t want to respond, but spoke anyway.

“How much did Dave tell you?”

“He said you two fell down yesterday, and something may have scratched your arms, or thighs. Is it true?” He asked, and John sighed.

“I stopped.” He said truthfully, and his father pressed for more.

“How long since your last one?”

“A few weeks ago.” John’s father stood, offering his son a hug. John accepted it.

“John, did you ever try to do it? Permanantly?” He asked, and John looked away. Life with Caliborn feeding off him, and Karkat tormenting him had been hard. Coupled with the fact that he had zero guidance and no one to talk to, it shouldn’t have been a surprise.

“I did.” He admitted, and was shocked to feel wet tears on his head.

“John, I’m so, so sorry.” He said, then sank to one knee. “Can- Can you ever forgive  me?” He asked, and John shook his head.

“It’s not your fault, it was me.” He said, but his father protested.

“No, John. I was supposed to be there for you, and I wasn’t. I’m so sorry.” He said truthfully, and John sighed.

“I forgive you.” The man pulled away.

“John, you know that I love you?” John suppressed the urge to say no.

“I know, I love you too.” The man nodded.

“Thank you. I do love you.” He said, and looked down at his son. “Which is why, if you’re willing, I would like to do counseling with you. I think… it would really benefit us both. I’ve already found one, but I haven’t confirmed any appointments. I just… really want to fix things, John. I don’t know if I can make up for all these years, but I want to be there for you in the future. If I’m being honest, I know nothing about parenting. Your mother and I were both very young when we had you, and without some guidance, I really don’t know if I’ll be any better in the future. Can we try?” He asked, and John thought about it. He decided that he wanted things to be better.

“Yes. I’m open to it.” He said, and Jacob smiled.

“Thank you.” He said to his son, and John nodded. “Now, it’s getting late, and you have school tomorrow.” The boy pouted a little, it was only eight. Well, he could stay up on his phone for a little, at least. Still, he felt obliged to follow his directions now.

“Yes, dad. Goodnight.” He said, and John’s father smiled at him.

“Goodnight, John.”

__

D’AWW, would you look at that, everything is okay. Except with Dave, but they’ll fix that. John has some things to think about, if you know what I mean.

JAFNF Chapter 41

(Monday, January 26 th )

The next day, Dave didn’t appear at John’s house. It was a Monday morning, and it looked like John would have to travel to school without his daily dose of Dave. It was raining, so he decided he would take his car. He found his father hurriedly packing items.

“John, good morning. I have a business trip for the next three weeks, will you be alright?” He asked his son, and John nodded. At least he knew when his father would be back this time. “Good. I’ll call you tomorrow morning, before you head off for school. I love you!” He said, and John smiled.

“You too, dad. Have a good trip!” He said, and the man smiled.

“I will, have a good day at school.” John’s dad went into his garage, then quickly loaded himself into the car and left. John followed suit, entering what came to be known as his car, and left for school too. For the first time in days, he’d parked in the school’s parking lot, pulled up his hoodie, and walked the short distance to his high school. He saw Karkat and Sollux walking into school, and to his surprise, they both waved at him. John shyly waved back and visited all of his teachers, confirming that the previous week’s work was complete. He was handed a worksheet or two to complete, but other than that, he was covered. At the beginning of fifth period lunch, Nepeta caught him in the hallway.

“Hey, John! Are you coming to the table?” He’d been sitting with her, Equius, Karkat, and Dave for a while now. John wanted to join them, but he needed to find Dave first.

“I will, but tomorrow. I need to find Dave.” He said, and Karkat nodded. He understood. So, the group of people left, and John went off to go search for Dave. When he found him, he was not-so –subtly standing against a bookshelf. Their greetings were tense, and awkward, but they still proceeded. “Hi, Dave.” John said shyly, and Dave looked at him through his sunglasses.

“Sup, Egbert.” He responded, and John had to blink. The way he said that… making up would be harder than he thought. Still, John wanted to make up with Dave. Ever since his father’s evaluation on how they acted around each other, uncomfortable warmth would hit John’s cheeks every time he thought about Dave.

“I’m sorry.” He said, and Dave looked surprised. He hadn’t expected his friend to say it that openly. “I shouldn’t have said I couldn’t trust you. It’s not true.” John said, and Dave sighed.

“John, I’m sorry too.” He admitted, then continued. “I shouldn’t have told your dad that without warning you first. You get that I was trying to help, right?” Dave asked, and John nodded.

“I know, and you did. I’m, uh, doing a therapy thing soon with him, so thanks.” John said, and Dave nodded.

“That’s good, John.” The two stood there awkwardly for a minute, unsure of what to do, before John spoke up.

“Makeup hug?” He asked, and Dave complied.

“Oh, right.” Dave said, awkwardly spreading his arms out. He pulled John into him, and the two stood in that position for a minute or so, before letting go. John felt warmth over his ears and cheeks, and Dave’s freckled face turned red in response.

“Oh, cool! So, I guess we could do book shelving, or go to the lunchroom.” Dave looked up at the librarian, and she regarded him with a cold, unsettling stare. Dave remembered that she was still upset with him for disobeying orders, so Dave immediately turned John around.

“Right, to the cafeteria it is.” He said, trying to maintain his cool and not shiver. Eventually, they ended up at Karkat’s lunch table, only to find Nepeta and Equius there too.

“Oh, hi guys. I brought Dave.” John greeted, and Karkat looked up at them.

“Oh, you know I don’t give a shit either way.”

“Nice to see you too, shouty.” Dave retorted, causing Karkat to huff in exasperation. Still, the pair sat down, and genuinely enjoyed the company of the rest of their group.

“Hi Dave! Hi John!” Nepeta greeted them warmly, and John smiled.

“HI, Nepeta. Also, hello Equius.” He said, and John received a short, tense nod from the boy in response. They all sat around a little awkwardly for a moment before John cleared his throat.

“So, How was everyone’s weekends?” He asked, and Nepeta spoke up.

“Oh, mine was great! I hung out with Jade and Equius and Karkat and Calliope AND Tavros at the mall! I also helped Jade do a cute werewolf thing, so it was absolutely paw-some!” Nepeta said excitedly, and John swore the blue tail she wore started to shake with all of her liveliness.

“Wait, what werewolf thing?” Karkat asked, and looked at Equius. “I didn’t see anything like that, did you?” He asked him, and Equius shook his head in confirmation.

“No, what was this?” He asked Nepeta, and the girl giggled.

“You’ll find out when you find out, no need to ruin the surprise now! What about you, Dave?” She asked, and Dave shrugged.

“I helped my brother get some data for this robot he made.” Equius practically dropped his milk at that statement.

“Wait, your brother builds robots?” He asked, and Dave nodded, a little familial pride appearing in his tone.

“He does. He’s really fucking good at it too- he could sell his inventions, but he says he’s not up for all the headaches that come with patenting and shit.” Dave responded coolly, and Equius’ blue eyes widened.

“A closet genius, how incredible! That’s amazing, and unprecedented. Tell me, how long did it take him to build it?”

“Well, after he got the data from me, maybe a day or so. But I think he already had a body or something, which is weird as hell, but whatever. Why?” At that point, Equius did actually drop his milk onto the table, and the little liquid remaining in the container spilled out.

“Oh, Fiddlesticks!” He said, automatically pulling out a napkin to remove the mess. Equius looked up, embarrassed. “Oh, forgive my profanities, I’m just shocked. Would- I mean, could I possibly see it function one day?” He asked, and Dave shrugged.

“I have to ask him, but why not? He’ll probably think it’s good that someone else is into his robotics shit, even if he is, like, an adult.”

“How fascinating. I cannot contain my excitement. Oh, and onto you John, what did you do?” He asked, attempting to include the boy. John froze. He probably couldn’t share his hunting business, and his revelations about his father’s relationship with his friend’s mother certainly wasn’t appropriate conversation, so that left Friday.

“Oh, not much, but I hung out with Karkat. We watched movies and did homework.” He said, and John noticed a little flash of something negative on Dave’s face, before his usual personality was in place again.

“Wow, you’re a busy guy Karkat.” Dave said, and Katkat smirked.

“Please Strider, you know I get around.” The idle conversation around the table stopped for a second, and while John looked horrified by his phrasing and Nepeta sat blissfully unaware, Equius began to sweat profusely. “…What, Did I say something?” Karkat asked, and as soon as Dave snickered, he got it. “Oh, shut the hell up Strider, quit being immature.” Karkat said, and Dave waved it off. John couldn’t help the little laugh that escaped his mouth too, and Karkat sat there in embarrassment, waiting until the two stopped. Eventually, they did.

The conversation felt less forced from that point on, and John found that he was surprised when the bell rang.  He wanted to dash to class, but Dave put a hand on his shoulder.

“No Caliborn, remember?” He said, and the tension left John’s shoulders immediately. Dave had been reminding him of the lack of his presence for months, but some days, he snapped back into routine. The blue eyed boy smiled, his expression relieved.

“Right, then we should go to class. What’s your next period?” John asked, and Dave let out an annoyed sigh.

“History room 205. What about you?” He asked, and John brightened.

“Oh, that’s on my way! It’s room 306, so I’ll walk you to your class first.” John said, and the pair of friends walked out.  John grew slightly uncomfortable at the sight of various couples lining the walls, and his Dad’s words echoed in his mind again. They didn’t act like a couple. Dave and John certainly weren’t doing what a couple to their right did. Still, he was walking Dave to class, but friends did that all the time too. Dave sniffed, and looked down at John.

“Egbert, you okay?” He asked, and John sighed.

“Oh, I’m alright, I’m just thinking about my dad.” John said, and from Dave’s worried expression, he knew he’d chosen his words poorly. “Oh, no, not like that! It was just something weird he said.” John reassured, and Dave looked at him curiously through his sunglasses.

“What did he say?” He asked, and John froze. No, he absolutely could not share that comment with Dave.

“What? I mean, it was nothing you should worry about. At all. In fact, we should focus on something else, like getting to your classroom.” John said hurriedly, and Dave raised an eyebrow.

“If you say so, John.” When the pair finally arrived, Dave sighed. “Well, looks like we’re here. I’ll catch you later!” Dave said, and John looked up at his friend, beaming.

“Okay, have fun in class, Dave!” He said, and when Dave looked down at John, he felt his heart stop for a second. When the fuck did his friend get that cute? Dave played off his thoughts and ignored the burning in his cheeks with a roll of his eyes.

“I’ll try, but no promises.” Dave said, and as John walked off, he slipped into his seat next to Terezi, fully aware that his cheeks were burning.

“Who was that?” She asked curiously, and Dave let out a little sigh, then cleared his throat.

“Oh, that was John.” He said, looking a little wistful. Terezi smirked.

“Wow, must be some guy, this John.” She said, and Dave agreed wholeheartedly, but looked at her.

“Why do you say that?” He asked, and Terezi laughed.

“Your face is completely red, Dave.” Dave went to check his cheeks, and found that they were indeed, warm.

“How the hell did you know?” He asked, referencing her colorblindness.

“Duh Strider, you just told me.” She said, and Dave gave her a smirk.

“Jealous, ‘Rezi?” He asked, and the girl just smirked again in response.

“From the way you’re acting, I probably should be.” Dave just rolled his eyes, and the action only made Terezi laugh more.

______________________________-

John made it to his math classroom, then stared at the board, in boredom. (Heh, see what I did there?) Anyway, the words the teacher wrote on her smart board were things that the students either already knew or didn’t care enough to learn. Of course, that meant that John barely tolerated the teacher’s nasal voice and annoying puns, and after the bell rang, he gladly put away his worksheet and moved out of the classroom. He had something better to look forward to, namely Dave Strider. Plus, he had biology with a teacher whose home life was awesome, so that was a bonus as well.

It seemed like Dave was waiting for him when he walked in the room. As soon as John greeted Karkat and sat down, Dave turned in his seat towards John.

“Hey, Egbert.” He greeted him coolly, and the somewhat deflated John Egbert puffed up with happiness.

“Hi Dave! Did you have fun in history?” He asked, and Dave smirked.

“The only way I could actually bring myself to enjoy that class is if you were there. Terezi could only manage to make it bearable, at best.”

“That’s expected. Math was torture today, she just kept going on and on in her nasal voice.” Dave winced.

“Ouch Egbert, you persevered through a whole semester of that voice? I’m so fucking sorry.” Dave responded, and John smiled lightly.

“It’s okay Dave, I’m out of there now.” He said, and John shrugged. The teacher walked in, offering the students a little wave before class started. Eventually, their class period ended, and John even had the luxury of getting to work with Dave and Karkat groups of three today. As the students all stood to leave, Karkat muttered something about Jade and left. Weird. Still, John and Dave wished the teacher a nice day, then left. Instead of going to John’s house, John decided he would visit Dave today. When Dirk saw him at the carpool line, he looked pleasantly surprised. He offered the boy a fist bump, and John gladly did it.

“Hey, John. Nice to see you again.”  John smiled warmly.

“Thanks, Mr. Strider. It’s nice to see you too!” The adult looked back at John through his shades.

“Please, call me Bro. I’ll sound like a dad. Oh, and I finished up your training robot John, if you’d like to give it a go.” He said, and John looked excited, but frowned.

“I want to, but I didn’t bring my hammer with me.” He said, and Dirk nodded in understanding.

“Hm, okay. I guess you can just do the normal test run, this Saturday. Do you still want to see it?” He asked, and John nodded enthusiastically.

“That would be great, Bro!” He said, and Dave was surprised at how easy the honorary title rolled off John’s tongue. So, the trio eventually ended up back at the Strider household, even if their ride was accompanied by arguments over music, as always. John guessed that was something he needed to get used to. In truth, he didn’t mind. Hanging out at Dave’s house was more than enough for the boy.

When the group finally arrived, Dave ended up not jumping out of the car, and held his door open for John instead. A grin hit John’s face and he thanked Dave. When Dirk flash stepped in, John was still impressed.

“Dave, I hope you don’t mind if I borrow John for a bit. And if you do, well, I’m taking him anyway.” His older brother said, immediately dragging John to the basement.

“Fuck you!” He shouted, sounding slightly annoyed. John sat there, impassive as he was dragged down  the stairs. In truth, he did want to see this robot that was better equipped for his weapon.

“Sorry about that. Now, Introducing… the Davebot!” He said, gesturing to a robot. John stood there, his mouth agape. The robot was.. Dave. Well, sort of. It was all orange, with glowing red lines traced across its body. It had shades, just like the one’s he’d given to Dave, and held a sword similar to Dave’s. John said the first thing that came to his mind.

“It’s… Dave.” He said, and Dirk nodded enthusiastically.

“It’s more than that. It’s a self regenerative, multi function, varied power level training machine. Do you like it?” He asked, and John nodded, inspecting the machine.

“This… may be the coolest thing I’ve ever seen.” John said truthfully, and Dirk grinned.

“I thought so. Well, you can take it home and try it out. I feel like I’m forgetting something, but until I remember, he’s all yours. We can do the official test run soon, and you know not to have the level too high. Oh, and if you say shut down loud enough, he’ll do it. Any questions?” He asked, and John raised his hand.

“No, I don’t think so. At least, none that I would understand the answers to. Thank you, thank you, thank you Bro!” He said, and the man ruffled his hair.

“No prob, John. Now, you should probably go upstairs. Dave is probably crapping his pants to get to hang out with you.” He said, and John nodded dutifully, then joined the younger Strider. He saw Dave sitting there, his sword at his side.

“Dave!” He said, causing the boy to look up and regarded the boy. He had his sunglasses off, and smiled.

“Hey, Egbert.  So did you have anything you wanted to do today?” He asked, and John heard a strange edge in his voice.

“Uh, no, I didn’t have anything in mind. Why, did you?” He asked, and Dave smirked, turning away from the boy as he walked.

“Well, I know we mentioned this earlier, and it really all depends if my brother’s in the mood, buuut-” He paused, turning around. “I was wondering if you wanted to watch a mini-strife. Just because, you haven’t seen it before.” He said, and immediately, a gigantic grin hit John’s face, and Dave knew the answer to that question.

“Let’s ask him now!” He said, and he excitedly bounced back towards Dirk’s realm. Dave watched him leave with a lopsided smile on his face. Personally, he wasn’t a huge fan of strifes, but if they made John this happy, he’d do one any day.

__________________________-

JAFNF Chapter 42

(Monday, January 26 th )

So, John sat comfortably on the roof of the Strider’s home. What was he doing there, you may ask? Or, if you’ve read the last chapter, you probably already know. Either way, John had his phone in his lap, prepared to record the sheer awesomeness that was about to take place before his eyes.

“Three minutes, no handicaps.” Dirk said simply, and Dave nodded.

“I agree to your terms. Enjoy the show.” The vampire responded, and the two started just as John hit the record button on his phone. Dirk flash stepped towards Dave, who predicted and avoided his incoming attack. Dave swung for an opening on Dirk’s side, but as soon as the man was there, he was gone. Dave closed his eyes. He had his sunglasses on now, and they blocked his peripheral vision. Immediately, Dave saw a flash and had half a second to duck, before Dirk went in for a stab. He brought his sword down towards Dave, who used his to block, then slide under.

The fight intensified, and John was getting every second of it. He let out a few sounds of amazement, and found himself rooting for Dave. He stayed silent though, he didn’t want to break their concentration. Dave went for a sweep ad Dirk’s legs, and Dirk responded with a slice towards Dave’s back. Immediately, Dave did something similar to a break dancing move and got out of the way. John let out a little noise of appreciation, then gave Dave a thumbs up when he flashed him a smile.

Dirk moved towards Dave again, and the two circled each other dangerously. Dirk did the easiest possible trick in the book- a faint to his left, then an actual attack to his right, but seeing John made Dave react slightly slowly. He barely twisted out of the way, only to receive a little nic to the side. Dirk smirked, then went for another hit, and Dave had to sloppily back flip out of the way. Dirk went for a stab, and to John’s utter amazement, Dave catapulted himself up on his sword, and launched himself into the air. He had his sword in the perfect downward strike position, and at the last second, Dirk blocked. He had both his hands on the sword, and Dave unfortunately slid down. Both brothers were silent for a second until Dirk started laughing, and Dave looked up irritably.

“Shut up.” He said, and Dirk’s glasses alerted him at the same time as John.

“Three minutes!” They shouted, and immediately the fight stopped. John ran over to Dave, then helped him stand, even though he could have gotten up himself.

“So, how was it?” Dirk asked, and John practically exploded.

“Are you kidding? That was insane! I can’t believe I got that all on video, that was incredible! You did that thing with the sword, and Dave like, break danced away! Then, Dave jumped up and it was like ‘WOOSH’! and your swords hit. I’m sorry Davebot, but that was definitely the coolest thing ever!!” He said, and Dave smirked.

“That’s fucking right Egbert.” He said, and John looked at him.

“Oh wait, did you get hurt Dave?” He asked, and Dave winced. While the physical injury wasn’t bad, that one hit right in the pride.

“I was, uh, hoping you wouldn’t see that.” He said truthfully, and John frowned.

“Why not? I don’t mind helping out, I’m kind of good with this sort of thing.” He said, dragging Dave back inside the Strider household. “You need a band aid.”

“I do not!” He said, looking back cautiously at his brother, who wasn’t making fun of him so far. Still, his expression was bemused, and it was enough to genuinely embarrass Dave.“Come on John, I’m fine.”

“You’ll be finer with a band aid.” He countered, and Dave frowned.

“I said I don’t need one.”

“Dave.” John said seriously, and Dave looked down at John. “You’re getting a band aid, no questions. Come on, let’s go find one.” He said, immediately going into the strider home. Dave sighed as he was dragged along, and eventually, John found what he was looking for.

“There, you found a Band-Aid. It’s my little pony too, even better. Can I have it, so I can put it on?” He asked, and John shook his head defiantly.

“Let me, it’s easier.”

“Egbert!” He said, and John responded a little playfully.

“Strider!” He said in the same tone, then looked at Dave’s clothing. “Now, lift your shirt a little, let me put this on.” He said, and Dave complied. Then, John’s breath caught in his throat and he learned something new. Namely, that Dave had some abs. They weren’t Alex Louis Armstrong level abdominals, of course, but they were firm and filled with muscle. John was startled when he realized he’d never seen them. Then again, Dave did wear mostly baggy clothing. His face got warmer, and he thanked his stars that Dave couldn’t see his blush. They were just so toned. The boy had to stop himself from running a hand over them, and at that point, he snapped out of his abdominal induced trance. John carefully applied the band-aid, and patted Dave on the back.

“You done, Egbert?” He asked, and John nodded, not trusting his voice. Dave dropped his shirt and stood nonchalantly. “Cool, thanks. I hope Dirk didn’t see. Now, I have to show you my turn tables.” He said, and John followed the boy upstairs. He swore he saw a glimpse of Dirk, and the man noticed him notice him. He smirked, and offered a very, very embarrassed John one thing: a thumbs up.

When they arrived upstairs, John saw Dave’s room full of a hodgepodge of interests, all centering around music, art, and strange, brightly colored dolls. Maybe they were stuffed animals, or something.

“What’s this?” John asked, picking up a smuppet. Dave froze, and turned around. His friend was scrutinizing one of those porn doll creations, and the vampire felt sick to the stomach.

“Nothing, it’s just a prank from a while ago. You can leave it on the floor.” He said, and John shrugged, then put it down. As he looked around some more, he saw Dave’s prized turn tables. John touched one shyly, noticing  DJ stuff.

“This is so cool.” John said, and Dave nodded enthusiastically.

“Hell yeah it is, I make my best mixes with this thing. Here, look at this.” He said, picking one said mix up. Immediately, he put the music on, and John found a mix between two normally heavy metal core songs to be some peaceful background music for their stay in Dave’s room.

“Nice!” He said truthfully, and it was. “What’s that?” He asked, pointing to Dave’s drawing tablet. Dave smirked.

“That, John Egbert, would be the creation hub of my creative genius comic, Sweet Bro and Hella Jeff.” He said, and John’s eyes widened.

“Woah, so this is where you made it all? That’s so cool! You know, this one guy that made a comic about bears got a TV show based on it.” He said, and Dave nodded.

“I know. Do you think it would be a good movie?” He asked, and John shrugged, then nodded.

“SBAHJ, The movie? That would be incredible.” He said honestly, and Dave smiled genuinely.

“Thanks, Egbert. I agree.” He said truthfully, and he sighed. “Do you think Karkat would want to act in it?” He asked, and a small smile hit John’s face. The two resided on Dave’s bed, but they weren’t facing eachother.

“I’m sure he would. Do you think He’d be sweet bro, or hella jeff?” He asked, and Dave shrugged.

“Maybe hella Jeff. But, consider the following: Teem Bro or team Jeff?” He asked, and a look of distaste hit John’s face.

“Eww, why would you do that?” He asked, and Dave shrugged.

“I am a vampire.” He said, and John paused.

“Wait, is that why you don’t have any mirrors?”

“We wouldn’t want to catch a guest off guard.” John picked up his cell phone.

“Would you come up on this?” He asked, and Dave shrugged.

“I think cell phones, yes, but normal cameras no. It’s weird.” He said, and John nodded.

“Yeah, it is, but that’s okay. So, how would you have told me you were a vampire, if I didn’t find out the way I did?” John asked, and Dave looked up.

“Hm, I don’t know. Maybe I would have done this-” He said, releasing a glow from his skin. “Or showed you these.” He said, pointing to his quickly growing fangs. John blinked.

“Woah, I didn’t know vampires could do that. Could they become bats too?” He asked, and Dave shrugged.

“Purebloods can’t, I don’t think so. I definitely can’t, and I’m pretty sure Karkat’s not able to either, so I don’t know.” He said, and John nodded.

“Oh, okay. So, theoretically, if you bit a bat, what would happen?” He asked, and Dave shrugged.

“I don’t know, they’d probably just say the same. My fangs are like straws. They transfer blood in and out.” He said, and John looked at him doubtfully.

“So, you could do a blood transfusion on someone?” He asked, and Dave moved his hand from side to side.

“Maybe, it depends. But, I stay away from biting people, vampires tend to get all hyped up when they get close to blood, and naturally, they want to suck. But really, you turn a person by pumping your blood in, you just have to suck some out first so they don’t explode or something. As a pureblood, my regular urges to do it aren’t as strong, but everyone else could be dangerous.” He responded. John cupped his chin.

“Have you ever turned someone into a vampire?” He asked, and elaborated. “I mean, with their permission.” Dave shook his head wildly.

“No, being a vampire sucks. Okay, that was a pun, but seriously. You get sunburn really easily, you come in like, one of two skin tones, and if someone finds out you’re usually toast.” He said truthfully. Eventually, they ended up in a theoretical vampire conversation, and after that they did their homework. It started getting late, and Dirk had to leave for work soon, therefore ending their hangout. Dirk dropped John back off at school next to his car, with the Dave robot sitting there too. They said their goodbyes, and John headed home.

That night, John looked over the control switches for the robot, and found the peculiar level T. He had his hammer, so he flipped to that level. John could always do the automatic shutdown. The robot didn’t seem to do anything different, but Dave’s sunglasses started glowing, and two circles of red light sat in the middle, like eyes. The robot seemed to look around for a second, and John felt his phone buzz with a notification.

He had a text from someone with an orange typing color. It was Turntech Testified, and John responded.

Turntech Testified (TT) began pestering Ecto Biologist (EB)

TT: John.

TT: Has someone explained me to you?

TT: I hope to fuck that he went through that explaining process for me.

EB: Oh, hi!

EB: Uh, sorry, but who are you?

TT: Damnit.

TT: Alright, well I’m right in front of you.

TT: Say hello to Davebot, Egbert.

TT: Because that’s me.

John paused, and looked up. The robot Dave seemed to be watching him, and John scooted back.

“Dave?” He asked, and changed his words. “Davebot?” He received no response. Then, he had an idea.

EB: Davebot, is that you?

TT: Well, considering that I literally just said that

TT: Yes, it’s me.

EB: That’s so weird

EB: How? Did Bro do this?

TT: You call him Bro?

TT: I’ll have to add that to my Database. But yeah, that asshole made me exist. I’m like Dave, in every way.

TT: Well, from the perspective of his surprisingly perceptive older sibling.

EB: Are you a vampire?

TT:…

TT: I don’t… think so.

TT: I can’t turn people, but I may have the teeth.

TT: I can track blood signatures.

EB: Woah, Roxy said humans couldn’t do that without special machines!

TT: Well guess what Egbert.

EB: Oh, right. I guess that’s what you are. This is so cool! So, do you just train with me?

TT: In basic mode, yes.

TT: But in level T, I can do whatever you want

EB: Okay, I have a request

TT: Go for it Egbert

TT: I don’t think I would say no even if I wasn’t designed to do this, so go.

EB: Can you smile?

John looked up at the robot, and the cold, resting ironic faced lips of the machine turned upwards into a smile. John smiled in response, then giggled to himself. This was so cool.

TT: Did you just giggle?

TT: Egbert it is not that weird

EB: No, I was just happy that you can smile. Are you... happy? Do you feel emotions, like Dave?

TT: I do.

TT: From an older brother’s perspective of Dave, I feel the emotions he feels, along with his emotions towards others. It’s weird.

EB: That’s okay!

EB: Oh, I wish my dad was here. He would think this was perfect.

TT: Why isn’t your dad here?

John frowned. He told Dave that his father was on a business trip this morning, Davebot should have known- wait. No, he didn’t. Of course, he wasn’t still being built this morning, nor did he have all of their memories. Apparently he had their years of conversation and IRL meetings down, but the rest? John would have to fill in the gaps.

EB: He’s on a business trip

EB: Which reminds me, I should call him. I’ll be back.

John moved to the dial button on his phone, then called his father, who picked up on the second ring.

“John!” He said, and John smiled warmly.

“Hi dad, how is your trip?” He asked, and his father spoke into the phone.

“It’s great, but I miss you. How was today?” He asked, and John smiled widely.

“You’ll never believe it! I saw the coolest things today. First, I saw one of Dave’s strifes! And, I saw-“He cut himself off. He couldn’t mention the robot. “I saw Dave’s room?” He finished, and his father’s smile appeared in his tone.

“That’s good John. Now, I hate to cut this short, but I have another call coming in. I’ll talk to you later.” He said, and John wished him a good night, then hung up. Davebot was standing there curiously, and he texted him.  

TT: You didn’t tell him about me?

EB: I haven’t told him about my hunter stuff yet

TT: Oh, okay. Well Egbert, today has been exciting, but don’t you need some sleep?

EB: Aww, I guess. Still, I want to stay up! This is really cool.

TT: Egbert, you’ve got to be alert for the real Dave. I’ll see you in the morning.

EB: Aww, man! I guess you’re right though, goodnight. :B

TT: You’re not making that face. But goodnight, John.

Turntech Testified (TT) ceased pestering Ecto Biologist (EB).

The robot proceeded to flip his own switch to power off mode, then sit in the corner and fall asleep. John crawled into bed, excited to tell Dave about this, but he could do it in the morning. Until then, John got some rest.

JAFNF Chapter 43

(Tuesday, January 27 th )

John woke up smelling food. He shut off his alarm clock groggily, then searched for his glasses. After all, he couldn’t see the time, but Dave would have woken him up if he was too late. Then, John woke up fully. Dave was on his mind, and his eyes immediately turned to the corner of the room, where Davebot was. Had he dreamt their whole encounter? No, that felt too real. So, where would the orange robot be? John hastily put some clothing on and readied himself for school, then walked down the stairs.

“Good morning, Johnny!” A female’s voice announced, and John was surprised to see Roxy standing at the stove.

“Oh, uh, hi Roxy.” He said, a little off put by her presence. His father wasn’t home right now, and John didn’t even know how she’d entered their house.

“I made breakfast. Would you like some?” John scratched the back of his head awkwardly.

“Oh, well sure. Not to be rude, but, uh, what are you doing here?” John asked nervously, remembering how last time she’d entered his home uninvited, he’d woken up attached to a chair. Roxy turned, placing a hand on her hip.

“Your father asked me to come in and make sure you were alright while he was gone, so he gave me a spare house key. Is that bad?” She asked, and John shook his head.

“Oh, no that’s great. Well, thanks Roxy.” He said, and the woman smiled.

“No prob, Johnny boy. Jake said Dirk gave you your training partner, have you tried it out yet?” She asked, and John shook his head.

“Well, we haven’t fought yet, but-” John stopped when the doorbell rang. “Oh, that’s Dave! Wait, I’ll get it.” He said, but before he could do so, a flash of orange passed by him and arrived at the door. Dave saw the door opening and smirked.

“Well, good morning Egbert, someone’s eager.” He said, without looking. When he received no response, Dave looked up, to see himself standing there too. He took a step back, confused. “What the fu-” He started, but Roxy, who came to investigate the strange scene at the door looked up.

“Johnny, why the hell is it Dave?” She asked, prompting Dave to look up in confusion. John felt his pocket vibrate a minute later, and he picked up the phone.

Turntech Testified (TT) began pestering Ecto Biologist (EB)

TT: Morning John.

TT: Don’t worry about it, I’ve got it.

“Oh.” John said, looking up. “Well, Dave, Roxy, meet Davebot. He texts/talks to me though my phone, and he’s also my training robot.” John said, and Dave looked annoyed.

“My brother made a sentient version of me, and gave him to you?” He asked, and John nodded.

“Basically. Everyone, say hello to Davebot.

“Hello Davebot, and Dave. This is weird, but I’ll roll with it if you will, Johnny.” Roxy said, and Dave shuddered. This was beyond weird for him. “Oh, Dave, would you like to come inside?” Roxy asked, and to John’s surprise, he shook his head.

“Actually, Roxy, I’m okay out here.” He said, and John noticed something was wrong.

“Are you sure Dave? It would be nice if you came in.” John said, and Dave took a wary glance at the Davebot, then looked at John.

“Man, I swear Egbert…” He said under his breath, then looked up. “Uh, thanks, I would love to.” He said, quickly stepping around the robot, which closed the door. John noticed he was on level T again, and offered him a smile before returning to his kitchen. They still had quite a few cakes, and Roxy found herself grabbing a slice of one, then offering Dave breakfast.

“I know it’s not Egbert baking, but it’s pretty good.” Roxy said, and John butted in.

“It’s better than that, thanks Roxy.” He said, and She shrugged.

“His words, not mine. Either way Dave, you should eat something.” She said, and Dave shook his head.

“I ate at home already, sorry Roxy.” Dave said, yet in truth he hadn’t eaten anything. Still, Davebot’s presence unnerved him. After all, it was an orange version of himself, and he interacted the same way Dave had with John years ago. His brother really should have asked him if making John’s robot this sentient was okay. Still, Dave recognized that Davebot opened the door so that John wouldn’t have to, an action that Dave surely would have done too.

Coming face to face with yourself was strange, and he really found himself wishing that Davebot didn’t exist. Not in a mean way, just because it was weird having other versions of yourself running around, reflecting your own actions and decisions back at you. From Dave’s perspective, Davebot was a way to let Dave see how others saw him, and Dave wasn’t sure he liked it.

He could tell the robot’s guard was down easily, and only because he was around John. Could other people see that too? Was it possible for others to exploit John, his greatest weakness and asset? He was horrified about how Davebot would interact with someone he wasn’t comfortable with, like John. Maybe he was taking his thoughts too far, John was giving him that look that meant he knew when something was wrong, even when Dave attempted to hide it.

Then again, Dave was finding it hard to hide things from John anyway, and he had to start fighting the strange urge to be completely honest with the boy. He trusted him, but he trusted Dirk too and it wasn’t like he was dying to spill his insecurities on to his older brother. So when Dave had to fight with himself not to share that daydream about his vampire reveal with John when he asked, Dave knew something was off. And, Davebot’s existence didn’t help things. No, if anything, he just made things over complicated.

“Dave?” John asked, and Dave snapped out of his thoughts. Had John been speaking? Speaking of that, was he standing up, and ready to go? When was John holding his backpack?

“Oh, yes? Sorry, I spaced out.”

“John was just saying that he was ready to go.” Roxy provided, and Dave nodded.

“Oh, thanks Roxy. Alright then, we should leave.” Dave said, then started to walk towards the door. John was looking down at his phone, and he immediately smiled. The boy texted some words back, and looked up in surprise when the robot hugged him. John hugged back, and then followed Dave out of the door. Once the door was closed, John saw Dave walk ahead of him. John noticed him walking faster than usual, instead of slowing down his long strides to match John’s face. John had to walk twice as fast, trying to keep up. The two walked in silence for a while, and John didn’t speak up until they were less than a minute away from the school.

“Dave, is something wrong?” He asked, and Dave sighed.

“No, nothing’s wrong Egbert. Let’s just.. go to school.” He said, and John paused. Dave just lied, again. They were at two lies already this morning, not a place he wanted to be before school.

“Dave, are you sure?” He asked, and John paused. “Is it me?” He asked, and Dave stopped dead in his tracks.

“What, No John. It’s not you, I’m just stressed, I guess.” Dave said, and John placed a hand on his shoulder, even though Dave was taller than him.

“Over what?” Dave let out a sigh. They didn’t really have time to have a complicated conversation about feelings. The two were already near John’s first period.

“Nothing. Look, I’ll talk to you later, okay?” He said, and John sighed.

“Alright. I’ll see you at lunch then.” John said, and Dave nodded noncommittally, then started to walk away. John panicked, and grabbed his hand. “Dave, wait!” He said, and Dave paused.

“Yeah, Egbert?” He asked, and John wrapped his arms around his friend.

“Have a good day at school.” He said, and John broke the hug and walked off before Dave could say anything. Dave looked back at John’s retreating form, and couldn’t help the grin that sat on his face. The blonde’s mouth spread wide, and Dave knew he couldn’t wait until lunch.

Finally, the awaited time arrived. John sat in the library, and Dave bounded over to him. He couldn’t wait to see John again, and he couldn’t get the boy out of his head.

“John!” He’d said loudly in the library, only to receive a pointed look from Dolorosa. “I mean, John!” He whisper- shouted. John broke into his toothy smile when his friend arrived.

“Hi Dave!” He said, greeting him happily. “So, did you have a good day, so far?” He asked, and Dave nodded.

“Thanks to you, Egbert. I feel great.” He said, and John sprang up.

“Oh, really? That’s great. Hey, wait, let me take a picture of the library!” He said, walking over to an area where he could get a fuller view. Dave looked at him quizzically, a little smile on his face.

“Why?” He asked, and John only responded by holding up his phone.

“Say cheese!” He said, fully capturing Dave in the image. Dave did a little thumbs up at the camera.

“Okay, what is this for?” He asked, and John smiled widely.

“It’s for Davebot! He wants to see school.” He said, and Dave’s voice fell flat.

“Oh.” He said, and John looked at his friend, putting the phone down.

“So, you want to tell me what was bugging you this morning?” He asked, and Dave responded with a shrug. John sat down atop a table, and invited Dave to do the same. He patted the spot on the table next to him, and Dave rolled his eyes, but sat. The library was empty anyway. Dave let out a sigh.

“I don’t know John, I guess it’s just Davebot.” He said, and John looked up.

“What about him?” He asked, and Dave laid his hands out.

“I don’t know, it’s stupid.”

“It’s clearly not if you’re upset over it.” Dave let out a sigh. He couldn’t argue.

“Well, it was weird seeing him interact with people, because he’s me.” Dave started, and John nodded along. “I mean, part of it is feeling like I could be replaced, but I know that’s stupid. I think it’s something else. Like, I see how he acts around you, like opening the door and hugging you, and, I don’t know, he just looks so not like how I usually portray myself. I’m a Strider, we have our guard up all the time. I’m cool and ironic and I don’t have any problems. I try to look like I don’t have to try at anything, but that’s not true! I have to try at everything, and I always thought everyone saw me in that cool, nonchalant version of me I tried to be. That’s the Dave you met, and that’s the one you were best friends with for years. So, I thought I would act that way.” Dave took a deep breath. 

“Then, I see how I act around you. Davebot puts his guard down immediately, and I guess that means I do the same. It’s not like that’s bad, it’s just concerning. I didn’t even notice that I put my guard down around you. That I… well, take my glasses off, if you will. But I do, and it’s so easy to see! Bro noticed it, I noticed it, and that means that everyone else has too.” He looked down.

“I guess, with years of hiding my eyes, I tried to hide myself from the world. You just bring out this part of me that I was always told to keep secret, and you do it without trying. I guess I’m just worried, about a lot of things. Like, if someone saw how I really was, how I am around you, would they like me, or respect me? And if people could tell how easily I caved around you, could they use me to hurt you, or vice versa? You saw that robot, it would do anything for you, and I would do the exact same thing. If we’re being honest here, I was terrified when I thought the hunters kidnapped you, and Dirk was too. He knew I would do anything to keep you safe, and I know that too. I just went for you, without caring about the consequences. And I know I would still do the same thing now.” Dave breathed again, and John was still listening attentively.

“I mean, I’m happy that there were no issues, and it was just a misunderstanding, but what if it wasn’t? What if you were really kidnapped, and I ran into danger, and just died? I know I would do it, and not regret it. That’s why I always work so hard to keep my guard up around everyone, and when I realized it was down, I just projected my fears onto the one that made me realize that. Does that even make sense?” He asked, and John looked up at Dave carefully.

“It does. It makes perfect sense, and I get why you would try to hide that part of yourself from everyone. I didn’t even know I was such a… liability, I guess. But-”

“Wait, John, stop. That came out wrong. You’re not a liability. You’re more than that, you’re like, my favorite part of my life, please don’t think of yourself that way. You’re so much more than that.” He said, and John nodded.

“I know Dave, thanks. But I understand what you’re saying. But I’m not going to let your trust in me hurt you. That’s not fair, and I can’t let that happen.” John said confidently, and Dave looked at his friend, his eyes widening in his rare moment of weakness.

“Really?” He asked, and John nodded.

“Dave, I promise, I won’t let anything hurt you. Not because of me.” John said, and Dave sighed, a little smile gracing his freckled face.

“Thanks, John. You’re the best friend ever.” He said, and the surge of happiness that John expected to hear at the words didn’t come. Still, he was glad Dave was okay, and he totally just checked off an emotional moment with his friend.

“So, are you still not a fan of Davebot?” He asked, and Dave shrugged.

“Eh, I guess rationalizing through it helped a little. He didn’t even do anything wrong anyway.”

“I can just use him for training, if it really bothers you. It’s just that he feels emotions, and I don’t want to hurt him, but I don’t want to make you uncomfortable either.” John said, and Dave patted him on the shoulder.

“No, don’t do that, just… I don’t know, it’s fine. Really, all he did was exist, and that’s a shitty reason to dislike someone.” Dave said, and John nodded.

“Alright, as long as you’re okay with it.” John said, and Dave was.

“Oh, okay, so I had a question. Why was Roxy at your house this morning?” He asked, and John shrugged.

“Well, my Dad asked her to come over and check on me while he’s out working. I think she likes getting to see me, but hopefully she does something other than sit around and be bored in my house all day. Maybe she hangs out with Davebot now, or something. I don’t know.” He said, and Dave raised an eyebrow.

“Your Dad just asked her to come over, and she did?” He asked, and John felt a little smile on his face.

“Yeah, she has this complicated thing with my Dad. I don’t think she knows how to feel about my Dad. They may be dating- I don’t know. Also, I think she may have been in love with my mom? I don’t even know if Rose knows about this stuff, but I’m not saying anything until they tell me.” He said, and Dave looked at John, slightly impressed.

“Oh, is that not weird for you? That’s a pretty mature way to handle things John, don’t most kids like, freak out about that?” He asked, and John shrugged.

“I don’t know. I guess it’s kind of weird, thinking that I could be related to Rose. But I’m sure we can cross that bridge when we get to it. I know Roxy really cares about me, and so does my Dad, so I’m okay with however things go.” He said honestly, then looked towards Dave. “What about you? Your teacher and brother are dating, is that not weird?” He asked, and Dave shrugged in response.

“I don’t know, I don’t really think about it, so long as I don’t have to call him Mr. Strider, I think I’m okay.” He said, and John giggled a little.

“Yeah, or calling Roxy Mrs. Egbert. I don’t know if I could adjust to calling her mom. I already call her by her first name.” He said, and Dave shuddered.

“Oh man, or calling Mr. English Dad. Could you imagine going to class, and saying ‘Hi Dad’, to your married in teacher? That would be weird.” John nodded.

“Oh man, so would Rose be, like, my aunt? I feel like that would be weird since she’d my age. I probably wouldn’t call her aunt Rose. And, if Rose and I got married, would it be illegal? And on your side, Jade would be your second cousin or something. So that would be different.” John rationalized. Dave shot him a little smirk.

“You’re telling me? Then, if we got married, then all four of us would be related, and you’d all be in laws, or something. Family relations are really fucking strange.” He said, and John nodded, offering him a little laugh.

“Then Mr. English would be like, my in law ish guy. Now that would be weird, and you would call him Dad, and… eurgh. I don’t want to think about it.” He said, touching his temples. “I think I got a headache or something.” Dave smirked, and was about to respond, but their conversations had taken them to the end of the bell, and the two finished out their day with weird thoughts of in laws and family relations on their minds.

JAFNF Chapter 44

(Tuesday, January 27 th )

Ecto Biologist (EB) Began pestering Turntech Testified (TT).

EB: Davebot! I’m home!

TT: I know, that’s good.

TT: Roxy left a while ago, but she told me to tell you hi and give you a hug for her.

EB: That’s nice of her. So, what did you do all day?

TT: Not much really. Your school seems pretty cool.

EB: It’s okay, I think Dave’s the only one that really makes being there worth it.

EB: So, thanks for making my day better, in an alternate you way.

TT: Haha Egbert, no problem.

TT: So, how was school?

EB: Oh, I had a heart to heart with Dave, and we got biology projects.

TT: Biology?

TT: Interesting.

EB: You like biology?

TT: And anatomy. I don’t know, I got kind of  interested.

EB: Dave hates science, so I guess you two are kind of different?

TT: Well, we both have the ability to pursue different interests.

TT: We’re just fundamentally the same.

EB: That’s cool, Davebot

EB: So, you’re like him but you’re not.

EB: So I get to befriend two Daves!

TT: We’re already friends. You’re kind of part of who Dave is.

EB: What do you mean? Dave lived life before me.

TT: Yes, but you’re the first person besides his brother he ever talked to. You’re his best friend. If you weren’t a part of his life, ergo my life, Dave would have been completely different.

EB: I’m really that important to you?

TT: John Egbert, you’re everything to me.

TT: My entire existence was made to serve you.

EB: Wow… thank you, Davebot. You’re the most important person to me too.

EB: Well, you and Dave.

EB: Because.. well, you know.

TT: Yeah.

TT: So, what did you talk about with Dave?

EB: We got into a conversation about in laws, and marriage and names and stuff. Like, with Roxy and my Dad and his brother.

TT: Wait, really?

EB: Uh.. yes?

TT: Wow. That’s unbelievable. Who started the conversation?

EB: Technically him. Why?

TT: He’s fucking obvious.

TT: Never mind, you’ll find out the shit when you need to.

TT: There’s a time and place for all the cool shit to go down in the universe, you know?

EB: I guess?

TT: Either way, shit will happen when it happens. Speaking of that, is there anything you want me to do?

EB: What do you mean?

EB: Do you want to do something other than just talking?

TT: I’m up for whatever you want. Literally.

EB: But… don’t you want anything?

John saw Davebot’s face curl into a frown, and his did the same. Did Davebot have dreams, or aspirations? Did he want to be something, or did he have a goal?

TT: I.. I don’t know.

TT: You should talk to the real Dave, he’ll have something better.

EB: Wait Davebot, no.

EB: Do you have dreams, or desires or goals?

TT: I.. I don’t know.

TT: John I don’t know!

EB: Wait, calm down. It’s okay, Davebot.

EB: Is that not a part of your programming?

TT: I.. I guess not. I don’t know, it’s not a big deal.

TT: Look, you have homework, right? You should probably do it.

EB: No wait

TT: I’ll leave you to it.

Turntech Testified (TT) ceased pestering Ecto Biologist (EB).

John looked up, only in time to see Davebot practically sprint to a corner and go into power off mode, or at least look that way. John sighed. He knew it would probably be best to give Davebot some time to think. After all, John had just triggered a want for more in life from a robot. Still, John wanted to help him through it, but he knew he may need some space too. Or, maybe Davebot didn’t want to hear it from him, because of his personal ties to John. Either way, he couldn’t personally intervene, for now.

__

Rose was practicing her violin when she received the text. She put down her instrument, having deemed herself proficient at playing the song, and picked up her phone. Strangely, she didn’t know anyone that spoke using orange text, so her surprise when she received a new pester was a validated one.

Turntech Testified (*DB) began pestering Tentacle therapist (TT).

DB: Hello, Rose.

DB: You don’t know me, but I’m not a stalker or whatever.

TT: I never implied that you were.

TT: As it is though, I would find it beneficial to know who you are.

TT: And, perhaps, your reason for contacting me?

DB: Oh, right.

DB: Well, you were always good at helping me deal with my emotional shit, so I thought you could help here.

DB: I’m Dave, sort of.

TT: While I would love to explore how it’s possible for someone to be ‘sort of’ Dave Strider, I’ll admit your ‘emotional shit’, as you’ve phrased it, beckons my interest.

TT: What seems to be the problem?

DB: Well, I suppose I’m having what you would call an identity crisis, but different.

DB: First, I think it would help for you to know that I’m Davebot, a robot designed by my, or Dave’s older brother to be a training companion for Dave.

TT: Alright, assuming that I believe you, why would he give you sentience?

TT: That seems morally questionable, at the least.

DB: I doubt Dave would want me to tell you, but you could say that I’m a personal helper of both Dave and John.

TT: Interesting. So, what seems to be the problem? Do you not like your role in everyone’s lives?

DB: Well, it’s not necessarily that.

DB: I just feel like, well, inadequate.

DB: Like today, John was talking about all these things he did with the real Dave, and what they wanted to do.

DB: I can’t do that. I’m programmed with desires, but not dreams or aspirations, or even goals, aside from the ones revolving around serving John.

DB: I can’t talk to him about this though, so I thought I would ask you.

DB: You’re good at rationalizing through this sort of thing.

TT: Thank you, Davebot.

TT: Well, I noticed that you refer to your human counterpart, Dave Strider, as ‘the real Dave’. Why?

DB: Because he is the real Dave.

TT: You’re acting like you’re not a real Dave.

DB:…

DB: Well, I’m not, right?

TT: And there lies the problem, Mr. strider.

TT: You’re viewing yourself as a lesser to your human counterpart, simply because you were fashioned after him, and not the other way around.

TT: Rest assured, you are a real Dave.

DB: See, there it is. You say that I’m ‘a’ real Dave, not the real Dave.

DB: We’re not equals.

TT: Why do you say that?

DB: He has a brain and a heart. I have programming. I’m not human, or a vampire. I’m just a tool, used to help unite two variables.

TT: No, the second you became sentient, you became more than just a tool.

TT: You are more than that. A simple tool doesn’t have emotions, or worries, or feelings.

TT: You have all of these.

TT: While you may not have goals, you have potential. Therefore, you’re not human or vampire, but you’re certainly not less than either of us.

DB: If I was human, I would want to do something with my life.

TT: Do you not want to do anything?

DB: Nothing besides being there for John.

TT: See, you have a purpose.

DB: I’m completely tied to someone else!

TT: So are knights.

TT: That doesn’t make them less human, just more devoted.

TT: Think of it this way. You have a desire, right? Would constantly just standing there and speaking to John really help him to become the best person possible?

TT: Wouldn’t being at your greatest potential help him too?

TT: And if so, does than not mean that you have to have dreams and aspirations to complete your task?

DB: I’m not sure.

TT: Your programming is adaptable. I doubt it’s as expansive as the human mind, but it can change, so long as it suits your task.

TT: At least, that’s what I gather.

TT: You can always find a loophole, Dave. You’re creative, even as a robot.

DB: I’ll think about it.

DB: And Rose?

DB: Thanks.

Turntech Testified (*DB) ceased pestering Tentacle therapist (TT).

Rose’s black lips curled upwards at Davebot’s last text. She certainly had some ethical questions for Jake’s boyfriend, but that could wait. Right now, she just wanted Davebot to be happy.

__

Jade sat at her garden filled home, and anxiously logged onto her computer. It was around the time Karkat got out of school, and Jade rubbed the sleep out of her eyes to talk to him. It was pretty late, or early in her case, but she didn’t mind. She loved the prospect of getting to talk to Karkat again, even if he was annoying. The two somehow managed to grow into quite an odd friendship after they went on their trip. It was strange, but Jade didn’t mind. Plus, she had to say that she did enjoy their banter. While Jade wasn’t at her wittiest at two (?) in the morning, Karkat wasn’t really sharp after a day’s worth of school.

When Karkat arrived at home, he found his brother yet again. The boy sighed. He didn’t have time for this. He had something more important to do.

“Welcome home, Karkat. How was your day?” He asked, and Karkat pushed past him.

“Fuck off asshole, I’m busy.” Kankrii practically dropped the pencil he was holding.

“What? How could you dare to be so triggering, even after a simple greeting? I simply asked about your day, and you decided to cram two trigger words into a five word phrase!” He said, and took a deep breath. Karkat knew what was coming, but he couldn’t deal with that year long speech about triggers. Not after the first time, when he’d practically begged for mercy by the end. Instead, he spoke up before his brother could speak.

“Uh, excuse me Kankri, but I find your speeches about triggering extremely triggering. Could you please not force me to undergo the emotional pain of being triggered, and instead allow me to return to my room? As I said before, I’m extremely busy.” Kankri paused, looking as if he’d been punched in the stomach.  He stopped speaking, unable to form any words. Karkat looked on anxiously. He’d never seen his brother so silent before. Just as he was starting to wonder who would have the skills required to fix a broken brother, he spoke up.

“Of course Karkat, I apologize.” He said simply, and Karkat nodded awkwardly and walked off. Crisis averted.

An hour of talking to Jade over Skype later, Karkat heard a faint knock on his door. He excused himself for a minute and muted the sound on his call.

“Yes?” He asked, and his older brother opened the door. Without realizing that Jade’s face was stil open on his laptop, Karkat leaned back towards his brother.

“Oh, Karkat. Hello. I would like to apologize for earlier.” He said, taking a seat on Karkat’s bed. “I never intended to trigger you- I understand that I can get quite passionate on the subject of, well, triggers. Please, if my words ever become too much for you, I beg you not to hesitate to ask me to stop.” He said, and Karkat nodded, his voice fee of his usual ‘trigger’ words.

“Okay Kankrii. And, I’m sorry about cursing at you today, I was just busy and wanted to get to my room. Uh, I’ll work on it.” He said, and Kankri nodded in understanding.

“I’ll do the same.” He said, and as he stood to get up, he saw Karkat’s backpack on the ground, looking untouched, save for the lack of a laptop inside. “Say, what were you so eager to complete? Your schoolwork isn’t out.” He said, and as Karkat struggled for an explanation, Kankri saw his screen. “Wait, Karkat, what’s on your computer?” He asked, and Karkat tried desperately to cover it.

“Uh, nothing Kankri! I was just.. uh..” His older brother looked over, noticing the skype call.

“Were you talking to girls instead of doing your homework, Karkat?” His older brother asked, and Karkat sighed.

“No, I wasn’t! Not like that! Fu- I mean, go away, Kankri!” He said, and his older sibling laughed.

“Oh no Karkat. I simply cannot allow you to get away with this. Who were you talking to? Turn on the sound, I want to see her.” He said, and Karkat practically wilted.

“Do I have to?” He asked, and Kankri smirked.

“Oh, I won’t force you to. Just know, if you don’t tell me now, I will tell father that we may have a new teenager attending church-” Karkat panicked.

“Oh no, please no. Anything but that. Fine, here goes.” He said, turning on the sound again. “I’m so sorry about this, by the way, Jade. Jade, this is Kankri Vantas, my nosy older brother. Kankri, this is Jade Harley.” He said, and Kankri’s eyes widened.

“Wait, Harley? Surely you couldn’t mean, Harley as in Jacob Harley, correct?” He asked, and Jade smiled.

“Oh, yes, he does. I’m his granddaughter.” Kankri almost pushed Karkat out of the way at that and looked at the girl through the screen.

“Wait, really? It’s an honor to meet you, Ms. Harley!” He said, and Jade waved it off.

“Oh, it’s nice to meet you too! But you don’t have to call me Ms., Jade is more than fine.” Karkat looked between his sibling and Jade, completely confused.

“Wait, time out. How do you know about Jade’s grandfather?” He asked, and Kankri’s eyes widened.

“You mean, The Jacob Harley? How could I not know about him! He was a revolutionary scientist, and started inventions on a multitude of things before his untimely death a few years ago. He became a multi billionaire, one of the richest people in the world, yet his whole company ceased operations once he died. The problem was something about an issue with a company heir. I wrote a speech about him once, and found myself amazed by his achievements. He was a great man!” He said, and Jade blushed a little in embarrassment at the praise.

“Yeah, Grandpa was pretty fantastic. And, that issue was me! He wanted me to take over, as his only remaining family, but I was too young for it when he passed. So, that’s what I’m doing when I turn eighteen.” She said, and Karkat’s eyes bulged.

“Jade, you never told me that!” He said, and Jade shrugged.

“It never came up.”

“You just aren’t well versed enough in technology, Karkat. I can’t believe I’m really talking to you!” He said, and Jade giggled.

“Well, it’s nice to talk to you too. I-” the girl paused, and yawned. “Oh, excuse me. It’s late over here, or early, I guess.” She said, and Kankri finally noticed her attire. She wore a mint green tank top with paw prints all over it, and looked more than ready for bed.

“Karkat, are you keeping Ms. Ha- er, Jade up late?”

“I don’t know, what time is it over there, Jade?” Karkat responded, and Jade looked at her computer.

“Hm.. Three. Oh, I thought it was earlier, sorry Karkat! I have lots of gardening to do today, can I talk to you later?” She asked, and Kankri jumped in.

“Of course! I’m so sorry about keeping you up, Jade. Please, get some rest.” He said, and Jade nodded sleepily.

“Okay,It was nice meeting you Mr. Vantas, and goodnight Karkat. I’ll see you later!”

“Have a good nap, Sleeping beauty.”

“I told you not to call me that!” She said, and Karkat smirked.

“I know, but the name stuck. Deal with it.” The girl gave him a somewhat irritated frown, and logged off. Kankri looked down towards his little brother.

“Karkat… did you just call Ms. Harley sleeping beauty?” He asked, and Karkat gulped. He was in for quite the conversation tonight.

__

*Okay, so in this part I renamed Davebot because their handles are both TT. So, just to clear up some confusion, I made him Davebot, DB

JAFNF Chapter 45

(Tuesday, January 27 th )

When Jake returned home that night, no one was there. He looked to the refrigerator that had two separate notes attached. The initials RL were on both. Jake picked up the first one, and looked at it.

Jakey, I’m at John and Jacob’s again! I’m staying there preety late tonight, gotta make sure John and Davebot are okay. I’ll catch you later, don’t start up a hunt without me! Have a good day at wark!

~Wonk, RL

PS: *Work.

Well, that explained everything he needed to know there. He didn’t know what she meant about Davebot being okay, but he went with it. Roxy was out with John, an occurrence that was no longer strange for her. He remembered how animated Roxy seemed to become whenever Jhn, or his father, would come up in conversation. He hadn’t asked where their relationships were, officially, but Jake knew those three would work it out. Jake moved on to the next note.

Mr. English, I’ve decided to go out with Kanaya and some of her friends today. I plan to have a sleepover with her, but I’ll let you know if I don’t by four. Don’t worry, I’m fine. I hope you had an exquisite day at work.

~RL

That settled everything, then. Jake looked at his briefcase, an item that was devoid of work, since he’d finished it at the school. It looked like he had the house to himself tonight, and that meant he could do whatever he wanted. The teacher felt a smile tear at his face, and he picked up his phone. He had a call to make.

Within an hour, Jake heard the doorbell ring. He made sure his hair was okay, and prayed his breath wasn’t too minty. Perfect. He opened the door, and put a smile on his face to mask the sounds of excited joy that so desperately wanted to leave his mouth.

“O-oh, what a surprise, Dirk!” He said, gesturing to the man at the door. Dirk raised an eyebrow.

“You called me and asked me to come over. But, it’s nice to see you too, babe.” Dirk said, and Jake felt his cheeks darken. He’d called him babe.  “So, are we going for a night in, or a night out?” He asked, and Jake looked back at his home. Well, he did already have a bowl of popcorn ready, and he had his entire collection of action, fantasy, and adventure films.

“Well, if you’re alright with it, I was hoping for a night in?” He asked, and Dirk stepped inside the house, offering him a smirk.

“I’m all yours.” Jake squeaked at that. He failed to prepare himself for Dirk Strider. No, he most definitely was not prepared for his flirting, his touching, and hopefully, his kissing.

“Well, good! I uh, wanted to know if you’ve seen  _ Avatar _ ?” He asked, and Dirk raised an eyebrow behind his glasses.

“You mean the one with the blue cat people?” He asked, and Jake looked a little put out that he’d heard of it. After all, that was what he wanted to play tonight. “Uh, not once. Why, do you have it? I’ve always wanted to see it.” Dirk said smoothly, and Jake puffed up again at that.

“By jiminy, you haven’t? Well, don’t worry old chap. Jake English has you covered! I’m quite the movie buff, and this may be one of my favorites!” He said, and immediately threw himself down on the couch. Dirk smiled at his admittedly cute enthusiasm. He sat down next to Jake, only to have his boyfriend spring up again. “Wait, I got popcorn!” He said, and dashed to the kitchen. Jake returned with a giant bowl, and the two settled into a comfortable position again. They started the movie, and Jake couldn’t help but offer little comments.

“Wait, what was her name again?”

“That’s the protagonist Dirk!”

“Sorry, I was distracted.” At that, Jake turned.

“The movie screen is right here, what else could you possibly have that distracts- oh.” He said, his face growing excessively warm. He quickly turned back to the movie. Eventually, the protagonists kissed, and Jake found himself leaning towards the screen. He still felt the emotional highs of the movie, and he was happy that they finally got together again. When he leaned back on the couch, he noticed Dirk’s arm.

While Jake was interested in the movie, Dirk was interested in Jake. And, more specifically, how he could get his arm around his boyfriend. Dirk wanted to ‘yawn’ and stretch his hand over, or actually do it, but there was a problem. He had butter on his hands, from the popcorn bowl he’d been crunching. And he couldn’t get a napkin without standing, so he didn’t know what to do. Eventually, Dirk just shook off his worries and tried to still hold Jake, while not getting butter on his body. When the movie finally ended, Jake leaned back contentedly, only to find himself partially enveloped in his boyfriend’s arm.

“So Dirk, did you like it?” He asked, and Dirk shrugged.

“It was okay. I’m still waiting for the climax.” He said, and Jake grinned.

“Well, Dirk, I’d say we ought to get to that.” He said, and Dirk found himself getting under his boyfriend. He pulled Jake down to him, and the two connected out the mouth. Jake clasped his hand, only to pull back from both the kiss and his goop-covered ligament. “Dirk, what’s on your hand?” He said, speaking in a high voice that he’d deny later. Dirk made a face.

“Butter. How much did you put on the popcorn, anyway?” Jake shrugged.

“I don’t know, it just came that way out of the package.” Dirk looked up at his boyfriend, his eyes half lidded.

“Well, I’ll help you clean up.” He said, picking up his boyfriend’s now butter covered fingers. “After all, I do love butterfingers.” He lifted the man’s hand to his mouth, and removed his tongue a little to suck the butter from his hands. He made contact, and Jake shuddered, then pulled back.

“Eugh, Dirk! Gross!” He said, and Dirk pouted a little, an action he later denied.

“What? I thought that was supposed to be hot!” He said, and Jake put his hands on his hips.

“Putting my unwashed fingers in your slimy, wet, saliva filled mouth is hot? Great gazdooks, what have you been watching?” He cried, scandalized. Dirk considered it, then made a face.

“Yeah, okay. You win there.” He said, and the two awkwardly detangled themselves to go to the sink and wash their hands. They returned to the couch, and Jake found himself on Dirk’s lap for attempt two. After the two made out for a solid ten minutes, Jake broke free again. “Geez Dirk, you should let a man have some air!”

“Sorry, but you should take a breath now. I can’t guarantee that you’ll be breathing again anytime soon.”

“You’re  rough.” Jake said haughtily, and Dirk smirked, removing his sunglasses.

“You love it.” He responded, and they rejoined lips again. Eventually, Dirk found his shirt off his body, and Jake’s glasses were already on the coffee table. Dirk looked up at his boyfriend. “You know, I’ve never seen you without your glasses on.” He said, and Jake peered down up at him, his green eyes meeting with the opposite orange ones.

“Do I look alright?” He asked, and Dirk rolled his eyes.

“No, you don’t look alright.” He said, extending his neck to kiss him, and then leaving him almost breathless. “You look absolutely fucking gorgeous, Jake.” Dirk chose that moment to push his knee into Jake’s covered groin, and Jake shuddered. He ran his hands over Dirk’s toned chest, then proceeded to move towards the man’s pants. As he undid the zipper, then put his hand underneath the protective clothing, Dirk hissed.

“You look good without yours too.” Jake said, and Dirk flashed him a shaky grin.

“Oh, I know.” He said, and Jake shoved him playfully.

“Sod off!” He said, and Dirk laughed.

“I love you.” He said, and Jake’s eyes widened, his heart beating faster, since this was really the first time either of them said it. Then, the corner of his mouth tilted up into a mischievous smirk.

“I know.” He said, and Dirk leaned in again.

\--------------

While Dirk and Jake got busy, John couldn’t help but do the same. Of course, he was doing homework, not... well, not that other thing. He eventually finished his work for the night, and walked out to find Roxy. He looked around for a while, until he found her in the family room. She was standing in front of Jane’s urn, and looking at her painted portrait.

“It’s been ages…” She murmured. John walked up behind her, and she turned around, startled, before realizing it was John. The woman sighed, then spoke. “Oh, John! Did you want something?” She asked, and John sat on the adjacent couch, staring at the picture of his mother, and the vase that contained her ashes.

“What was mom like?” John asked. His memories of her from his early childhood were shoddy, at best. Roxy turned fully towards John, and a little sigh escaped her lips.

“She was courageous, and brilliant and beautiful.” Roxy paused for a second. “Sometimes, you remind me of her so much. You have her eyes, and hair.” John looked between the picture and the woman standing under it.

“Really?” He asked, and Roxy nodded.

“John, can I tell you something about your mother?” she asked him, and John’s voice rose when he responded.

“Is it a secret?” He said excitably, and Roxy waved her hands for him to lower his voice.

“Yeah, it’s pretty much one. Even Jake doesn’t know this.” Roxy started, and John listened attentively. “It was graduation day, from our high school. Jake was away, and you were with your father at the time. He loved you a lot, and would hold you all the time. It was cute.”

Roxy could see it now- the caps thrown everywhere, the hot, black gowns on their bodies. Yes, she could clearly envision it. She remembered the heat of the sun, and having to stop herself from tripping over the fallen graduation caps on the ground. She remembered the white ribbons on their high school’s bleachers, and she remembered the empty, air-conditioned hallway that Jane had pulled her away to when they needed to talk. They were sitting against the lockers, and Roxy was peaceful.

“John, sometimes you sound just like her. Do you remember her?” She asked him. The question was rhetorical. “We were in our high school, about- wow, seventeen years ago.

“What’s up, my main Jane- from- down- the- lane?” In the fog of high school graduation, Roxy hadn’t noticed Jane’s serious expression. She was more than glad to graduate, and get out of her mom’s house. If the woman wasn’t drinking she was spending hours alone, and the behavior made Roxy grow to dislike her mother. She was there, but she wasn’t, and it made the blonde want to be better. The fact that Jane would be at her side as well was more than a bonus- it made the day that much sweeter. Roxy recently had a younger sibling, and after her rich mom had her second baby after getting drunk, Roxy wanted out.  So, today was a good day for all of them. Jane had yet to decide what she wanted to do with her life, and Jake would run off to college after summer ended.

“Roxy.” The young woman had asked, and the blonde looked up attentively.

“Yes?”

“I’m going to go for this baking thing. I know it won’t be easy, but I’m going to do this. I want to take this career path.” Roxy’s face broke into a grin at her friend’s determination.

“That’s fantastic Janey, if anyone can do it, it’s you.” Jane’s face tilted into a soft smile. It was a sad, knowing smile.

“I have a favor to ask you.” She’d said, and Roxy failed to notice that glint she’d had in her eyes. She couldn’t see how Jane’s demeanor was different, and far too serious for graduation day.

“Anything!”

“If anything happens to me, I need you to be there for John and Jacob.” Roxy looked confused.

“Janey, what are you talking about? You’re going to be fine. Don’t worry about it, I know you can do this!” She said, falsely thinking that this was just some easily resolved stress around her future. Jane nodded a little, but she didn’t look at ease.

“Roxy, please tell me you’ll be there for them.”  Roxy made eye contact when she answered.

“Of course.” Jane nodded, and her shoulders relaxed. She stood, then offered Roxy a hand.

“Thank you, Roxy.” She said, and Roxy sat there, waiting to take her friend’s hand.

“You’re wonderful.” The words slipped out in response, and Roxy wanted to take them back. Her friend was clearly heterosexual, and she didn’t want accidental flirting to ruin their moment. Instead of addressing it, Jane just laughed softly, and offered Roxy a smile. She took her hand, and just as she wanted to stand, the memory dissipated.

John was standing there, listening to Roxy’s story of her promise to Jane Crocker. Roxy didn’t notice that her lashes had gotten wet until a tear rolled down her face.  She hugged herself on the couch as she spoke.

“And now, I’m here, and she’s not. I wonder if this is what she meant… or if she always knew why she’d die. I wonder if that was why we had that conversation, and if I’m doing what she wanted. Almost dating her husband, sitting in her house, making her son a vampire hunter? I just have so many questions, and I may not ever get an answer.” Roxy paused, then sighed. “What would she think of me now?” She asked, and though the question was yet again rhetorical, John wrapped his arms around her.

“Well, I think you’re pretty great.” He said, and at that point, more tears fell down her face. She closed her eyes, trying to make the pain go away. Roxy had already received closure and revenge, so why was she crying about this now? John could not answer that question, but he held her until the pain left, for now.

Eventually, the boy took her up to his room. He picked up his magic chest, then did a scarf trick for her. Roxy was surprised, and eventually, John goaded her into wearing the line of scarves around her neck. After he dove back into his chest, Roxy noticed his copy of Colonial Sassacere, and when she told him it was Jane’s, John begged Roxy for a story. She eventually complied, and she posed dramatically with the book as she retold its tale. Eventually, she and John walked off to do different things, and John was just happy he could keep a smile on her face.

__

In case you were wondering, that second scene was completely based on the Steven Universe episode Rose’s Scabbard. So, if you wanted a visual of that scene, check that out. I had the music in my head, and I could totally picture a montage of those two doing things like that. Also, Jane appeared, and I love Janey to death.

AND AS FOR THE FIRST SCENE… lol that got away from me, I don’t even know. But every time I look back at it I grin, so it’s staying. I guess this story is rated T!

JAFNF Chapter 46

(Friday, February 8 th )

A few weeks passed, and John’s dad was still not present at their home. Roxy came periodically, and John found her sleeping on the couch a multitude of times. At some points, he’d offered her his father’s bed, but she always declined. Eventually, John would goad her to use the guest room, and she eventually complied. His testing with Dirk and Davebot went well, and John was happy that everything seemed to be working out for him, so far.

“I’m home!” John called, and Davebot greeted him. John resisted the urge to pick up his phone, as he was used to doing. “Hi, Davebot!” He said, and Davebot’s newly installed voice box allowed him to respond.

“Welcome home John, it’s nice to see you. How was school?” He asked, and John responded jovially.

“It’s good! How are your implants going?” John was referencing something Davebot had been excited about for a while now. John wasn’t sure about the details, and Davebot seemed to be intent on keeping it a secret, but he said he was getting some extensions on his back. Davebot smiled.

“Fantastic, it’s going to be so fucking cool. Since I can’t do shit in public, I figured this would work instead.” John brightened at that.

“Oh yeah, speaking of doing stuff in public, I was wondering something! Could Equius come see you, with Dirk?” Davebot frowned, and his eyes went dark for a second.

“Equius isn’t in my database. Who, or what is that?” He asked, and John’s smile widened.

“Oh, he’s a person I know at school, and he’s really interested in you! He thinks you’re really cool, even though he hasn’t met you.” Davebot smirked.

“Everybody thinks that, John.” John offered him a small smile.

“I sure do.” Davebot turned away from him for a second.

“Why wouldn’t you, I’m awesome!”

“Yes, you are. But about the Equius thing?” He asked, and he shrugged.

“I’ll ask Dirk about it.” He said, and John nodded.

“Fair enough. Do you want to meet my dad, when he comes home? I know we can’t explain much yet, but still.” John said, and Davebot nodded.

“Meet the parents, huh Egbert? Aren’t we moving a little quick?” He asked, a smirk on his face. John looked confused for a second, before he realized what he was insinuating.

“Oh whatever Davebot.” John said, his ears burning a little. Dave turned, elbowing him in the side.

“I’m only joking, John.  But I would love to, really. Your dad sounds nice.”

“He is! I think he’ll like you. He likes Dave.” John said, and Davebot responded.

“Oh, so he already has parental approval? Well that’s a start. So, what does your Dad think of Dave?” He asked, and John sat down on his steps, prompting Davebot to assume the same position. John thought about it.

“I know he really likes him. He said-” John cut himself off with a laugh, and Davebot leaned forward curiously.

“What did he say?” John looked at him.

“He said we act like a couple. I guess he doesn’t really see us interact that often, but when we did we were being close. Weird, Right?” He asked, and Davebot was quiet for a second. “… Davebot?” Davebot looked up at him.

“No offense John, but not really.” John looked at him quizzically.

“Really? Well, I don’t think Dave would ever consider something like that. He’s so like, obviously straight.” John said, and Davebot looked at him.

“Really? How do you know?” John put a hand behind his head.

“Well, literally every girl in my school likes him. I mean, why wouldn’t they? But still, he’s just like that.”

“But he still doesn’t have a girlfriend.”

“And risk her finding out about his vampire stuff? No way. He wouldn’t do that.” John said, and Davebot shrugged.

“Alright, what if he was bisexual?”

“That doesn’t automatically mean me. We’re, like, best friends. I know him well, I think I would realize if he liked me, like that.” John said, and Davebot couldn’t help but refute.

“You wouldn’t know unless he knew it himself. I mean, if I were him, which I’m not, but if I were I would be open to it.” Davebot said nonchalantly, and John’s entire face got warm.

“You’d like me? Like that?” John asked, and Davebot hesitated.

“My feelings were programmed into me, from his older brother. I don’t think my feelings would align with his.” Davebot said, and he stood, starting to walk up the stairs. “Just think about it.”John stopped him.

“Wait, Davebot, you never answered my question.” John said, and before Davebot could respond, John heard their loud garage door open. “Oh wait, it’s Dad! Come on, let’s go say hi! Roxy, Dad’s home!” He shouted, and Roxy came from upstairs. She was wearing workout clothing, but John doubted his father would mind.

“Oh, really? Alright, new mission. Distract him for a little kiddo, and I’ll put on something better.” Roxy said, and John saluted.

“Yes maam!” He said, then walked down the stairs. John opened the door to the garage, and was delighted to see his father’s car. “Dad, welcome back!” John said, and his father got up, then waved.

“John, hi! I missed  you!” He said, walking out of the car. His hat was askew on his head, and he opened his arms, only to have John run into them.

“Dad, I missed you too!” He said, and his father wrapped his arms around him. After their hug, John’s father stopped stooping towards his son and decided to stand.

“So, is Roxy here?” He asked, and John bounced up.

“Oh, yeah she is, but I have someone I wanted you to meet!” He said, leading his father inside. John picked up his father’s briefcase, and the man followed him. As he went to go show off Davebot, Roxy found herself standing in the doorway.

“Oh Jacob, welcome back. How was your trip?” She asked, and the man shrugged.

“I’m glad to be back. Thanks for taking care of John while I was out.” He said, and Roxy smiled.

“Oh, it was no trouble. I enjoyed getting to see him some more. Actually, I’d like to talk to you about it, but not after you just got back. We had, uh, a new houseguest come over. He-” John interrupted her.

“Shoosh, Roxy! It’s a surprise!” He said, and Roxy blinked, but smiled.

“Oh, right. Well then, I’ll let you two figure that out.” She said.

“Houseguest?”

“You’ll meet him inside, Dad!” John proceeded to walk in, and John cupped his hands around his mouth. Before he could even utter the first syllable of Davebot’s name, the robot came.

“Hello, Mr. Egbert. Welcome back.” John’s father froze. Was this orange, walking, talking Dave talking to him?

“Oh.. uh.. thank you? John, who is this?” He asked, and John smiled.

“It’s Davebot!” John said, and he explained more. “He’s a robot version of Dave built by Bro, Dave’s older brother.” John’s father blinked.

“…Why?” He asked, and John looked towards Roxy nervously. “Uh-”

“Mr. Egbert, my primary objective would be better explained by my older brother, Dirk. I think it would be better for you to ask him, he designed me. But I am a training robot.” The robot said, and John’s father nodded in a little understanding.

“Oh, right. Well, welcome to the Egbert household, I suppose. It’s nice to meet you Davebot.” He said, and Davebot smiled.

“It’s nice to meet you too, sir.” He said, then turned to John. “Also, John. You have quite a lot of homework to complete, right? I know you haven’t finished any of it.” John pouted.

“But Davebot, Dad just got home!” He said, and Roxy crossed her arms.

“That doesn’t mean you don’t have to finish it, Johnny boy. Go do your work.” She said too, and John sighed.

“Fiiine. And Davebot, you still didn’t answer my question.”

“We can talk later.”

“Once I’m done.” He said, and Davebot shrugged.

“Fine.” He responded, and John marched up the stairs.

Later that night, John was finished with his homework. He asked Davebot to join him in his room, and he did.

“So, Davebot.” John said, looking at the metal creation. He couldn’t help but notice how human like his face was in feeling and structure. Really, the only thing that was different was the color, and the fact that his metal felt a little cool to the touch. The robot looked up attentively.

“Yes, John?” He asked, and John sighed.

“Do you really like me? Like that?” John asked, a weird feeling in his stomach. Davebot sighed. He didn’t look like he wanted to have this conversation any more than John, but he still did.

“Yes.” He said simply, and John looked at him, a little surprised. “Before you make conclusions, I don’t know if Dave feels the same.”

“How would he not?” Davebot put a hand on his chin.

“Well, his relationship with you exists with an entirely different set of principles. It’s possible, even if we were meant to be the same person.”

“How?” He asked, and the robot shrugged.

“Well, think about it this way. You said he hates science, but I love it, right? I like it because I’m a robot. The ideas of human anatomy, how it can be thousands of times more complicated, yet still simpler than mine, and function. It’s fascinating to me.” John nodded thoughtfully.

“Alright, I understand that, but what about in regards to me?”

“I am a robot designed to be there for your every need. My creation happened because of you, and right now you’re the only person I really know. How could I not?” He asked and John looked down. It made sense. Still, he didn’t know how to feel about this. He liked Davebot, sure, but the idea of him being in love with him felt odd in John’s stomach.

“I see.” He said, and Davebot stood.

“I can tell you have a lot to think about. Don’t worry about me, John. I’m just a copy of him anyway, I wouldn’t be able to give you what you’re looking for. Goodnight.” He said, going to the corner of his room. He looked like he was about to deactivate, but John couldn’t let him do that. He was a man of action, and he needed to act, quickly.

“Wait, Davebot don’t!” He started to say, moving towards the robot. Still, Davebot seemed intent on turning off for the night, but John was determined too. He ended up grabbing Davebot, and, not knowing what else would keep him up, John mashed his lips onto his.

Immediately, Davebot sprung awake, and did a situational analysis. John Egbert was kissing him? No, that wasn’t according to plan, at all. The selfish part of him didn’t care. Fuck, the selfish part of him was happy! But his programming told him he needed to remove John from himself. The robot’s insides warred with themselves, and eventually, both his mind and his body reached a compromise.

While his idea wasn’t the greatest plan, it could work to his advantage, and expedite his mission. Plus, he had John, for the time being. So, instead of powering off, Davebot turned on fully again, and wrapped his arms around John. He kissed back, and John’s eyes shot open.

Shit, what had John done? The idea was for John to keep Davebot with him, and on. So, why was John continuing? Maybe it was that it felt comfortable. While Davebot’s metal was cool, he’d somehow managed to heat himself. Maybe it was the fact that John’s lips were tingling, or that he hadn’t kissed anyone like that in a while. Maybe it was the fact that this was Davebot, and Davebot loved him, in whatever convoluted strange way he did. Maybe John just didn’t mind, or didn’t know what to do. So, the two kissed, and eventually let go.

“Davebot?” He asked, and Davebot was silent. “Davebot, say something.” He said, and a smile broke out on the robot’s face.

“John. I- Thank you.” He said, and the robot honestly didn’t know what to say, or how John would respond. “I think I’m going to sleep now, because we both have a lot to think about.” He said, and John nodded shakily. What had he done?

“Right. We can, um, talk in the morning.” John said, and Davebot nodded.

“Okay then, we will. I’ll see you then.” John got into bed, then saw Davebot walk towards him. He placed his unusually soft, for metal anyway, lips on John’s forehead, then proceded to slowly power off. John blushed had, and Davebot gave him a soft smile.

“Goodnight, John.”

“Goodnight, Davebot.” They really did have a lot to think about now.

_________________________________________________________-----------------------

(Saturday, February 9 th .)

The next morning, John woke up before his alarm clock. He couldn’t sleep, so he decided that he’d just get ready now, hoping he wouldn’t awaken Davebot. Davebot stayed powered off, and John headed downstairs. He saw Roxy and his father in the kitchen. They worked, making breakfast in sync. The two would pause every few moments, and smile at each other, before getting back to work again.

“Roxy, you should sit down. Trust me, I’ve got this. I can do this before John wakes up, and you can relax.”

“No way, Jacob, I’m helping weather you like it or not.”

“At least take a minute to sit down.”

“Only if you sit first.” She said smugly, and to his surprise, John’s father shrugged.

“Alright Ms. Lalonde, if you insist.” He said, gesturing to a chair covered with a towel from somewhere in the kitchen. “Please, ladies first.” He said, and Roxy huffed.

“Hm, Ladies first, but a gentleman does what a lady wants.” She said, and Jacob raised an eyebrow charismatically.

“Alright Roxanne, if you insist.” He said, sitting down beside the covered chair. Roxy sat down too, and as her butt hit the seat, a somewhat loud fart sound resounded through the kitchen. Both John and Jacob looked at Roxy’s face, and Roxy’s cheeks started to turn pink.

“Jacob!” She said, and Jacob’s father could hold in his glee at the successful prank no longer. The man burst into laughter, and Roxy shook her head. She looked at him, crossing her arms.

“Ha Ha, very funny.” She deadpanned, and Jacob chocked out more words between his laughter.

“It really is! Your face- you weren’t even expecting it!” Jacob said, and Roxy couldn’t fight the little smile that grew on her face.

“Are you done yet?” She asked, and John could tell she was only pretending to be annoyed at this point. He continued for a while, and Roxy just stared at him, trying to remove any trace of enjoyment from being pranked form on her face. John’s eyes widened when he realized he hadn’t heard his father really laugh. At least, he hadn’t since his mom died.  Finally, his laughter subsided.

“You know you liked it.” He said, and Roxy didn’t argue.

“Where did you even get that?” She asked him in response. The man shrugged.

“I may own a trick shop or two. Other people manage it, but I started a business a while back. I thought this would be a good one.” Roxy’s eyebrows creased, and John looked surprised from his hidden position too. While he’d never known what his father did for a living, he couldn’t believe his father owned such an interesting business, especially considering his own interest in magic.

“Which one?” She asked, and John’s dad put his hands in his pockets.

“Oh, a little place called Egby’s trick shop. Have you heard of it?” He asked, and Roxy gasped.

“Wait, you own that? That place is amazing! They have like everything there- wait, why Egby’s though, for the name?” she asked, and John’s father shrugged.

“I don’t know, Egbert sounded too long. So, I went for Egby’s instead.” He said nonchalantly, and Roxy looked like she was flipping her marbles.

“Is it because John’s into magic?”Roxy asked, and Jacob made a faint sound of surprise.

“He is? I didn’t know that!” They continued talking and John stared at the two, almost enviously. He wished his romance life was as easy as theirs. After all, they clearly cared for each other, and the lines of fate seemed obvious for them, from John’s perspective. John couldn’t say the same for himself, especially regarding Davebot, and what it would mean for Dave. Even worse, there was no one he could really talk to about an issue like this, and he frankly didn’t know what he’d say, even if he could. Still, it was the weekend. He could take this time to think, before school came back to pressure him again. As John slipped away from the kitchen, a determined frown hit his face. That was exactly what he would do.

__________--

JAFNF Chapter 47

(Saturday, February 9 th .)

Later that Saturday, John officially woke up. He found Davebot’s glowing eyes over him. John decided to return to bed earlier that day, and he was surprised when Davebot woke him up.

“Hey Egbert, it’s morning.” He said, moving a little farther away from him. He looked up, and gave him a tired smile.

“Hi, Davebot. You ready for training?” He asked, and Davebot smirked at him.

“Well, I’m as ready as I’ll ever be to be hit by that hammer of yours, John.” John cracked a grin.

“Me too.” He said, and when Davebot pressed his lips to John’s forehead, he blushed, then sat up. “Oh, right… yeah.” He said, and Davebot raised a lazy eyebrow at him.

“Don’t tell me you forgot yesterday, Egdork.” John pouted.

“I just woke up. Don’t judge me.” He said, and Davebot shrugged.

“We can talk about it later. But for now, I think your parents have breakfast waiting for you.”

“Oh, Roxy’s not actually my mom.” John said, thinking about the smiling woman with the dark black lips and blonde hair. He definitely loved her, but genetically or martially, she technically lacked the legal prestige to become his mother.

“You sure about that?” He asked, and John shrugged in response. After all, John thought it would be cool if she was. Roxy really did care about him, and John felt the same way.

“Maybe she will be, or something like it. I don’t know.” John said, and eventually he stood up, and left the comfort of his bed. Davebot helped him out, and John smiled. “Oh, thanks Davebot. You’re really nice.” John said, and Davebot shrugged off the compliment.

“I do what I can, considering that I live for you.” He said, and John couldn’t help the warmth that spread on his cheeks from that statement. Eventually, John made his way downstairs, then ended up in front of Roxy, who served the breakfast his father cooked.

“Good morning, M-Roxy!” John corrected himself, and Roxy greeted him brightly.

“Morning John, and Davebot. You guys ready for today?” She asked, and John sat up excitedly.

“No kidding! I want to try something different with my hammer today. Is level six okay?” He asked Davebot, who whistled.

“Wow Egbert, you’re really kicking it up a notch today, are you sure? I won’t be in control.” He said, and John nodded. Roxy ruffled his hair affectionately.

“Nice going John, you’ll be at level ten in no time. Oh, and Dirk wanted to do a review on Davebot, so you’ll be visiting Dave’s house today. John nodded. He understood. In truth, he was a little nervous about seeing Dave, but still more than happy to meet up with his friend again after school. Davebot powered himself down for the car ride, and when he arrived at the park for training, John put him on level six. Dirk waved at all of them, and they got started rather quickly.

John turned Davebot right on level six, then started to go for his head. While his glowing eyes were shut off, Davebot somehow kept the smirk on his face while he fought. John hit him on the head and on his sides, then sprang back. Davebot tried to attack him, but John slid under him and poped up with his hammer, shooting the robot upwards. John loved his Davebot, because his body was a lot more humane than the rest, but it was still regenerative. John could gauge how much damage he would really do on a person, and so far he wasn’t disappointed. Still, he had four levels to go, and once he’d beaten Davebot on level six a few times, he moved up to level seven.

John blinked, and in the second he did that, his robot disappeared. He was confused. Why had he disappeared? Suddenly, he heard a whooshing sound, and had to jump out of the way of a sword strike. So, that’s what this was- another training maneuver. The boy immediately looked for anything that would help him see Davebot, and he caught a flash of his red eyes. While it wasn’t much, John could work with it for now. He dodged, swung and jumped even more now, and once, when he beat him, John saw his body flicker on before he regenerated. He was worried for a second, but he realized that Davebot was fine, and continued their dangerous exchange of Jabs and hits.

After their session, John had some time to catch up with Rose, and they decided that they would hang out sometime during the coming week. She seemed impressed with John’s defeat of Davebot’s cloaking mode, and John felt the same way about her prowess with her magic spell shooting needle things. Eventually, John loaded both himself and Davebot into Dirk’s car, and they drove towards the Strider home. Instead of playing music as usual, Dirk kept the music low.

“So John, how’s it going with Dave?” Dirk asked him, and John shrugged.

“I think we’re okay, Bro.” John responded, and a goofy smile hit John’s face. “Oh, will Dave be there?” He asked, and Dirk laughed a little at his enthusiasm.

“Yes, Dave’s pretty excited to see you. But, before you two hang out, you have to stay for my check up of Davebot. Oh, speaking of Davebot, I know you haven’t turned him up to level ten yet, so this probably isn’t a problem. Still, I have to warn you. Please don’t turn him up to level T.” Dirk said, and John sputtered.

“Wait, what?” John froze. “I wasn’t supposed to do that?” He asked, and Dirk looked away from the road for a second, panicked.

“How long has he been on level T? Have you talked to him? Do you know about his upgrades?” He asked, and Dirk slapped himself on the forehead. “Oh no, of course that’s why he asked for a voice box. John, please tell me that you only did it, like, once.”

“He’s on level T every day and we talk all the time. But, he said he was keeping his upgrades a secret.” Dirk let out a long exhale.

“Shit. We need to get home, now.” Dirk said, and John couldn’t help but agree. “What did he say his main objective was?” Dirk asked, and John shrugged.

“He said he was there to help me train. Why, is there more?” John asked, and Dirk shook his head.

“No, that’s all he needs to do.” Eventually, they reached their house. “Oh no, how do we get him out?” Dirk asked, and John flipped his switch to level T.

“Uh, Davebot? Can you get out, we’re at Dave and Dirk’s house.” He said, and the robot rolled his glowing eyes.

“Your wish is my command, Egdork.” He said, and John opened the door for him, only for the robot to step out into the garage. Dirk looked surprised.

“He calls you nicknames? Shit, does Dave know?” He asked, and John shrugged.

“Yeah, pretty much. I think he’s okay with it.” John said, and Dirk nodded.

“Right, well come downstairs with Davebot. I can get a better analysis that way.” He said, and opened the door leading to the inside of their home. Dave stood from the couch, looking eagerly for John’s face. He saw him, and suddenly, both the orange version of himself and his older brother were irrelevant.

“Sup, John?” Dave asked, and John perked up.

“Dave, hi! It’s nice to see you again.” Dave walked up to his friend, offering him a hug. John melted into the hug, enjoying his warmth. Eventually, the hug broke up, and Dave noticed the scratch on his friend’s cheek.

“So, how was training?” He inquired thoughtfully, and John shrugged.

“I went to level seven today, even though I thought I would stop at level six.” He said, and Dave ruffled his hair affectionately. John had to wonder why so many people enjoyed doing that to him, but soaked in Dave’s praise nonetheless.

“Nice job, John. So, after you do my brother’s thing, can we hang out?” He asked, and John grinned.

“Sure! He said he needed me in the basement this time though, so I guess I’ll see you after that?” He asked, and Dave nodded.

“Sounds like a plan, dork. See you then!” He said, and Davebot materialized behind John.

“You ready to go, John-Tron?” He asked him. John jumped up in surprise, then relaxed when he realized who had appeared behind him.

“Your wish is my command, Davebot!” He said, offering him an over exaggerated bow. Davebot rolled his glowing eyes in his shades, then smirked at his playfulness.

“Hey, that’s my line.” He said, and then changed his voice to sound like the genie from  _ Aladdin _ . “Your wish.. is my command!” He said, perfectly imitating the voice. John laughed, and that was the last thing Dave heard before the door to the basement swung closed. Dave couldn’t help the frown that settled on his face, and Dirk saw this, and tried to act nonchalant.

“See you later, Dave.” He said, and disappeared downstairs. Dirk definitely wanted to have a talk with Davebot, but only after he reviewed his data.

Ten minutes and a full review later, Dirk determined that Davebot was okay for power levels, and he could soon get the upgrade he wanted. John was ready to go upstairs and hang out with Dave, but Dirk looked at one specific moment of data. Also known as the moment when Davebot confessed his devotion for John, and the few minutes later when John kissed the robot before he went inactive again.

“John, I’m going to need you to step outside for a moment while I, uh, speak with Davebot. Is that alright?” He asked, and John flashed him a grin.

“Sure Bro!” He said, and immediately stepped outside. Once Dirk thought John was far enough away, he turned towards Davebot.

“What the fuck did you do? Don’t think I didn’t see that shit you were pulling with John in front of Dave today.” Dirk said, his voice sounding angry. Davebot spun around on the little circular examination stool he sat on.

“He asked me a question, I told him the truth.” Davebot said, his voice sounding completely apathetic.

“Why? We both know why I made you, so why are you getting in the way of your own programming goals?” He asked, and Davebot shrugged.

“I’m not getting in the way of anything, I’m helping.”

“He kissed you! I know Dave doesn’t know, but what do you think it would do to him if he did? Why aren’t you following your core objectives?” He asked, and Davebot rolled his glowing eyes.

“What, be a wingman? I am helping. To be honest, I didn’t expect him to do that. I tried to power off, he woke me back up.” Dirk looked at him suspiciously.

“That’s bullshit. You would have made better decisions, I programmed you to make better decisions! Don’t tell me that you honestly thought that after you confessed your undying love to him, or whatever, he wouldn’t act on it. I know you’re my little brother, but you’re programmed too! You can’t honestly tell me that you thought a batshit decision like that was in their best interest.”

“I thought he would act on it, but not towards me!” Davebot argued. Dirk sighed.

“Look, fine. If the kiss really wasn’t what you were going for, I can believe that, I guess. But you can’t explain how you acted with John today. Are you just flaunting yourself now, just to make Dave feel bad? You know, as a wing man for John to Dave and vice versa, you’re doing a shitty job. You were supposed to make him fall in love with Dave, not you.” He said, and Davebot put his hands up.

“Calm down asshole, I can explain that too. Yes, I’m flaunting that almost relationship thing we have. It’s bait. Dave’s going to get jealous, and eventually he’s going to realize that yes, he’s jealous over his friend. He’ll try to get with John, John gets with Dave, and boom, we’re all good.” The robot explained, and Dirk frowned.

“I get your idea, but I don’t think you can go through with it.” He said, and Davebot looked confused.

“Why?”

“You left yourself out of the equation, and like it or not, you’ve inserted yourself in here.” Dirk said, and sighed. “Look, I know I made you love him. I thought it would help you want to do what’s best for him, but instead it just evoked a strange, humane side of you, something that could hurt this plan. I’m sorry, okay? I didn’t think that would happen when I programmed you. I didn’t think you could be… selfish. That was my mistake, and I can see you’re paying the price for it.”

“Dirk, I already know this. I can make sure he loves Dave. It will work. I can’t deviate from my primary objective, even if I want to.” Davebot said, and Dirk shook his head.

“What about you? What will you do? At this point, you’re going to be fighting over someone with yourself, while simultaneously handing him over, and you know you won’t win. Will you be able to do that? That’s a shit ton of heartbreak, even in a non literal sense.” He asked, and Davebot sighed.

“I’ll have to. After all, isn’t that the point? Wanting what’s best for someone else, even at your own expense? ” He said, and Dirk looked down at his controls.

“Not… necessarily. At least, it doesn’t have to involve hurting you. I can remove it, the love I programmed in you for John. You won’t have to deal with losing him, and he’ll still be happy.” Dirk said, and Davebot immediately refused.

“No. Never, I can’t. I can’t just stop loving him, he’s everything to me.” Davebot said, and sighed. “I want him to be happy, even if I deal with that. Just… let me have him, for now. After all, this whole human spectrum of emotions was built around that. If you removed that, I would just be a machine.” Davebot paused. “I want to be more than that. I know that’s what I am, but I feel like I’m set apart somehow, and that I can be more. Maybe that’s stupid, but can you blame me?” He asked, and Dirk sighed. He couldn’t blame him.

If Dirk was being honest, he was almost terrified with himself. When he realized that he could program emotions into emotionless things, he was excited. The man didn’t think about the consequences. Why would he? He was doing things people hadn’t done before, and that was exciting. That was revolutionary! He was proud of himself. Still, Dirk definitely wasn’t the best person to deal with situations like this. For all of his engineering prowess, he was absolute shit with emotions. So, Dirk couldn’t comprehend why he thought tampering with his younger sibling’s love life was a good idea, because it clearly was not.

Dirk really was only trying to help, but at the same time, he knew he did the wrong thing. Maybe, if this was a Dirk robot he’d made, it would have been okay. But it wasn’t a carbon copy of him, it was a copy of his little brother. It was a copy of Dave, a boy who put his emotions first and not his logic, unlike Dirk.  The idea of combining his brother’s headstrong emotions with a robot that needed to follow its logic was an insane one. How would that benefit anyone? Dirk never really considered the robot when he was building it.

He thought he learned his lesson when he was thirteen, after he’d built an auto responder for himself. The thing went through an identity crisis, when everyone referred to him as a being less than Dirk. And he was, but making him conscious of that was a horrible mistake that only ended in everyone being less happy. His auto-responder ended up deactivating himself permanently, and Dirk remembered not sleeping for days when he thought about the moral implications of those actions.

Yet here he was again, doing the same thing once more and continuing to hurt his creations. Davebot excused himself to go see John again, and Dirk couldn’t help but feel guilty. He’d made another mistake, and he didn’t know how to fix it. In truth, Dirk knew he was overstepping some moral code. Maybe all those people with doubts about artificial intelligence were right about boundaries. Maybe they were right, and there were just things humans shouldn’t do. Maybe they lacked the capacity to do things like this.

Dirk shook his head. He wasn’t up for getting into the logistics of creation yet. He had a much more pertinent problem to solve right now. Still, what could he do? The engineer looked towards his desk, then frowned. An idea appeared, but he couldn’t be hasty about this one. No, he had to think this out, not just act on a whim like he’d done with Davebot. Maybe he couldn’t undo what he’d done, but that didn’t mean he couldn’t fix it. And that meant he had some calls to make, and some thinking to do.

___

JAFNF Chapter 48

AN: Wow guys, we’re almost at 50 chapters. Insane, huh?

(Saturday, February 9 th .)

John and Davebot returned upstairs, and Dave stood up from what he was doing to greet them.

“John, did everything go okay?” Dave asked, and John nodded.

“I think so. Anyway, what are we doing today?” He asked, and both Davebot and Dave spoke at the same time.

“Videogames?” They offered, and John blinked, feeling a little uneasy.

“Is that okay?” Dave asked, and John nodded at him affirmatively. The trio went up another layer in the house to go play. Dave only had two controllers, so they ended up having to rotate out. They started with Dave and John playing, and Dave rose up as the victor. Next, John got to play against Davebot, and Dave found himself staring at the two. He couldn’t help but notice John scoot in closer to Davebot, or notice how Davebot’s eyes were on John the entire time. He didn’t even need to look at the screen to win, so Dave was surprised when he was equal with John until the last minute, when he swooped in and won. Dave’s passive expression faded into a frown, and he was a little upset that they had to rotate out this way. He reasoned that he just wanted more time at the controller, and he was about to have it.

“Alright , good game Davebot, now you and Dave can play.” John said, and Dave looked up.

“Oh, it’s cool if you want to go again Egbert, I don’t mind waiting.” He said, and Davbot spoke up too.

“No, I just went. It would be fairer if I switched out, he can have my controller.” Davebot countered, and Dave frowned.

“I really don’t mind waiting Egbert, it’s okay.” Dave said, and Davebot frowned now too.

“He can take mine.” He said, and Dave frowned.

“He’s already sitting there, he should just keep playing!”

“But you-”

“Guys?” John asked, and they both looked up attentively.

“Yes John?” They asked, speaking in harmony again. Dave shuddered. That was weird.

“I think it’s fairer if I just take my turn out, alright?” He asked, and Dave crossed his arms. “Plus, now you two can play!” He said brightly, and Davebot sighed.

“Alright Dave, let’s see if you can beat me.” Dave grabbed the controller from John.

“Oh please, you know I can.” Davebot smirked.

“Don’t bet on it.”

“Why, because you know you’d lose?”

“If you really want to, you can. Just don’t be sorry.”

“Alright, winner gets the controller for the rest of today.” John wanted to protest, but the metallic orange robot and Dave were already into their bet. John sat down, excited to see what would happen. He really did want to see what would happen in a smash match between the two, and he was glad the two seemed to be enjoying themselves, sort of.

“Deal, Dave. You can kiss your precious John goodbye. Now, I already know I’ll win, so you can decide the stock values and stuff.” He said, and Dave smirked.

“You sure Davebot?” he asked, and Davebot looked at him challengingly.

“Unless you’re scared.”

“Alright then, you asked for it. We do a five minute match. Lowest score wins.” He said, and both John and Davebot were surprised.

“What? Can you even do that?” John asked, and Dave smirked back at him.

“I just did. You still up to the challenge?” Davebot nodded.

“Hell fucking yes.”

“Alright, let’s play.” Dave chose Link, and Davebot chose a random one. When they entered the match, he ended up with Lucas, and their game started. Dave immediately jumped into lava, and received a minus one. Davebot did the same, then tried prohibiting Dave from dying. Their buttons made clicking sounds, and eventually, items began to fall from the side. Davebot fell on a bumper that kicked him off the platform, but Dave fell under him, pushing him back up while simultaneously killing himself. Eventually, they reached the point where 30 seconds were left, and John didn’t even know who was winning, at that point. He wanted both of his friends to win (lose?), and he found himself getting into their match. They had ten seconds left and Dave got a smash ball, causing him to pause the match as he used it and die again. The match ended, and Lucas won, which meant Davebot lost their bet.

“Haha, I win!” Dave shouted, and John stood, offering him a high five. Davebot looked disappointed at his loss, and John turned to him.

“You did great too, Davebot! You technically won!” John tried to reassure him, and Davebot shrugged.

“Eh, that’s true, I guess. You two have fun then, I’m going to shut down.” He said, and John moved towards Davebot.

“Wait, you don’t have to do that! We can still all hang out, right? I’m having fun.” John said, but Davebot shook his head.

“Nah, you two have fun. I’ll see you when you need to go, John.” He said, and Davebot offered John a hug. John hugged back, and Dave could have sworn Davebot pressed a kiss into John’s hair. Dave crossed his arms, looking away from their tender hug, and Davbot powered off. John practically floated back over to Dave once again, and looked at him.

“Do you want to do another round?” He asked, and Dave shrugged.

“I’m cool with whatever, Egdork.” He said, and the two continued playing. Dave was being oddly unresponsive, and eventually John  paused their match. “Why did you pause?” He asked, and John sighed.

“What’s wrong, Dave? Does Davebot still upset you?” He asked, and Dave shrugged.

“I don’t know. I mean, I’m not still worried about that thing from before. But I still feel weird around him. Does that make sense?”

“That makes perfect sense, Dave. Should we hang out downstairs, or something?” He asked, and Dave shrugged.

“No, I’m okay with whatever. I don’t know, I’m just feeling weird.” He said, and John understood.

“Alright, well, if anything makes you uncomfortable, let me know.” John said, and he couldn’t help but think about what Davebot said a while ago. How would Dave even react if he knew about how Davebot felt? John wanted to ask, but that still seemed a little personal, and he was sure spouting Davebot’s feelings at Dave wasn’t an appropriate move. Still, John was curious. He still didn’t know where he stood on the subject, or why he decided to kiss a robot. John wasn’t sure if it was a mistake or what, but he wished he could vent about it to someone. Dave wasn’t an option, and neither was Davebot. They were the only two people close to him that really got what was going on. John sighed. He’d find an advice source later. For now, he just hung out with Dave, and hoped everything was okay.

John had to return home later that day, and Dirk drove him back. When he arrived in front of his house, he was surprised to see his father welcome him inside, and even more so when his father rushed to go see Dirk’s truck. He stood at the window of his car, and apparently, he was introducing himself. The two parental figures talked for a few minutes, and then his car pulled away.

“Dad, what about Davebot? Is he not coming home?” John asked, and John’s father shook his head.

“No, Dirk’s adding some upgrades, or something he wanted. Anyway, how was your time with Roxy?” He asked, leading his son inside. John shrugged.

“It was okay, I did more today than I thought I would.” He said, and John’s father clapped him on the shoulder.

“Good, I’m proud of you John.”

“Thanks Dad.” He said, and his father closed the door behind him. John saw yet another slice of cake sitting on the counter top, waiting for him. Roxy sat on the couch too, her legs folded.

“Would you, uh, like a slice of cake John?” His father offered, and John sighed.

“I’m okay Dad, did you want to talk about something?” John asked, and Roxy laughed from her position on the couch.

“He’s onto your methods, Jacob.” John’s father rubbed his neck awkwardly.

“Right, noted. But yes, we should probably talk.” He said, and John took a seat on the couch across from them. “So, John. I know you know Roxy well, but before we make any big decisions, we thought we should get your opinion on it first.” His father spoke more, and Roxy let out an exaggerated sigh.

“Geez Jacob, this is so boring. We should just get to the point- I want to date your dad, and we’re wondering how you feel about it. There, I said it.” Roxy added in, and Jacob looked at her, scandalized.

“Roxanne, I planned this!”

“You planned it wrong. But John, how do you feel about it?” She asked, and John blinked, then shrugged.

“I’m okay with that. I mean, good for you two.” John said, and Jacob spoke up, not believing that the conversation went so smoothly.

“Are there any questions you have, or concerns?” He asked him and John nodded, his voice going a little timid.

“Oh, uh, yes. Just one thing… am I going to have to call you mom, Roxy?” John asked, and put his hand over his mouth. “And should I stop calling you your first name?” Roxy shared a bemused expression with Jacob, and he shrugged.

“You can say whatever feels comfortable. I’m really okay with whatever Johnny, as long as you’re cool with it too.” John brightened at that. He wasn’t good with forced name transitions, and he was happy that he wouldn’t have to drop everything and start calling her his mom now.

“Alright, great. Good talk, unless there was something else?” He asked, and his father looked at Roxy. He mouthed something about waiting, and Roxy shook her head. His father sighed.

“Yes, there was, uh, one more thing John. You don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to, but we really did want to know something.” He said, and John looked up attentively. “What… what exactly is your relationship with Davebot?” He asked, and John froze. Oh shit.

“Uh... complicated?” He tried, and John let out a sigh. “I mean, I don’t know yet. It’s really, really complicated.” John said, and his father nodded.

“Alright, I understand that. If you don’t mind, I’m still curious though. How do you feel about him?” His father asked. “And how does he feel about you?” John wilted at the question. He was hoping to avoid that one.

“Well, I don’t know how to feel about him. He’s Dave, but he’s not, and Dave is my best friend.” John said truthfully. “But for him, he said he… kind of… loves me? I mean, he said it was programmed into him, and it’s because I’m the only person he knows and stuff but yeah.” John responded, feeling a little uncomfortable. What was he supposed to say, in a situation like this?

“Alright John.”  His father said, and John winced. “That’s okay, I get it if you need time to figure out your stuff. But I would encourage you, from, er, personal experience-” He said, pausing to glance at Roxy. “You should talk to someone about it. It doesn’t have to be us, but you really should talk about this, okay?” He asked, and John nodded.

“Okay, I will.” He said, and Roxy couldn’t help but break in.

“And be sure to tell him no, if he tries to do stuff, Johnny!” Roxy said, and both Egbert’s faces got warm.

“Roxanne!” his father whined, and the woman laughed a little.

“I’m only teasing Johnny. Sorry for embarrassing you, you can go now.” John paused, then nodded quickly and ran away.

“Oh, right. Well, uh, bye thanks for the talk got to go bye.” He said, and ran away in a flash.  He practically flew upstairs, and when he returned to his room, he sighed. Gob, his parents were so awkward. Still, John decided that he’d take their advice and pulled out his phone.

Ecto Biologist (EB) began pestering Carcino Geneticist (CG).

EB: Hi, Karkat!

EB: Uh, I was wondering if you wanted to hang out sometime?

CG: OH, HEY JOHN

CG: UH, I HAVE A CHURCH THING TOMORROW, BUT IS NEXT WEEKEND OKAY?

EB: Yeah, sure!

CG: IN ALL HONESTY, I WOULD LIKE TO GET SOME STUFF OFF MY MIND.

CG: AND YOU WOULD GIVE BETTER ADVICE THAN SOLLUX.

CG: ANYONE WOULD GIVE BETTER ADVICE THAN HIM.

EB: Haha Karkat, thank you (I think?)

EB: I really would like a feelings jam.

EB: Your house or mine?

CG: I DON’T CARE WHERE.

EB: You’ve been spending too much time with Dave.

EB: You rhymed.

CG: THAT WASN’T EVEN ON PURPOSE!

EB: Exactly. See, the rapping virus spreads, and you don’t even know it.

EB: You’ll be throwing down sick fires before you even knew what hit you.

CG: EGBERT, I FUCKING SWEAR I CAN’T RIGHT NOW.

EB: You can’t swear, and Dolorosa isn’t there?

EB: I guess you better get on your knees…. And do a prayer.

EB: Oh no, it’s spreading!

CG: EGBERT. I SWEAR TO THE DIETIES OF ALL LONG LOST ALIEN CIVILIZATIONS, I WILL FUCKING THRSHECUTE YOU WITH MY SICKLES OF JUSTICE IF YOU EVER ATTEMPT TO SPEW THIS MUSICAL GARBAGE RAP AT ME THROUGH TEXT, OR ANY OTHER MEDIUM.

EB: Alright, calm down Karkat, I’m just joking.

CG: SO, IT YOUR HOUSE OR MINE?

EB: I don’t care!

EB: Actually wait, I have a roommate.

EB: Is your house okay?

CG: YEAH, THAT WOULD BE FINE.

CG: SO, I’LL SEE YOU MONDAY, AND WE’LL HANG OUT FRIDAY.

EB: Sounds good!

CG: OKAY, SORRY, BUT I CAN’T STAY AND CHAT.

EB: Gotta Blast, Karkat?

CG: NEVER, EVER SAY THAT AGAIN.

CG: ALSO.

CG: PCHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.

EB: haha

Carcino Geneticist (CG) Ceased pestering Ecto Biologist (EB).

_

Yaay, chapter 48. Chapter. 48. Wow. I mean, wow. I expected this to be like 20 chapters, tops. Gosh, I may just turn this part into a sequel and cut it off after that one arc. Wow guys, this sure is long. Golly.

JAFNF Chapter 49

AN: I wrote this while listening to the volume 9 soundtrack on band camp. I will never not love Moonsetter, ((I could listen to that on repeat for hours, it makes me so happy.)) and there were a ton of good songs! If you like instrumentals, you simply must check out Homestuck’s band camp. They have all of the Homestuck songs, some of which are really good for reminiscing certain moments.  It can make you CRY. Alright, now onto what you’re really here for!

(Friday, February 15 th )

__

John’s long awaited Friday came. He still never really talked to Davebot about kissing him. The robot was far too excited about something else- namely, the fantastic attachments Dirk used to upgrade him. Those attachments were, of course, wings. He could fly at some super fast speed, and still look cool. The only downside was the fact that he had to give up a hobby he enjoyed. The hobby consisted of adorning human clothing onto his body. While pants still worked, he could no longer wear top of body items. John spent a somewhat alarming amount of time trying to figure out how to solve this problem, and he planned to unveil his solution once he left Karkat’s house that evening.

Speaking of which, he saw Karkat in English’s biology room, and waved to him. It just so happened that Dave had other plans that evening, so he didn’t need to feel bad about essentially spending some time apart. Of course, that only made him think more- Did he and Dave spend too much time together, for friends? John never thought so, but he did actively try to see, talk to, and hang out with Dave on a daily basis. From their morning/ afternoon walks to their constant visits to each other’s homes, maybe they did really spend too much time attached at the hip. Figuratively, of course.

Would Dave mind an attachment elsewhere? Like somewhere on the face, maybe in the mouth- No. No, that was why John wanted his discussion with Karkat. Feelings just slowly evolved to become more and more complicated. As his feelings changed, John only grew more confused. The boy shook his head. Right now, he needed to focus on what didn’t make him confused. He had to focus on school for now, and vampire boys and robot doubles could come after.

Well, it was time for what came after. His cool teacher dismissed him, offering the boy an arbitrary reminder about the next day’s training, and John started to exit the room with Karkat in tow. Dave caught him on his way out, and John stopped to talk to him.

“So you’re going to Terezi’s? Well, have fun, Dave!” John said, and Dave offered John a lazy smirk.

“Hm, I’d have more fun if you were there, but you two look busy. I’ll catch you on pesterchum or something, have a good weekend!” He said, and John couldn’t help the way his cheeks got warmer.

“Oh, yes. I- I mean, we will! See you later Dave!” John said, and Dave started walking away. He offered John and Karkat one last wave before he turned a corner, and the boy disappeared. John let out a breath he didn’t know he held, and Karkat let out a little whistle as they neared his car.

“Jeez Egbert, it looks like your feelings jam is going to be intense. So, whose are we starting with- me or yours?”

“Yours, mine is a little complicated.” John said, and Dave’s toothed smirk flashed in his head. “A lot complicated, actually.” He said, and Karkat shrugged.

“Fine. We’re watching mean girls and eating ice cream though.” John gasped, scandalized.

“Excuse me?”

“You’ll like it.”

The pair eventually arrived at Karkat’s home again, and while his older brother’s absence didn’t surprise Karkat, his father’s presence certainly did.”Oh, Hi… Dad.” Karkat said, and John looked up at the admittedly tall adult. The man looked down at both Karkat and John, and offered the two a smile.

“Hello, welcome home Karkat, and it seems like you’ve brought a friend. Who-” The man paused, getting a better look at John. “Hold on, I’ve met you, right?” He asked, and John nodded a little. It was true, he did meet the man at one point in his life. It may have happened years ago, but he still did. While Mr. Vantas’s stature appeared imposing, his demeanor was kind.

“Yes, I’m-” The man cut him off frantically.

“Hold on, don’t tell me! Hmm.” He said, inspecting John. Karkat looked like he wanted to die on the spot, and John just felt awkward. “Why, I would know those blue eyes anywhere. You’re Jane’s son, right?” He asked, and John nodded.

“Yes, that’s me.”

“I saw you at the funeral. You were just, what, seven? You’ve grown tall, Mr. Egbert.”

“Oh, thank you Mr. Vantas.” He said a little timidly, and Karkat’s father laughed.

“Of course, it’s true. Say, how is Ro-Lal doing?” He asked, and John’s eyebrows folded.

“Who is-”

“Roxanne Lalonde, John. How is Roxy doing?” He asked, and John rubbed his hand a little awkwardly. This guy really did act imposing too, just in a kind way. Even though he did enjoy interrupting sentences, John decided that he liked Karkat’s dad.

“She’s doing well.” The man laughed.

“Still as lively as ever, I presume?” He asked, and John thought back to when she’d teased him about Davebot, and her training.

“Oh, definitely.” John said, speaking the first words that came to his mind. Karkat’s father laughed. It wasn’t small or quiet. No, his laugh sounded like a lumberjack’s, the kind that could bounce off the walls of a church building and make it sound like everyone was laughing with him. John liked it.

“Well, I’m sure you and my son want to do something other than hear the tales of some old preacher like me. Hop to it, and let me know if you’re sleeping over!” The man said, and Karkat took that as a cue to dash for his room. John followed him, after nodding and dismissing himself form Karkat’s dad. When John entered Karkat’s room, the vampire let out a sigh this time.

“Sorry about all that, I didn’t know my dad knew your mom. Or you.” Karkat said, and John laughed a little nervously.

“Yeah, neither did I. He seems nice though.” Karkat rolled his eyes.

“He’s a fucking saint.” John decided not to go for an easy pun, and instead put his things down, then sat in one of Karkat’s beanbag chairs. He leaned into it, getting comfortable, and started up what was sure to be an intense feelings jam.

“So Karkat, what’s on your mind?” He asked carefully, and Karkat gave him a little smirk.

“Oh, school, work, schoolwork, the usual.” John offered him a little glare in response.

“I mean, why did you need this feelings jam Karkat? What can this jam do for you?”

“Help me figure out my complicated feelings.” Karkat responded cheekily, and John leaned forward, then rolled his eyes.

“Okay Karkat, you’re asking for it. Who do… you… LIIIKE? I mean, like like Karkat. Lay down your romance vibes. We can play truth or dare, or do each other’s makeup. Pretty pleeease?” He asked, blinking his eyelashes hard. Karkat saw the face he made and laughed.

“Alright, alright, John. You win, we can get to our jam now, no need to hurry. But in regards to that, seriously? I don’t know.” John looked at him with an eyebrow raised. “No, really! I mean, I have a guess. It’s just confusing, because it started out weird.” John nodded at him, urging him to continue. “At first, we hated each other. And when I say hated, I mean despised. Every single time we interacted, on pesterchum or in public, we hated it.”

Karkat had to make sure John was still following him. They weren’t even in the confusing part of it yet, but Karkat still felt weird about it.

“Then, after that trip we spent trying to find you, we ended up getting closer. Now, I guess we sort of banter at each other? She says something somewhat mean, I say something that pisses her off, and yet we still end up enjoying each other’s conversations? It’s like, I don’t know, I can be mean and she gets it, in a way. That probably doesn’t make sense.” John shook his head.

“No, it makes perfect sense. It’s like, she can call you an A hole, but you can laugh at it, right? You guys are sparring with each other, but verbally. I bet you two are like total opposites, personality wise, and yet you both change around each other. You act different than usual around her, and vice versa is true.” John said, and Karkat blinked, but nodded.

“Actually, yes. Geez John, I don’t know why they say Rose is the good analyzer around here, you kind of just rationalized my entire situation.” Karkat praised, and John waved his hand down in modesty.

“Nah, it’s just a friend thing. Rose is like a therapist, she works for everyone, including herself. I can barely get my head around my own situation, but yours first.”

“Right, okay. So what do you think, and what should I do?” John thought about his next words for a second, then spoke.

“Well, here’s the thing. If you feel this confused, messy, and awkward around her, she probably feels the same way. So, I say suggest- well, what do you want? Do you like her, like that? Would you date her, if you could?” John asked, and Karkat let out a long exhale.

“I think so. I feel like I can be myself, without worrying that I’ll hurt her feelings. But I still feel like I will end up upsetting her, for real, and I won’t know what to do. It’s like you said- we’re sparring, but that’s so close to actually fighting that I don’t know if I can stop when I need to.” Karkat said, emitting a sigh. John thought about it.

“Okay, well you guys are metaphorically sparring. But the difference between that and fighting is safety measures, right? I know you can only use certain percentages of your power in some sparring, and in others you have boundaries. Both of them are already agreed on before the metaphorical sparring match. All you have to do is have a set of boundaries with each other that you won’t break, and you should be fine.” John said, and Karkat nodded at the idea.

“Well, alright, but how do I figure out when to stop? It’s not like there’s an official guidebook.” Karkat said, continuing their running metaphor. John raised an eyebrow at him.

“People write the rulebooks, Karkat. You just have to ask if there’s anything that she really isn’t okay with jokes about, and there you have it. Then you can date spar to your heart’s content.” John let the words sink in for a minute, and Karkat took in the advice.

“Hm, Egbert, good idea. Alright, thanks.” He said, taking a deep breath. “Now, before we switch roles, I’m getting ice cream.”

“Oh no, please don’t tell me that we’re actually-”

“Yes we are and you cannot stop me. You can join me, or be salty. Which one?” He asked teasingly, and John turned his back to him.

“I want no part of your girly high school drama sleepover stuff, Karkat. In the least offensive way possible- dude, that’s really gay.” John said, determined to ignore any trace of Mean Girls in his life. The less said about that chick flick, the better. Karkat put on a playfully disappointed tone to deliver his next line.

“Oh John, look at you. You had all of the flavors, yet you still choose to be salty.” He said teasingly, and John couldn’t help but turn to face him at that. That burn, so precisely placed and well delivered, it broke John.

“That’s it, I’m getting some too. I am not salty!” He announced, and Karkat jumped up in victory.

“Like it or not Egbert, I just succeeded. So, I’m getting the vanilla, and you’re getting the movie watching experience of a lifetime. This is arguably one of the best films of all time-”

“Mean girls?!” John screeched indignantly. “I can name over ten movies that all did better than Mean Girls.” Karkat gasped and pointed at the boy.

“Blasphemo!” He shouted, and the two exited his room. They had both a fun and horrific night ahead of them, and John intended to enjoy zero seconds of it.

__________________--

JAFNF Chapter 50

AN: And there’s chapter 50. Wow, right?

(Friday, February 15 th )

“What? Why?” Karkat asked, and John let out a sigh.

“Karkat, I’m not reacting to mean girls for you.” Karkat crossed his arms.

“I heard you the first time, I’m just asking why!” He said, and John frowned.

“Well, I’m not doing it because… we don’t have enough time! Yes, that’s why, I’ll probably get picked up before the movie ends.”

“Then stay the night. My dad kind of invited you anyway.” John put a hand over his chin in thought.

“What do I get if I do the challenge?” John asked, and Karkat wagged his finger in a tsk motion.

“Ah, ah Egbert. If you win the challenge, then you get to know the name of the girl I was talking about earlier.” Karkat said, and John rolled his eyes.

“That’s stupid, I’m going to find out eventually anyway.” Karkat shrugged.

“Sooner rather than later?” The challenge that these two were so avidly discussing was, in fact, related to Mean Girls. After thoroughly dissing the movie, Karkat asked if John would be able to not laugh at any of the humor or feel upset at any of the sadder scenes. John, of course, said that the only thing this movie could make him feel was pain- and that was how the challenge began. Still, the idea of filming it felt weird to John. He wasn’t necessarily opposed, but he couldn’t deny crying if it was on video. John had a tendency to cry in sad parts of movies, and laugh loudly at the funnier scenes, so this challenge would be hard. Still, that girl’s name sounded like a pretty sweet deal.

“Alright, but what do I lose if I fail?” Karkat’s fingers cupped his chin, and a devilish smirk appeared on his face.

“You sign everything- school papers, tests, whatever, for the next week as ‘John Egbert, the one who loves mean girls.’” Karkat suggested, and John shuddered.

“That would be horrible.”

“I know. So, do we have a deal?” He asked, and John shrugged. It wasn’t as if he’d like it anyway.

“Deal. I hope you’re ready to reveal that name.”

“Not to you, the one who loves mean girls.” John started off pretty confidently, and by the truth/ trust jump scene, Karkat was getting worried. Then, he heard it. A little bubble of a laugh came from John’s mouth, and it was right after one of the funnier parts. John whipped his head towards Karkat nervously, hoping he could deny it. Karkat smirked, then pointed to the camera.

“Aww, man. That wasn’t even that funny!”

“Shoosh, the one who loves mean girls. Since you lost, just try to enjoy it.” Karkat said, and a frown appeared on John’s face. He would not enjoy it.

“Don’t have sex, because you will get pregnant and die!” No, he didn’t laugh at that. He didn’t laugh at all, no matter what the camera says. Nor would he ever laugh at the probability of a person being hit by a bus, or how this comically didn’t reflect what he came to know as a typical American high school. No, he didn’t appreciate it when they addressed stereotypes of everything, including the genre of movie they were so well placed in. He hated this movie, and he always would, and he had no intention, goodness forbid, of buying it at his next possible convenience.

“John, you liked it, just admit it. I saw your face.” John looked around, then whispered.

“If I deny it then no one knows.” Karkat tapped the camera again.

“This thing does. But if you’re a closet chick flick fan, I understand. After all, I had a phase like that once.” Karkat’s voice raised with passion for the subject. “But now I’m out of the closet, and I’m never going back!” He said, and John giggled at his words. “What’s funny, I’m- Oh, ha ha John, real mature.” He said, but he turned off the camera.

“Alright, now that I’ve spent two hours of my life that I’m never getting back, do you want to move on to part two?” John asked, and Karkat nodded.

“Definitely, I’d like to help with your Strider issues.” John blinked.

“I never said it was Dave.”

“You never denied it either.” He pointed out, and John froze, then Karkat rolled his eyes. “Please John, I’m not going to judge you. Lay it on me, John.” John took a deep breath.

“Well, okay. Here’s the thing. You know my training robot, and how it’s Dave but he’s sort of different because he’s a robot?” John asked, and Karkat nodded apprehensively. His feelings jam stuff really was more intense. “Well, Davebot sort of confessed his love to me.”

“Shut up.”

“I can’t, it’s the truth!” Karkat leaned in, fascinated. This was about to get interesting.

“So, what did you do?”

“Well, I may have sort of said okay, then in a crazy random moment without any thought or planning, kissed him?” John said, his words coming out with a wince. Karkat’s eyes widened. He couldn’t write a piece of drama that good.  Nope, real life really was crazier than fiction. “But here’s the thing. First, I’m not a homosexual. And second, I don’t know if Dave feels the same way. Davebot said he felt like that because it was programmed into him, not because of past experiences, or whatever. So what would that mean for Dave?” He asked, and Karkat let out a deep sigh.

“Man Egbert, this is intense. Is there any more?” John nodded reluctantly.

“Yes, there is. Even worse, Dave projects some of his fears onto Davebot, Davebot feels less than human, and I don’t know what to do with either of them! Davebot kisses me on the forehead in the morning, and I can’t tell him not to, because he’s forced to love me, weather he actually would want it or not. Then there’s Dave, and I don’t know if he feels that way or not. I mean, Davebot said that if he was Dave he’d be open to it, but he’s not Dave, and yet he is! Plus, Dave just seems so… hetero, and I don’t know if that’s just his personality or what, but every time I see him I can’t help but think about Davebot and wonder.” John said, and Karkat let out a long, long exhale.

“Alright John, calm down. Here, let’s start from somewhere simple- you.” Karkat said, and John listened. “How do you feel about Davebot?” John sighed.

“I don’t know. I don’t think I like him the way he likes me, but I can’t reject my best friend. Plus, it’s not like it’s his choice to feel the way he does, and I have to interact with him constantly too. And, I care about him, but I don’t know, it’s complicated.” John said, and Karkat frowned.

“Fine then, we’ll get off Davebot. What about Dave, how do you feel about him?” Karkat asked, and John shrugged.

“He’s been my friend for the longest time, out of anyone. I mean, he’s fantastic. I don’t know about him like that though.” John said simply, and Karkat accepted it, but pressed on.

“Alright, so if Mr. Tall blonde vampire boy walked up to you, right now and asked you out or kissed you, what would you do?” John thought for a second.

“Probably tell him that I need to think about whatever he’s going for. I mean, I couldn’t just push him away from me, but I probably wouldn’t do it back either.” John said, and Karkat frowned.

“Then why did you do it back to Davebot?” John frowned at the question.

“Well, he was going to deactivate, and I didn’t want it to be like I was pushing him away-”

“So you accepted it, allowing him to believe that his feelings are refuted even when they’re not entirely?” Karkat asked, and John looked down.

“But if I just let him deactivate, he could have been upset with me.” John said, and Karkat placed a warning hand on his shoulder.

“You know John, usually that’s how it goes. Someone doesn’t feel the same way, they get upset, and they find someone new.” John’s eyebrows creased.

“Wait, say that last part again?”

“They find someone new?” He said, his voice turning it into a question. A little spark appeared in John’s eyes, and Karkat tried to stop him. “No wait, I didn’t mean-”

“That’s it! All we have to do is find someone who loves Davebot, and we’ll be okay! Maybe, if building one robot got us into this mess, building another would solve it! I’ll talk to Dirk tomorrow, maybe he can help.” John said, and Karkat put his hands up in a warning motion.

“Woah, Egbert, be careful there. Artificial intelligence can lead to some sad stuff. Did you even watch the Terminator series? Or that one Avengers movie…”

“Chill out, Davebot wouldn’t destroy the world. He’s too cool for that.”

“So was Ari from  _ Eagle Eye _ , but she turned on the US government almost instantly.”

“He doesn’t work for the US government, and he has an automatic shutdown. I really don’t think he would ever do anything to hurt me.” John said confidently, yet Karkat looked understandably dubious.

“How do you know?” A small smile lifted itself onto John’s face.

“Because he’s Dave.”  Karkat rolled his eyes.

“Okay, if we put theoretical discussions aside, how would you even pitch this idea to Davebot? If you’re afraid of him feeling rejected, how would he react to having his love redirected by you, even if it is for his own benefit?” Karkat asked, and John had to think about that.

“I’ll just pitch it slyly. You know, like just… sneak around the subject.” John said, and Karkat had to fight the smile on his face.

“Alright, try on me.” Karkat said, and John looked confused.

“Wait, are you asking me to roleplay this?”

“Unless you want to write out what you say and read it from your hand.” John scowled.

“Fine. You be davesprite, I’ll be me.” Karkat cleared his throat, and made his voice deeper. He swept his hair back, and put a cheesy smirk on his face. The vampire leaned against a wall and regarded John through half lidded eyes.

“Hey, Johnbabe. So, how about that testosterone, and abs?” He said, and John had to cover his mouth with his hand to keep his giggles down.

“Well, Davebot, I have a question for you.”

“Shoot, Egbabe.” Karkat said, and before John could utter another word, he burst into laughter.

“Egbabe?” John asked between laughs, and Karkat laughed too.

“I don’t know, how would I know how Davebot flirts?”

“Not like that, like Dave!” Karkat raised an eyebrow.

“Dave flirts?” Karkat asked, and John let out an eye roll.

“Yes, he flipping flirts with everyone. I don’t even know how many times I’ve seen him flirt with that girl from his history class, Terezi? Yes, the tall blonde high school vampire is a flirt, surprise.” Karkat shrugged.

“You sure seem to notice. You’re not getting jealous, are you John?” Karkat asked, and John crossed his arms.

“Please, he’s my best friend. I doubt he’d leave our friendship behind over dating. Bros before other valued members of society, right?” John asked, and Karkat scoffed.

“I didn’t mean it like that, John. But really, we need to do this. Even if we do have all night, I would prefer that we get this portion of it done.” John decided he’d comment on the first part of his sentence later, they did need to get this done.

“Fine, fine. But you have to act more serious too. Now, where were we?”

“You were talking about something? Sorry, I may have been lost in your dreamy face.” Karkat said, using his deep ‘dave’ voice. “Better?” He asked, and John tilted his hand from side to side.

“Meh, closer. So, is there anyone you’re really a fan of? Like, do you really consider yourself close friends with anyone?” He asked, and Karkat shrugged.

“Alright, that’s a good conversation starter. So, what would you do from then on?”

“Well, I would probably ask Dirk to change Davebot, so he can love whoever, and then ask him to make a robot version of the person he actually likes, and then they can sail off into the sunset with robot love.” John said, and despite his slightly sarcastic last phrase, Karkat nodded.

“Alright John, good plan. Do you think Davesprite will be okay?”

“Well, he’ll be happy, right? I mean, if he falls in love with a robot who loves him back and understands him, I think he’ll be okay. We just have to find the right person.”

“Yeah. Okay, well done. Now, you can pick a movie, and if you make me sit through Con Air again I will end you.” Karkat said seriously, and John laughed. He was happy about tonight. He had some emotional closure, and that was really what he needed.

_______________________________________________--

(Saturday, February 16 th )

The next morning, his father wasn’t there. Instead, he had a different escort pick him up, and one of the orange variety. While Davebot usually wasn’t allowed to leave the house outside of training, John had training today. So, when he appeared at Karkat’s door and Karkat answered, John took it as his invitation to leave.

“Bye Karkat, thanks for the sleep over feelings jam.” Karkat offered him a thumbs up.

“That’s what I’m here for John. Now, my brother probably doesn’t know about the whole vampire robot thing, and that would kind of suck to explain, so-”

“Morning Karkat. John, we should go. Want to take my new wings out for a spin? I brought your hammer so we can train.” John grinned, excitement in his features. He hopped on Davebot’s shoulders along with his backpack, offered Karkat a final wave, and the two were off.

So yes, they may have done a little Aladdin scene, and John may or may not have screamed ‘A whole New World’ for all of suburban America to hear. Davebot certainly didn’t take longer than necessary up in the clouds, and John Egbert’s heart wasn’t racing. The blood was rushing to his cheeks, and Davesprite somehow managed to flip both him and his backpack over himself. For a second, John was surrounded by nothing but clouds. There was no contact, and strangely, no fear. Then the second ended and he was safe in Davebot’s arms. Eventually, they had to land so they could avoid being late. Davebot set them down near the side of their training area, away from where everyone could see.

__

Dave came with them for training this time. He wanted to maximize his John time to make up for his loss of a hangout session yesterday, and Terezi’s advice Friday night left him in a significantly better mood. John informed him over pesterchum that he was having a sleepover with Karkat, so Dave decided that he’d keep his arrival today a secret. Maybe, John would have that excited/ happy/ surprised look on his face that appeared whenever Dave showed up unexpectedly.

Maybe he’d get a hug from his friend, and they could have their best bro ever after day. Dave wandered a little away from everyone else, trying not to make it too obvious that he was waiting for John. Rose noticed though, and she told him that he would be there, eventually. Of course, Rose was right. Still, what was he doing? Come to think of it, he had no idea how John was arriving at training, considering that Roxy was already there. He walked up to the woman.

“Oh, Hi Roxy. So, is John coming today?” He asked casually, and Roxy had a knowing smile on her face.

“Yeah, he’s at a sleepover. Davebot said he’d pick him up, I let him bring his hammer.” Dave’s jaw tightened at that.

“Okay, cool. Thanks.” Except for Dave, it wasn’t cool. It wasn’t cool at all. So when he spent minutes upon minutes staring at the sky while everyone else conversed, it was no surprise that Dave was the only one to see it. ‘It’ happened to be a strange shadow in the clouds. Dave saw it land behind where everyone else was, and he knew who it was. He took off his sunglasses, ready to charge in there and get his daily dose of John. Maybe he’d offer him that bucktoothed grin when he saw Dave.

Or maybe his heart would break right in front of him.

__

“So, how was it?” Davebot asked coolly, and John couldn’t even respond for a minute. His smile was too wide. Davebot was holding the boy whose everything was pounding, and their faces were close, but John was too high on adrenaline to care.

“It- It was- Oh man, Davebot, it was-” Davebot immediately pressed his cool lips to John’s, and John practically melted into the kiss. The robot never attempted to deepen it, but that smoldering contact was more than enough for John to feel weak in the knees.  He didn’t necessarily kiss back, but he was surprised, and his heard was racing, so he just fell into the robot’s kiss. Thankfully, Davebot landed them away from everyone else, so when the orange machine pulled back to inspect the melted mess that was John Egbert, he was relived for their privacy. Man, if someone had seen them, John would have died on the spot. Not that he wasn’t dying now. His adrenaline was high, and his incoherency was higher.

“Was it good?” Davebot whispered, and John closed his eyes. Even if Davebot only loved him because he had to, and even if John wanted to set him up with someone else, John couldn’t lie. He did not intend to lie to his best friend’s robot, especially when his heart was pounding from something other than adrenaline. That kiss almost broke him. So, was it good? John had to answer truthfully.

“It was perfect.” He said, and it was. Davebot had to resist the urge to fist pump himself, especially when he realized that Dave was in the area. So, he was completing his programming directive, acting on his own desires, and kissing John fucking Egbert. Davebot couldn’t have been happier.

“Yeah, I thought so.” Davebot said, and John stood on shaky legs. He offered Davebot a small smile, and Davebot responded with a decidedly bigger one. He stretched out his wings, then sighed.”Sorry Egbert, but it looks like you’ll have to put me back on training mode.”  John nodded slowly, making an incomprehensible noise, and Davebot laughed. “Geez Egdork, calm down. There’s more where that came from, I’ll see you soon, alright?” He asked, and John had to concentrate, but he got out a phrase.

“Okay Davebot, see you soon!” He said, and Davebot smirked, then returned to his training mode state. That said, he kept his smirk on his face, and John walked in with Davebot like everything was normal. Still, he’d been rethinking his idea, with Karkat. Was Davebot liking him such a bad thing? John didn’t feel like it was any more. And after that kiss, he began to dislike the idea of giving the robot up. At this point,  Even the sun radiated less heat than his face, but he hoped no one would notice. His knees were wobbly, but he put on a confident smile anyway. Of course, any real observer could see the side glances he offered Davebot, or the extra giddiness he had ‘for training’. Unfortunately, the only possible observer was long gone, and with him came jealousy, confusion, and heartbreak.

JAFNF Chapter 51

(Saturday, February 16 th )

Dave practically staggered back to the training area, right before John walked in. He had the now winged Davebot in tow, and greeted everyone normally. Dave wanted to run. Not just hide, but flee. He wanted to get out of there, and that’s what he did. The boy quietly slipped over to his brother, told him he was leaving, and pretended he couldn’t hear when Dirk announced that John was here. Dave hoped he wouldn’t mention that Dave was here. Dave didn’t want to be present right now.

If he wanted to, he could just run all the way home. In his current state, he probably had the ability to, despite the substantially far distance. The con to that idea was that it was far, but the positives far outweighed the negatives. Of course, the positives included the fact that he wouldn’t have to deal with John or his brother or that stupid robot.

With no other goal, method, or thought in mind, Dave ran. He didn’t even feel the first mile, and after the second, his tiredness was wiped away by flashes of images. It was John, and Davebot. The worst  part was that it looked so natural. Dave didn’t know how an orange bird robot kissing a small blue boy could look natural, but they managed it. It was really the way John reacted, or more in how he didn’t react. It was like John didn’t even have to do anything, he was that used to kisses like that. Dave saw the boy melt in someone else’s arms, and it hurt, but Dave didn’t know why.

Or, Dave couldn’t admit why. Either way, it hurt him. Dave resigned the previous statement about the worst thing in this situation. The entire situation was the worst thing possible. Maybe part of it was that John never told him. Granted, the phrase ‘I’m dating a robotic version of you, just thought you should know’, did not come up naturally in a conversation. Then again, none of this was natural.

It wasn’t right that this robot had John. Maybe it was the fact that the robot was him. He had John melting on him, yet he didn’t. Maybe it was that this robot could do what he couldn’t. Or, maybe he could, but he certainly didn’t try in time. Then again, try what? John was straight as far as he knew, but clearly he didn’t know much. That didn’t happen to straight guys. The way they kissed, and touched, and existed together, that was not just casual.

That robot loved John, and he could tell. Maybe John felt the same way. But what did that say about John’s feelings towards Dave? He didn’t know why this bothered him so much. Okay, well he did know why, because he just saw a robotic version of himself leave his best friend in the world breathless. That had to be an acceptable reason. What did it say about Dave’s feelings towards John? More importantly, how did no one else see what happened? He needed to clear his head.

When Dave actually arrived at home, undoubtedly in under an hour (and traveling multiple miles in less than one hour was no walk in the park for an emotionally distraught vampire) he tried to open the door.

Then he tried again.

And then his hand hit his head, because duh, he needed keys to access his house. People need keys to access their homes, and Dave was no exception. Could today possibly have gotten worse? Dave could have broken in, but he decided to do something better, which consisted of sliding against his front door onto the porch, and closing his eyes. Finally, he had some time to think. Yet, he didn’t want to think today. No, Dave wanted a distraction from Davebot, the robot that stole what was left of his fragile happiness.

Okay, maybe that was a little much. He didn’t steal all of his happiness away, he just kissed John. John could still be there, and could still be his friend. Heck, John was already proving that he could still care about Dave, even with a robot boyfriend on the side. All he had to do was go up to John, in a nice, comfortable way, and ask about him. That’s what he would do.

So, when his brother finally did arrive at home to see a sweaty, depressed Dave, he stole a look at the robot. Dirk let him inside the house, and Dave offered to carry Davebot inside. Dirk was okay with it, and everything was fine- until it wasn’t. Because while they still stood outside, Dave dropped Davebot, on his head. He really didn’t want to deal with it now, and didn’t care when he heard the sound of crunching metal.

“Good thing I added in that regeneration, huh?” Dirk asked, and Dave looked behind him. His brother saw him drop Davebot, and he hadn’t stopped him. “Bring this little shit down to my workplace, please. I need to have a conversation with him.” Dave just stood and nodded silently. He brought the robot down to Dirk’s shop as asked, and eventually returned back upstairs. He still hadn’t replaced his glasses, but at least they were inside now. Dave walked to the refrigerator, then grabbed an apple juice and went to his room. He didn’t have music on or his computer up. The room was dark, and Dave just laid on his bed with his eyes wide open.

_______________________________--

“Okay, what the actual fuck?” Dirk asked this time, and noticed the cheerful grin on the Dave robot’s face.

“Say whatever, it was worth it.” Davebot said, and Dirk wanted to growl at his stupid, stupid little robot brother.

“What exactly is… ‘it’?” Dirk asked angrily, and Davebot smirked.

“Oh, I took John on a ride with my wings, then gave him the best kiss ever, in front of Dave. I don’t feel bad.” Davebot said, and Dirk frowned.

“That’s it, I’m reviewing your footage. What did John do?” He asked, and a smile grew on Davebot’s face.

“Oh, you know. Melt. It was great.”

“Not for Dave.”

“That’s the point.” Dirk grumbled, but his robot was right. It would work eventually, but still, he felt like a jerk. Or, more of a jerk than usual anyway. He sighed, then sat down.

“Okay, we need to talk.” He said, and Davebot looked up.

“If you’re trying to make me feel bad about that, I don’t think I can.”

“It’s something else. I was wondering, you know what I said about removing your love for John?” he asked, and Davebot frowned.

“Yeah, and how I said no. It’s worth it for it to hurt when I lose him. Days like today make me realize that.” Dirk put his hands up.

“I know, I know. I was just wondering, what if I removed the love for John, and just made it normal love? I’m only asking so that you can choose this for yourself, instead of just following what programming makes you do.” Davebot’s jaw set in place.

“Why are you asking me this? Did John say something?” He asked, and Dirk sighed.

“Look, he’s worried, Davebot. And I know he’s actually into you now. He really wants to know if you only love him because you’re forced to, and I think it’s a fair question. So, I give you the ability to love anyone, after the mission is complete. If you still love John after that, fine. But you can love anyone, not just him.” Davebot felt a weird lump in his central programming area.

“I… don’t want to stop loving him. And yet, I’m curious too.” He put a hand on his head, crippling as if he had a headache. “I- I don’t-” He tried, and Davebot shut off. Dirk couldn’t help himself, he panicked.

“Davebot? Davebot, come online!” He shouted, receiving no response. Dirk hastily put on his gloves, then opened his mainframe. Maybe, with a few changes, he could make his robot feel okay. The man placed a hand on his central processor and found that it was much too warm. Had he overheated, because his mind was divided that easily? Dirk shuddered. He couldn’t let this one die.

So, he started re-wiring, then typing in codes and objectives. Davebot had done enough anyway. If kissing John right in front of him wasn’t enough to make Dave jealous, nothing would be. Dirk found himself stroking the robot’s hair in a comforting motion. His poor, poor little brother robot overworked itself, just trying to complete his goals. Dirk would make it up to him though. He liked John’s idea, and maybe with the right tinkering and a little luck, things would turn out okay.  

Speaking of things that were okay, it’s worthwhile to mention that Dave was not included in that list. He simply was not okay. He needed to talk to John, yet he avoided him and that robot like the plague. Still, if he avoided John too much he would notice. Then again, John didn’t notice Dave looking for him today- he was preoccupied. Dave found himself silently wishing that he had whatever his robot had to make John fall for him so easily.

Then, he blinked and snapped out of it. No, Dave did not want John to fall for him. Really. He didn’t. He would just have to be super careful around John, and, well, John would still figure it out. He was John, for crying out loud. Still, the way his lips locked onto his robot’s, almost greedily made Dave uncomfortable. So, Dave decided he would tell John on Monday, to rid himself of this discomfort. He would tell him what he saw, and how it made him feel, and they could figure this out together, without that Robot. They didn’t need him, Dave didn’t need him, and he wanted to make it certain that John didn’t need him.

___________________

(Sunday, February 17 th )

On Sunday, when Davebot returned home, he felt different. When John greeted him, he still had that bubble of nervousness, but he didn’t have that overwhelming urge to make the boy explode with happiness. He saw John, and John smiled at him.

“Hi, Davebot. How are you doing?” He asked, and Davebot let out a smirk.

“I should be asking how you are, you were in quite the condition when I last saw you.” Davebot said, and John’s face got warmer.

“Oh, right. So, uh, what did Bro do?” John asked, and Davebot leaned in.

“Actually, that’s what I was hoping to discuss, if you don’t mind.” Davebot said, and the two went into John’s room. “He removed my love for you, but not for everyone. So, I don’t know if I’ll still feel the same way.” Davebot said as honestly as he could, and John nodded.

“That’s okay, I understand. I’m glad no one saw us yesterday. Especially Dave.” John said, and Davebot laughed nervously.

“Yep, because I put us down away from everyone else, so yay. Oh, and about yesterday, did you like the flying?” He asked, and John nodded without hesitation. “What about what we did after we landed?” He asked, and John sighed.

“I don’t know. I mean, it felt fantastic, but I don’t know if it was real, and I don’t know if I wanted it to be.” John said truthfully, and Davebot sighed. He could live with that.

“If the urge comes again, you should know that it’s real, Egbert.” John’s face got warmer, but he nodded.

“Of course. It was pretty nice.” John said, and Davebot raised an eyebrow.

“Yeah?” He asked, and John looked up bashfully.

“Yeah.” He finished, and Davebot smirked. That one could go right to the Ego. He wasn’t sure if he could still complete his original mission, but he was determined to still get these two together. Maybe now, he wouldn’t have to be hurt by it- provided that he didn’t fall for John again. Still, John wasn’t making it any easier on him- the kid was adorable, and it was Davebot’s weakness. Still, he needed to be doing these intense displays of affection in front of Dave, not away from them. So, although Davebot still had the urge to, he didn’t swoop John in for another heroic kiss. Tomorrow was Monday- he could wait.


	19. Chapter 19

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 52-62  
> 405-505

JAFNF Chapter 52

(Monday, February 18 th )

It was Monday morning, and Dave Strider was at John’s door. He was right on time, and John was having breakfast. John’s parents offered Dave some food as usual, and he took a mini muffin. After popping the food in his mouth, Dave greeted John.

“Oh, uh, hi John. What’s up?” He asked, and John shrugged.

“Well, I had a good time at Karkat’s house, he helped me think through some stuff. Training was good too.” John said, and Dave wanted to blanch at thoughts of yesterday. At least John didn’t know that he was there, so that worked in his favor. He sent a silent thank you to Bro, then continued their conversation.

“That’s good, John. Wait, did we have biology homework?” He asked, and John wanted to respond, but Davebot casually walked down the stairs and into John’s vision area. The boy suddenly looked at Dave nervously, and Davebot offered John a mandatory smirk.

“Good morning everyone.” Davebot said, and Jacob greeted them kindly from the kitchen.

“Good morning, Davebot.” He said. Davebot walked past Dave and up next to John.

“Have a good day at school, you two. Also, John, I think you left something in your room that you need. Can we go pick it up?”

“Sure, what is it?” John asked, beginning to follow the robot up the stairs. Davebot smirked.

“Well, It’s big, and messy. It has stuff coming out of it everywhere, all the time. Can you guess?” He asked, and John looked at Davebot suspiciously.

“I feel like you’re making a joke.” John said, and Dave choked on his muffin from downstairs. Did Davebot just offer John what he thought he would offer him? Oh no, no no no. That was just- he needed to get upstairs. John’s dad left the area some time ago, so Dave silently crept up the stairs after them. He followed them and they left John’s room door open. Dave peeked inside, and overheard them. No, he wasn’t eavesdropping or being invasive, he was just looking out for his friend’s privacy. John was an understanding, kind person… and he never had to know that Dave was watching him.

“What joke?” Davebot asked, feigning naivety.

“A… penis?” John asked, and Davebot put his hands up.

“Woah woah Egdork, no need for profanities. I was talking about your backpack. Shame on your dirty mind!” He said in an old lady voice, and John blinked.

“Wait, what? No, I didn’t- I just thought-”

“Save it Mr. Egbert, you can’t talk your way out of this one.” Davebot put a hand on his chin. “Buut… I may convince myself to forget your utter lewdness if you do something else.” John looked confused.

“What else could I possibly do?” Davebot pretended to think about it. Dave swore he saw his eyes flash towards the door, and he smirked.

“Maybe something like… this?” He asked, leaning down and kissing John. He pulled back quickly, and John stood, surprised. Dave could practically see the blood rushing to his dark cheeks, like a taunt.

“Heheh, thanks Davebot. So, did you-”

“I’m still figuring it out, that was sort of an experiment. Is that okay?” He asked, and John smiled.

“Davebot, I know it’s complicated. If you need time to figure stuff out, I’m here to help.” John responded.

“Thanks, John. You’re the best. Anyway, Have a good day at school.” He said, and ruffled his hair. John looked annoyed at the hair touch, but shot up.

“Oh that’s right, Dave’s still waiting for me downstairs!” John said, and Davebot put a hand on John’s shoulder.

“Easy there Egbert, don’t forget your backpack, again. And I think he may be more occupied than you think.” Dave jumped up. Shit, John couldn’t catch him. He quietly rushed down the stairs and stood in what he hoped looked like a casual position. Dave replayed Davebot’s actions in his head. This time, instead of focusing on that kiss (he couldn’t afford to just be angry at Davebot again, John was here.) he focused on something else. His words about how he suspected Dave’s presence, and that glance he took towards him were a broken record in his head. He repeated them, and Dave concluded.

“He’s doing it on purpose?”  He asked himself, only for John to descend down the stairs, thankfully not followed by Davebot.

“Dave, are you ready to go?” He asked, and Dave let out a shaky smile. Be cool, Dave Strider. He’d practiced this. The boy made his face smile, despite the fact that he literally wanted to rip the head off the nearest orange robotic douche he could find.

“Yeah John, we should head out.” Dave said, and they did. Once the two left, Dave coughed in his fist. “So… John. Uh, how are things going with Davebot?” He asked, and John looked surprised.

“Wait, really?” He asked, and Dave nodded.

“Just curious.” John stopped for a second, then sighed.

“Pretty good, actually. He just got this new change-“

“The wings?” Dave asked, and John shook his head.

“No, something else. I think he’s happy about it. But he’s really, really happy about his wings.” Dave looked at John, pretending to care that this robot version of himself was happy. Why should he care, that thing was tormenting him, and he did it on purpose.

“Oh, that’s good. Does he fly often?” Dave asked, and John nodded enthusiastically.

“Yes, he does. He took me flying this Saturday. It was fantastic.” John said, sighing a little at the memory. “Being up there, with all of the clouds and stuff is just indescribable. He did this thing, when he threw me and flipped me over.” Dave looked concerned.

“Wait, he let you go, in the middle of the sky? Didn’t you freak out about falling?” Dave asked, and John looked a little surprised with himself, but shook his head.

“Actually, no. When I was up there, without anything holding me, I wasn’t scared at all. It was like I was flying, and the thought of falling and dying never really entered my head. Plus, Davebot caught me a second later, so I was okay.” John said, and his voice got quieter. “You know, when I was up there, it almost felt a little… I don’t know, sad, but also happy? I don’t know the word.”

“Nostalgic?” Dave offered, and John nodded.

“Yeah, I think so. But that’s when you have a memory of doing something, and I’m pretty sure I can’t fly.” A smile appeared on Dave’s face.

“True, but if you could you’d be a superhero, right?” John played with the idea in his head, then nodded.

“By day, I’m John Egbert, but when duty calls-” John took off his glasses dramatically, “I become, Breath boy!” John announced, and Dave took one look at his face before they burst into laughter.

“Breath boy? Are you serious?” He asked, and John shook his head, replacing his glasses.

“Geez Dave, I don’t know. I didn’t have hours to think of a superhero name.” John said, and Dave smirked. Since their conversation started, he forgot about Davebot. Apparently, faking happy until he actually was worked.

“Okay, but what would your costume be like?” Dave asked, and John shrugged.

“It would be blue, and I would have a cape- no, a hood.” John envisioned, and Dave laughed.

“Really? I would probably have a cape- those things are cool. Still, would you really be one of the ones that wears their underwear on the outside?” Dave asked, and John shook his head, disgusted.

“Eww, no! It would be a body suit, like Spiderman.”

“Or Deadpool.” John stopped for a second.

“Isn’t he like, insane?” Dave shrugged.

“I don’t know, but I think the red is kind of cool. So, would you actually be a hero, or a villain?” Dave asked, and John responded immediately.

“Duh, a hero! I would have to be a good guy.”

“But what if something tragic happened to you?” Dave asked, and John thought about that one.

“Well, I was bullied into being fed off of for an entire like, six years. I’m still not lashing out at everyone and hating them.” John said, and Dave nodded.

“That’s actually really great John. You’re a good person.” He said, and John smiled at the compliment.

“Thanks Dave, you too. Okay, so if we were super heroes, which one would be the amiable sidekick?” John asked, and Dave shook his head.

“Nah, we wouldn’t work together at first. We would be superheroes in the same town, and we would just have one of those sets of unspoken rules. Like, I would be the hero in the daytime, and you would be the one at night, or something. Then, we’d have an epic team up and kick butt.” Dave said, and John giggled a little, at the thought of an epic super villan fight.

“You’ve thought about this before, haven’t you.” John said, and Dave shrugged.

“Guilty as charged, breath boy.” John crossed his arms.

“Dave, that’s not a thing.”

“It is now and it will never stop being a thing. I have so many nicknames for you. Do you have any for me?” He asked, and John thought about it, then shook his head.

“I don’t think so, you’ve always just been Dave, or turntech godhead. Why, should I think of one for you?” John asked, and Dave responded immediately.

“Nah John, call me whatever makes you comfortable. You don’t have to start generating nicknames if you don’t want to.” John pouted at that.

“But, I thought nicknames were a friendship thing.”

“Yeah, but they don’t just appear immediately. Nicknames are all inside jokes that develop after time. Maybe you don’t naturally nickname people, but that’s okay. It doesn’t mean you need to force friendship achievements. If it’s supposed to happen, it will.” Dave said, and John looked up at his friend in surprise.

“Wow Dave, that advice was so quotable.” John said, and Dave shrugged.

“What can I say, I’m a master of the arts of language. Hey, speaking of mastering language, we’re here.” Dave mentioned, and John noticed it was true.

“Alright, who’s dropping who off?” He asked, and Dave shrugged.

“I don’t know, but I think we get to your room first.” John nodded, and the two continued on their way. Once they finally reached John’s class, Dave received his standard hug, wished the boy goodbye, then slapped his forehead in frustration. He forgot to ask about Davebot. Still, he would have a chance later.

After legitimately paying attention in his first few classes, it was time for lunch. AKA, it was go time. Dave entered the library and found John shelving books. He silently slipped in and joined him. After most were put away, John spoke up.

“Dave, I thought about that super hero thing more.” John said, and instantly, they were back on the topic. Of course, if they were on that topic, it meant they couldn’t be on another one. One that was admittedly more plot developing.  So, they chatted about superheroes, and the lunch period ended. Dave missed his chance, again. Still, he would get another opportunity later, right?

Well, wrong. They didn’t talk about it on the way home, nor did they mention it once they entered John’s house, and they certainly didn’t talk about it when Davebot was there. Classic Dave eventually had to leave. And as he departed, his hopes of closure on the subject for that day would as well. So, when Dave returned home, he was eerily silent. Dirk even tried talking to him in the car, but it was clear that Dave had other things on his mid.

Dirk really did want to help his brother through the situation, but there was little that he could do. After all, he caused it. So, he invested his efforts into helping with the other version of his younger sibling. Still, that required some finesse. He knew that Davebot didn’t necessarily approve of his impromptu operation, but he had to do it to save his ‘life’. That said, John was working on a solution to make him happier.

Speaking of that solution, John was working on it now.

“So, Davebot. Is there anyone that you’d consider dateable?” John asked, then quickly added more. “Since, you know, the change.” Davebot raised an eyebrow.

“Even with the change, I still think you’re cool. Maybe Jade, now that my options are open.” He said, and John looked interested.

“Wait, really?” Davebot put a hand against his head.

“Well, Dave kind of dated her, before the whole vampire/ werewolf thing. She always understood me, and not in a Rose way.”

“What happened?” Davebot looked a little awkward, but answered.

“Well, we were doing everything we did as friends, and when we tried to say other stuff, it was super awkward.” He confessed, and John nodded.

“Would it be better IRL, for you?” John asked, and Davebot looked at him quizzically.

“Wait, why do you ask? That’s way too specific to just be curious. I know you, John.” John panicked for a second, he couldn’t tell him the plan to set him up with someone else yet.

“Because of… Dave! Yes, because of Dave. I feel like he’d feel the same way about Jade, so I asked you!” John explained, using a white lie. Davebot shrugged.

“Hm, alright. Well, maybe it would be different in real life. I hope it could go differently. It wasn’t bad, just thirteen and awkward.” John pursed his lips.

“You never told me.”

“It was only like, a week. I actually doubt that she remembers.” He said, and John raised an eyebrow. Well, that was certainly interesting. Maybe he could relay this information to Dirk, and they could figure something out, hopefully. It was a good start.

“Hm, so do you just have a thing for brunette, or what?” Davebot was confused. “Or is it the glasses? What’s your type?” He asked, and Davebot rolled his glowing eyes.

“I don’t know if I have one. I did this before I saw all of you in real life. What about you, John?” He asked, and John shrugged.

“I don’t know. Feelings are complicated. I think I would be okay with most people though. Do you think I’ll find ‘the one’?” He asked, and Davebot shrugged.

“Maybe. I don’t know if I even can do that. After all, I am a robotic copy of Dave. I doubt that anyone that dated me would be doing anything but settling for less.” He said, and John put a hand on his arm.

“Hey, you don’t know that. Maybe someone who really gets it will come along. You never know, right?” John asked, and Davebot offered him a half smile.

“Heh, right. Thanks John.”

__

..Hi.. So, howaboutthatdavebothuh?

\---

****

JAFNF Chapter 53

(Monday, March 8 th )

Dave tried to have that conversation. He really did. Except, it just didn’t happen. And almost a month later, the conversation still didn’t happen. By now it was mid March, and Dave gave up on the idea entirely. He didn’t know what would come of the aforementioned conversation, and he certainly didn’t know how to bring it up. So, if John desired the kisses of an orange robot every morning, Dave let him have them. He could not bring himself to feel alright with the situation, but he lacked the ability to change anything.

So, Dave seethed in silence. It still made him upset. Plus, John never admitted it, or told Dave about the situation. One Monday in class, Dave couldn’t stop thinking about it. He wasn’t able to tell John what was up, so he had no way of getting answers. No, he had to have other answers. Still, he didn’t know anything, and John couldn’t say anything if Dave never asked. But if Dave couldn’t ask, what other solutions did he have? He thought about it all day, and still didn’t have a solution.

It was 2:52 am. No, he didn’t check his alarm clock, but he knew that was around the time. He also knew that he should have been sleeping, and the vampire asked his brain to shut up. Eventually, it did. Dave slowly went from half asleep to three quarters asleep… and then he shot up in bed.

“Davebot!” He announced, and then lowered his voice. Wait, it didn’t matter, his older brother worked at night. Dave sat upright on his bed. Of course, he could go to Davebot. He found the missing piece of the puzzle. John didn’t work, so that happened to be the only option left. Dave felt excited at first, then flopped back down in his bed. Then, another issue arose. Dave and Davebot’s interactions all only happened because of John, and the boy couldn’t be there when he had their conversation. Whatever, he could figure that out later in the day. The vampire finally got some rest.

That morning, it was go time. Now, Dave promised himself he’d act this time, and he made a plan. So, Dave did step one: get Davebot alone. He arrived at John’s house earlier than usual that morning, and John felt more than happy to see him. Davebot stood next to John, who smirked once he saw Dave. John unfortunately still needed to eat breakfast, according to his parents, and they made him sit down.

“That’s okay John, you enjoy your food. I’m actually curious about Davebot. Could we try out your flying thing? Those wings are cool.” Dave said, and John brightened.

“Oh, you can’t do it inside, but it’s okay outside! You should try it! Flying feels really cool.” John announced, and Davebot looked between Dave and John suspiciously. Well, it wasn’t like he could say no anyway. So, the orange robot offered him a raised eyebrow.

“Sure, let’s step out, and you can hop aboard the Davebot express. Try not to scream too much, Strider.” Davebot said, and gladly followed him outside. Well, he succeeded in isolation. Now all he needed was part two, the confrontation. Davebot kindly started it for him. “Now that we’re out here, what’s your deal?”

“Please, I think it’s obvious that I’m not trying to flap away on the Aladdin express with you. I wanted to talk.” Dave said, and Davebot rolled his glowing eyes.

“Took you long enough. So let me guess- you want to ask me about John?” The robot said, and Dave faltered for a second. No, the vampire had to stay strong. He could not afford to lose his nerve now.

“Actually, yes. Why do you kiss him all the time?” Dave asked, and Davebot shook his head.

“Strider, is that really the question you should be asking? You already know this, and I know you know, because I’m you, kind of. So please, get to the point. I would prefer to be inside with John’s family instead of being here.” Davebot said, and Dave’s glare picked up behind his shades. This robot apparently didn’t want to make things easy for him. Dave looked for a different question to ask, and found one immediately. Maybe this would be enough to satisfy his douche bag of a doppelganger.

“Fine, how about this one. Why do you kiss him in front of me, when you know it makes me upset? Do you have an issue with me?” Dave asked, and Davebot sighed.

“Tsk Strider, as usual you’re so close, yet so far! Also, don’t try to bait me into a theological discussion about my fucked up feelings towards you, and essentially myself. It’s not polite or discreet. Now, are you going to ask the question you need to ask, or am I going inside?” At this, Dave gritted his teeth. How could he have been so frustrating? “I’m not giving this to you, Dave. You need to figure this part out for yourself, I can explain the rest once you ask, but not before. Come on!”

“Fine!” Dave shouted, then lowered his voice. “Fine. Here it is, the end of the rainbow. Why do I care so much about you and John? I shouldn’t, but I do, and I don’t know why. I don’t know who to ask about this, and you make it worse. Fuck, I know you make it worse on purpose. Why do you make it worse on purpose? Why do you even-”

“Hey.” Davebot interrupted him, his voice a little kinder than before. “Dave, calm down. I was only looking for one question, and you asked. So, here it is, even though you already know this too. Do you want to take a crack at it, or can you really not admit it to yourself and see it?” Dave let in a deep breath.

“No, I literally have no idea, and it’s been fucking with me for over a month now. Tell me, I need this.” Dave said, and Davebot chuckled a little.

“They do say love is blind, but I think that means something else. Dave Strider, you’re-” the front door burst open, and John stood at its entrance.

“Oh cool, you guys are back! How was your flight?” He asked, and Dave, despite the fact that he felt like screaming, put a gigantic dopey smile on his face.

“Are you kidding? It was amazing! Plus, it was just like you said. Up there, I felt no fear, just-” Dave wanted to continue cultivating his lie, but Davebot’s laughter stopped him.

“No fear my ass, Strider. You screamed so much, I didn’t even try the flip. I’m surprised you didn’t hear him, he sounded like a kid on his first rollercoaster ride.” John covered his mouth with his hand to hide his smile, but he couldn’t stop the giggle that erupted from his lips. Both Daves felt themselves fighting off the urge to ‘aww’ at the sound.

“I did not!” Dave said indignantly, giving him a glare though his shades. Seriously, that extra information wasn’t necessary.

“Hey, I’m just telling my main man the truth.” Davebot said with a casual smirk, and Dave gave him a poisonous glare.

“What happens in the sky stays in the sky, asshole.” Davebot responded back cheekily.

“Takes one to know one, or in this case, be one.” Dave wanted to say something else, but John stepped between them.

“Hey guys, calm down. It’s okay if you screamed, Dave.” The orange version had to stop his incoming laugh at the irony of the situation, and Dave wanted to argue more. Then Dave realized that they were literally just fighting over a lie, and that made him feel stupid for a minute. “Dave, we should head to school.” John said, and Dave realized John was right. Still, he never received his answer. “I think you left your backpack inside.”

“Oh! I’ll go get it, sorry Egbert.” Dave said, and proceeded to return to the house. Davebot was alone with John now, and he leaned down to kiss him, but stopped. He wouldn’t tolerate this soon, now that his mission was almost complete. Was this still okay to do, especially considering that now he didn’t have to? Then again, that also meant Davebot’s actual kissing time with John was limited- this could have been the last one. And with that thought in mind alone, Davebot grabbed John, backpack and all, and flew them into the sky.

“Oh, Davebot, we’re flying again? Yes, this is my favorite thing to do!” John announced, and Davebot smiled, but took him way above the clouds. They could still see a few colors from the sunrise, and the robot let him enjoy the view for a moment. John wanted to keep talking, but Davebot stopped him, and his voice was unnaturally quiet.

“John, I wanted to make this one special. So, I hope you like the view.” He said, and Dave looked around him from his perspective in the robot’s arms. John’s mouth hung open at the sight, but he noticed that Davebot looked a little sad. His tone was wistful, and John didn’t know why, but he felt like something was ending.

“Davebot, is something wrong?” He asked, and the robot didn’t answer him with words. Instead, he took in a deep breath, and pressed his lips to John’s. Davebot didn’t expect him to do anything, so he cocked his head to the side, making their lip lock more comfortable for both of them. Davebot was enjoying it, so his metaphorically closed eyes shot open when John wrapped his arms around Davebot’s neck, and for the first time, he kissed back. John felt his body melding into Davebot’s, and the robot held him securely in the sky. When they finally pulled apart, John swore he could hear background music. He looked at Davebot, and his heart pounded in his chest. “Davebot, oh my gog. I- I think- I think I love you.” John admitted, and Davebot offered him a smile at his words. Davebot felt his cheeks heating with artificial blush, and this time, John reached in for another kiss.   

They stared at each other for a while, just listening to John’s heart pound in his chest. It was strange how silent things were above the clouds. John felt like he left the worries, issues, and struggles of normal life on the ground, and up here he could be free. John wanted to spend more time up there, but eventually Dave left the house and called out John’s name, and they knew they had to return to the ground. Instead of leaving John blushing, disoriented, melted into a senseless pile of nothing, and utterly ensnared by his charm, Davebot let John compose himself. The blue clad boy felt like this kiss was different from the others, but he couldn’t understand why. It just was.

John slowly let go of Davebot’s neck as they descended, getting one more slow view of the clouds before they returned to reality. Dave saw them, and noticed the robot carrying John, bridal style. He slowly let John out of his arms and onto the ground, and the boy stood up again. Dave noticed that John didn’t look quite as dishelved this time, and he wondered how long the two had been up there, or if they’d even kissed at all. Well, he didn’t have to wonder, of course they did. He could tell from the long looks John gave Davebot, and his lips turned downwards. Still, he had to be professional about this. Dave couldn’t just say that he felt upset, even if the prospect of John kissing Davebot upset him. So, he spoke.

“Oh, there you are. You two went out for a flight?” Dave asked, and Davebot answered for John.

“Yeah, we did. How was it, John?” He asked, and John couldn’t help it, a small smile rose to his face at the familiar dialogue.

“It was perfect.” He said in a small voice, and Davebot offered him one of his mainly unseen grins.

“Yeah, I thought so.” He finished, and then he looked at John, a caring smile on his face. “Have a good day at school.” He said, and John sighed, but nodded happily.

“I will.” John said, and satisfied, Davebot turned to Dave. He looked upset yet again, but he tried to hide it.

“Dave, come here. Your backpack is unzipped. Also, John, did you get that binder you left on your desk?” He asked, and John’s eyes widened as Dave walked over to the robot.

“Oh dang! Back in a flash, guys!” John ran inside, and Dave wanted to say something.

“Hey man, what the heck was that?” He asked, and Davebot rolled his eyes, but whispered to him in response.

“Dave, you must really be blind under those shades. You know that emotion you feel right now? That’s jealousy. You’re clearly in deep for John, and literally the only person standing in the way of getting what you want. You know how you’re frustrated, and uncomfortable, and always thinking about this? Guess what Dave, that’s a part of falling for your best friend. I mean, how this isn’t obvious to you is insane- even Bro’s seen it. I’ve been conditioning John for weeks now, he fucking loves you too. Go for it, you idiot.” Davebot finished zipping, not caring to see Dave’s shock. John returned, binder in hand. “I’ll see you two in seven hours!” He announced loudly, and John took that as an invitation to wave, then start their trip to school. As they walked in one direction, Davebot walked in the other. He returned inside, and decided he’d use his pesterchum function. He needed to update Dirk on his progress.

Turntech Testified (TT) Began pestering Timeus Testefied (TT).  

TT: Hey, I know you’re not reading this yet, but I thought you should receive an update on the mission. Despite what you may think, I haven’t forgotten.

TT: Actually, I’d say the mission is just about accomplished.

TT: So, congratulations on that. Go team, woo hoo.

TT: Davebot out.

Turntech Testified (TT) ceased pestering Timeus Testefied (TT).

As Davebot returned to the house, he sat back on the sofa. His mission was accomplished. While the programmed part of him felt at ease, the humane side of his existence felt horrible. He accomplished his mission. And in doing so, he lost John. Now, Davebot always knew this would happen, and he said it was worth it, but now he had to do the hard part that came with loving someone. He had to let him go. Well, he did more than let him go- he delivered him in a gift basket like a fucking stork onto Dave’s doorstep. Maybe, he could just deactivate for now, since his mission was complete.

John had the real Dave now. Despite everything, Davebot wanted what was best for John, and both the robotic and humane sides of his mid saw the potential problems with his presence. When John’s feelings budded for Dave, as they already had, having Davebot around him would only harm their relationship. And if Davebot tried to stay until they actually started dating, he had two options- none of which were good for John.

He could either pull away from the boy slowly and detach himself from his life, but that couldn’t work for one main reason.  John still needed him as a training robot. Soon, since the boy progressed, he wouldn’t, but for now he still needed that side of him. John physically had to see him on a weekly basis, and John would be upset over the slow destruction of their relationship. He’d try desperately to get it back, and in the process blow off and upset Dave, who just figured out his feelings.

His other option, was that he deactivated himself the second John and Dave got together. That couldn’t work for a multitude of reasons. One of them included the fact that John clearly returned his feelings now. If he were to still be there while Dave tried to date him, it would cause confusion, and the odds that John would choose Dave over Davebot without any guilt were unreasonably low. Plus, John was supposed to be happy when Dave finally asked him out, or vice versa, and if he essentially committed suicide that day, his attention would be on Davebot, not Dave. Dave would get angry and jealous, and John would feel upset.

His continued presence could only be detrimental to the boy. But, if he were to deactivate now, Dave would be clear for trying to ask John out, and they would gain the bonus closeness of helping each other through grief. Davebot immediately produced what would surely be the best solution. After all, it solved as many problems as possible. If he wanted John to be happy, he was going to have to detach from him eventually, and that would hurt no matter how he attempted to do it. This way, they had the maximum benefit. If he removed the personality from the robot, the ‘level T’, John could still use levels one through ten for training. Davebot decided that was what he could do. He could not tell John about this- the blue-eyed boy was far too human and attached to his best friend to let him go through with this. In fact, he had to do it now, before John got to see him again after that goodbye kiss. John couldn’t see the most logical solution, unlike Davebot. The real Dave would still be there for him, and that was all he really needed to get better.  

For his brother, the only other person that really cared about him, Davebot wasn’t too worried. The man was smart- he could build other robots. Still, Davebot knew how many hours the man must have put into coding up his personality. Making it disappear would be hell for him, if only because all that work went down the drain after his little project was complete. So, Davebot decided to back it up for him, just in case. With his internal internet connection, he created a website and backed up all of his data there. It only took him a grand total of ten seconds, and half of that was deciding if he should put his name as the website title or not.

Once he was done, he figured he should at actually provide some way for his brother to find the website, so he looked around. Eventually, he found a post it note, and wrote the name of his website. Well, that was it then. He completed his purpose in life. The robot immediately went to one of the corners of the house, sticky note placed on his forehead, and started to power down and erase his existence from this physical form.

After all, no one really needed him, and he didn’t have the capacity to have his own dreams or goals. He’d literally be doing nothing in life except feel the pain of losing John. That was all he could do, and no one could change that. So, he began to shut off, simultaneously removing all traces of his existence- level T. Davebot felt his memories fade, one by one, and his most recent one with John froze in his mind. The robot smiled immediately, and then turned off, for good.

__

AN: Hey guys. So, yeah. Romantic development, and Davebot... well, there that is. I mean, he’s really meant to be Davesprite, so I’m keeping him just as miserable as he is in canon. Still, at least davebot can die. As long as the game functions and their session is open, I don’t think Davesprite could die, which is kind of worse. I debated dragging out chapters about just how miserable Davebot’s life could have been without a purpose, but I didn’t want this to get that deep. So, there’s character death I guess, but not in a dead sense. Sorry that I didn’t warn you guys earlier, but at least he got that cute kiss scene.

JAFNF Chapter 54

(Monday, March 8 th )

Dave looked down at the boy beside him, surprised beyond belief. John was still smiling from that kiss, but he looked a little worried. Dave thought over what the robot said. Was he really jealous? The blonde couldn’t ever recall feeling jealous, if his emotions towards John weren’t considered. The two were oddly silent that day, yet neither of them noticed. Both were far too wrapped up in their own thoughts, and they spent most of the walk to school in silence.

Dave still couldn’t fathom the fact that he was jealous over John, at least in the sense his robot copy implied. Sure, Dave felt jealous when his older brother totally outdid him in flash stepping that one time, or in a few other stuations. But that feeling still didn’t equate with the one he felt towards Davebot. Davebot, who kissed John on the lips made him ridiculously jealous, and he only figured it out now, moths later.

In hindsight, it was obvious. That was why it upset him so much- duh. Still, it was weird for Dave to think about. He wasn’t really coming to terms with his sexuality or something like that, a fact that he was thankful for now. Finding out that you had a thing for your best friend and having to deal with an issue about being gay- Dave didn’t even want to think about what that would be like. Luckily, he’d decided that he was anywhere from hetero-flexible to bisexual a while ago, even if he didn’t necessarily have the words for the concept at the time.

Once the pair reached the school, they each said their goodbyes and went into first period, two radically different subjects on their minds, and none of them were school related. Dave spent his class period wondering how John would feel about the aspect, then accidentally slammed his pencil down on his desk at a realization.

Had that robot been helping him, that entire time? After all, that thing did kiss John almost constantly, Could that have been conditioning, along with a jealousy plot? No, it couldn’t have been. That robot just loved John, and went for it as soon as he realized it. Then, more questions appeared in Dave’s mind. Did Dave like John? Did he love him? And, back to the robot. Why did Davebot love John? Was that a thing that grew over time, or was that a part of his original programming?

Dave’s mouth curled into a frown as a train of thought built inside his head. If part of Davebot’s original programming was to be in love with John, then that meant that the programmer had a hand in all of this. Dave looked out the window, as if it would give him the answers he desperately sought. Well, maybe the man couldn’t answer everything yet, but Dave did know one thing for certain. He needed to talk to his brother.

_

While Dave thought about John, John couldn’t keep his mind off Dave. Well, Davebot. His actions today worried him, a lot. John absolutely adored that kiss Davebot gave him- he may have had to be a bisexual after that. The moment was perfect, but John’s face curled into a frown. Maybe it was too perfect.  He didn’t know if a moment like that could be too perfect, but John was worried. Davebot just seemed so sad, when he should have been happy. What John needed was a conversation with Karkat. Lately, they’d spoken more often than just when they needed feeling jams, and the two grew into good friends once again. So, when their lunch period rolled around, John led a distracted Dave into the cafeteria, and while the blonde stayed somewhat silent and followed along with Nepeta and Equius’ conversation, John went off to go have a talk with Karkat in the desolated library.

“It’s about Davebot, Karkat. I’m worried about him.” John said, and Karkat looked at him quizzically.

“Really? Just last week, you said that his happiness counteracting measurer thing would be ready soon. Operation JB is still going, right?” He asked, and John sighed.

“First, I never agreed to call it that. It reminds me of Justin Beiber. Second, it’s something that happened today. I don’t know, it may not even be a big deal.” John said, and Karkat looked at him.

“Hey, John. If you’re worried about it, it’s a big deal. What’s up?” He asked, and John released a long exhale though his nose.

“Well, this morning, he took me on a flight. It was fantastic, and while we were still in the sky, we stopped and looked at the clouds. It was nice.” John said, and Karkat urged him to continue. “I asked him if something was wrong, because he looked sad, Karkat. I mean, he tried to hide it with his usual face mask thing, but I could still see that he looked upset, and I don’t know why. He never answered my question. Instead, he just kind of leaned in and kissed me. The kiss was fantastic, and I’m 90 percent sure that I’m at least flexible when it comes to sexualities and stuff, but it was what happened when he pulled away that really worried me. Dave was looking for me, and I saw his face. Even without normal eyes, he looked sad, and wistful. When he put me down, he looked like he lost something, and I don’t know what’s wrong.” John finished, and Karkat looked at him seriously.

“John, do you think he was trying to make that one scene, like, a memory for you?” Karkat asked, and John looked confused.

“Well, maybe, but we can always make memories. That should have been a good time for him, not a sad one.” John said, and Karkat looked down. “It felt so bittersweet, but I don’t know why. It was almost like he was… I don’t know.”

“Was it like he was saying goodbye?”

“A little, but we were just leaving for a few hours. Why would he want to say goodbye so intensely?” John asked, and Karkat looked worried too. Something about the situation was far too odd, and Karkat had to give John the best advice he could.

“John, I think you should check on him. Send him a text, or something, then make sure he’s okay when you get home.” He said, and John did so immediately. He pulled out his phone, and logged onto pesterchum.

Ecto Biologist (EB) began pestering Turntech Testified (TT).

EB: Hi, Davebot!

EB: I wanted to thank you for this morning.

EB: It was… well, it was perfect.

EB: I’m still in school, so I’ll see you when I get home.

EB: Oh, Karkat says hi.

EB: Bye!

Ecto Biologist (EB) ceased pestering Turntech Testified (TT).

John sat back, feeling a little less worried. When Davebot got his message, hopefully he’d feel a little better. So for now, all he could do was wait.

After seventh period ended, Dave said he had to cancel on walking John home. He had to have a conversation with his older brother immediately, and the man was already waiting for him. When he entered his truck, Dave started immediately.

“Hi Bro, thanks for picking me up. Did you program Davebot to be in love with John?” He asked casually, easily masking his true feelings on the topic. Dirk instantly turned off the music in the car. The man considered lying, but that would be stupid at this point.

“You clearly already know the answer. Are you trying to ask why I did it?” Dirk asked, and Dave looked at his older brother through the side of his shades.

“Yes, I am. Care to enlighten me on why you made the past month and a half hell for me?”

“I was trying to help you.” Dirk said, and Dave glared at him, hard.

“You meddled in my personal life!” He argued, and Dirk raised an eyebrow.

“It worked, didn’t it?” Dirk asked, and Dave looked upset.

“That’s not the point, and you know it.” They were close to their home now, and Dirk’s phone began buzzing. He looked down at it, then decided to ignore it. “I didn’t ask for you to do this, you know. There were easier ways to make this happen, and it didn’t have to involve me hating myself so much that I literally dropped him head first onto the concrete. You honestly thought that helped me?” Dave asked, and Dirk took off his sunglasses.

“Look, Dave. I’m not going to try to excuse myself, and I know there were some parts of this plan that were wrong. I probably shouldn’t have messed with your personal life, and I honestly did plan to tell John not to use variable T, but I forgot, and you can’t deny that it worked. I know you, Dave, and I know someone like John would have been good for you. And don’t try to high road me, I know that you’ve talked to Jake about me at least once.” Dave looked up at the man.

“I had a conversation with the guy who was currently dating my brother. The keyword is dating. I didn’t make it happen, I just talked to him, like every other sibling has done in the history of time. I wasn’t pushing you and my Biology teacher together because you ‘need’ each other. I’m not some thirty year old fucking otaku shipper, and even if I was, I wouldn’t act on it. Offering anything other than a suggestion was taking it too far. And making a robotic copy of myself make out with John until the break of dawn wasn’t cool either!”

“Hey, in my defense, that wasn’t what I thought Davebot would do.”

“I don’t care about how you defend yourself, you were wrong!” Dave shouted, and Dirk sighed.

“Fine, but I’m not saying sorry. I don’t regret this because it ultimately helped you, and I doubt that anything you do would change that.” Dave crossed his arms, then looked away from him. Dirk slipped his shades back on, and the ride was silent for a while, despite the fact that Dirk’s phone still buzzed. The man still ignored it, but Dave spoke up.

“Also, why did you give him wings? How did that help him?” Dave asked, and a ghost of a smile appeared on his brother’s face.

“I don’t know, he wanted it. He said it would help him be more ironic. I didn’t care, as long as he stayed as a good wingman and didn’t broadcast his existence to the world.” Dirk said, and Dave looked at him for a second, a smile he tried to fight growing on his face.

“A better wingman, huh?” He asked, and Dave snorted. “Wingman. Oh, wow. That’s ironic as fuck.” Dave said, beginning to laugh a little more. “Fucking wingman, oh man.” Dave continued to laugh, and his brother looked down, bemused by his brother’s reaction to his own irony. The boy stopped laughing after a while, and Dirk still decided not to pick up his phone. Then, Dave’s phone began buzzing almost constantly too.

“You can take it, if you want. It seems urgent.” Dirk said, and after offering his brother a slightly worried look, Dave picked it up.

“Oh, hello? John?” He asked, and his brother flashed him a smirk, until he saw Dave’s face change.

“In the car, next to me. Yeah, I’ll put him on.” Dave said, and held out his phone. “It’s for you.” Dave said, and he looked worried.

“Oh, alright. Hello, is this John?” His brother asked, and waited for a second. “What? That’s weird. Hold on, we’ll be over there soon.” He stopped again. “Oh, they’re not home. Well, I hope they don’t mind a hardware checkup. I have to stop home first, but I’ll be there.” Dirk said, then handed his phone back to Dave. “I need to go to John’s house, but I have to pick up my laptop first. I could just flashstep, unless you’re coming too.” Dave looked at his brother. He could forget how pissed he was at the man later, for now he just had to be there for John.

“John sounded worried. I’m coming.” Dave said, and Dirk nodded.

“Alright. We should hurry up and get there.” The strider said, and they left.

__

When John came home that day, his father was at work, and Roxy was gone too. That wasn’t what worried him. Usually, when John returned home, he received a greeting. Said greeting usually consisted of a flash of orange, and the word ‘sup’, along with his last name. John received no flash of orange today, and the worry he felt earlier crept up in his chest again.

“Davebot?” He’d called, and received no response. John walked around, looking for the robot. Evenutally he located him with a sticky note on his face, and shut down. He was on level zero, and John relaxed a little. He was just off, for now. John wanted to wake him up, then maybe talk about this morning. He hoped Davebot wouldn’t mind. With a practiced hand, John turned his switch to level T, and waited for his eyes to glow.

They didn’t glow. John’s worry came back again, and he tried the voice command turn on.

“Davebot, turn on.” John said in a loud voice, and the robot didn’t answer him again. The boy looked to the robot’s available panels, then flipped his switch onto level one. It worked perfectly, yet Davebot wasn’t responding. He checked his phone- no texts. Frantically, John tried to turn the robot on again and again, only to receive no success. John sharply pulled himself away, then picked up the phone. Something was wrong, and John hoped he wasn’t too late to fix it.

\--

JAFNF Chapter 55

(Monday, March 8 th )

The second Dirk rang the doorbell John sprinted to the door. He was there within a few seconds, and he hurriedly let the Strider in.

“Oh, Bro, thank goodness you’re here. I came home today and Davebot wouldn’t turn on.”

“What do you mean? Was his entire body off?” Dirk asked, and John shook his head worriedly.

“No, levels 1 through ten worked, but when I tried level T he just stood there. I tried the voice command, and everything else I could, he just wouldn’t turn on. I knew something was wrong this morning but I still didn’t ask him about it, and now this happens.” John said, a small tear forming in the corner of his eye.

“Don’t worry John.” Dirk said, trying to sound reassuring. “He probably just overheated- nothing a little re-wiring won’t fix, and I brought the kit. Now, was there anything you noticed about Davebot when you found him today? Was he hot?” Dirk asked, and John bit back a comment about the boy’s appearance.

“No, he felt normal, but he had a sticky note on his face. It had a website address on it, or something.” Dirk frowned.

“Can I see it?” He asked, and John walked back over to Davebot, retrieved the sticky note, and handed it to Dirk. The man read it for a second, then started pulling out his laptop and wires.

“Sorry John, I hate to do this since it is your house, but could you give me a minute? Dave is still by the door.” He said, and John took that as a cue to leave. He walked over to Dave, who looked at him with concern.

“Hey Egdork, you okay?” Dave asked, and John sighed. He started leading Dave up to his room, and the albino complied immediately. Eventually, they ended up in the desired area, and John sat down on his bed, inviting Dave to do the same. He wrapped his arms around himself, as if he were cold. Dave saw goosebumps on his arms.

“No.” He said, and let out a breath he didn’t know he’d been holding. “What if he’s hurting? What if…” John stopped, and started again. “Dave, what if he doesn’t turn back on?” He asked, and Dave didn’t know what to say. “I mean, he was weird this morning, and I never asked him about it. What if he doesn’t turn on again?” John asked, horror setting in his tone. Dave put a hand on his shoulder.

“Don’t worry, he probably just overheated like last week.” Dave said, and as soon as the words left his mouth, he regretted them.

“What? This happened last week?” John asked, and Dave reluctantly nodded.

“It did, but Dirk fixed it. Remember how he was gone for that day?” Dave asked, and John nodded.

“So he got hurt and I didn’t even know?” John asked, but before he could respond, Dirk said his name. “Oh, coming!” He said, sprinting to get an update on Davebot. When John arrived downstairs, Dirk’s face didn’t betray any emotion. John immediately recognized it- it was a mask. Why did he have his mask on? “Bro, is he... okay?” He asked, and Dirk didn’t answer him. Dirk didn’t answer him.

“John.” He said instead, and John felt his heart beat faster in worry. “You said he seemed strange this morning- what happened? How did you know something was wrong?” Dirk asked, and John nervously answered.

“He seemed sad this morning. He was acting happy, but I could tell he was upset.” John said, and his voice sounded strained. “Why, what’s wrong?” John asked, and Dirk failed to answer his question again.

“He left this for you.” Dirk said, gesturing to his laptop. It had a strange, orange and red webpage up, and his name was written in gigantic letters. John looked down at the words, and read them aloud.

“John. In case you couldn’t tell from this website’s color scheme, this is Davebot. By now you’ve probably realized a problem- I can’t turn on. Don’t worry, training mode still works.” The boy swallowed, a million thoughts entering his head at once. “Please don’t be mad at me, and definitely don’t be mad at anyone else. It’s my fault that I’m not working- I deleted myself.” John stopped cold for a second, and barely noticed his cheeks get wet. Heck, he couldn’t get past that one sentence.

“John?” He vaguely registered Dave behind him, and John didn’t acknowledge it. He couldn’t.

“If-” John faltered. “If you’re wondering if Dirk can bring me back, he can’t. Sort of. I know you didn’t want me to do this, but I promise it’s for your own good. See, you may already know this, but I was built for a specific purpose. I’m a wingman. Yes, it was a pun. Anyway, as your wingman, my programming forced me to love you. Bro put that part out so that I would always want what was best for you and not grow selfish. But, things got complicated, and Dirk removed the fact that I specifically had to love you. Fortunately my feelings didn’t change. I still loved you, and I’m not sure that many things could stop that. But today, my job was done. I lived out my purpose, and that was basically the end.” John frowned.

“That still doesn’t explain why.” Dirk said, and John continued.

“Please understand, I did this for your benefit. it’s not like I really have a reason to exist after this, so I removed myself. Also, my existence would soon become a threat to your happiness, and my own core programming objectives. Trust me John, I’ve ran through all of the options and scenarios. There is no chance that my presence after this would do anything but make things harder for you. You’ll get what I mean eventually- I know the Striders do.” John swallowed. He almost lacked the ability to finish speaking.

“I know you didn’t want this, but I’m making the hard choice for you, for the greater good. Don’t think this was your fault- don’t blame anyone. You may be wondering about this morning. I wanted to make one last good memory for you, but sorry for not answering your question. I guess you figured out what was wrong by now.” John paused again, trying to keep a sob from bubbling in his mouth.

“Now, if you do try to bring me back, I’ve taken a few steps to ensure I won’t hurt you. You were always my top priority. So, I erased my memories and feelings- permanently. Dirk won’t be able to retrieve them no matter how much he tries. I did however, leave most of my programming on here. Just the basic stuff if he ever needs to build another Dave, but he won’t find my memories in there either. I’m gone John, but you really did make ‘life’, or whatever you call it, worth metaphorically living. Maybe that’s a little biased coming from me, but I’m sure Dave would say the same thing. John, you are everything to me, and I will always love you.” John took a deep breath, and stopped for a second to sob a little. He was nearing the end of the paragraph.

“With that, I want to say thank you to you John, and to Dirk for creating me, and especially to Dave for being a blind idiot so I could stay with you for longer. So, knowing that you’re probably reading this out loud right now, I’m giving your throat a rest. It must be tired from all I’ve said. Just know that I’ll always care about you, and I’m doing this for your benefit. It may not look like that now, but I am- I promise. Davebot out.” John looked at the message, read it again silently, and covered his mouth with his hand.

“I’m sorry, John.” Dirk said, and John attempted to choke back a sob.

“C-Can you bring him back? Bro, tell me you can bring him back. He wasn’t human…” John trailed off, tears still falling down his cheeks, and Dirk’s head turned towards the ground. He didn’t say anything- he didn’t have to. Immediately, Dave’s arms were around John, and he pressed himself into Dave as tears spilled down his face. Davebot was gone. He was gone. He was gone! John left him this morning and didn’t make sure he was okay- “I- I s-should have-” John tried to speak, but he found he couldn’t even finish the words. Dave closed his eyes behind his glasses, trying to make reassuring noises.

“Shh, John it’s okay.” Dave said, and John only shook harder. John’s dad returned home, and John didn’t go to the garage to greet him. When the man walked inside and found his son crying on the couch and being held by Dave, he looked worried and confused. Dirk immediately stood and ushered him away to explain what happened, and John continued to sob. Dave sat there, not quite reacting to what happened yet.

Eventually the tears stopped, but John didn’t move from his position, and neither did Dave. They sat there for hours, and John didn’t make any noise. Neither his parent nor Dirk disturbed the two. At one point, John shivered and Dave wrapped his arms around him again. Every glance back to the robot in the corner sent John into silent tears again, and Dave continued to hold him. He’d removed his sunglasses long ago, and they sat on the table next to John’s normal eyewear. Dirk looked thorough his laptop and the website. He had everything he needed to build another Davebot, except for the data that pertained to his relationships with people.

The worst part was that Davebot was right. Dirk knew John and Dave weren’t even thinking about it, but he did, thanks to his overly analytical mind. Of course Davebot’s presence would negatively affect their relationship. Dirk just wished he’d known about what he was building for him. Maybe, if he considered that factor, things could have turned out differently. But he didn’t know that factor. After all, Dirk and John wanted it to be a surprise. None of them could have anticipated this, after the changes Dirk made to Davebot’s programming. He thought he solved the problem, but he didn’t.

And that was just the beginning of their issue. Dirk didn’t know what kind of an effect this would have on his brother. While the younger Strider wasn’t necessarily thinking about it now, Dirk knew he would eventually. Maybe, because his brother wasn’t as analytical ad Dirk, it wouldn’t hurt him as much. Still, the idea that his copy committed suicide- well, Dirk never reacted well to it. He didn’t want his brother to feel hurt because of his actions, but he knew he couldn’t fix that now.

Eventually, John’s dad appeared, and asked Dirk about his progress. The man already explained that he was looking for a way to bring Davebot back. When he delivered the news that he couldn’t fully bring him back, the way John wanted, his father looked upset for both his son and the robot. They looked to the two boys on the couch from where they quietly discussed Dirk’s progress. Dave’s arms fell around John in a protective embrace. John in turn curled around Dave’s arm as if it operated like a lifeline, and in a way, it was.

“I can’t bring him back all the way, but I can help Davebot partially. John and I made a plan earlier, before all of this happened. If I could just reach my stuff, I believe I would be able to help him a little.” Dirk said, regret evident in his tone. John’s dad, the one he’d been speaking with, looked up and answered.

“If you’d like to Dirk, you can go home to try to fix Davebot. I would be more than happy to take care of Dave for the night, but I’d rather not disturb them.” He said, and Dirk nodded.

“If you could, that would be great. I’m so, so sorry about all of this.” Dirk responded, and Jacob looked up at him sadly.

“I just hope John and Dave are alright.” He said honestly, and Dirk agreed. He moved over to where Davebot stood, motionless, and picked up the robot. John didn’t even look up, and Dave pretended not to notice. The older Strider left without saying goodbye. Eventually, John’s father went to bed, and though it was late, neither John nor Dave spoke for hours. At one point, John did say something.

“Dave?” He asked, and the red eyed boy responded immediately.

“Yes, John?” He asked, and John looked down. Tears stopped a long time ago, but he still felt an ache in his chest.

“Thank you.” He said, and Dave rested his face on John’s head. They didn’t speak for a while after that, and at one point, John started dozing off. Crying really made the boy tired, and Dave couldn’t blame him when he fell asleep. That said, the vampire eventually closed his eyes too, and the pair fell asleep on the couch.

__

Okay, so I know this is a little short, but with the stuff I was adding, the document was going to get too long. So, you’ll see it next chapter. I mean, You guys have already known about Davebot’s death, but John didn’t. So, we’re dealing with grief now. Buckle up guys, I plan for this to be a bumpy ride to shiptown.

JAFNF Chapter 56

(Tuesday, March 9 th )

It was 10:00 am when the call came. Dirk called John’s home phone, and the sound of the ringing woke both John and Dave up. Jacob took the day off from work, and tried to answer the phone, but by then the two boys were awake. Both John and Dave felt a little disoriented, but eventually John stood up, allowing Dave to do the same. John’s dad noticed this and motioned for Dave.

“Dave, it’s your brother.” He said, and Dave, with a little hesitation, walked to pick up the phone.

“Hello, Dirk.” Dave said, and Dirk responded.

“Dave, good morning. I left last night to work on Davebot. Are you alright over there?” He asked, and Dave sighed.

“I’m okay.” He said, a somber tone to his voice. Dirk wasn’t surprised.

“That’s good. You don’t have to go into school. Whenever you want to come home, you can. I can pick you up. I cancelled our meeting with the council for today, so we’ll need to make it up later.” Dirk said, factual as ever.

“That’s fine. I’ll call you when I need to, I’m just-”

“It’s okay Dave, make sure John is alright. I’ll see you later.” He said, and the blonde hung up, prompting Dave to do the same.

“Is everything alright, Dave?” A new voice asked, causing Dave to turn around. It was Roxy. Dave impulsively felt the side of his face, making sure his glasses were present (they were) then answered her question.

“Yeah, my brother just had to cancel a meeting. He says it’s okay if I miss school today.” Dave responded, positioning himself next to John again. John looked up.

“School?” He asked, sounding more upbeat than usual. Almost immediately afterwards, his face morphed into what may have been the saddest expression Dave had ever seen. He looked like he was about to cry again, and Dave immediately squeezed his hand in a silent show of support. John looked at Dave gratefully, then fell silent.

“You don’t have to go, John.” His father said, and John just nodded before responding.

“Oh, thanks.” He said, and the four of them stood there for a few minutes, all lost in their own thoughts.

“John, you know if you need to talk, your father and I are here, right?” Roxy said, and John nodded.

“Me too John, we’re here for you.” Dave had to add, and John believed them.

“Thank you, I know.” John said, and Roxy reached over to ruffle his hair. After a while, both Roxy and Jacob had other things to do, and Dave and John retreated to John’s room. They sat in silence for a few minutes until Dave spoke up.

“John, what happened this morning? You looked okay for a second, but then you looked sad. Do you want to talk about it?” He asked, and John stopped for a second, but decided he would.

“Yeah, I would like to. You deserve to know anyway. Well, Davebot always give me a goodbye kiss before school, so yeah.” John said, waiting for Dave’s reaction. Dave didn’t say anything, and John continued. “I guess we were sort of dating. I mean, it was really complicated, but we were. I always made an effort not to show you, because I didn’t want to make you upset.” He said honestly, and Dave sighed.

“John, you’re my best friend in the world. You could have talked to me about it, but I understand if you wanted to keep it a secret. It would have been okay.” Dave said, and John looked at him, unconvinced.

“Really? I didn’t think you would feel comfortable with something like that.” Dave let out a sigh.

“Look John, I’m not going to lie. When I found out that you two were dating, it did make me a little upset, and a lot uncomfortable. It wasn’t for the reasons you think though- it was something different. I just didn’t realize it at the time.” John blinked at the admission.

“You knew? When did you find out?” John asked, and Dave sighed.

“A little over a month ago. It was at training, and you didn’t know I was there. It was when he kissed you after dropping you off from Karkat’s house.” Dave said, immediately opting against saying Davebot’s name. John’s face grew warm.

“Oh, I remember that one. You knew all this time?” John asked, and Dave scratched his head awkwardly.

“I did. I mean, you guys were a little obvious.” Dave said, biting back the part about that being on purpose.

“I wasn’t trying to be. Honestly though? I didn’t really know how to feel about it for a while. He was my friend though.” John said, and proceeded to add more. “He said you may not feel like that towards me because he knows me under a different set of circumstances. So, I guess that’s why I was willing to give it a try. I never meant to make you uncomfortable.” John said, and Dave dismissed it with practiced nonchalance.

“It’s fine. I mean, yeah, it was kind of weird that my best friend was kissing a robot version of me every time I looked away, but I can’t judge you on it. It’s like you said- it was a different set of circumstances, and that means it was different from you and me.” Dave said, and John rubbed his neck awkwardly.

“Yeah.” The pair sat atop John’s bed, and Dave looked down at the sheets.

“Wait, did you two kiss here?” Dave asked, and John’s facial temperature rose. Immediately, the vampire sprang up. “Dude, I don’t want to be sitting where you two have made out!” He said, and moved to the chair. The boy sat down for a second, until John spoke up.

“Uh, Dave?” He said, and Dave stood again.

“Not here too! Is anywhere in your room safe?” He asked, and John bit his lip, then looked around.

“Um, the desk is okay. Not the desk chair, but the actual desk.” John said, and Dave looked at him incredulously.

“Even the window? People could have seen you! I could have seen you!” He said, and John crossed his arms.

“What would you have been doing outside my window?” John asked, and Dave muttered something along the lines of ‘Daydream 63’, but John could have heard him wrong.

“That’s not the point John. How did he even do it?” John looked at him a little bashfully.

“I am not telling you that.” Dave put a hand on his heart, staggering as if he were hurt.

“John, I’m so hurt. I thought you could tell me anything.”

“Not this, Dave! That’s weird!” He said, and Dave offered him a fanged smirk.

“You seem to enjoy it.” He said, and John rolled his eyes, but thought about it.

“I really did.” He commented, then looked down. “I miss him.” Immediately, Dave was back beside John. His voice grew quiet.

“I know.” Dave said, and closed his eyes. “I know.” He said again, and John shook his head.

“Yeah. Well, he said it was for some purpose. I wish he could have talked to me about it, or something.” John said, then looked down. “He said he’d see me in seven hours- he lied.” John said, his voice getting quiet. He looked back at Dave, his tone completely changed. “He lied, Dave!” John said, and Dave was glad he had his sunglasses on. John was starting to get angry, but he knew it wasn’t directed towards him. “Dave, why did he lie?” He asked, his voice getting quiet again. John felt like crying again, but the tears didn’t come.

“Maybe he said it to protect you.” Dave tried, and John whipped around towards his friend.

“How is this protecting me? How is his death helping me? I’m still hurt by it, Dave! It hurts!” He said, his voice raising to a shout. Dave’s eyebrows rose and he stepped back, surprised by the outburst.

“John-”

“No! He died, and it still hurts me- how is that helping anything? How is that protecting me, at all?” John yelled and asked him, and Dave didn’t know what to say.

“I don’t know John, it’s not like he told me he’d do this either. I’m not him.” He said, and John’s tone softened.

“I know.” John said, his voice getting quiet, and Dave accepted the apology for what it was. “He could still be alive in there though, right?” John asked, and Dave frowned. “Maybe Bro has part of him backed up somewhere that he just wasn’t remembering before.” John said, thinking out loud. Little wheels turned in his head, and a metaphorical lightbulb turned on. John’s face hit up with determination. “Hey, during that last checkup he did at your house, he viewed the footage! Maybe we could find it in his computer, somewhere. I’m going to ask him about it!” John said, and immediately the boy stood up and looked around his room for his cellphone. He found it, and started dialing Dirk’s phone number.

“Uh, John. I’m not sure if-”

“Shh, Dave! He picked up.” John said, then immediately started speaking into the phone.

“Uh, hello? Is this John?” Dirk asked, and John sat up.

“Yes, it’s me. I had a question.” John said, and Dirk raised an eyebrow on the other end.

“You sound upbeat. What do you need, John?” He asked, and John sighed into the phone.

“Okay, well you know how you reviewed Davebot’s footage at your house a few times after training, right?” John asked, and Dirk nodded slowly.

“Well… yes. Why?”

“Do you think you could find it and re upload it to Davebot?” John asked, and Dirk frowned.

“Maybe? I don’t think so though, I was only using this computer as a projector. I still had the stuff coming in directly from Davebot.” Dirk said, trying not to make the boy disappointed.

“Could a friend of mine try?” John asked, and Dirk looked suspicious. “He’s really good with computers- it’s how Dave found me and Karkat after that roadtrip from before, when everyone became friends!” John said, and Dirk seemed skeptical.

“If- Look, I usually don’t let people go through my stuff, and anyone can hack a GPS.”

“I think he can do it. Can we just let him try?” John asked, and Dirk made an uncomfortable noise in his throat.

“If you really want to, I can let him. Just don’t get your hopes up, okay John? Davebot really covered his tracks. This wasn’t spontaneous. I really think he had a reason behind this.” Dirk said, and John was barely paying attention after the man agreed.

“Okay, thanks Bro! Bye!” He said, and hung up. “Now, I already have Sollux’s pesterchum because of Karkat. Maybe he’ll see it soon, even with our school’s sucky connection.” He said, not really talking to Dave. The boy quickly scrolled though his notes, copied the handle, and got to work.

Ecto Biologist (EB) becan pestering Twin Armageddons (TA)

EB: Hello Sollux, I was wondering if you could do me a favor?

tA: What can ii do for you, John?

EB: Oh, I didn’t expect you to respond so fast.

tA: My mental iinternet connection ii2 unbreakable.

tA: Anyway, diid you want 2omethiing? II am 2tiill in 2chool.

EB: Oh, yes!

EB: Okay, so I was wondering if you could do me a favor.

EB: If someone viewed something on someone else’s computer, could you still find it there?

tA: Potentiially, ye2.

tA: Why?

EB: I need you to find some Data for me. It was deleted from the original source, but they saw it on Dave’s brother’s computer, and I was wondering if you could pull it up.

tA: ii can, a2 long a2 dave’2 brother ha2n’t deleted iit. can ii have a favor iin return for doiing iit?

tA: ii kiind of have thii2 ii. o. u 2y2tem.

EB: You can have anything, Sollux. Money, favors, I don’t care, as long as I can get this.

tA: This is more than a stupid school project, right?

EB: You wouldn’t even know how much more it is. It’s very important to me.

tA: fiine, ii'll check iit out, and iif iit'2 doable ii'll giive you my priice. iit may not be monetary, ju2t a2 a warniing.

tA: oh, and can ii briing equiiu2? he want2 two meet dave'2 brother.

EB: You can bring the whole robotics team, I don’t care. I’ll deal with whatever consequences I have to face.

EB: He’s worth it.

tA: okay, whatever you 2ay. ii'll meet you at your place after 2chool, and we can go to Strider’s from there.

EB: Sounds good, thank you so much!

tA: Woah, you can 2ave the thank2 for when ii actually do iit. II don’t charge before ii’ve actwoly done what you want.

tA: 2ee you later.

Twin armageddons (TA) ceased pestering Ecto Biologist (EB). John looked back to Dave, a determined smile on his face again.

“He said he’d do it! So, Sollux is coming over later, and then we have to go to your house. I can’t wait to bring him back.” John said, and Dave uneasily agreed. “I mean, he couldn’t really be gone. Not all the way. He wouldn’t really do that, right?” John asked, and Dave shrugged.

“I don’t know. This is still a good idea to try though Egbert, but don’t-” Dave stopped himself, looking at the hopeful face of his friend. “Never mind.” He said, and John shrugged it off.

“Okay. I can’t wait to see him again. Then, I’ll have to ask him why he did all this. Anyway, do you want to do our homework now, since we’re not in school? I feel like we should still make an attempt to be good students.” John said, and Dave shrugged.

“Sure John, whatever you want today, you know?” Dave said, and John nodded.

“Okay, I’ll get my backpack. Oh, you don’t have yours.” John said, and Dave frowned for a second, before shaking is head.

“I actually do. I brought it in with me.” Dave said, and John brightened.

“Fantastic, let’s work.” And they did.

JAFNF Chapter 57

(Tuesday, March 9 th )

When Sollux arrived with Equius, John was at the door in seconds. They shared a car since Sollux usually rode the bus, and the pair barely removed their fingers from the doorbell when John answered it. Dave stood behind him, and after offering him a few greetings, they all moved to different vehicles. Before they left, John took the time to explain all that was going on, and they entered their separate rides. John took his car along with Dave, because he hoped to bring Davebot back home with him. Sollux and Equius took the same vehicle, and the four boys rolled out.

As John drove with Sollux and Equius behind him, Dave spoke up.

“Hey, John.” He said, and John looked over.

“Yes Dave?” he asked, and Dave let out a sigh.

“Do you think that maybe, and this is just hypothetical. I mean, it’s just conjecture. But, do you think that Davebot doesn’t want to live anymore?” He asked, and John looked at him, then offered him a little laugh.

“Oh, no way Dave. Just because he wrote that in the letter, it dosen’t mean anything. He probably thought he was protecting me some way, but once he realizes that I’m okay, he’ll probably understand that he didn’t need to die. I mean, he loved me, right?” John said, and a small smile graced his face. “And I love him too.” He added, and for the second time that Day, Dave was glad that he had his sunglasses.

Once John spoke, Dave realized that John wasn’t miraculously speeding through the grief process. No, he wasn’t as okay as he was acting or as he thought he was. Dave could tell. Still, John really had his heart set on this, and Dave knew he couldn’t stop him. When they pulled into his driveway, Dirk opened the door to find four high schoolers when he only expected three, at the most.

“Oh, hi?” He said, and John looked up at the man.

“Hi. I brought Sollux, the guy who’s going to find Davebot for me, and Sollux brought Equius because he’s interested in your engineering, or something.” John said, and Dirk nodded.

“Right. Well, come in. Sollux, The laptop I used is downstairs. Don’t mess with my files, they’re important. And Equius, I guess I can give you the grand tour, if you want. Don’t share my stuff with anyone.” He said, and Equius nodded, while Sollux looked bored.

“Of course, I wouldn’t dare share your information, it would be utterly uncouth.” He said, and Dirk gave him a little shake of the head in approval.

When the quartet went downstairs, Sollux opened the computer, bypassing the passcode in seconds. Dirk wasn’t impressed yet, but he still noted his skill.  Dave stayed in the room with Sollux, watching with rapt fascination as his fingers moved across the keyboard in a quick fashion. While he did that, John and Equius followed him around his robotics work room. As expected, the area had a distinct smell of motor oil and a multitude of wires, but things appeared to be in place. They strode by the area where he worked on his present for Davebot, and Equius, who previously offered a pleasant multitude of questions, asked another.

“What is this?” He asked, and Dirk immediately answered.

“This, is Jadebot. She was close to being done. We wanted to use her so that Davebot could fall in love with her, to help him get over John’s lack of feelings towards him. He said she understood him the best, so we decided that she’d be a suitable candidate.” Dirk explained, and Equius looked confused for a second.

“Wait, is her core objective to be in love with Davebot?” He asked, and Dirk slapped the robot’s shoulder.

“Yep, that’s the idea. Took some real coding on this one, but she was nothing like Davebot.” He said, and Equius frowned.

“Forgive me, because I may just not understand something. But you made her to fix an issue where Davebot was forced to feel unrequited emotion towards John, correct?” He asked, and Dirk nodded, but John piped up.

“Well, it’s not really unrequited anymore. I sort of fell for him.” John said, and Equius looked alarmed.

“Wait, so he felt the same way about you, and he deactivated himself, yet you’re trying the same thing again with another robot?” Equius asked, and Dirk looked down at the teenager and frowned.

“What do you mean?”

“Well, you were attempting to make Jadebot fall in love with Davebot, so that he could get over another person that he was also forced to fall in love with, right? I feel as if you’re trying to solve a problem by using the same solution twice.” Equius said, and Dirk frowned.

“Oh no.” He said, and put a hand over his forehead. “I didn’t even think about it that way, but you’re right. Shit, you’re right.” Dirk said, and Equius raised his eyebrows.

“You’re a genius technician. You never considered this?” He asked, and Dirk shook his head.

“Not once.” He let out a long sigh. “Wow, kid. Well, how am I going to solve this now? I would have to change her whole core objective. But what would I change it to?” He asked himself, and Equius shrugged.

“I wouldn’t know. Maybe something along the lines of happiness. Change both of their goals to the pursuit of happiness, and they wouldn’t have to be forced to feel emotions they want or don’t want.” He said, and Dirk sighed.

“Hm, good idea. Still, I’ve never really done something like that before. Have you?” He asked, and Equius shook his head.

“Definitely not, I’ve never had the privilege of working with such high class robots. It’s incredible that you do all of this.”

“Hm, you say that, but I still never thought about what you said earlier. I ‘m no genius, and I don’t think messing with my brother’s love life like this is right, if I can’t think of things like that.” Dirk said, and Equius shook his head.

“No, you can’t give up now! You’re doing ground breaking things most people only dream about- you need to continue.” Equius said, and Dirk raised an eyebrow.

“Well, I’m in no position to continue like this- at least, not alone. Maybe if I had a partner, it would be different.” He said, placing a hand on his chin. “Would you be open to helping me with this?” He asked, and Equius practically exploded, but kept his calm professionalism. Dirk liked it.

“I would be honored to have such an opportunity.” He said, and before John could be completely left out of more of their conversation, Sollux said his name.

“John, come in here.” He shouted, his voice lacking its usual apathetic qualities. John rushed in to look at the computer screen.

“Did you find it?” He asked, and Sollux frowned.

“Not what you’re looking for. I found something for you, though.” He said, and John looked at the screen.

“Dear John,” he read aloud, and the boy already felt a sinking feeling in his stomach. “Okay, if you’re reading this, I just wanted to say thank you. This may not be the first place you’ve looked- if so, the message is pretty similar. I don’t know how long its been since you found out, but I think it was sweet of you to go to Dirk’s computer to find my memories. You can’t find them here, I deleted them, John. You probably haven’t figured out why I did this, but it is for your own good, John. So, like I said before, you won’t find my memories. I’ve deleted everything, John, and you can’t find it. I am gone. Please, please move on. I know you still love me, but there’s something better right in front of you. You just can’t see it yet. I know you think that I’ve failed not to hurt you, but that’s not what I was protecting you from. One way or another, you were going to go through grief. That’s not what I protected you from by removing myself from your life. If I stayed, you would have made mistakes that you would regret for life, involving Dave. I can’t let that happen John, for a multitude of reasons. So, stop trying to find me. Again, you know I’ll always love you, John. But you need to stop searching for me- I don’t want to be found. Not if it hurts you, and right now you don’t think it will hurt you but I will. I love you, and I can’t let you pay for it with my selfishness. This is goodbye, John. Don’t continue searching.

I love you.

-Davebot.”

Davebot pasted that message over every video file of Davebot’s weekly memory review from Dirk. John scrolled through, then looked down at Sollux.

“So, can you not find it?” He asked, and Sollux shook his head.

“This guy covered his memories, John. I don’t think anyone can find them, including him. I’m sorry, John.” Sollux said, and John stood up silently.

“No.” Both Dave and Sollux looked at him, confused.

“What?”

“I said No. This isn’t the end- do you guys realize what this means? There’s more ways to find him, we just haven’t thought of them yet.” John said, and Dave frowned. “He said he left messages in other places. That means we just haven’t thought of all of it yet. And that means that there’s still a chance that we can find his memories again, and restore him!” John said, and after sharing a look with Sollux, Dave walked over to John.

“John, I don’t think we should keep looking.” John whirled around towards Dave, confused and hurt by the sentence.

“What? Why would you say that?” He asked, and Sollux excused himself before Dave responded.

“Look, he’s literally asking you not to find him. Until you know what he’s protecting you from, maybe you should listen to him. He wants to stay out of your life for whatever reason, and I think you should let him.” Dave responded, and John glared at him. The boy already removed his sunglasses, and John responded, looking at him straight in his red eyes.

“Dave, you’re wrong. Why do you really want me to stop looking, huh? What’s your endgame?” He asked, and Dave froned.

“Endgame? John, I’m trying to help you.”

“By telling me not to bring my boyfriend back?” He asked, and Dave blinked. John had never used that term before, and it made him feel squishy inside- in a bad way.

“Yes Egbert, I’m telling you not to bring back the person who loves you so much that they’ll protect you until their death, and apparently beyond. He’s trying to help you, John!”

“He doesn’t get it. You definitely don’t get it! You keep acting like you’re him, but you’re not! What we had was different, and I don’t care if it started with a program, because he cared about me without the programming too! You’re not Davebot, so stop trying to act like you know what he would want!” John said, and Dave glared at John.

“I’m not Davebot, but I’m Dave! I know if I was trying to protect you from something, I would do it, and I wouldn’t want all of my efforts to be undone even after I’ve explicitly told you to not do that! He’s literally already told you what he wants, you’re just not listening to him. You’re being selfish, John!” Dave said angrily, and John looked up at him angrily, blue eyes lit with rage.

“But you don’t get how we worked, I know now that he wants to be alive with me, he’s just not because he thinks he’s protecting me form something! But he’s not protecting me from anything, and all I want to do is explain that to him, or at least have him explain it to me so that I can choose if I want to be protected or not. I never even asked you to help, but you can’t stop me! I love him, and he loves me. I know you never liked Davebot, but I’m not going to tolerate you wanting him dead and stopping me.”

“This isn’t about if I like him or not, it’s about you! I want to stop you from wasting years searching for clues that won’t come or ideas about a robot you don’t need! So excuse me, as your best friend, I’m trying to stop you from going insane over some high school romance you had! Davebot won’t even matter to you in ten years!”

“Yes, it’s all about you liking him or not liking him. If this was Jadebot or Rosebot or Karkatbot, you’d be helping me! But you’re not, because for whatever reason, you have it out for Davebot, even if he’s someone I care about! Admit it, so that I can just go home and figure something else out! You don’t like him, and that’s impacting your judgment on the situation. I’m not going to stop looking for him. I love him, and that’s more than I can say for you! If you were really my friend, you would be supporting me, despite the fact that you didn’t personally like Davebot. Because newsflash, I’ll say it again, I love him! You can either join me or leave, but I don’t want to stop!”

“It’s not impacting it. I’m just trying to help you, as your friend! But fine, you go and look for him and don’t ask me what to do when you finally figure out that he doesn’t want you. That was never even his goal, to end up with you! You’re just being selfish and blaming me for it because you can’t get over the fact that your stupid robot boyfriend killed himself. Well, get over it! You’re not going to find him, and I hope you never do!” Dave shouted, and John looked at him, his once fiery expression of anger now cold.

“Fine.” He said, then opened the door to the room. He immediately exited, then looked over at Sollux. “Do you need a ride home?” He asked, and the boy shook his head, deciding against speaking. John turned and ran out of Dave’s house after that. He quickly entered his car and Drove home. The boy found that he was extremely angry, and immediately went to his room, then closed the door, and proceeded to avoid interaction for as long as possible.

He felt like crying, yet at the same time he wanted to punch someone’s face. He was frustrated, and he wanted nothing to do with Davebot.

“I’ll bring you back Davebot- I promise.” He said to himself, and he intended to do it.

JAFNF Chapter 58

(Thursday, March 11 th )

John stayed mad at Dave for a few days after that. At one point, he heard a knock on his room door. He didn’t respond to it, and eventually, the person on the other side of the door spoke up.

“John, can we come in?” Roxy asked, and for a minute, John didn’t say anything. Then he let out a sigh.

“Yes, come in.” He said. They had no cake with them this time, and John was still obviously angry. “Did you need something?” He asked, and his parents both wanted to speak at once, but Jacob ended up going.

“We wanted to know how you were doing. What happened at Dave’s house?” He asked, and John crossed his arms.

“I’m fine. Dave said something that upset me, but he doesn’t even get it!” John said, and Roxy looked at him, caring clear in her face.

“Get what, John?” She asked, and John frowned.

“Well, I found out that there may be another way to bring Davebot back, but Dave said I should stop trying, then he said I would be wasting my time looking for him, and that Davebot never even wanted to be with me. He said I was selfish for trying to bring him back!” John said, and his parents frowned.

“What did you say to him?” Jacob asked him, and John frowned.

“I just said that I wanted to keep looking for him. I even told him that he didn’t have to help me do it! Then he said stuff like that to me, and I know why! He just wants me to stop looking because he doesn’t like Davebot. I get that he may not have gotten along well with him, but wanting him to stay dead is just mean, and definitely more selfish than what he’s saying I’m doing!” John said, exasperated.

“Maybe he was really trying to help, John. I think he gave you the best advice he could, he just… phrased it wrong.”

“Saying I’m selfish isn’t just phrasing it wrong, and saying that never comes from a place of caring.” John argued, and Jacob immediately stood.

“I know what this discussion needs.” He said, and took John’s hand, pulling him off the bed. John reluctantly followed him down to the kitchen, and he led him to ‘the red cabinet’. Of course, this was just a cabinet filled with red rimmed boxes. All of them were Betty Crocker cake mixes. Roxy looked sick at the sight, but John’s father gestured to the array of foods.

“Pick one.” He said, and John, still upset, decided to go for the first one he saw- a cookie mix. His father immediately got a bowl, and Roxy frowned.

“Are you making cookies instead of talking about your actual issues?” She asked, placing her hands on her hips. “I will never support that batterwitch. Any other company is fine, but this one? No, I can’t be a part of this. When you’re ready to talk John, come visit the guest room. I’ll be there.” She said, and John nodded. In all honesty, he really just felt like being alone.

“Hey, that means more stress baking for us. Get the ingredients, and keep talking.” His father said, and they launched into a session of baking. Jacob told him to wait for preheating the oven, and John complied.

“Well, I’m mad at Dave! He shouldn’t have said that, but he did.” John said, and his father spoke back to him while putting ingredients in a measuring cup efficiently.

“Did you say anything you shouldn’t have said?” He asked, and John’s lips curled into a frown.

“He deserved it.” John said, pouring the mix into the bowl. He eyed the eggs, and John’s father clicked his tongue disapprovingly.

“Ah ah John, eggs always come last. Well, have you considered that he feels the same way?” He asked, adding in some oil.

“He wouldn’t have said that if he felt the same way. I didn’t deserve it, he did.” John said, huffing. His father handed him the bowl.

“Mix this. Are you sure? Would you have changed what you said, now that you’ve had time to think about it?” John started stirring, then thinking about his words, and Dave’s. The boy immediately started stirring faster.

“Maybe.” John said,  then frowned. “But he shouldn’t have said that.”

“You shouldn’t have said what you said too, right?” His father asked, and John sighed.

“…Maybe.” He said, then his stirring slowed down. “You’re right. But I still want to try to find him.” He said, and John’s father put a hand on his shoulder. Dough started to form, and he looked down at his son.

“I believe you have the discretion to make the best decision. But try considering what Dave said too, okay?” he said, and John nodded.

“I will. I just miss Davebot.” John said, and his father smiled a little.

“I’m sure you do. Just think about why he may have done what he did. Maybe you’ll figure something out. Also, stop stirring that now.” He said, and John did. Immediately, John’s father put a sheet of plastic over the mixture and placed it in their refrigerator.

“Do I heat up the oven now?” He asked, and John’s dad faltered.

“Wait for a few minutes. Set a 30 minute timer, then you can preheat. We still have to cut out the cookie shapes.”

“Okay, what do we do while we wait?” He asked, and his father found six oven mitts, then placed a pair over his hands.

“Oh, I think Roxy can help you with this one. It’s fun, trust me.” He said, walking over to the guest room door. He knocked, and the woman immediately responded.

“If you’re trying to make me support the batterwitch, you can forget it!” She said, and Jacob laughed.

“No, we’re just killing time. Come out!” He said, and Roxy hesitantly opened the door, only to be met with a weak punch to her face. She dodged it, and before she could ask questions, Jacob smirked. “We’re doing oven mitt boxing. Care to join us?” He asked, and Roxy rolled up her short sleeves.

“As long as mine are pink.” Jacob handed over the pink pair, then returned to John with Jane’s old blue ones. Roxy seemed to recognize the pair, and John looked up in confusion.

“What are we doing?” He asked, and Roxy answered for him.

“The ultimate game of stealth, skill, and control.”

“Laser tag?” John asked, and Roxy put a hand over her chin in consideration.

“Well, no. Okay, it’s the second most ultimate game. We’re doing oven mitt boxing. Have you ever boxed, John?” She asked, and John looked down for a second.

“I haven’t boxed before.” He said, and Roxy grinned.

“Perfect!” She said, and went for an uppercut. John jumped out of the way, and noticed his dad roll up his sleeves. Immediately, the trio moved out into an open area, and their match began. John was jumping, punching, and giggling for a few minutes, until the timer went off. They had fun, and ultimately declared Jacob the winner, before removing the gloves from their hands. Jacob moved to the refrigerator and took out the now cool dough, then got behind John and Roxy, who were washing their hands in the sink. They started heating the oven.

After a few minutes of hand washing, they stood with a rolling pin and the place they wanted to roll the dough out on. John pushed it out, then Roxy stood with their cookie cutters. They had a variety of shapes, and John chose one that looked like wind blowing. Roxy chose a cat, and Jacob found a skull that he liked. They placed the cookies on the sheet one by one, and a minute after they finished placing everything, the oven was ready.

As they placed the cookies in the oven, Jacob spoke up.

“So, Roxy, are you having fun?” He asked, and Roxy shrugged, but voiced her assent. “That’s good, so now you can’t hate Betty Crocker, right? Because you had fun baking her products, you know.” He said, and Roxy’s expression dropped into one of surprise, then horror.

“You tricked me.” He said, and Jacob smirked.

“You admitted it.” He said, and John offered his father a high five. Roxy immediately put on the oven mitts again, and glared at him.

“You’re dead, Jacob. Traitor, you keep points.” She said, jokingly referencing John. He sat back, and Jacob put his green gloves on again.

“I’m ready when you are, Lalonde.” He said challengingly, and John stood in between them.

“Okay! Get ready for the ultimate, WWE showdown!” He said, trying to sound like a referee, and imitating the voice well. “Folks, we want a good, clean game tonight! The match is set for-” He looked back to the oven timer, and used the number of minutes they had remaining. “Thirteen, no, twelve minutes! Headshots and groin shots don’t count, body punches only! Ready? Go!” He shouted, then jumped out of the way.

Immediately, Roxy and Jacob circled around each other. Roxy did a little jab, faked to the side, and ended up getting Jacob in the side with a light punch.

“Oh, and Lalonde starts out the match with a nice point! Will Egbert be able to match her skills?” He said, and John’s dad smirked. He turned around for a second, confusing Roxy, then spun around and went for a punch on the side.

“Ooh, and a nice one for the Egbert! We’re all tied up people, hold on to your seats!” He announced, and almost instantly, the two started doing a fast trade of punches. “Wow, look at this, I can hardly keep track! No one’s focusing on defense anymore, that’s an eight and a nine for Egbert, while Lalonde is at a crushing eleven points! This match is running out of time people, one minute on the clock! Get in your final punches, make those final bets!” He shouted, and Jacob hit Roxy again.

“ Okay, Ten.. nine…” Roxy got in another punch, and Jacob did the same. “ six, five, four…” He shouted again, and Jacob got in two more punches. “ three, two,…” John said, the two were tied, and Roxy hit Jacob one more time in the chest before the timer for the cookies went off. “One! Oh goodness folks, Lalonde wins it with her final punch, and the crowd goes wild! I can’t believe it people!” He said, and Roxy smirked. John offered her a high five that she gladly received, and Jacob ran off to take the cookies out of the oven.

“I still got you to admit it, Roxanne!” He said over his shoulder, and Roxy put a hand on her hip.

“You wanna go?” She asked. “Because I think it’s already clear who wins.” Jacob put the cookies down to cool, then rolled his eyes.

“So, you beat me at boxing. I’m still the winner here, because I have the cookies.” He said, then looked down at John. “Oh, and the ref always wins, because he gets paid. In cookies.” He added, and Roxy just shook her head.

“Whatever you say. John, are you feeling better now?” She asked, and John blinked. He’d almost forgotten his situation, at this point.

“I… yes, I am. Thank you both.” He said, and Jacob smiled, then ruffled his hair.

“Any time, John. You fix things with that Dave, okay?” He asked, and John looked down, and put a hand on his arm.

“I- I will.” He said, and looked up at the two. The trio moved back to the couch, and he looked up at his parents. “How did you… get over mom?” He asked, and John’s father sighed.

“Definitely in the least acceptable way possible. You should ask Roxy about it, I think her response was better than mine.” He said, and John looked towards Roxy.

“Well, I kind of did what you’re doing now, John. I got really, really angry at one of my closest friends- Jake. I don’t know why, but I kept trying to blame someone. I blamed him, I blamed myself, I blamed Jane, for crying out loud.” She said, then frowned. “Then, it hit me. There was no one to blame, Johnny. It wasn’t anyone’s fault, except for… you know, and we dealt with that already. I got upset for a while, to be honest, but after a while I accepted it.” Roxy said, and John looked up.

“But I can’t accept it, when I know that there may be a way for me to bring him back. Dave just doesn’t see it that way, but it’s true!” John said, and Roxy shook her head.

“John, some things happen for a reason, and from what Davebot said, the reason was an important one.” She said, and John looked down.

“But, if I talked to him, it could have been different. I knew he was upset, but I never asked him about it. If I had asked, maybe we could have stopped it, operation Jadebot could have worked.” John reasoned, and this time, Jacob shook his head.

“No, there’s nothing anyone could have done. You have to understand that, John.” He said, and John looked up at his father.

“How? I just can’t help but think that I could have done something.”

“Johnny, I know it’s a hard thing to think about, but it’s true. You’ll realize we’re right eventually.” She said, and John sighed.

“Okay, if you say so. It’s like I know you’re right, but I can’t accept it.” John said, and Jacob nodded.

“I understand, John. But if you ever need us, we’re here for you.” He said, and John nodded.

“Thanks. I think I want to go back to my room though.” He said, and Roxy stood up.

“Wait, you have to at least try a cookie, Johnny!” She said, and John looked up.

“Oh, right, okay.” Roxy handed him one of his wind cookies, and he put it in his mouth, then walked towards the stairs. He just needed some time alone, for now. Jacob looked up at his son, worry on his face, and Roxy walked up behind him.

“He’ll be okay, Jacob.” Roxy said, offering his hand a little squeeze. Jacob looked back, while he wasn’t ungreatful, he still felt worried.

“I wish he didn’t have to go through this.” He said honestly, and Roxy sighed.

“Don’t we all? But he has to- you know that. You can’t protect him from this any more than he can bring Davebot back. But he has support. I know he’ll be okay.” She said, and Jacob sighed.

“I know. Thanks, Roxanne.”

“Any time, Jacob.”

__

AN: Hi! Okay, so I thought you guys deserved a cute chapter, because of all of this heartbreak. Seriously, everyone gets a break. So, stress baking ‘fillers’ are here to help you. I hope you enjoyed this as much as I enjoyed writing this. Grief is a hard thing to deal with, and if I’m doing any parts wrong, or you think I could write it better, let me know. I’ve never dealt with the death of, like, a romantically involved loved one before, so when it comes to writing about Jane and Davebot, let me know how it goes.

JAFNF Chapter 59

(Thursday, March 11 th )

That night, while John was with his family, Dave wanted to be alone. He even rejected his brother’s idea of a strife, and for the first time ever, Dirk let him. He guessed that part of it was the guilt he felt about his involvement with the situation. Whatever though, Dave honestly couldn’t care less. He felt pissed, because John couldn’t see what was obviously true. Plus, he stepped over some lines, and suggested that he was a horrible person.

(Thursday, March 18 th )

About a week later, Dave still wasn’t better from this whole ‘John Egbert’ situation. The two hadn’t spoken, and ignored each other’s presence the entire time. Karkat tried to talk about it, but Dave refused. John didn’t even try to apologize, and Dave didn’t either. Sometimes, he felt like his life revolved around John Egbert, and that pissed him off. Dave sat in his room in silence, just seething, until his phone made a little ding and blinked green. The vampire ignored it. Then, he heard another ding. He still sat there, determined to ignore the sound. Then the ding sounded again, and again. Finally, Dave picked it up.

Garden Gnostalgic (GG) began pestering Turntech Godhead (TG).

GG: Hi

GG: Dave, I feel like we haven’t talked in forever

GG: Oh, I guess you’re busy now?

GG: Well, respond when you can

GG: See you!

TG: Hi, Jade.

GG: Omg Dave!

GG: Hi! It’s nice to talk to you again!

Dave couldn’t help it, a little smile appeared on his face. Jade always made him feel better, even before she knew what was wrong.

TG: You too, Jade.

TG: So, how are you?

GG: Oh, I’ve been great! I’ve been talking to Karkat more often, and I see Calliope and Tavros all the time.

GG: What about you?

Dave thought about it for a second. He could have said he was fine, but that wouldn’t help him solve his problems. In fact, Jade was probably the opportunity he searched for to rant and cool off about John, instead of a strife.

TG: Meh, slightly better since I’m talking to you again.

TG: It seriously does feel like it’s been forever.

GG: Dave, you’re too kind.

GG: But that also means that something is wrong in vampire world- what’s up?

TG: I had a fight with John.

TG: A really, really bad one.

GG: Ouch, what happened?

TG: Well, he was dating this robotic clone of me, but the robot basically committed suicide.

TG: Davebot, the robot, had a reason for it, but he couldn’t share it with John.

TG: Now John’s trying to bring him back to life, even though he’s said that he wants to stay ‘dead’, for John’s benefit.

TG: And John doesn’t even know why he wants to stay ‘dead’, but instead of trying to figure that out, he’s trying to bring him back to life even though he’s taken a multitude of steps to ensure that never happens.

GG: So, where did the fighting start?

TG: I told him that he should let Davebot stay ‘dead’, at least until he figures out what he was protecting him from by dying.

TG: Then, he got upset with me, said that I was only telling him that because I just want Davebot to stay dead because I never liked him.

TG: He implied that I’m not really his friend, just because I wanted to keep him safe and not let him get all crazy over someone that wasn’t even meant to be with him, as a part of his programming.

GG: That sounds complicated.

GG: But you said he died, right? And John’s still trying to bring him back to life?

GG: Then he got angry at you when you were only trying to help?

TG: Yeah. He’s being uncool.

GG: Dave, I don’t think he means what he said to you.

GG: He’s still grieving Davebot’s death.

TG: He seemed fine right before he found out that we couldn’t revive Davebot the way we thought we could.

TG: He was happy, and everything.

GG: He was in Denial, Dave.

TG: What?

GG: Okay, I heard about this thing that everyone goes through when they lose a loved one.

GG: It’s like, the five stages of grief.

TG: I saw that on the Simpsons when I was like, eight.

GG: I’ll take your word for it.

GG: The point is, he was denying that Davebot, as you said, was really gone.

GG: Because he’s trying to revive him.

TG: That doesn’t explain why he got so mad at me.

GG: Well, maybe he was slipping into stage two

GG: It’s Anger, I think.

GG: I’m sure he didn’t mean to direct it towards you, Dave.

GG: It just happens when you lose someone- that’s usually how you react, as a human being.

TG: That doesn’t make what he said right.

GG: No, but he’ll apologize for it eventually.

GG: I really don’t think John lashed out like that on purpose.

GG: He’ll probably regret what he said.

GG: Did you say anything that may have made him angrier?

Dave thought about it for a minute.

TG: Well, not to make him angrier.

TG: Just because what he said first upset me.

GG: No offense Dave, but you did just use ‘he started it’ as your argument for why you were right.

TG: …What stage is after that?

GG: Uh, I have to look it up, I know it’s DABDA.

GG: I’m not excusing his actions, you know.

GG: I’m just explaining why he may have done them.

GG: He may not even know he’s going through these stages.

GG: But he is.

TG: Really?

GG: Well, I could be wrong.

GG: But I think I’m right.

GG: You guys still are best friends.

GG: You know that hurt people hurt people, Dave.

GG: I really think that he’s just lashing out because he’s hurt over Davebot’s death.

GG: I mean, when my grandfather died, I didn’t have anyone physically with me to smooth it over.

GG: Just be glad that you can be there for him now, you know?

TG: Yeah.

TG: Okay, yeah. You’re right Harley.

GG: I hope so. I hate hearing about you two fighting.

TG: Oh, really? You act like you don’t yell at Karkat every time you see him.

GG: That’s different.

TG: Why, because you do it more often?

GG: Whatever, Strider.

TG: Oh no Jade, you’re not getting out of this.

TG: When was the last time you two fought?

GG: It’s not really fighting.

GG: I mean, it is, but he’s not trying to be a jerk about it.

GG: I don’t hate him as much as I’m sure I imply that I do.

TG: Wow, Karkat must really push your buttons.

TG: You’re, like, the nicest person in the history of the world

TG: How is it possible for you to hate anyone?

GG: I don’t hate him.

TG: So, you like him?

GG: I mean, we’re friends.

GG: It’s kind of weird.

TG: You’re a werewolf and I’m a vampire and so is Karkat and we’re all on good terms with each other.

TG: I know and hang out with hunters on a daily basis, and you’re related to one.

TG: How weird do you think things can get?

GG: Reality is stranger than fiction.

TG: The only thing that’s fictional here is your lack of a relationship.

TG: Seriously, He’s either talking about you, talking about Rom coms, or talking about you and Rom Coms.

TG: And you always bring him up, whenever we talk.

TG: Sorry, but I’m warranted some fucking suspicion.

GG: Well, I suggest that you deal with your own friendship issues instead of peeking in mine, Dave.

GG: Seriously, work things out with John.

TG: Geez, I will. It’s just going to be awkward to apologize.

GG: Are they supposed to be fun?

TG: Whatever, Harley. Aren’t we supposed to be talking about you, with gentleman’s honor and stuff?

GG: Sure Dave. Just change that subject.

GG: But if you want me to talk about myself, be warned that I live alone.

GG: PM ended up returning to America.

GG: And I hang out with Calliope and Tavros pretty often.

TG: Oh yeah, how are they?

TG: I haven’t talked to Tavros since our trip.

GG: They’re good!

GG: I always go hanging out with Calliope, and we drag Tavros along when we shop.

GG: Half the time, he just duplicates the outfit for us, and Calliope insists it’s a part of his training.

TG: Yeah, sure.

TG: Use Tavros for his magic powers- smooth Harley, real smooth.

GG: In my defense, I feel like I’m just third wheeling them, not Tavros third wheeling us. They have some sort of student/ teacher/ friend relationship.

TG: I don’t think that changes anything.

TG: You should try doing stuff that he likes

TG: Hell, I’d like to hang out with him sometime, we just never stayed in contact.

GG: How about this weekend?

TG: Sure. Will it be me, you, him and Callie?

GG: That’s the plan, unless you wanted to invite someone else.

TG: Got anyone in mind, Harley?

GG: I haven’t hung out with Karkat IRL in a while.

TG: Mmhm.

TG: What’s a while, like three minutes?

GG: One month, four weeks and four days, Dave.

TG: It’s nice to know that you keep track

GG: Shut up!

TG: Heh, never. But that sounds fun. Do you still live on your island?

GG: Sometimes, but I only go there when Calliope drops me off.

GG: I usually just live in apartments in big cities.

GG: It’s fun to move around, and see people all the time.

TG: Have you ever considered living with your uncle?

GG: Actually… no.

TG: You should give it a try.

TG: Rose just returned home to finish school.

TG: Then, hopefully she’s transferring back down here for next year.

GG: Wow, really?

GG: Hm, that’s a good idea.

GG: So that I’m not breaking the law anymore.

TG: Woah, what?

TG: Harley, are you a criminal?

TG: Are the police desperately searching for you because you’re a threat to national security

TG: You’re the leader of an anti government organization, aren’t you.

TG: Running around, trying to make a coup d’etat

TG: Oh damn Harley, I could probably rap about that

GG: No Dave oh my gosh calm down

GG: It was a custody thing from a few years ago.

GG: I was legally supposed to go live with my uncle after my grandfather passed.

GG: But I was recently bitten and became a werewolf.

GG: And he was a hunter. He was worried people would find out.

TG: Ah, okay.

TG: That rebel thing would have been cool too though

GG: I’m in no position to run the government

TG: But you are able to run a multi-million dollar business by the time you turn eighteen?

GG: I’ve been preparing for that my whole life.

GG: And running a business isn’t the same thing as dealing with politics

GG: Plus, I doubt I could take over the government.

TG: You sound like you’ve considered this before.

GG: Maybe I have.

GG: You never know.

TG: Oh man, you are going to aren’t you?

GG: Ha ha Dave, you’ll have to wait and see.

TG: Yeah, in a fallout shelter.

GG: You think I could make a nuclear bomb?

TG: You are pretty good at chemistry.

GG: You old charmer. Flattery won’t get you everywhere.

TG: It can get all the ladies to swoon.

GG: Oh, do I see a girlfriend in your future?

TG: Nope, no time for that.

TG: Too busy being cool.

GG: Really? So you’ll never have a love life, just because of how committed you are to irony?

TG: Not nessesarily. I mean, I’d like to eventually.

GG: Oh my gosh Strider spill.

GG: Who??

TG: What?

GG: You know what. I’m a teenaged girl, I love this romantic drama stuff.

GG: Tell mee!!

TG: Tell you what?

GG: Duh, who you’d like to have a love life with!

TG: I said eventually.

GG: That means you’re considering someone.

GG: Spill Dave

GG: Let out all your romance to mee

TG: You’ve been spending too much time with Karkat.

GG: You’ve been spending time with someone!

TG: Not time like that.

GG: Oh, come on Dave.

GG: You can be more open about this stuff!

GG: You and Rose are exactly the same. You never tell anyone about your love life, even though I know you want to.

GG: And Rose is always curious but never good for giving out anything.

GG: She never updates me on her relationships! And neither do you.

TG: Are you saying John does? Because you didn’t include him in that statement.

GG: More than you. He’s so excited when it comes to that whole romance thing.

TG: Wait, who did he talk about?

GG: You don’t know?

GG: What?????

GG: Wait, how did you not know about him and Davebot?

TG: Oh.

TG: No, yeah, I knew.

GG:  ΘεΘ Skeptical.

GG: Well, did you know about Jadebot??

TG: What?

TG: What’s a Jadebot?

TG: Shit, did my brother do it again?

TG: Wasn’t Davebot enough?

GG: He’s making Jadebot for Davebot, so he has a friend who understands him.

GG: I think it’s pretty nice of him.

TG: I don’t!

TG: We already saw what happened with Davebot, now he’s doing it again?

TG: He’s always meddling in people’s personal shit.

GG: He looks badass and is, but at the same time he loves anime.

GG: You can’t expect him not to be a shipper.

TG: I never got that vibe from him.

GG: That’s the point. He’s kind of a closet shipper, but he doesn’t make a visible effort to hide it.

GG: And you never even know he’s doing it until the ship happens.

GG: He’s a true ship master.

TG: Wow.

TG: That’s so problematic.

TG: Seriously I am amazed.

TG: Unironically too.

GG: Did you just have your mid teen crisis

GG: Because your brother is an otaku?

TG: I don’t even know. Wow.

TG: I think I need to sit down.

TG: Well, metaphorically, since I’m already sitting.

GG: Wow Dave, I don’t know if I can help you through this.

GG: You should have Rose analyze you.

TG: Oh no, that would be even worse.

GG: Haha, that would be funny, but probably helpful.

TG: I will never do that ever. Please no.

GG: Suit yourself!

GG: Don’t come crying to me when you need a full analysis of your brain when you need to rethink your entire existence

TG: Wow Jade, so cold.

TG: You think you’d help a friend out, huh?

TG: Instead of throwing me to the shrinks

GG: I could tell Rose you called her that

TG: She’d say thank you.

GG: She probably would!

TG: I should probably say thank you to you too

GG: Why??

TG: For helping me get out my John stuff.

GG: We’re friends Dave, that’s just what we do.

GG: But tell me how it goes.

GG: Gotta keep a girl interested.

TG: Is my life just you and my brother’s shipping entertainment?

GG: Don’t forget Calliope.

TG: Wow Harley, there are no words.

TG: Just none.

GG: How about you’re welcome?

TG: How about no. I take it back.

GG: Nooooo!!

GG: Well then, I guess that means I have nothing to lose at this point

GG: Who’s the lucky girl/boy?

GG: I’ll even tell you mine first. I don’t care.

TG: I already know yours, that’s not a deal.

GG: No you don’t!

GG: Anyway, tell me. You probably haven’t been able to talk to anyone about it yet, right?

GG: Do you have mixed feelings about this person?

Dave looked at the screen, contemplating what he’d say. On the downside, he’d be sharing some things that he apparently kept bottled up for months, and that could get uncomfortable and long. Still, Jade was probably the person he’d trust with this anyway, and since his fight with John, he’d been bursting with emotion. Maybe this could be a time to straighten out everything. After all, he realized he was wrong when he talked to John too, and now he knew why he was saying those things. It made him feel bad for not being more sensitive. He was his best friend; he should have known that John wasn’t fine the day after a death like that happened.

TG: I do.

TG: I mean, it’s complicated.

GG: How?

TG: Well, I like them, and I was told that they felt the same way about me, they just don’t know it yet.

GG: Do you want to date that person?

TG: Actually, yes. I mean, we’re already super close, so dating wouldn’t be a stretch.

GG: Have you ever thought about kissing them?

TG: Yes.

GG: What would it be like?

TG: I don’t know?

GG: Okay, would they be taller than you, or shorter.

TG: They’re shorter.

GG: Oh my goodness I know what needs to happen

TG: … What?

GG: Obviously we have to roleplay it.

TG: What?!

TG: No Jade, I’m not a fucking otaku.

GG: And you’re not describing this epic kiss scene. I’ll be them, you be you!

GG: Come on!!

Dave looked at the screen and sighed. He was going to hate himself for this tomorrow.

TG: Swear you won’t tell Karkat about this. Or John! And Especially not Rose.

GG: EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!

GG: I mean, um yes, of course.

TG: I’m going to regret this so much.

GG: “Hey, Dave! What’s up?”

TG: “Uh… person. Okay, could I talk to you for a second, in private?”

GG: “Well sure Dave, let’s go!”

TG: We walk to a cheesy romantic setting to satisfy Jade’s weaboo dreams.

GG: (I’m imagining a giant garden, what about you?)

TG: (This is so stupid, but I guess that could work with flowers and shit everywhere.)

GG: (See, you’re coming around.) “Well Dave, what did you want to ask me, you tall, hot, blonde slab of 100% vampire meat?”

TG: (Jade oh my gog stop. No, please no.)

GG: (It was funny and you liked it.)

TG: “Well, I know we’ve known each other for a while. And I was wondering if you wanted to go on a date with me.”

GG: “With you as, like, my boyfriend?”

TG: “I mean, yeah. If you want. No pressure though, we can forget this if you just want to stay friends.”

GG: “Dave, that would be fantastic. So, the next time we hang out, can we consider it a date?”

TG: “Consider it done, Egbert.”

TG: Shit.

GG: Dave, oh my gosh!

TG: Please tell no one.

GG: No, of course I won’t! That’s just so cute of you!

GG: I know he’ll say yes if it’s you asking.

GG: Just be confident, and pull the cheesiest of cheese romance out you can.

TG: I’m always confident.

GG: You’re going to be blushing and stuttering, Strider.

GG: And it’s going to be so cute!!

TG: I’m not cute.

GG: But JOHN is.

TG: Well, yeah.

TG: I mean no!

TG: Shit.

GG: Oh Dave, that’s so sweet of you.

GG: Also Karkat already predicted it over a month ago.

GG: So if you could hold off on asking for, like, another week at least, I would be super grateful.

TG: You bet on if I would ask out my best friend?

GG: Well, kind of. It wasn’t an if question, more like a ‘when’.

GG: He has to stop calling me sleeping beauty!

GG: But it only happens if you don’t ask out John within a month and two weeks of when he predicted it, or vice versa.

TG: What does Karkat get?

GG: The same thing, but from me, and a different nickname.

TG: Who proposed the idea, and the penalty?

GG: Him.

TG: Smooth.

GG: What?

TG: Nothing Harley.

GG: So, please?

TG: Well, his birthday is soon.

TG: Maybe I shouldn’t do it then though, since that’s his special day, and you kind of want time between that and your date anniversary thing.

GG: When is your broniversary?

GG: Like, when you first met?

TG: How did you know about that?

GG: I have one with Rose. Plus, John was excited about spending it with you, in person.

TG: That’s perfect, it’s right after school gets out, on the 26 th !

GG: You know that’s going to be so cute, right?

GG: But you still have finals and stuff, how are you going to find planning time?

GG: Plus you have to take into account that you guys still aren’t officially made up.

TG: Oh man, you’re right.

TG: I’ll make up with him tomorrow.

GG: Remember, make up, don’t make out.

GG: You start the apologies, not him.

TG: But he’s probably still upset with me, I need another reason to talk to him

TG: Oh wait! I left my tablet pen at his house one time

GG: Perfect!

TG: Or I could just challenge him to a game of gay chicken and not back away.

GG: Not perfect, please don’t do that.

GG: That’s probably the worst thing possible.

TG: I could rap- serenade him outside his window on our broniversary.

GG: You’ll wake up his family. Please don’t do that, it’ll be awkward for both of you.

GG: I mean, really cute

TG: But awkward.

TG: Ouch, okay then.

GG: Start making up first. Come to his house and use your excuse if he doesn’t want to see you.

TG: You think that will work?

GG: It’s a good start.

GG: Do that, okay?

TG: I will. I hope it comes out right.

GG: Oh, and I’m sorry to cut this short, but I have to go.

TG: Is it Karkat?

GG: It’s 4 am, I’ve been up all night!

TG: Oh, okay. Well, goodnight Jade. Thanks.

GG: Yeah, sure. See you Strider.

Garden Gnostalgic (GG) ceased pestering Turntech Godhead (TG).

AN: Yay, another pesterchum chapter! Here you go!

JAFNF Chapter 60

PM put a hand on her hip. Yes, it’s PM. She walked around the small suburban area, looking for the correct house to deliver her letter. Eventually she found it, then moved down the neighborhood. A boom of thunder sounded above her, making her wish that she’d taken the truck today. Her entire route for today stood less than a mile away from her work. So, when the small postal office found that a truck wasn’t working and they were low on extras, she quickly volunteered to walk her entire route the old fashioned way. Still, she didn’t think it would involve walking in the rain, but as a few droplets fell onto her hat, she knew she’d have to.

Maybe she could get done quickly. After all, she only had two more stops, but then another problem arose. None of these mailboxes looked completely waterproofed, because the neighborhood was an older one. So, now she had to drop them off at doorways. With a sigh, she located the next house and did just that. A young child answered the door, and she handed him a small package and a coupon book. Afterwards, she left into the rain, and the boy shouted behind her.

“Thank you miss!” He said, and she offered him a wave, then continued. After the next house, she could just transform and run back to the postal station as a wolf, hopefully lowering her potential for a cold. After all, the late January rain was sure to feel cold. She knocked on the door of the last estate, and stood there for a minute, hoping someone would answer the door. After offering a doorbell ring and another knock, the woman decided that she’d just place the mail on the front porch with a note. She had post- it notes, but she remembered that she didn’t take a pen with her today. No one had to sign off on any packages, after all. The woman looked around for a second, noticing the worsening rain with dread. Luckily, she found a box of chalk on the doorstep, and she decided that she’d work with it.

After writing an admittedly messy note with the word ‘rain’ written on it, she attached the post it note to the mail, put it on the porch, and started to leave. Immediately, the door opened, and a man on a cell phone spoke into it, his voice apologetic.

“I’m sorry, but I can’t walk over there, I think it’s rain- oh. One moment please. Someone is at my door.” He looked and saw a woman standing there in a mail uniform. “Hi, how can I help you?” He asked, and then he noticed the stitches in her mouth. She smiled, and handed him a letter. “Oh, mail. Alright, thank you.” He said, and the woman offered him a little salute, then began to walk off into the rain. He noticed she didn’t have a mail truck parked nearby. “Ah, wait! It’s pouring out there, do you have a car with you?” He asked, a sentence to which she only shook her head in response, then shrugged. “Wait, I can’t let you go out there like that, you’ll get sick. Please, allow me to drive you wherever you need to go.”

She looked at him, a little confused. Then, she put her hand out in a ‘waving off’ fashion, letting him know that she’d be fine, but the man shook his head.

“I insist. As the mayor of this good town, it’s my duty to serve the people. You can either come inside until the rain clears up, or I can drive you home, but I have no intention of letting you walk in the rain.” He said, and she felt a little surprised. Political leaders never seemed so caring for the people, from their high stages. Still, apparently this one was different. Well, she honestly didn’t want to go through the trouble of transforming, so she accepted the offer with a grateful smile.

“I hope that’s a yes. We should go.” He said, then walked back into his home, encouraging her to follow. She did, and shut the door behind her. The man was evidently on his cell phone again. “I have to go, I’ll see you after I do this.” He paused for a second. “No, I don’t need a limo. I’m a citizen too, I can drive a normal car.” He hung up the phone, then looked to the woman again. “That was my secretary, advisor, and everything else that’s important. After I drop you off, I have to go meet him for a speech. Do you mind if I practice in the car?” He asked, and the woman shrugged at the slightly shorter man. “Thanks. You’re at the post office, right?” PM nodded immediately, and the two got into his car.

After a short ride and some political feedback, PM ended up back at work. She offered the man a wave, and went inside to clock out.

“Who was that? And I’m sure you noticed, but you left your whiteboard.” A man said, and she rolled her eyes, but held her hand out for the object. Her coworker gave it to her, and she started writing.

“The mayor!” She wrote, then continued. “I didn’t even know that I was delivering mail to his house today, and he offered me a ride back.” She wrote more, and the man let out a whistle.

“Wow PM, you’re delivering mail for high places. I hope you’re not trying to get some ‘political favors’ and break the law.” The man said, and she rolled her eyes but started writing.

“Oh please, A.R. He was just being nice, which is pretty good for a politician. Maybe you could take some notes.” She wrote cheekily, and he stood.

“Oh ha ha, PM. I’m nice, I just believe in justice.” He responded, and PM laughed as much as her stitches would allow her, but responded.

“There’s justice and there’s just no mercy. You really handed it to that kid that time.” She wrote quickly, and he looked up.

“Hey, he was messing with federal and public property. He’s just lucky that he didn’t go to jail.”

“You reported him to the police for continuously kicking a mail box. The damages weren’t even that bad, we just re attached it. And he was only eleven!”

“He’ll never do it again though.” He responded, and PM couldn’t respond. He had a point.

“Well, I’m clocking out. The trucks will be up tomorrow, right?” She wrote, and he responded immediately.

“Yeah, don’t want you getting any more political favors.”

“Whatever, see you tomorrow AR.”

“You too, Parcel mistress.” He said, and she smiled at the nickname, then walked out of the door. Ever  since the two started referring to each other by their initials, AR made it a mission to think up a nickname for her that went with it. So, he used a play on mailman to make a female version, Parcel mistress. Whatever. Eventually she headed home, and she turned into a wolf for the run there, then transformed again on her way back.

A few weeks later, it was mid February. She checked the date- the fourteenth. It had been a long time since she’d really done holidays, so her surprise when she found the postal office decorated in hearts was evident.

“What’s the occasion? I didn’t miss a birthday, right?” She wrote, only to see AR sitting there.

“No, it’s Valentine’s day? Have you not heard of it?” He asked, and her eyebrows knit.

“It sounds familiar. What’s the idea?” She wrote, and he smirked.

“It’s a holiday for couples and friends. You give each other gifts, and propose and stuff.” He said, and PM put a hand on her lip thoughtfully.

“That’s right! It’s been too long, I wish I hadn’t forgotten.” She wrote, and AR looked over to a bag in the corner of the room, then decided to pick it up.

“Well, I got you something, since we’re friends. I know you didn’t know about it, so don’t flip out.” He said, then offered her the bag. She blinked, then wrote on her whiteboard. “It’s just a little something that I thought you may like.” He said, and she showed him what she wrote.

“Really? You didn’t have to do that, I didn’t even know about this holiday.” She’s said, and AR rolled his eyes.

“It’s just a little gift. Open it!” He said, and when she did, she found a whiteboard with a black border and string like item on one side. She also found a marker attached to it, and it had an eraser on the other end. “You can carry it around your neck. And the marker is a magnet!” He said, and PM felt touched by the gift.

“Wow, I can’t thank you enough.” She wrote, feeling grateful. The man waved it off.

“It’s a gift. You’re one of the coolest coworkers I’ve ever had, even though I’ve only known you for, like, a month.” He said, and PM smiled.

“Thanks, AR.” She wrote and he crossed his arms.

“Yeah, yeah. Now, you have a new route today. It covers more places, so you’ll be in the delivery truck.” He said, and She smiled, taking the bag.

“Always ready to serve!” She wrote with a little salute, then went on to do her job.

Once she boarded the mail carrying truck, she started her route, and to her relief she recognized the area a little. After driving around and delivering mail for a while, she received a package. When she went to the listed address, she found it was that kind mayor’s home from earlier. She’s never properly thanked him. With her whiteboard around her neck, package in hand, and clipboard and pen in the other, PM parked on the street and started walking up the driveway.

Then, she stopped. Someone drew valentine themed sidewalk art all over his driveway, and it looked pretty cool. AR would have loved it, so she went back to the truck, got her phone, and took a picture. Then, she decided that she’d actually get her job done, and walked up to the front door, carefully avoiding the hard worked on art. She rang the doorbell, and this time he answered immediately.

“Oh, it’s you again!” He said, and she started writing on her board.

“Thank you so much for taking me back, I would have hated to be in the rain. Also, sign here please.” She wrote, showing him the clipboard. He did, and the woman smiled. “Also.” She wrote, causing him to look at the dry erase curiously. “Your sidewalk art is fantastic! It looks very cool.” The man blinked, then offered her a wide grin.

“You think so? This is my first time doing something like this, but I certainly enjoyed it. Thanks for your feedback.” He said, and she smiled, then started to leave. Immediately, another car appeared and parked on the driveway, proceeding to ruin the delicate coloring. “No!” He shouted, but by then it was far too late. PM looked back over to the mayor, then showed him her cell phone.

“I took pictures.” She wrote to reassure him, and the man brightened instantly.

“Oh, thank you! Here, can you send them to me? I’ll give you my personal line.” He said, and she just held out the device, expecting him to input the number.

“I’ll send them today.” She wrote, and the man handed back her phone. She looked at the new contact- Mayor Wyatt Vagabond. It said, and she smiled, then pocketed the device. The person who’d unintentionally ruined the pictures stood up and exited the car, then strode over to the man looking visibly upset.

“Wyatt, you have a meeting today! You better have an explanation as to why you’re talking to some woman instead of leaving, you should have departed two minutes ago! I swear, I really do all the work around here.” He said angrily, and PM turned around. His voice was familiar, then she saw his face.

“Jack, calm down. I had a package, and started a lovely conversation with this kind young citizen over the sidewalk art you ruined.” He said, and then Jack noticed her. The eye not covered in a patch widened in surprise.

“You.” He said, and PM looked shocked. She wanted to confront this man, this monster that tormented her for years, but she thought he was dead. The mayor understandably looked confused.

“Oh, Jack. Do you know her?” He asked, and the man, that vile animal snapped out of his surprise and hatred. He had a scar covering one of his eyes, and a definite frown on his face. His hair looked slicked back and professional, reminding PM of a businessperson that would steal all of her money in court.

“Not at all. Anyway, I’m getting back to my job, and you should be doing the same. Chop chop, Wyatt.” He said, and PM took a nervous glance at the mayor. As much as she wanted to ask questions to the man, she realized that this wasn’t the time or place.

“I’ll send you that art, Mayor Vagabond.” She wrote, and the man, looking bewildered, nodded.

“Right, thanks, miss…?” He said, and she wrote her initials on the whiteboard.

“P.M.” It said, and he smiled.

“PM. Okay, thank you again for the package.” He said, and she left to enter the car, questions racing across her mind. He was still alive, apparently. She’d recognize that face anywhere. She didn’t know if he still worked for… them, or what their deal was, but she knew she needed to find him again, and make sure he wouldn’t hurt anyone else.

__

A week later, she found herself at the mayor’s house for the second time, and from then on she grew suspicious. He’d been ordering items that cost under a dollar lately, and having them all delivered to his house. This was her route, and somehow, despite his job, he was always there when she came to the door. It confused her to no end, but she didn’t mind seeing the mayor often. He was kind, and enjoyed architecture and drawing.

She still sought out his assistant, or whatever Jack was. She had to see him again, because it was clear that they knew each other. Sometimes when she’d visit, he’d be there, but neither made moves to bring up their violent past, until she found an opportunity. The mayor invited her to one of his speeches and she immediately accepted. When the day arrived, she wore something other than her mail carrier uniform, and she looked nice, but casual. It turned out that he spoke at a carnival/ event thing, and Jack would be with the mayor sooner or later. They stumbled across a young woman doing sidewalk art.

She wore a pink hat, and added touches to what looked like a giant hole in the sidewalk. Once she was finished, she stood and allowed people to take pictures and pose. The mayor would have loved it had he not been doing work elsewhere in the event, so PM decided to ‘speak’ with her and tell him about it later. The woman, who was shorter than her, looked at the parcel mistress and beamed.

“Hello, did you want to pose in the art?” She asked, and PM thought about it.

“Yes,” She wrote, then looked at the artwork. “But I also wanted to ask you how you made it. It looks really interesting and realistic! A friend of mine really enjoys it, but he’s not able to come right now.” She typed the words into Google translate, then played them aloud, and the woman smiled gratefully.

“Oh, thank you! Well, if you need someone to take your picture, I can dearie. But it’s mainly about perspective and layering. Anyone can do it!” She responded, and PM blinked. She furiously typed into her phone, then played it as dialogue.

“Really?” It said in that monotone voice. “Dosen’t it take years of practice and art school to accomplish?” The woman pursed her lips.

“Well, everyone needs practice, and art school always helps, but I learned this on my own. Would you like to try?” She asked, handing her a grey piece of chalk. PM paused for a second, looking at the woman to judge her genuinely. She was honestly just offering a quick lesson, so she took the marker from the pastel clad woman, then bent down towards the sidewalk.  “Alright, start by drawing an oval.” She said, and PM complied.

As she taught her how to do it, step by step, a crowd of people began to form around them. They saw the sign- Sidewalk art by ‘Ms. Paint’, and they grew interested when they found her teaching someone how to do it. The people in the crowd included both the mayor and his assistant.

“And there you go, your first perspective artwork using sidewalk chalk!” She said, and stood up. She still hadn’t noticed the crowd, because something else distracted her- namely, the mayor’s right hand man, Jack.

“Hey, I didn’t know you were doing lessons now.” he said, moving through the crowd with ease. The woman, Ms. Paint, looked up and a smile appeared on her face.

“Oh, Jack! This woman wanted her picture taken in the other art, but I got distracted. Could you take one for her?” She asked, and PM looked up in surprise at the man that stood above her. He looked at PM, and it was clear that neither of them wanted to do it. Still, they both had the kind artist to think about, and with that in mind, Jack accepted.

“Of course. Step inside P- I mean, Ms.” He said, and the crowd started to dissipate when they realized that she wasn’t teaching it officially and was done with art for now. PM, after a moment of hesitation, handed Jack her phone, and he took her picture as she posed. The mayor stayed until they finished, and greeted them.

“Well, if it isn’t Michelle Paint. How are you?” He asked, and Ms. Paint looked up, surprised.

“Oh, Mayor Vagabond, what a surprise! I’m good as always.” She responded, and the mayor turned towards PM, his admittedly cute ‘elect me’ smile on his face.

“That’s good. I’m glad you could make it, PM.” 

“And here’s your phone, Pear.” Jack said, offering her the device. She looked at him suspiciously.

“Oh, right. Thank you… Jack.” She typed into her phone again. “And I wouldn’t miss the event for the world. I think it’s wonderful that you’re supporting childhood hunger with this fundraiser.” She wrote, and the voice said it.

“Of course. I like to reach out to the people.” The mayor said, then Jack spoke up.

“Well Wyatt, I hope this helps them reach back, for the sake of my paycheck. Also, you have some paperwork to do, and so do I, so we could go as soon as we can.” He said, and the mayor looked at his assistant, upset.

“All I did was my speech, we should take today off. I’m sure you can find something to fill the time at this event.” The mayor said, giving Ms. Paint a meaningful look, and she spoke up.

“Oh, yes! I heard there were two player games here, but I have no one to partner with. If you two stayed, the four of us could do them!” She said, clapping her hands together.  Jack took a look at PM and wanted to say no, but then he saw both his employer and Ms. Paint’s hopeful faces.

“Fine. But you can’t slack off tomorrow, or else I’m out, Wyatt. You can’t always stick the paperwork on me.” The man said, and the mayor looked up.

“Yes!” He said, sounding a little childlike despite the fact that he was an adult. Immediately, he grabbed PM’s arm. “They have a can stacking competition, for all the canned food people brought! I want to make an entire town out of cans.” He said excitedly, and PM had to smile a little at his excitement. It was refreshing, and she enjoyed it.

“Alright.” She typed, and the monotone woman’s voice read it. “We can do that.”

After a few hours of fun and a trip to the Ferris wheel, the four returned to their personal homes. When Peregrene settled into her bed accompanied by her cell phone, she looked through her messages and found a new one from an unknown number.

‘It’s been a while green p, we should catch up. Meet me at the ‘Exiles’ bar tomorrow at eight, in the back booth. Don’t bring the mayor or paint, they don’t need to be involved in this.”

-You know who.

PM reread the message, then gulped. She ran her hands over her stitched lips and knew this meeting had to happen. The mail carrier knew she’d eventually have this conversation with Jack, and all she could do was hope that she’d be ready for it.

__

So, I kind of neglected this whole PM subplot, but It’s important. I mean, it’s the actual plot of the story, aside from the romance. I don’t know, maybe I’ll move it up in the story, maybe not. But  that is important. I was looking for an equal focus on romance and actual plot for this, so forgive me if the mushy gushy takes a back seat some times.

Also, I know that many people aren’t fans of Karkat and Jade here, but I hope I’ve written them in a ship-able way. I mean, I feel like it could be cute, especially as one of those ones that transitions from black to red, but not in an unhealthy way. ((And seriously, that’s relationship goals right there- I mean, healthy blackrom? Sheesh, you don’t see that often.))

JAFNF Chapter 61

(Friday, March 19 th )

Dave took a deep breath before leaving his house the next morning. He checked his face in the mirror, and his older brother stood beside his doorway, unusually awake for this time of day, considering what he did. Dave actually smiled as he maneuvered through the house, and his older brother noticed this, and regarded Dave carefully.

“You look upbeat. Did something go right?” He asked, and to his surprise his brother didn’t even respond ironically.

“Nope, but I’m going to see John again and make up with him.” He said, and his brother looked surprised.

“Wow, good for you Dave.” He said honestly, and Dave looked at his older brother.

“Yeah, thanks. Jade is the best. Now, how do I look?” He asked, and his older brother snorted. That was it, there had to be something else involved here. Today was apparently one of the days when he planned to go to John’s house and walk him to school.

“You look fine. Do you want me to drive you? You can get to John’s faster that way, if you want . I can just drop you off there, and go back home.” He said, and Dave didn’t even look phased by his offer. The vampire was too distracted and happy, apparently.

“That would be great, thanks bro!” He said, quickly wrapping his arms around his older brother. Dirk hugged back, but the second he made contact Dave was off again, walking- no, skipping to get to the car. Sheesh, this John kid must have been something if he was doing all of this.

“You’re still going to school, right?”

“That’s the plan. Let’s get in the car.” He said, immediately looking at himself in the mirror, again. He tried to remove the happy, go lucky smile from his face and replace it with a more serious expression, but the second after he left the mirror it was gone again. He watched his brother, then a smirk hit his face.

Maybe this was a weird thought coming from a guy towards his younger sibling, but his brother was cute. His brother was ridiculously cute, actually. In fact, his brother was downright adorable when it came to this. Dirk couldn’t help but want to tousle his hair, but he knew his brother would never forgive him if he did that. Instead, he settled with awkwardly worded advice about life.

“So, you ready to talk to John? Are you asking him out today or something?” His brother asked, and Dave looked up, curious at his brother’s choice of words.

“I am going to talk to John, but I’m not asking him out or anything.” He said, then looked away. “At least, not today. He still needs time.” His brother smirked.

“Ah, so you have a day set, huh?” He asked him and Dave rolled his eyes, but responded.

“Yeah, after school ends, on the 26 th .”

“What’s the 26 th ?” His brother asked, and Dave spread his hands out.

“Our broniversary.”

“That’s fucking genius, little bro.”

“I know. I hope I do it right.” He said, and Dirk looked away. Apparently, what they considered as normal conversation just changed a lot.

“Got any ideas?” He asked, and Dave shrugged.

“Only daydreams 39 through 64.” He said, and his brother looked down at his younger brother, a strange expression on his face. “What?” He asked, and His brother smirked at him.

“Oh, nothing. Just remember Dave, you’re a Strider. Even if we’re in Washington, remember that you’re still as hot as a fucking Texas summer sun, and you can and will do this.” He said, and he looked at the boy. “Also it’s snowing next week, make use of the whole ‘I’m from Texas and I’m cold so please wrap me in your arms’ thing. Make use of your opportunities.” Dave narrowed his eyes suspiciously.

“Does that actually work?”  He asked, and Dirk smirked, then responded immediately.

“Jake seems to think so.” He said, and Dave scooted away.

“Bro, that’s gross. Don’t describe your romantic escapades with my biology teacher. Please.” Dirk rolled his orange eyes beneath his shades.

“I’m just giving you brotherly advice, Dave. Maybe this would have been a better method to try from the start.” His tone changed to one of regret, but Dave shook his head.

“No. Thank you for Davebot- it worked.” He said, and Dirk looked surprised, again.

“Really? I thought you’d hate me for that. I mean, I could have- no, I should have used some more tact. Sorry for messing around in your love life, Dave.”

“I don’t hate you for it. I just wish it didn’t have to upset John so much, but you couldn’t have expected him to do this.” Dave said reassuringly, and Dirk let out a long sigh.

“Yeah, well Equius is helping me make it up to him. Meanwhile, you help John feel better, okay?” He said, and Dave leaned back against his car seat.

“Don’t worry about that, I plan to put other things on his mind. Do you really think he likes me like that?”

“If Davebot can make John feel like that, I don’t think you have much to worry about.” His older brother said, and they reached John’s house. Dave got out of the vehicle, then Dirk rolled down the window as he drove away. “Knock him dead, Dave!” He said, and Dave offered his brother a thumbs up, took a deep breath, and rang the doorbell.

Before his hand even left the bell, the door opened to reveal John’s father, standing and looking distraught. Dave blinked, but before he could say anything, the man spoke up.

“Dave, I’m sorry, but John isn’t coming to school today.” His father said, and Dave’s eyebrows knit.

“Is he okay? I know we had a fight a while ago, and I wanted to apologize.” The man let out a long, upset sigh.

“John doesn’t want to see anyone. He won’t eat, or speak to us. He’s just sitting alone in his room, and he’s not asleep.” His father informed him, and Dave looked up, stricken.

“Wait, he’s not- I mean, his arms. He’s not hurting himself, right?” Dave asked, and John’s father hesitated.

“I… don’t believe so. We haven’t heard him walk or move to the sink yet. I’m sorry Dave, but he’s really in no condition to do much right now.” He said, upset. “Don’t worry though, this will pass. I was the same way with John’s mother, so don’t worry about it, it happens to everyone.” He said, and Dave gulped.

“If… If you’re sure that I can’t help… then okay. If he needs his space right now, I understand.” Dave said, and John’s father looked a little relieved.

“Thank you, Dave. We’ll keep you updated on how he’s doing. Try to have a good day at school.” He said, and Dave nodded in understanding. The man started to close the door, but Dave stopped him.

“Oh, wait! I still left my backpack in John’s car. May I get that?” He asked, and John’s father looked confused, but he nodded.

“Of course.” He said, opening the door. Dave headed over to the garage, already knowing what the house’s layout was like, and searched for John’s car. He found the vehicle and went inside, searching for his tablet pen. The garage was completely dark but Dave could still see, and he picked up the red item, then left the garage. John’s father stood by the door, and when Dave exited, he looked down at the boy. “Did you find your pen?” He asked, and Dave responded affirmatively.

“Yeah, it was right there in the car seat.” He said, and John’s father looked surprised.

“I’m surprised you could see, it’s pitch black in there.”He said, and Dave shrugged.

“I, uh, felt around for it. It wasn’t hard to find. Anyway, if John comes out tell him I came by. See you, Mr. Egbert.” Dave said, and John’s father had a weary, suspicious look on his face, but he waved it off.

“You too, take care.” He said, and Dave started the walk to his school, alone.

__

Once the day ended, Dave wanted to try John’s house again, but he had more lessons with Dolorosa. ((remember those? It’s still a thing.)) He’d gotten pretty good at basic vampire stuff, but he still had new things to learn and do.  He drank a ton of water today, and he’d consumed spinach (something about Iron, apparently.) so Dolorosa deemed that he was ready to try something new. Namely, he had to put his blood into something and resist the urge to rake it out. She offered him an apple, for the flesh- like feeling, and Dave tired it.

Fortunately, the apple didn’t have any blood inside it, so the urge to suck blood didn’t torment him. Dave tried to focus on the task at hand, but he was distracted. Thoughts of John entered his mind, and Dolorosa had to shout his name to get him to focus again. Dave thought about his teeth, and concentrated on pushing blood outwards. He envisioned squirting the substance out, so when it fell in little drops of O type blood, Dave wanted to speed up the process. Still, Dolorosa viewed it as a success, even though Karkat could do it better than him. After the blood dripped for a while, Dolorosa decided that he’d done enough, and Dave graciously removed his teeth from the apple.

And that’s when they realized they had a problem- Dave’s teeth wouldn’t stop dripping. Dolorosa frantically tried to show him how to staunch the flow, and after a few minutes and a few paper towels, it seemed to work. Luckily, all the blood missed the library’s carpet, and Dolorosa sent Dave to return home in his older sibling’s vehicle with a relieved and proud expression on her face. He was really growing into a good vampire, and she hoped that he would stay that way.

As Dave entered Dirk’s car, the older Strider was eager to hear about his results with John. When Dave told him what happened, he felt disappointed for his brother. Then, he got the phone call.

“Uh, hello?” Dave asked, and to his surprise, John’s father answered.

“Dave, it’s John’s dad. He wants to see you, if you’re available. I think he’s doing a little better.” The man said, and Dave answered in a calm, cool fashion.

“I’ll be there in ten minutes.” He said, and he hung up. His brother didn’t even have to ask, he just changed their course to John’s home instead. When they reached John’s driveway, Dave felt more than ready to burst in and greet John. He knocked on the door with anticipation, and John’s father answered.

“Ah, Dave! John’s in his room, you can go up. Also, bring him this, please.” He said, handing Dave two apples. “You can have the other one, John told us how much you like apples.” Dave smiled gratefully and headed up the stairs, then hesitantly knocked on John’s door.

“Dad, is that you?” A voice said from inside, and Dave smirked.

“Sorry, your parents are downstairs. Can I come in?” He asked, and John immediately responded.

“Dave, yeah, come in!” He said, and Dave immediately opened the door, then shut it behind him.

“Your Dad gave me this to give to you.” Dave started, and John took the fruit. Dirk departed from the house, and John’s parents were off doing other things.

“Thanks. So, about Tuesday.” John started, taking the apple. Dave cut him off before he could continue.

“Yeah, about that. I wanted to say sorry. I should have been way more understanding, and I said some things I shouldn’t have said. You just lost someone important to you, and I should have realized that instead of saying what I said. So, I’m sorry John. If you want to keep looking for those memories, I’ll support you.” Dave said, and John blinked, but shook his head.

“No Dave, you were right. I shouldn’t keep looking, that won’t help anyone. I just got so angry because I was upset that he left, but that was no excuse for me to say what I said. It wasn’t true.” John said, and Dave sighed.

“If you want to stop looking, you can. Bro is already working on rebuilding him, and making sure that doesn’t happen again.” Dave said, and John nodded.

“I understand.” John said, and Dave thought back to his brother’s advice. He spread his arms wide, and looked at John, trying to sound nonchalant.

“Friendship repaired hug?” Dave asked, and John blinked, then beamed.

“Friendship repaired hug!” He said ecstatically, then wrapped his arms around his friend. Dave let out a content sigh into the boy’s neck. He missed John, and he was glad to have him back again.

_______________________________

AN: Friendship repaired hug!

JAFNF Chapter 62

(Friday, March 19 th )

Soon, far too soon for Dave anyway, their hug broke up. Dave looked down at his apple hungrily, and he decided that he’d bite into it. Finally, he could enjoy an apple without dealing with blood inside of it. As he ate, John watched him for a few minutes, a strange expression on his face. Dave noticed John’s eyes on him, and he realized his friend looked almost intoxicated.

“Uh, John?” Dave asked, and the boy immediately snapped out of it, a little blood rushing to his ears.

“Oh, uh, yes Dave?” He asked, and Dave blinked.

“You should really eat your apple, I think your dad wanted you to have it.” He said, and John looked down at the food in surprise.

“Oh, right! Yes, I’ll do that.” He said, biting into it. Dave shrugged, and continued eating. He felt John’s eyes on him again, and before continuing, he moved his sunglasses to his white hair. Now his ruby red eyes flickered back to John’s face every few seconds, and when he finished the apple, John let out a sigh of relief.

“Uh, John?” He asked, and John froze, but looked towards his friend.

“Yes?” He asked, and Dave smirked.

“Were you too busy watching me eat to actually eat yourself? You know, the idea was for you to have food. I heard you didn’t eat much today.” Dave said, and John looked away.

“I, uh… oh, sorry Dave.” John said, looking down in defeat. Dave laughed a little.

“It’s fine, but I’ve eaten around you before, what was different?” He asked, and John put his fingers together uncomfortably.

“Uh, your teeth. They were showing a lot.” He said, and Dave put a hand to the side of his mouth. John was right.

“Oh, sorry. I forgot to retract them, hold on.” He said, but John cried out instead.

“Wait, don’t! They’re really cool.” John said, and Dave blinked.

“Really?” He asked, surprised, and John looked at him as if he were crazy. “I always thought being a vampire was fucking creepy.” He said truthfully, and John shook his head, lying back on his bed.

“No, it’s just different.” John said truthfully, and Dave turned to face him.

“Do… do you like different?” He asked, and John answered immediately.

“I like different.” He said, and Dave felt blood pool in his cheeks. Shit, he couldn’t get weird now.

“Thanks.” Dave said, and their conversation ended for a minute while John consumed his food.

“Oh, so how is the blood transfusing thing going?” John inquired, and Dave shrugged.

“It’s okay, but I’m still not as good as Karkat. My blood keeps coming out too slowly.” He said, remembering the day’s work. “And stopping the flow is hard.” He said again, and John looked genuinely upset for his friend before he had an idea.

“Oh, do you want to practice?” John asked, and Dave looked surprised.

“Practice, here? What about your Dad?”

“We can do it in my room.” John said eagerly, and Dave noticed how excited he was.

“Well, if you want to, we can.” He said, and John practically jumped up in excitement.

“Fantastic! I’ll get apples from downstairs, you stay here!” John said, and the boy rushed down the stairs. Dave almost wanted to stop him, but if John had an interest in his powers, Dave certainly wouldn’t deny him. After all, he had been a jerk to John, and he wanted to do anything to keep him feeling happy. After a few minutes and a few apples in John’s hands, Dave’s friend returned to his room. The vampire sat stretched out on the bed, and he had his headphones over his ears. When John opened the door, he looked up from his phone.

“Hey, did you get an apple?” He asked, and John scratched his head.

“More than one.” John responded, and Dave shrugged. More practice for him. He held his hand out for an apple, and John immediately provided him with one. He inserted his teeth into it, and tried to concentrate on something other than John. After a second or two, blood started to drip out of his teeth slowly, and John saw it eventually fill the apple, and ooze out. Dave removed his teeth from the apple, and John put his hands out. “Can I hold it?” John asked, and Dave blinked.

“I- well, yeah, sure I guess.” Dave said, and he handed John the bloody object. John handed Dave another apple, and this time, the blood flowed out faster. “I hink ips horking.” Dave said, and removed his mouth from the fruit. “Sorry, I think it’s working. Thanks for the practice, John.” Dave said, and John took the apple from his hands curiously.

“Can you do it again? You wanted to get to Karkat’s speed, right?” John said, and Dave looked at John, a little confused.

“I guess so. You really like this blood apple thing, huh?” Dave said, and John shrugged.

“I think it’s pretty cool.” John said, and handed Dave another apple. Immediately, the blood squirted out from Dave’s mouth, and Dave filled the apple fairly quickly. The apple started to expand, and Dave removed it from his mouth. He did it a few more times, and by the last one he did it instantly.

“John, I did it! That took like, less than a minute!” Dave said, and Immediately stopped the blood flow. John put his hand up for a high five. Dave slapped his hand, and John cheered.

“Nice job, Dave. Wait, so what else do you do?” John asked, and Dave shrugged.

“I can see pretty well in the dark, I glow, I track blood signatures- Why, did you want to see something?” He asked, and John moved to the light switch in his room, then turned it off. He closed the window, effectively darkening the area. John spoke up.

“Could you glow?” He asked, and Dave took a deep breath, but illuminated himself in the dark. He looked like a white light, and John gasped excitedly. “Dave, that’s so cool! Can I touch?” He asked, and Dave shrugged.

“Sure, Egbert.” Dave said, and put his hand out towards his friend. John put his hand atop his friend’s hesitantly, then grabbed Dave and pulled him towards him.

“Dave, it’s warm!” He said excitedly, and Dave couldn’t help it- he laughed. John was way too cute.

“Yeah, it’s like a light. It’s natural bio-luminescence at its finest.” Dave said, and John grinned. He pulled Dave near him, then put his hand on his sweatshirt. John crossed his arms.

“Wait, take your sweatshirt off.” He demanded, and Dave blinked.

“Uh, why?” He started, and John had an amused little smile on his face, but responded coyly.

“I want to see something.” John started pulling it off Dave’s body, and Dave decided that he’d assist in the effort, if only to divert attention from the sheer amount of blush that hit his face at that moment. Dave knew that if John wasn’t as effected by the sheer wonder that was vampirism, he’d never be doing this. Dave felt a little light headed, but he went with the situation anyway.

“What did you want to see?” He asked, and John didn’t respond, instead finding something new.

“Wait, Dave I think I’m right, take off your shirt.” John said, and Dave looked utterly confused.

“Why?” He asked, and John snorted behind his hand.

“Uh, I just wanted to check something, come on!” He said, and Dave rolled his eyes. John was too naive for his own good, and it didn’t help that Dave could imagine one thousand and one ways this scenario could go.

“Will you tell me what’s so funny?” Dave said, crossing his arms. John looked up innocently.

“Nothing is funny, Dave!” He said, and the black haired boy huffed. “Come on, take it off!” Dave almost believed him, but John’s  glance back down to his chest made him laugh again.

“Really.” Dave said, squinting. “Then why exactly are you laughing? What did you want to find out” He asked, and John shook his head.

“No, you’ll get mad!” John said, still laughing. Dave rolled his eyes.

“I want to know.” He said, and John continued his laughter, but eventually sobered up enough to respond.

“I won’t tell you until you take it off!”  John said, giggling. Dirk raised an eyebrow behind his shirt and smirked. He wanted to see how far John could go with this.

“Really, Egbert? Make me!” Dave challenged, and to his surprise, John looked at his friend with a familiar expression of determination. Maybe challenging John was a mistake, because Dave could feel the playful confidence oozing off the tone of the boy’s response.

“Your wish is my command.” John launched himself towards Dave in an attempt to pull his shirt off, and Dave fell back onto the bed to stop him.

“Agh, John, what are you doing?”

“I said you would regret it!” John responded in a singsong voice, and somehow the boy managed to pin John down. Maybe it was all that training, or the fact that Dirk had been easing up on the strifes lately. Either that, or Dave was too worried for John’s safety to try fighting back much. Whichever reason was correct, John eventually got him, and started forcefully attempting to remove Dave’s shirt.

Outside the room, John’s dad heard the copious giggles from inside the room. He turned towards the door, confused when he heard a loud pounding sound then more laughter, and he wondered what was going on.

“That’s enough John!” Dave shouted, his t-shirt now covering his face. He felt John’s weight on his stomach and tried to see his friend through the cloth. “Tell me what you’re looking at, now!” John just laughed more, now in delight more than amusement. He snorted, but after receiving Dave’s best attempt at a hard look through a t- shirt, he got off from atop him, and moved to his desk. In an instant, he had a sharpie in his hands, and grinned.

“Wait, one second Dave. Let me just-” He drew a curved line on Dave’s chest, and Dave tried to flip away.

“John! What the fuck?” He cried, and John laughed.

“No, let me see!” Dave saw the marker in his hands, and glared.

“John, you little shit, what did you do?” He asked, and John grinned.

“Look in the mirror.” He said, and Dave’s expression changed. John clearly hadn’t noticed what he’d suggested, and Dave smirked.

“I think you’re going to have to describe it.” John looked surprised, before realizing- yeah, Dave was a vampire, no mirrors, duh.

“Oh. Ha, sorry. But I drew a smiley face on your chest, and your nipples were the eyes.” Dave looked alarmed.

“The fuck? Why?” He questioned, and John giggled.

“I’m sorry Dave, but it’s your nipples when you glow. They’re brighter, like two little headlights on a car! It’s hilarious.” Dave looked down and noticed he was right. His face grew dark red, and he immediately attempted to cover his chest, but only proceeded in making John pull the shirt up tighter. Dave felt embarrassed, and responded immediately.

“Hey, no laughing at my chest!” He said, but he found that he couldn’t feel heat in his cheeks any more. John was right, they were extra bright- that was embarrassing.

“Dave, they’re like spotlights.” John spoke, his voice sounding delighted. It was definitely weird, but John found it ridiculously funny for some reason. Meanwhile, John’s dad heard snippets of their conversation and frowned. There was more laughter and Dave sounded almost… embarrassed. Alright, he had more than enough reason to check up on his son now. Roxy would drop by his home soon anyway. With scrunched eyebrows, the adult opened the door to John’s room door and spoke. As soon as the man opened his mouth, Dave was able to stop his glow, but he could do nothing for his current position.

“John, are you… uh.” His father started, and both John and Dave froze. The sight that befell him left over one thousand questions, concerns, and assumptions running through Jacob’s head. The sight happened to be his son straddling a practically shirtless Dave Strider. The room lacked all light, and one of John’s hands appeared to be pulling the remainder of Dave’s shirt over his head, while the other lay on his friend’s pale, toned chest. John’s father blinked, and his tone changed. “What’s going on?” He asked, and both boys paled, Dave more noticeably than John.

“Uh, dad! You.. didn’t knock.” John said, and John’s father narrowed his eyes suspiciously. Alright, maybe that wasn’t the best response to a question like that.

“What are you two doing?” He asked, and Roxy, recently arriving in the house, decided that she’d see what was going on.

“Uh, Jacob, what’s up with John?” She asked, and then she saw the scene before her. “Oh.” She said, clearly making an assumption that wasn’t correct. “Uh, Johnny, please tell me you’re not doing what I think you’re doing. You never got ‘the talk’, did you?” John looked up at the woman, his eyes wide and blinking at her assumption.

“Uh, I can explain.” He said, his face lighting up. “It’s not that!” He said, then desperately searched for an excuse. He looked to Dave, but the vampire was just as blind sighted by the situation as anyone else. Now, John could have used any number of excuses, and most of them would sound much, much more acceptable than what he ended up saying. So, using the first excuse he thought of probably wasn’t his brightest idea.

“We’re waiting. Dave, feel free to share your thoughts too.” John’s father said, crossing his arms.

“We were going to… wrestle!” John shouted, and all three of the people in the room looked at John in shock. “Yes, wrestling, the best manly man sport a couple of human friends can do. That’s what we were up to Dad, no need to flip out about it.”  John said, and Dave covered his face with his hands.

“You two were going to wrestle… with shirts off… on your bed.”  John’s dad said suspiciously, and Dave felt like curling into a fetal position and not moving.  

“Ha ha, yep.” John said, then poked his friend. “Right Dave?” He asked, and Dave didn’t respond. “…Dave?” John asked, and noticed that his friend didn’t look okay. He was sweating, and even in the dark, John could tell that he looked paler than usual. “Dave, are you okay?” He asked, and both of John’s parents started to look concerned. Dave blinked, not realizing he’d been spoken to, before he responded.

“Oh, what? Don’t worry Egdork, I’m… f-fine!” He said, offering him a shaky thumbs up, before everything went black.

___

When Dave regained consciousness, he was still on John’s bed, but now John was leaning over him, along with his older brother. He vaguely registered John’s voice, and a smile grew on his face before he registered sight or felt anything. Eventually, he recognized the softness of John’s bed, and he groaned. The words people were apparently speaking silenced, and when he finally could make out what they were saying, he realized it was John who spoke.  

“Dave! Oh gosh, you’re awake!” He said, and Dave noticed him wipe a tear from his face. The vampire sat there, trying to figure out what was going on. His brother passed John something, and John immediately held up a ton of spinach and a water bottle.

“I told you, this happens all the time.” Another voice said- it was Bro. Dave attempted to sit up, placing a hand on his head. His older brother handed him a cup with a straw. “Drink this.” He said, and Dave hesitantly took it. After a few sips of the mixture, Dave realized it tasted like apple juice and blood- type O, most likely.

“What’s… going on?” Dave asked, and John took in a deep breath.

“You passed out, Dave.” John said, and Dave blinked. He sipped the drink and started feeling less confused. John ran a hand  through his hair. “Oh gosh, I was so worried.”

“I’m sorry John, I didn’t mean to worry you. Why did I pass out, and for how long?” He asked, and memories of what they did before surfaced in his mind. “Shit, your parents!” He said, and Dave realized that his hand glowed. He turned it off, almost without thinking.

“One thing at a time little man, are you okay?” Bro asked, and Dave paused, but nodded.

“Yeah, I’m fine. First, why did I pass out?” He asked, and John looked down, guilty, but Dirk responded.

“Because you took way too much blood out of your body. Seriously, you filled up like four apples, plus whatever you did during training- that’s way too much for you, and you know it.” Dirk said, crossing his arms.

“It was my fault, Mr. Strider. I shouldn’t have kept asking him about his vampire powers, and now…” He said, trailing off. Dave looked up.

“Wait, it’s not your fault John. No, I decided to do it on my own, I wasn’t thinking. Don’t blame yourself.” He said, and John shook his head.

“I’m just glad you’re okay.” The boy responded, and Dirk looked unimpressed.

“Well, as long as you two are alright, mind telling me why we found Dave half naked?” He asked, and John looked around.

“My parents aren’t in here, right?” He asked, and Dirk frowned.

“Well, no. They moved into the other room. Why?” He asked, and Dave looked a little embarrassed, but John explained what they were doing to the best of his ability.

“The vampire stuff, dad doesn’t know. But he was showing me his glowing, and his nipples glowed brighter than the rest of him, so I drew a smiley face on his chest.” John said, and looked down. “Plus, it was warm. It, uh, sounded like a better idea in my head.” He added, and Dirk raised an eyebrow.

“Alright, if you say so. I don’t know how you’re going to explain that to your dad.” He said, and John looked up.

“Oh, I already covered that. I told him we were wrestling!” He said, and Dirk looked down at him in surprise. “Pretty good, right?” He said, and Dirk glanced at Dave, who wouldn’t meet his glance. He held down a chuckle.

“Uh, right. Nice thinking, John.” He said, and put on a fake casual face to hide that he was attempting not to laugh. “Well, did you guys get all your stuff worked out?” Both boys nodded in response. “Alright, great. Well, Dave has a place to be today, and he actually has to be there this time.” Dirk referenced the fact that he’d moved their meeting from the previous day, and Dave shuddered.

“Oh, is it that?” Dave asked, referencing the council with distaste.

“’Fraid so, Dave. We have to go.” He directed his words towards John, who bounced off the bed.

“I understand, thanks for letting him come over on such short notice.” He said, and Dave stood. He put his hand on John’s doorknob, ready to leave.

“Yeah, thanks for having me John. I’ll see you on Monday in school, right?” Dave asked, and John nodded.

“Yeah, you will. See you!” He said cheerily, and just as Dave reached to open the door, John spoke up. “Wait, your clothes!” John announced, and Dave looked down at himself. That’s right, he was still standing in all of his shirtless vampire glory.

“Oh, thanks. Okay, I see my shirt, where’s my sweatshirt?” Dave asked, and John looked around for the clothing item. Dave put the red shirt over his body, and they searched for a few minutes, but still couldn’t locate it.

“Can you get it later, Dave? You know we don’t want to be late for this.” Dirk said, and Dave’s eyes widened. He already had his sunglasses, and he shuddered at the thought of being late for the council. They’d talk for an extra ten hours.

“Oh, you’re right. John, do you mind just giving it to me when you find it?”  Dave asked, and John shrugged.

“Sure, I don’t know how it could have gone missing though. It was right here. But when I find it, I’ll let you know!” John said, and Dave smirked.

“Thanks Egdork, sorry for passing out on you. Anyway, see you Monday!” He said, and Dave left the boy’s room. His parents waited anxiously outside, and after assuring them that Dave was alright, the boy started towards Dirk’s truck. He thought he saw his brother’s form flash for a second, but he ended up in the same place and Dave shrugged it off. He needed to go before John’s parents asked questions anyway.

JAFNF Chapter 63

(Friday, March 19 th )

As soon as the Striders stepped out of the Egbert household, they began driving towards the council’s meeting area.

“Be sure not to tell them about Dolorosa, alright?” Dirk asked, and Dave rolled his eyes behind his glasses.

“I won’t, but I never have to speak to them anyway, right?” He said, and Dirk shrugged.

“I’m just being cautious. But yeah, you usually don’t have to.” He said, and his older brother smirked. “So you two were wrestling, huh?” Dirk asked, and Dave’s entire face (now filled with blood, thankfully) turned red.

“Bro, we weren’t wrestling, or anything else you’re implying, you asshole.” Dave crossed his arms, and Dirk ignored the insult.

“Hey, I didn’t imply anything. Still, that was a strange turn of events. You don’t think his parents saw you glowing, do you?” In response, Dave shrugged.

“No Idea, but I hope not. I can usually keep it off in my sleep anyway. I hope John finds my jacket.” He commented, and Dirk smirked.

“Oh, I’m sure he will.” He said, and Dave narrowed his eyes. Did his glasses just flash? Still, he didn’t know why he answered so cryptically.

“You wouldn’t happen to know where it is, would you?” Dave asked, and Dirk’s smirk didn’t leave his face.

“Probably somewhere in his room. That’s where you left it, right? I’m sure he’ll get it to you eventually.” Dirk said, and Dave shifted uncomfortably in his seat.

“Hm, if you say so.” The conversation lulled for a moment, but Dirk picked it up.

“You know, John really cares about you.” He said, and Dave looked up curiously through his glasses.

“Really?” He asked. “I mean, I know that, but why do you say that?”

“He was really upset that you passed out. It was only like, ten minutes, but he cried about it. I told him not to freak out, but still.” Dirk frowned. “He said he couldn’t handle it happening ‘again’.” Dirk added, and Dave contemplated that. Obviously, Davebot’s death still touched him in a personal place. Still, he hadn’t meant to upset his friend over his responsibility. Dave thought about John blaming himself for something stupid and felt a little upset.

“Yeah, I could see that happening. John… really cares. Anyway, let’s just get this meeting over with, I hate this place.” Dave said, and they eventually arrived in the building. They were right on time, and all the creepy, old vampires stood there and watched their prized pureblood enter their room. Dave found a seat away from everyone, and once again, Dave put his headphones in and tried to ignore them. He was good at that. He started trying to do better in flappy bird, again, but the council halted his comical series of failures.

Dirk tapped him on the shoulder, and Dave looked up hopefully. He expected the meeting to be over, but in truth, he just needed to get more involved.

“Dave, they have a question for you.” Dirk said, crossing his arms. Dave raised an eyebrow, annoyed. The council, filled to the brim with creepy looking old people, all stared at him with their unmoving eyes. The young pureblood tried to avoid a shiver as they regarded him, and the one in the middle spoke up.

“Pureblood.” He started, causing Dave to fight off a shiver. “You ceased your bio-luminescence. Why?” He asked, and Dave gulped, but responded.

“A ton of people see me that don’t know about this stuff. I don’t want them to freak out.”  The head of the council spoke again. His raspy voice made Dave uncomfortable, to say the least. The almost whispered, yet loud words would haunt Dave’s dreams for days on end.

“You haven’t converted anyone, have you?” He asked, and Dave shook his head.

“No, I would never.”

“Good, we wouldn’t want to corrupt your blood. Your existence is of the utmost importance.” The man said, and Dave put a hand over his arm. “Have you looked into your… abilities yet?” He asked, and Dave shrugged.

“Just the normal vampire stuff.” He wanted this meeting to be over, now. He hated these people. They served as nothing more than a constant reminder of why he hated being a vampire. With old, creepy murderers running around, Dave could almost see why hunters wanted them dead. Unfortunately, the hunters were no better. They shot before they asked questions, and many times, innocent people fell prey to their whims. They stereotyped the supernatural, and while in some situations it seemed acceptable, other times they hurt the innocent.

“You should begin looking into expanding your abilities. You are the only pureblood that’s joined with us, we want you to be at your best in case something unfortunate were to happen.” His voice grew cryptic, and several other vampires voiced their assent. “I would suggest a teacher from the council-” The man looked towards Dirk, who noticed Dave’s face go white. “But it seems like you would benefit from a different approach.” Dave let out a breath he didn’t know he held in his body. “So, we’ll give you two years.” Never mind that relief. “You have two years to understand your, shall we say, more unique abilities, until we decide to teach you ourselves. Is that clear?” He asked, and Dave nodded, shaken.

Well, that certainly wasn’t good news- yet another occasion when the council ruined what was sure to have been a good day because of John. The elder dismissed the two brothers, and Dave returned to his brother’s car in silence.

“That was the most they’d offer me, Dave.” Dirk said, and Dave sighed again in annoyance.

“I know. Thanks.” He said, and Dirk rubbed his eyes.

“Look, it’ll be fine. I don’t get why they’re rushing for you to learn all this, but I know you’ll figure it out. It’s just weird extra powers that you don’t know how to use, and are so oddly specific that only you know them- you’ll figure it out.” Dirk said, and Dave looked up through his sunglasses.

“That didn’t help.”

“It lightened the mood.” Dave smirked, then glowed.

“No, this lightened the mood.” He said, and Dirk looked at him, scandalized.

“Dave, why would you do that? That’s it, no more hanging out with that Egbert kid until you get your horrible puns under control. I know you get it from him.” Dirk said, and Dave actually laughed at that. He wanted to offer a witty retort, but the phone in his back pocket buzzed, then flashed blue. Dave didn’t even have to say anything, Dirk knew. His tone grew into one of mock accusation. “I bet you’re planning on sharing shitty puns right now, you prude. But go ahead, take it.” Dirk aid, and Dave hurriedly took out his phone.

“Thanks.” He said, and smiled down at the screen once he confirmed that it was indeed John’s pesterchum.

__

“Dad?” John asked, once Dave left his home. John’s father still felt a little upset from what he’d witnessed earlier. What could those two have been doing, that required John to lie to him? Dave and John’s interactions had always been close, but he definitely didn’t approve of his actions today. John was far too vulnerable, in the adult’s eyes. And while Dave did seem to be a cool and protective friend, it was also clear to the man that he had his own interests in John. Some of them may not have been as pure as he’d originally assumed.

Jacob had to step it up now, as a father. He needed to try to make up for the years he’d missed in his grieving. More importantly, he needed to keep a close eye on that Strider kid. After all, John came from the same thing, and while it wasn’t necessarily a bad result, he didn’t want his John getting hurt by Dave. So when his son called him, Jacob came a little quicker than usual; it was only natural.

“Yes, John?” His father responded, and John put his hands on his hips. He stood outside his bedroom.

“Can you help me find something? Dave lost his sweatshirt, and we looked all over my room, but neither of us could find it.” He said, and John’s dad frowned, but ascended their stairway.

“Right, when you two were… wrestling. Sure, I’ll check.” He said, but he paused, and turned to John. He wished he had a slice of cake. “John, do you mind if I talk to you about something? You’re not in trouble.” His father said, and John stopped for a second.

“Dad, please don’t give me ‘the talk’.”

“What do you mean? I just wanted to… encourage you, and help you sort out some new feelings you may be experiencing.”

“Oh no.” John said, and things only went downhill from there. Jacob coughed, but he persisted. He eventually moved them to the living room, and John sat, trying not to face his situation. His father was giving him ‘the talk’ after 16 years of life, telling him things he could have guessed or would have preferred to just Google.

“Now, I know you may be experiencing certain urges. They may be strange, or uncomfortable, but don’t be ashamed of it Jonathan. It happens to everyone, including your friends!” His father tried to speak helpfully, and John found himself muttering a chorus of ‘no’, ‘please no’, and wondering if he could pay his way out of the situation. “You may feel a strange sensation in your, erm, gentials. I promise it’s nothing to be ashamed of, but it’s important that you don’t act on it before you get married. You may find yourself feeling attraction to the opposite gender- or even the same one, but it’s important that you don’t act on it. I know this may have been happening during your, wrestling match today, but please don’t attempt physical contact when you feel these urges.”

“Dad,I wasn’t feeling these urges with Dave can we please not be talking right now?” John interrupted, his face scarlet. Jacob coughed. Honestly, he didn’t want this conversation either.

“Uh, right! I still need to find that sweatshirt for you- I’ll go do that.” He said, and John immediately sprang up and walked away. Jacob sighed and returned up the stairs, and the man immediately entered John’s room. The boy stood outside the area, and to his surprise, John’s father saw it in seconds. It sat atop his chair, and he even found it folded. Beside the sweatshirt stood John’s phone, and unfortunately, and idea appeared in Jacob’s mind.

“Any luck, Dad?” John asked from outside, and in that second, Jacob knew what he’d do. He quickly made a move to grab the device, hide it in his pocket, and present the jacket to John.

“It’s red, right? I found it here, like this.” He said, and John rushed in, then gawked at the sight.

“But how? We both checked there!” John said, sounding genuinely confused. John’s dad had some suspicions, but he shrugged.

“Maybe you just needed a third set of eyes. Well, either way, I’m glad you have it. Now I have extremely important work to do, so bye.” He said, and left his son’s room. John picked up the article of clothing and shook his head. Strange things happened sometimes, apparently. He wanted to text Dave about it, then he realized that he didn’t know the location of his phone. John searched for a few minutes, not seeing it anywhere in the abnormally clean room. He sighed- maybe today was just one of those days when he lost everything, even though it was all right in front of him. That had to be it. John looked at the jacket again. The boy didn’t know what to do with it, but as he casually threw it over his shoulder, John realized that it wasn’t clean.

Naturally, John did the first test that came to mind when deciding the necessity of a washing machine- the sniff test. He put the hoodie up to his nose and breathed in, and when he was done, he made an oddly content expression. It wasn’t clean, but it didn’t necessarily smell bad. In contrast, it smelled like pizza, and maybe sweat, and old vinyl or something.

Granted, that wasn’t the most flattering description, but it was all John could think of. It smelled like Dave. It was his horrible diet, and his strifes, and his records. The smell was strangely comforting, if not a little off putting.  John almost didn’t want to wash it. Still, Dave would probably be more appreciative if he did, and with that thought in mind, he decided he’d put it in the washing machine.

__

Jacob Egbert paced around his room. He felt anxious, and already more than a little guilty. Still, this was his best opportunity to figure out this Strider kid. He already knew that John used pester chum to talk to his friends, and when he found the app on John’s phone, he felt a thrill of nervousness rush through his body.

After the application loaded, he saw a slew of names and colors, and John’s dad frowned. They didn’t go by their normal names here, a fact that Jacob originally liked. Still, now that he stared at the screen with a variety of two part names and a multitude of conversations, Jacob couldn’t help but feel overwhelmed. Still, he could do this, for his son. He was just being a protective parent, and neither Roxy nor John needed to know about this.

The man racked his brain through his recent conversations with John, about Dave. He mentioned a ‘G’ in his chumhandle- maybe it was garden Gnostic? He could only hope this was correct.

EctoBiologist (EB) began pestering GardenGnostic (GG).

EB: Hello David.

GG: Oh hey John, I think you clicked the wrong person.

GG: It’s Jade, not Dave.

EB: Oh! That was a mistake, my apologies Jade.

GG: It’s fine, but you should go talk to him, not spend time over here.

John’s dad felt immensely guilty after that, but he decided to go with it. Also, he needed to refer to him as Dave, apparently not David. At least he learned something.

EB: Sorry about that, see you some other time.

GG: Bye!!

Garden Gnostic (GG) ceased pestering Ecto Biologist (EB).

Blast. Well, now he had to search for more- maybe it was the purple font person, with the ‘T’ in their name? The letter sounded familiar.

EctoBiologist (EB) began pestering Tentacle Therapist (TT).

EB: Dave?

TT: Hello John, I regret to inform you that I am not Dave. I assume this was a ‘butt dial’ of some sort?

EB: Oh, yes. Sorry about that.

TT: It’s fine. But if you ever need something, just know that I’m one butt dial away.

TT: I have to go now, but I’ll speak to you soon.

EB: Okay, I’ll see you some other time.

Tentacle Therapist (TT) ceased pestering EctoBiologist (EB).

Well, that clearly wasn’t Dave either. Jacob started to feel discouraged- maybe this wasn’t a good idea. Then, he saw that the next name on the list included both a T and a G. It probably wouldn’t hurt much to just check one more person, but after that, he would stop. He had to, this probably wasn’t right, but he tapped the name anyway.

__

Dave sat in his brother’s car, awaiting John’s words, and hopefully, his witty (note: Horrible) puns. After all, they were just another thing on the list of things he loved about John Egbert. That reminded him- maybe he should have made a list? Whatever, he’d think about his ultimate confession later.

EctoBiologist (EB) began pestering Turntech Godhead (TG).

EB: Dave.

TG: John.

EB: It’s me, your old pal John. Are you up for some discussions, dawg?

Dave looked at the screen skeptically, but maybe he was setting up a joke or something- he better just play along. John did stuff like this all the time.

TG: Heck yes, radical guy.

TG: What discussions are we participating in today?

EB: Well that midterm, are we up for cheating on it, my man?

TG: What? John is that a joke? That’s not cool.

EB: Haha yeah bro, that was a joke.

TG: Okay. So seriously, you wanted to talk about something?

EB: Well, you know that we’ve totally shared the most intense of secrets with each other.

EB: So, I wanted to know if you wanted to engage in fully unprotected, underage intercourse with me?

EB: Because I know you’re totally into that stuff, haven’t you done it before Dave?

EB: I think it would be crazy cool if you did.

Dave read the words once, then read them again. After three reads of the sentence, Dave’s confused expression turned into an upset one. He knew what was going on now, and he would not let this continue.

TG: John’s dad please stop.

EB: What do you mean, this is totally just a request from your cool bro.

TG: John’s dad please, he can read this.

EB: IT’S ME JOHNATHAN.

TG: No, it’s not. Please stop now before he gets mad at both of us.

EB: DANGIT STRIDER I KNOW YOU’RE TRYING TO ENGAGE IN SEXUAL RELATIONS WITH MY SON AND I INTEND TO STOP YOU.

TG: Mr. Egbert, with all due respect, I think the only one that’s disrespecting John’s boundaries at this point is you. Please return John’s phone. I won’t tell him about this, but I hold no liability if he scrolls up.

TG: Also, if you see my sweatshirt please let me know. Thank you.

Turntech Godhead (TG) ceased pestering Ecto Biologist (EB).

Dave looked down at the phone, upset. Dirk saw his brother and squinted- what happened to his smile? Still, Dave slipped into his cool façade again, and Dirk decided that he’d talk about it when he was ready. Apparently, that time wasn’t now.

__

After pulling the sweatshirt out of the dryer, John placed it in his room and got to work on his days of missed assignments. When he finally finished for the night, John threw off his hoodie, showered, and prepared himself for bed. He looked around for something to wear, then remembered that none of his clothes were clean, on account of him washing Dave’s sweatshirt separately. He groaned- John didn’t like sleeping without clothes on, it made him feel vulnerable and bare. While he did have a pair of night shorts lying around somewhere, he had no top coverings anywhere- they were all wet in the washing machine.

Eventually, his eyes landed on Dave’s sweatshirt. He glanced around nervously- was it really okay for him to wear it? Then again, it was just one night, and he just washed it. So, the boy gingerly held the fabric item, and pulled it over his body. It smelled much cleaner than before, and he eventually just jumped into bed with it.

Long after John covered himself in blankets and fell asleep, John’s dad crept into his room. He was wide awake from the day’s encounter, and he still felt awful about it. It was a mistake- It was clearly, clearly a mistake. Even if those were Dave’s intentions (*and after that conversation, John’s father doubted it.) he knew that wasn’t the best method of approaching John’s friend. He opened the door to John’s room, and went to quietly set his phone back.

Maybe he should have told John what he was doing. But then, John probably wouldn’t forgive him for something like that. He looked over at his sleeping son, conflict on his face. He just wanted to protect his little boy, swaddled in red- wait. Jacob looked at the sweatshirt he wore in the dark again and stepped backward in shock. It was Dave’s. He wanted to do… something, but eventually he just shook his head.

He’d already done enough.


	20. Chapter 20

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 506-605  
> 64-74

**BEGINNING OF PART 3**

JAFNF Chapter 64

(Monday, March 22 nd )

After that night, John removed the sweatshirt from his body. It still smelled fresh, but it lost that “I just washed this” smell.  The weekend passed, and he prepared to return the jacket that morning in school. It was comfortable, but not his. Still, he found Dave before first period, and he offered him the red garment.

“Oh, a gift for me?” Dave said, batting his eyelashes under his shades, and raising the pitch of his voice comically. John, in turn, lowered his voice dramatically.

“Of course babe, anything for you!” He said, then laughed a little, but spoke normally. “Seriously though, here’s your sweatshirt.” Dave took it, and hugged the soft material to his chest.

“Woah, thanks Egdork. Did you wash this? It smells… nice.” Dave said, his face a little warm. John put his hand behind his neck.

“Uh, yeah. I did.” He said, omitting the fact that he slept in the item.

“Well it smells fantastic, I need your detergent. Anyway, where did you find it?” Dave asked him, and John shook his head.

“It was so weird, but it was folded on my chair! I looked there 20 times, but bam, I found it there. Then I lost my phone, and found that in an obvious place too- I think I just had one of those days.” John said, then his eyes narrowed. “Or, someone is pranking me.” He said, his body going still with the realization. Dave looked away.

“I don’t think it’s that.” Dave said, but John rubbed his hands together.

“Oh no Dave, not this. I know my father, this is exactly what he used to do. Well, it seems like he’s declared war. You may not want to step into my house for a few days, Dave. It can get… messy.” He said, and Dave raised his eyebrows.

“You guys get that intense?” He asked, and John nodded seriously.

“Oh yes. When… mom… was around, our house used to be a war zone. Well, it’s payback time now, Dad. Roxy hopefully won’t join, I’d hate to prank her too hard.” He mused, and Dave sighed. He wanted to tell John about his father’s actions, but he promised not to. “I can’t let my guard down for a second. I’m going to end him!” John said, jumping up in excitement. The two minute bell rang, and John looked at Dave. He was already making plans, Dave could tell. John offered him a distracted hug, then raced into the classroom, muttering about cups.

During that lunch period, John seemed distracted. He sat next to Dave with a piece of notebook paper, and seemed to be drawing a series of lines.

“What’s that?” Dave asked, and John drew another line before responding.

“Battle plans.” He said simply, and Dave felt guilty again. He shouldn’t have entered a war under such false pretenses, but if John’s father deserved anything from his son, it was certainly something worse than this.

“Hey, John?” Dave asked, and John looked up after a second.

“Yeah?” He asked, his blue eyes alight with the fire of fun. Dave couldn’t tell him. After all, John was going to enjoy this, and if Dave stopped him, he’d indirectly be the reason why John’s smile left his face. He couldn’t be the reason for that. So, Dave omitted the truth to his blue eyed friend.

“Ah, nothing, you just look nice today.” He covered for himself, and John looked down at his sweatshirt and jeans in confusion, then his expression changed to a goofy one.

“This is what I always wear.” He said, and Dave offered him a shrug. Shit.

“Well, you’re really rocking your look today, just saying.” John smiled at the compliment,

“Thanks, you look cool, as always.” He said, then returned to his work. Well, Dave had something else to do too. He pulled out a sheet of paper, and started compiling his list of reasons why he loved John. The boy that sat next to him was far too engrossed in his own work to look at Dave’s.

“One.” He wrote, occasionally looking at John. The boy’s face was turned into a little smile, yet he looked concentrated. It was cute. “Your smile.” He wrote, then frowned. Was that too cheesy? It was true, but still. “Your awful puns. Your adorable, messy hair. Your gorgeous eyes.” As Dave wrote on, he found it was getting easier to think of things. Eventually he’d filled up all the lines on the notebook paper, and he moved to place it in his backpack. Then, he stopped. He had to title it. So, he wrote ‘Things I love about John’ on the paper, took a picture of it with his phone (he didn’t want to lose it) and finally, put it away.

Later, during their 7 th period, Dave found himself speaking to Karkat, because John was still busy. He pulled out his next page when they were working on a worksheet, and he concentrated. Their teacher left the room, so students talked fairly quietly. Eventually, Karkat saw the sheet’s title, and he got Dave’s attention.

“Dave, is that for him?” He asked, motioning to John. Dave looked up, startled, then he realized it was Karkat speaking. He betted on them months ago.

“Yeah, it is. Lower your voice!” He said, and Karkat rolled his eyes.

“Well, let me see what you have so far.” He said, and Dave looked at him in disbelief.

“No way, I’m not feeding you and my brother’s gay fantasies.”

“Well, technically it’s a reality at this point-” Dave glared at him. “But I can help. Trust me, I know this stuff. Ask Rose and Kanaya.” Karkat said, feeling proud. Dave blinked, then uncrossed his arms.

“Fine.” He said, and he reached into his backpack. He found the first paper, and handed it to Karkat. “Read it and weep.” Dave said, and Karkat looked impressed.

“Wow Strider, I never pegged you as the overly romantic type.” Karkat said, and Dave smirked.

“Well Vantas, I never pegged you as a yaoi fangirl. Now read your list, and try not to let berteg know.” Dave said, referencing the boy behind him. Karkat read down the list, prohibiting himself from letting out the sound ‘aww’.  Eventually, he took out a pencil. Dave looked over at him anxiously. “Well, what do you think? Is this too cheesy, or what?” He asked, and Karkat raised an eyebrow.

“No, it works for you two. Just don’t ask him in public. Also, half of these are too repetitive, but I like the adjectives. Very touching.” Karkat said, and Dave’s eyebrows fell.

“Really? What’s repetitive?” Dave asked, and Karkat pointed out two he’d circled with his pencil.

“Well, you said you liked his eyes, then later you said his eyes were like sapphires. That’s a totally kind description by the way, but still, that’s repetitive.” Karkat said, and Dave frowned.

“Then what do I keep?”

“Just combine the two.” Karkat leaned over to Dave’s desk with the paper. “Now, if you changed it to-”

“Karkat Vantas!” A voice sounded from the front of the room, causing Karkat to freeze in his position. Their teacher marched over to Karkat’s desk, then put his hand out. “Passing notes in class, lad? I’ll have you know that’s not tolerated- you most certainly are not finished with your sheet. Give it to me.” He said, and Karkat gave Dave a panicked glance, but handed over the paper. “What do you have to say for yourself?” He asked, and Karkat looked down.

“I’m… sorry, Mr. English. It won’t happen again.” Karkat said, and the teacher began to return to his desk.

“I should hope not, Mr. Vantas. Honestly, what is so important that you could possibly believe-” Jake read the sheet, and his face turned a shade of pink. “Oh. Well then, I hope you don’t do this again.” He said, putting the paper on his desk. Karkat and Dave quickly went back to their work, and John looked up, curious. That was definitely a strange response from his teacher, but it was clear that Dave and Karkat had no intention of talking about it.

___________________________---

Once class ended, Jake still had it on the edge of his desk. John walked up to the teacher.

“Uh, hi Mr. English.” John said, causing the man to look up.

“Oh, John! What can I do for you?” He asked, and John held out a few pieces of paper.

“I have my work from the days I was out. I know I have more time to turn it in, but I thought I should just give it to you now.” John said, and Jake looked up, pleasantly surprised.

“Oh, thank you John! That will make grading so much easier, thank you!” He said, and as he reached to take it, the aforementioned notebook paper fell off the teacher’s desk towards John. The boy handed the papers to the teacher, and then moved to pick up the sheet.

“No problem, and this fell off your desk.” John said, then picked up the item. He looked down at the paper, and saw the written heading. “Things I love about John Egbert.” It looked like a list, and as John scanned it, the first thing he found was his smile. John looked up at his teacher, surprised.  That was the note Karkat was passing? Jake looked from the boy’s flushed face to the notebook paper.

“Oh, uh, John-”

“Thanks Mr. English bye!” John said, and he quickly hurried out of the classroom.

By the time John returned home, the note still hadn’t left his mind, but neither did his impending prank war. He saw his father approach him, with a slice of cake.

“Hi John, I was wondering if-” John’s eyes widened and he dashed up the stairs. The cake was clearly going to be a prank, but John wasn’t that slow.

“You’ll never catch me alive!” John said, and he slammed the door to his room shut. Immediately, John looked around the room. He needed to start planning, now. There were no suspiciously cracked doors, or extra shiny doorknobs, so he was probably safe for now. And while he was safe, that meant he needed to act.

John waited for his father to leave the surrounding area, and once he did, he found his way to the garage carefully. He avoided his dad, opened the door, and backed out of the house in his car as quietly as possible.

One visit to a trick shop later, John had what he needed. He still had his plastic buckets at home, but now all he needed was time and stealth. The opportunity presented itself when John’s father left the house that day, and John started setting up pranks.

__

When Dave returned home, he was in a somewhat upset mood. Sure, Jake English had his try at romance in his hands, but at least no one else saw it. Jake would probably tell Dirk about it, Dirk would tease him, and he’d be done with it. After all, he still had the copy of it on his phone- so really, he was fine. John wouldn’t see it until he was ready, and Karkat could still help him edit. He felt bad about getting Karkat in trouble, but nothing really happened, so he was fine.

So, when Dirk knocked on his door without a sword in hand, Dave wasn’t surprised.

“Yes?” He asked, and Dirk looked down at him.

“Are you okay?” He asked, and Dave looked confused.

“Uh, yeah? Why, I’m fine.” Dave responded truthfully.

“Oh, okay. I just thought after today you may be upset?” Dirk said, leaning against the doorway. Dave narrowed his eyes.

“What… happened today?” Dave asked, suspicion in his tone.

“Jake told me your friend, Karkat had a thing for John, and he was writing him some piece of paper? He said he was worried about you.” Dirk’s voice made it a question. Dave looked up at him.

“Karkat was editing that paper for me, it wasn’t from him. I wrote it.” Dirk blinked.

“Oh.” He said, then his voice got slightly happier. “Oh! Wow Dave, that’s sweet of you.”

“What did he say was on it?”

“Something that made me regret I hadn’t tried the same thing on Jake. Well, good luck with that John kid, but it looks like you won’t need it at this point.”

“Don’t say that yet, his Dad hates me, and I’m kind of lying to him at this point.” Dave said, and Dirk raised a blonde eyebrow.

“Really? What’s up with that, I thought his parents loved you.”

“Yeah, I thought so too, until yesterday. He thinks I’m trying To use John. For sex.” Dave said, and Dirk raised an eyebrow.

“Uh, are there any reasons why that shift would occur? There’s nothing you’re not telling me, right?” Dirk asked, and Dave snorted.

“John started it.” He said, and Dirk looked at him seriously.

“Please don’t tell me you did what I think you did.”

“No, calm down. It was just when I was shirtless in John’s room yesterday, and he was kind of helping me remove my clothes. Didn’t look too good, but you know what was going on.” Dirk blinked, then his stern look cracked.

“No way. And he thinks that was-”

“He does.” Dirk started laughing. Dave joined in too, it was pretty ridiculous, when he thought about it.

“Wow Dave, remind me to tell this to whoever invented horrible romance comedies, that was ridiculous..” 

“You’re telling me.” Dave said, and Dirk laughed one last time, then put his hand on the door.

“Wow, well you enjoy that, Dave. I have shit to do, I’ll see you later. I just wanted to make sure you were okay.” Dave leaned back on his bead and smirked.

“Never been better. See you later, Bro.” And the older Strider left.

__

JAFNF Chapter 65

(Monday, March 22 nd )

Later that afternoon, John sat in wait. His father returned home, and eventually he started the trek towards his bedroom. This was what  you got when you pranked John Egbert. As he walked into the bedroom, a light, plastic bucket of water fell on his head. John’s father looked surprised, then looked around. Ah, well at least John left towels. He tried to summon a laugh at the prank, but it just added to his guilt. When the man walked towards the towels, an almost invisible trip wire blocked his path, and he landed face first on his bed.

Jacob felt bewildered at that. Eventually he closed the door, removed the wire, and grabbed the towels to clean up the mess. Unfortunately for him, all the towels were already wet, and would be completely useless in an attempt to remove water. That meant he had to go look for another drying apparatus elsewhere. When he put his hand on the doorknob, it was slippery. At that, he cried out in frustration.

“Aagh, darnit Johnathan!” He shouted, and looked around for something to remove the Vaseline from the door and his hand. Instead, he heard John sprint down the hallway, then open the door from the other side.

“Do you give in? I have more where that came from. You can never start a prank war with me, Dad! That may have worked when I was seven, but not now!” He shouted, and Jacob looked confused from the other side of the door.

“Give in? I didn’t start this prank war.” He said, and John put his hands on his hips.

“Oh really? Then why did Dave’s jacket, and my phone, and my glasses all go missing yesterday?” He shouted from the other side of the door. “Face it Dad, you can’t hide your head games! I am the master!” John said, and John’s dad sighed from the other side of the door.

“No, John. It wasn’t a prank- it was a mistake. A very, very bad one on my part that I regret.” He said, and John looked confused.

“What do you mean?” John asked from the other side of the door.

“Have you checked your pester chum, at all? I had a conversation with Dave Friday.” He said, his voice lowering in shame. “While pretending to be you.” John’s eyebrows knit.

“Why?” He was more confused at this point than anything.

“Because I thought he was trying to take advantage of you. I was wrong though. I know you two weren’t wrestling yesterday, and it worried me that you lied to me about it. I… understand if you didn’t trust me with the information, but I wanted to make sure he wasn’t using you.” Jacob admitted. “But what I did was wrong- I’m sorry.” John narrowed his eyes.

“What exactly did you say?” He asked, and then slapped his forehead. “Oh wait, I’ll just read it.” John said, and he left, then returned with his phone. “You talked to Rose and Jade too?”

“I couldn’t find Dave at first.”

“Hm, fair enough.” John looked at the screen. “You think I would cheat on my midterm?”

“No, but I just wanted to find out if Dave would.” He said, and John scrolled through more of the conversation.

“Dad, what did you do?” He asked, sounding horrified. “You… Why did you do this? I could have told you we weren’t doing that!” John said, and his father looked down.

“I know you’re right. I understand if you don’t forgive me for this. I went in your phone without permission and spoke with Dave. I’m sorry, Johnathan.”

“Dave didn’t tell me about this, and he knew it.” John said, crossing his arms. “He watched me plan out my pranks, and he didn’t say anything!” John said, then opened the door for his father. He sprinted back to his room afterwards, and slammed the door. His best friend kept information from him, his father invaded his privacy, Karkat liked him unplatonically, and all John wanted to do was be alone.

He sat in his room, fuming for a few minutes, before deciding that he’d do something else with his time. He was still more than upset at both Dave and his father, but that didn’t mean that his homework would disappear. So, he worked on it, and resolved not to speak with Dave or his father for at least a week.

_______________-

(Tuesday, March 23)

The next day, John woke up early, and to his surprise, Roxy was fixing breakfast. He still felt upset from the previous day’s events, but he tried to greet her kindly anyway.

“Oh, good morning John, you’re up early.” She said, and John nodded.

“Yeah, I’m leaving for school earlier than usual today.” The woman turned around from the stove to face John.

“Oh, really? What’s happening, Johnny boy?” She asked, and John immediately produced a lie.

“Uh, I have a study session.” He said, and Roxy shrugged, accepting the statement. John cringed a little- that was two parents he’d lied to in two days. He didn’t like records like that.

“Hm, alright. Be sure to eat before you go, and let Dave know.” Roxy said, and at the mention of the boy’s name, John frowned.

“He already knows.” John said, crossing his arms. “But I will eat something, can I have a muffin?” John asked, and Roxy gave him the food. “Thanks, Roxy.”

“No prob, bob.” She said with a wink, then went back to what she was doing. As John started on the food, his father rushed down the stairs.

“Morning Roxy, and John. I have to go, have a good day wherever you go, Roxy.” Then he paused, and looked down at John, guilt in his tone. “And have a good day at school, John.” He said, and John ignored it. Roxy’s black lips curled into a frown.

“Alright, bye! Have a good day at work.” She said, and waited for John to say something similar. He didn’t, and Jacob left. Roxy looked down at the boy in blue quizzically. “John, is something wrong?” She asked, and John abruptly stood up.

“Well, I’m off to school, have a good day Roxy!” He said, and began moving towards the door.

“John, are you sure-”

“Bye!” He said, and closed it behind him, his backpack in hand. John completed the trek to school, then just went to his first period. After all, he didn’t really have a study session. Eventually students began filing in the classroom, and John took out the work they needed to do that day with a huff of annoyance. He hoped Dave wouldn’t show up, so of course he did. The vampire stood outside his classroom, and when John ignored him, walked into the room.

“John.” Dave said, and John continued to ignore him. “John, this isn’t a study session. Are you avoiding me?” He asked, and at that point John looked up, anger clear in his eyes.

“I don’t know Dave, are you lying to me?” He asked, and Dave looked confused for a second before his eyebrows rose in understanding.

“John, that wasn’t my int-”

“I don’t care what you intended! Leave me alone, and go to class or something!” John said, and Dave didn’t want to leave, but a bell sounded. He really did have to go.

“I’ll talk to you about it later, John.” Dave said, and John looked away from his friend, hurt clear on his face.

“Just go away, Dave.” John said, and the albino looked upset, but started toward the door. He stopped for a second, but John’s teacher coughed and looked at the clock pointedly, and Dave knew he had to leave.

At lunch, John wasn’t in their usual meeting place, so logically he checked the cafeteria and found him with Karkat, Equius and Nepeta. He looked uncomfortable and upset, but the second Dave walked up behind him, John’s face looked angry again. He stood up as soon as he noticed the boy, then looked down at Karkat.

“I have to go, see you later Karkat.” John said, and he took his stuff and left. Dave sighed and looked at John’s retreating form. He needed to go after his friend, but when he stood to follow John, Karkat frowned.

“Dave, are you going after John?” He asked, and Dave sighed.

“I messed up-”

“Clearly. Give him some time, I’ll go find him.” Karkat said, then added more. “And stay here Strider, if he’s this mad, I’m sure you’ve done enough.” He followed John after that, and Equius and Nepeta looked uncomfortable. Dave sighed, and hoped John would hear him out eventually.

While Dave felt guilty, John just wanted to be away from Dave. He felt upset, and decided to go to the library. Hopefully Dave knew not to follow him there. Karkat opened the library door, and found John sitting there.

“John?” He asked, and John looked away.

“If you’re here to tell me to forgive Dave, you can go back to the table. You don’t even know what he did.” John said, and Karkat took that as a cue to sit.

“Yeah, and that’s why I’m here- to find out and help. What happened?” Karkat asked, leaning towards John. John leaned back, a little apprehensively. Did Karkat usually sit so close? He hadn’t forgotten about the list. Still, Karkat was here to help him- John knew that, so he told him what happened.

“He didn’t tell me what my dad did, and he let me keep thinking that it was a prank, even though it wasn’t! We actually sat here yesterday and I made plans for this, only to find out that he was hiding what my dad did from me!”

“What exactly did your dad do?” John fished his phone out of his pocket, then loaded pesterchum.

“Read this. This was the conversation that my dad had with Dave yesterday.” John said, and Karkat took the device. He read for a minute, then looked up.

“Fully unprotected underage intercourse? He said that?” Karkat asked, and John his did face in his hands. The boy felt horrified with his father’s actions, and even more upset that Dave hadn’t told him. If Dave let him know about this, then the only one John would be mad at was his father. Unfortunately, he didn’t. His ‘best friend’ kept the truth from him, and that stung. It made John wander what else he was hiding from him, or even if he should continue being as open with Dave.

“He said that.” John finally responded, and Karkat put a comforting hand on his back.

“I’m not going to lie John, that’s horrible. Still, don’t you think Dave had a reason that he didn’t want to tell you?” Karkat asked, and John looked up.

“It wouldn’t be right, even if his heart was in the right place. And at this point, I’m questioning if he even did it for the right reasons.”

“Maybe you just seemed excited about your pranking, and he didn’t want to make you upset.”

“Well he did a great job at that!” John responded, and Karkat rolled his eyes.

“Come on John, you know there has to be a good reason for it. He cares about you.”

“How would you know?” Karkat looked at him seriously.

“Duh, John. Because I care about you too, and I honestly wouldn’t be defending anyone that’s trying to hurt you. You’re way too important to me for that.” John looked up at Karkat, and he seemed completely sincere. The note flashed in his mind again, and John immediately sprang upwards in his seat. This wasn’t flirting, right? This certainly couldn’t be an attempt to get closer to him, while helping him through difficult relationship times. Well, unless it was. Karkat had always seemed more at ease with him than other people, but John felt worried that romance was the only thing driving that.

“Oh, right. Well, thanks. You’re a great friend, Karkat.” John said, and Karkat rolled his eyes.

“Yeah Egbert, you’re the bee’s knees. Anyway, are you going to talk to him?” John thought about it for a minute.

“I’ll wait until he asks me.”

“You could be waiting for a while, I told him not to continue looking for you while we talked.” John blinked.

“Oh, really?”

“Yeah, you’d just be upset with no resolved issues. Trust me, I’m good at this relationship thing.” Karkat said, and John backed up.

“I’ll take your word for it.”

“You’ll take more than that, you’ve been crawling to me for advice for months now.” John looked playfully offended.

“I help too!” He said defensively, and Karkat rolled his eyes.

“Whatever. The point is, this isn’t my first rodeo. Your three sided circle of confusion, awkward romance and friendship isn’t an easy one to figure out, John.” John looked at him carefully. Three sides? Well, Karkat was helping him with Dave. Was Karkat including himself in all of this? That basically confirmed it right there, but now John didn’t know what to do. He couldn’t tell Jade about it, Rose would get awkward, and Dave wasn’t an option, so that meant he had to figure this out on his own. Maybe he could just friend zone him nicely?

“Well, if you want to talk about something confusing and awkward, we should be talking about you.” John retorted, hoping the friendly banter would ease Karkat into friendship mode. Instead, Karkat smirked.

“Are you saying I confuse you, John? I’d say I’m a pretty straightforward guy.” John’s cheeks filled with heat. Was that an innuendo in his tone?

“Nope, you’re a totally not confusing great friend of mine, Karkat. Our simple, uncomplicated, platonic friendship is what really makes hanging out with you great, bro!” John said, and Karkat’s large eyebrows knit.

“Are you okay John? No offense, but you’re acting weird.”

“The only thing that’s acting weird is nothing!” John said hurriedly, then stood up. “Anyway, thanks for your help, I think I’ll go find Dave.” The boy said, and the vampire looked a little confused. John hoped that wasn’t hurt on his friend’s face.

“Uh, okay? Good talk, John.” Karkat said, and John responded quickly.

“Great talk! See you!” he practically shouted, then ran out of the door. Karkat just shook his head. Weird.

__

Dave stood up from the lunch table. He was feeling antsy, and he wanted to go talk to John. Then, he sat. Karkat had told him not to, but it was his job to make things better with John, not Karkat’s. He stood up again, then had second thoughts, and sat down. While he was mid stand, Equius coughed.

“Dave Strider. If you would like to do squats sometime, I’m open to it by all means, but I suggest you make a decision. The cafeteria probably isn’t the best place to tone your legs.” He said, and it took Dave a second to realize he was making a joke.

“Oh, sorry. You’re right.” Dave said. He looked toward the door, and decided. Dave picked up his backpack and started to run. “Thanks!” He called, and he left the area. Seconds later, he neared the library. Unfortunately, he was so focused on his task of finding John that he collided into some person standing in the hallway. He instinctively shut his eyes and attempted to duck into a roll, but unfortunately it only brought the other person down with him. He felt his sunglasses leave his face, and with a cry they both hit the ground.

They sat there, trying to figure out what happened for a second.

“Sorry!” Dave said on impulse, his eyes still squeezed shut. The boy tried to get himself up so he could search for his glasses, but ended up failing. “Do you see my sunglasses anywhere?” Dave asked, and the person groaned.

“That hurt, but they’re right in front of me. I lost my glasses too, and I can barely see anything.” He said, and Dave sighed, not recognizing the voice at first.

“I hate to ask, but could you grab my sunglasses?” He asked, and within seconds, they were on his face. Dave opened his eyes to see John under him. “Oh, John! Just who I was looking for!” He said, exclaiming at the convenience. John unfortunately just groaned again.

“Urgh, Dave get off.” He said, and Dave flushed, a little.

“Sure, one second.” He said, and now that he could see, he unhooked his legs from John’s, then attempted to stand. At one point he straddled the boy, then used the floor beside him to pick himself up. Dave looked around and found the fallen glasses, then offered them to John. Once John could see again, he offered him a hand to help him stand. John reached toward it on impulse, then frowned and stood up on his own.

“You ran into me.” He said, and Dave looked away, embarrassed.

“Sorry, I was running to find you.”

“Well, it worked.” John said, crossing his arms. “Anyway, did you need something?” John asked, and Dave bit his lip.

“Uh, yes, well…”

“Karkat convinced me to listen to you, so I hope you have more to say for yourself than that.” John frowned, and Dave looked away under his sunglasses.

“Look, John. I know what I did was wrong, but I had my reasons for it.”

“Feel free to share. Also, you know people that are lying look to the side when they talk to people, right?” John said, and Dave blinked. He still had his glasses on.

“How did you know I was looking away?”

“You just told me. Now, if you just plan to lie to me, you can save your breath.” John responded, an edge of ice in his tone. Dave shuddered. When had talking to John gotten so difficult?

“I’m not lying. Look, yesterday, I didn’t tell you what your dad did because I thought you deserved to hear it from him. If you heard it from me, things would have just been worse, because you’d be more upset that he didn’t tell you.”

“So you decided not to tell me instead? You decided to literally do the one thing you wanted to not happen.” John asked, his voice raising a little.

“Uh, yes? Well, no. I mean, yeah, but-” John cut him off with a drawn out groan.

“Look, I don’t want to wait until you get your facts straight. Why did you do it, Dave?”

“I told you.”

“And that’s the only reason? Because that didn’t make a ton of sense. So tell me, or I’m going somewhere else.” Dave paused for a second. “Well?” John asked, spreading his hands out in frustration. Dave didn’t say anything- he wasn’t sure what to say. “Ugh.” John started to turn away, and Dave knew what the answer was, but now he didn’t want to say it. The boy started to walk away, but Dave stopped him.

“John, wait! Don’t go.” He said, and John turned.

“I’m waiting for a response, Dave. Why did you do it?” Dave sighed. His worries about connotations weren’t worth losing John.

“Because I didn’t want to be the first person to make you upset, and make you stop smiling. I wanted you to be upset with him first so I didn’t have to be the bearer of bad news. But what I said earlier was true too. It’s better that you hear it from him, because I know your relationship got kind of rocky and I still want you to be close to your dad.” Dave said, and John looked confused.

“What?”

“You heard me. I was being selfish. You looked so happy when you were planning out your pranks that I didn’t want to deal with upsetting you then. So, I figured you’d find out one way or another. And I did want to give your dad the chance to tell you- I even said he should hurry up and let you know before you ended up hating me too, but he didn’t. It’s not just his fault though.” Dave said with a sigh, and looked down. John turned towards his friend.

“Dave, I don’t hate you.” John said, and Dave looked up, surprised.

“What?”

“I was mad at you, that doesn’t mean I hate you. I could never hate you. But is that really the reason?”

“Yes.”

“Then I forgive you. I really do wish you had let me know though, a buffer before I got all those supplies would have been nice.”

“I know, that wasn’t cool of me. I won’t do it again.” Dave was honest.

“I know you won’t. And also, I’m really sorry for my dad accusing you of… you know.” John said, and at that Dave smirked.

“He has the right to be worried. After all, Striders get all the ladies.” John put his hands on his sides.

“I’m not a lady.”

“That doesn’t mean I couldn’t still get you.”

“Wanna bet?” John asked playfully, and Dave responded with the first thing that came to his head.

“Oh fuck yes!” He said loudly, and a few people stared. John’s cheeks darkened.

“Shut up Dave, I was joking!” He shoved his friend and Dave laughed, then started to walk down the hallway with his friend. He  seemed fine, but he mumbled a little in disappointment. After all, John may have been joking, but he wasn’t.

__

AN: Friendly friends are friends again.

JAFNF Chapter 66

(Tuesday, March 23)

Later, in science, John stared at Karkat in worry. He felt uncomfortable around his friend, and eventually, the vampire in front of him (actually, both of them) noticed John staring. Karkat decided that he’d turn around after what felt like hours, but when he tried to make eye contact with John, he looked away nervously. Karkat was confused, to say the least, but he couldn’t figure out why John acted so strange. He looked towards Dave and mouthed something John couldn’t make out, and Dave just shrugged. Unfortunately, Karkat started to seem self conscious. He’d put his hands in his hair, find nothing out of the ordinary, look back at John who would avoid his glance and repeat the cycle. By the time class got out, John was driving Karkat insane. When they stood up to go, Karkat stopped John.

“Hey, did you want to hang out, John? No offense, but you’ve been acting weird.” He said, and John blinked. He couldn’t say no, but he didn’t want to upset his friend. Maybe a public place was the solution, so things didn’t get too personal.

“Sure, want to visit coffee town or something?” John asked him, then froze at what he just said. Shit, that sounded like a date. He didn’t want to give Karkat mixed messages. “Actually, I hate coffee! We should go to my house instead.” Karkat blinked.

“Uh…” He said, glancing at the teacher. Everyone else left the classroom. “Yeah, sure I guess.” Karkat followed John out into the sidewalk, and they started their trek towards John’s home. They were silent for a while, so Karkat tried to pick up their conversational slack. “You know, I don’t think I’ve met your parents.” Karkat said absentmindedly, and John entered panic mode. Stick, was this meet the parents time in Karkat’s mind? How could he even meet his dad, under their current circumstances? And what would Roxy do?

“Right, well don’t worry about it, I’m sure the meeting will be completely casual and cool! It’s just meeting the parents of one of your friends, no need to freak out about it.” Karkat’s lips curled into a frown.

“Are you acting weird about this because of your dad? I promise, I’ll tell you if he accuses me of trying to make a move on you.” Karkat only half joked at the words. John’s voice came out in a squeak.

“What?” He cried, only to receive an even weirder look from Karkat. John cleared his throat. “I mean, yeah, I’m sort of not really talking with him right now. He said sorry, but I think I just need some time, you know?” John said, and Karkat’s shoulders slipped into a comfortable position again. Finally, they were back to the conversation topics they were good at- which were, ironically enough, talking about their feelings.

“I understand if you don’t want me to say anything when I come over. I mean, I don’t really know how to act because of this. Should I introduce myself or say hi?” Karkat asked, and John felt himself getting a little uncomfortable again.

“You can if you want. I mean, he said sorry, I just don’t know if I’m ready to jump back into ‘everything being okay’ again like with Dave. Just  breathe and do whatever is natural, I’m sure they won’t mind.”

“You mean, besides cursing like a creative sailor?” Karkat asked, and John rolled his eyes.

“Yes, I mean besides that, Karkat. You should be able to come back to my house after this.” John said, and Karkat laughed a little. They were nearing John’s home.

“You know, Vantas is kind of a weird last name. I feel like you would expect a vampire to have a name like that.” Karkat noted absentmindedly, and John’s head turned towards him. He grew curious at the start of the conversation.

“Well, what last name would you prefer?” John asked, genuinely curious now. Karkat shrugged.

“I don’t know, Egbert is pretty cool. Karkat Egbert has a fun ring to it.” He said, and the color drained out of John’s face. No, no, no, no, no! This wasn’t supposed to go there! They were in the friend zone, and Karkat just took him right out of it! He had to respond, now!

“Haha, well, I think Vantas is more suitable! I definitely like that a lot, no need to change anything around.” John’s words were rushed and nervous sounding, and Karkat raised an eyebrow before responding.

“Really? Okay, I could see John Vantas being a thing.” Karkat said, and John felt completely mortified. Luckily, his house was close, and John rushed to the front door.

“Well would you look at that, we’re here at my home so let’s discontinue our conversation and do something else okay? Okay.” John said, then opened the front door. His slightly shorter friend had to rush to catch up, and arrived at the door.

“Oh, right. Sorry?” He said, and John didn’t answer. Roxy was in the living room, and she perked up when John entered the home.

“Oh, John! Welcome back!” She started, then remembered this morning. “You know, Dave came by this morning and he was wondering about you. I know it’s one of your walking days.” Roxy said, and John hummed.

“Uh, we worked it out. But I brought over a friend.” John said, and Karkat stepped out from behind John.

“Oh, hi, nice to meet- oh wait, hello Roxy.” Karkat said, and Roxy greeted him brightly.

“Hey mini V! Nice to see you! How’s your dad?” Roxy asked him, and to John’s surprise, Karkat responded.

“Still drunk on holy water, or whatever.” Karkat responded, and Roxy snorted.

“He’s a good guy! But speaking of holy water, let him know I’ll be dropping by the church soon, We’re doing another hunt.” John looked up, surprised.

“Is Rose coming?” He asked, and Roxy sighed.

“Unfortunately no, she won’t come Johnny. These guys aren’t as big of a deal.” He noticed Karkat get visibly uncomfortable at the mention of hunting.

“You know for sure that they’re trying to turn people?” John asked, and Roxy’s lips curled into a frown.

“We think they tried an attack last night, but I’ll be out on surveillance for a while, before we go in, guns blazing. I learned something from that one time, and I really don’t want a mix up involving like, 20 people next time. So far, I’ve confirmed it, but I have to watch him try to turn someone before I strike, you know?” John nodded in response.

“Alright, that’s good. Tell me when we start.” John said, and Roxy offered him a flippiant, but caring wave.

“Sounds like a plan, Johnny. Karkat, tell your dad I say hi.”

“I will.” She looked up at Karkat then, noticing his discomfort. Roxy tried to recall their introductions from months ago, and blinked.

“Wait a second, you’re a vampire, right?” Roxy asked, and Karkat looked down. Her voice softened. “Does your dad know?”

“No.” Karkat responded, and Roxy nodded in understanding.

“Alright then, I’ll keep it on the DL. Have a nice time, you two.” John took that as a cue to lead Karkat to his room, and hastily cleared away a sitting area. The two sat there, lost in their own thoughts for a moment, but Karkat spoke up.

“John.” He said suddenly, and the boy looked up. “Was there something you wanted to talk about?” Karkat asked, and John felt nervous. He crossed his arms over his chest.

“Uh, no? I’m totally okay!” Karkat rolled his eyes, placing a hand on his shoulder.

“No, you’re not. Something is going on. You were staring at me all class long today, and you’ve been acting really weird. Do you have something to get off your chest? Whatever it is, you know I can handle it.” Karkat said, and John bit his lip. What was he supposed to say to that? Karkat sighed when he didn’t respond, and fought to keep the little smile off his face. “Is it Dave?” He asked, and John blinked.

“What?” He asked, and Karkat rolled his eyes, sitting back.

“Okay, if you’re playing hard to get that’s fine. Can you describe exactly how you feel about him?” John responded instantly.

“He’s my best friend.”

“That’s not a description of how you feel.” John looked down, concentrating.

“Well, I feel like he’s a really good friend. I only want the best for him, and I feel like I’ve known him all my life. I know life would stink if he wasn’t in it, and he’s really cool, in a dorky ironic way.” John said, and Karkat looked surprised.

“Really, that’s it?”

“What else am I supposed to say?”

“You’re supposed to say whatever has been making you act weird around me. I don’t know why you’ve been acting like this.”

“Acting like what?” Karkat looked up at John, then put his hands down on the mattress in frustration.

“Every time we talk you get nervous and start talking about how we’re good friends. You were staring at me in class. You keep changing the subject and literally ran away from me. What the fuck is going on, really? Is it me?” Karkat asked, and John didn’t know how to respond. “Whatever it is, at least tell me! I don’t know what I’m doing wrong or whatever, but I hate that you keep acting different around me. Do you not want to be friends?” John looked at Karkat in surprise, and his response came out, sounding almost… offended.

“No, of course I still want to be friends!”

“Then what’s your deal, John?”

“I-” he hesitated. “It’s complicated.” Karkat threw his hands up in frustration.

“What kind of nook licking excuse is that, John? Everything we talk about is fucking complicated, when is it not? Why can’t you trust me with this, whatever this is?” John yelled back his response.

“Because I don’t want to fu-fudge up our friendship! I like the way it is now, I don’t want it to change because feelings changed!” Karkat looked up in surprise.

“John, what feelings changed? Shit, do you… like me?” Karkat asked, and John forcefully laid himself back on his bed.

“No! Not like that, we’re friends!”

“Then what are you even talking about?”

“I read… the note.” He admitted, and Karkat looked at his friend, but blue eyes wouldn’t meet Karkat’s dull red/brown ones. Karkat’s caterpillars eyebrows scrunched together in confusion.

“What note?” In response, John could only sigh and push himself up.

“The note you were passing in class. I accidentally saw it, and saw that you were listing things you… loved… about me. I just don’t feel the same way. I’m sorry, Karkat. I didn’t want to tell you this way, and I didn’t want to stop our friendship either.” Karkat heard him, and to John’s surprise, he snickered.

“Really?” John looked confused, but nodded.

“Yeah.” Karkat laughed more.

“Well, that explains a lot.” Karkat said, and John looked confused.

“So, you’re not mad?” John asked, and Karkat finally responded.

“No, I’m not mad. Fuck, that’s kind of funny.”

“Mind letting me in on the joke?”

“I didn’t write that note, John.”

“Who did?” Karkat looked confused.

“You don’t know?” he asked, and John shook his head.

“Uh, no. I didn’t think anyone even noticed me in our class, especially not like that. Was it… the girl in the corner?” He asked, and Karkat shook his head.

“You’ll figure it out, I guess.”

“They’re planning on confessing?” John said, a wide grin growing on his face. “Karkat, this is so exciting!” He said, and Karkat laughed a little.

“I guess so. I swear, I don’t know how you don’t know though, it’s so obvious.” He put his hand on his mouth. “But I guess it’s pretty unexpected too.” Karkat said, and John looked at Karkat, trying to find out who would do it.

“Is it… Caliborn.” He said, horror in his tone. Karkat shook his head wildly.

“Definitely no.” John relaxed at that.

“ Well, who?”

“I can’t tell you, that goes against the friend code.” John pouted.

“Then why did you tell me in the first place?”

“Because you thought it was me, dork.” John’s face turned red, along with his ears. He was definitely embarrassed.

“I had a good reason to. Still, that’s pretty farfetched. Gee, I wonder who it is!”

“Will you say yes?”

“I will. I’ll probably grow to like her. It’s hard not to like someone that cares about you genuinely.” John said, and Karkat elbowed him playfully.

“I guess you would know from experience, huh?” He asked, and John batted his hand away.

“Shut up.”

“I’m just saying, you had it pretty bad for Davebot. Maybe you’ll like this person just as much. I already know they’ll be perfect for you.” Karkat said, and John sighed, a little dreamily.

“You think so?”

“Yeah, I do. Did you read the whole thing?”

“No, I just got a glimpse of the list.”

“Good, you’re in for a treat.”

“They’re going to be so sappy. Do you think they’ll like movies?” John asked, and Karkat shrugged.

“I think watching them with you will make it worth it.” Karkat said, and John sighed.

“I can’t wait until they confess!” Karkat rolled his eyes.

“For your sake, you blind idiot, I can’t wait until they do either.” John felt content for a second, before shooting upwards.

“Wait, what happens if we get married?” John asked, and Karkat put his hands out, in a motion that clearly meant ‘slow down’. “I mean, hypothetically. Would they wear a dress?” Karkat snorted. That was a little ridiculous, but he gave John an honest answer.

“I could see it.”

“So it is a girl!”

“I’m not telling you!”

“Aww man!” And the two proceeded to have a long, thought out discussion revolving around the issue.

__

While Karkat and John were being teenaged girls, Dave was being a Strider, and that meant he was mid strife. He was fighting his older brother, and his older brother would repeat his constant pattern of hit first, advice second. When he’d asked his brother for a strife that day, Dirk looked more than surprised. He wasn’t upset or anything, he just wanted to get better. They took a mini in fight break for a moment as Dirk asked him a question.

“So, did anything prompt your request, Dave?” He asked, and Dare responded honestly.

“John.” He said, and then elaborated. “He was able to, uh, pin me earlier this week. I figured I’ve been slacking off lately.” He said, and Dirk nodded appreciatively.

“Break over.” He said, and Dave readied himself. “So, you planning to wrestle him again?” Dirk asked, and Dave had to stop for a second. He’d been expecting an attack, not words, so Dirk threw him off. Of course, he used that one second to attack his brother, remove the sword from his hand, then flash step away.

“What the-”

“Don’t lose focus. Never let people expose your loved ones as a liability.” Dirk said, and Dave sighed. He was right.

“Okay, fine. Sword, please?” He asked, and Dirk returned it to him with a smirk.

“Time for more strifing. Just remember, you asked for it.” And Dave did remember, ten bruises,  four scratches and a lot of soreness later.

___

JAFNF Chapter 67

(Wednesday, March 24)

The next day, Dave decided he’d walk to school with John, and appeared at John’s doorway at their usual time. He knocked on the door, feeling sore from yesterday. Still, he felt like he’d just ingested healing potion when he realized he’d get to see John again. So, when John opened the door with both surprise and delight on his face, Dave hardly noticed the excessive number of bruises that were sure to span his body.

“Dave, you’re here! What’s up, it’s not a walking day!”

“I figured I would make up for yesterday. You don’t mind, right?” John laughed.

“Of course I don’t mind, I’m excited to see you!” He pulled the taller friend into a hug, and Dave enjoyed it, but hissed when John’s elbow hit him in an uncomfortable place. John looked up at his friend, mortified that he’d hurt his friend, when he noticed the bruises on his body. “Dave, what happened to you?” John asked, and Dave shrugged it off nonchalantly.

“Oh, you know. Rough strife yesterday. I asked for it.” Dave said, and John looked mortified.

“You have like, nine bruises!”

“Ten actually, one on my lips.”

“How?”

“Sword sheath in the right/wrong place. I’m fine.” He said, and John narrowed his eyes at him.

“Did you even put ice on these?”

“Nah, I didn’t need it. Honestly, I’ve had way worse.” John rolled his eyes, then grabbed his friend’s hand and moved towards their kitchen, along with their first aid kit.

“I swear, you’re going to be one hundred percent scratches and band aids.” John said, applying the last of the needed first aid items to his friend’s body. Dave laughed a little, but John pursed his lips. “I don’t know what to do about your mouth.” He said, and Dave smirked.

“You could kiss it better.” He said, and John blinked for a second, then took the statement for what it was- a bad pun. The boy giggled for a few minutes before he could speak.

“Dave, that was terrible!” John swatted him lightly, and Dave his a wince. He responded instantly anyway.

“I learned from the best.” He shot back, and John smiled at the words, but frowned as he remembered the actual problem they faced.

“Seriously though, I don’t know what to do for this.” Dave wanted to argue that he was just as serious, but John’s attention turned to someone else- namely, his father.

“David.” Jacob said, causing them all to look towards the man. “I’m sorry for what I accused you of, and how I did it- that was out of line. I hope you can forgive me, what I did was wrong.” Dave looked towards John, who wanted to avoid his father’s words, and he knew what he’d say. He had no reason to continue being mad at John’s dad. After all, the man was only trying to be protective, and Dave saw that it came from a place of caring. Plus, he knew John would never truly forgive his father if he didn’t as well, and he didn’t want a permanent rift between them.

“It’s fine, Mr. Egbert. I, uh, understand your concerns.” Dave said, and his tone grew less awkward, and more serious. “I forgive you, but please understand that I’d never want to hurt John, and I definitely wouldn’t take advantage of him for something like that. He’s my best friend.” He announced, and John fought a grin at the declaration. Jacob nodded.

“ I believe you. Thank you.” He said, and John felt really, really uncomfortable, but he felt the need to speak up.

“I forgive you too, Dad. I understand why you did, uh, that.”  John said, and Jacob honestly looked surprised, but nodded.

“Thank you, John. I promise that I’ll be better for you in the future.” John forced a little smile.

“I believe you.” He said, and they stood there for a few minutes before Roxy came down and immediately alleviated tension as her cheerful form stepped in the room. While she had more than enough questions for the three males standing in the kitchen in silence, she knew there was tension, and she didn’t want to be too inquisitive. So instead, she lightened the mood, offered breakfast, and even gave a somewhat scandalized Jacob a kiss on the cheek. Eventually, Dave and John had to leave, and as soon as the two boys were out of the door, John giggled.

“Bye, have a good day!” Roxy shouted in the distance, and both offered her a wave. John practically bounced with excitement next to his bandaid covered friend, and remembered that he had huge news to share. Dave saw this, and waited for John to talk to him.

“Daaaave?” He started, and John smirked.

“Joooohn?”

“Can you keep a secret?” He asked, and Dave’s response came out dryly. He could recognize the tone, and made an inference as to what John was about to say. It didn’t hurt that Karkat had already offered him explicit details (and unwanted scenarios) after his and John’s conversation.

“I’m a pureblooded vampire living in suburban America. However, if you plan to tell me about a prissy teenage girl crush, please spare me.” If John hadn’t known him better, he would have kind of sounded like an asshole, but John did know him- and he was. Still, Dave he would listen to whatever John said. John rolled his eyes.

“It’s not a crush! Well, not yet.” John said, and Dave smirked.

“Ooh, has some lucky lady caught your eye?” He asked, his voice bordering on sarcasm. After all, he already knew what had happened, but was contented to hear John share anyway.

“No, but apparently someone likes me. I don’t know who though!” He said, and Dave raised his eyebrows.

“How did you get this information? Did someone confess?” He asked, and John shook his head.

“No, there was this misunderstanding when Karkat was editing this thing for the person that liked me. Mr. English took it up, and I accidentally saw it, then I freaked out because I thought Karkat had feelings for me! But I asked him about it and he didn’t, but apparently someone else in our class does.” John said excitedly.

“Any idea who this special someone is?”

“Well, it’s not the girl that sits in the corner, or Caliborn. I can’t wait to find out who! Karkat says they’ll confess. I don’t know if it’s a boy or a girl.”

“But you’re excited about it, and Karkat hasn’t told you who?”

“Yes, I’m excited about it! I don’t know who it is either, Karkat said it violated the friend code… but that doesn’t mean I still can’t try to figure it out!” John said, and Dave smirked.

“Hm, really? So, you’re going to be detective John, finding out who’s madly in love with you?”

“Yeah! You want to help? There’s only 26 people in our class, it can’t be that hard.”

“John, we have 31 people in our class.”

“Yeah, well not counting me, Karkat, you, Caliborn or the girl in the corner, It’s 26. I do my math.” Dave raised an eyebrow. This could get interesting, and it’s not like he was in any real danger of getting found out. So maybe he would do it.

“I don’t know John, I’m not sure if my particular set of skills will help you.” Dave said, and John rolled his eyes.

“You’re my best friend, that’s the only skillset you need. Come on, please?” He asked, and Dave rolled his eyes. They’d already entered the building, and now they stood in front of John’s classroom door.

“Hm, you drive a hard bargain Egbert, but fine.” John started to get excited, and Dave put a hand up. “Ah, ah ah John, only if you complete a request.”

“What?”

“Don’t worry, it’s easy. I remember a question about kissing things better that we had this morning? My lip still hurts sooo much!” he put his lips out in a playful pout, and John rolled his eyes.

“Seriously?”

“I’m waiting.”

“I’m never playing gay chicken with you. You’d win.” John grumbled, but grinned. Instead of meeting Dave’s lips (an outcome he honestly hadn’t expected anyway) He put his hands to his mouth, made a kissing sound, and spread his hands out then blew, hard. Dave pretended to catch it, and the bell rang. “There’s your kiss, I hope you feel better, you douche bag. Now, go to class, I’ll brief you on the plan at lunch.” John said, and Dave felt the blood spread through his body a little quickly at that, but smirked. He had to at least try to look cool.

“Yeah yeah, you’re welcome. See you at lunch!” He called, and John turned in towards the classroom. Dave started to go away too but John came back, offering  his friend one last, quick hug, then returning to his education destination. Dave walked towards his first period with a grin on his face. He couldn’t wait until lunch.

__

When their lunch period arrived, Dave found John and Karkat sitting in the library, and leaned over John’s chair. He had the names of everyone in their class, along with a number (one through ten) written by their names. He crossed out the names John, Karkat, Caliborn, Dave, and Mierfa Durgas. Apparently, the people that lacked a last name were just the ones John knew.  As soon as Karkat saw Dave, he smirked.

“Nice wrappings, mummy.” Dave’s eyes flattened.

“Ask nurse lovesick over here, not me. He’s the one that did the operation.” John turned swiftly.

“And who asked me to kiss it better?” Karkat cut into the conversation.

“John, I already feel everyone involved in this regretting it.” Karkat said, and Dave spoke up from behind John.

“Uh, this is going to be something you’ll either laugh about or cringe every time you think about it because you’re embarrassed. Still, if you’re up for trying to find this person, I know I can’t stop you.” He said, and John perked up.

“Oh, Dave! See, he agrees with me, this is a great idea Karkat.”

“For the record, I did not do that.” Dave said, and John rolled his eyes.

“Whatever. Well, I need all of your guys’ help, because you have to talk to all of these people about me without telling them why.” John said, his voice confident. Karkat and Dave looked at each other, and they both knew- they would definitely regret this. Still, it wasn’t like Dave could just tell them to stop searching. “Unless, you guys know a better way for me to figure it out. Huh, Karkat?”

“I have one.” Dave said, and John strained his neck to look at him. “Just wait until they confess. They probably have a plan for it anyway, if they were talking to Karkat about it.” He said, trying not to show his discomfort with mentioning himself in third person. John pouted.

“But I don’t even know when they’re going to do it! What if they wait like, a year, and I have to spend all that time wondering?”

“They’re doing it soon, John.” Karkat said, and John looked up hopefully.

“How soon?” He asked, and Karkat avoided Dave’s face.

“They’re doing it within the next three months. Unless something happens.” Dave offered a little thumbs up, but John groaned.

“Three months? Can’t they just tell me now, so we can deal with our emotional stuff earlier? I’m dying to find out!”

“Good things come to those who wait, Egdork.” He sank down In his seat.

“Can’t I just try to guess?”

“You won’t guess.” Karkat said with a snort, and John shook his head.

“I could totally figure it out!” John said, and Karkat rolled his eyes. He started to say something else, but Dave interrupted.

“What if they don’t want you to know yet?”

“Geez Dave, you seem to be talking from this mysterious person’s point of view pretty well. Have you been in a situation like this, or something?” Dave cleared his throat, internally screaming the S word. He had to find an excuse, one that was better than ‘wrestling’.

“Uh, of course I have.” He lied and John raised an eyebrow.

“When?”

“When I dated Jade.” He said, and Karkat looked up at his friend.

“What?” He asked, but John was nodding in understanding. “Wait, you dated Jade?” He asked, and John responded for him.

“Yeah, He did! It was only like a week though, and we were thirteen or something.”

“Yeah, we both decided we’d function better as friends, it really wasn’t serious.” Dave said, and Karkat frowned, but played it off nonchalantly.

“Right. Well, Dave’s history aside, I don’t think it’s a good idea to try to find out. This person really does want to tell you, they’re just waiting for the right day. Plus, don’t you want to be surprised?” He asked, and John thought about it.

“I… guess so. Yeah, I do! Still, it’s going to be hard to know that someone that I see every day likes me… like that.” He said, a blush hitting his face. “It’s totally crazy to think about! And what’s even worse is that you know who it is, Karkat! Why did you even tell me in the first place?”

“Because you thought I was in love with you. That was an acceptable reason.” Karkat said, and John sighed.

“I hope this mystery girl tells me eventually. I’m going to go insane about this.” Dave put a hand on his shoulder and smirked.

“Don’t worry John, it’s only a matter of time until they tell you. You’re still looking forward to it, right?” John offered him an excited nod.

“Of course I am! I wonder if I’m taller than them!” John said, and Dave just laughed a little.

“John, the only person that would include is like, Karkat.” He said, and Karkat let out a hiss at the boy. John rolled his eyes.

“I’m not that short!” He said, and while Karkat shook his head at the not- so- accidental verbal slandering he received, Dave ruffled John’s hair.

“You’re shorter than me.”

“You’re a giant! What are you, like six ten?”

“Six foot one is not gigantic. You’re just small.” Dave said, and John shook his head.

“Nuh uh, Stretch. You’re ridiculously tall, my head only goes to your shoulders, or something.”

“See! Short!” Dave said, and John crossed his arms.

“Well, it’s probably because you’re a pureblood.” He said haughtily, and both Dave and Karkat looked around nervously, but no one seemed to be listening to them talk.

“Nah, it’s just part of my natural amazingness. Jealous?” He asked, trying to get John to stop mentioning vampires. Karkat responded with a snort.

“Hardly. With an attitude like that, I’m surprised you’re so popular.”

“I’m not.” John contributed, causing both friends to turn and look at John. “What? It’s not surprising at all. He’s tall, handsome and can make wearing sunglasses inside work. I’m pretty sure that’s not even possible.” Dave grinned at the complement.

“Thanks, John. Someone gets it.” He said, and John rolled his eyes at the fake vanity.

“Everyone notices.  I don’t know why you don’t have a girlfriend, they all fawn over you.” John said, and Dave responded with a practiced shrug.

“You know me, I don’t have enough time to spend on an ironic- or unironic relationship.” He said, and John put his hands on his sides.

“Don’t lie to me, I see you with Terezi. Do you like her or something?” John asked, and Dave raised his eyebrow.

“What? She’s just a friend of mine.”

“Mhm.” John said, his tone making it clear that he didn’t believe him. “You guys have like, 50 inside jokes, and you flirt with her every day. You totally like her.” John said, but Dave shook his head.

“I’m not into her like that.” Dave said, and Karkat had to speak up. This could get very bad, very quickly.

“Well, even if you do like her, Strider, I’ll offer you some warning. Her friend Vriska will make your life hell if you try to date her. So yeah, that’s off the table.” He said, and John blinked.

“Vriska?” He asked, effectively drawing their attention. “I don’t think she’d do that.”

“Uh, why do you say that, John? You know, I’m speaking from experience.” Karkat said, and John rubbed his arm.

“I don’t know, I just think if she did that she’d really have a reason for it. Or at least, she’d regret it. Maybe she wouldn’t say sorry, but she wouldn’t want to hurt Terezi. If anything, she’d just overprotective.” John said, his voice sounding a little small. Questions raced in both Karkat and Dave’s minds about her connection to John, but they decided to lay off the subject for now.

“Well, either way, I’m not into her like that. I’m pretty sure she’s feeling a just friends vibe with me too.” Dave said, and John frowned.

“Are you sure? I’m pretty sure even Vriska is expecting that to happen. Do you need me as your wingman, or something?” John asked, and Dave rolled his eyes behind his shades.

“ Please, John. If you were my wingman, she’d probably end up drenched in a bucket of water, not with me.”

“Who’s to say I can’t make both happen?” John asked, and Karkat waved his arms.

“Uh, me. I’m not letting you two off on some dumb clichéd suicide trip to go after Terezi. Don’t we have more important things to focus on, like school, and trying to keep insane secrets, you know, secret?” Karkat asked, and John thought for a second, but shook his head.

“Nah, I think I’m balancing all that pretty well, actually. And you love clichés, Karkat, so we both know that’s not a problem. I want to do it!” John said, and Dave found himself disliking the idea.

“John, I don’t want you to.” He said a little harshly, and John looked down.

“Oh, alright, sorry.” He said, and Dave’s eyes widened. Shit, he hadn’t meant to upset him. He saw Karkat pointing at John semi-discretely. Maybe he could direct the conversation back towards him.

“But, uh, hey! What about you? Got anyone I need to set you up with?” Dave asked, and Karkat looked at him in confusion.

“Hm, not right now. I’m still excited about that confession thing! But you know who does need setting up?” John asked, a wide grin on his face. He looked towards Karkat, who leaned in anxiously to find out who they’d be pushing together.

“Who?” Dave asked, and John offered him a sly grin.

“Jade!” He responded, causing both Karkat and Dave to look at him in shock.

“What?” Karkat asked, and John winked at Dave, then looked towards Karkat pointedly. Oh.

“Yeah, you’re right! I wonder who we could put her with?” Dave said, acting as if he actually had to think about it. Karkat, however, spoke up.

“Uh, excuse me. I would really prefer us not to set up Jade.” Karkat said, and John blinked his eyelashes quickly, his face looking innocent.

“Oh, and why is that? She never gets to hang out with us, unless Callie is there. I think she’d like a significant other!”

“Actually, I heard that she’d consider moving in with her uncle, so she can stop breaking the law, or whatever. You know what that means, right?” Dave asked, and both he and John looked at Karkat

“She’ll be here?” Karkat asked, his cheeks turning a little pink. John looped his arm over Karkat’s shoulder.

“Uh huh. Maybe we can set her up with someone if she comes. What about Tavros?” He asked, and Karkat frowned with distaste.

“Uh, I doubt she’d be into him.”

“Okay, what about Terezi?” Dave offered, and Karkat glared at him.

“She’s straight.”

“Sollux?”

“Taken.” Karkat said, and John crossed his arms.

“Okay, Equius.” Dave said, and Karkat scrunched his nose.

“Nah, he’s too sweaty for her. Also, he has a thing for Aradia, but she’s dating Sollux. Plus, there’s Nepeta to consider too. I would really rather not mess their thing up.” Karkat said, and Dave smirked.

“You know, you really seem to be shutting down all of our options. I think the only one we can suggest now is you.” He said, and Karkat sputtered.

“What? No! Why?” He asked, and John shrugged.

“You’re single. And straight.” John added, and Karkat flushed.

“That doesn’t mean I like her like that.” He said, and Dave put an arm around the shorter boy too.

“I don’t hear you saying you’re not into her like that.” Dave said, and Karkat hesitated. He saw John’s barely contained grin, and threw their arms off him.

“You bastards, you were planning on suggesting me the whole time.”

“Well, you like her, right?” John asked, and Karkat sighed, sitting back down at his table.

“I… it’s complicated, alright?” He said, and John’s eyes softened.

“Fine, but just remember, we’re here to help. And if Dave sucks at that, I’m here to help, okay?” Dave let out an indignant scoff, but John put his hand on his friend’s shoulder, and he nodded.

“Yeah, okay.” He said, and they left it for now/

JAFNF Chapter 68

(Wednesday, March 24)

“Uncle Jake! I’m here!” A voice cried, and Jake English looked up in surprise, then excitement. He’d been sitting on the couch with Dirk when he heard the doorbell ring, then the excited voice. He ran to the front door with Dirk in tow. He’d already informed his boyfriend of her expected arrival, but now that she was here, he practically moved faster than Dirk’s flash stepping. Still, Dirk ended up at the door first, and he opened it. Jake and Dirk both greeted her, and she started introductions.

“Jade, I’m so glad you’re here!” He said, crushing her with a hug. She hugged back giddily, and Jake coughed. “Oh, and Jade, this is Dirk, my boyfriend. Dirk, this is Jade, my niece.” He said, and Jade looked up and pushed her hand outwards.

“It’s nice to meet you!” She said, and Dirk shook her hand.

“You too, Jade. I think I saw you briefly a few months ago, right?” He asked, and Jade grinned.

“Yeah, you… oh wait, you’re Dave’s older brother! No wonder you look so similar.” She said, then paused. “That’s a compliment.” She added, and Dirk smirked. Alright, he liked this girl so far.

“Thanks.” He responded, then blinked. “Wait, you don’t have any bags?” He asked, and Jade shook her head.

“Nah, I ran here. I have a friend helping me with the bags.” She responded brightly, and Dirk raised an eyebrow.

“From New York?” He asked, and Jade shrugged.

“She’s skilled.” Jade said, and Jake broke in.

“Hm, well I’m happy to have you staying with me. Roxy’s almost never here anyway, I’ve always liked having a roommate.” He said, and Jade beamed at him.

“I haven’t lived with anyone since grandpa.” Jade said, and Jake nodded in understanding.

“Well, I’m here to fix that.” He said, and Jade smiled earnestly. “Anyway, would you like to come inside? I’d like a pop off the old top.” He said. Jade had no idea what that meant, but she accepted gratefully anyway.

“Sure, but my stuff should be here any second.” Jade said, and as she turned, Tavros appeared behind her, along with six suitcases.

“Uh, sorry about the wait, Jade!” He said, and Dirk surveyed the boy with the Mohawk and frowned.

“Who is this?” The blonde asked, and Jade held out a hand.

“It’s Tavros!” She said, smiling widely. Seconds later, Calliope appeared with some of her more delicate items. She saw the six suitcases and smiled.

“Oh, well done Tavros!” She said, and turned to Jade. “Sorry for not letting you know Tavros would be in on this, but it was practice.” She responded, and Jade shrugged.

“Hey, the more the merrier! It’s good to see you both!” Jade said, offering Callie a hug. The girl accepted, and Tavros looked down at the bags.

“I can, uh, carry them for you if you want.” He offered, and Jade smiled, but shook her head.

“It’s okay Tavros.” She said, picking up one of the heavier bags with ease. “I think I can handle it.” Dirk smirked- he really liked this girl. Tavros tried to insist, but Jade was already mid bag carry, and he ended up just hauling the rest of the bags with magic. Jake didn’t really know this ‘Calliope’ or ‘Tavros’ personally, but apparently they’d helped his niece.

“Well, thank you for your help, everyone.” Jake said, and he proceeded to walk inside. After setting down the bags, Jade looked down to Calliope, who’d addressed her.

“Jade?” She asked, and Jade answered immediately.

“Yes?”

“So, you wanted me to leave the lab, right?” Jade nodded.

“Yes, I think I can make due over here. Did you bring my guitar?” She asked, and Tavros hit himself on the forehead.

“O-Oh, I’m sorry. I, uh, forgot something. I’m sorry, let me, uh, get it now. It’s on your island, right?”

“Right past the lilly pads. You don’t have to get it if you don’t want to, Tavros.” Tavros shook his head wildly. His rusty brown colored eyes looked down in embarrassment, but he felt determined to make up for what he forgot.

“N-No, I should. Sorry, Jade, but I’ll, uh, s-see you in a few minutes?” He said, looking to Calliope, who nodded in confirmation.

“Just breathe dear, you can do it.” She said, and Tavros nodded, but closed his eyes and teleported away. Jake, Dirk, Jade and Calliope stood there for a few seconds before Jake spoke.

“So, forgive me for asking Calliope, but is Tavros your apprentice, or what?” He asked, and Calliope shrugged.

“He’s a fairy I met during our escapade a few months ago, but he didn’t know much about magic. I suppose I view myself as his mentor and friend, really. He’s gotten really skilled at magic, honestly. I’m quite proud of him.” She smiled fondly at the thought of Tavros, and Jake nodded in understanding.

“A fairy? That’s amazing, I’ve never met one. Well, if he can teleport something all the way from Jade’s island and back, I’m sure he’s quite something.” Jake said, and Jade spoke up too.

“Yeah, Tavros is really a nice person. Thanks for agreeing to move my stuff, by the way.” Jade said, and Calliope waved a hand, disregarding her thanks.

“Oh darling, It’s more than alright. Honestly, Tavros needed an exercise like this anyway, and you know I’m always more than happy to help out a friend. Is our sleepover still happening?” She asked, and Jade grinned.

“Definitely! I can’t wait!” She responded, and eventually, Tavros arrived.

“H-Hi! Sorry about the wait, I fell- uh, well, never mind. Here’s your base!” He said, confidently handing her the instrument. She grinned, and both Dirk and Jake’s mouths fell open.

“What is that?” Dirk asked, and Jade responded gleefully.

“It’s my Eceltic Bass. I can only play it with my extra arms, but it’s still pretty cool.” Jade said, and Dirk’s eyebrows raised.

“Werewolves have extra arms?” He asked, and Jade bashfully shook her head.

“No, I just had a pair of robotic arms. I can show you once I put everything in my wardrobifier.” She said, and Calliope smiled.

“If you want, I can do it dear. It probably wouldn’t take too long, and I can make sure it’s all organized.”

“You don’t have to, I can’t make you do all my work.” Jade said, and Calliope shrugged.

“You know I don’t mind. Besides, don’t you have to set up all of your chemistry stuff, anyway? I’m not sure I would know how to do that safely.” She said, and Jade put a hand on her chin.

“Hm, good point. Alright then, thank you for the help!” She said, and Calliope smiled.

“It’s a pleasure.” She said, and teleported herself up the stairs as Jade walked after her. “Tavros, you can return home if you want.” She said, and Tavros nodded dutifully.

“Uh, right. It was nice to meet you all! See you later, Jade!” He said, and after a moment’s concentration, he was gone. Dirk returned into the house, and Jade had a variety of Bunsen burners, test tubes, and other items all sitting in the corner of the room. The blonde strider frowned.

“Do you have enough space to set all that stuff up here?” He asked, and Jade sighed.

“I can make due. Besides, it’s not like I really need to start messing with the elements while I’m here. Hopefully, I’ll have other stuff to fill my time.” She placed her hands on her hips, and Dirk raised an eyebrow.

“Are you sure? I mean, if you need a separate room for all this, I have space at my house. I don’t mind installing a miniature lab if you need to. Those glass tubes look a little cramped, and I doubt we’d want any accidents happening. You look like you’re dealing with some serious stuff.” Jade blinked.

“Are you sure?” Dirk smiled at that. Something about Jade just made people want to do things for her, even though she was clearly more than capable on her own.

“Sure, it’s no issue for me.” He said, and Jade grinned.

“Then, I’d love to.” She said, a little relief in her tone. “But I don’t know how we’d get it all over there-”

“Leave it to me!” Calliope said, and Jade grinned.

“Alright, thank you.” Jade said, probably for the tenth time that day.

“I’ll give you a house key. I can’t keep a girl away from her chemistry lab.” He said, and Jade smiled.

“Thanks, do you mind if I visit often? I think the only place I stayed in more often than my lab back at home was my garden.” She said, and Dirk looked at her with interest.

“No, I’m sure Dave won’t mind either. So, you’re a practically fictional instrument playing, robotic arm wielding chemist, gardener werewolf. That’s quite the set of interests.” He said, and Jade shrugged.

“Eh, I like to stay busy. I mean, I never really had anyone to speak physically to on my island, so I picked up a few hobbies. The chemistry thing is just so I can relaunch my grandfather’s company when I get older. It’s fun though.” 

“Wow, that’s impressive.” Dirk commented, and Jade smiled, a little embarrassed.

“What about you?” She asked, feeling genuinely curious.

“Well, besides trying to keep a hormonally unstable teenaged vampire alive, I dabble in robotics, and I like anime. Oh, I DJ sometimes too.” He said, and Jade blinked.

“Hormonally unstable teenaged- Oh, Dave.” She said, finally understanding. Dirk laughed at that. “So, you’re his guardian?” Jade asked, and Dirk smirked.

“Yeah, that’s what the council tells me. I just keep him not dead, from hunters. Of course, I’m dating one, so you know how that goes.” Jade shrugged.

“Not really, but I’ll take your word for it. I hope I get to see Dave more often though.” She said, and Dirk shrugged.

“You can see him right now, school’s out.” Jade looked through a window, noticing the night sky.

“I won’t be disturbing him, right?” She asked, and Dirk shook his head.

“Not unless he’s off ranting about John again- and if he is, please disturb him. Want to come visit? I was planning on heading home soon anyway.” He said, and Jade shrugged.

“Sure!” She said, and Calliope, who’d been unintentionally eavesdropping (she was in the same room, arranging her wardrobifier) spoke up.

“I can bring you back, along with dropping off your lab items, if you’d like.” Calliope said, and Jade smiled.

“If you could, that would be great.” Jade said, and Dirk went downstairs, informing Jake of his plan. Jake nodded, receiving a kiss on the cheek from his boyfriend, then offering Jade another one in her hair, before the two got in Dirk’s truck and sped off into the night.

As they rode in Dirk’s vehicle, Jade rolled down the window and stuck her head outside of it, enjoying the breeze on her face. Dirk didn’t comment, and Jade’s long, black hair blew back behind her as they drove towards the strider household. Once they finally reached the building, Dirk left his car on the driveway and decided to enter through the front door.

“Dave, I’m back!” He called, causing the vampire to turn down his music and answer.

“Great, welcome home!” He shouted, and Dirk smirked.

“I brought a surprise!” He said, and Dave answered.

“Is it Chinese?” He asked, and Dirk responded with a smirk.

“Nah, better- from some island!” He said, and Dave frowned.

“What? Hold on, I’m coming!” He shouted, and opened the door to his room. He hurried outside it, then looked down at his brother from the balcony. Instead of shouting, he spoke in his inside voice now that he didn’t need to be heard over music. “Now what did you- Sup, Harley?” He said, a grin breaking out on his face despite his ‘chill’ tone, and she grinned.

“Hi, Dave!” She said, and Dave immediately started running down the stairs. Once he reached the bottom, she’d jumped on her taller friend with a hug, and he gladly received it. Once they finally let go, he grinned.

“Hey, it’s nice to see you Harley.” Dave said, and Jade grinned.

“You too, Dave. How are you?”

“Oh, you know, same as always. So, you moved into your uncle’s house?” He asked, and Jade nodded.

“Yeah! It’ll be exciting to live with someone, finally.” She said, and Dave raised an eyebrow.

“Oh, that’s right. Well, I already told John and Karkat about it. So, you’ve got a weekend crew to roll with, when you’re not off in multi- billionaire engineering land.” He said, and Jade laughed.

“Believe it or not, it’s not that glamorous. Also, I’ll be putting up my chem. lab here.” She said, and Dave’s eyes widened behind his shades.

“Really? That’s going to be great! Don’t blow up my turntables though.” He said, and Jade rolled her eyes.

“Please, the only explosions that will happen here are going to be contained. Still, don’t come inside. I’d hate to accidentally tear you apart, molecule by molecule.” She said, and Dave scoffed.

“You couldn’t do that. Destroying this face would be a crime too heinous for anyone to commit.” He said, and Jade shrugged.

“Eh, I’m sure someone can do it. Still, no messing around in there.” She said firmly, and Dave put his hands up.

“Alright, calm down. I’m not going to. Still, it’s awesome that you’ll be living so close. The only one out of the loop now is Rose.”

“Maybe Callie or Kanaya can teleport her in.” Dave looked confused.

“Kanaya?”

“Yeah, it’s some weird pureblood power thing she figured out how to do.” Jade said, and both Dave and Dirk exchanged glances.

“Interesting.” He said, thoughts racing through his mind. Maybe she could help him. After all, he couldn’t just sit around- he had a deadline for mastering those powers, and it approached daily.

“Yeah, it’s pretty cool. Either way, I’m glad you’re here. Karkat and John are pretty excited too. We should hang out Saturday.” He said, the invitation sounding inviting.

“That sounds like a plan! And don’t worry if you and John happen to run off or get separated from us, I don’t mind.” She said, and then turned to Dirk. “But first, where’s all my chemistry stuff going?” She asked, and Dirk took it as a cue to speak up.

“Right this way, Jade.” He said, and she immediately started following him. Dirk descended down to his layer of the house, and led her past his still open workshop. Equius returned home already, but he left the door open.

“Wait!” She said, upon noticing one of the robots in the room. “Is that… me?” She asked, glancing down at the unfinished Jadebot.

“Yeah.” He said, and Jade walked into the area, overlooking the machine. “I made her for Davebot, actually. Dave’s friend Equius and I are working on it.” He added, and Jade ‘oohed’ and ‘aahed’ at the machine for a few minutes until she continued following him towards her room of choice. She ended going down another stairway, and they ended up in an underground layer of the home. He led her to the large, empty but refurbished room, and Jade grinned on sight.

“It’s perfect!” She said, and Dirk smiled.

“I’m glad. You can set up here whenever you need to.”

“I’ll call Calliope now.” She said, and after the first ring of her cell phone, Calliope appeared next to Jade, surrounding her with a multitude of chemistry related lab items. “Thanks, Callie!” She said, feeling general appreciation. Calliope waved her hand in the air again.

“Honestly, it’s no trouble Jade. But, if you don’t mind, could I have a snack?” She asked, and Jade grinned in understanding.

“Sure!” She said, putting her hand out. Calliope grabbed Jade’s hand gratefully and sucked in some of her happiness energy, then let go. She looked more refreshed, and the swirls on her checks glowed.

“Thanks dear, I can’t imagine what I would do without you.” She said, then looked at Dirk. “Anyway, are you ready to go?” She asked, and Jade put a hand over her mouth in consideration.

“Hm, well, can I say goodbye to Dave and Mr. Strider first?” She asked, and Calliope shrugged.

“Actually, you can call me Dirk, or Bro.” He said, and Jade nodded.

“Oh, sorry Dirk.” She said, and brightened. “But thanks for letting me borrow your room, In the name of science!” The girl added, and Dirk nodded.

“Any time, Jade. Seriously, you can come in whenever, once I duplicate our key. Any niece of a boyfriend is welcome in the Strider household.” He said jokingly, and Jade smiled.

“Thanks. Can I go say bye to Dave?” She asked, and Dirk nodded. The girl sprinted up the stairway almost effortlessly, and appeared at the top less than a minute after Dirk flash stepped up. They appeared in front of Dave, who’d been waiting for them, and Jade smiled at her friend. “I have to go.” She said, and Dave looked up from behind his sunglasses.

“Aww man. Well, I know I’ll see you soon, right?” He said, and Jade grinned.

“Yeah you will. I may be assisting John with April first.” She said, and Dave glared at her.

“No way, why’d you defect to the dark side?” He asked, and Jade grinned.

“He promised not to prank me if I did.”

“Traitor.” Dave said, and Jade shrugged.

“An unprakned traitor is better than a pranked… everyone else. You guys better watch out this year.” Jade said, and Dave raised an eyebrow.

“Oh yeah? What if I have an advantage too?” Jade snorted.

“Please, all you can do is join him. There is no beating John Egbert, and no advantage would help you. In fact, if your advantage is relationship wise, then you may get pranked even harder. Be prepared to receive the smack down.” She said, grinning, and Dave looked down in defeat.

“I’ll get you back for this.”

“I would love to see you try. Bye!” She said, and Calliope took it as a cue to teleport the girl out of there. She giggled, offered them a skeletal wave, and disappeared.

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 JAFNF Chapter 69

(Thursday, March 25)

Jade woke up early the next morning, finding it difficult to sleep because of the time change. She’d briefly seen Roxy that morning, and after greeting the woman, Roxy left to visit John’s house. Jade decided to get ready, and once she’d finished, she saw Jake heading away for school. While he went off to work, Jade decided that she’d get some things done today, and that meant reestablishing her garden. Unfortunately, she had no idea where the nearest plant store was, so she checked her phone.  Almost immediately, she found the nearest one, then looked around her room. She’d put her transportilizer somewhere- ah. Jade found it in the corner of her room, and it immediately brought her back over to the island.

After looking around for something that could transport both her and what was sure to be a copious amount of seeds besides her legs, she found something that would work. It came in the form of a small cube, and it could apparently transform into a small motorbike, of sorts. It wasn’t surprising- Grandpa had tons of handy inventions lying around. Jade decided to take it back to Jake’s house, but not before checking on Bec. He was fine, and she offered her first friend a hug. He rewarded her with a lick to her face, a present she didn’t necessarily mind, but still felt a little grossed out by. Well, she didn’t mind washing her face anyway. As she returned to Jake’s home with the object, she put it down, removed the slobber from her face, and went outside. After making sure she had her wallet, she put the small contraption on the driveway and expanded it.

Immediately, it presented her with a uranium fueled miniature bike, and she set off to find some plants. After her arrival at the store, she asked around, and a few people told her what would bloom around this time. After picking up everything she needed, she returned home, laid out the basic groundwork for her plants, and sat in her room, bored. She needed color and life in her room now, not after however long it would take for these to grow. With a sigh, she stood on her transportalizer again, and returned to her island home a second time. After figuring out what would grow from her current plants in her new environment, she took as many as she could carry back to her room.

Upon her arrival, she made sure there was a lot of sunlight coming from her window, and figured out where to place things in the area. After spending an hour or so on that, Jade collapsed on her bed. She wanted to sleep- it was getting close to her usual sleep time, but she forced herself to stay awake. The task wasn’t hard so far- after all, she hadn’t eaten anything that day, and all she craved was red, red meat.

She used Google and found a place that sounded promising: ‘Longhorn Steakhouse’, and decided she’d give it a shot. So, she boarded her green motorbike, found the nearest one, and walked inside. After being seated, she hardly looked at the menu, and instead readily addressed her server.

“Just give me the biggest steak you have please, well done.” She requested, and while the server looked surprised at the request, he shrugged, wrote something down, and sped off to complete her request. Jade looked down at the clock on her phone. Even if it took a while to eat here, she’d be back home by two, at the latest, and that left the rest of the day for her to find something to do. Once she finally received her food and finished it (definitely to the waiter’s surprise) she paid, tipped, and left. She had nothing else to do now- maybe she could visit the school? It’s not like she had anything better to do, so she hopped on her bike and rode back to the high school she’d visited months ago.

After putting her motorbike in her pocket, a task that she could most likely only do with her werewolf abilities, she walked inside the building, and looked around until she found a library. After a moment of consideration, she decided she’d just find a good book to read. So, she sat down, crossed her striped tight covered legs, and started to read. The book wasn’t especially interesting, but it definitely made the time pass. After a few minutes of her reading, Jade noticed people walk in, but she never looked up from her book.

“All I’m saying is, you two would be cute together!” A boy’s voice sounded, and Jade couldn’t help herself, that was cause to make anyone look up.

“Yeah, come on. It would be cute, and you have a better chance now than ever.” Another voice said. It sounded familiar. Actually, when Jade looked up, she realized John and Dave were speaking, along with Karkat.

“I wouldn’t even know how to do it.” Karkat said, and John scoffed at that.

“Oh, that’s totally just an excuse. You’re like, the king of Rom Coms.” John said, and Dave looked at him pointedly.

“You know that you could do it, Karkat.” He said, and Karkat crossed his arms.

“I’m not living in a romance comedy.” John came up to him then.

“Sure you are, all you need now is your loveable wingman!” John said, and smirked at him slyly. “And I think I found someone to fill the position. Now all we have to do is wait for a cheesy series of events, and make a plan for you to ask her! This is going to be great!” John said, and Karkat sighed, defeated.

“I don’t even know what to say. What if she says no? I don’t know why she wouldn’t say no.” Karkat said, and Dave rolled his eyes at that.

“Please, she likes you man. Just do it.” He said, and John looked towards Dave.

“I don’t see you going after any dates right now, Dave. But this is about Karkat, and I think he should go for it! The next time you see her, just ask. I know she’ll say yes.” Karkat shook his head.

“What? I don’t have any time to plan- I can’t just ask!” John put a hand on his friend’s shoulder.

“Hey, it’s not about the big romantic gestures. That’s your comfort zone, go outside it! She’ll appreciate it more if you don’t hide your face behind a corsage the size of the Eiffel tower. Just look at her, and ask! I don’t think she’s into the big, flouncy, cheesy thing anyway.” John said, and Karkat sighed.

“That’s even harder though!”

“And she’ll appreciate it more. Think about it- despite the fact that she’s a fangirl, has she ever struck you as the type of person that wants 50 people witnessing some gigantic show of romance?”

“Well, no-”

“Then don’t do it! Just look, and ask. I know you can, Karkat.” John said reassuringly, and Karkat sighed.

“But I don’t even know if I want to. Our friendship is already pretty weird, we greet each other with insults. Who else would do that?” Dave spoke up then.

“Exactly, you won’t find anyone else you can do that with. Just do it Karkat. If I can, you can too.” He said, and Karkat looked up, a little hope on his features.

“You think so?” Dave and John shared a glance, then spoke at the same time.

“Yes!” they said, and Karkat rolled his eyes.

“Alright, I’ll do it.” He said, then immediately shrank down. “What about her family?” He asked, and John slapped his forehead.

“You already know them, they already like you!” At that point, Jade stood up. She’d eavesdropped far too much. Still, she was curious- who was Karkat talking about? Could it have been her? It could have been someone else. She couldn’t just assume it was her. Did she even want it to be her? Well, she could think about it later- right now she had something far less eavsedroppy to do at home.

One nap later, Jade woke up in a panic. She’d only slept for about two hours- make that three, but still she felt disoriented. Then, she felt her panic even more when she realized that she still had that book. She hadn’t meant to steal from the library, but it looked like she managed to do it anyway. So, without a second thought, she raced past her uncle and started to go outside. If her uncle was home, that meant school was out, so she didn’t have to worry about running into any of her friends… or Karkat.

That also meant she didn’t have much time before their library closed, and she had to hurry. Thankfully, as she took her bike back to the school, the area was still open. Jade hurried inside and put the book on the librarian’s desk, then hurried to sneak away. Unfortunately, Dave, Karkat, and the librarian all walked out of a door, and she had to rush to hide behind a bookcase. She tried to silence her breathing, and overheard their passing conversation.

“Be sure to drink some water, you’re looking pale.” They passed by her, and she stayed deadly silent, before they spoke again.

“Thanks, Ms. Maryam.” That was Dave’s voice.

“Of course- Karkat, where are you going?” Shit, was he coming back near her?

“Nowhere, I just left something. You guys can head out, it’s no big deal.” He said, his voice casual.

“Alright man. See you later, and remember what we talked about.” Jade could practically hear the eye roll that came with his next response.

“Yeah Strider, I will. See you tomorrow.” He said, and the other two evidently walked out the door. Karkat passed by the bookshelf again, then sat on the other side. “I don’t appreciate being watched.” Karkat said, and she felt her breath catch in her throat. “I know you’re there. I know you know what I am.  So, why are you following me?” He asked, and Jade didn’t respond. “You were there earlier too, in the library. If you’re a hunter, you’re doing a shitty job.” Karkat said, and Jade gulped.

“If you’re following me to try to kill me, I don’t doubt that you can. If your tracking skills are this bad, your fighting has to make up for it.” He said, and paused. “But.” He said, and Jade felt a chill run down her spine. “If you’re trying to kill my friends, you’re not going to survive. If you want to report information back to whatever little hunter’s guild, you can report that you’re trying to kill innocent people. We all have lives to live, and if you’re tracking me and my friends, you’re hunting down people that have no interest in hurting people. We make substitutes to the blood urges- fuck, we have hunters on our side. So if you’re going to try to kill me, fine. But just keep that on your conscious when you do.”

“In fact, I’ve got a little more to add to that baiting conscious of yours. You want to hear about me, the person you’re most likely about to kill? Well, if you don’t, you can stab your holy sword through this bookcase, I can’t stop you. But if you’re listening, here it is.”

“I was eleven- it was five years ago. As you probably know by now, I’m a preacher’s kid. So of course I was labeled as a goody two shoes. I was the one teachers chose to look over the class, the person you’d believe if it was my word against someone else. I resented it at first, but after a while, I went with it.” He said, shaking his head. “I’d use it to my advantage. I would hurt people, for no other reason than the fact that I could.” Karkat paused again, taking a breath. “But it caught up with me- Karma’s a bitch, especially when you’re a stupid eleven year old with something to prove.”

“It was late one night, and I wanted to sneak out. I figured I could always just put the blame on someone else if something went wrong. It’s not hard. So, I put on a hoodie, felt cool, and snuck out on my bike. It was great. I rode around, and my dad was out on a preaching conference, while my older brother was recovering from a week with a total of two hours of sleep. He was academically gifted that way. I went to seven eleven, brought a slushy because I could, and went out on my bike again.”

“Back then, I really liked movies. I do now too. But then, I wanted to test my luck- see if I was really as untouchable as I thought myself to be. See how many clichés I can stay alive in for one night.” Karkat paused again, and sighed. “I started with the first dark alleyway I could find, and rode my bike through there. I was fine. I even gave a spare dollar to some homeless guy, and my conscious was clear for the night. So, I didn’t think there was anything wrong with trying a second one. By my fifth, I was starting to get bored but I figured I’d try one more before I returned home. There’s not much for an eleven year old to actually do at night, and my slushy already lost all its flavor.”

“So, I went in that last one, and saw some guy sitting there in a hoodie. His head was down, and he looked like he was avoiding the world. He looked tall, but eventually I found out he wasn’t any older than me. I said hello. Maybe it could have made the night interesting, I don’t know. But he looked up at me, and he had this weird… paint on his face. I was understandably freaked out- you don’t meet many mimes at two in the morning. Still, I was a tough guy. I wanted to seem nice, so I swallowed my gut reaction and asked him if he was okay. Then, I saw it. This weird, orange mass underneath his hoodie.”

“The head of the hoodie accidentally came off, and apparently the orange mass on his head was the start of his horns. They weren’t huge then, but they were growing. I was confused out of my mind- he closed his eyes, like he didn’t want to see himself doing what he was doing, and lunged.”

“I tried to fight him off, but he was bigger than me, and I’d never had experience with a fight in the church. He pinned me, and bit my neck.” He said, and Karkat sighed. “Really, it just felt like a pinch. He didn’t take much blood, but I was surprised from the attack. I passed out for a second, and when I woke up, he was standing over me, his ungrown horns showing. He looked almost… concerned.” He said, shaking his head.

“He told me I needed to get home, and took a sharpie off the floor, then picked up my cup. He wrote me an address, and told me to come visit the next time I could. He told me he would explain everything, but that I had to go home then. And I did.”

“The next morning, I woke up with an insane headache, but I thought it had just been a dream. Then, I saw the cup, and ran to the bathroom to heck my neck. Two holes were there, and naturally, I freaked the fuck out. After a day with headaches, no matter how much medicine I took, I went there. I didn’t know what to expect or what to do, but I came after school. The guy was there.”

“As you can probably guess, he explained that I’d become a vampire, and said he was a troll. Apparently, the species he’d turn this month was vampire, and that’s why I’m a vampire, not anything else. I told him he was crazy. He described my symptoms, and told me a lot. I didn’t believe him at first, but eventually I started to. I accidentally mentioned my father- something I’d grown accustomed to do in troubling situations, and he told me I couldn’t tell him, no matter what. He told me what they’d do. I didn’t believe him- he was my father! Then he took off his makeup, and I believed him. He had three, long, ugly scar lines across his face, at eleven years old. I found out they were from holy water- some crazy church hunter tried to kill him slowly with the water, and torture them.” Karkat took a deep breath, like this part was more painful than anything else he’d said.

“I.. that was when I met Caliborn. He was living with this kid, and we were all the same age. Actually, he’d been to my middle school. For some reason, this guy didn’t go to our school, but Caliborn did. He told me to stick with Caliborn. I listened. And that may have been a bigger mistake than sneaking out that night, to be honest.” Karkat said, then sighed. “You’re pretty quiet. You’re not still hoping I don’t know you’re there, right?” Jade slumped down, and her voice was small when she responded.

“No.” She said, and Karkat blinked.

“Well, are you going to kill me? Report back to some leader? Deal with the fact that your life is a lie, and that you’ve been killing innocent people? Come on, stripe tights.”

“No, I’m not a hunter, Karkat.” She stepped out from behind the bookcase, and Karkat, who stood defensively first, had his eyes widen in shock.

“Jade? What the fuck?” He asked and Jade sighed.

“I wasn’t spying on you. I came here earlier today because I remembered they had a library, and I’m here now because I accidentally stole a book and wanted to bring it back.” She said, and Karkat looked at her, almost unresponsively.

“You heard.” He said, and Jade sighed.

“I heard a lot. I didn’t mean to eavesdrop on whoever you’re planning on asking out, but good luck. And for the rest…” She said, and Karkat glared at her.

“You didn’t stop me.” Karkat said, his hands balling into fists. “I shared my life story with you under the assumption that I would die and you didn’t stop me. I even gave you time to say something, but you didn’t.” He said, and his voice was terrifyingly calm for the anger she saw coursing through him.

“I’m sorry.” She said finally. She couldn’t say anything that would save her. Karkat turned away from her.

“Too far, Harley.” He said simply, and she thought back to a conversation they’d had a month or so ago, about boundaries.

“I know.”

“I’m going to leave now. You already know not to share this.” he said simply, and he started to walk out of the library. Karkat hesitated, like he was going to say something, but thought better of it and walked out. After a few minutes, Jade did the same. She placed her motorbike on the concrete once she got outside, and returned to Jake’s home.

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JAFNF Chapter 70

(Friday, March 26)

The next day, Karkat returned to school with a scowl on his face. The second John saw him, he knew they were due for a feelings jam. He didn’t have to ask what was wrong, or even go through the process of wondering if he was okay.

“Your place or mine?” John asked, and Karkat sighed.

“Yours.” He said, and John nodded.

“Do you mind walking?”

“I did it before.” Karkat responded, and John looked at him, his eyebrow raised. “No, I don’t mind.” He said afterwards, and John nodded, satisfied. They could talk about it later, anyway. Dave appeared behind him, and grinned, oblivious to Karkat clearly being upset.

“You’re free Saturday, right?” He asked John, and John blinked. He realized it was Friday, and he thought about it.

“After training, yeah.” John said, and Dave smirked.

“Perfect, we’re hanging out with Harley at the outdoor mini mall. Karkat included, of course.” Dave said, and John gave Karkat a sideways glance. He seemed more tense since Jade was mentioned.

“Uh, yeah. We’ll talk about it, but I’m up for it.” Dave raised an eyebrow at the wording, but shrugged.

“Yeah, alright. Thanks, John.” Dave said, and Karkat didn’t say anything. “Also, did you finish your homework last night?” He asked, trying to divert the subject.

“Which answers do you need?” John asked, and Dave gave him a crooked smile.

“Numbers 25 and 26 in biology.”

“They were the first two results on Google.” John said, and Dave smirked.

“Yeah, but that would take too much work.” John rolled his eyes but retrieved the paper from his backpack, and Dave picked up his copy. He searched through his backpack, found his red pen, and easily copied the work. In truth, he didn’t mind actually doing his own work, and he actually planned to do it, but now that it served as a distraction from Karkat’s unsourced tension, Dave didn’t mind copying. Once he finished, along with adding little ‘ironic’ hearts to John’s paper, he returned it to his friend.

“You didn’t doodle on it, did you?” John asked, and at that, Dave could only smile slyly.

“Inspiration comes when it comes, John.”

“It’s not a penis, right?” He said fearfully, and Dave laughed.

“Calm down, it’s not. Just look for yourself.” John looked at the paper, and found the surplus of hearts, cupid arrows, and the words ‘John + Mr/Mrs. Perfect’ surrounded in hearts everywhere.

“Dave what  did you do?!” his voice grew incredulous, and Dave winked.

“Well, Irony happens when it happens. Just be grateful that your homework got to receive such beauty, John.”

“I’m never letting you borrow my homework again.” John said, and Dave grinned.

“You said that the last two times. Admit it, you like it.” Dave said cheekily, and John just looked away and grumbled, a tinge of blood rushing to his ears. Dave looked surprised- his friend didn’t argue.

“Whatever, Dave. He said finally, and Dave grinned. “But, I did have to ask you about something. You know May 26 th is coming up, right? I mean, after finals, but still.” John asked, and Dave panicked for a second. Then he realized John was just thinking about the platonic things behind the day… also known as their broniversary.

“Yeah, I know. It’s on a Thursday this year, right?” He said, and John nodded.

“Yeah! Did you want to hang out? I mean, since this is the first time we’re doing it in person and stuff.” John said, a little embarrassment entering his tone. Dave blinked. He just assumed they were already planning to hang out.

“Sure. I mean, I kind of assumed we would-”

“Me too, I just had to ask.” John said, and he grinned. “It’s almost been ten years!” He added giddily, and Dave smirked.

“Nice to know you’ve been keeping track. That won’t spare me from any April fool’s pranks, will it?”

“Dave, you know me better than that. And now that I see you in person, well… don’t hold anything against me.” John said, and Dave shook his head, pretending to be upset.

“What a shame. You sure there’s nothing I can do to get out of it?” He asked, and John shrugged.

“The only way you get out of this is if you’re dead, Dave. Sorry, but that’s how it goes. Don’t hate the player, hate the game!”

“I hate the game.”

“That’s what makes it fun!”

“For you.”

“Let me have this. But all pranks are off after the first of April. You think Mrs. Perfect will have confessed by then?”

“Give them time, it’ll happen when it happens.” Dave said, adding a noncommittal shrug. John sighed happily.

“I hope you’re right.” He said, and took a glance back at Karkat. He still wouldn’t join their conversation, and John was worried. Still, he would help his friend as soon as he could, and that time would come that day, not now.

__

Later that day, John offered Dave a goodbye hug, then set off towards his home. After arriving with Karkat, he took him over to his room, turned on Failure to Launch, and skipped through movie previews. John pressed pause right before the movie started.

“What’s wrong?” He asked him, and Karkat sighed, flopping back on the boy’s bed.

“It’s Jade. I saw her yesterday.” Karkat said, and John’s eyebrows fell.

“Did she say no?” He asked him, and Karkat sighed.

“I didn’t ask. She’d been listening to us when we talked about her in the library, but she didn’t know we were talking about her. Then, she returned to the library to bring back a book. She hid from Dave and I while we were walking out, after school, and I thought she was a hunter. I told her the story of how I became a vampire, because I thought she was going to kill me. I didn’t know it was Jade, we weren’t face to face. When I finished telling her, she showed me who she was, and not a hunter.”

“So, you didn’t want to tell her that?”

“No, it was personal! I just thought it may help ‘the hunter’ realize they were going after an innocent person. She could have told me who she was- we both already said biting was on our ‘trigger list’. So I wanted to wait until I was ready to tell her that. I didn’t want her to know, and now she does.” He finished, and John sighed. “I don’t think I’m up for hanging out tomorrow, to be honest. I really don’t want to see her right now.”

“Are you going to forgive her?” John asked, and Karkat shrugged.

“I still care about her, she just made a mistake. She crossed a line, and I’m not fucking okay with that.” Karkat said truthfully, and John nodded.

“Well, do you know if there’s anything she can do to make it up? What would you want to happen to you, if- or really, when you cross one of her lines?”

“I don’t know, you think she’ll think of me differently, now that she knows this?”

“Karkat, I think she’s more worried about how she can ever try to fix what she did than about what you did. Whatever that is.” He said, and Karkat sighed.

“Do I just say ‘I forgive you’? How do I know she won’t do this again?” John put a hand over his mouth as he thought about how to respond.

“I’m sure she will. But consider that you probably will too Karkat, and she’s going to be just as upset about it as you are now. If you need to skip tomorrow, that’s fine, but talk to her. Tell her you forgive her, if you do. Things probably will be awkward for a little bit, but you’ll go back to your old selves eventually. Just… talk to her, okay?” John said, and Karkat looked down.

“I will. I think I have to hold off on the whole asking out thing for a while.”

“Yeah, I understand. Now, do you want to watch this, or what?”

“Failure to launch? I didn’t think you were into this sort of thing.”

“It’s good! Just watch it. You got me to watch mean girls.”

“At a sleepover. Anything can happen during those.” Karkat said, but he didn’t object when John pressed the play button on the movie. They watched it, and ended up enjoying the comical reactions between Tripp and Paula, before a cell phone ringing interrupted them. Karkat picked it up and walked away from John, who paused the movie. “Really?” Karkat said, and he sighed. “Come the fuck on Kan, you know how I feel about Fridays.” He listened some more. “Can I at least finish this?” He asked, and stayed silent for a few minutes, before answering in a defeated tone. “Alright, I’ll see you then. Yes, Fir Drive.” He said, and hung up.

“You have to go?” John guessed, and Karkat nodded.

“Unfortunately, I have to go. My dad’s having some stupid ass pastoral meeting, and I need to be there, for whatever reason. My brother’s coming in twenty minutes.” Karkat said, and John checked the timer on the movie.

“Aww, we have like, an hour left. Well, did you like it?” John asked, and Karkat nodded.

“Yeah, I was getting into it. Tripp’s going to find out, right?” John wanted to respond, but John cut him off. “No wait, don’t spoil it! Can we finish it next Friday?” He asked, and John nodded.

“Totally. Is movie night a regular thing now?” He asked, and Karkat smirked.

“I guess so. So, I’ll see you for Friday’s movie night. Tell Dave I can’t make it tomorrow.” Karkat said, and John nodded solemnly. “And… don’t bring it up to Jade, alright?”

“Of course I wouldn’t. You guys will handle that in your own time.” John assured, and Karkat thanked him.

“Also, do you think you’re getting third wheeled tomorrow, since there’s going to be three of you?” Karkat asked, and John shrugged.

“I don’t know. I mean, we’ve all really known each other for a while. Dave and I are nearing our six year broniversary.” John said, and Karkat raised an eyebrow, as if he didn’t already know about the term.

“Broniversary?” He asked, and John grinned.

“Yeah, it was when we met online ten years ago, and became best friends. We’d always celebrate it one way or another, but we’ve never done it in person. I’m giving him this collage of ironic selfies he sent to me when he was eleven, and I was ten. He said he lost the pictures after he sent them to me, so I found the files from waaay back. Do you think it’s good?” John asked, and Karkat nodded.

“Wow, you remembered a conversation from when you were ten?” Karkat asked, and John shrugged.

“Yeah, pretty much. Hopefully, this will make up for the ones he lost.” John said, and grinned. “I wonder what we’re going to do!” John said, and Karkat rolled his eyes.

“Don’t worry about that John, he’s taken care of it.” He said, and John’s eyes widened, while Karkat’s hands covered his mouth. “I mean-”

“He told you? Don’t tell me- it’s a surprise, isn’t it.” John said, and Karkat shrugged, a little sheepish.

“Sorry, John. That was honestly just a slip up, but yeah- don’t think about it, just go with whatever he does. You’ll be surprised.” Karkat said, and John grinned.

“Alright. Oh no, is this one thing enough? He put all this time into it, and-”

“Hey.” Karkat said, silencing John. His voice grew reassuring. “That’s a really sweet gift, and he’ll appreciate it. The fact that you saved the pictures at all is really nice, but going back to find them after six years? That’s really thoughtful. He’ll love it.” Karkat said, and John looked up, a little embarrassed.

“Are you sure? Maybe I should have gotten him something different-”

“No, that’s perfect. Don’t change it.” He said, and John let out a sigh.

“Yeah, you’re right. Thanks, Karkat.” John said, and Karkat smirked again.

“Hey, that’s what I’m here for.”

“I thought you were here to deal with your not- yet- girlfriend issues.” Karkat rolled his eyes at that, but before he could offer a retort, a female voice cut through their conversation.

“John? Karkat’s brother is here!” Roxy said, and Karkat let out a long sigh, then picked up his backpack.

“Well, time for me to go. Wish me luck.” Karkat said, and John bounced off his bed.

“I’ll walk you out.” John said, and offered Karkat a smile. “And good luck.” He added, and when he descended the stairway, he found both his brother and his father standing at the door.

“Oh, Karkat. Thank goodness you’re here.” His father said, then offered both Roxy and John an earnest smile.

“Thanks for having him over.” He said, and Roxy grinned.

“It’s a pleasure, father Vantas. We’re more than happy to have him here.” She said, and John added his words.

“Yeah, thanks for letting him come over!”  

“Thanks for inviting me, John. I kind of needed this.” He said, and John grinned.

“Anytime, Karkat. Weekly movie night is always needed!” He said gleefully, and Karkat snorted.

“Yeah. Anyway, see you Monday. Tell everyone I say hi.” He said, and John grinned.

“Will do, see you.” He said, and with that, Karkat and his family departed. After closing the door, Roxy looked around, before confirming that no one else was there.

“Johnny, I’ll be away this weekend on surveillance. Let your dad know I’ll be away, and I’ll check in with Jake pretty often. I’ll be back in a few days, okay? Full moon’s the 31 st .” She said, and John nodded.

“Understood. Do I still have training tomorrow?” John asked, and Roxy shook her head.

“No, Jake’s busy, Dirk wanted to do some repairs on Davebot, and I won’t be there, so you’re off the hook for tomorrow.” Roxy said, and John nodded, almost reluctantly.

“Alright. Well, when are you leaving?” He asked, and Roxy turned so her sword would be in view.

“Right now. See you later, John!” She said, and started to make her way towards her parked car. John felt surprised by her sudden departure, so as she started to enter her vehicle outside, John had to run to stop her.

“Wait!” He said, causing Roxy to stop. John hugged her, staying careful not to smash the sword in his side. “Have a good trip.” He said, and Roxy wrapped her arms around the boy.

“Aww, thanks John. I’ll be back before you know it, okay?” She said once the hug broke, and John nodded. She got into her car, and John waved as she drove away, then returned inside his home. He couldn’t wait to ask Jake how she was doing, but for now, he had something else to do- homework.

_____________________

JAFNF Chapter 71

(Saturday, March 27)

It was Saturday, and John stood in his mirror, making sure he looked alright. After all, he was supposed to go meet Jade and Dave at some outdoor mini mall place. He said goodbye to his Dad, then got in his car, and found the area. It actually had a few people walking around, and most of them appeared to be teenagers. So, he searched around- he needed to meet them by the ‘Big golden A’, according to Dave. As soon as he saw the place, he groaned. There were at least three locations with golden ‘A’s, and all of them seemed to be populated with multiple people. John quickly took out his phone, only to find that Dave texted him less than an hour ago.

Turntech Godhead (TG) began pestering Ecto Biologist (EB).

TG: Hey, John.

TG: Jade said she couldn’t make it today.

TG: She says sorry though.

TG: So, I guess it’s you, me and Karkat?

TG: Oh wait, you’re not here.

TG: Well, see you two in front of the A.

EB: Dave!

It took his friend a few minutes to respond, but he did eventually.

TG: Hey, what’s up, John?

TG: You here?

EB: Yes, but Karkat couldn’t come today.

EB: He says Hi.

TG: Oh, really? Man, that’s shit.

EB: He’s the reason Jade didn’t come?

TG: Uh…

EB: Never mind, I bet they both weren’t really feeling it this weekend.

EB: Anyway, yes, I’m here, and there’s at least three giant golden A’s in this place.

TG: I’m at the one by Panera bread?

EB: Oh, really? Hold on, I’m at the one near the entrance.

John put his phone away and began to walk towards where Dave would be. He faintly felt his phone buzz, but assumed it was something along the  lines of ‘okay’, and walked towards the area. Once he finally reached it, he found a few passing people, and none of them were Dave. After looking around for a few seconds, he pulled out his phone, but found the last text Dave sent him to not be ‘Okay’.

TG: Alright, I’m coming to you, stay there.

EB: Where are you?

EB: Oh wait, sorry

EB: I went towards you.

TG: Seriously?

EB: Hey, I said sorry. Do you want me to come back to you?

TG: No, stay there, I’ll come towards you.

EB: Okay, sorry :B

Within a few minutes, the Strider walked back across the parking lot and finally found John again.

“John!” He shouted from one side of a crosswalk, and John, who’d been looking down at his phone, looked up and grinned sheepishly.

“Dave!” He said, and started running towards his friend. Dave’s usual face broke into a smile at the sight of his friend, then, despite the fact that his sunglasses blocked part of his peripheral vision, he noticed a car. On a direct collision course with his friend’s body. Or rather, he didn’t really notice it, but he knew what would happen- the car would hit John, stop, but not before John’s legs would suffer the permanent cost. He saw John’s father, his brother, John crying, a wheelchair-

“Stop!” He shouted, and John did. Instantly, the car drove by, and didn’t impact John’s body at all. His friend stepped back for a second at the feel of wind rushing past him with the car’s speed, checked that the road was clear, and ran back over to his friend.

“Whew, Thanks for seeing that Dave, you saved my life!” He said, wrapping his arms around his friend. Dave hugged back after a second, but he was confused. His head was turned away from the vehicle, and there was little chance that he’d actually seen it. Still, he knew, down to the model of the car what was there. Dave shook his head.

“Uh, yeah, no worries. You should look both ways before you cross the street.” He said with a (totally not forced) smirk. John elbowed him softly.

“Okay, sorry mom. Anyway, if both Karkat and Jade aren’t coming, does that mean it’s just us?” John asked, and Dave decided he’d think about the incident later. It probably wasn’t a big deal anyway. And, John’s phrasing definitely gave him other things to consider. Namely, they included the fact that he had John to himself today, and they could go do whatever they wanted.

“I guess so.” He said, nonchalantly. “It still sucks that Jade and Karkat couldn’t join us though.” Dave said, and John sighed.

“Yeah. This would have been a nice time to get them together, but oh well. Karkat can do without his supportive, third wheeling wingmen, right? And, now we get to hang out. I feel like we haven’t done that in a while.” John said, and Dave nodded solemnly.

“We’ve been pretty busy, but you’re right. Still, we can make up for it now, huh?” Dave asked, and John nodded giddily.

“We can! So, let’s go I guess. Which way do you want to start walking?” He asked, and Dave shrugged.

“I don’t care, left?” He said, and John followed his friend with a shrug. So, they  walked around for a while. John would point at things they saw in windows, and Dave would comment, or vice versa. At one point, they had a conversation about being superheroes, and at another they talked about twilight, comparing it to their lives. They spoke about everything and nothing, and after a while, Dave dared him to enter Victoria’s secret. John took the challenge immediately, and Dave ‘jokingly’ picked up some lacy thing and suggested it would look good on John.

They left the store after that.

Eventually, the two grew hungry, so they went into some pizza place. John chose cheese for the half of the pizza he’d own, and Dave ordered the other half. After the waitress walked away, John thought about the food for a second, and panicked.

“Wait, Garlic!” John said, and Dave looked surprised.

“What, are you allergic?” He asked, and John just stared at him for a second.

“Dave, really?” He said, and Dave understood, with a blush of embarrassment covering his ears.

“Sorry, I forgot!” He said, and John raised an eyebrow.

“You forgot your ‘allergy’ to garlic?” John asked, poking fun at the vampire, but they dropped the subject. Luckily, they noticed their server, a young lady, around their age and walking by their table, and John spoke up. “Uh, sorry to bother you, but do you serve your pizza with garlic?” He asked, and the young woman blinked.

“Yes, we usually add it to the crust. Did you need extra?” She asked, and John shook his head.

“Ah, no. See, I’m… Allergic! Yeah, I’m super allergic to garlic, do you know if you could get it removed from our meal?” He said, and the man nodded.

“I’ll see what I can do.” She said, and hastily sped off to the kitchen. Dave sighed.

“Thanks, John.” He said, but John shook his head.

“Don’t thank me, thank the waitress. She’s the one that’s probably going to get yelled at because they need to remake our pizza.”

“Yeah, but I would have forgotten and died. You saved my life.” Dave said, and John smiled at his friend.

“No worries, right?” John said, referencing his friend’s words earlier that day, but Dave shook his head.

“No way, that was bigger- the garlic would have killed me for sure. I should make this up to you. I’m paying for lunch.” Dave said, and John looked at his friend.

“I swear, if you try to pay for lunch alone I’m leaving right now.” John said, and Dave frowned.

“Why not? You literally just saved my life.”

“You did it too, and you said not to worry about it. You don’t need to compensate me for this. We’re best friends. I don’t want to be paid off for saving your life- being your friend is more than enough compensation. So no, I’m not letting you pay for my pizza, okay? We already agreed we’d split whatever, and I’m not changing that.” John looked determined not to let his friend pay, and eventually, Dave relented.

“Fine.” Dave said, slumping back in his seat. “But still, thank you.” He added, and John relaxed.

“You’re welcome- thank you too, Dave.”

“You’re welcome.” Dave said, and their conversation went idle for a minute. “You know… earlier today, when I told you to stop?” Dave asked, and John looked up.

“Yeah?” He asked, but before John could say more, the waitress appeared, and set down their food.

“Sorry for the wait, but here’s your pizza, without garlic. Will there be anything else, Jo- er, sirs?” She asked, and John spoke up. He realized she looked familiar for a minute, but decided not to comment.

“I’m okay, but thank you for changing the order. I really appreciate it.” He said, and she smiled.

“Yeah, thanks for that.” Dave added quickly, before the waitress spoke.

“It’s no issue! Enjoy your meals!” She said, and quickly walked away to her next table. John picked up a slice of his plain cheese, while Dave held a piece of his ‘meat lover’s’ pizza in his hands. After a few bites, John spoke up.

“Uh, you were talking about that thing with the car earlier, right?” John asked, and Dave swallowed, then nodded.

“Yes, I was. When I told you to stop, it was weird. It felt like time froze for a second, and I knew what would happen. I don’t even think I saw the car.” Dave said, and had a frown on his face. John looked at his friend worriedly.

“Well, maybe it was one of those things where it felt like time slowed down, but you could actually do things?” John asked, and Dave shrugged.

“I don’t know, maybe.” He said.

“Either way, I’m glad you did.” John said, trying to get his friend to smile. Dave looked strange after the occurrence, but John didn’t realize it had been bothering him all day. A small smile found itself on Dave’s face.

“Yeah, me too.” He said, and the two boys went back to eating. John spoke after a few minutes.

“You know, our waitress looks really familiar.” John said, and Dave raised an eyebrow.

“Really? I don’t know, I haven’t seen her before.” Dave responded, and John shrugged.

“Well, it was still pretty nice of her to go in there and change that. I’m appreciative.” John said, and smiled. “Can’t have my best friend dying on me.”

“Hey, I’m appreciative too. It would be a tragedy if you had to bury this face underground. Or, this dust I guess.” Dave said, and John blinked.

“You turn into dust?” He asked, and Dave shrugged.

“It happens to all of us eventually. It would just happen much sooner- aka, instantly for me.” Dave said, cramming his fourth slice of pizza into his mouth, while John nibbled on his second. The blue eyed boy was never much of an eater, anyway.

“Hm, that’s interesting.” He provided, then looked down at his food. He’d barely gotten though his second slice, and realized he couldn’t finish it all. “Hey, do you want this? I don’t think I can finish.” John said, and Dave raised an eyebrow.

“Really? Did you even eat anything today?”

“Dad cooked, so he shoved a muffin down my throat.”

“Really? I couldn’t survive on a muffin and… two slices of pizza? Seriously, how are you not starving?” Dave asked, and John shrugged.

“I don’t know. Maybe it was because mom and dad baked so much when we were younger that I can’t eat anything now? Either that or I’m just not great with grease. ” John asked, and Dave shrugged. “Either way, if you want this, you can have it. I don’t want to carry around a box all day, to be honest.”

“I don’t mind holding it.”

“I don’t want you to either!” John said, and Dave shrugged, then casually picked up the slice.

“If you say so. Thanks.” He said, and John shrugged. After Dave finished, their waitress returned, presumably with the bill. “Oh, is that the bill?” Dave asked, and the waitress responded immediately.

“Ah, no! Actually, it’s just the receipt- your food was paid for by someone anonymous.” She said, her ears flushing as she spoke. Dave looked confused, while John just looked surprised.

“Wait, really? I wish I knew who- well, if you can, please, please tell them thank you for us. That was really nice.” John said, and the server’s entire face turned bright red, but she nodded.

“Ah, sure. They’ll know. Anyway, here’s your receipt.” She said, starting to hand it to John, then Dave talked too, his voice sounding suspicious.

“Can I see it?” He asked, and the waitress quickly handed him a second copy.

“Sure!” She said quickly, and Dave blinked.

“Thanks?” He said, and the waitress looked at John again.

“Uh, sorry, but I have to do other tables- thanks for coming!” She said, and quickly walked away. John blinked at her odd behavior but smiled, and put the little piece of paper in his pocket. The two friends stood up, prepared to leave.

“Wow, that was really nice of whoever did that.” John said as they started to head out. Dave frowned.

“John, it was her.” Dave said, and John looked back in confusion.

“What? Her who?”

“The waitress.”

“Why do you say that?”

“I could tell.” Dave finished for him. “She was blushing the whole time.” Dave added matter- of- factly, and John shook his head.

“No way, it was probably someone else.”

“Whatever.” Dave said, and they walked on in silence after that. John looked up at his friend, trying to figure out what was wrong. After a few minutes of trying, he decided he’d just ask.

“Dave, what’s wrong?” John asked, and Dave didn’t say anything for a minute.

“Nothing.” He finally said, and John frowned.

“Dave, what’s wrong? What did I do?” He asked, looking away. “I know something’s wrong. If it’s me, just tell me- I’ll try to fix it.” John added earnestly, and Dave stopped walking. He wanted to tell John why he was upset, and why he really wanted to deck that girl in the face, but he couldn’t.

“It’s… the thing from earlier, with the car.” Dave said finally. He wasn’t sure he could explain this correctly to John. After all, he barely understood it himself, but he knew he was upset.

“Why?”

“You could have died.” Dave said, and it was true. Okay, maybe it really did upset him more, now that he thought about it. Despite the weird vision he had about wheelchairs, death was a possibility too.

“But I didn’t.” John said, his voice soft. “I’m fine.”

“But what if you weren’t?” He asked, and John looked down. “What if it hit you, and it broke your legs?” He asked again, and John didn’t know what to say.

“There’s always what if’s. I’m fine, you don’t have to worry about what could have happened.” John said, and Dave sighed.

“I know.”

“Then why are you upset?” John asked, and Dave looked down. By now, they were sitting at some available outside table.

“Have you heard of that multiverse theory thing?” Dave asked. “With thousands of universes that each have different timelines?” John’s eyebrows scrunched together.

“Yeah, I get the basics of it. Every situation has a different outcome, and there’s a different timeline for every one of them, right?” John asked, and Dave nodded.

“Basically.”

“That doesn’t explain why you’re upset about this.” Dave took a breath.

“I feel like… it happened. There’s a universe where you got hit by that car.” Dave said. “And another one when I ate the garlic on the pizza. And one where we’re both fine.” Dave said, hugging his knees to his chest. “I could have- no, I am in the one where we’re all fine.” Dave said again, and John shook his head.

“What? That’s just a theory.”

“It’s true.” Dave said, and John looked confused.

“How do you know?”

“I just do… it’s true.” Dave said again, and John fell silent at that. He didn’t know what to say. What could he have said to that? Well, probably a lot of things, but none of them came to mind. Eventually, John received a phone call from his father, and he excused himself to take it.

“Yes, Dad?”

“How is it going?” He asked, and John shrugged.

“We got pizza. Why, is something happening at home?” 

“Yes. Your biology teacher is here- he said he needed you.”

“He said he needed me, on a Saturday?” He asked, but it was rhetorical. “Nevermind, so I need to get home, right?”

“I think so. He won’t tell me why, but he needs to speak with you privately. Something about Roxanne. Also, Dave’s brother is here.” He said, and John let out a long, nervous gust of air from his mouth.

“We’ll be right there.” He said, and hung up immediately. He looked to his friend. “Dave, something is wrong, I need to go home.” He said, and despite his current mood, Dave still looked at his friend in concern.

“Is everything okay?” He asked, and John started walking back to his car.

“I don’t know, but I have to go find out. Did you need a ride home?” He asked, and Dave nodded.

“Yeah, my bro is out with Mr. English, but if you need to go to your house and deal with whatever, I understand.”

“Mr. English is at my house. Come with me.” He said, and jumped into the driver’s seat once he reached the vehicle. Dave sat in the passenger seat, and the boys silently sped out of the mini mall parking lot, worry on both of their faces.

______________________---

JAFNF Chapter 72

(Saturday, March 27)

When Dave and John arrived in the Egbert household, they saw their biology teacher, along with their separate guardians all sitting on the couch. Both Mr. English and Dirk had plates of cake on their laps, and it looked fresh. That was never a good sign.

“Dad, what’s wrong?” John asked, as soon as he left the garage. Jake looked up.

“John, Roxy sent out the confirmation- they tried to attack her without knowing she was a hunter. She’s fine right now, but she needs backup. Apparently, she discovered a whole ring/ cult thing of them, and they’re all planning something bad. We need to act now.” Jake said, sparing the supernatural details for the sake of John’s Dad.

“I’ll get my hammer.” He said, and looked back. “Oh, hi Bro.” John said, addressing the older Strider.

“Hey, John. You don’t mind if I-” he looked towards Dave. “Or, we join you, right?” He asked, and John shook his head.

“Oh, no, of course not!” John said, and Jake spoke up.

“Good, let’s leave now.” John nodded, raced up the stairs to get his hammer, and came back down, to overhear a little of the conversation.

“Sorry, I didn’t see it anywhere, but I have an extra shitty one.” That was Bro.

“Language!” John’s teacher said, looking back at the parent behind him, and John walked out into the open.

“So, are we going ‘now now?” John asked, and Jake nodded.

“We are, let’s go.” Jake said, and immediately, the four males started to depart.

“Bye dad!” John called, and they all jumped into Jake’s car. After a short, but mostly silent ride, they got out, and Jake turned to them.

“We’ll have to walk for a little bit if we want to meet Roxy- she’s supposedly in the outskirts of their area, and waiting to infiltrate.” He said, and the man let out a giddy grin. “I feel so bloody cool.” He whispered after a few minutes of walking in silence, and John, who felt just as giddy answered.

“I feel like we’re in a movie!” He said, and Jake nodded back, but their conversation died down. After a few more minutes, they neared what appeared to be a singular storage unit, but Jake could see that Roxy was inside it. The metal, garage like door was pried open at the bottom, and Jake inspected it. He nodded at the people behind him and opened the storage unit. They weren’t sure quite what they expected, but what they saw surprised them all- it was Roxy, sitting on a couch with her legs folded. Her sword sat by her side, and they found a hatch in the ground, through the concrete. They noticed a rolled up rug leaning against the wall, and Roxy greeted them brightly.

“Oh, hey Jakey!” She said cheerfully, and John looked at her in surprise.

“Roxy? What’s going on, you said you needed backup.” Jake said, and Roxy shrugged.

“Yeah, Their lair or whatever is down this cool hatch, but none of them are active right now. There’s like a whole place down there too. There’s a group of supernaturals right down a hallway, and they’re all asleep.” She said, and Jake frowned.

“Why?” He asked, and Roxy gave him a noncommittal shrug.

“I dunno, but they’ve got some crazy stuff going on. Those guards weren’t easy take down either. I don’t know what they’re doing, they’re definitely trying to keep it quiet.” Dirk looked at Roxy, his orange eyes meeting her pink ones at the tips of his shades.

“Okay, how much did you find out?” He asked, and Roxy shuddered.

“There’s about ten down there, and I’m not completely sure about the species. I stopped exploring after I saw that room of people, and called for backup, so I don’t know who or what else is down there.” Jake’s eyebrows lifted.

“Jiminey Cricket Roxy, couldn’t you have kept one of the guards alive, to know what’s going on in here?” Roxy’s shoulders lifted.

“Welcome to shrug city, Jakey. Really though, they weren’t an easy fight, and that was just two of them.” Dirk put a hand on his chin.

“Okay, so did they have any defining characteristics, like horns or wings?” Dirk asked, and Roxy gave him a look.

“Hey Dirk, I would have told you if they had something that obvious, believe me. The guards were strong though, and I think one was controlling the light in the room, or something. Still, that could be a lot of species.” Dirk frowned, crossing off varieties of supernaturals off his list. He looked up suddenly.

“Wait, did you see their lips? What color were they?” Dirk asked, and Roxy frowned, thinking about it.

“Hm, I think- oh my gosh, they were black, they’re daemons!” She concluded, and Dirk nodded.

“Precisely. Nice job taking those down, that’s pretty good.” Dirk said, and Roxy grinned.

“Those training robots have been paying off.” Roxy responded, and Jake could only agree. He looked at everyone in the group, suddenly more serious.

“Well, if what Roxy and Dirk have concluded is correct, we’ll find ourselves in quite the scuffle. You said there’s ten, Roxy? Is that approximate?” Jake asked, and Roxy shook her head.

“Nope! They just slept there in ten beds, in collums of five and two rows. Got any takeout strategies?” She asked. “I seriously do not want to just brawl ten daemons in that small room.” She added, and Dirk spoke up.

“Yeah, they get nasty when they’re woken up before they need to be. We should try to keep them quiet.” Dirk said, and Jake nodded.

“Noted.” He looked at the group’s weapons, when his eyes landed on John’s hammer. “Hey, there’s an idea. John, could you hit them with your hammer, and then Dirk, Roxy and Dave can stab. I don’t think the old guns are a good idea, if we need to be quiet.” Dave raised a hand, and Jake resisted the urge to say ‘yes’, or something to that effect.

“Question. Why can’t we just stab them?” Dave asked, and Roxy answered for him.

“If they’re conscious but asleep when we do it, there’s a chance they could wake up and scream, then wake everyone else up. We don’t want that.” Dave seemed satisfied with the answer, but Dirk asked another question.

“Okay, so Jake, what will you be doing while we’re dusting these guys?” he asked, and Jake smirked.

“I’m glad you asked, chap. I’m going…” he paused for a second, putting a hand on his gun for dramatic effect. “to explore.” He added. Roxy felt her mouth twitch at his effort to say something cool, and Dirk’s reaction was the same. John’s eyes widened, because he actually thought that was pretty cool, and Dave stayed impassive. “They’ve got to be doing something down here, I’m ready to figure out what.” He said, and Roxy nodded, but Dirk frowned.

“Wait, so you’re going alone? What if there’s like, another 20 daemons and they try to kill you?” Dirk asked, and Jake put a hand on his hip.

“Please Dirk, I’ve been doing this for years. I think I’ll know how to be discreet, but if I run into anything, I’ll be sure to come back to you. Okay?” He asked, and Dirk frowned.

“I don’t know-”

“Don’t baby me, this is your fist mission, not the other way around. I’ll be fine.” He said, and Dirk sighed.

“Yeah, okay. Stay safe.” Jake rolled his eyes.

“Of course I will. Now, when we go down there, we need to be extremely quiet, alright?” Jake said, and everyone nodded. John broke in though.

“Oh, one last question. Are you sure that they’re like, bad guys?” John asked, and Roxy raised an eyebrow.

“They tried to kill me when I got here, without asking questions.” She said, and the answer was more than enough to justify things for John. In an instant, they climbed down the hatch’s ladder and walked down the hallway into the main room. Their shoes were completely silent on the carpet. When they got to the room it was a little darker, but most of their eyes adjusted in time. They looked out on the area, and just as expected, twenty daemons slept peacefully. Jake looked around and noticed a door. After a second of listening to the other side and finding only silence, he gave everyone a thumbs up and went inside.

John went to the first daemon, and hit them on the back of the head as instructed. He winced when the partially hollow metal made a sort of loud sound, and decided he would make his hammer smaller. After minimizing it, he moved down the line of daemons, causing light blunt force trauma to the back of their skulls, and Roxy walked up behind him, killing the first one he’d incapacitated. The body turned to dust in seconds, and John’s eyes widened but he didn’t comment.

After killing a few, Dave noticed his brother looking at the door in worry. He rolled his eyes, and touched him lightly on the shoulder. He couldn’t talk, but pointed to the door, then pushed his brother towards it. Dirk looked down in surprise at his younger sibling, and gestured to John and Roxy, who worked together to silently kill a few. He noted that Dirk’s sword lacked dust, then pushed him towards the door again, making it clear that they could handle things in the area. The man sighed, then sent his brother a grateful expression in the slightly dark room. He moved to the door and walked inside, and Dave went back to killing the daemons.

As Dirk walked in, he found that the hallway had a lot more light, and made sure his glasses were recording. The man walked carefully, and looked at the bright walls of the area. After a while he saw a few doors, and wondered which ones Jake went down. With a sigh, he put his ear against the first one, and heard nothing but the hum of a machine. He should have been able to detect at least a few footsteps, so he kept going. After walking on a little, he saw more doors. Dirk checked them all. At the last one, Dirk prepared to walk away when he heard something, or someone shift. Then, silence followed. He put a hand on the door, and opened it quietly. What he found inside was a gigantic room, and lights were on.

There were tubes, and each had restraints big enough to harness a human inside. They were empty, except for one. A college aged girl sat inside and was asleep. Dirk’s eyes widened when he saw her. She had red hair and dark, black lips. Her skin was a little pale, and he took a step back. The girl wore black and teal, and seemed to be unconscious. Dirk had his hand on his sword, and looked around the room. It was like a typical surgeon’s room, mixed with one of those creepy alien tube areas that you see in movies. He couldn’t figure out what was going on or what they were looking at, but it made his jaw set.

There were a variety of pills around the room, along with quite a few syringes. Dirk looked at them, and they all appeared to have different colors. They had a periodic table on a wall, but the symbols and element names were all off. They didn’t seem to correspond to any known language, and he continued looking around the area. After getting a detailed synopsis of the entire room, he decided it was definitely time to go back.

Dirk made his way out of the room, his sword still in his sheath. He returned to the room full of sleeping daemons, and found that Dave killed the last of them. Thankfully, these creatures didn’t bleed out slowly. Once someone inflicted a death wound, they became dust instantly. John saw the last one die and Dirk noticed him shudder, but he saw the man looking and gave him a thumbs up. Roxy walked over to him.

“Hey, things clear back there?” She whispered, and Dirk put his hand from side to side.

“I didn’t check every room. But, I found something, you guys should see.” Dirk said, and Roxy waved Dave and John over. The shorter of the three looked up at Dirk, but he didn’t offer any more information.

“Follow me.” He said quietly, and opened the door to the hallway. Jake was walking out of a room, and he looked at everyone with surprise. “I found something.” Dirk whispered, and escorted everyone to the room. Jake walked in first, followed by the three blondes and John.

“Wow.” Dave whispered, and Jake looked at the area in surprise.

“Great gazdooks. How in blazes did you find this?” Jake whispered, and Dirk smirked.

“I was…” He paused, similarly to Jake, and posed. “Exploring.” He said, and the action made Roxy snort, and Jake rolled his eyes.

“You should have run into me in the first or second room then.”

“I was looking for movement, you were pretty quiet.” Dave spoke up after that.

“Then, what moved in here?” He asked, and John took the liberty to point at the girl in the tube.

“Bro, who is that?” John asked, and Dirk sighed.

“I saw her and brought you guys in here.” John walked over to her tube, and saw the number 003 printed by it.

“Three? Are there two others here?” John asked, and Roxy walked over to him.

“This is some weird movie stuff right here, Johnny boy.” John blinked. The girl seemed to move a little, and John realized she was asleep.

“Should we wake her up?” John asked, and Jake shook his head.

“Absolutely not, we need to make sure this place is daemon free, she could alert them of our presence.” Dave spoke up.

“Do we even know how big this place is though? So far we’ve got a ton of crazy rooms, people locked up in tubes, and everyone here is too strong to take hostage, so we’d have to kill them. In other words, we don’t know anything about this place or its occupants. The only person we already have chained up here probably isn’t going to alert the others, and she could stand to know a thing or two about whatever the fuck is going on.” The blonde said, and Jake frowned.

“But if she does raise her voice, we’re taking a bloody large risk, and with such a large group, escaping this facility may be difficult. I suppose we could, say, hold a sword at her throat, but we would have to break the glass to do it.” Jake said, and Dirk looked at the machinery.

“Hm.” He said, running his hand along the tube. He searched for an access panel of some sort, to help him open up the area. Eventually he found one, and raised an eyebrow. “If I cracked this, we could make the glass slide off. It may take down the restraints though.” Dirk said, and Jake’s eyebrows lifted.

“That’s certainly an option. If you can do it, go ahead.” Jake said, but Roxy broke in.

“Hey, I don’t mind giving it a shot, Dirk. You said the glass slides, right?” She asked, and Dirk nodded.

“Probably, judging from how the metal’s cut. You think you can get just the glass?” He asked, and Roxy smirked, pulling out her cell phone.

“Oh, I don’t think so.” She typed a few things in, and Dave looked at her curiously. She tapped some popup on the screen, then tapped a few more things. After sliding her fingers across the screen, she looked at the tube expectantly, and the glass slid apart. “I know so.” Dave was impressed, while John wanted to laugh at all the crazy lines their group said today. The girl seemed to wake up as she heard the glass slide open, and John stood in front of her.

“Hi!” He said, his voice cheerful. Dirk, Roxy and Dave had their swords unsheathed, and John had his hammer extended. They were ready to fight if they needed to, but hopefully, they didn’t have to do it. The girl seemed groggy at first, and her voice came out uncertain until she fully woke up.

“Oh, hey dude. What’s the sitch?” She asked, and the question surprised everyone. John continued talking with her though, and looked back at the people behind him.

“Was that Kim Possible?” John asked, and she nodded.

“Uh, yeah bro. Who are you?” John looked up at the student and offered her a nervous smile.

“I’m John. I’m also one of these awesome hunter people, and-”

“Wait, are you going to kill me? I’m innocent, I swear.” She said, and John blinked.

“No?” He said, looking back at Jake. He shrugged. “I mean, maybe. Hopefully not, if you don’t get us killed too.” John said, and the girl raised an eyebrow.

“Dude, I’m not doing that, I want out of this place more than anything. So if you’re not more of those scientists, could you help me get out? Things have been wack in here.” She said, and John blinked.

“Scientists? You mean, the daemons? Do you know how many are here?” He asked, and she frowned.

“I counted like, ten people, and these two bodyguards. They kidnapped me however long ago, and I’ve been stuck with them force feeding me weird pills and injections and stuff.” John turned around, and Jake looked relieved.

“Fantastic, we took them all out.” The girl’s eyes widened.

“Wait, wait, wait. Slow your role, you killed all of those people? Dude, how, when they kidnapped me I didn’t even get close to running away. That’s bogus.” Dave smirked.

“Bogus or not, we did it. We’re kind of awesome.” Dave said, and John snorted.

“That’s actually really rad, bro.” The girl said, and Dave felt cool for a second, but John broke in.

“Don’t get too impressed, they were asleep. But Roxy did unlock this glass for you, and Dirk found you, so they’re pretty cool.”

“Haha, fuck yeah I am.” Roxy said, and Jake broke in.

“Hey, what about me? I’m cool.” Jake said, and John turned to look at him.

“You have double guns, of course you’re cool Mr. English.” John said, but the words didn’t help as much as John thought they would. Jake seemed to wilt.

“Yeah, but I never actually did anything cool today. All of you guys did the heavy work, I was just looking through bloody boring stuff I couldn’t read.” Jake said. Dirk, however, spoke up to combat this.

“No way, you’re cool and valuable to the team. After all, you went out here all alone, and thought of our battle strategy today. You’re just as cool as anyone here, and even cooler, in Dave’s case. Trust me babe, you’re awesome.” Dave, put off by the quick jab to his coolness, responded before Jake could say anything.

“Hey, who are you to judge who’s cool Bro, you unironically watch every episode of My Little Pony. Seriously, If that doesn’t-”

“Uh, hey guys.” The girl broke in, stopping their conversation. She was smirking, but she saw that the younger blonde was probably about to diss the older one hard, and she was still stuck up there. “You know, I’m sure you guys are cool and all that, but it would be cooler if you got me down from this thing. Not that I’m not all enjoying this discussion here, but these body restraints are kind of a bummer.” She said. And John looked at Roxy.

“Can you take her down?” He asked, and Roxy nodded.

“Sure thing Johnny cakes.” She said, and typed in a few more things, then walked over to the keypad and typed in four numbers. “You know, they have really great wifi down here, considering that we’re underground.” She commented, and at once, the restraints broke. The girl started to fall face first into the floor, but John caught her.

“Thanks, John.”She said, and John helped her up.

“No problem! Um, I guess we should keep looking around? Or, something?” Jake spoke up.

“Actually, we should probably get going, I think we’ve done enough exploring for today.” Dirk noticed the girl’s black lips, and frowned. In an instant, he sent Roxy a text. She still had her phone out, and avoided looking at Dirk. She read it silently, and her eyes widened. She quickly typed back a reply, and Dirk’s subtle nod was enough to make Roxy tense again. In an instant, she pulled the vial of knockout liquid from the strap across her chest, and quickly combined it with the clean miniature towel in her pocket. She disguised her actions as discreetly as possible, but John, Jake and Dave conversed with the girl. Roxy moved towards the access panel, and effectively behind her. Roxy made eye contact with Dirk, and in an instant, the woman had the rag around the student’s mouth, and Dirk restrained her. Latula’s eyes widened, before she glared at John, but he seemed surprised by the development too. In seconds the lack of air forced her to breathe in, and she fell unconscious.

“What in the blazes?” Jake asked, and Roxy looked at him.

“Yeah um, what’s going on?” John asked, and Dirk answered.

“She looks like a supernatural. I can tell she’s not wearing lipstick, and she’s inside a daemon facility. We need to go, in case this is a trap.” Dirk said, and Dave sighed.

“What about her?” Roxy shrugged.

“We can take her with us. She seemed to know a little too much about this place, Jakey, and there’s no way to guarantee we killed everyone.” Roxy added, and Jake slapped a hand to his forehead.

“Don’t tell me we’re kidnapping again.” He said, and Roxy smirked.

“Sure, okay. I won’t tell you.” She responded, and Dirk lifted the girl with ease. John looked at her in concern, and they exited the area as quickly as they could. Climbing a ladder with an unconscious person was going to be a challenge, but they suddenly gained inspiration to move faster. A person walked out of the hallway, into the main room where the dust of the scientists stayed on the beds. The stranger blinked, saw the hunters, and their eyes widened. They looked ready to fight, and Roxy drew her sword, but they did the opposite. The other person ran back down the hallway, and started shouting something in a language they didn’t understand.

“Cripes. Let’s go!” Jake said, and immediately they all ran back to the ladder. The group passed the unconscious girl up the ladder, then everyone piled out, and ran away from the seemingly normal storage unit. In an instant they were at the car.

“What do we do with her?” John asked, and Roxy searched for a solution.

“Dirk, put her in the trunk, let’s go!” Jake fumbled with the keys, muttering British and American swear words under his breath. Dave made no visible reaction, and jumped in the car. Both Roxy and Dirk had their hands on the door for shotgun at the same time, and they called it in harmony. They heard the faint murmur of a siren from beneath their feet, but Dirk looked at Roxy.

“I carried her here.”

“I always ride shotgun.” Roxy responded, and Dirk crossed his arms.

“I never get to ride shotgun.”

“What are you two doing, get in the bloody car! They’ll chase us!” Jake said, and Roxy looked at Dirk.

“Dirk, I’m sitting in that seat.” Dave over heard the debate, and launched himself out of the car. They really had to go, right then. He pushed Roxy away from the door, then immediately got in the shotgun seat, forcing the other two blondes to sit in the back. “Hey, not cool Dave!”

“We don’t have time, they’re coming!” Dave said, and it seemed to shake them out of their childish trance. Dirk and Roxy sat in the back seat, and Jake wanted to drive off, but he yelled something first.

“Seatbelts!” He said, and Dave’s eyes widened.

“Seriously?”

“This car doesn’t move until we’re all buckled in.” The second their seatbelts clicked, Jake sped away, just as they heard the sound of yelling and footsteps. John saw an arrow sail beside the car, but after making a turn or two, they were safe. The group sat in silence for a few seconds, before John let out a deep breath and fell back against the car seat in relief.

“Wow.” Jake said, breaking the car’s silence. Dave, now assured that they were safe, turned around.

“Yeah, wow. Really guys, shotgun?” He asked Roxy and Dirk and both looked at each other, and shrugged.

“Okay, maybe not the best thing to worry about at the moment.” Roxy said, and Dirk crossed his arms.

“Yeah Dave, I think we all learned a valuable lesson from this.” Dirk said, and Dave looked back at him.

“And what is that?” He asked, and Dirk smirked.

“Always buckle up.” He responded, and the words made John choke out a laugh in surprise, while Dave sputtered.

“No, that is not the lesson!” He said, and Roxy looked at him.

“Really Dave, you’re saying we shouldn’t buckle up? Think of the children!” She said, her voice incredulous. She scooted over to John, and put his hands over his ears. “Don’t listen John, the batter witch has infected him with her lies!” She added, causing John to cross his arms.

“Hey, how am I the children?” John asked, and Roxy removed her hands from his ears.

“You’re the youngest one in the car, Johnny boy.”

“I’m sixteen!” John said, and Dave smirked back at him.

“Egbert, you’re not helping yourself.” Dave said, and Dirk nodded.

“Yeah, really not the best way to improve a debate.” Dirk added, and Jake looked at him in the rearview mirror.

“Hey Dirk, ease up on the lad. You were certainly acting a little immature a few minutes ago. In fact, if I recall, John was the first one in the car.” Dirk spoke up to defend himself.

“Well, I had to carry that person.” Dirk said, and Jake sighed.

“Right, can we talk about that? You two really shouldn’t have just jumped off like that. I mean, I understand now that time was of the essence, but you should have been more careful. We can’t just, jump and kidnap people.” Dave looked at him.

“Oh yeah, speaking of that. Where are we taking her? I mean, I love having Kim Possible back in the trunk as much as anyone else, but part of me is worried that she’ll break out her cheerleader fighting moves and be pissed off at us kidnapping her. I mean, she looked angry as fuck when she realized what was going on. She could have easily just, you know, walked along with us.” Dave said, and Roxy sighed.

“You two are right, sorry. To be fair though, her knowledge seemed a little suspicious, and inaccurate. Also, we should bring her back to John’s house. I feel like if anyone’s going to actually be able to care for this unconscious college girl, it’s Jacob and John. If you’re okay with that, of course.” Jake sighed.

“You know his father is going to ask questions.” Roxy shrugged.

“I feel like he has the right to know, by now. I mean, we all know him. He deserves an explanation, since he knows all of us.” Roxy said, and John sighed.

“Yes, I want him to know too. He always seems so worried when I leave for training and come back with a scratch, or something.” John said, and Jake shrugged.

“Okay then, off to John’s house we go.” The car ride fell into silence again, and Jake turned on a radio station.  Some jazz with a strange baseline played, and no one argued over the choice in music. John leaned against the window and sighed. Roxy leaned back, and the group drove away.

Eventually, they arrived at John’s home, and John practically rolled out of the vehicle. When they went inside John’s home with an unconscious girl, his dad took one look at the group. They all had varying amounts of gray dust on their clothes and held an array of weapons. Dirk held a girl that looked a little older than John and Dave, and they tossed her on the couch.

“Uh, hello.” Jacob said, making his presence known. Roxy looked up at him and grinned.

“Hey, Jacob! How’s it going?” She asked brightly, and he looked down at her, a small smile on his face despite their strange situation.

“Oh you know me, I’m doing great. So, why is this… happening?” He asked, referencing the girl on the couch.

“Take a guess.” Jake said, and Jacob put a hand on his chin. He was a little curious about what he’d think they were up to.

“Well, my son, girlfriend, my son’s friend, his friend’s legal guardian, and his teacher all came into my house covered in dust with an unresponsive body. Besides the fact that those words sound like a setup for a joke, I have no idea. Were you grave robbing or something?” He asked, and Dirk snorted.

“Not exactly, this one’s alive. I think. Do you mind if we keep her here, for now?”

“How many policemen should I expect within the next week?” He responded, getting a laugh from Jake.

“Hopefully none. I think.  Uh, she should be waking up within an hour- the anesthesia should be wearing off.”

“Anesthesia?” John’s father asked, then looked towards John. “Okay, them, I understand.” He said, pointing towards Dave and John. “But you two haven’t started kidnapping people this early, right? Please don’t tell me that this happens often.”

“No worries Dad, it doesn’t. We’re just dealing with some special circumstances here.” John said. “It’s only happened twice, and I was the kidnapped one last time.” He added, causing Jacob to look at Dirk, Roxy and Jake.

“Don’t blame me, I wasn’t there for that. That was all those two.” Dirk said, and Jake looked at his boyfriend.

“Traitor.”

“Don’t hate the player, hate the game!”

“Does anyone plan to explain what’s going on? In all seriousness, you just brought an unconscious person to my home, and I think that deserves some explanations, now.” Jacob said, and Roxy sighed. She looked towards the counter top, and saw what she needed.

“Fine, but before we get started, does anyone want lemon cake?”

___________________-

AN: I WENT BACK AND REWROTE THIS CHAPTER AND IT WAS 11 PAGES.

JAFNF Chapter 73

(Saturday, March 27)

PM brushed her hair back, and took a worried look at her phone again. Well, tonight was the night when she’d meet with Jack. She already knew this would be no comfortable encounter, but it needed to happen. The mail carrier had thousands of questions, regrets, and accusations to make tonight, and she’d have to do it all in writing. She decided she would wear something nice, and take a taxi there, instead of just running, or flying. So, after gathering her belongings, the woman left her apartment, grabbed a taxi, and was off.

Once she arrived at the bar, she looked around for the booth seats. Eventually, she found one, and waited for Jack to arrive. In his typical fashion, he showed up exactly ten minutes late, and slid into the seat across from her.

“You look lovely tonight, Pere.” He started, and she rolled her eyes haughtily. The woman looked down to her whiteboard, and wrote furiously.

“Skip the ‘pleasantries’. Why are you alive? I thought I was done with you.” She wrote, and to her surprise, he responded back in sign language.

“Sheesh, that’s what I get for being nice. You don’t have to go through the writing thing, I can read it.” He signed, and she put down the whiteboard, and signed back.

“Answer the question, Jack.” She signed, and Jack leaned back in the seat, but spoke up.

“I played dead, cupcake. This eye patch looks good, huh?” He said, and she looked back at him, her eyes emotionless. “But seriously, removing that bullet wound was hell. What happened to that girl, anyway?” He asked, and a soft smile hit PM’s face when she thought about Jade, then it turned into a frown.

“You turned her.” She signed at him.

“Did it work?” He asked, and PM looked at him coldly.

“No, she just became a normal werewolf, as far as I know.” She signed back, and Jack sighed. “Mind explaining what you’re doing in my life again?” She signed quickly, her hands moving faster with her oncoming anger.

“Calm down, it’s getting hard to read with just one eye.” He said, and PM glared at him.

“Well, maybe we could have had a normal conversation under different circumstances!” She signed back. Now, answer me.”

“Well, after I was shot, I didn’t want to be a part of it anymore. It wasn’t worth it- I’d lost an eye, lost a friend, and was about to die. So, I left. I got up, treated the wound as much as I could once you two left, and flew out. Wanted to get my life on track again, and I started at the only place that would hire a man with no eye, no credentials for the past few years, and supernatural powers. This bar right here, the Exiles. One night, I was throwing some guy out that had too much to drink, and while l looked around for a taxi to send him off in, he asked me what my name was.”

“He who?” PM interrupted with her hands, and Jack rolled his eyes.

“Be patient, Geez Green.” He said, but continued. “I told him my name was Jack, and he said he was going to be the mayor in every state at least once, without moving up in government. I thought it was just some drunk ramblings, but eventually, I got him to take an Advil, drink some water, and drove him back to my place. He was too drunk to tell me where he lived. I was off my shift soon anyway. When I woke up the next morning, he was still there, and embarrassed as hell. I told him not to worry about it, but he told me his name, and promised he wouldn’t forget what I did for him. I didn’t care.”

“What happened after that?” PM signed.

“Well, eventually, he left, but he remembered me. So, fast forward a year, and I’ve moved from the bar to some other low paying job, but whatever. I get a call. It’s him, and get this- he asks me if he can hire me to do some paperwork.” At that, PM smiled a little.

“Seriously?” She asked, using her hands again.

“I know, what are the odds? But anyway, I tell him yes, and we start working together. That drunk rambling was something he actually tried to do, and that’s how I ended up as Mayor Wyatt’s right hand man.” He said, and PM blinked.

“The man was Wyatt?”

“You bet.” He responded, then leaned back again. “Now, what about you, Green?”

“Well, you know the girl that you bit. Her name is Jade.” She said, signing in small sentences. “Jade took me in, and cleaned up my wounds. She was living in a strange situation- apparently, her grandfather that lived on the island with her died recently. She wanted to come live with her uncle. The problem was, her uncle was a hunter.” She signed out.

“Really? Well, what did she do?” He asked, and PM continued.

“I helped her through the werewolf thing. She never did seem to get the wings or anything. I don’t know if the experiments worked- it doesn’t look like you transferred anything other than the usual, but it’s hard to tell. She was only twelve. But I helped her through it, until she could fend for herself again.”

“When did you get over here?”

“A few months ago. I helped one of her friends with a fight. After that, I deemed that she was ready to go and do what she wanted. So, I decided to pick up mail carrying again. One day, I delivered the mail to mayor Wyatt’s house. It was going to rain, so he offered me a ride. I accepted, and since then, he ordered more and more items. I saw you again mid delivery.”  She said, and Jack spoke up.

“Hm, pleasant story. So, you stayed on that island for like four years, right?” He said, and PM shrugged.

“Yes.” She signed, then added more. “Her grandfather owned some multibillion dollar company, and she’d be the heir when she turned 18. We were fine.” She signed, and paused. “Why did you do it, Jack?” She added, and he blinked.

“Well, I’ve done a lot. Anything specific?”

“Take me.” She signed slowly. “Lie.” She added, and looked down. “Pretend to-” She stopped herself. After all, he knew what she was talking about. He looked away as he answered.

“It was a job. I did it.”

“How can you just say that so flippantly? You were in the same situation as me. How could you do that to me?!”

“They told me that I was a freak. If I escaped, I’d never make it in society, after what they did to me. They threatened to kill me too, but I didn’t try to escape until they got me to help them get new subjects. It didn’t go over well, but I never kept working at escaping.” PM looked at him, her eyes set in an accusatory glare of hatred. Jack was glad glares couldn’t actually set people on fire, even in their case.

“How many, before me?” PM signed at him.

“Six. None survived, except for you. You were the last one, before we escaped.” Jack said.

“We escaped?” Green signed, her anger only growing. She doubted that her voice would have been under a shout, had she been speaking. “No, I escaped, they sent you after me, and you chased me. If Jade hadn’t shown up, you would still be doing it.”

“That’s a long time to be chasing after some dame, give me some credit.” He responded almost sarcastically.

“I still hate you.” She signed, and Jack let out a long, deep breath.

“I don’t blame you. But I don’t plan to hurt you anymore. In fact, I hardly expected to see you again. I can’t make up for what I did. I know it’s wrong, Hell, I knew it was wrong then too. So if forgiveness isn’t high on your to do list for me, I know why.”

“Are you sorry?” She signed, and Jack responded with his hands instantly.

“Yes. I’m sorry about what happened to you.” He signed, then spoke. “But I’m not sorry about where I ended up. I like my life now, even if Wyatt’s a smiling idiot. You didn’t deserve what happened to you, and I’m sorry for hurting you. I know I didn’t necessarily have to. But I did, and I’m sorry. I just know those two words won’t make up for anything.”

“You hurt me in every way possible.” She signed at him. “I don’t know if I can ever really forgive you for that, but I’m at peace with myself. I’ve moved on.” She added. At that Jack snorted.

“Clearly, Wyatt can’t stop talking about you.” He said, and PM frowned.

“I choose to ignore that statement. But, ‘speaking’ of Wyatt, he’s going to find out we know each other eventually. What do we say?”

“You mean, if we don’t go the whole ‘I’m a terrifying, teleporting, flying, sword wielding werewolf daemon hybrid thing route?” He asked, and PM was not amused. She rolled her eyes as she signed back a response.

“Yes, if we decide against saying that.”

“You could tell him part of the truth. Just say we’re exes, or something.” Jack said, and she considered it. It was the truth, after all. With the years they spent with each other in that torture facility, they ended up dating. Still, once she found out the truth about him, it was clear that things were over. So, once she escaped and he was sent after her, they hadn’t even thought about it. It was just another member on a long list of ways he’d hurt her.

“You know, we never technically broke it off.” She said with a frown of distaste. Jack’s eye widened in surprise.

“Yeah, I guess so, huh?” He said, and looked at her. “Would you do the honors?” He asked, and she nodded. The woman looked down to her whiteboard, and wrote in large letters.

“I, Peregreen, Formally break up with you Jack, and I sincerely hope to never see you again.” She wrote, and he offered her a lopsided smile. “But honestly, I doubt that will happen.” She added.

“Oh, that’s just devastating.” He said, his voice dripping with sarcasm. “Well, I’m glad that’s over with.” He said, offering her an expression that showed his lack of enthusiasm. Before he could delve into the specifics of the last four years of their lives, he received a phone call, and picked it up. “Hey, Chelle.” He said into the device. His upset expression started to change as he spoke to the woman. “Oh, just meeting with an old colleague. Why, something up?” He asked, and his eyebrow lifted, and tone changed. “Really? Wow, that’s fantastic! Did you want to celebrate?” he added, and paused for a few seconds to listen. “Nah, I’m sure I’ll see this one around soon enough, I don’t mind. In fact, when can I come? Uh huh?” He said again, and his face slipped into a grin. “Alright, I’m there. See you soon.” The man hung up the phone.

“You’re leaving? But I was having so much fun!” PM wrote, and he could see she was being sarcastic. The comment didn’t get him down though, and instead the smile stayed on his face.

“Sure. But yeah, I’ve got to go, Paint needs me. I’ll be seeing you around.” He said, and she got up too. They both used separate methods of transportation and left immediately.

__

(Saturday, March 27)

Jade sat in her temporary room in Jake’s house. He told her earlier that he had to run out, and when he finally did return, she was surprised to say the least. Her uncle left with his guns, in a hurry, and when he returned, he was dragging dust everywhere. Roxy was with him, and they both looked tired. Or, about as tired as Roxy Lalonde could look, the woman was always filled with energy. As a person that couldn’t receive less than 12 hours of sleep on a daily basis, Jade admired that.

“We’re back!” She called, causing Jade to meander out of her room.

“Hi!” She called, her voice forcing her cheerfulness. “Where did you go, Uncle Jake?” She asked, and Jake sighed.

“Hunting mission, and we explained everything to John’s father. He has a new housemate for now.” He added, and Roxy added in her two cents.

“Yeah, Dave and Dirk came as well. Oh, and we found a daemon hideout. So yeah, that was certainly part of it. Now a girl’s with Jacob and John.” Roxy said, and Jade looked a little surprised.

“Was the mission a success?”

“Pretty much.” Jake answered for her. “So, what were you up to today?”

“I dropped by my island again, and saw Bec! We hung out for a while. I missed him. Oh, and I finished John’s April fools stuff, some people are going to be very mad.” Jade said, thinking back to her white, furry companion. Jake smiled.

“That’s nice, Jade. I’m glad you got to do that. Anyway, I need to go take a shower. Roxy, you can use the downstairs one, if you’d like.” He said, and Roxy saluted.

“Aye, captain English!” Roxy said, and proceeded to march towards her bathroom. Jade giggled at the mannerisms of the two friends. It was nice that they still cared about each other after all these years. That reminded her, she had nothing to do right now. After a second of decision, she decided to head over to the Strider residence and set up her lab. Hopefully, she could do something fun while she was there, to take her mind off of… other things.  

Upon her arrival, Jade ‘parked’, leaving the condensed cube near the front porch, then walked in. After a series of stairways, greetings, and other pleasantries, she arrived in her lab- to be. With the time she had today, she decided she’d set the whole thing up, and play around with whatever. All her pure element samples were back at her island, so she just set it up as normally as possible. After a few hours, her task was complete. As she moved around the last few things, making sure she had what she needed, she heard a knock on the door. The girl quickly moved to open it, and to her surprise she found Dave on the other side.

“Oh, hi!” She said, and Dave tried for a smirk, but he couldn’t manage more than a frown at the moment.

“Hey, Sorry for disturbing you and shit.”

“No, it’s fine! I just finished up here anyway.”

“Oh, cool. Did you want to stay for ‘dinner’? It’s getting pretty late, and Dirk ordered Chinese food.” He said, and Jade blinked.

“Sure! I’ve never really had it before, so that would be fantastic.” Jade said, and Dirk raised an eyebrow.

“Never had it? Oh, that’s right, island girl. Alright, come upstairs when you’re ready, I’ll probably be there.” Jade looked towards a sink, washed her hands quickly, and resurfaced at the door.

“Alright, ready to go, Dave.” Jade said, and she followed him up their series of stairways. Once they finally arrived at the main level of their home, Dirk and her uncle, to Dave’s surprise, sat next to each other at the table. They were mid conversation when they noticed the two and greeted them.

“Hey, what’s up bro?” Dave asked, and Dirk shrugged.

“Jake came over to pick up Jade. Thanks for joining us.” He said, and Dave took a seat. They usually didn’t do family dinner, or whatever you called this, but he found he didn’t mind.

“Hullo, you two. Jade, I hope you don’t mind me being here, sorry for not calling you earlier.” Jade grinned.

“No, it’s fine! I was planning on staying for this anyway.” Jade said, and Jake nodded.

“Oh, alright. Good show then, I can’t wait to see what Dirk ordered. I’m sure it’s going to be excellent.” He said, giving Dirk a peck on the cheek, causing Dirk to smirk, Jade to smile, and Dave to roll his eyes behind his sunglasses.

“Just a shit ton of takeout, no need to get impressed.” Dave said, seating himself across from his English teacher. Jade swatted him lightly, while Jake allowed himself a smirk at his student’s words.

“I am impressed, I’ve never had it! So, thank you, I can’t wait to try it.” Jade said, and Dirk felt an honest smile tug at his face.

“Yeah, no problem. It’s nice to celebrate you living with Jake anyway, right?” He said, and before Jade could respond, the doorbell rang.

“I’ll get it.” Both Dave and Dirk said, and they both stood up, until Dirk flash stepped to the door.

“Hey, that’s cheating!” Dave called, and the rest of the people could hear the smirk in his voice.

“I may be cheating, but I’m paying.” Dirk said, then addressed the person delivering their food. They had a vast collection of bags, and containers made from both plastic and Styrofoam. Dirk gave their food delivery person the money, and they left. He returned with the food and placed it on the table, then eventually, the four ate.

It was strange, how natural this felt. Usually, any encounter between a student and a teacher at a dinner table became an awkward one, and any conversation between a parental figure’s significant other and a teenager was sure to be uncomfortable, but it wasn’t. They felt normal, in a weird way. An onlooker could hear light banter exchanged throughout the meal, but no one said thank you too many or too few times, and the only pauses happened when everyone’s mouths were full. After everyone had what they wanted, instead of leaving, they transitioned into a movie. With Dirk’s arm around Jake, and Dave’s admittedly funny commentary, the four people felt more comfortable than expected. In all, the occurrence was nice, and while they knew this was a special occurrence, they all subconsciously looked forward to the next time it happened.

JAFNF Chapter 74

(Saturday, March 27)

After eating that night, John retired to his room to ready himself for bed. He took a shower as quickly as possible, and they tried to figure out what they’d do about the girl on the couch. Once he was clean, the boy sighed with relief. All that monster dust around him was really making him uncomfortable. Before throwing his pants in with the dirty clothing, he checked his pockets, and he found a little piece of paper in there. He still had that receipt from the pizza restaurant. John wished he could find whoever paid for that and thank them. As he moved to throw the item in the trash, he realized the thin paper had dark, black writing on the side, and looked at it curiously.

The writing read, “Hi, John! Sorry for almost killing you with that garlic, this is on the house for you. See you in class!” John read the note aloud, and felt blood pool to his face. Wait, so did that mean Dave was right? Did that waitress pay for his food? And, how had she known his name? John re- read the note, and realized what it said- in class. That meant he could see her on Monday, and thank her! Still, that was overly kind of her. If anything, John should have been thanking the girl. She was more than kind to him, and he had to make this up to her. It wasn’t like with Dave- this person was pretty much a stranger, despite the fact that they shared a class. John put the receipt down and smiled, then he hopped onto his bed. He should wish for things in his head more often. As it was, he couldn’t wait until Monday.

__

(Sunday, March 28)

The next morning, when John woke up, he walked out of his room and yawned. Almost immediately after, he walked downstairs. It was Sunday morning and he didn’t really have anything to do. His dad was out, and Roxy hadn’t arrived at their home yet, so he had nothing to do. He looked around the kitchen- maybe he could get something to eat, until he realized something was missing. Namely, the girl on the couch. John freaked out for a moment, while remembering yesterday’s events. He remembered Roxy admitting to giving the girl too much of that knockout stuff on accident. So, that’s why she stayed asleep for so long, but she wasn’t there now.

Even worse, John didn’t know her name or anything, so he started looking around with a panic, until he passed by one of the bathrooms and heard a flushing noise. John crept into an adjacent room silently, and heard the sound of washing hands. The door opened, and to John’s relief, it was her.

“Oh, hi. Good morning.” John said, and the girl was startled. She jumped up, but after realizing who it was, calmed down.

“John, you scared the shit out of me.” She said, and John blinked.

“Uh, sorry.” He said, and she shrugged.

“So, are the rest of your friends coming back to finish me off, or something? I don’t really care at this point, to be honest.” She asked, her voice challenging. John raised two hands up in a defensive gesture.

“No, no. We’re not going to kill you or anything. Also, I’m the only one that’s here, but please don’t attack me or try to change me or something.” John said, and the girl raised an eyebrow.

“What would make me do something that lame?”

“I don’t know, we did kidnap you and knock you unconscious.” John said, and the girl frowned until yesterday’s events appeared in her head again. She laughed for a second.

“Damn, I guess you did. Well, whatever, you forcing me to stay in your crib, or something?” John rubbed the back of his neck, looking up at the older girl.

“I have no idea. We’re probably going to try to identify your species though. Uh, do you have somewhere to be?” John asked, and she shrugged.

“Well, you guys found me after I’d been kidnapped from school. A week or two ago, those people you were killing kidnapped me. The ones in the room outside of mine were guards, or whatever, but I don’t know what they were trying to guard. Not like it matters now, anyway.” She said, her eyebrows scrunching together. “The ones in charge- the group of them that lived upstairs, were the ones who’d give me stuff, and get data. They started giving me these weird injections, and they’d take blood and stuff, real freaky Friday shit. I never knew what was going on, but they told me about people like you- hunters. They were all ‘We’ll kill you if you try to escape’, but I still worked on escaping anyway, cause I was too rad to stay in there like a lab rat all my life. So, thanks for that.” She said, and John blinked.

“You’re welcome.”

“I wasn’t sure about what they were doing, but my lips turned black. That’s the only thing I noticed changing so far.” She said. “Anyway, I don’t have to bounce anywhere today. It’s Sunday, right?” She asked, and John nodded.

“Uh, yeah, it is.”

“Rad. Anyway, where are we?”

“My house, Maple Valley Washington. Wait, do you have parents that are waiting for you, or something? I don’t know how you’re going to explain being kidnapped.” He said, putting a hand on his head.

“Well, I’m in college right now. I totally missed a test or two, which blows, but whatever. So nah, my parents wouldn’t flip out about me not calling for a week or two. My little sister’s gonna be pissed though. I usually give her a chat every now and then, and it’s been a while.” She frowned. “I hate to be up and asking shit, but I gotta borrow your phone. I have no idea where mine is. You mind, J-Man?” She asked , and while John scratched his head at the strange terminology, he offered her his cellphone.

“Sure, here you go.” John said, and she offered him a grateful smirk.

“Thanks bro!” She said, and quickly dialed the number. After a minute or two of waiting, the other person picked up. “Hey, TZ! What’s happening, sis?” She asked, and waited for a second. “Oh yeah, I’m borrowing a phone. The kid that let me is super nice.” The woman paused. “Yeah, I don’t have it on me now, but I had to get the haps on my favorite girl.” Her eyebrows lifted. “Oh, how’s it going with this cool kid? You makin’ moves, Trez?” Latula waited for a second then laughed. “Chill out, I was just yanking your chain, girl.” She said. “Oh, really? Aw, that blows.” The girl’s black lips turned up into a smile. “You too Terezi. Stay good!” She said, then hung up. “Here’s your phone, John. Thanks.” John looked at her with a raised eyebrow, but pocketed the phone.

“Hey, did you mean Terezi, as in Terezi Pyrope?” John asked, and the girl grinned.

“You know my little sis?”

“Yeah, I go to her school.” John said, and put a hand on his chin. “She’s more of a friend of a friend, but eh.” John added.

“Rad, bro. Thanks for letting me talk to her! It’s nice to check in every now and then.”

“No problem! But, uh, can I ask your name? I still don’t know it.” The girl gave him a smirk.

“The name’s Latula, J- man. Latula Pyrope. Hold it, I think Terezi talked about you once. Are you John Egbert?” She asked him, and John nodded.

“Yes, that’s me. What… did she say?”

“Well, not that you’re a kickass hunter, if that’s what you’re worried about. She just said you were friends with some cool kid, Dave. You know him?”

“Yeah, he’s my best friend ever. Actually, he was with us when we, uh, apprehended you. The one with the shades.” John said, but Latula raised an eyebrow.

“There were two.”

“He’s the one with the normal shades.” John said. Latula thought back, and recognition flashed over her face.

“Oh! Yeah, I know him. He’s got some mad sword skills.”

“I’ll let him know. But, I think I have to ask Mr. English or Roxy before you go. Can you throw your phone number in this, since we’ll have to call you again? Also, let us know if you have any weird changes.” John said, and Latula looked at him.

“Weird changes? What kind?” John cupped a finger to his mouth.

“Uh, any horns, new abilities, urges to suck blood, wings, super speed, stuff like that.”John said, and Latula frowned, her chill attitude stopping for a second.

“Wait, I’m getting horns and stuff? You’re clowning me, right?”

“No, I mean, you may not. I don’t know. It depends on what they were doing in there. Also, don’t bite anyone. I don’t know why you’d go around biting people, but don’t do it, please. I don’t think that’s a thing you can undo. But, you are, or were a human, right?” He asked, and Latula nodded.

“Yeah, I’m supposed to be. I’m probably not supposed to be tripping about this and telling everyone stuff, right?”

“Please don’t. But if you’re done entering your number, I can call Roxy.” John said, and she smirked.

“One second.” She said, putting his phone up. She stuck her tongue out and looked up at the device, a surprisingly cool expression on her face.  After a second, she handed the phone back to John. “All finished, J man. You call up Roxy, or whoever. I probably have a ton of stuff to make up now, which blows. Not your fault though.”

“Sorry about all of this happening. Did the stuff they’d do hurt?”

“Mmh, nah. Not really. They just had me swallow weird pills and do injections and stuff. Oh, but I have a few places where they’d stick in needles. It sucked.” She added, rolling up her sleeve. “Whatever though, right?”

“Yeah, I just hope they didn’t do anything bad.” John said with a frown. “Anyway, I’m calling Roxy.” After a quick conversation with his Dad’s girlfriend, John hung up. “Uh, you’re free to go Latula, but we’ll call back later. We’ll probably need you sometime this week, but I don’t know how we’re going to figure out your species. Do you need a ride anywhere?” He asked, and Latula thought about it for a second, but nodded.

“Yeah, if you don’t mind, could you drive me back to my dorm? Where are we, in Washington?”

“Maple Valley.”

“I attend Washington State, that’s four hours!” She said, and John looked at her in disbelief.

“No way. Well, let me shower, and then we can head out. Uh, we have a downstairs shower, but I don’t know what we’ll do about clothes.” John said, and Latula shrugged.

“I can keep this on, no worries J-man. But a shower would be nice. The cleaning in there was messed up.” She said, and John nodded.

“Ouch, I bet. Well, we have our downstairs shower in the bathroom, two doors down. I think we have extras of everything, but let me know if you need something, okay?” John said, and Latula smirked.

“Can do, J- man. Thanks, by the way.”

“No problem, Latula.” He said it with a smile, and they both went their separate ways. After exiting the shower, eating, and telling his dad where he’d be, John set off to drive Latula away, and brought an extra cake with him, as a present for Latula. They had four hours and thirteen minutes until they’d reach their destination, and John found himself sailing the highway with ease. Latula fell asleep at one point, and after a while of silent driving, she woke up. The girl requested music, and he hooked his phone up to the car and asked her to select whatever she wanted. Eventually, she landed on some 90’s playlist, and John couldn’t say it was unexpected.

The remaining time of the car trip elapsed, and when John finally arrived at her college, she thanked him, especially once he gave her the cake. John felt relieved when she took it, and decided that he was hungry. So, he stopped to eat before heading on the road again, and when he finally arrived back at his home, instead of sleeping, he finished the remainder of his homework and went to bed.

__

AN: So, I threw Latula in for the heck of it, because I like her. She wasn’t originally in it (actually, she was just scheduled as an OC, but I like her, so she’s in there. About the mysterious waitress, I’m not sure if she’s going to be a homestuck character or not. I’m thinking Damara, because she was really nice pre-game/ pre Rufioh. But, if you have other suggestions, let me know. Also, short ish chapter today, because not all of them have to be long, and if I had to look up more 90’s Latula words, I don’t know what would happen. Let me know if my 90’s slang was ‘totes kickin’ the wicked buisness’, okay?


	21. Chapter 21

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 75- 82 Probably  
> 606-695  
> If you're a fan of software gore, try showing the full story. Do it, I dare you.

JAFNF Chapter 75

AN: Wow, look at how many chapters! Seriously, this is crazy!

__

(Monday, March 29)

The next day, John arrived at school feeling more alert and upbeat than ever. He saw Dave before he headed into first period, and warned him that he had news to share during lunch. The second he walked into his first period, he looked across the room for signs of the girl, but she wasn’t there. Only one person was absent, and he was male, so John sighed and got to work.

In second, third, and fourth period, he couldn’t find her. By the time he reached fifth, he felt a little deflated but didn’t lose hope, and instead moved to his friend’s lunch area. The three boys decided that they’d be in the library that day, and John greeted Dave and Karkat cheerily.

“Hey guys!” He said, his voice sunny. Karkat and Dave walked over to him.

“John, you sound unbearably happy. What happened?”

“Yeah, share the news, Egdork.” Dave added. John took a deep breath.

“Well, you know how we went out for pizza this weekend, right Dave?” Karkat looked up in surprise.

“Wait, just the two of you?” He asked, looking towards Dave.

“Yeah, Jade couldn’t make it.” Dave said, apologetically. “We would have planned better, but you know how it goes.” Karkat looked surprisingly not upset.

“It’s fine, I really wasn’t feeling up to it anyway. Jade and I haven’t talked yet. But what happened when you guys went out for pizza?”

“Well, this waitress paid for our food, and she said it was anonymous, but she left me a note on my receipt. Apparently, she’s in one of my classes! So, now I can actually thank her in person, and give her the eleven dollars I owe her.” John said with a grin.

“So, you haven’t seen her yet?” Dave asked, and John shook his head.

“Nope, she’s either in my 6 th or 7 th . That was really nice of her though, I really want to make it up to her. She even did it specifically for me. I mean, that’s really cool of her.” John said enthusiastically. Karkat and Dave shared worried glances. “Oh, and there’s more. That girl we brought back from the hunt? She’s Terezi’s sister!” John said with a grin. Karkat’s eyebrows lifted.

“Oh, really? Dave told me about… that, but you were hanging out with Latula, huh?”

“Yeah, her lips turned black, but other than that she seems fine. She’s pretty cool.” Karkat crossed his arms.

“Eh, she’s alright.” He said, and Dave looked down at Karkat.

“Wait, you know Terezi’s sister, and she was the girl that we brought to John’s house? I guess the red hair matched, but that’s a weird coincidence.” Dave said, and Karkat nodded.

“Yeah, it is. But I’ve known Terezi for a long time. So, I’ve seen her sister out and about.”

“Oh, Dave, Latula says Terezi says you’re cool.” John spoke up, and Dave smirked.

“Fuck yes I am. That was pretty nice of her. Still, you said her lips turned black? What’s up with that?”

“They were experimenting on her. I don’t know the details, but the daemons we killed were orchestrating it, along with whoever Roxy took out upstairs. So, I guess we only took out the bad guys, which was good.”

“I wonder what they were doing to her. You think she’s okay?”

“Well, I told her not to suck any blood until further notice. But, I don’t know. I hope she’s still human. We need to figure out her species.”

“Jade can probably help.” Dave said, and John nodded.

“Yeah, hopefully. Wait, Karkat, how was that pastor conference thing?” Karkat scowled.

“Shitty, as usual. It was just a bunch of people in a room, looking like they didn’t want to be there. A few were around Kankri any my ages, but we just all sat there in suits and dresses and hated everything. Or, I did. They were discussing some new method of teaching, and my dad seemed into it, but it was just kind of… ugh.” Karkat said, and John frowned.

“I’m sorry to hear that. Well, at least it’s over.”

“Yeah, I guess.” Their casual conversation continued for a while before Karkat left to go greet Equius and Nepeta. After John and Dave talked for a bit, the bell rang, and John walked towards Dave’s classroom.

“Have a good history class.” John said with a grin, but before Dave could respond, he spoke up. “Oh, and don’t tell Terezi about her sister, please.” John added, and Dave nodded dutifully.

“Oh… yeah. Right, sounds good. Wouldn’t want her knowing about our crazy twilight bullshit, right?” Dave said, and John shrugged.

“Yeah, pretty much. Anyway, wish me luck in finding our server!” John said, and Dave wanted to frown, but forced a grin instead.

“I’m sure she’ll show up eventually, Egdork.” Dave said, and John beamed.

“Thanks, Dave!” He said, and Dave turned towards his classroom while John left. Terezi looked at him as he sat down beside her, and watched him carefully for a moment.

“You doing okay, coolkid?” She asked, her lips turning down into a frown. Dave shrugged.

“Yeah, just ready for another history class in hell. We have a test or something today, right?”

“1914 map quiz.” Terezi said with a smirk. Dave raised an eyebrow.

“Comic drawings on the back?”

“Yes.” She said, grinning. That made Dave’s lips turn up into a small smile. “Alright, let’s just do one big shitty one.”

“Sounds like a plan Trez.” Dave said, and as the teacher handed out papers, they got straight to ‘work’.

__

Meanwhile, John strutted into 6 th period, looking around anxiously. When the bell finally rang, he didn’t see her anywhere and sighed. Maybe she’d be in his last class of the day. But it was a long time to wait, considering he’d been anticipating it for days now. Speaking of waiting, John was practically crossing off the days until this person finally confessed to him. It seemed like everything in his 7 th period revolved around waiting, and anticipation. As he looked down at a worksheet in boredom, an idea struck the boy.

What if this person, who would be in his 7 th period by default, was also the person that liked him? It made sense at least, and it gave him more explanation as to why she bought him that pizza. Maybe this was the first step in her series of making moves. John didn’t know, but now he was more than excited to find out. He looked up at the clock, but they still had 20 minutes until he joined his next class. Could this girl, whose name he didn’t even know really be the one that was interested in him? John didn’t know, but he was more than excited to find out.

So, he practically sprinted the his 7 th period, and he eventually found her. Dave and Karkat hadn’t come in yet, but he saw her. She had ear buds in her ears, and a t- shirt that looked like anime. John took a deep breath, making sure he had the eleven dollars. He hoped he was right about this. The shy boy walked up to her, trying to be confident.

“Uh, hi.” John said, causing her to look up. The second she saw who it was, she flushed, and removed her ear buds.

“Hi!” She offered, giving him an unsure smile. John took another breath.

“Hey, so uh, about this weekend. I think I owe you this, right?” John said, producing the eleven dollars. “I mean, uh, since you bought that pizza and stuff.” He added, a little embarrassment clear on his features. He should have practiced what to say a long time ago, but unfortunately he didn’t think that far ahead. The girl blinked, and blush covered her ears, but she shook her head.

“Ah, no! No, you don’t need to give me that, it was on the house. For, uh, almost killing you with that garlic and stuff.”

“You didn’t almost kill me, I would have been okay! And thank you for buying this, but you really didn’t have to. So please, take this. And uh, don’t say no, I’ve been trying to figure out how to repay you all weekend.” John said, trying to sound reassuring. The girl, however, shook her head even more furiously, the hair that hung out of her bun swishing around atop her face.

“No, I bought it because I wanted to! You don’t need to pay me back. I won’t accept it. Sorry…” She said, looking down. “Because, I did it out of kindness, not because I want you to pay me back.” She added. John blinked. It was eerily similar to what he’d said to Dave that Saturday, and he realized he was being the slightest bit hypocritical.

“Fine.” He relented. “Then I have to make it up to you some other way.”

“No, you don’t have to, it’s alright!”

“Don’t worry, I’m just doing it out of kindness.” John said, giving her a more confident smile. She thought back to what she said, and looked down.

“Did… you have something in mind?” She asked timidly, and John stopped the urge to fist pump himself. Instead, he said the first thing that came to mind.

“Coffee?” He asked, trying to sound causal. The girl looked up at him, surprise on her face. John wasn’t sure if she would accept, but-

“I- uh, yes. I mean, yes, that sounds nice.” She said again, embarrassed. John grinned.

“Alright! So, maybe this weekend or something? My treat.”

“Oh, alright! Thank you.” She said, and before she could continue, a bell rang.

“Great. I, uh, have to sit down now, but I’ll catch you after class…”

“Damara.”

“Right, Damara. Okay, I’ll talk to you after class then.” He said, and slowly turned to move to his seat. Most of his fellow classmates were seated by now, including Dave and Karkat. John was still evidently flustered by the event. By the time Jake came in, taught, and sent them to work quietly, Dave had already sent him a barrage of messages. John pulled out his phone discretely.

Turntech Godhead (TG) began pestering Ecto Biologist (EB).

TG: What was that?

EB: What?

TG: You were talking to someone before class.

EB: Oh, that was the person that paid for the pizza this weekend, Damara.

EB: She wouldn’t accept the money

TG: Really?

EB: Yeah, so now I’m treating her to coffee to make up for it.

John grinned, thinking about the encounter.

EB: I think she likes me.

Thankfully, John didn’t notice Dave’s form turn rigid.

TG: Oh, really?

EB: I mean, maybe. It makes sense, right?

TG: Sure

EB: She’s really nice though, from what I’ve seen. So I have that to look forward to.

EB: Wait, do you think she thinks it’s a date?

TG: Do you?

EB: I don’t know. Maybe? I didn’t phrase it that way, but we haven’t finalized anything yet.

EB: Also, I think Mr. English is glaring at us.

Both Dave and John looked up at that point, and found their teacher’s stern gaze on them. Immediately, they both decided to continue working. Once their class inevitably ended, John said goodbye to both Dave and Karkat, then waited up for Damara. She told him her pesterchum handle, and after offering him a quick smile, left. She had to catch the bus after all. John promised he’d talk to her and left the room, ready to walk home. To his surprise, he saw that Karkat waited for him.

“Oh, hey Karkat!” John said, his cheery disposition making Karkat raise an eyebrow.

“Hey, John. You know Damara?” He asked, and John grinned.

“I do now! She’s the waitress that bought me pizza. I think… she may be the person that likes me!” Karkat’s eyebrows lifted in surprise. “You don’t have to tell me if I’m right or not, it’s okay. I get it- friend code.”

“Yeah… right. So, what happened?” Karkat asked, his voice sounding anxious. John’s grin practically split his face in two.

“Well, she didn’t let me pay for the pizza, but she did agree to let me take her out for coffee! Wait, how well do you know her?”

“She’s Sollux’s girlfriend’s twin sister, and we share some classes. We talk often, but she’s really into anime. She ships with Nepeta… and me sometimes too.” Karkat said, and John’s eyebrows rose hopefully. There was a chance that this really was the person then. He couldn’t say he minded the fact that is was Damara. She was a nice girl, and seemed likable.

“Hm, thanks, Karkat. That’s good to know.”

“Is it a date?” Karkat asked him, and John shrugged.

“I don’t know. Maybe, if it’s her, she’ll confess huh?” John asked, and Karkat froze. Definitely more signs pointing towards the fact that it was her. “Just kidding, rhetorical question. You know, Dave asked me that too.”

“When?”

“He texted me, and I told him about it.”

“Is he okay?” Karkat asked, alarmed. John raised his eyebrows.

“He seemed fine when we texted, why? Is something up?” Karkat bit his lip.

“Uh, no he’s fine. Just asking how Strider’s doing, you know? Gotta care about the health and safety of my friends. Anyway, I’ll catch you later John.” Karkat said, and John realized they were in the parking lot, and Karkat probably had to go find his car. John grinned.

“Okay, see you!”  John called, and Karkat waved at him.

Once John finally reached his home, he felt for his phone. Maybe he should text her- but wait, would that be too soon? Hopefully, no. So, He pulled out pester chum and typed in her handle, annihilation Attendant.

Ecto Biologist (EB) began pestering Annihilation Attendant (AA).

EB: Oh, Hi Damara.

EB: This is John, from biology.

John waited for a few minutes and received no response, so he decided he’d work on his homework. A few minutes in, he saw his phone beep red out of the corner of his eye. Believing it was Dave, John went over to the device and checked it. To his delight and surprise, it was Damara.

AA: Oh, hello John!

AA: Sorry for not responding sooner.

EB: It’s fine!

EB: So about coffee. Are you free on Saturday?

AA: Yes, I’m pretty sure I am!

EB: Great, maybe around 12 or something?

AA: Sure, no problem

AA: Thank you for doing this.

EB: Hey, it’s no problem. Thanks for that pizza, it was good!

AA: It was my pleasure. After all, I recognized you in there, along with Dave.

EB: Do you know him?

AA: Not really, but everyone just seems to know of him.

EB: That’s true, he’s pretty popular.

AA: Most people in our school know of you too, John

EB: That’s a nice thought, but I’m not effortlessly cool like him.

AA: You don’t have to be.

AA: You’re yourself, and people like you for it.

EB: Heh heh, thanks Damara.

AA: It’s no trouble! I’m just… sharing the truth.

AA: But speaking of truths I have to share, I need to go.

AA: I’m sorry.

EB: Don’t be, see you tomorrow! :B

AA: Haha, nice face. See you!

Annihilation Attendant (AA) ceased pestering Ecto Biologist (EB).

John locked his phone again, a smile on his face as he got back to work. He couldn’t wait until Saturday.

JAFNF Chapter 76

(Monday, March 29)

The first thing Karkat did when he got home was run to his room. There were no unnecessary pleasantries to family members, or random hugs from parents. No, Karkat had no time for that. Not when he needed to talk to his friend before he lurched himself into a pit of Egbert related despair. So, when he slammed his room door closed and wiped out his phone, the first thing he did was text Dave.

Carcino Genisis (CG) Began pestering Turntech Godhead (TG).

CG: HEY, FUCKWAD

CG: I HEARD THE NEWS.

CG: YOU OKAY?

TG: I mean, shittier things have happened.

Dave’s immediate response surprised Karkat, but it was good. So, he read through more of Dave’s words.

CG: THAT DOESN’T MEAN YOU’RE OKAY.

TG: It’s not that I’m not okay.

TG: I just…

TG: Look, today was like a birthday party

TG: But a party where your dad hires a fucking clown

TG: But the clown you ordered was actually a grey and white faced mime/ juggalo guy, and he’s ridiculously tall and creepy looking

TG: That looks like he just stepped out of day of the dead yearly magazine or some shit, and he just stands there without speaking

TG: And all the people you invited to the party just look at him, because his hair’s an oily mess and he has some batshit skeleton uniform on

TG: But one kid walks up to the clown and hugs him, but then they start clinging onto his legs like a vice or something and the guy is trying to get the kid off

TG: And suddenly one kid just starts screaming and crying his head off, and it sets up like a whiny bullshit train because all the kids have to cry if one kid cries.

TG: And the dad, the one who hired the ‘clown’ is just standing there holding a cake and trying to forget about life while everyone is trying to make their screaming children shut up

TG: I’m the fucking dad

TG: Just wondering when things went wrong, because we were all good with the clown idea but everything somehow just went downhill.

CG: DAMN STRIDER.

TG: Yeah.

CG: I MEAN, IT’S NOT OFFICIALLY A DATE OR ANYTHING.

TG: So? Being official doesn’t change the fact that it’s happening, despite whatever condolences you offer me.

CG: IT DOESN’T NECESSARILY MEAN YOU’VE LOST JOHN

TG: Really? Because the last time I checked, John’s heterosexual, a girl is taking interest in him that he thinks loves him, and I’m just his best friend.

TG: She’s a good person too. There’s nothing I can say that would ever deter John from dating this girl, because she likes him, and I’m sure John could grow to like her too

TG: I’m pretty fucking sure I lost, Karkat. Maybe if I hadn’t waited so long, we’d be fine.

TG: But I did, and I don’t have a handy dandy robotic version of me to bail me out.

CG: YOU DON’T NEED SOMEONE TO BALE YOU OUT.

CG: LOOK, SHE’S NOT EVEN HIS GIRLFRIEND

CG: I HATE TO GIVE THE CHEESIEST ADVICE EVER, BUT IF YOU WANT JOHN, JUST MAKE IT CLEAR TO HER THAT HE’S OFF LIMITS.

CG: EVEN IF HE DOESN’T KNOW IT YET.

TG: But he’s not.

CG: BUT YOU PLAN FOR HIM TO BE.

CG: YOU’RE NOT EVEN GOING TO TRY TO STOP HIM?

CG: DO YOU REALLY WANT TO JUST HAND HIM OVER ON A SILVER PLATTER?

CG: JOHN’S YOUR BEST FRIEND, AND YOU’LL ALWAYS REGRET IT IF YOU DON’T TRY NOW.

CG: FUCK BEING SUBTLE, JUST TELL HER THAT HE’S OFF LIMITS.

CG: IN A NICE WAY.

TG: But what happens if John finds out? He’ll be upset.

CG: OKAY, HERE’S THE DEAL.

CG: ASSUMING THAT HE DOES FIND OUT, NOT THAT HE HAS TO, BUT ASSUMING THAT HE DOES.

CG: WOULD YOU RATHER HAVE HIM UPSET, AND WITH YOU, OR HAVE REGRETS FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE?

CG: I’M TELLING YOU THIS FROM EXPERIENCE, DAVE. THIS ISN’T JUST SOME KNOWLEDGE I’VE GLEANED AFTER WATCHING AN IMPRESSIVE NUMBER OF MOVIES THAT DEAL WITH THIS.

CG: IF YOU WANT TO LET HIM GO WITHOUT A FIGHT, FINE.

CG: BUT IF YOU DON’T, I SUGGEST THAT YOU GO AFTER HIM.

TG: Experience?

CG: I’LL TELL YOU THE STORY IF YOU GO AFTER JOHN. DON’T FUCK THIS UP LIKE I DID.

TG: You think I can do it?

CG: PLEASE, I WOULDN’T STAY ABOARD THIS SHIP TRAIN SO LONG IF I DIDN’T THINK IT COULD WORK. I WANT YOU TWO TO BE HAPPY, ALRIGHT?

TG: Thanks, Karkat.

CG: THANK ME AFTER YOU TWO ARE HAPPILY MARRIED. UNTIL THEN, IT’S JUST PART OF MY DUTY AS A FRIEND.

CG: NOW I HATE TO CUT THIS SHORT, SINCE WE WERE RIGHT ON THE EDGE OF GETTING MUSHY THERE

CG: BUT I HAVE SOME OTHER MATTERS TO ATTEND TO.

TG: Other matters, huh?

CG: YES. SO, I HAVE TO GO NOW.

TG: Okay, but one last thing.

TG: Good luck with Jade. She’s been dying to talk to you too, but waiting for you to contact her first.

CG: SHUT UP ASSHOLE.

CG: … AND THANKS. I’LL FUCKING NEED IT, AT THIS RATE.

Carcino Genisis (CG) ceased pestering Turntech Godhead (TG).

As Karkat got away from his talk with Dave, he sighed. Well, now Jade wouldn’t be half asleep on the call, at least. He was still nervous about calling her though. For one reason, he’d shared something exceptionally private, and he didn’t know if it would tip their delicate friendship over some edge. Despite everything, he knew she probably wouldn’t judge him for it. She was at least a little humane, even if their creative banter got a little… intense, at times. Still, he’d waited long enough to have this conversation. It felt like at least a week passed, and he couldn’t avoid it forever. He knew she’d say sorry, and wasn’t sure how to respond, but that was something he could get over too. He just needed to talk to her.

And that was what he did. With a few quick motions, he looked to his laptop screen, unlocked it, and decided he’d use Skype for this encounter. He shot her a quick message, warning her of his incoming call, and she responded immediately, inviting him to talk to her. After a deep breath and a few mouse clicks, along with baited breath and a few seconds of waiting, the two sat, face to face.

Karkat looked at her surroundings in surprise. He was used to seeing Jade in the dark, but the fact that it was light now didn’t deter him. In fact, things almost looked better like this. Seeing in the dark was never a problem for a creature of the night like himself, but he enjoyed the bright flowers he saw stationed around her room, and the sunlight that shone through some off screen window.

“Jade.” He said, and the girl, unsure of what to say, started with a simple greeting.

“Hi, Karkat.” She responded, her usual upbeat tone missing. Of course, he knew why.

“How are you?” She looked to the side.

“Oh, good. I just moved in a little while ago, and thanks to Calliope and Tavros, things went pretty quickly.” Jade commented.

“That’s expected. So, about last week.” Karkat said, and Jade looked at him, attentively. “I know I shared some stuff with you that I wasn’t really ready for you to hear yet.”

“Yeah… I know. I’m sorry, Karkat. I shouldn’t have listened to you, but I did. So, I’m really, really sorry about it, and I hope you can forgive me.” She said, clasping her hands together. Karkat nodded.

“It’s okay.” Karkat said, and his eyebrows lifted in surprise when he realized it was true. “I’m… glad someone else knows.” Karkat said, and edited his words. “Just stop me next time I’m about to reveal my life’s secrets, alright?” Jade looked at him in surprise.

“I will. And, I was wondering.” Jade said, letting out a long sigh. “If you wanted to hear how I was bitten. That was really… brave of you to share all that. I know it wasn’t the way you thought it would be, but I would like to tell you my story, if you want.” Jade said, and Karkat blinked, but a small smile found itself on his face.

“Yeah, sure Jade. I’m all ears.” So, the girl spent the next few minutes recounting her story. Once she reached the end, Karkat asked a question, and she answered.

“I found out his name was Jack, and PM hated him.”

“The one that bit you?”

“Yeah.” She said. “PM once showed me what she looked like when she was fully transformed, after everything that happened to her with those experiments took place. I still don’t know if it would happen to me too. Apparently, the people that did experiments on her did them on Jack too, and he may have bitten them into me. I don’t know.” Jade said, looking down at her friends. “I may be even weirder than a vampire, and after hearing about the girl whose lips turned black, it just makes me worried. What if I’m even more of a monster than I think?” Jade asked.

“You’re not a monster, Jade. Being a werewolf doesn’t make you bad, or a monster.”

“But what if I turn into a winged demonic half human half werewolf thing, because that guy bit me? I really would be like a monster then.” Jade said, hugging herself a little. “Anyway, that’s my story.” Jade said, a small smile on her face. Karkat wanted to reassure her some more that no, she wasn’t a monster because she’s actually the nicest person in the world, but the subject changed, and he could tell she wasn’t up for any discussions yet.

“That’s pretty intense. Still you said it happened late at night, right? Honestly, I’d expect you to be sleeping.” Jade crossed her hands over her chest.

“I’m not always asleep!”

“Could have fooled me. How much would you bet that you wouldn’t be awake if I talked to you at eight on any given day?” Jade’s mouth curled into a challenging smirk.

“I would bet a pretty large sum of money. Eight o clock is easy.” Jade said, her attitude defiant.

“Yeah, but do you always wake up at eight? I know I wake up way before that, because I have school and church. But you? How early do you even wake up?” Jade thought about the question for a second. In truth, he was probably right. He most likely did wake up earlier than her. Instead, she attacked from a different angle.

“Well, at least I do a lot with my day.”

“Hey, I do stuff!”

“Yeah, go to school for seven hours and manage the romantic lives of your two friends. Whoopee.” Jade said, and Karkat’s eyes narrowed.

“Hey, at least I’m actually helping people, unlike your lazy ass. What do you use your day for, O lady of wisdom?”

“Oh, you know. Figuring out how to run a multinational industry, doing dna samples, identifying species, bending physics, gardening-”

“Alright, I’ve heard enough. So, you actually do all of that every day? Where do you garden?” Jade turned the camera away from her.

“Actually, now that you mention it, in here. I used to do it all over my island, but since I moved, I’ve had to start planting things elsewhere.” Jade said, giving him a grin.

“Hm, looks adequate.” Karkat commented, but looked down. In reality, it looked nice, but that was as close to a compliment as Karkat allowed himself to get. She had little pots of flowers that were already in full bloom, along with little baskets of dirt with seeds. They really brightened up the room, and if he was being honest with himself, they matched her personality. She seemed to realize he was complimenting her, in his own angry way, and a smile stretched across her face before she responded.

“Thanks, Karkat. You know, I’ve never seen your room.” She said, the comment sounding offhand. Then she quickly tried to fix it. “Not that I need to. It’s probably just movie posters and a bed or something, right?” She said, and Karkat’s face flushed when he realized she’d described his room perfectly. Jade raised her thin eyebrows as his face colored, and made no attempt to hide her triumphant, if not disbelieving smirk. “No way, seriously?”

“No, I have more in here than that.”

“Yeah, sure. Whatever you say Karkat.”

“Shut up, Harley.” She openly laughed at that, and despite the fact that she just owned him this round, Karkat felt a smile tugging at his face too. He had to hold it together, but eventually, Jade noticed him trying not to smile and her victorious expression changed to something else. It was equally happy, but different somehow. Karkat coughed. They had been staring at each other for a while now, without speaking.

“Uh, anyway.  It’s different seeing you when everything isn’t dark outside.” He commented, and Jade let out a nervous chuckle.

“Really? Well, I hope it’s good different. Living with Uncle Jake has been nice.” Jade said, but put a hand on her chin. “I do wish I could get out more though. I can’t spend all day cooped up in the strider’s basement.”

“Why don’t you just visit us at school or something? The library has books, and it would be nice having someone else around to manage the clichéd love crisis that is John and Dave. Seriously, stuff just got even more complicated, if you can believe it.” Jade raised an eyebrow, impressed.

“Wow, those two really have it bad. Well, don’t leave me hanging.”

“There’s another girl, Damara. She’s nice and John is taking her out for coffee on Saturday, as a ‘thank you’.” Karkat said.

“No.”

“Yes. It gets worse too. She’s in our 7 th period, and John thinks she’s the one that started writing that love note. Crazy, huh?”

“Geez, that’s ridiculous. What’s Dave going to do?” Karkat smirked.

“I told him to fight for his man.” He said, and Jade laughed at that. Funny, it felt good to make her laugh.

“That’s the cheesiest romance advice I’ve ever heard of.” Jade said, shaking her head. “Honestly, those two are too much.”

“What, you don’t like cheesy romance?”

“Hm, maybe for other people. And it’s definitely cute to see Dave and John all gushy over each other. But I don’t need to be all gushy, you know? I’d rather just be real, and not force it.”

“Yeah, me too, to be honest. Still, I can’t wait for them to finally get together.”

“Oh, and speaking of that, I’m pretty sure you lost our bet.”

“But he realized it a while ago. I’d say that counts. He just had a special day set aside for it all, you know?”

“They’re still not together. You didn’t forget our wager, did you shouty?” Karkat’s eyebrows furrowed, and Jade smirked in triumph. He let out a sigh and relented.

“Fine, Harley. You win, Sleeping beauty is gone, forever.” Jade’s grin didn’t leave her face, and she couldn’t help but jump up a little in excitement and give herself a well earend high five. Karkat was just taking L’s today, and that meant Jade was winning their game.

“Yes! Fantastic, this is perfect!” Karkat rolled his eyes.

“Anyway, can you tell me when you’re visiting, instead of making it a surprise?” Karkat asked, and Jade shrugged.

“When do you guys go to the library?”

“5 TH Period, around one o clock. Will you be awake?” He asked her sarcastically.

“Shut up. But I’ll be there tomorrow. Sound good?” She asked, and Karkat’s breath caught in his throat, so he just nodded hastily instead.

“Yeah, sounds good.”

__

AN: So, Jade will be joining us during their lunch period, and drama is afoot!

JAFNF Chapter 77.

(Tuesday, March 30)

When Karkat walked into lunch the next day, he was busily talking to Dave. The boy constantly attempted to figure out how Dave could effectively deal with the conundrum that was Damara, and it captivated the entire span of his attention. So, when another girl appeared in front of him and he walked into her, Karkat realized just how distracted he was, because of one fact he missed. The girl was Jade, and she was standing there, in the flesh, and right in front of him.

“Agh, Jade? Shit, again?” He asked, surprised. She wore the striped tights again, but this time with a black skirt and shirt. The vampire rubbed his head in annoyance, and then he remembered. That’s right, she said she’d visit them today.

“Sorry, but it’s nice to run into you guys!” Jade said, her voice chipper. The three stared at her, and Jade grinned. “Pun intended.” Her words set off two different reactions in the three boys. Karkat and Dave groaned, while John giggled and reached for a high five, causing Jade to slap his hand immediately. 

“Jade, it’s so great that you’re here!” John said, and she grinned.

“Thanks, John. Did Karkat not tell you?”

“Nope, too wrapped up in bullshit. And it didn’t help that you decided to collide foreheads for the 50 th time.” Karkat said, and Jade nodded in understanding, then gave Dave a quick glance. He caught it, and she looked away.

“Well, now that we know Jade’s here, can we go home?” Dave asked, though he wasn’t serious, and Jade rolled her eyes.

“I can always count on you two for a warm welcome.” Jade deadpanned. “Anyway, I just came to hang out. Since I’ve started seeing you guys in person, living alone isn’t as manageable anymore.” Jade said, her words ending with a sigh.

“Well, don’t worry about that, Jade. We’re here for you. I get it.” Dave said, and Jade smiled at that.

“Thanks, Dave.”

“Oh, Equius and Nepeta are here too. We can go say hi, if you want?” John spoke up, and Jade grinned.

“Sure! So, what exactly do you guys do during your lunch period?” She asked, following them as they started to head towards the cafeteria.

“Whatever the fuck we want, but most people eat, talk and do homework.” Karkat said. As he pushed open the door, the sheer number of students surprised Jade. She followed them to their table, where she correctly identified Equius and Nepeta.

“Hey guys!” John announced, causing the two to look up at them.

“Oh, greetings everyone. Jade, what a surprise.” He said, and Nepeta bounced out of her seat to greet Jade with a hug.

“Jade! What are you doing here?” She cried, and Karkat crossed his arms.

“Nice to see you too.” He mumbled, but Nepeta heard him.

“Oh, Karkitty, I’m sorry! It was just such a wonderfurl surpurrise to see Jade! But it’s nice to see you too.” She said, immediately grabbing the boy into a hug. A smile found itself on Karkat’s face.

“Yeah, sorry for being salty.” He said, apologizing on instinct. Jade blinked at the scenario in surprise. Karkat was being so nice to Nepeta. Not like doing that was hard, she had a fun, bubbly personality that practically demanded everyone’s kindness. Still, Karkat was never one to be overly kind to anyone, but the fact that he accepted her hug and even apologized on instinct surprised Jade.

“Hey, Equius. Nice to see you. How is Jadebot coming?” She asked, and a grin set itself on the sweaty boy’s face. Most of his friends weren’t experienced with that expression, at least on Equius.

“Fantastic! I’m enjoying it a lot.” He said honestly, and Jade smiled in response.

“That’s good to hear.” She said, and the two started to delve into a conversation on the topic, but Nepeta spoke up.

“Jade, how are Tavros and Calliope? I haven’t seen them in a while.” She said, and everyone realized she was right, for the most part. Really, the only one of their friend group that actively kept up with the two was Jade, a fact that upset them all when they thought about it.  

“Tavros is good, he says he misses roleplay. And Callie is doing well too.” She informed, and Jade grinned. “Actually, Calliope’s like his magic mentor, or something. Tavros has been getting really good!” The girl added, and a smile fell upon Nepeta’s face.

“That’s good to hear. Do you think they’d mind if I had their pesterchums?”

“Well, I don’t know Tavros’, but I have Calliope’s.” Jade said, and soon afterwards, they exchanged their respective usernames.

“So, what’s the progress like on Jadebot and Davebot?” John asked, his voice sounding a little anxious. Dave involved himself in the conversation too. He’d see the sweaty, and sometimes motor oil covered boy from time to time, but he usually stayed in Dirk’s floor of their house. John, however, never really saw Equius, except for at school.

“I would say we’re progressing fairly quickly. Davebot is almost complete, but Jadebot is taking some more time, unfortunately.”

“Are there any complications?”

“So far, no.   We still plan to do a lot of work, but it’s an honor to work with someone as astute as your brother, Dave.” Equius said.

“Davebot won’t remember anything from his previous objectives, will he?” John asked, and Equius’ lips curled into a frown.

“I don’t believe he will. We had to remove and change a good chunk of the old programming, so I doubt it. Sorry, John.” John let out a sigh.

“It’s okay. I just never figured out what he was trying to protect me from.” John said, looking away. He looked up suddenly though, hoping he hadn’t worried his friends. “Anyway, will they both look like Dave and Jade?”

“Yes, we’ve decided to keep Davebot orange, but we have plans to make Jadebot green.”

“That’s her favorite color!” Dave broke in with a grin, and Equius smiled.

“Precisely.” While the two separate groups had their conversations, Karkat stood a little away from it all. John noticed it, and eventually, he broke away from Equius. He’d heard what he needed to about Davebot anyway.

“Hey, you okay Karkat?” John asked, looking at his friend. Karkat didn’t respond angrily or anything, but he just waved it off.

“I’m fine.”

“Then, why aren’t you talking to Jade over there? Remember what you promised you’d do?” John asked, and Karkat looked at him grouchily. “I know you two already made up. You have no excuses now. Just hurry up and do it!”

“Hey, I didn’t forget. Why do you think I’m not talking to her now? I need to figure out what to say!”

“Just say you’ve liked her for a long time and want to go out with her. It’s not that hard!” John said, and Karkat glared at him. Maybe he’d chosen his words poorly.

“What? Of course it’s that hard!”

“No it’s not, just do it.”

“You don’t get it, John.”

“Yes, I do! Just go do it.”

“Not in front of everyone!” Karkat said, glancing at Nepeta. “I would really prefer to just wait, okay?”

“Fine, do it after lunch. I’ll keep everyone busy, just promise me you’ll do it.” Anticipation burst in Karkat’s chest, and a blush hit his cheeks, but he nodded.

“Yeah. I mean yes, I’ll do it Egbert.” John gave him a wide smile, and looked at him.

“You won’t regret it!”

__

As the lunch period drew to a close, Karkat looked nervous. He didn’t know how John was going to execute his plan, but he trusted him enough to do it.

“So, what rooms are everyone going to next?”

“405.” Dave answered immediately.

“Oh, 360 for me, and 302 for Nepeta.” Equius said.

“I’m in 303. Well, it looks like we’re all going in the same direction, right?” John asked, and Karkat spoke up.

“Actually no, Egbert, I’m going to room 101.” Karkat spoke up. “Why do you ask?”  He added, since the blue eyed boy already knew his next class, and John fought off a grin.

“Well, since you’re going towards the exit, could you walk Jade out?” John said. “Because she doesn’t have a next class.”

“I don’t mind leaving early-” Dave started, but John’s eyes widened and he shook his head, then pointed towards Karkat and Jade as discretely as possible. “I mean… yeah, good idea Egbert.” Dave said. Karkat crossed his arms.

“I could bear it. So long as she’s on the other side of the hall.” Karkat said, and Jade sighed.

“Well, as long as he’s going that way, I don’t really have a choice, do I?” Jade asked, and Karkat gave her a deadpan glance. “Right. Well, I guess that’s settled.” Jade said, and John nodded enthusiastically. Equius had to stand up and get some more milk. Nepeta quickly tagged along with her best friend, and Karkat ended up joining as well. The two ended up locked in conversation, leaving the remainder of the table there to talk. Jade looked down at John and Dave from her standing, yet comfortable position.

“I’m really glad that you visited us today, Jade. I just wish you told Dave and I, so we wouldn’t have to be so surprised.” John said, and Jade grinned.

“Sure, you guys are the best friends ever. I only wish Rose was here with us. I wish Tavros and Calliope could come see everyone here on a daily basis too, you know?” Jade asked, and John nodded solemnly.

“Yeah. I mean, I still talk with Rose on pester chum as often as I used to, but I still feel like we’re not as close anymore. Maybe because the rest of you guys are here, and she’s not, but it would be nice if she was here with us. When was the last time the four of us had a group chat on pester chum?” John asked, and Dave shook his head.

“It’s been a while.” Dave agreed. “But I remember the times when we’d all just talk on pesterchum.” John raised an eyebrow.

“Really? What do you mean?” John asked, and Jade broke in.

“You mean like the days when somehow, despite all of our crazy time zones, we could all talk? And we’d talk about everything too. Rose would always analyze us.” Jade said with a sigh, and Dave picked it up.

“Yeah, and John would always tell us the worst jokes ever, while you’d go on and on about physics no one understood, right Jade?” Dave said, and Jade shoved him.

“Hey, it’s not my fault, you guys just don’t understand it like me.” John spoke from there.

“Oh, let’s not forget the pages of your long metaphors and raps you’d send us, Dave. I swear, you could find more words and ways to describe a penis than Shakespeare sometimes.” John said, and Jade barked out a little laugh. Dave tried not to look too offended. “I miss it, a lot.” John added, and looked down at his hands. “When did our lives get so complicated? A year ago, I never thought I’d be friends with werewolves and vampires, while knowing how to use a silver weapon. I mean, what in the world happened?” John asked them, and they had no viable response.

“Me too.” Jade said, thinking about the recent events.

“I don’t know. I guess it started when I was in your class, remember?” Dave asked, and John let out a small smile at that.

“Yeah, I was so surprised. So of course, I told Jade about it first, but Roxy started stalking me and stuff.” John said, a wistful sigh leaving his mouth. “It’s not like I don’t like what happened to us. Heck, I’ve never been happier. I’m just feeling nostalgic, you know? Like some days, I wish I could see what things were like when life was simpler, but I wouldn’t give my life up now for the world.” John said, and Jade smirked.

“So, you’re saying you wish you could turn back time, to the good old days?” Jade asked, and John gave her a look, but Dave smirked.

“When our mama sang us to sleep?” Dave asked, and John rolled his eyes.

“But now we’re stressed out. Are you two happy?”  Jade giggled her response.

“No, we’re stressed out!”

“Jade, that song doesn’t apply to any of us. Our moms didn’t sing us to sleep. At least, not as far as we know. And I’m not stressed out, I’m just nostalgic, and I wish I could see Rose more often.” John snapped back, and Dave rolled his eyes.

“Oh lighten up Egbert, it’s a pretty good song.”

“Don’t you listen to rap?” John questioned, and Dave shrugged.

“Eh, I’m broad with my music tastes.”

“Do you like country?” Jade asked, immediately spawning a gigantic groan from Dave. She and John shared a look of mischievousness. They expected this rant to come eventually.

“Geez Harley, no I don’t fucking like country. Not every person that lives in Texas likes country. I don’t swing a lasso and ride a bull to my farmhouse. I live in a city. I don’t even have a Texan accent- that whole thing is way over exaggerated anyway! Sure, a person may say ‘yall’ now and then, but that doesn’t mean we’re all lasso swinging, bull riding people that swear all the time with cowboy hats. Do I look like a cowboy to you? I’m not a fucking cowboy. I’m just a normal guy, with normal music tastes, that just happens to be from Texas. Is that so wrong?” Jade held back her giggles, and John honestly tried, but both broke out into laughter by the end of it.

“Dave, calm down, it was just a question!” John said, giggling. Dave felt the heat rush to his cheeks. Okay, maybe he’d channeled a little too much inner Karkat there, but still.

“I was just joking Dave, I know you don’t like country.” Jade said, and smiled. “But it was nice hearing you pull a Karkat for once. You can’t just be cool all the time.” She said, and Dave scoffed.

“Please, I can be cool all the time. Fuck, I am cool all the time. I’m as cool as-”

“Yes Dave, you’re cool!” John interrupted, and Dave blinked, then smirked.

“See, this guy gets it. That’s why you’re my best friend, Egdork.” Dave said, propping an arm around the boy. John rolled his eyes, and Jade giggled at the two. They were ridiculously cute together. Eventually, Karkat, Equius and Nepeta came back, and they all sat around a table in a group and talked, until the class period ended. Dave offered Karkat one last thumb up, and John gave Karkat a wink of support. Karkat took a deep breath, and as John and the rest of his friends started to walk away, he turned to Jade.

“Ready to go, Slee- I mean, princess?” He asked, and Karkat cringed as the word came from his mouth, but Jade’s cheeks darkened.

“Princess?” She asked, looking down. Karkat tried to play off the awkwardness he’d just unleashed upon both of them.

“Uh, yeah! I was thinking of something to replace the other term. Maybe I’ll try something else though.” Karkat said, and Jade looked away.

“Uh, I mean. I get it, sleeping beauty, princess. Sorry, I just thought something else.” She said, and Karkat looked at her seriously, his heart hammering in his chest.

“What? I mean, what did you think?”

“It was stupid. Let’s just go, alright?” She said, and Karkat took a deep breath. Okay, he’d do it. Right when they reached the doors to exit the school, he would do it. They walked, Karkat’s backpack on his back, and took those steps towards the door.

\--

When Jake heard the bell ring, he shot upwards. He looked at the time, and begged the bell to be early, or something. But no, the bell wasn’t early. And that meant he’d worked though both his planning and lunch period hours. That also meant he had a class coming, and none of the tests he needed to administer to 6 th period printed. So, the man did what any guy would do in his situation- he ran. He could probably make the copies, but he had to cut into the class period to do it. There was no way he could print 29 copies of a three- no, four page test in five minutes.

When he made it to the copying room, he set it up, and started printing. Then, the biology teacher ran back to his classroom, and wrote out instructions for his class on the board- study until he got back. Satisfied, he started his run back to the copy room once again, but on his way, he swore he saw a girl that looked just like Jade, from the back. She seemed to be walking with Karkat. The teacher had to go see if it was really his niece at the school. He doubted it, but he just wanted to check. While curiosity usually killed the cat, in this case, the cat was Karkat- and when Jake’s curiosity led him to his niece, he was dead. So, as calmly as possible, he walked up to the two. He didn’t know what Karkat was doing out of class with his niece, but he intended to stop it. Even if they were just hanging out, Karkat needed to be in his sixth period.

“Oh, Jade, what a surprise!” Jake said, appearing from behind her, causing the girl to turn immediately.

“Uncle Jake, hi!” She said, and Karkat’s expression immediately switched back to his generally impassive one.

“Hi, Mr. English.”

“Hello, Jade. What are you two doing here?” Jake asked, his voice demonstrating a clear undertone of accusation.

“Oh, I was hanging out with John, Dave, Karkat, Nepeta and Equius during lunch, and since Karkat’s class is this way, he was walking me out.” She said, and Karkat nodded.

“Yep, pretty much.” He said. “But I was planning on heading to class eventually.” Karkat said. Jade looked at him in shock.

“Wait, am I making you late, Karkat?”

“No, my room is close. Walking you out wouldn’t have taken too long, trust me.” He said, looking pointedly at Jake. Jake’s eyes narrowed.

“Well, then you should get to class now, Karkat, the bell’s going to ring any minute now.” He said, then looked up in surprise. “Oh no, the bell’s going to ring any minute now! I’ll see you at home Jade, and I’ll see you in biology, Karkat.” He said, starting to rush off. Jade giggled and Karkat rolled his eyes, but offered Jade a wave.

“I do have to get to class, I’ll see you later, Harley.” Karkat said, and Jade laughed as she opened the doors to leave the school.

“Yeah, this was fun shouty. I’ll visit again sometime soon.” She said, and as the doors closed, Karkat’s calm demeanor fell. He’d just missed his opportunity, and now he would have to explain this bullshit to John and Dave. With an irritated huff, he walked into his class.

\--

AN: So, I’m bent on incorporating as many head canons and ideas into this fic that just keeps snowballing the more I write it. Huge, huge thanks to saltymastermemester- I couldn’t have done it without you. Seriously. If you’re still reading this, after what I did to your fic *though I doubt this is what you wanted* thank you for everything!  Also Karkat got c***blocked.

JAFNF Chapter 78

(Tuesday, March 30)

After leaving his horrific 6 th period, Dave rushed over to Biology, and managed to arrive before John. Unfortunately, both John and Damara walked in together, but Dave walked up to them with an easygoing smirk on his face.

“Hey, Egbert.” Dave said, and John brightened.

“Hi, Dave! What’s up?” He asked, and Dave started casually moving between John and Damara, so he could loop an arm around John’s neck. Damara blinked in surprise, and John offered them both a shy grin.

“Oh you know, just glad as ever to see my best friend.” He said, and Damara spoke up from behind the two.

“Hi, Dave!” She said brightly, and Dave turned towards her.

“Hello. You must be Damara, right?”

“That’s me.” She said, then looked away. “Anyway, I have to go sit down. See you later, John!” She said, and walked off to her seat. John waved goodbye to her, then looked at Dave, who still had his arm around him.

“So, are you planning on going to our seats any time soon, Dave?” John asked, and Dave changed arm positions, and put his arm out, pretending to be over gentlemanly.

“Shall we, Moiseur Egbert?” Dave asked, pulling out a horrible French accent. John played along and grabbed his arm.

“We shall.” He said, his voice raising drastically in pitch. After a second or two of walking, they reached their seats, and Karkat was there too. As John got out what he needed for class, Dave whispered quickly to Karkat.

“How was that?” He asked, and Karkat moved his hand from side to side.

“Pretty good. Just be aggressive, not mean, okay?” He said, and Dave nodded.

“Right, right. Don’t worry, I have more where that came from.” He said, his face falling into his ever present smirk.  By the time class ended, the blonde stood up and waited for John. Karkat watched the interaction as inconspicuously as he could, but Mr. English asked him to wait up at his desk, after everyone ran out. He saw Dave put his arms around John once again, and Damara rushed out to catch the bus, but not before saying goodbye to both Dave and John. He saw Dave let go of John once she left, and decided he was doing fine.

“Yes, Mr. English? Am I missing an assignment?” He asked, and Jake shook his head.

“No, You’re not. I just had a question about Jade.” Karkat had to quickly channel the incoming blood away from his face and ears.

“Uh, yeah?”

“I was wondering- how often does she visit the school?”

“Today was the second- no, third time she came. She visited the first time for our tactical meeting back in January, Then she came once to borrow the library, and she came today to see us.” Karkat said, and Jake nodded.

“Hm, alright. She never told me, but thanks for letting me know.” Jake said, looking up. “You’re free to go, I was just curious.” He added, and Karkat nodded.

“Okay. Well, see you tomorrow, and thank you, Mr. English.” Jake’s eyebrows went up in surprise at that.

“For what?”

“Oh, just teaching us, and dealing with all of this vampire werewolf bull- I mean, stuff.” He said, and Jake smiled- it was nice to be appreciated.

“You’re welcome. But, it’s not a job- I just like to make the world a better place. It’s nice to see others that feel the same.” He said, and the shorter boy left the room. With a tired sigh, Jake picked up his cellphone. He still had work to do, but he decided to call Dirk first. After a few minutes of ringing, he picked up.

“Hey, what’s up babe?” Dirk asked, and Jake smiled.

“Oh, just calling. And, I had a question.” Jake added, and listened on the other line.

“Yes, I’ll marry you. But in all seriousness, what do you need?” Dirk asked, and Jake’s smile turned into a grin at the words, and his shoulders relaxed. Talking to his boyfriend was really just what he needed after a day of work.

\-----

Arsenic Catnip (AC) began pestering audios Toreador (AT).

AC:      :33 < *ac crouches in the bushes, waiting for her next target.*

AC:      :33 < *After waiting for a little while, she spots that her purrey is near and strikes*

AC:      :33 < *ac pounces out of the bushes, landing on her target with a gl33ful hug!*

AC:      :33 < Hello, Tavros!

AT:  nEPETA?

AC:      :33 < it’s me!

AT: oH, HI!

AT: uHH, WAIT, NO.

AT: *i TURN, COMPLETELY, UH, SURPRISED BY THE FRIENDLY ATTACK,

AT: aND  i AM VERY GLAD TO SEE THAT IT’S LADY NEPETA,*

AC:      :33 < I’m glad to s33 you too, Tavros!

AT: i, UH, HOPE THIS ISN’T PHRASED BADLY OR ANYTHING,

AT: bUT, UH, HOW DID YOU GET MY PESTER CHUM?

AC:      :33 < Jade!

AC:      :33 < She came to our school today, and gave it to me!

AC:      :33 < Is that okay?

AT: yES! THAT’S TOTALLY FINE, i WAS JUST,, UH,, WONDERING.

AT: iN FACT, i SHOULD TELL HER THANK YOU, IT IS REALLY NICE TO, UH, ROLEPLAY WITH YOU AGAIN.

AC:      :33 < It’s nice to roleplay with you again too, Tavros!

AT: sO, ASIDE FROM ROLEPLAY

AT: wHAT have you been up to,

AC:      :33 < I have lots of new ships!

AT: uH, DID YOU MEAN LIKE, THE BOATS OR,, SOMETHING ELSE?

AC:      :33 < Like relationships! I have found a lot of new pawsibilities opening up.

AT: oH, UH YES, THANT MAKES, MORE, UH, SENSE.

AT: wHAT KIND OF POSSIBILITIES,

AT: hAVE , UH, OPENED UP?

AC:      :33 < Well, besides the ones that are already happening, there’s Dave and John. Ooh, but there’s also Damara and John. You don’t know her, right?

AT: uH, I DON’T THINK SO.

AC:      :33 < She’s a girl that goes to our school

AC:      :33 < She’s also Sollux’s girlfriend’s twin sister

AT: oH, UH, WOW, THAT IS A COINCIDENCE ALRIGHT

AC:      :33 < I know, right!

AC:      :33 < Maybe I can even ship her with Equius!

AC:      :33 < And there’s also Karkitty.

AT: oH, KARKAT? WITH WHO?

AC:      :33 < Me, I hope.

AT: oH, UH, WOW. GOOD LUCK.

AC:      :33 < Thanks!

AC:      :33 < I sure n33d it.

AC:      :33 < What about you?

AT: uH, WELL, I’VE NEVER BEEN GOOD WITH THIS, UH, WHOLE, SHIPPING THING.

AC:      :33 < So, you n33d someone to be shipped with?

AT: nO, I MEAN, I ALREADY

AT: sORT OF,

AT: uHH, LIKE SOMEONE,

AT: aT the moment,,

AC:      :33 < Really?

AC:      :33 < Oh, who?

AC:      :33 < Actually wait, can I guess?

AT: i, UH, GUESS,

AT: iF, YOU, UH, WANT TO.

AC:      :33 < Is it… a boy or a girl

AT: uH, A GIRL.

AT: sHE'S VERY, NICE

AC:      :33 < Is it… Jade??

AT: hOW, DID YOU GET THAT,

AT: sO QUICKLY?

AC:      :33 < Aww! Well, she’s the nicest girl I know

AC:      :33 < And you’re probably the nicest boy I know!

AT: uH, THANK YOU, NEPETA.

AT: yOU  ARE ALSO VERY NICE,

AC:      :33 < T33 h33, thank you Tavros!

AC:      :33 < But what do you plan to do about Jade?

AT: i DON’T KNOW IF, UH, I WOULD BE BRAVE ENOUGH TO TELL HER

AT: pLUS, I KEEP MESSING UP WHEN I’M AROUND HER

AT: aND WHENEVER WE HANG OUT, SHE AND CALLIOPE ALWAYS PULL ME AWAY TO DO

AT: lIKE, DRESS UP AND STUFF

AT: nOT, THAT I MIND THAT TOO MUCH

AT: iT'S JUST CLEAR SHE, UH, REALLY SEES ME AS A FRIEND

AT: sHE'S USUALLY MORE INTERESTED IN CALLIOPE THAN ME, UH, ANYWAY

AC:      :33 < Oh no!

AC:      :33 < I’m sorry Tavros

AC:      :33 < But I get how you f33l

AC:      :33 < Karkat never notices me either.

AT: wHAT,

AT: wHY, NOT?

AC:      :33 < I don’t know!

AC:      :33 < I’ve tried everything!

AC:      :33 < Equius says I should stop chasing him

AC:      :33 < But I don’t want to, I like him!

AC:      :33 < He’s mean to everyone

AC:      :33 < But he’s always nice to me.

AT: wELL, AT LEAST YOU TRY TO DO STUFF

AT: i JUST, MESS UP, OR SOUND WEIRD

AT: wHEN I TRY TO TALK TO JADE

AT: dOES, UH, eQUIUS GIVE ADVICE ON THIS?

AC:      :33 <Sometimes

AC:      :33 < But he’s always just telling me to stop chasing Karkat, not giving me advice on how to get him to like me

AC:      :33 < I don’t think he likes Kar-cat very much

AT: mAYBE, I SHOULD, UH, ASK HIM?

AC:      :33 < Maybe he can help! You should ask right now, I think he’s on!

AT: oH, BUT, I UH, DON’T HAVE HIS HANDLE

AC:      :33 < It’s centaurs Testicle.

AT: tHAT'S UH, INTERESTING

AC:      :33 < He made it when he was twelve with a random name generator, I don’t think he knew how cr33py it was.

AC:      :33 < But go talk to him, maybe he can help you!

AC:      :33 < He sort of knows Jade already

AT: gOOD, UH, IDEA!

AT: oKAY, I, UH, WILL DO IT!

AC:      :33 < Okay, good luck Tavros!

AT: i’LL, TELL YOU HOW IT GOES,

AT: bYE,

AC:      :33 < Bye Tavros!!

audios Toreador (AT) ceased pestering Arsenic Catnip (AC).

Tavros took a deep breath. He enjoyed talking to Nepeta, and was glad she spoke with him again. Honestly, he missed her, but hopefully they could hang out more now that Tavros was learning more magic, and Nepeta had his pesterchum. That led him to Equius. Tavros hoped he had good advice for him, because he didn’t know what to do about the situation. Without much more thought, he typed in Equius’ handle.

Audios Toreador (AT) began pestering  centaurs Testicle (CT).

AT: uHH, HELLO,

AT: iS THIS EQUIUS?

CT:       D----> Hello. I do not believe we have spoken before.

CT:       D----> Therefore, it is a pleasure to meet you, despite the fact that I lack knowledge regarding your basic identity.

AT: oH, UH, IT’S NICE TO MEET YOU TOO

AT: bUT I’M TAVROS.

AT: i JUST GOT YOUR HANDLE FROM NEPETA

CT:       D----> I see.

CT:       D----> Well, are there any e%eptional circumstances involving your contact with me?

AT: uH, I DON’T KNOW ABOUT EXCEPTIONAL

AT: bUT, I WAS HOPING I COULD GET SOME ADVICE.

AT: iF YOU DON’T MIND, THAT IS

CT:       D----> Nepeta sent you, correct?

AT: uH, YES

CT:       D----> I see, then I presume the topic is something relationship wise, correct?

AT: yES,

CT:       D----> Well, I should warn you.

CT:       D----> I’m not necessarily adept in dealing with matters of the heart.

CT:       D----> But I do promise the utmost confidentiality, in regards to your issues. 

AT: tHAT'S REALLY GREAT, UH, THANKS EQUIUS.

CT:       D----> What seems to be the issue?

AT: wELL, UH, THERE’S THIS GIRL I LIKE

AT: bUT  I ALWAYS MESS UP WHEN I, TRY TO TALK TO HER,

AT: aND SHE VIEWS ME AS A FRIEND AT BEST, BUT DOESN’T REALLY NOTICE ME, OR, ANYTHING.

AT: aND, I DON’T THINK I’M CONFIDENT ENOUGH TO JUST, UH, GO, ASK HER ON A DATE, OR ANYTHING.

CT:       D----> Well, may I ask who she is?

AT: iT'S, UH, JADE HARLEY.

CT:       D----> Well, I STRONGLY suggest that you pursue this.

CT:       D----> She is a kind girl, and I believe you two have the potential to be happy together.

CT:       D----> Now, why exactly do you ‘mess up’ when you try to talk to her?

AT: i, UH, JUST GET NERVOUS, AND

AT: sTOP ACTING COOL OR NORMAL

AT: aND I USUALLY END UP LETTING HER OR CALLIOPE COPY CLOTHING FROM STORES, OR PLAYING DRESS UP, BECAUSE I DON’T WANT TO SAY NO, TO HER.

CT:       D----> If you get nervous around her, perhaps having another person there for support will benefit you.

CT:       D----> As for your issue with confidence, I apologize, but if you can’t tell her how you feel, there’s a very slim chance that you’ll be able to attract her.

CT:       D----> I suggest that you, perhaps, just attempt to act confident around her, even if you’re not.

CT:       D----> I apologize, but that’s all the advice I can really offer you.

AT: nO, DON’T APOLOGIZE

AT: tHANK YOU, IT’S GOOD.

AT: i'LL, UH, WORK ON IT.

CT:       D---->I’m happy to be of service.

AT: sORRY TO LEAVE, BUT I HAVE TO REPORT BACK TO NEPETA, SO

CT:       D----> It’s quite alright, Good luck Tavros.

Audios Toreador (AT) ceased pestering  centaurs Testicle (CT).

audios Toreador (AT) began pestering Arsenic Catnip (AC).

AC:      :33 < How did it go?

AT: hE, UH, GAVE ME SOME GOOD ADVICE

AT: lIKE, i  SHOULD SORT OF PRETEND TO BE CONFIDENT EVEN IF I DON’T FEEL THAT WAY, AND MAYBE HAVE A FRIEND AROUND FOR MORAL SUPPORT?

AT: bUT, I DON’T KNOW HOW I COULD HAVE A FRIEND AROUND

AT: iF, I WAS ON A DATE, OR SOMETHING.

AC:      :33 < Wait, I’ve got it!

AC:      :33 < What about, like, a double date?

AC:      :33 < With me and Karkitty, then you and Jade!

AT: tHAT,,, COULD ACTUALLY WORK

AT: tHAT'S A GREAT IDEA

AT: aND, MAYBE IT COULD HELP YOU WITH KARKAT TOO

AT: tHAT, SOUNDS GOOD

AC:      :33 < Yay, then it’s settled, we’ll do it! I hope Karkitty says yes!

AT: mE  TOO,

AC:      :33 < Okay, I think we have to work out the details later.

AC:      :33 < I have homework, unfurtunateluy.

AT: tHAT'S, OKAY,, CALLIOPE WANTED TO DO SOME PRACTICE, UH, ANYWAY

AT: bUT WE CAN WORK OUT THE DETAILS SOON.

AC:      :33 < Okay! S33 you later, tavros!

AT: bYE, NEPETA,

audios Toreador (AT) ceased pestering Arsenic Catnip (AC).

JAFNF Chapter 79

(Wednesday, March 31)

That Wednesday, Jade was inside the Strider’s household, and Dirk walked down the stairs to see her. He knocked on the door, and after writing a few numbers down, she walked over to the door and opened it up. When she saw it was Dirk, she grinned and offered him a hug as a greeting.

“Hi Dirk!” She said as she latched onto him. Dirk was surprised for a second before hugging back, a smile on his face.

“Hey Jade, how’s it going?” He asked, and when she grinned at him, her glasses caught a light in the room.

“Things are going great!” She said, and Dirk realized she kind of looked like a mad scientist, but a cute, nice one. “I just wish I had more dna samples from other supernaturals to compare this one with.” She motioned to her little laboratory. Dirk wanted to say something, but he heard a knock on the door- not from outside, but the one leading to Dirk’s level of the house. No one was supposed to be here right now, besides them.

“Hold on, let me see who that is.” Dirk said, his voice in a low whisper. The man flash stepped up the stairs, and opened the door. What he found on the other side was a boy, with a mowhawk- Tavros. He held a large, flat box, and had his hand behind his head.

“Uh-”

“What are you doing in my house?” He asked, and Tavros blinked.

“Uh, well, Calliope teleported me in here to give this to Jade.”  He said, his voice shaking a little. “Sorry, maybe I should have gone outside, but she kind of just dropped me off in here, and I guess you guys were downstairs- so, uh- this is for her.” He said, and Dirk looked down at him, unimpressed.

“What is it?”

“Dna samples from a variety of supernaturals, including a cherub, fairy and troll.” Dirk looked at him, surprised and accusingly.

“The hell? She just said she wanted that. How did you get these?”

“Well, we collected a bunch of samples earlier, when we heard about what she was doing with Latula, and, I guess we just delivered them here now. We would have put them where she lives, but I think they need to be stored a certain way and stuff, so- yeah.” He said, and Jade looked up from the bottom of a stairway.

“Dirk, who’s at the door?” She asked, and Dirk sighed.

“Tavros brought you some DNA samples.” Dirk called, and Jade bound up the stairs with surprise.

“Really? How did you know, I literally just said I wanted these!  Thank you!” She said, and after making sure the item would be secure, she gave him a hug. Tavros’ face flushed, and he tried to stutter out something cool.

“Uh- yeah. You know me and Calliope- fairy god-Tavros is at your service.” He said, and Jade broke away with a giggle.

“Thanks Tavros, and tell Calliope I say thank you to her too.” Jade added, and Tavros nodded dutifully.

“I-I will!” He said, and looked up at Dirk cautiously. He didn’t look happy at all.

“Okay, I’m sorry to cut this short, but I gotta go get these analyzed!” She said, and Tavros nodded.

“Right, enjoy that. I’ll see you later then.” Tavros said, and Jade grinned gleefully.

“See you!” She added, completely oblivious of Dirk. He crossed his arms- he didn’t like this kid, but it wasn’t like he could say anything now. “Actually, wait. Before you go, could you transport this to Mr. English’s house? I don’t have a transportalizer over here, and I don’t know what will happen to the samples if I try to take them on a scooter.”

“S-Sure! No problem!”He said, and offered her an unsure smile. “They’ll be in your room, okay?” Jade nodded happily.

“Thanks so much, Tavros. I really appreciate it.”

“Anytime J-Jade!” He said, then closed his eyes and began the process of teleporting away. As he removed himself from the premises, samples in hand, he let out a sigh and appeared in Jade’s room. As he put the items down, he sighed. She still had a ton of seeds that were unsprouted, and Tavros was curious. One pot seemed to lack a germinated seed, and Tavros found a worm inching around atop it. “Hi!” He said, not expecting an answer. So, when he got one, he was surprised, but quickly felt accomplished. Calliope hadn’t taught him that. He was more than ready to return home and tell her about it, and it even washed away the discouragement he’d felt since leaving the Strider household.

In truth, the plan was to ask Jade about their double date thing while she was over there, but Dirk’s presence freaked him out. He didn’t know why the man didn’t like him, but he couldn’t change it either. No, all he could do was wait for a better opportunity, and ask then. With a sigh, he teleported out of the room, and sat alone on his own for a while. He needed to think anyway.

\---

“What?!” John’s voice cried, incredulous. He didn’t even notice Dolorosa’s slight glare, he was so surprised.

“It wasn’t my fucking fault, he just walked in there!” Karkat said, and Dave shook his head.

“I can’t believe it. Shouldn’t he have been in his classroom anyway?” Dave asked, and Karkat shrugged.

“I don’t know. But yeah, I was stopped just like that.”

“Don’t worry Karkat, You’ll have another chance soon!” John said, but Karkat shook his head.

“She’s going insane over analyzing something Tavros gave her. She probably won’t be seeing us at all this week. The only person that’ll get to see us is probably you, Dave, and that if she’s not using her lab back on her island.” Karkat said, looking away. “I don’t get why it happened. Maybe I should just stop trying.” He said, and John put a hand on his shoulder.

“No way, Karkat! Just because you missed one opportunity doesn’t mean you won’t find another one.  So what- you can’t ask for another week or two. I’m sure the right situation will come up eventually, you just have to wait for it. Okay?” John said, and Karkat sighed.

“I don’t know, John. I mean, she may not even say yes!”

“Karkat. You can’t just give her away on a silver platter, just because you missed one opportunity. So you miss it once- whatever? If you want to date her, you’ve got to do this. Okay?” Dave said, giving Karkat a meaningful look through his sunglasses. Karkat looked away- he had to practice what he preached.

“You guys are right.” Karkat said, standing. So what if I missed it once, I can ask some other time.”

“Duh.” John said, and Karkat rolled his eyes.

“Well, I hope I get another opportunity soon.” Karkat said, and John grinned.

“You will! Trust me.” John said. “I can’t wait for you two to get together.” John said, and Dave smirked.

“Yep, Jade’s going to be one happy lady.” Dave said, and Karkat snorted.

“She’s going to be something. I bet the first thing she’ll do after I ask is insult me.”

“You know, you’re literally the only person she’s mean to, Karkat.” John said, and grinned. “I don’t know if that’s actually good or not, but good luck either way.”

“Thanks, I need it. Seriously, he just showed up out of nowhere. I mean, how do you do that?” Karkat asked, and Dave snorted.

“Maybe my brother’s been rubbing off on him. He flash steps. Just consider what it would be like having a brother that enjoys scaring you shitless.” Dave said. “That can literally appear in a room whenever.”

“Or, imagine a dad that would communicate through notes on cakes. For a while, my dad didn’t like talking to me, so he’d bake me cakes and leave them outside my door, with messages either iced in them or little notes beside them.” John said, thinking back. “They’d be there whenever he was home- and you guys wonder why I don’t like cake. Have you ever had to walk around in fear that you’d get icing in your socks, or between your toes? It’s not fun.” John said, and Karkat winced.

“Geez, your dad was weird. But Dave, let’s be honest- you’d do the same thing to your brother too if you could.” Karkat said, and Dave put a hand on his chin in thought.

“Yeah, maybe. Still, it was a dick move.” He added sullenly, but a smile appeared on his face. “He totally loves Jade though. He never does that shit to her, but he tried once and she almost scratched him. It was priceless.” Dave said with a grin. John’s eyes widened.

“That’s cool.” He said, and Dave grinned.

“Fuck yeah it is. Jade is the coolest.” Dave said, but before they could comment more, the bell rang. Dave let out a long sigh. “Well, that’s our cue.” Dave added, and Karkat nodded while he put his backpack on, and John was already prepared to go. They walked out of the library and moved in opposite directions, and John moved to drop off Dave.

When the pair moved in front of Dave’s classroom, John gave him his usual goodbye hug.

“See you later, Dave!” John said, and Dave smirked, enjoying the hug.

“Yeah, see you around, Egdork. Of course, by around I mean next period.” Dave said with a grin, then John sent him one in return.

“Haha, okay Dave. I’ll see you then.” He said, and started to walk away. Dave sauntered into class, as cool as ever, and Terezi looked at him in surprise.

“Hey Dave, you’re looking cool today.” She said, and he offered her a smirk.

“I always do. Up for a drawing day?” She asked, and he looked at her, one eyebrow arched perfectly over his shades.

“What do you think?”

“I think something happened. You’re even more ‘ironically swaggy’ than usual today, what’s up? Is it John?” She asked, and Dave shrugged.

“I don’t know. I mean, I may be acting cool, but I’m in the process of desperately attempting to make his female friend back off. At least, that’s what Vantas told me to do.” He said, and she looked at him.

“You’re taking relationship advice from him? And that’s what he told you to do? I’m not surprised at all. So, what happens when John finds out you pushed away his girlfriend, huh?” Terezi asked. “He watches too many romance movies, and thinks they can translate into real life. If you don’t want John to date someone else, tell him how you feel. Seriously, how was that not obvious?”

“I plan to.” Dave said.

“Yeah, before or after you push away the first person that’s been into him since Vriska?” she asked, and Dave frowned.

“Uh, after?”

“Uh, he’s going to be pissed off at you, Dave. Honestly, you guys are so into your big plans and shows of romance that you forget about the actual people involved. If my best friend pushed guys away from me because she wanted me instead, I would be pissed at her. Heck, more than that- I don’t know if our friendship could come back from something like that, and definitely not a relationship, by all means. Geez, Strider, I thought you were smarter than that. Is there anything that’s wrong with this girl he’s into?”

“Well… no. She seems pretty nice, and I think she’s liked John for a while, but I have too.”

“Then tell him that, and quit waiting around! What are you even waiting for, when you tell him?”

“Our friend anniversary. I figured I’d just use the day as our dating anniversary.”

“And when is that?”

“May 26 th .”

“Dave, no offense, but they’ll probably be dating by then. Either get a reason why John can’t date this girl, or tell him now, because you’re being selfish.”

“Well, I don’t know her!”

“What’s her name?” Terezi asked, and Dave frowned.

“Damara Medigo.” Terezi’s eyes got wide, and she looked at Dave.

“Okay, yeah. You definitely need to break in now.”

“Why?”

“I remember her- she used to get bullied, a lot by some girl. And, it happened after she was cheated on. Her boyfriend was dating some older guy behind her back, but she found out. It was awful for her. At one point, she changed schools, but I guess she came back. She’s still nice too- of course that’s why she likes John. He went through the same stuff as her, and she wants someone who gets her. I don’t know if you can stop her from liking him. Look, she’s been through a lot, okay? She doesn’t deserve to get hurt again.”

“John’s taking her out for ‘thank you’ coffee on Saturday!”

“Well, you have until then to confess. Good luck, Dave.” And from then on, she stopped their conversation and actually started doing what the teacher assigned. Dave rested his head on his arm. Maybe John would be mad, but he couldn’t just run in and confess this week. Still, Terezi wasn’t wrong- maybe he just had to find a new way to attack the situation. If he couldn’t go and confess immediately, and he couldn’t just make her stop- Dave had no idea what to do.

Once he left his history class, Dave walked out of the room, followed by Terezi.

“Hey, remember what I said, Dave. Be cool.” She added, and Dave hesitantly nodded.

“Yeah, I’m thinking about it. I’ll catch you later, Terezi. Thanks.” He said, and she gave him a smirk, but walked away after that.

Eventually, he ended up in his next class, and Dave looked around the room. Karkat was there, and he walked over to him.

“Hey, Karkat. Change of plans. You know the whole ‘fight for your man’ thing, or whatever? I think I’d like to do something else instead. So, yeah- heads up on that.” Dave said, and Karkat looked up at him with surprise clear on his face.

“What? Why?” He asked, and Dave sighed.

“I can’t do this to Damara, especially if it’s going to make John mad too. I think… I’m just going to talk to her. Okay?” He said, and Karkat frowned.

“Wait, who talked to you?”

“Terezi, and she was right. I think I need to be a little more real about how I do this.” Dave said, and continued. “It’s not that this doesn’t work sometimes, but my life isn’t a romcom, and ‘supporting character’s’ feelings matter too. So, thank you for the advice, but I need to go about this in a different way. Because right now? I’m just being selfish. John’s not some prize to be fought over- he’s more than that.” He said, looking at the boy. “But despite all that, I sincerely thank you. You’ve been a huge help through all of this. I just… need to handle this part differently.”

“I understand Dave. Hey, it’s advice. You don’t have to take it, and it’s not always right. You’re right about how life not always just a romance comedy. Things don’t always work that way. But hey, if you think this is the best way to go, you know I’m all supportive. I just want you two to be happy.” Karkat said, and Dave gave him a smirk.

“Well, we already are. But thanks, Karkat.” Damara walked in alone today, and Dave immediately walked up to her. “Hey, Damara.” He said, and she offered him a little smile.

“Oh, hi Dave.”

“I was wondering if we could talk sometime. Are you free after school?”

“Well, I ride the bus home… but I can give you my pester chum, if you want!” She said, and Dave nodded.

“That’ll work. I’m Turntech Godhead.”

“I’m Annihilation Attendant.”

“That’s a cool name, Damara.”

“You too! So, should I expect something from you?”

“Uh, whichever one comes first. But yeah, most likely from me.” John walked in at that moment, and when he saw the two talking, he grinned.

“Hey, it’s Dave and Damara. What’s up, guys?” John asked, and matching smiles appeared on their faces when the boy walked in.

“Hi, John! We were just talking, but what about you?” Damara asked, and John grinned.

“I just got out of the most boring class ever, but I’m better now that you guys are here.” John said, then grinned. “So, you guys have any idea what we’re learning? We’re supposed to do a new subject today.”

“Please, I don’t care.” John gave him a pointed look.

“Well Dave, you should- finals are coming up soon.” Damara put hands over her ears.

“No, don’t say it! If we don’t talk about them, I don’t have to get stressed over them. They’re not until May, don’t make me think about it now!” John laughed at that, and a smirk hit Dave’s face. It was true, after all.

“Yeah John, you can’t say the ‘F’ word until late April. Come on, we’re all going to go grey if you start worrying about it now.” Dave said, and Damara grinned appreciatively.

“See, someone gets it.” She said, and the bell rang. “Anyway, I’m sitting down, but see you two later.” She said, and Dave offered her a standard smirk, while John waved.

“See you Damara.” The two boys got into their separate seats as well, and their perpetually late biology teacher walked in the room.  

___

JAFNF Chapter 80

(Wednesday, March 31)

Once the class let out, John, Karkat and Dave all planned to walk out together towards the carpool, but Jake stopped Dave.

“Dave, I need to drive you home today, Dirk said he’d be busy.” Jake said, and Dave raised an eyebrow.

“Really? Okay then, thanks.” He said, and Jake almost looked relieved.

“Uh, unfortunately, I have to get a few things done here before I go. So, do you mind waiting? I have books, or you could work on homework if you want.” Jake said, and Dave blinked.

“Uh, yeah. No problem, I don’t mind. Could I have a book?” Dave asked. He had no intention to read it, but did want to speak with Damara, and needed a cover if he was going to be on his phone. Jake nodded and walked over to his bag, then handed him a book. It was labeled ‘The Talk’, and Dave opened it to the first page, then held it on his lap. After a minute, he pulled out his phone and had it in his lap. He looked for her name, and texted her.

Turntech Godhead (TG) began pestering Annihilation Attendant (AA).

TG: Hey, Damara.

AA: HI DAVE

AA: S0, YOU SAID Y0U WANTED T0 TALK AB0UT S0METHING?

TG: Well, yeah.

TG: I was hoping we could kind of keep his conversation private though

AA: FR0M WH0, SPECIFICALLY?

TG: Got a guess?

AA: SURE, THE 0NLY PERSON WE HAVE IN COMMON

AA: J0HN.

AA: IT’S HIM, RIGHT?

TG: Yep. So, I was wondering if we could, you know.

TG: Not tell him about this?

TG: I mean, it’s your choice.

AA: ARE Y0U PLANNING T0 THREATEN ME INT0 TELLING HIM I HATE HIM?

TG: Actually, no.

AA: ALRIGHT THEN, I CAN AV0ID MENTI0NING THIS.

AA: SO, UH, WHAT’S UP WITH JOHN?

TG: Do you like him?

AA: …

AA: I NEVER REALLY KNEW HIM.

AA: BUT, I’VE SEEN HIM AR0UND CLASS, AND HE SEEMED CUTE, SMART, AND INTERESTING.

AA: I W0N’T LIE, I’VE BEEN CURI0US AB0UT HIM F0R A WHILE.

TG: Define a while?

AA: MAYBE AROUND OCTOBER?

AA: I’VE DEFINITELY BEEN N0TICING HIM F0R A WHILE.

TG: And he’s finally noticing you now, huh

AA:  PRETTY MUCH. I SAW THE 0PPORTUNITY T0 H0PEFULLY START A C0NVERSATI0N WHEN Y0U GUYS CAME T0 THAT RESTAURANT AND… Y0U KNOW THE REST FROM THERE.

TG: So, why do you like him so much?

AA: WELL, HE’S CUTE AND NICE. BUT I THINK HE WOULD GET ME, IN A L0T OF WAYS THAT M0ST PEOPLE WOULDN’T UNDERSTAND. AND, I WANT T0 BE THERE F0R HIM T00. HE ALWAYS SEEMED S0 SAD IN CLASS, AND N0 0NE ELSE SEEMED T0 N0TICE, UNTIL YOU SHOWED UP. I’M GUESSING HE STRUGGLED WITH A L0T, AND I JUST WANT HIM TO BE HAPPY, Y0U KNOW?

TG: Yeah, I get that. You said he was cute?

AA: YES.  I MEAN, HE HAS BLUE EYES AND BLACK HAIR, BUT IT’S MORE ABOUT HIS PERSONALITY. I’VE HEARD HE LIKES MOVIES, AND HE’S SMART AND TALENTED, AND PLAYS THE PIAN0.

AA: IT’S N0T LIKE I KN0W IF I’M REALLY INT0 HIM YET, BUT I LIKE HIM, AND WANT T0 GET T0 KN0W HIM.

AA: IS THAT WEIRD?

TG: No. It’s not.

TG: The thing is I like him too.

TG: Or, more like, I’m pretty much in love with him.

AA: BUT, HE’S NOT A H0MOSEXUAL?

TG: Yeah, he says that, but uh.

TG: Look, it’s complicated, but he ended up dating a version of me that died so that I could date him instead.

AA: THEN… WHY AREN’T Y0U?

TG: I had a date set to ask him.

TG: It was going to be all romancey and stuff too.

AA: 0H…

AA: I GUESS I RUINED THAT, HUH…

TG: It’s not your fault.

TG: And I can’t honestly sit here and demand that you don’t date John.

TG: That’s both hypocritical and just douche baggy.

AA: Y0U TW0 D0 SEEM CLOSE.

AA: AND IT’S NICE T0 SEE THAT HE GETS S0 HAPPY AR0UND Y0U.

TG: Heh, yeah he does.

AA: IT’S CUTE.

TG: Yeah, he is.

TG: *it is.

AA: SO, H0W L0NG HAVE Y0U FELT THAT WAY AB0UT HIM?

TG: Well, I only came to terms with it a few months ago.

TG: But I guess I’ve always really felt like that, I just didn’t know it.

AA: THAT’S SWEET.

TG: Yours too.

TG: I know I can’t ask you to stop being interested in John and just hike him over to me.

TG: I mean, that’s not fair to you at all.

TG: And if I end up as the best man at your wedding or something, I’ll be fine. I mean, I want to be there for him and make sure he’s happy first.

AA: BUT WHAT AB0UT Y0U?

AA: I’M PRETTY SURE Y0U CAN’T JUST, REPLACE FALLING IN L0VE WITH Y0UR BEST FRIEND.

AA: EVEN IF I’M THE REPLACEMENT.

TG: You’re not a replacement.

TG: I’m sure I’ll still fit into John’s life one way or another.

AA: DAVE, I LIKE JOHN.

AA: I MEAN, I’M N0T C0MPLETELY IN L0VE WITH HIM 0R ANYTHING, BUT I LIKE HIM, AND I’VE WANTED T0 GET T0 KN0W HIM F0R A WHILE.

AA: BUT I WANT HIS HAPPINESS M0RE.

TG: So, what does this mean?

TG: I mean, a friend told me I should go the whole ‘fight for your man’ and ‘show her who’s boss’ route.

TG: But that could just turn out badly.

AA: WAS IT KARKAT?

AA: ACTUALLY, I D0N’T NEED T0 ASK, I’M PRETTY SURE I KN0W.

AA: HE, HEH, GETS DRAMATIC WITH R0MANCE.

TG: That’s an understatement.

TG: But what does this mean for us, and John?

AA: …

AA: 0KAY, JUST HEAR ME 0UT.

TG: All ears, Damara.

AA: I GUESS I C0ULD WAIT TO DATE HIM UNTIL YOU ASK HIM 0UT.

AA: Y0U’VE KNOWN HIM F0R TEN YEARS, IT’S 0NLY FAIR THAT Y0U GET THE FIRST TRY.

TG: But aren’t you stacking the odds against yourself?

AA: I’M PRETTY SURE Y0U HAVE S0ME 0DDS STACKED AGAINST Y0URSELF T00.

AA: AT THE END 0F THE DAY, WE JUST WANT HIM T0 BE HAPPY, RIGHT?

TG: Yeah, of course.

AA: 0KAY THEN, I GUESS IF HE ASKS ME 0UT EARLIER, I’LL JUST HAVE TO TELL HIM T0 WAIT…

AA: WHEN DO YOU PLAN ON CONFESSING?

TG: May 26 th .

AA: Wow, that’s late. Well, hypothetically, if he asked me, I could just tell him during summer, I’d be open.

TG: Would you really do that?

AA: HEY, IT’S FOR J0HN.

AA: BUT AFTER YOU GUYS GET TOGETHER, C0ULD Y0U AT LEAST TELL HIM WE HAD THIS CONVERSATION

AA: AND THAT I’M S0RRY?

TG: I will, I can’t thank you enough.

AA: I H0PE Y0U TW0 ARE HAPPY T0GETHER.

AA: JOHN DESERVES IT.

TG: He really does.

TG: Wait that made me sound like more of an asshole than usual

TG: fuck.

AA: HAHA, IT’S 0KAY. I GET WHAT Y0U MEAN.

AA: ANYWAY, WAS THAT EVERYTHING?

TG: Yeah, that was it.

TG: Thank you.

AA: HEY, Y0U KN0W, WE’RE B0TH D0ING THIS F0R J0HN.

TG: Yeah, I know. Still, thank you.

AA: Y0U’RE WELC0ME. I HAVE T0 G0, BUT I HAD 0NE QUESTI0N?

TG: Sure.

AA: WERE Y0U… JEAL0US? IS THAT WHAT ALL THAT STUFF IN THE CLASSR00M WAS?

TG: Pretty much. I mean, you are still a girl. And a really preferable girlfriend.

TG: So yeah, I got pretty jealous.

TG: Sorry.

AA: IT’S 0KAY!

AA: I GET H0W Y0U FEEL.

TG: Yeah.

AA: ANYWAY, I D0 HAVE T0 G0. SEE Y0U LATER?

TG: See you tomorrow, Damara.

Annihilation Attendant (AA) ceased pestering Turntech Godhead (TG).

Dave sat back in his seat, a mix of emotions clear in his mind. He was relieved, but also upset. He never wanted to do this to anyone, and for the second time, he received a major kindness he didn’t deserve regarding John. So when he said he couldn’t thank Damara enough, he meant it. It seemed like everyone was sacrificing their own, personal happiness for him, John, or both of them. Honestly, Dave didn’t want people getting upset or breaking hearts just so he could be with John. Even worse, Damara brought up a big point. John may not even say yes.

Dave thought about what he’d do if John said no. He wasn’t sure if he could salvage their friendship after that. He hoped so, and he wanted to, but at the same time he wasn’t sure. After all, Dave wasn’t Davebot. He wouldn’t be the first person John saw in the morning or the last person he’d see at night on a consistent basis. The vampire knew he couldn’t take John into the sky and fly with him, or any of those things that Davebot specifically did to help him fall for the robot. Still, he had to be honest with John and tell him eventually. Other people may not have been as kind to him as Damara.

“Sorry, Dave. We should be going in fifteen minutes or so, if this blasted grade book would cooperate.” Jake said, and Dave nodded. Well, he should at least work on a little work, so he pulled out his phone and moved it to their online textbook, then pulled out his notebook. He had to do notes on history, and frankly, he hated them. Not to say that he wouldn’t do it- he would, but not with a smile on his face or anything.

So, fifteen minutes and two pages later on why Martin Luther existed, Jake stood up.

“Dave, we can go now. Sorry about keeping you here for so long.” Jake said, and Dave shrugged.

“It’s not a problem. Thanks for picking me up, Mr. English.” Dave said, and a smile hit the man’s face.

“You’re welcome.” The teacher grabbed his stuff, and Dave handed him the book back, then the two headed out to his car. “So, Dave. Did you read anything interesting?” He asked, and Dave’s face dipped into a little, apologetic frown.

“No, I ended up just doing homework. Thanks for the book anyway.” Dave said, and Jake looked a little put out by that, but tried not to show it.

“No problem. If you want, you can have it.” Jake said, and Dave raised an eyebrow. It seemed like there was more to this book offer than he originally presumed.

“Are you sure, Mr. English?” He asked, and the teacher nodded.

“Of course, it’s more than fine. I’m a teacher, I love sharing knowledge.” He paused. “Actually, I can just hand it to you once we end up at your house.”

“Well, that would be good. Thank you.” Dave said, and he meant it. Jake smiled at him warmly, but the two stopped talking after that. The ride wasn’t entirely silent though- Jake had the radio on, and it played some sort of jazzy guitar song. Dave enjoyed the relative peacefulness of the situation, in stark contrast to what his older brother would play in the car. Despite the fact that he was his teacher, Dave liked Jake. He felt his phone buzz in his pocket, and the grey tinted notification meant that Karkat, most likely, was speaking to him.

“Who’s that?” Jake asked absentmindedly, and Dave spoke up.

“Oh, Karkat. He’s in your 7 th period with me.” Dave said, then pulled out the phone. Apparently, Karkat was wondering if he wanted to hang out this weekend, and Dave agreed to it. John would have been busy anyway.

“Yes, Karkat Vantas, right? Is he a friend of yours?”

“Definitely. He’s a vampire too, and he was with us during that whole… misunderstanding in the almost desert.” Dave said, and Jake nodded appreciatively.

“Are you two close?”

“Yeah, we are. He was the first friend I made here that I didn’t know already, but I think he’s closer to John. Either way, he’s a cool guy.” Dave said, a little smirk on his face as he thought about his friend. Yes, he may have been on a man period 24/7, but he was still a supportive friend in the end.

“That’s nice for you two.” Jake said, and Dave nodded.

“Yeah, he’s a really good person, once you get past the swearing.” Dave said, speaking in support of his friend.

“Really? Hm. That’s interesting. How did you get past the swearing?”

“Well, I guess we both got close over protecting John, then he volunteered to protect Jade and Calliope in the desert so that we could, uh, remove the hunters, and after that we all just sort of became better friends. I don’t know, but he’s there when I do my vampire thing with Dolorosa.”

“Is Jade friends with him too?” Jake asked, and Dave smirked.

“Yeah, they’re the closest. Even more than that, really.” He commented, and Jake squeezed the steering wheel a little.

“Even more?”

“Well, they are my two closest friends, besides John. So, they’re not dating or anything, but I’d like to say they could, or even that they should. But that’s just me, I don’t know how Jade feels about it.”

“Does she know about the dangers?” Jake asked, and Dave shrugged.

“Probably. I mean, She most likely gets the whole issue with sex or whatever, and she’d probably start figuring out the chemical makeup of a drug before she ever tried one.” Jake raised his eyebrows.

“You’re pretty open about this.”

“My parents ran a porn doll company, and when I asked where babies came from, Bro told me to go look it up. I found articles about what to do and what not to do, and I didn’t really forget, even though I was like, seven.”

“Wait, your parents ran a porn doll company?” Jake asked, his voice rising in pitch. Dave raised an eyebrow.

“What, you didn’t know?” Dave asked, and Jake shook his head. “Well, yeah. They tried to pass it down to Bro when they died, but he didn’t want to deal with it, so he got the money from it and shut it down. I guess he could restart it if he wanted to, because it’s technically still his, but he clearly doesn’t. How did you not know about that? Have you not seen the smuppets in our house?”

“Not really. I mean- great gazdooks, I didn’t know. That’s… wow.” Jake said, and Dave shrugged.

“I don’t know, it’s always just been something I lived with. Although, the puppets used to terrify me. Dirk would always use them in pranks, and I would hate it, but he stopped doing that.” Dave said, and Jake looked back at him through the rearview mirror. Of course, he couldn’t see Dave, so the action kind of ended up in vain.

“Hm, well that’s certainly interesting. Dirk never told me.”

“Maybe he was waiting, or didn’t feel like it was a big deal. It’s not like he still uses the company or anything.” Dave said, and Jake shrugged.

“I suppose so.” He said, and pulled into Dave’s driveway. “Anyway, I guess we’re here.” Dave picked up his school bag, and sent Jake a grateful smile.

“Thanks for driving me home.”

“No problem Dave, I’ll see you tomorrow.” He said, and the vampire stepped out of the car, then walked up to the front door. Instead of ringing the bell, he used his keys and just walked in. After offering Jake a thumbs up, the teacher started to leave, and Dave shut the door behind him. As he arrived in his home, he saw Equius walk past him quickly, presumably without noticing him.

“Hey.” Dave said, nonchalantly, and Equius looked startled for a second but answered.

“Greetings, Dave. Did you enjoy school?” He asked, and Dave shrugged.

“About as much as always.”

“Splendid. If you’ll excuse me, I believe I’m needed downstairs.” He said, and Dave offered him a wave as his black hair blew out behind him while he went down his brother’s stairway. As Dave started to ascend a different stairway, up to his layer of the house, Jade sprinted by him and tried to open the locked front door. She turned the knob in frustration, and seizing the opportunity, Dave spoke up.

“You may want to try unlocking it first, Harley.” Dave said, and she rolled her eyes but did it.

“Hi Dave. I was getting to it. Bye Dave!” She said, and gleefully slammed the door behind her. There were a lot of people in his house, now that he thought about it. Well, up to five at a time, if Jake was there. With a sigh, the vampire started to climb the steps again, and went off to complete some work.

__

APRIL FOOL’S CHAPTER IS NEXT. Also, there’s actual plot development too, but I found a lot of fun pranks.

JAFNF Chapter: APRIL FOOLS! (81??)

AN: Just as a warning, viewer discretion is advised. Do not, under any circumstances try these if you are unable to do them safely. I tried to pick out a few that were fun but not dangerous, and these seemed like the best ones. Also, having a bucket of water crash on you head is not pleasant way to wake up, despite how much fun John has. With that taken care of, let’s go!

____________

(Wednesday, March 31 st )

John grinned. He’d already picked up his stink bombs from Jade, along with the obligatory Febreze and zip ties. Not only that, but he also had paint, and an air horn or two. She also handed him an ‘instant jello maker’, something she promised was completely safe. He believed her, and was more than ready to prepare for April Fools. For the first time in a while, John headed downstairs, to the kitchen. He had to finish the caramel onions for tomorrow.

When he ran into his dad ‘baking’, the man quickly hid his work. John grinned at his father, and knew whatever he was planning would be good.

“Hey dad! Do you have any plans tomorrow?” John asked, and the man looked back at him causually.

“Oh you know, just work. What about you, John?” He asked, and John smiled.

“Well, I may have to cancel my walk with Dave, since it’s supposed to rain tomorrow. They say it should be pretty light though.” John commented, and his father raised an eyebrow.

“Oh, really? I’m sure if you bring an umbrella you’ll be fine, if it’s light. Anyway, I hardly see you in the kitchen, what are you making?” He asked, and John only grinned.

“I just feel like having something sweet, that’s all. You can continue whatever you were doing, if you’d like.” John commented, but the man shook his head.

“Oh no, I was really done in here anyway. Maybe I’ll call Roxanne.” He said, but John shook his head.

“I don’t know if that’s a great idea, she said she was really busy working on some project.” John said, feigning innocence. John’s father looked at him suspiciously, but shrugged.

“Alright then. Well, goodnight Jonathan, I’ll see you tomorrow.” The man said, and John grinned.

“Night, dad!” John smiled devilishly as he saw the man walk up the stairs. This year, he had quite the vast number of pranks planned, and nothing anyone could do would stop him. With a grin on his face, John looked for the onions he bought, and found the candy apple recipe. This would be perfect for Dave, and he could do the rest tomorrow.

_____________-

The next morning, John actually forgot that it was April fool’s day. Of course, his father definitely reminded him of the fact. As John opened the door to his bathroom, a bucket of water came crashing down on his head. John remembered after that. The note, placed on his sink ended up not being necessary. John still picked it up, and read it anyway.

“Happy April Fool’s Day, Jonathan! Good luck today.” The note read, and a grin stretched across John’s face. He grabbed his towel to dry off his face, and remembered the pranks he’d set up the previous night. He couldn’t wait to see what his dad would think about what he did. Of course, none of his pranks were lethal in the slightest, and were all in the name of good fun. He picked up his toothbrush and combined it with his toothpaste, only to start brushing blue into his teeth. By the time he noticed, he already filled his mouth with minty tasting blue food dye, and immediately rinsed out his mouth.

“Ack, gross!” He said, and unfortunately, his tongue remained blue. Well, whatever, he could get a new toothbrush. John giggled with the cleverness of  the prank. Eventually, he finished his morning routine, only to find his textbook covered in sticky notes. He saw his dad in the kitchen, and the man held a towel. John held up the book with a grin. “Dad, really?” He asked, and the man smirked down at him. He wiped a mess of water from the floor.

“Good morning to you too. I appreciated finding my keys.” He said, and John giggled. He placed them in a glass of water that was also upside down. To get to them, John’s dad would end up having to let out and clean up at least eight ounces of spilled water. Apparently, he still hadn’t activated his next two pranks. The “candy apples” John made last night sat enticingly on the countertop.

“Oh, no problem Dad. Would you like an apple?” He asked, pointing to the tray of food. John’s father laughed.

“No thanks John, you didn’t really think I would fall for that, did you?” He asked, and John shook his head.

“Nah, those are for someone else. I probably shouldn’t touch those breakfast muffins, right?” John asked, and the man chuckled.

“No, these are for Roxanne. She’ll never know what hit her. I figured I would spare you, since your teeth are looking a little blue.” He commented, and John laughed at that.

“Okay, that was good. Thanks, Dad.” John said, and the man smiled.

“Any time, Johnathan. By the way, the thing with my keys was creative. Nice job, on that. Should I expect some more, this morning?”

“Oh, definitely.” You gave me at least three, and this year, I have more friends to prank!” John said, and his father smiled.

“Good luck, John. Don’t get expelled.” He added, and John blinked.

“None of them are that bad. Oh, but Jade gave me stink liquid.” John commented. “I may not use it though, I don’t want to be super mean to anyone.” He added, and his father smiled.

“Yes, it would be a good idea to stay away from that. I had quite the scuffle with the principal when it came to using that, once.” He commented, and John looked at him in interest.

“Oh, really?” He asked. “What was the story?” Before the man could respond, Roxy walked out of her room. John turned to her. “Morning, Roxy!” He said, and she walked up to him, then ruffled his hair affectionately. She looked pleased about something, and John was curious to see what had her so excited.

“Oh, good morning you two! By the way, I finished that thing you wanted John. As soon as that kid logs into his computer, he’ll find all his files replaced with images of cats. Give him this, would you?” She asked, handing John a large flashdrive. John gave her a high five.

“Sollux is going to be so mad! I can’t wait to give this to him.” John said, and she smirked.

“Let him know it was just a prank too, and that I didn’t go through any of his stuff, alright?” Roxy asked, and John nodded dutifully, then placed the item in his backpack. He still had time to wait before Dave came over, and Roxy walked over to his father. “Oh, you made muffins, and Candy apples?” Roxy asked, and Jacob grinned.

“Actually, John made the candy apples, but I believe they’re for Dave. I did make muffins, if you want something to eat.” He offered, and Roxy shrugged.

“Sure, sounds good.” He handed her one, and both John and Jacob watched her eat it. After the first bite, it was fine, but when she took the second, her face changed. “What did you do.” She said, glaring towards Jacob, who looked at her innocently, and John suppressed a laugh.

“Are you enjoying the muffin?” He asked, and she looked down at her confectionary treat. In an instant, she saw the white and screeched.

“Did you put mayo in my muffin?” She said, a murderous look in her eyes. John giggled.

“Oh, look at her face!” He exclaimed, and the man finally laughed too.

“I can’t believe she fell for it!” He said, and Roxy grabbed a napkin, trying to remove the awful taste from her mouth. In an instant, she turned towards John.

“You knew?!” She asked him, and John tried to stop his laughter long enough to respond.

“Nope! I just didn’t trust the muffins this morning, but I didn’t see what he did!” Roxy glared at him, and when Jacob settled down, he affirmed his son’s words. Roxy was in the middle of rinsing her mouth out when the two finally stopped.

“He didn’t know. John’s already received and delved out his fair share of pranks this morning, so he already got revenge for you. I found my keys in a cup of water.” He said, and Roxy looked at John, a quizzical expression on her face.

“What’s funny about that?”

“It was upside down, on the countertop. He had to spill the water everywhere if he wanted them.” John said, and Roxy raised an eyebrow.

“Hm, nice one.” Roxy said, and grinned. “Now I’ll know what to do next year!” The woman added, and John pouted.

“Hey, no taking my pranks!” He said, then held up his textbook. “Also, dad did this. You only did it to one, right?” John asked, and his father nodded.

“Of course, I didn’t want to tamper with all of your things. Anyway, I think you’ve activated all of my pranks, so happy April fool’s day, you two.” The man said, and Roxy looked up.

“You make it sound like you’re leaving?” Roxy questioned, and Jacob sighed.

“All pranks aside, I still have work to do. So yes, I have to go. Tell Dave I say hello, John, and both of you have a good day.” He said, picking up a briefcase. Roxy put a hand on her hip, but John spoke.

“Okay Dad, have a good day!” He said, and the man offered the two a wave goodbye. John seemed to be waiting for something though, and after he heard his door close, a loud air horn resounded through their garage.

“John!” He heard his father shout, and John ran to the door.

“Happy April fools!” He shouted, and the man laughed, then backed out of the garage with his car. John waved, and a few minutes later, Dave appeared at his front door. Roxy still milled around in the kitchen, and John ran to the door to let Dave in. The blonde had a few raindrops in his hair, and John fully expected to see the remnants of a rainbow on his dad’s windshield tonight. Dave, who clearly walked without an umbrella, looked at John.

“Hey, so it’s raining.” Dave said, and John grinned.

“I see that. We can take an umbrella, or my car.” Dave thought about it.

“Hm, I’d rather not have to search for parking at school.” He said, and Dave walked into the house. He saw Roxy, and greeted her normally. “Hey, Roxy. Good morning.” Dave said, and looked down at the countertop, where ‘candy apples’ sat. “Oh, what’s this?” He questioned, and Roxy gave him a knowing smile.

“Morning, Dave. Do you want one? John made them specially for you, since he knows apples are your favorite.” She said, and John’s ears burned and he spoke up.

“Uh, no I didn’t! Dad made them, that’s all.” John said, looking embarrassed. Dave’s eyebrows narrowed at the words. John looked embarrassed, and Dave came to a conclusion. John was, apparently, embarrassed about giving his friend a random gift. The blonde immediately wanted to read farther into it, because it was a possibility that John started to reciprocate feelings. Dave felt a smirk grow on his face.

“Oh, really John? Well, be sure to tell your ‘dad’ I say thank you.” Dave was already walking over to what was bound to be a delicious treat. He put the ‘apple’ up to his mouth, and saw John watch him nervously. That settled it, John had to have made these for him. With a satisfied smirk, the blonde bit into one. At first, it tasted fine. The food was as sugary as he expected, and it brought a smile to his face. Then, he frowned, because the tastes of the apple was ‘off’. He put the food down, with an unpleasant expression on his face.

“Well, how is it?” John asked, and Dave glared at him.

“What is this?” Dave asked, and John grinned cheekily.

“Oh, you know, candy onions. Happy April Fool’s!” John said, a smile stretching across his face. Dave looked at him for a second in surprise, then understanding.

“John Egbert you are dead.” Dave said, and John, who already had his backpack on, stood.

“Not if you can’t catch me!” He said, and looked at Roxy. “Put prankster on my grave. Bye!” He shouted, and the boy ran for the front door. Roxy laughed, and looked at Dave.

“You should go catch him. I’ll take care of this. Have a good day at school!” She said, and Dave smirked.

“Thanks, you too Roxy. Bye!” He said, pulling his backpack on, and in one motion, he was following John down the street. The kid could run, but Dave wasn’t about to be beaten.

“John, you’re fucked!” He shouted, running after him, and John only laughed.

“You’ll never catch me alive!” They ran past other confused teenagers, and just as Dave started to catch up to his friend, they started towards the stairs that led to their high school.

“Ha, got you!” He said, grabbing the back of John’s shirt. Unfortunately, the action started to make him trip. The blonde’s victorious expression turned to one of horror, because he could see the events happening in slow motion. Both of them would trip, and both would have an untimely collision with the pavement. John’s front tooth would crack and the two would end up bleeding. Dave and John prepared for the impact with their eyes squeezed shut. However, before they could both fall, Dave did… something. He closed his eyes and held John’s shirt tighter, in a fruitless attempt to save him. Suddenly, instead of hitting the stairs, someone popped up out of nowhere and touched both, then in an instant they were on the grass beside the stairway.

John was in a sitting position while Dave landed uncomfortably. The hunter swore he saw two Daves for a second, before one disappeared with a small flash of light. He felt like he saw the disappeared Dave smile, but shook his head. There weren’t any other students there, but the two were both confused. John put a hand on his head, then looked at Dave, who remained sprawled out on the grass.

“Dave?” John asked, understandable confusion in his tone. The blonde looked up and groaned from the fall. Thankfully, the grass had a gigantic layer of dirt, and while it wasn’t the softest place to fall on your face, it was substantially better than the concrete.

“Urg, John? What the heck?” He asked, and John blinked.

“Dave, we were on the steps a second ago. And, I think I was seeing double, or something.” He said, and Dave, now fully aware, realized he was right.

“We were, how…?” He asked, and John looked at him in confusion.

“I don’t know. Did you do something?” He asked, and Dave frowned as John helped him up.

“Maybe?” He said, and looked down at his hands in surprise. “If I did, I don’t know how.” He added, and John frowned.

“Weird. Well, let’s not run on the steps anymore, okay?” John asked, and Dave nodded.

“Yeah, sure.” He said, and they left it at that. “But seriously, candied onions?” He asked, and John grinned.

“Hey, you fell for it. My Dad should have a rainbow on his windshield now.” John said, and Dave smirked at him.

“Wow, you guys take this stuff seriously. Is this the last prank you’re pulling today?” John grinned.

“Not even close. Jade made me a stink bomb, but I don’t think I’m using it. I don’t want to get suspended. Oh, but I do have plans for Mr. English, and Karkat.” John said, with a grin. “They’ll never see it coming. And, I may do something for the guy’s locker room.” He added, and Dave smirked.

“Hm, sounds interesting.” Dave said, and together, the friends walked inside. Things were uneventful for the most part of the day. In fourth period, when John knew Mr. English would be at lunch, John took a bathroom pass. He snuck into the teacher’s room, and after confirming that no one was there, put his miniature stapler in a vat of Jade’s instant jello thing. Immediately the green collid surrounded the stapler, and John left him a note.

“From Jade and John, happy April Fools!” It said, and John left the room before his teacher could come back. By the time he reached 5 th period lunch, John still had yet to give Sollux the flash drive, but he would do it before the day ended.  The boy was dying in a fit of giggles when he invited Dave to come do the locker room stunt with him. So, in fifth period, John held a half empty can of Febreze, with a zip tie around its handle. Dave looked at him.

“You sure you won’t get in trouble for this?” He asked, and John grinned.

“Nope!” He said, and proceeded with his prank anyway. John walked near the entrance to the smelly locker room, then pulled the zip tie. He threw the can in and ran away, with Dave trailing behind him. The result? An unstoppable spray of fresh air effects came out, and in the end, it made the occupants happy. Of course they were confused at first, but when it finally stopped spraying, they looked at the can. It read ‘Happy April Fool’s!’ and the teacher that found it chuckled.

John placed a full can of air freshener, without the zip tie, directly outside the locker room. After all, the area needed it. Once Dave and John returned, they proceeded to have a semi- normal lunch period, until Dave mentioned that morning’s events.

“So, you two teleported? Dave, I think it was you.” He said, looking at the blonde.

“Okay, but I’m wondering how.” He said, and Karkat shrugged.

“You’re a pureblood, right? It could be your powers. Kanaya’s started kicking in around this time last year.” Karkat said, and John looked between the two in confusion.

“Hold on, time out. What ‘powers’? Teleporting wasn’t included in the list you gave me.” John said, and Karkat scooted up in his chair. He seemed prepared to explain, and both John and Dave leaned in curiously to hear him.

“Okay, well along with the usual things vampires can do, some have a few more special abilities. Usually, it’s just purebloods. Their abilities are pretty specific though, and so far, the only two purebloods with a similar power set have been Kanaya and Dolorosa. We don’t know too much about it yet, but it’s supposed to be specific to each pureblood. Kanaya and Dolorosa both teleport, and can shrink and expand things.”

“Wait, you said usually it’s purebloods. Has someone that’s not a pure blooded vampire ever developed powers?” Dave asked, and Karkat looked uncomfortable.

“They have. It happens through some extremely specific circumstances, and so far I only know about it happening once. When it does, the powers they develop definitely aren’t as strong as a pureblood’s, but a vampire can get some personal powers of their own.” Karkat said, and Dave blinked.

“I didn’t know that.”

“Yeah, you’re probably not supposed to. Even hunters don’t know that part.” He looked at John. “So, don’t tell anyone.” He said, and John nodded.

“Sure. So, how did Kanaya find her powers?” He asked, and a smirk fell on Karkat’s face.

“Actually, it was pretty funny. I was with her when it started, and she forced me to come clothing shopping with her. We were in a store, and she said she really wanted some shirt to be smaller, so it fit her. The thing glowed green in the middle of the store, and shrank to the size of doll clothes.” He said, and laughed a little. “Kanaya and I freaked the fuck out, naturally.”

“Did anyone else see?” Dave asked, and Karkat shook his head.

“Not to my knowledge. The store only had one employee there, and she was in a dressing room.” Karkat said, and John gave him a look.

“You were in Kanaya’s dressing room?” John asked, and Karkat glared at him.

“Okay, first, we’re childhood friends, we grew up with our parents taking pictures of us in bathtubs together. Second, I stood outside of it, John!” He said, and John raised his eyebrows.

“You would go in her dressing room just because you’ve known each other for a long time? I don’t think Dave’s seeing me naked any time soon.” John said, and Dave snapped.

“Oh, dang. I was making plans.” Dave said, a smirk growing on his face. John laughed.

“Eww, Dave!” John cried, and Dave laughed a little.

“Kidding. But back on topic, do you guys think I’m getting mine? They wouldn’t be the same as Kanaya’s, right? I mean, they’re supposed to be really personal.” He said, and Karkat shrugged.

“Yeah, well, just be happy that they’re helping you. They did save you from a nasty concrete fall.” Dave nodded.

“They did.” John spoke up after that.

“Dave, oh my gosh. You’re going to be a superhero!” John said, and Karkat blinked, but Dave smirked.

“Shit, you’re right. I’m in my early phases now, just figuring out how to use my powers, but after a little character development I can go save the world.” Dave said, and John grinned.

“We can get Kanaya in on it too, and make Rose like Lowis lane. She probably won’t mind being pushed off a building or two, right? And Karkat and I will be your cool friends that cover for you in school.” John said, and Karkat finally spoke up.

“Hold on, superheroes? I don’t think so. I mean, realistically, people would find out. Once the CIA does a face scan on you, you’re toast. Even if you wore a mask, someone would find out. They always do.” Karkat said, and John deflated.

“Aww, you’re probably right. There’s probably been like, thousands of vampires all over the world, but none of them are really called into action against superheroes. You guys just live normal lives, for the most part. But if duty calls, you’ll be there, right super Dave?” John asked, and Dave smirked.

“With great power comes great teenaged drama.” He commented, and Karkat rolled his eyes.

“You don’t even know. Guess how much of this crazy shit I would get into if I wasn’t a vampire? Yeah, zero.” He said, and Dave frowned.

“But then you wouldn’t know me. Doesn’t that make it worth it?” John smirked.

“Oh, you wouldn’t know Jade either, right?” He added, and Karkat’s cheeks darkened.

“Fine, fine. It does make it worth it. But none of you are becoming superheroes, okay?” Karkat said, and John laughed.

“Chill out, I don’t even think I could be a superhero. We don’t even have any supervillans to fight!” John said, and Dave spoke up.

“I’m pretty sure Caliborn counts.” Dave said, and John frowned.

“Well, he’s been defeated, so no worries about him, right?” John asked, and Karkat looked to the side before answering.

“Yeah, you’re right, we’re done with that asshole.” Karkat said. At one point, John stood up with the gigantic flashdrive he received from Roxy, and ran to the lunchroom. He found Equius, and entrusted him with what was presumably the contents of Sollux’s computer. John told Equius to tell Sollux it was from Roxy, and also to let him have a good April Fool’s day. Equius took the flashdrive with mirth clear on his features, and John returned to the library. Eventually, the bell rang and John picked up his things.

“See you in seventh period, Karkat!” John said cheerily, and the boy gave both Dave and John a causal wave.

“See you.” And see him, Karkat would.

When they finally arrived in their last class period, John sprinted to put something in Karkat’s seat, and planted his prank just before the boy walked in. John sat in his desk, and waited for Karkat to come to him and sit. Eventually, he did, and the few students in the class heard a large fart sound when the vampire sat. Thankfully, there were only about four other people in the room, besides John and Karkat. Most turned to look at Karkat and his pale face went red with embarrassment. A few kids stifled laughs. John giggled as he removed the whoopee cushion from his chair, and Karkat glared at him.

“Egbert, you little piece of shit-”

“Happy April Fool’s day!” John said, and Karkat looked at him.

“Really?”

“Come on, it was either that or the air horn. Or, I could have done the stink bomb.” John said, and Karkat just rolled his eyes, but found the corner of his lip turning upwards, despite himself.

“That was so fucking stupid.” Karkat commented, and John smirked.

“You’re smiling.”

“I am, and I hate it.” He said, and Dave entered the room. Dave saw the two talking and his eyebrows raised in inquiry.

“Pranked Karkat?” Dave asked, and instead of responding, John just raised his hand up for a high five. In all, he had a fantastic April fool’s. Sure, he received a prank or two, but he pulled practical jokes on others as well, and he decided it was more fun this way.

___________________________

AN: Hey, sorry for the filler, but everyone deserves a break, huh? Anyway, there’s April fool’s, we’ll get right back to the drama in the next chapter.

JAFNF Chapter 81

(Friday, April 2)

It was Friday, and John’s nervousness was evident. After that insane April Fool’s day, John had other things to focus on. One of them happened to be in impending meeting, and both Karkat and Dave sat in the library, attempting to calm the boy.

“Wait, does that mean I get her flowers?” John asked, and Karkat put a palm to his forehead. He’d been trying to get John to calm down for the past 30 minutes, while Dave, surprisingly, offered input too. Dave already updated Karkat on his conversation with Damara, and they began to search for other available matches for her.

“Did you ask her on a date?” Dave asked, for the millionth time that day. “Did you phrase it that way?”

“Well, no…”

“Then you don’t have to! Dammit John, why are you making this so complicated?” Karkat asked, and John sighed.

“I don’t know if it’s a date or not! What if she likes me? I mean, I want to get to know her better, and she sounds nice.” John mused.

“Egdork. Look at me.” Dave said, causing John to turn his blue eyes up towards his friend. Dave put his hands on his shoulders, and stood while John sat in a chair. “Just go, talk to her. If you want to ask her out, do it. If you don’t, don’t. You don’t have to feel obligated to do anything but try to have a good time, okay?” Dave asked, and John thought about his friend’s words, but nodded.

“… Okay.” He said, and Karkat sighed in relief. “But what if she expects flowers?” John asked, and both Karkat and Dave released gigantic groans. One of the vampires even went so far as to cover his mouth while he stifled a scream of frustration, and Dave moved his hand up his face and under his glasses to rub his eyes.

“John. I know this is your first quote unquote date, but please, try to be a little cooler about this. Come on, you’re just two people that are getting coffee, people do it all the time.” Dave said, and John glared at him.

“First, this isn’t my first date. Second, I don’t think I’ve seen you on any dates either, and third, I’m being normal about it! I just want her to be happy. Karkat said the person who likes me’s name starts with D, and it has to be her. And I just want to make things right for her! She’s a really nice girl, and I think she deserves it.” Dave looked away, and Karkat filled in for him.

“Then don’t mess it up by being all nervous, okay? Just be normal. Picture yourselves as friends or something, like Dave is there, not Damara.” John thought about it for a second, and frowned.

“But it would be different with Dave.” John said, and Dave looked at him curiously.

“You’ve thought about it?”

“Sure, it’s come up with everyone I know. Don’t tell me you haven’t.” John said, and Dave turned so that John wouldn’t see his cheeks turn red.

“No comment.” John rolled his eyes at that, and Karkat broke in.

“Look John, this isn’t about a date with Dave. You don’t even know if it is a date, okay?” Karkat broke in. “I’m just saying, you should be normal. Don’t freak out on her, just talk.”

“About what?”

“Her likes and dislikes, your likes and dislikes, hair, class, I don’t know John. Anything is fine.” Karkat said, and John looked at him doubtfully.

“You think she’ll like what I like?”

“I’m sure you two will be fine. Just comment on her shirt, or walk around or something, I don’t know. Just try to have a good time. I mean, what did you do on your last date?” Dave asked, and John thought about it.

“Hmm… last time, I was playing the piano with Vriska, and she had her guitar out too. I don’t know if jam sessions count, but we had fun, so-”

“Sure, it counts. Just try to have fun with her.” Dave said, and John let out a little sigh.

“You think that will work?” He asked, and both Karkat and Dave shared a look, before nodding.

“Yes, it will. Just have fun, okay?” Karkat said, and John bit his cheek.

“I just think I’ll get awkward.” John said, and Karkat looked at him.

“What do you need, practice?” He asked, and John shrugged.

“Maybe?” John asked, and noticed a little spark in Karkat’s eyes. Dave saw it too, and before her could redirect their conversation, Karkat spoke up.

“Dave, sit down across from John, we’re doing this. You need practice, and that’s what I’m going to give you.” He said, and Dave looked at him.

“Dude-”

“Great idea Karkat!” John said, and Dave looked between John, and Karkat’s sug expression.

“Come on Dave, please?” John asked, and Dave frowned. John grinned. “Where doing this man.” He said, emphasizing the ‘h’ in the word. Dave cracked a smile at the refrence, and realized that he couldn’t say no to that.

“Never speak of this again.” Dave said, and sat across from him, and John leaned towards him.

“Where making this happen.” He said, and Dave snorted.

“John, that was like, page ten. How the fuck do you even remember that?” He asked, and John shrugged.

“You making it had something to do with it-”

“Ahem?” Karkat coughed, and John and Dave looked towards him. “Better. Okay John, you’re John. Dave, you’re Damara.” Karkat said. “John, talk to her.” Karkat said, and John looked up.

“What do we talk about?” John asked, and Dave’s voice raised in pitch for a moment as he responded.

“Well, I like lots of things, like boys and anime, and gossip. Oh, and I just adore painting my nails and putting green stuff on my face and cucumbers over my eyes!” Dave said, and John giggled.

“Dave! She won’t do that.” John said, reaching to lightly punch the boy. Dave smirked.

“You never know.”

“Dave, be serious!” Karkat called, and Dave rolled his eyes, and started to speak in his normal voice.

“Fine. Okay, take two. Hi John, thanks for doing all of this, but you really didn’t have to.” Dave said, and John looked at him, sincerity clear in his words.

“No, it’s my pleasure. Really, that pizza was super nice of you too.”

“Hey, I almost killed you.” Dave said, attempting to be a normal version of Damara. “I think a pizza is worth far less than your life. Seriously John, it was no problem.” Dave said.

“Well, alright then. Oh, wait! Hold on, what’s on your shirt?” John asked, and Dave looked down. He had a logo for some band he hadn’t heard in a while.

“Oh, You like Fun?” He asked, and John grinned.

“Well, I haven’t heard them in a while, but I used to be really into it.” John said, and Dave’s eyes widened behind his shades.

“No way, me too. Okay, which one was the best, Aim and Ignite, Some Nights, or Before Shane Went to Bangok?”

“Hm, maybe Aim and Ignite.” John answered him.

“Really? Why, I kind of liked Some Nights more, because of songs like We Are Young.” Dave said, and John shrugged.

“Eh, I like that one, but it’s so popular. I used to hear it everywhere. With Aim and Ignite, they had a lot of songs that I did piano covers for.”

“Really? I remixed some of their stuff-”

“Ahem, Damara. I don’t think she’s into remixing.” Karkat called, and Dave looked up at him, then he realized he got too into it. Maybe he should cut his losses now, and hope that John didn’t catch how much he enjoyed it. In reality, he liked their conversation, and wanted it to continue. Sure, the coffee dates weren’t what he planned on first, but he found himself liking the idea of them more, especially if John was on the other side of the table.

“Oh, right. Sorry.” Dave said, and Karkat smirked, while John rested his hand on the table.

“Hey, it’s okay. I was having fun.” John said, and Karkat chose that moment to speak to the two.

“Good, just do that. You can do it John.” Karkat added, and before he could offer any more input, the bell rang to dismiss them from their current class. Dave stood up, and passed by Karkat. The boy’s voice lowered to a whisper as they waited for John to get all of his stuff. “You’re fucking welcome Strider.” Karkat said, and Dave offered no response to that.

“Thanks, you two.” John said, draping his arms around the two boys. Granted, it was a little weird attempting to pull Dave down to his height, but both boys went with it.

“No problem, John.” Karkat said, and Dave said something similar, before John let them go. Eventually they parted, and John and Dave stayed together to walk to their next class. John eventually reached Dave’s history class, enveloped him in a hug, then left for his own.

By the time the three boys reconvened in English’s class, John felt more confident about hanging out with Damara. When she walked in, this time after John and Dave, she gave him a nervous smile. John offered her a wave as he walked forward to talk to her, and Dave saw her expression change when her eyes glanced over him for a second. It quickly reverted to her normal one in front of John.

“Hey, John.” Damara said, and John grinned. He propped himself up on a desk as he spoke.

“Hey Damara! You excited for tomorrow?” He asked, and she offered him a sweet smile.

“I am! It’s at 1:00, right?” She asked, and John nodded.

“Yep! Are you getting dropped off?” John asked her, and her long, dark hair moved as she nodded.

“I am. I’ll look for you inside, if that’s okay.”

“Sounds perfect.” John said, and saw his teacher run in. “Anyway, I have to go sit down. See you tomorrow!” John said, and she offered him a smile.

“See you!” They both sat down, and class started. Eventually, they got out for the weekend, and while Karkat and John went for their weekly movie, Mr. English stopped Dave for the second time that week.

“Sorry Dave, but Dirk wants me to drive you home again. There’s something about robotics that he needs to do.” Jake said, and Dave’s eyebrows raised, but he nodded.

“Oh, alright. Thanks for doing it again.” He said, and Jake nodded.

“No problem. If you want, we can go now. I try to leave early on Fridays.” Jake said, and Dave looked surprised, but picked up his backpack once again.

“Really? Okay, cool.” He put the red item on his back, and found himself in Jake’s car yet again. They were silent for a few minutes again, before Jake spoke up.

“So, do you have any plans this weekend?” He asked, and Dave shrugged.

“I’m hanging out with Karkat, and maybe John. I don’t know.” Dave said. “What about you?” Jake thought about it.

“I get to start making your test, and I have a few things to enter in the grade book. If Jade’s not too busy, I wanted to show her around the area. But that may not work, she’s been very busy analyzing those samples. How did she get them again?”

“Oh, Tavros got them for her. Dirk sounded upset about it, but I don’t know why.” Dave frowned, and a little smile hit Jake’s face.

“I think he was being a tad overprotective, because- that’s right, he was complaining about a boy with a Mohawk appearing in his house. I assume that’s Tavros, right?” Jake asked, and Dave smirked, thinking about it.

“Yeah, that’s him. He looks crazy tough, but he couldn’t hurt anyone if he wanted to. I think he really tries to be more confident than he is, but he’s good friends with Jade, Equius, Nepeta, and I think Karkat. I like him too.” Dave said, and Jake grinned.

“Well, Dirk certainly doesn’t seem to think that. Then again, it’s not as if he knows the lad. He just knows he hangs around Jade every now and then, I suppose.” Jake said, and Dave nodded.

“Yeah, I guess so. But everyone hangs around Jade- she’s pretty fucking nice. Actually, she was one of my first friends. Along with Rose and John, I guess I just ended up feeling closest to them.”

“Interesting. Well, I know with my circle of friends, we all met in high school.”

“That includes John’s mom, right?”

“Yep. We were extremely close in high school, and even after she met John’s dad, we kept contact. She’s the only reason why I’m a hunter now.” Jake said, looking forward as he drove.

“Really?”

“Yes. Roxy and I killed her killer, and we vowed that the same thing wouldn’t happen again for as long as we could help it. Even now, people turn unwillingly, and we can’t stop it all. Like with Jade, and I’m guessing Karkat. I hope that girl we found- Latula, is alright.” Jake said, and he stopped talking. Dave didn’t know what to say to that, so he just sat in the car a little silently, and waited until he arrived at home.

___

While Dave sat awkwardly, Karkat and John were far more comfortable. They decided to finish failure to launch, and after another hour or so of the movie, it was over.

“Did you like it?” John asked, and Karkat nodded.

“Yeah, I can’t believe I haven’t seen it already. It was good. Do you think we have time for another?” Karkat asked, and John shrugged.

“I don’t know.”

“John, are you home?” A female voice called, and John stood up from his position to exit his room. “Oh, there you are!” Roxy said, and John grinned from atop the stairs.

“Yeah, Hi Roxy.” John said, and Roxy offered him a smirk.

“Hey, Johnny. By the way, I’m curious. Do you remember when we were on that trip a few months ago?”

“Yes. Why?”

“Do you remember who hacked into Karkat’s phone?” She asked, and Karkat appeared from behind John, answering the question.

“Yeah, it was a friend of mine. His name is Sollux, why?”

“No reason, he just did a good job. You didn’t know, right?” Roxy asked him, and Karkat shook his head.

“Nah, he’s pretty good. Plus, he’s kind of the guy to go to when you need a tech favor, but he won’t change grades too obviously.” Karkat said, and Roxy put a hand on her chin.

“Sollux Captor, huh? I’ve been chilling with this kid for months, and thought I should know something other than his Pesterchum username. Wow, okay. Well, that’s pretty cool.” Roxy said, then looked up at John. “Oh, and hey, Johnny. I have something for you, so you can use it tomorrow. But, you can’t turn it on until Dirk says it’s okay, alright?” Roxy said, and John hastily agreed.

“Sure, for whatever it is.”

“He’s in the car. I can get him out, if you want.” Roxy said, and John looked at her quizzically.

“He? Yeah, get him out please.” John said, rushing down the stairs. Roxy walked out to her vehicle, and opened the trunk. Within seconds, she had a familiar orange robot in her arms, and John watched as she carried the robot to John. “Oh, Davebot.” John said, and his voice dipped into a sad tone. Karkat looked a little alarmed, but John seemed okay. “Uh, can you put him in my room?” John asked, and Roxy nodded, then easily lifted him up the stairs.

Once he was safely in a corner, Roxy left the two boys alone, and Karkat looked at John in an attempt to gauge his emotions.

“You… okay, John?” Karkat asked, and John let out a long sigh.

“Yeah, I’m fine. I hope Jadebot turns out good. I can’t wait to see him all active again. I guess this means I’m training tomorrow.” John said, and Karkat nodded.

“Yeah, that should be fun, right?” Karkat asked, and John shrugged.

“I guess. So, I’ll train, shower, then get back in time to hang out with Damara.” John said, and Karkat nodded.

“Sounds like a plan, John. Good luck tomorrow.” Karkat said, and John sighed.

“Yeah, I hope it goes well.” John said. The two friends put in another movie, and eventually Karkat had to leave for the night. John promised he’d come to Karkat’s house next, and wished the boy a good evening as he headed off. When John returned to his room, he tried working on homework for a while, but found that he was distracted. He’d look up every ten seconds, see orange, and remember Davebot, before he realized those times were over. After the 50 th memory, John decided he’d walk over to the robot and see him.

He looked the same as he did before, minus the clothing. John sighed, and found the hoodie he modified for Davebot to wear. It had zippers, and John placed the item on his body and over his wings. After a second of thought, he moved the robot onto his bed so he could place the Jeans he always wore on his body too. With is shades, he almost looked alive and active again, but John knew the robot was off.

With a sigh, he laid himself next to the robot on his bed, and looked up at the ceiling. John’s thoughts raced a mile a minute, and he surprised himself when he spoke.

“I’m going on a date tomorrow.” He spoke, and received no response. Still, John wanted to update the robot on his day, like he used to. “The girl I’m going with is named Damara. She has long, dark hair, and I think she likes anime. Dave always acts kind of weird around her, but I don’t know why. But, she’s really pretty, along with being really nice, and I think she’s the list person.” John paused for a second.

For some reason, he felt oddly comfortable talking to the robot, even if he knew he couldn’t hear him. Still, he would be active again soon enough.

“Oh! I should explain the list. Well, earlier, Karkat was passing a note in class, and Mr. English caught it. It turned out to be a list of reasons why someone loves me. I ended up seeing it on his desk, by accident.  At first, I thought it was Karkat.” He said, giggling for a little. “That was a weird few days, but eventually, I found out it wasn’t. He said he was just editing it for someone, and I think that someone is Damara.” John said, a little smile on his face.

The boy took a breath.

“You know, I think you’d like her. Bro would probably like her. Oh, and Karkat’s going to ask out Jade! I’m looking forward to that happening. Also, we met this girl named Latula on a hunt. She got experimented on, but we freed her and killed all the people that were doing it to her. Well, they weren’t people, they were daemons. You get the point though. She’s actually Terezi’s sister. Terezi is a girl that goes to our school, and she’s friends with Dave. She’s really weird though, and I don’t know how to feel about her. It’s complicated, I guess, but I think she likes Dave.”

“Oh, and speaking of Dave, he’s been extra nice lately. Really, everyone has. Maybe he’s excited about you and Jadebot. I know you’ll like her, she’s going to be green. My friend from school, Equius, is working on her with Bro. I think you guys will be really cute together. Maybe you’ll go live on Jade’s island or something. You may scare people if you go out in public, but I think it would be funny.” John said, but the smile slowly faded from his face.

“You know… after you died, I didn’t really know what to think. I mean, I missed you. I still miss you. I don’t know if I still love you, or if that was just because you loved me. I don’t know why you deleted your memories, and those notes didn’t help. I only found one, but there’s probably more.” John said, and let out a long exhale. The robot still sat on the edge of his bed. John moved so that he’d be back to back with him.

“I miss you a lot. I liked kissing you. That was a lot of fun.” John said, and a smile grew on his face. “I miss hugging you too. And talking to you. I really liked it when you’d be the last person I’d see at night, or when I’d wake up and you’d be there. Plus, it was always fun when you’d kiss me during kind of risqué times. Like, Dave would be on the other side of the wall, and you would lean in! I mean, I know I acted a little upset about it, but I liked it a lot.” John’s face fell into a little half smile when he thought about it.

“Apparently, Dave knew for a lot of the time. Which is weird, but he seemed okay with it. I don’t know why you and Dave never really liked each other. I think I would like a robot John. I guess I don’t know though.” John said, and when he spoke again, his voice cracked. Instead of changing pitch, his voice just got quieter.

“I really miss you.” John said, and accidentally moved Davebot. With the small, and sudden movement, the orange robot’s hand fell atop John’s, and John hastily looked back at the robot. It still showed no signs of life, as expected, but a soft smile hit John’s face. He squeezed the robot’s soft hand, rested his head on his back, and closed his eyes.

__

JAFNF Chapter 82

(Saturday, April 3 rd )

That Saturday morning, John woke up and saw Davebot in the corner of his room first. He remembered what he’d do today, and grinned. So, once he got up and got ready for training, he hesitantly walked over to the robot. John eventually removed the unessesary clothing he added to the robot’s body, and after reaching up, he planted a kiss on its metallic cheek. The hunter hastily pulled away and went downstairs. Roxy handed him a muffin, and she looked more than ready to go. When she saw John, he offered her a good morning hug (tackle), and she accepted it with an ‘oof’ noise.

“Hey Johnny, you look excited.” She said, and John grinned.

“I am! We have training for the first time in forever, and I think I have a date today.” John said, and Roxy looked surprised. She grinned.

“Really? Congrats John! Do I know them?” Roxy asked, and to her surprise, John shook his head.

“No, she’s a girl that goes to my school named Damara. It’s at one, so I have to come directly home from training.” John said, and Roxy tried not to let her surprise show. Honestly, she expected it to be Dave, but decided against commenting.

“Congrats, Johnny. Be sure to be nice and have a good time. You know, Kanaya’s been teleporting to see Rose. I didn’t even know she could do that.” John’s grin didn’t waver when he heard the statement.

“I know, Rose really likes it. She’s really into Kanaya, and I’m glad that they got together.” John said, and stuffed half of the muffin in his mouth. While he ate, Roxy continued talking.

“Me too! Oh, and you’ll never guess what I did.” Roxy said, and John shrugged. He was still chewing, but Roxy took it as a sign to speak. “I got that guy’s pesterchum and told him he did a good job. I’m pretty sure I terrified the shit out of him. Still, when I tried getting into his computer and hacking his webcam, it took a while. By the time I did it, it was pretty late at night. I’m pretty sure he didn’t notice, but I’m going to prank him hard with it.” Roxy said, and John grinned.

“Can I get in on it? Dave said Sollux was just ignoring everyone the entire time we did that trip thing. Plus, I wanna do something for him, with April fools. Jade’s helping me with some people, and I have an extremely special one planned out for Dave, but I don’t know what I’ll do for Rose and Sollux.” John said, and Roxy’s eyes shone at the words.

“You want me to help you prank people?”

“Yes!” John said, and Roxy grinned.

“Oh, definitely. Now, if you’re done eating, we really should be leaving Johnny.” Roxy said, and John nodded, then stood up.

“I’m ready to go! I’ll just get Davebot, and we can go.” John got the robot, Roxy got in her car, and the two left.

__

While John trained, Karkat woke up. Ironically enough, he did it well after eight, but it hardly mattered, so long as he could make his ‘appointment’ in time. He was hanging out with Dave, and he wanted to milk as much cheesy romance as he could out of the day. He mentally checked off cliché after cliché, and the practice date he pulled together yesterday was a nice one for both of them. He still didn’t know how he’d ask out Jade, but he knew he needed to do it in person, and not make it too crazy.

So, when he found that his Pesterchum notification shone olive green, a little darker than Jade’s, he wasn’t sure exactly what to do. He already guessed who it was- Nepeta, but he almost felt bad about reading it. After all, the boy had been aware of Nepeta’s interests towards him for a while. He wasn’t blind or dumb, and she successfully made it obvious. The issue was that he didn’t feel the same. Now, Karkat didn’t want to seem cold or anything.  After all, he still valued her as a fantastic friend and a fellow shipper, but he just wasn’t into her like that. Plus, he was always pretty sure he’d end up upsetting her. For one thing, she didn’t know he was a vampire, nor did she know about the subject’s extremely real effects on his life.

Another issue was the fact that he wasn’t the nicest person. Alright, that may have been an understatement. Karkat was an easily angered douche bag, and he knew it. The vampire preferred yelling to talking, and he’d probably do it 24/7 if it wasn’t for people like Nepeta and John. He wasn’t sure exactly how, but the boy was always able to make him a little calmer. He didn’t even have to attempt to tone down his swears around the boy, he just did it.

With Nepeta however, the opposite was true. She was far too nice a person for him to be so mean to. The issue wasn’t that others would hold it against him if he was rude to her. No, if that was the only problem, he probably wouldn’t care much. But Nepeta would never hold his rudeness against him, even if it honestly upset her. She was one of those people that would only return sweetness for his absolutely douche bag like behavior, and the guilt would kill him. So, he actively worked to be kinder to her, because he honestly felt like she deserved it. The only issue was, he couldn’t bring himself to stop, and she’d definitely developed some feelings for him because of it. So, he couldn’t be mean to her, and that only meant he could be nice.

The vampire waited in dread for the day that she confessed, because at the end of the day, he didn’t want to accept. Now, he couldn’t be indirectly guilted into accepting, but he still dreaded having to say no. He knew that he could learn to like dating her, if seeing her as a friend was the only problem, but it wasn’t. Being around Nepeta meant bringing a constant act into play, and that was definitely relationship poison. Still, he valued her too much as a person and as a long time friend to just cut it off, and he still liked being around her. Plus, finding another person to ship with wasn’t easy, and he really enjoyed being able to talk about that.

Jade was different though. He could be the mean, horrible person he naturally was around her, and she didn’t mind. In fact, it only fueled their interactions. She was still someone he could talk shipping with, be honest with, and not put up some pretense of kindness around. So of course, he liked her. She wasn’t someone like John, or even Terezi, that naturally made him nicer. He could be his awful self around Jade, and she would even make it fun for him. Of course, he expected himself to want to do something nice for her, and maybe they’d have their ridiculously gushy moments that way, but they didn’t have to. That’s what made him like her. He still didn’t know if being mean to him was just an act, or what, but she seemed to genuinely enjoy pushing his buttons. Why she couldn’t do this with everyone else, he didn’t know, but he enjoyed feeling special. He hoped it wasn’t a similar situation with Jade like it was with him and Nepeta, from Jade’s perspective. But, speaking of her, she texted him and he needed to respond.

Arsenic Catnip (AC) began pestering carcinoGeneticist (CG).

AC:      :33 < hello Karkitty!

AC:      :33 < I had a question furr you

AC:      :33 < But I guess I’ll wait til you’re up!

AC:      :33 < Enjoy your cat nap!

Arsenic Catnip (AC) ceased pestering carcinoGeneticist (CG).

Shit, he’d missed her. Well, whatever question she had for him definitely didn’t make Karkat any less nervous, but he decided he’d face the music. Besides, it probably wasn’t what he was thinking she’d ask. At least, he hoped it wasn’t.

carcinoGeneticist (CG) began pestering Arsenic Catnip (AC).

CG: HEY, NEPETA

CG: SORRY, BUT I’M UP.

CG: SO, WHAT’S UP?

AC:      :33 < Karkitty!

AC:      :33 < Good morning, how did you sleep?

CG: PRETTY WELL, WHAT ABOUT YOU?

AC:      :33 < Fantastic!!

AC:      :33 < Oh, but I had a question.

CG: YEAH?

AC:      :33 < Tavros and I were wondering if you and Jade wanted to hang out with us.

AC:      :33 < In a double date kind of way!

Karkat blinked at that. Had he read that correctly? Apparently, after reading over it twice, it was true. Not only did Nepeta move on, but she actually wanted to help him with Jade, and she was dating Tavros? He didn’t even have to fake his happiness and relief. That took a lot of looming pressures off his shoulder, some of which had been building up for months.

CG: NO KIDDING?

CG: I WOULD LOVE TO.

AC:      :33 < Yay!

AC:      :33 < This is going to be so much fun!

AC:      :33 < We wanted to try roller skating, but we’re up for other suggestions.

CG: NO, SOUNDS PERFECT.

CG: THANKS, NEPETA. DOES JADE KNOW ALREADY?

AC:      :33 < Tavros was going to tell her.

CG: GREAT. WHEN IS IT?

AC:      :33 < In a week, since Jade’s been supurr busy analyzing something.

AC:      :33 < So… Saturday, the 10th!

CG: ALRIGHT, IT’S A DATE.

AC:      :33 < T33 h33, it is!

AC:      :33 < Oh, one second, big sis wants me to go get ready.

AC:      :33 < I n33d to go

CG: THAT’S ALRIGHT, THANKS.

CG: SEE YOU!

AC:      :33 < S33 you too!!

Arsenic Catnip (AC) ceased pestering carcinoGeneticist (CG).

Karkat put his phone down, and a smile hit his face. First, Nepeta found a boyfriend, and it was someone just as nice as her. The vampire was happy enough about that, but with the additional bonus of finally being able to ask out Jade, and with Nepeta there as a supportive soundboard, he honestly couldn’t be more excited. Now, all he had to do was worry about Damara, and he was sure that issue would solve itself somehow. With a significantly more upbeat attitude, Karkat decided he’d get breakfast before getting ready, and ran into his mother.  He greeted her normally, and she looked surprised.

“Well, good morning to you too! What has you so upbeat?” She asked, and Kankri walked in behind him.

“Trigger warnings, embarrassment, significant others. Good morning mother, and Karkat. Also, it’s obvious- you have a girlfriend, right?” Kankri asked, and Karkat looked down.

“No, shut up, asshole!” He said, and His mother made a cooing noise.

“Aww, Karkat, congratulations!” She said, and Karkat looked up at Kankri’s smug expression.

“I fucking hate you.” He said, but his words lacked their usual sting. “And I don’t have a girlfriend!” He shouted, but Kankri, for once, paid the words no mind. Instead, his older brother instincts kicked in.

“Hm, then explain why you’re in such a good mood? I know you Karkat, you should have at least used ten curse words by this time of morning, and that’s with your filter on. So, what’s happening?” He asked, preparing some coffee for himself. Karkat fought off the blush on his face as he answered his brother.

“I told you, I don’t have a girlfriend. I just ended up on a date with her?” He said, and his mom, who he’d forgotten was listening, broke in.

“Oh honey, I’m so proud!” She said, and a smile hit her green eyes. “I just can’t wait to tell your father-” Before Karkat could wildly scream at her to not do that, his father walked in, as if on cue.

“Tell me what?” The preacher asked, and Karkat glared at Kankri venomously.

“Oh, out little Karkat finally found love again!” His mother said, and Karkat put his hands over his eyes- so much for his good mood. Karkat’s father scratched his stubble.

“Really? Is it that redheaded girl again?” His voice boomed, and Karkat’s cheeks turned pink.

“No, it’s not Terezi!” He said, and Karkat’s father looked at him curiously.

“Do I know them?” He asked, and Karkat shook his head.

“No, her name is Jade.” Karkat said, and Kankri looked up in surprise.

“Oh, so I was right about you and Jade Harley? That’s quite an accomplishment, she’s a respectable young woman. You’d like her, father.” Kankri said. “But how did you get her to agree to a date if she doesn’t live here?” He asked, and Karkat crossed his arms.

“Well, she’s my biology teacher’s niece, so she ended up living with him. She said she was tired of living on her island, so she decided to move down here with him. He technically had legal custody over her anyway.” Karkat said, and rolled his eyes. “Now that you know, can you not ask me about it?” He asked, and the three other members of his house all looked at each other before answering.

“No.” his mom said, triggering the responses of his brother and father respectively.

“Absolutely not, Karkat.”

“Not until I meet her.” His father said, and Karkat slapped his forehead, mumbling something along the lines of ‘of course’.

“In fact,” Kankri said, speaking up. “I wrote something about this fairly recently on my tumblr, if you’d like to read it. I doubt it would be too troubling to find, since I used copius hashtags to improve manuverablitlity, and I’m positive it will help you before your big date.” He said, and Karkat let out a sigh.

“No thanks, Kankri. I think I’m just going to go for it-”

“No way! We’re all totally helping you with this!” His mom butted in, and Karkat looked around desperately for a distraction of some sort. His eyes landed on a clock. It read 10:45, and Karkat sighed in relief.

“Well, I would love to stay and chat, but I actually have to be somewhere by twelve, which means I need to be ready. So, excuse me, but I have to go.” He said, even going as far as to omit curse words in order to stifle an upcoming social justice rant from Kankri. His father, surprisingly, was the one who understood.

“Oh, I see. Well, you don’t want to be late, we can talk about it some other time. Congratulations Karkat.” He said, and Karkat looked up at his father, appreciation clear on his face.

“Thanks, see you.” He said, and quickly made his way up the stairs. After getting ready, he still had a little time to kill before he actually had to go see Dave, but until then, he knew he couldn’t go downstairs. That was a warzone of awkward conversations waiting to happen. So, he sat around in his room, and decided he’d text Dave.

carcinoGeneticist (CG) began pestering Turntech Godhead (TG).

CG: HEY, STRIDER, WE STILL ON FOR TODAY?

TG: Sure. John Just told me he was getting back from training.

CG: GREAT.

CG: ALSO, I’M GOING ON A DATE WITH JADE ON THE 26 TH .

TG: Woah, what?

TG: Congrats dude, when did you ask?

TG: She’s been in my basement since last night.

TG: Wait shit, she’s been in my basement since Thursday morning I’m going to go make sure she’s okay.

CG: SHE’S STAYED IN A BASEMENT WITH NO EXPOSURE TO SUNLIGHT FOR AT LEAST 24 HOURS?

TG: I don’t think she slept. I mean, maybe.

TG: If she did, it was on a cold laboratory floor.

TG: Okay, tell me when you asked her when you get over here, I’m going to make sure she’s not dead.

CG: ALRIGHT, SEE YOU.

carcinoGeneticist (CG) ceased pestering Turntech Godhead (TG).

When Dave arrived downstairs, at what came to be known as Jade’s laboratory, he hesitantly knocked on the door.

“Uh, Jade? You okay?” He asked, and she accidentally yelled her response back.

“Dave! One minute, I just need to get this last part!” She said, and Dave shrugged, then waited. After ten minutes passed, she opened the door. Her hair was even messier than usual, and she had gigantic bags over her eyes, but her voice was as chipper as always. “Hi Dave, did you need something?” She asked, and Dave raised an eyebrow at the werewolf.

“More like you need something, when was the last time you slept? Hold on, what day do you think it is?” He asked, and Jade blinked, then thought about it.

“Hm, it’s Thursday, right? Or maybe, like, 1 am on Friday? I know I’ve been down here for a few hours.” She said, and Dave’s eyebrows raised.

“Harley, it’s Saturday.” She blinked for a second, uncomprehending, before she looked at him.

“Wait, what? You’re messing with me, right?” She asked, but Dave shook his head.

“Uh, no. You completely and unironically pulled two all nighters in my basement. Have you eaten at all, or slept?”

“Nope.”

“Was it worth it?”

“Yep.” She said, and yawned. “Hm, I guess I am kinda hungry, but also tired? I should go home, I just got some of this stuff done.” Dave smirked.

“Good idea.” With that, she walked back into the lab, washed her hands, and put the necessary things away. Once she left the tiled room, she followed Dave up the stairs to the main level of their home. “Hey, did you want to eat something? We have a ton of pizza, like always.” Dave said, but Jade shook her head.

“Thanks Dave, but that’s a little greasy. I don’t think it’s a good idea right now, but I’ll eat something when I get home.” She said, but when she spoke, she didn’t face Dave. Dave shrugged, but decided that she may be right. She walked over to the door and Dave noticed her struggling with the knob.

“Uh, are you okay Harley?” Dave asked, feeling a little concerned at this point. She looked back at him.

“Of course!” She answered, but Dave started to doubt her words. Eventually, she got the door open, and smiled triumphantly. “See, I’m fine.” She said. The girl went out to the driveway and expanded her green scooter thing, then tried to sit on it. Dave watched her, and it took her two tries, but she did it.

“Jade, I don’t know if you can drive right now.”

“Of course I can!” She said, and put her foot on the gas. “I’m fine Dave, quit babying me.” She added, and Dave looked at her, trying to tell how okay she really was.

“Are you sure? If you need a ride, or just somewhere to sleep, my house is right here. I don’t mind.” Dave said, and Jade shook her head just a few too many times.

“Dave, I’ll be fine, the ride isn’t that long. Now, if you’ll excuse me,” she paused, and yawned. “Sorry. But if you’ll excuse me, I’m going home.” She said, and her voice made it sound final. Dave looked at her skeptically, but eventually relented.

“Fine, call me when you get there or something, okay?” He said, and she rolled her eyes.

“Yeah yeah, Dave.” She yawned again, and the girl began to drive away. Dave watched her go, and eventually, he went inside.

He never got that call.

_______________________________

AN: DUN DUN DUNNN


	22. Chapter 22

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 696-812  
> 83-96

JAFNF Chapter 83   
(Saturday, April 3rd)   
Eventually, Karkat decided he would complete the drive to Dave’s house. So, after making sure he was ready to go, he set out to leave. The ride was boring, but he didn’t mind. As he got closer to Dave’s house, he noticed a person in a moped on a bike path. Karkat sat, waiting to make a U turn, and got the opportunity to look at the girl in boredom. He noticed, after a few minutes, that she wasn’t moving. Curiously, he looked at the girl more intensely, and her long, black hair seemed familiar. When he thought about it, he swore he’d seen her vehicle somewhere too.   
For whatever reason, Karkat decided that he’d look at her blood signature. To his surprise, it was familiar, green, and it screamed Jade. Now, Karkat grew curious. He had no idea why she was sitting on the street like that, but a few people on bikes passed by her. So, after glancing at the clock, he decided he could pull into a nearby neighborhood and make sure she was okay.   
Once he pulled in, then parked relatively close to someone’s driveway, Karkat exited his car and looked at the girl. Then, he heard it- it was a loud snore. Karkat looked at her, disbelieving, until she did it again, and again. With surprise clear on his features, he came to look at Jade’s front, and found that his suspicions were true. The girl sat, fast asleep atop her still powered green moped. Karkat said her name, but she didn’t respond. Jade didn’t notice him, and instead continued to sleep upright, blissfully unaware that anything was wrong.    
Karkat took a glance at her. It was very, very clear that she couldn’t drive at this rate. The vampire sighed, and he knew what he had to do. He immediately got around to her front and turned off the green vehicle. He looked around on top of it, searching for the button Jade said would make it collapse into a small, uranium-powered cube.    
Once he found it and pressed the switch, the bike folded up almost instantly, meaning that Karkat had to jump to catch Jade. He was positive people thought he was either crazy, kidnapping her, or both, but no one stopped him. So, after a quick, deep breath, he lifted Jade and took her to his unlocked car. After thinking for a second, he placed the girl as delicately as possible in his backseat, then looked back to her compressed moped.   
Karkat thought he’d pick up the cube and leave. After all, he noticed Jade walk with it in one hand, and with ease.  Of course, the vampire always failed to remember that she was a werewolf, making her limbs significantly stronger than the average human or vampire. So, when he tried to lift it, he could barely make it move. After trying for a few seconds, he stopped, and took a deep breath, then tensed his arm muscles. He bent using his knees, and attempted to carry the heavy object.   
With a few more tries and more than a few more curses, he eventually got the heavy cube over to his car, and sighed with relief when he put the item down. Why Dave even let her out of the house like this was a mystery to him, but he couldn’t have known this was what she’d do. After making sure she was secure, Karkat got back into the driver’s seat and drove away. He hoped the cops wouldn’t be arriving any time soon. Now, there was another issue- he didn’t know where to go. Karkat had no idea where his English teacher’s house was, so he ended up just continuing his planned drive to Dave’s house.  After a few minutes of driving, he arrived fifteen minutes late, but hopefully his excuse was acceptable. Dirk answered the door, and had his cell phone on his ear. The man looked worried, and even with is glasses on, Karkat could tell that he was upset.   
“Hold on Jake, someone is at the door.” Dirk said, then looked down when he found out who it was. “Oh, Karkat.  That’s right, you were coming over. Sorry to do this, but Dave’s out- we kind of have a situation. Jade definitely should have been home by now, but Jake says she’s not there. She just left our house, and we know she hasn’t slept in days. Dave’s out looking for her.” Dirk said, and Karkat let out a sigh.   
“She’s in the backseat of my car, can you help carry her in? She’s sleeping.” Karkat said, and Dirk looked at him in surprise.   
“How? What happened?” He asked, and Karkat just opened the back door in response, then found the sleeping girl. Dirk easily picked her up and walked to his couch, then laid the girl on it. “Yeah, Jake? We’ve got Jade, she was asleep.” Dirk said, and he sighed. “I don’t know, Karkat showed up with her in his car. Yeah.” He paused for a second. “Right, mind explaining this?”   
“I found her asleep while sitting upright on her scooter in the bike lane on the road. Even with the traffic, she was just snoring and sitting on her scooter, and it was still on. So, I parked and brought her back to my car, along with her moped thing. I don’t know where her house is, so I brought her back here. ” Karkat said, and Dirk raised his eyebrows.   
“She was asleep in the middle of the road? That’s so dangerous, and how did she even stay asleep?”   
“I have no idea. I mean, she’s a heavy sleeper- but damn. Don’t let a person on the road if they haven’t slept for two days.” Karkat said, and Dirk listened to Jake for a second, before nodding, and removing his glasses. For the first time, his orange eyes met Karkat’s rusty red/ brown ones.    
“Karkat, from me, Jake, and probably Dave, thank you. She would have just been out there if it weren’t for you. I know Dave probably would have found her eventually, but still. Thank you so much for making sure she’s safe.” He said, and Karkat’s eyes got wide, before he blew off the praise.   
“No need to thank me, anyone would have done it. It’s really no problem.”   
“Yes, there is. Thank you for bringing her back, Karkat. You were there for her when we couldn’t be. Thank you.” He said, and Karkat swallowed.   
“You’re… welcome. I’d do it again in a heartbeat.” An honest smile sprang from Dirk’s lips then.    
“Thanks.” He said, then spoke into the phone again. “Yeah, Jake? Let me call Dave and let him know she’s okay.” He said, and relief was clear on his features. “You too.” He hung up, then quickly typed in another number. “Dave, Jade is okay. She’s here, along with Karkat. You can come back. I’ll explain when you get here.” He said, and after he listened for a second, he hung up. Dirk eventually put his sunglasses on and wafted over to Jade. Another 15 minutes later, Dave arrived.   
“Where is she?” He asked, and Dirk pointed to the sleeping girl on the couch. “Okay, good. When did she come back?”    
“Karkat brought her, she was asleep in the middle of the road.” Dirk said, and Dave looked at his friend.   
“Really?”    
“Yeah, She probably thought she could make it home, but couldn’t. She was just sitting there, on her scooter, completely asleep. Don’t ask me how she did it, but I brought her back here.”   
“Was she asleep the whole time?” Dave asked, and Karkat nodded. “So, you carried her? That’s a lot Karkat, thank you. I was so worried- I’m sorry for letting her go out like that.”   
“Wait, you let her go?” Dirk asked, but before he did, he received another knock on the front door. After answering, he found it was Jake, and let him in. Dirk looked at him with a glare, despite the interruption, and Dave sighed. He felt guilty as heck over it, but it wasn’t like he could undo what he did.   
“I did. She said she was okay, and that the drive was short, but I didn’t think she’d do something like this. I’m really sorry.” Dave said, looking down. His voice got somber, and Karkat could tell he was upset. “She could have died-”   
“Ah, cheer up Dave, everything turned out alright.” Jake said, putting a hand on the boy’s shoulder, but Dirk turned towards his boyfriend, unusually upset.    
“No, he should not cheer up! He should have known not to let someone on the road after two days of no sleep.” Dirk said, his voice growing irritable. Karkat was used to exchanges like this, and just stood silently, but Jake looked at Dirk with an expression that said he was both surprised and upset by the man.   
“Dirk, if anyone should be held responsible, it’s Jade. She told Dave she was fine, and somehow managed to reassure him. It’s not his fault.” He said, and Dave looked at the two in surprise. Dirk’s heated glare, hidden by his sunglasses, turned on Jake.   
“You don’t get it, Jake. She was placed under our supervision, and Dave just let her go out there like that! It was clear judgments call that he should not have let her out. It’s both my and Dave’s fault, she probably thought she’d be okay. What would have happened if Karkat wasn’t there?” Dirk said, and as he mentioned the boy’s name, his gaze fell on him. Jake noticed the boy’s presence and his eyes narrowed.    
“We’ll… discuss this later. Now, if it isn’t Karkat, our hero of the hour. Thank you for keeping Jade safe. Words can’t describe how grateful we are.” Jake said, and Karkat put a hand behind his back, feeling a little awkward at the positive attention directed towards him.    
“You’re welcome.” He said, and despite the fact that he was still upset, the teacher offered him a grateful smile. He looked down towards Jade. “Now, why didn’t she wake up?” He asked, and Dirk frowned.   
“Probably because she hasn’t slept for two days.” Dirk commented, and Jake responded with his own frown.   
“Then I suppose we’ll feed her once she wakes up. She’s probably going to be very dehydrated.” Jake said, and frowned. “I wish we could at least give her some water. It has been a few days since I’ve last seen her.”   
“Do you want to try waking her up?” Dirk asked, placing a hand on her forehead. “I don’t want her to get a fever.” He said, and Jake sighed.    
“I guess we have to.” He said, and Dave went off to the kitchen to get water for the girl. “Jade? You have to wake up for a minute.” He called, his voice unusually soft. It sounded pleasant with his British accent, but all Jade did was release another snore. Dirk decided he’d try.   
“Jade, you have to wake up.” He said, raising his voice. It was loud, but Jade made no visible response. They tried tapping her, yelling, playing air horn sounds from their phones, and scratching her head. None of these worked, and the head scratching seemed to make her sleep more peacefully.   
“Can I give it a try?” Karkat asked, and the rest of the people shrugged. It couldn’t hurt. So, he spoke, in his usual, slightly shouting tone of voice and attempted to wake her. “Wow, sleeping beauty still won’t wake the fuck up. No surprise there.” He said, and though her eyes stayed closed, she groaned in frustration.   
“Ugh, shut up Karkat.” She said, and despite the fact that she was still half-asleep, the other people in the room looked at him in surprise. From there, Dave quickly went up to Jade and forced her all the way awake. “Dave? What’s going on, I thought Karkat-” She said, while Jake continued to gape at him in shock.   
“How in blazes did you do that?” He asked, and Karkat shrugged.   
“No idea.” He said, and Dave offered her the water.   
“Here Harley, drink this, and you can go back to sleep.” He said, and Jade did it. After draining the cup, she yawned and looked up at the people surrounding her tiredly.    
“What’s going on?” She asked, and Dirk spoke up.   
“I’m glad you’re okay, you fell asleep in the road.”   
“Huh? I don’t remember how I got here, Dirk-” She cut herself off with another yawn.   
“Actually Jade, Karkat brought you.” Jake said, and a frown hit her face.   
“Really?” She asked, and Karkat smirked at her.   
“Mhm, you were really asleep. How do you carry that scooter of yours around anyway?” He asked, and she offered him a tired smile.   
“Magic, thanks Karkat. And don’t call me sleeping beauty!” She said defiantly. He rolled his eyes.   
“Sure. Go back to sleep, Jade.” He said, and with a tired nod, she did. The adults watched the exchange with mixed expressions, and Karkat stood up from where he kneeled beside her. He looked back at the three other males in the room with an impassive expression, but it grew surprised when he saw their faces. Karkat couldn’t really read their emotions, but for the most part, Dirk and Jake looked almost… impressed, while Dave remained impassive. “Anyway, she’s going to be okay, right?” He said, and Jake nodded.   
“Most likely. She’s just tuckered out right now, no need to be worried.” Jake spoke, and his English accent came out in his words. “But if you came over to hang out, Karkat, I’m sure you still can.” Karkat looked at Jade in concern.   
“Are you sure? If you guys need to look over her, I can reschedule.” Dirk spoke up after that.   
“Nah, it’s cool Karkat. You and Dave go have fun.” He said, and Karkat looked at Dave. The boy shrugged, and wordlessly, started walking towards his room. Karkat took that as his cue to follow and walked after the boy. Once they reached the confines of Dave’s room, he looked at Karkat.   
“Dude, I think you just nailed meet the parents.” He said, and Karkat looked at him.   
“Strider, what the fuck. Also, she doesn’t have parents, they died.”   
“Maybe, but you just made a great impression on her family. Nice Job. Also, thanks for saving her out there.” Karkat rolled his eyes.   
“You make it sound like a gigantic fucking deal, there was no high speed car chase happening. She looked fine, but asleep. Anyway though, time to move on. You know what John’s doing in..” He looked down at his crab themed watch. “Twenty minutes, right?” He asked, and Dave shrugged.   
“Yeah, he’s going on his date with Damara. So what?” He asked, and Karkat smirked.   
“Well, we are too.” He said, and as he said it, a glint flashed in the vampire’s eye, and Dave knew he was in for a lot of drama.    
___   
AN: Karkat’s the hero! I just needed a chapter with parental approval, sorry for taking the focus off Dave and John for a bit. Don’t worry though, we’ll  get right back into it next chapter.

JAFNF Chapter 84

(Saturday, April 3 rd )

When John finally arrived at home, he flew to his room in a rush to shower. He was sweaty, and made Davebot walk itself up the stairs before using the voice command to shut him down. He went to a corner of John’s room and stood at attention, before powering off. After that was taken care of, John quickly did a full body shower, and exited feeling fresh. As he dried himself, he passed by his face in the mirror and realized he would have to do something to his hair, for once. Usually, he just woke up and rolled with it, but that wasn’t an option today. So, as he struggled to run a comb through his hair, more thoughts appeared in his head- he had no idea what to wear.

Once the realization struck, he panicked, then forced himself to calm down. Freaking out wouldn’t help the situation, and he still had well over an hour before he had to go meet Damara, and even then, he’d be early. So, he decided he’d brush his teeth first, then look for clothing and handle his hair last. After finishing the first step, he realized he was at a loss for what to do. So, after much deliberation, he pulled on basic underclothing, along with a robe and called for Roxy.

A few minutes later, his dad appeared at his door.

“Oh, hi Dad.”

“Hi, I heard you ask for Roxy, but she had to step out. Is everything alright?” He asked, and John considered lying, but he was desperate.

“I’m fine, I just needed some advice on what to wear.”

“For what?”

“A… date, I guess? I mean, I didn’t exactly phrase it like that, but-” A wide smile broke out on his father’s face, and his eyes shone with fatherly pride.

“John, you’re going on a date, and you need help with what to wear? Fantastic, I’ll offer my help. Trust me, Dave- I mean, they’ll like it.” He said, and looked at his son. “I’m so proud of you. So, who’s the lucky person?”

“I’m going to see a girl in my class for thank you coffee. Her name is Damara.” His father looked surprised.

“Hm, Damara? Well, that’s a lovely name. She seems nice, but don’t worry, you’ll impress her today. Let’s see what we have in here.” He said, and quickly looked in the boy’s closet. “Well, you have this suit.”

“Isn’t that a little formal?” John asked, and his father shrugged, but continued looking.

“Hm, this polo shirt would look nice on you, if you could fit in it.” John looked in the closet curiously, but when he saw what his father pointed at, he frowned.

“Uh, it looks a little small.” He said, and his father nodded.

“Right. Okay, what about this?” His father asked, pulling out a dress shirt and pants. John studied it and shrugged.

“Isn’t that what you’re wearing?” John asked, and his father looked down at himself. With a blush, he realized he was right.

“Okay, fine. Here, try a jacket and a white T- Shirt.” He said, giving he items to John. The boy looked down at the clothing.

“Okay.” He said, and started to put it on. John’s father stopped him with waving arms.

“Wait, wait! You didn’t even iron it!” He called, and John looked up, surprised.

“Why, do I have to? I don’t see any wrinkles.” He said, and John’s father shook his head.

“Ah, John, that’s not the point. You should do it, just because.” He said, and John frowned.

“But why?”

“Because, you need to look like you put extra time into your appearance so she knows this is important to you.” Jacob said, and John sighed.

“Fine.” He said, taking the clothing, along with a pair of pants. “Thanks, dad.” He said, and the man offered him a reassuring smile.

“Of course, good luck John.” He said, but put a hand on his chin. “Hey, did you tell Dave about this?” He asked, and John blinked.

“Uh, Yes? Why?”

“Well, he’s your best friend. How did he take the news?”

“Fine, I guess. I don’t know, was he supposed to act a certain way?”

“No, of course he didn’t have to act a certain way, I was just wondering.” His father said, then clapped his son on the back. “I’m very proud of you, enjoy your date.”

“It wasn’t exactly phrased that way, I told her it was ‘thank you’ coffee. But, I sure hope it is. Anyway, I’ll go do my clothes now.” John said, and his father left him to finish getting ready. Once he was finally done, it was around twelve fifteen, and John decided it was best to head out. He sent Dave and Karkat quick texts, telling them he was going out, and left.  

\-----------

After some convincing, pleading, and eyebrow raising, Dave found himself in Karkat’s car, equipped with newspapers and a list of romantic clichés to check off.

“You won’t regret this.” Karkat said, an excited smile gracing his face. Dave just sighed.

“I already am.” Dave said, and sighed. “You really think he won’t catch us?”

“Of course not! Trust me, this is going to be fine. Plus, you’ll know what he’s like on dates, right? And you can see if he’s into her or not.” Karkat added. “Anyway, it looks like he’s already there. I think I’ve been to the shop. I’m driving, so tell me if his blood signature is near where we’re going, okay?” Karkat said, and Dave shrugged.

“Fine. I still think he’s going to catch us though.”

“Then we’ll make something up, it’s not that hard. Come on, Dave.” He said, and the quote unquote knight of the hour began to drive towards the coffee business.

\---

Upon his arrival, around 30 minutes early, John decided he would get a seat and wait before ordering. He wished Dave was there to offer him a little more advice, or at least make him less nervous. Karkat would be good for it too. That fake date thing really helped him, and he appreciated his friends’ efforts to help him out. He would have to return the favor. John was already thinking about doing something for Karkat and Jade, but he had no idea how to help out Dave. The boy put up some valid concerns, one of the most prevalent being that he had to hide his vampire side from whomever he was dating. While Karkat had practice with this, Dave knew he wasn’t the greatest with concealing it. In addition, one slip up could have ruined things for him.

So, John had to find someone for Dave that A, wouldn’t care about his vampire side and could be trusted with it, or B, already knew. The amount of single females in their age group that knew about him was decreasing drastically. Terezi could probably be trusted with it, considering that her sister now had a part in this as well, but he wasn’t necessarily sure. John knew her a little, and he always felt confused by her presence. She was a little awkward, and something about the girl made him scared that she’d lick him. Plus, she’d been interesting, back when he dated Vriska. Well, he didn’t want to think about that. Still, Terezi was close to Dave, as far as he knew, and the best contender for a significant other for his best friend.

Then again, Dave never seemed very interested in dating. Whenever John asked, he’d always revert the subject back to his or Karkat’s romantic lives, or something else entirely. John honestly doubted that Dave’s weeklong relationship with Jade when they were thirteen would affect him to the point where he could not date anyone, but he could never be sure. He decided that Dave was his new relationship-making goal, provided that he took care of his own love life too.

Speaking of his own love life, he was excited for Damara to arrive, but also a little nervous. He hoped she would enjoy today. John was tempted to look down at his phone and text her, but he was patient. So, he sat and twiddled his thumbs for a while, then looked down at his phone. He received at least two new texts, and both were from Dave.

Turntech Godhead (TG) began pestering Ecto Biologist (EB).

TG: Hey, John.

TG: If you get a text from Jade let me know, she’s missing.

John looked down, and it seemed as if the next few appeared later.

TG: Wait nevermind she’s fine

TG: Well she wasn’t but Karkat found her and saved her, so

TG: That’s right, you have your thing today too, good luck.

Turntech Godhead (TG) ceased pestering Ecto Biologist (EB).

John looked down at the words in surprise, and he wanted details.

Ecto Biologist (EB) began pestering Turntech Godhead (TG).

EB: Dave!

EB: I’m glad everything is alright, and thanks

EB: What happened? I’m at the shop, but I came super early and Damara’s not here yet.

TG: Oh, hey Egdork

TG: Jade fell asleep in the middle of the road.

TG: Karkat found her and carried her back to my house

EB: Woah, What?!!

TG: Well, he carried her to his car and brought her back.

TG: Still, pretty good.

EB: Yeah, that’s awesome. Is Jade okay?

TG: Yeah, she was asleep the whole time but we told her. She’s still asleep now and I’m hanging out with Karkat.

EB: Oh cool, sounds fun. I’m glad she’s alright.

TG: Yeah, me too. Karkat may have just gained the ultimate parental approval too, so you know, that’s good.

EB: Oh yeah! Hold on, wait, if you’re hanging out with Karkat why are you texting me?

TG: Because you texted me. I like talking to you, and he’s in the bathroom.

EB: Oh okay. But don’t ditch Karkat for me. He’s like, a hero or something

TG: Jake called him the ‘knight of the hour’.

EB: Jake?

EB: You call Mr. English Jake now? That’s cool.

TG: Eh, only on a personal basis, not really at school. I just see him all the time.

EB: Hm, okay. I guess I still call Roxy… Roxy.

TG: Everyone calls her Roxy. She won’t let you call her Ms. Lalonde, I tried once.

EB: That’s true.

EB: I can’t wait until Damara gets here, but I’m so nervous

TG: Why? Just talk to her like you talked to me.

EB: But I wasn’t actually on a date with you. That was just practice, and yesterday! It’s just nerves I guess.

EB: I want her to like me.

TG: She already does.

TG: I mean, she wouldn’t have bought you that pizza if she didn’t right?

EB: Yeah, you’re right. Wish me good luck.

TG: Okay, Karkat’s out of the bathroom now, good luck Egdork.

EB: Thanks, bye Dave! :B

Ecto Biologist (EB) ceased pestering Turntech Godhead (TG).

John put down the phone and looked up. Damara still hadn’t arrived. He looked down again at the semi- full restaurant and waited. He felt significantly less nervous, and now all he really wanted was for her to arrive, so their date could start.

\---

When Dave and Karkat arrived at the shop, they decided to take an outside table. That way, they could watch John and Damara, and remain unnoticed. As Dave took his seat across from Karkat, he looked inside the clear windows and saw John sitting alone.

“Perfect. Okay, do you think they’ll kiss?” Karkat asked, and Dave shook his head.

“Nah, she already knows about our agreement, I doubt it. Still, I hope they have a nice time.” Dave said, and his head turned as a familiar head of long hair passed them and went inside. Karkat noticed too.

“She’s here, and she’s early. Let the date begin, John.” Karkat muttered, and it did.

________________________--------

John looked up from his phone when the door opened, and a grin sat on his face. Damara stood there in a modest, red and black dress that complemented her. She let her hair down for the first time since John had seen her, and looked around.

“Damara!” John said, causing her to turn towards him. She smiled nervously and walked up to the boy. “Hi! You look nice!” He said as she sat down, and she looked a little nervous, but her next words were genuine.

“Hey, you too. Thanks for this thank you coffee thing again.” She said, and John gave her his slightly bucktoothed smile.

“It’s my pleasure. Want to get something?” He offered, and she nodded, then they both went to stand in line.  When it was finally their turn, she ended up getting some sort of black tea, and he got some version of a frappe. As they sat, John looked at her choice in surprise. “You like tea?” He asked, and she nodded.

“Yeah, I drink it more often than coffee. I don’t know, I’ve never really been into coffee that much, but I’ve always liked tea.” She said, and John put his straw down for a second.

“Really? Wow, I can’t say I’m a tea person. It’s always been coffee, or just some other drink, like this.” John said, and she raised an eyebrow.

“What is it?” She asked, looking at it. John looked down at the cup.

“It’s a mocha frappe, and I think it tastes nice. It’s like chocolate and coffee, but cold, and with whipped cream on top.” He explained, and she shrugged.

“Hm, I’ve never had cold coffee. Maybe I’ll try it some other time.” She said, and John offered her a nervous glance.

“If you want, we could maybe do something like this in the future?” He asked, willing himself not to stutter. She smiled, but it had an undertone of sadness.

“Of course John, I’d love to.” She said, and he looked confused for a second, but nodded.

“Great. Oh yeah, I watched some of that show you recommended.”

“Which one?” Damara asked, and he put a hand on his head.

“Uh, it was the one about eating souls, with the girl with the pigtails, and the scythe guy that had white hair?”

“Oh,  _ Soul Eater _ ? How was it?” She asked, and John shrugged.

“It was okay. I thought the whole thing where they could become a weapon was cool, but that moon freaked me out. What’s up with that?” He asked, and she shrugged.

“No idea, it doesn’t even have importance in the series. But, I think it kind of sets the creepy mood of the whole place, and it kind of feels like I’m in  _ Majora’s Mask _ again, you know?” She asked him, and he brightened immediately.

“You like videogames?” He asked, and she put her hands up.

“Well, I’m just a Nintendo nerd, but I did some of the Zelda games, and I like smash and stuff.” She said, and he took a sip from his drink before responding.

“Me too! Oh, okay. So I remember this one time, Dave and.. uh, I, were playing smash. Instead of doing who could win the most, the challenge was to get the most death in an amount of time. He won, but it was still pretty fun.” John said, and a smile grew on Damara’s face.

“Really, so he did it opposite? I’ve never done that before. Maybe I’ll try it sometime.” She said, and he grinned.

“It’s the best. Plus, everybody kind of wins, because the winner is just winning at loosing.” John said, and frowned. “Wait, did that make sense?” she offered him a far less nervous smile at that.

“It makes perfect sense.” John sighed in relief. “Oh, and I looked up that movie you told me about. It looks pretty hardcore.” Damara commented, and John felt a little heat come to his ears and cheeks in embarrassment.

“Yeah, it is. It’s not exactly for everyone, but it’s pretty action filled. Con Air is really more explosions than plot, but I think it’s pretty fun. The one liners are great.” He said, and she raised her eyebrows.

“Really? Well, I haven’t found it online yet, besides on Amazon. Is it even available on the internet? I know it came out before that existed.”

“I have a copy of it on CD at my house, if you want to check it out some time.” He said, and she shrugged.

“Sure. I like action stuff, but it usually filters into anime.” She said, and John looked up curiously.

“Hm, why do you like that more?” He asked, and she shrugged.

“I don’t know, but the effects are really cool, and there’s just something awesome about seeing someone that’s supposed to be in high school wield a giant hammer, or a sword or something like a master.” She said, and she looked away. “I know it usually sounds pretty stupid, but-”

“No, it’s not stupid! That’s actually pretty cool.” John said, thinking to his own hammer with a smile on his face. “Using weapons is awesome.” She raised her eyebrows.

“Do you?” She asked, and John’s ears burned in embarrassment. He couldn’t tell her about his whole hunter training thing just yet.

“Uh, no, I wish. But a friend of mine used to sword fight a lot. Actually, I saw them do it once, and I recorded it with my phone. It was the coolest thing ever, like real life anime. The stuff they did wasn’t like fencing either, they were using stuff like knight swords.” John said, and her eyes widened.

“No way, really?” She asked, and John, in an effort to compensate for his lie, nodded vigorously.

“Yeah! I recorded it on my phone. It’s three minutes, want to see?” John asked, and she quickly nodded, her hair bouncing with her excitement. John pulled out his phone, and the two had to lean in over it to see. He wanted to just hand the device over to her at first, but she silently insisted that they both watch. After muting the sound, John played the video, and his uncannily still hand gave her an optimal viewing of the video.

John already watched the video, on multiple occasions, and he found himself gauging her reactions more than anything. She honestly seemed excited by it, and she even muttered her exclamations of awe as the brothers’ swords collided. When the video finally ended, she let out a deep breath she didn’t even realize she was holding.

“That was so cool!” She said, and John nodded.

“Yeah, pretty awesome, right? That was my friend and his brother, and they do that kind of thing all the time. He let me watch once, and that was the result.” John said, and Damara grinned.

“Did you see when one of the guys slid down the sword, and like, break danced away, or something? And that time when the taller guy catapulted himself off the other guy’s sword was the coolest, I didn’t even know people could do that!”

“I know, neither did I. Can you imagine doing that, like, every week or something? I think it’s crazy that he just does that kind of thing.” John said, and Damara nodded in agreement.

“That’s awesome. I mean, that’s like the type of fighting I always found cool. Who is that?”

“Oh, it’s Dave!” John said, and her eyes widened, before she looked away from the boy.

“Oh.” She said, and John was confused. He didn’t know when, or even why the mood changed. She quickly attempted to brighten up, and plastered a smile on her face. “That’s really cool! So, you guys are close, huh?” She asked, and John frowned.

“Yeah, best friends. Why? Damara, are you okay?” He asked, and she nodded.

“I’m fine. Great actually, this has been fun.” John looked at her, unconvinced.

“Are you sure?” He asked, and she hesitated before answering.

“Yes. I’m sure.” She said, and John sighed.

“Okay then.” He went back to his drink, and she sipped hers in silence. John felt confused mostly. He couldn’t understand what made her upset. Still, he hoped he could get to the bottom of it, and he wanted Damara to have a good time with him. “Well, if you wanted to, we could go do something else today too. I mean, if you want.” John said, and she blinked.

“What else did you have in mind?”

“We could see if there are any movies?” He asked, his voice raising in nervousness as he asked. He hoped he wasn’t coming off creepy, or weird, but he needed to get to the bottom of why she was upset. To his relief, Damara smiled, and it looked less forced than before.

“Yes. I mean, yes, that would be nice, we should do it.” John took one last sip from his drink. He was pretty close to finishing it anyway, and the same could be said for her tea.

“Oh, okay! I have my car, you ready?” He asked, and she stood too.

“I am, let’s go.” She said, and the two stood up to leave.

JAFNF Chapter 85

(Saturday, April 3 rd )

Karkat looked up at Dave, who for the most part wasn’t paying attention. He noticed John and Damara stand, then looked up from his drink. While John and Damara had their date, Karkat had been checking through his cliché list, and none of them came true thus far, besides the generic idea of a coffee date. Dave had already gone in and ordered drinks for the two, thankfully remaining unnoticed by John.

“Dave, they’re on the move.” Karkat said, and Dave groaned.

“Ugh, Karkat, I don’t care. Can we please go do anything else? Seriously, we shouldn’t be spying on John.” Dave said, but Karkat glared.

“Come on, I bet Jade that I could check off at least 5 clichés after this, and so far I have one. They’re probably continuing their date somewhere else, let’s go.” Dave frowned.

“I don’t want to.”

“Why, you already said the jealousy wouldn’t affect you. It’s not that, is it?”

“No! I just feel bad about watching John on his date. This is a complete bro code violation.” Karkat wanted to argue a little more, but paused.

“You know what, fine. What do you want to do, go see a movie?” Karkat asked, and Dave looked at his friend in surprise, then relief.

“Yeah, sure Karkat. I feel weird about two vampires stalking humans. That is as weird as it gets. If we keep doing this, some hunter’s going to think we’re targeting these people.”

“Well, A, we’re not, and we know our region’s hunters. For another thing, our fucking blood signatures are hidden, we’ll be fine.” Karkat rebutted, and Dave stood.

“Okay then, we should go.” Karkat stood too, and looked at Dave.

“I can throw your drink away, strider. Then yes, we’ll go to the movies, just like you want.” He said, and Dave paused for a second. There was something strange in Karkat’s voice, but he shrugged.

“Thanks, let’s go.” Dave said, and followed Karkat in. Eventually, the two friends found themselves in Karkat’s car, and parked in the theatre’s parking lot. They decided to go in, and Karkat stood and looked at the titles for a second. “So, what did you want to see?” Dave asked, “Because you know I don’t give a shit.”  Karkat was concentrating.

“Shh, I’m thinking Strider. Give me a second.” He said, and Dave shrugged. He didn’t mind. “I’ve got it.” He said, and walked up to the teenager selling tickets. “Hey, fu- I mean, person. What movie either started recently or starts soon?”

“Uh, we have  _ The Shallows _ . A few people just walked in there.”

“Like, two people?”

“Yeah, did you want to see that or-”

“Yes, definitely, two tickets for that.” Karkat said, and Dave looked at him incredulously.

“Wait, really? I don’t mind waiting to watch a better movie.”

“Nope, The Shallows sounds good to me.”

“Are you sure? Isn’t that the one where a lady talks to a bird and acts like it’s Jaws 20, or something? Finding Dori comes on ten minutes after that, along with a bunch of other ones.”

“Yeah, let’s go Strider, you said you didn’t care.”

“Okay then, fifteen dollars please.” The man said. Karkat handed him a ten, and Dave, who also had ten dollars with him, just gave it to the guy. When he told him he had five extra dollars and was lacking correct change, besides a bunch of coins, Karkat insisted that they hurried. So, Dave ended up buying two dollars and fifty cents worth of popcorn, gave Karkat the other two dollars and fifty cents the cashier did have, and followed his friend into the movie.

__---------------

As John left the coffee place with Damara in tow, he overheard a conversation. The voice speaking was familiar, and when John heard the voice say ‘They’re on the move, Dave’, then an argument in response, he sighed. Of course, he already knew who it was. Dave and Karkat apparently decided to shadow him on his date. Maybe that was what upset Damara.

“Ugh, Karkat, I don’t care. Can we please go do anything else? Seriously, we shouldn’t be spying on John.” John heard the words and smiled. Well, at least he knew Dave wasn’t in on it. Really, he didn’t know how he didn’t notice Karkat’s loud voice before, or the baritone of Dave’s words. Both were obvious. He was able to listen to a little more of the conversation as he held his car door open for Damara, and when he heard about Karkat’s cliché bet, he let out another sigh. Just before he entered the car on his side, taking care to walk excessively slowly, he heard it.

“Why, you already said the jealousy wouldn’t affect you. It’s not that, is it?” John stopped for a second. Those were Karkat’s words, meaning that… Dave was jealous of him? As John entered his car, with Damara sitting to the side of him, he stole a glance at her. Maybe the two dated once, or something? Could that have been why she got upset today? When he thought about it, she did only seem to get sad after he mentioned Dave’s name. Still, Dave wouldn’t hide something like that from his best friend, unless he still liked her. John shook his head. He needed to investigate this later. However, Damara did deserve to know about what was going on.

“Hey, I don’t want to alarm you or anything, but we’re kind of being followed right now.” John said, and Damara gaped at him.

“What? Why?”

“I overheard them talking at the café, it’s some stupid bet on dating clichés. Do you want to go home?” John asked, and Damara frowned, but her lips turned up into a smirk.

“No way. I want to get them back.” She said, then turned to John shyly. “If… you don’t mind?” She asked, and John beamed.

“Oh, definitely, I love pranking people, especially when they deserve it, like these two. Any ideas?” John asked, and Damara shrugged.

“Well, you said they’re looking for clichés, right? Why don’t we go to the movies, and see how many we can do?” She asked. “Maybe you can get them to mention it when you see them again, and they’ll get embarrassed.” John thought about it, and his face stretched into a grin.

“You… I like you. Let’s do it!” He said, and they drove over to the nearest movie theatre. He looked at the available titles, and one movie started within the next five minutes. “Well, some shark movie is playing in a few minutes, if you want to watch that. I’m pretty sure it’s the most cliché thing here.” John said, and Damara smiled.

“Sounds good!” She said, and they bought tickets. The two decided to get popcorn, and John looked at her.

“We should wash hands, so we can accidentally hold them in the bowl. This is going to be great!” John said enthusiastically, and Damara nodded.

“Okay, I’ll go to the bathroom and wash my hands first, then hold this, and you can wash yours after that, okay?” Damara asked, and John understood. He held the popcorn and waited for her, then when she came out, she did the same for him. After that, they walked into the theatre. As they found their seats (near the front, but not too close), the two gave each other twin smiles, and a few minutes later, they heard Dave and Karkat come in. They sat just two rows behind him and Damara looked at John and whispered. “How do they think you wouldn’t catch them?” John giggled, then responded in a quiet tone.

“No idea, they’re bad at this. Whatever though. Anyway, sorry for taking you to see a shark movie.”

“It’s okay! I can pretend to be scared if you do the arm yawn thing.” They both giggled at that, and began to watch the movie. When the shark attack began, she played up her part and covered her hands with her eyes. John deliberately stared at her through the entire movie, and both laughed at things that weren’t funny. The blue eyed boy ended up placing some popcorn in his mouth, and Damara took that as an opportunity to put her hand in the bowl as well.

Both could hear Karkat gasp when they made it painfully obvious that their hands touched, and the two shared amused smiles at Karkat’s antics.  After they pulled back their respective hands, then both reached for napkins, and wiped the butter off their hands. About halfway in the movie, John ‘yawned’, and placed his arm around Damara, who looked up at him smugly. Really, Karkat was acting way more entertaining than the movie they watched. Eventually, it came to an end, and when it did John actually yawned.

“That was short.” He said, giving both Karkat and Dave time to leave the area. Damara stood and shrugged.

“Hm, I liked it. It was pretty good for a shark movie.” She said, and John grinned.

“I’m glad you like it.” He said, and on their way out, they noticed the theatre had a little arcade area, and inside it, stood a little claw machine. John’s smile grew wicked. “Wait a second, I have to win one of those for you.” John said, pointing to the machine. Damara blinked.

“No you don’t!” She said, and John grinned.

“Oh yes I do.” He said, and before she could protest, he walked up to the concession stand and produced a random dollar bill. “Hi, can you turn this into quarters please?” John asked, and the woman shrugged. She found four quarters and offered them to the boy. “Thank you!”

“Yes, thanks so much.” Damara said, and the two returned to the claw. John put in a quarter, then looked at the animals challengingly. “You’ve got this.” Damara said, and John grinned.

“Yeah! One stuffed animal, coming up!” He tried manipulating the claw, but when he told it to grab something, the plush toy fell out of its grasp. “Aww, what?” John said, and Damara smiled.

“Ooh, nice try John. Really, it’s okay.” She said, but John shook his head.

“Nuh uh. I’m getting this thing for you.” John said, and he placed another quarter in the machine. He grabbed the toy this time, but it let it go. “Ah, darn!” John cried, and Damara put a hand on his shoulder.

“Hey, John. It’s really okay.” She said, and John shook his head.

“No way, I want to do this for you. Two more tries, okay?” John asked, and Damara sighed- she couldn’t stop him anyway. So, he attempted a third time. It didn’t work. On his fourth try, John took a deep breath, and placed his hand on the claw. After a few torturous seconds of manipulation, the claw went down, and closed on a toy. After a second where John didn’t breathe, it picked it up, then deposited it inside the place where John could pick it up. The blue eyed boy turned, and offered Damara a grin.

“No way.” She said, and John’s smile spread to her face.

“Hey, look what I got for you.” He said, and she clasped the toy in her hands excitedly. Really, it wasn’t about the fact that he won it, but she found it adorable that he was sweet enough to try, and four times at that.

“Thanks, John!” It was a stuffed yellow reptile, and it looked cute. John smiled happily, then turned.

“Of course! I didn’t really have, like, a plan after this.” John said, his face blushing in embarrassment.

“That’s fine, I had a great time!” John wanted to open the door to take her outside. After all, they parked his car near the back of the admittedly large parking lot. The movie theatre happened to be near a complex with a mall, so they kind of shared the parking spaces. While it wasn’t a problem for John when they were walking in, after taking one look outside the glass doors, he saw a problem. It was pouring rain. John looked at Damara, who noticed the rain as well.

“Hold on, you stay here and I’ll get my car, okay?” John asked, and  Damara blinked.

“But you’ll get wet!” She said. John shrugged.

“Water can’t kill me. Actually- take this.” John handed her his jacket, and she gawked at him.

“What? You definitely need this more than me.”

“Nah, there’s a little walk from where I’ll pull up with the car to here. I’ll be fine, I have an umbrella.” John said, and she blinked.

“Really? Wait, where?” She asked, and John shrugged.

“In my car.” He said cheekily, and Damara’s eyes widened.

“John, that won’t help!” She said, crossing her arms. “If you’re going out there, you’re taking your jacket.”

“But, Damara I’ll be fine!”

“And I will too!” She said, and John uncrossed his arms, then reached his arms out for the jacket.

“Fine, but I tried.” John said, and Damara smirked, wanting to speak again, but her eyes fell to his uncovered arms. This was the first time she’d seen the underside of his arm, where scars in a variety of shapes littered the skin. John noticed her glance before he could lift it, and he immediately moved to cover his arms. “Uh, I’m sorry, I’ll just…” John looked down, not wanting what he was sure would be disgust, or horror on her face. Instead, she put a hand on his shoulder.

“It’s okay.” She said, after they stood in silence for about a minute. “I get it.” She added, and John’s eyebrows raised.

“You do?” He asked, more confused than anything. She offered him a tight lipped smile, and pulled up the sleeves on her dress.

“Yeah.” She said, and John’s eyes widened when he saw. While his arms had little x’s all over him, hers looked like tally marks. “I get it.” She finished, and John put his thumb on one of hers, and they stood there for what felt like hours. Eventually, John looked out at the rain, still pouring behind him, and pulled away.

“I’ll, uh, be right back with the car.” John said, and after situating the jacket so it would cover his head, he ran out into the rain. When he returned with his vehicle, instead of waiting for Damara to come out and bear the admittedly little rain, John, ever the gentleman, walked out with the umbrella, then personally escorted her to the passenger seat. With that taken care of, the two teenagers drove away.

After a little confusion, embarrassment with directions, and a GPS, John decided he’d just drop Damara off at home. They spent the drive in relative silence. After that discovery about their arms, and other body parts, both wanted to think a little. Still, Damara and John both maintained some menial conversation. As they reached Damara’s home, she held her yellow plush toy, and smiled as she let herself out of the car.

“Thanks for today, John.” Damara said, and John smiled.

“Sure, it’s going to be fun tormenting Karkat. This was a good… date?” He said, wincing as he let out the words. Damara smiled.

“John, thank you for today’s date.” She said, and John let out a little noise of relief, but grew nervous again.

“So, I mean, could we do this again? I mean, is that okay?” He asked, and at that, Damara let out a long sigh. She almost said yes, but she already made a promise, and she knew she couldn’t break it. So, as much as it pained her to do it, she had to decline.

“John… I like you. Actually, I’ve liked you for a long time, and today was fantastic. But I can’t date you right now. If… you’d be willing to wait, until, like, after school ends, and you’re still single, I would love to. I just can’t right now.” She said honestly, and John sighed, but nodded.

“I understand. It’s okay, I can wait. But if we’re both still single in June, you want to try?” John asked, and Damara nodded.

“I would. I really, really would.” She said, and John sighed.

“Alright. Anyway, we should get you to your house. I can walk you to the front door, because it’s still raining.” John said, and Damara smiled. She was glad he understood, for the most part.

“Thanks, John.” John made sure his car was parked, then got out his umbrella. He walked over to Dolorosa’s side, making sure the rain didn’t land on her. After she exited the vehicle, the two (just) friends walked to her front door, and John stood just outside the area where the porch was protected from rain. She rang the doorbell, and to her surprise, her twin sister answered the door. “Hey, Aradia.”She looked at her sister with a smile, and turned to John.

“Hello, sister. And you’re John, right? Sollux told me about you. Thanks for bringing Damara back.” She said, and before John could say anything, a female voice yelled something in some language John didn’t understand. Aradia yelled something back, and Damara turned to John.

“Quick, run while you can!” John looked confused.

“Why, is that your mom? She sounds nice.”

“No, John, come on-” but before she could get him to leave, her mother appeared at the front door. Before saying anything, she looked at her daughter and spoke in Japanese. Aradia answered, and she looks surprised, smiled, and looked down at the boy.

“Who… are you?” She asked, and John offered her a smile.

“I’m John Egbert, it’s nice to meet you.” He said, reaching out for a handshake. She shook his hand.

“It is nice to meet you too.” Her Asian accent was prevalent in her words, and John responded kindly.

“The pleasure’s all mine, Ms. Medigo.” He said, and while Damara appeared to die on the spot, Aradia held back a giggle, and the woman said something else without speaking English. Aradia did giggle at that, and Damara almost looked offended.

“Mother!” She said, and turned to John, a blush spreading on her cheeks. “Sorry about this. Thanks for today, John. It was fun.” She said, and John smiled.

“Any time, Damara. Seriously, call me at 12 am, we can break into a movie theatre.” He said, grinning, then started to walk towards his car. “Take care!” She waved, holding the stuffed animal in her hands, and John entered his car, waved, and drove off.

\------

AN: Hey, so I gave these two a cute date. After all, they really deserve it. I mean, this… this is cute. So, in a situation where Damara doesn’t turn evil after she’s bullied and cheated on, I’d say she’d keep being the cute weaboo she was always meant to be. The Aranea exposition stand said she was nice, so I hope I portrayed her right. I know I improved her English more than the one in the comic, so I tried to make up for that with her mom. The head canon is that Damara is American (With Japanese parents), along with her, yes, twin sister. So, for all you John/ Dave shippers, sorry about the clear deviation from the ship, but once I get my next two pairings set up, we’ll be back with the main pairing in full throttle. Also, don’t be worried about Damara. I have someone in mind for her.

PS: If you’re wondering about what she may have said, I was going to include something along the lines of John’s physical appearance, along with Sollux’s. Aradia introduced John as Damara’s boyfriend.

JAFNF Chapter 86

(Saturday, April 3 rd )

Later that evening, Karkat and Dave returned to the Strider residence.

“I can’t believe you followed them all the way into that movie, Karkat! That was such a dick move, I can’t even begin to comprehend.” Dave said as they walked up his driveway, but Karkat paid him no mind.

“Nepeta’s going to go insane. It was like they were doing the clichés on purpose, I checked so many off. That alone was worth whatever you have to say, Strider. But remember this, for future reference, okay?” Karkat asked, and Dave just looked at him, still miffed at what he’d done. John could have caught them, and then, he didn’t know where they would be. When they walked inside, Jade was still asleep on the couch, and an idea formed in Dave’s mind. He was feeling very, very older brothery, and when he saw a black marker, he smirked.

“Karkat, I’m about to do something that I’ll get in a shit ton of trouble for.” Dave said, and Karkat raised an eyebrow.

“Well, as long as we’re being honest with ourselves, what are you doing?” Karkat asked, and Dave picked up the black marker. Jade was still fast asleep, and Karkat’s eyes widened when he glanced at Jade. “Dave, if she doesn’t kill you, both your brother and Mr. English will.”

“Yeah, but it will take her a while to notice. That is going to be fucking hilarious. I’m just doing a mustache.” Dave said, and Karkat looked at him.

“Hey man, I can’t stop you, but you shouldn’t do this.” Karkat said, turning his back to the situation. He turned Jade over, and as expected, she stayed asleep. As he began to draw on the area between her nose and mouth, Jake walked in on them.

“What in the blazes are you two up to?” Jake asked, and  Dave turned, then froze.

“Uh, nothing.”

“I told him it was a bad idea.” Karkat said, and Dave glared on him through his glasses. Jake walked up to the two.

“Wait, are you drawing a mustache on her?” He asked, and Dave didn’t know how to respond.

“Uh..”

“That’s priceless! Make sure it looks curly on the edges!” Jake said, and Dave blinked, but smirked and nodded. Karkat stared in shock, and Dave’s smirk grew on his face, and it even turned into a half grin. Okay, so his teacher may have just grown twenty times cooler in Dave’s mind.

“Yes, I’ll do it.” He said, and went back to drawing. Jade was powerless to stop their attack, and in a matter of seconds, it was done. They turned her back over, and shared a high five.

“What the f-heck, Mr. English?” Karkat asked, and Jake giggled.

“I’m always one for a good prank, nice going Dave!” He said, and grinned.

“Hell yes. This is going to be hilarious when she wakes up.” Dave said, and grinned.

20 hours later, when she woke up on Sunday afternoon, it was definitely funny, and she didn’t notice for quite some time. When she woke up, she moved through life normally, and practically squealed when she received Tavros’s text. Dirk flash stepped to see her, and raised an eyebrow.

“You’re up for two minutes and already screaming?” He asked, and she put a hand on her head.

“Haha, sorry Dirk. I just got excited about something. Good morning!” She said, and he looked at a clock.

“Good evening.” He said, and then frowned when he saw her face. He looked around, and sighed.

“Dave, you little shit, come here!” Dirk shouted, and in an instant, Dave was there. He rushed down the steps, and when he saw that Jade was awake, he snickered and called Jake’s name. He arrived, and as soon as he saw her, he shared a laugh with Jade.

“Uh, what’s going on?” Jade asked, and Jake attempted to keep a straight face, while Dave spoke up.

“Oh, nothing. I’m just glad you woke up. You know Karkat saved your life?” Dave asked, and she frowned.

“Oh… yeah, you told me, I remember. That was really great for him to do, and now he’s never going to get over it.” Jade said, and frowned. “I’m going on a date with him next week.” Jade said, and Dave smirked.

“I heard, he’s excited too. Don’t tell him I told you that.” Dave said, and a little grin found itself on Jade’s face, while Dirk looked up in surprise.

“Woah, date? When- what?” Dirk asked, and Jade shrugged.

“I got the text from Tavros, and I guess he got his from Nepeta. We’re doing a double date with them this Saturday!” She announced, and Dirk raised an eyebrow.

“Hm, well, you have fun. Also, you have a mustache on your face.” Dirk said, and Jake looked at him.

“Dirk, why?” He asked, and Jade growled at Jake.

“Did you put this here?” She asked, and Jake laughed a little but shook his head.

“Nope, it was Dave!” He said, and Dave sputtered.

“What? Jake, not cool, you high fived me and told me to make it curly!” Dave said, and Jake shrugged.

“You did what?” Dirk asked, and Jade groaned.

“Ugh, let me see it.” She said, and looked around for a mirror, but realized they didn’t have any. “Oh, right. Nevermind.” She said, and let out a long sigh. “Hold on, I’ll be back in ten.” Jade said, then she sprinted down the stairs. Dirk coughed, and glared at Jake and Dave.

“You two shouldn’t have done that.” Dirk said, and Jake shrugged.

“It was pretty funny.” Dirk tried to will the smile off his face, and he ended up with a smirk.

“Yeah, but that’s no excuse!” Dave grinned.

“Does that mean I’m not in trouble?” Dave asked, and Dirk crossed his arms.

“Yeah, no. At least, not for that. We’ll talk about it when Jade comes back up.” He said, and eventually, she did. Her face was mustache free, and she glared at Dave.

“Very funny, Dave. I know it was you.” She said, and Dave shrugged.

“Guilty as charged. Anyway, Bro wanted to talk to us?” Dave said, his voice making it a question. Jade turned towards him, and Jake stood next to him.

“Uh, yeah. Jake and I talked about it, you two are grounded.” Jade looked towards him, then Jake in surprise.

“Really? Why?” She asked, and Jake frowned at her.

“Because Jade, you fell asleep in the road. That was dangerous, and we were worried about you. And Dave’s in trouble because he let you go out that way. You should really be more attuned to your personal safety, and each other’s.” Jake said, his voice making it clear no arguments would happen.

“So, Dave, no tablet, or tables for two weeks-”

“Ah no, but sbahj-”

“And Jade, you cannot use that moped for the same amount of time. If you need a ride somewhere, you’ll need to get it from me or Dirk. And, no going off to your other lab. You can still visit your island, but no going inside that laboratory.”

“No, Uncle Jake, I have to analyze-”

“That’s final.” Dirk finished, and Jade shared a look with Dave. Neither looked happy about the arrangement, but it wasn’t like they could do anything about it. They let out twin sighs, and both nodded in understanding. Jake relaxed.

“Good. Well, now that all of that’s taken care of, I believe Jade and I need to take our leave. I have school tomorrow, and Dave does too.” Dave sighed as he thought about it. He did still have some work to finish up.

“Alright, We’ll see you later then, right?” Dirk asked, and Jake confirmed it.

“Of course you will, Dirk.” Jake said. Dave resisted the urge to cough something along the lines of ‘clingy’, and gave them a little wave.

“See you later, guys.” Dave said, and Jade, looking a little less energetic than usual, pouted and nodded.

“See you.” She said, and Jake offered Dirk a quick kiss on the cheek, before the older Strider walked him out. Dave walked away to go finish his homework, then power down his tablet. He, regretfully, turned off the music in his room and frowned. It was too quiet in there, but at least he could focus more, hopefully.

______________

(Mondayy, April 5 th )

That Monday, Karkat walked into the lunchroom with a smile on his face. To his surprise, Jade was there, and she didn’t dampen her mood. John was whispering to Dave the entire time, and the older strider responded as he usually did. With a set of grins, John looked over at Jade.

“Hey, Jade! I heard you got in trouble this weekend, right?” John asked, and she groaned.

“Yes, I can’t analyze these samples in my lab because I got grounded!” Jade said, and John raised an eyebrow.

“Uh, I was talking about you falling asleep in the road.” John said, causing Jade to blink, while a smug smile grew on Karkat’s face.

“Oh, that happened too. Karkat, how did you even get your moped in my truck? Wasn’t it hard for you to carry?” Jade asked, and Karkat shrugged.

“Eh, no harder than carrying you, Harley.” Karkat said, and before Jade could fire back a response, Nepeta spoke up.

“Hold on, what? What happened to Jade, Karkitty?” She asked, and a genuine smile appeared on his face.

“Oh, Nepeta. I was going to hang out with Dave, and I saw this fucking genius here, Jade, asleep on the road. So, I brought her to Dave’s house. This is why you don’t work for two nights and three days without sleep!” Karkat said, and Jade rolled her eyes.

“Whatever. I heard you had a hand in putting a mustache on my face.”

“What? I told Dave not to do it, but he and Mr. English didn’t care. Blame them, sl- I mean, Jade. It’s too bad you removed it though, I would have liked an excuse to laugh at your face.” Karkat said, and Jade crossed her arms.

“Hm, well I never need an excuse to laugh at your face. I mean, look at it! That’s all the reasoning I need.” Jade said, and everyone blinked at the utter cruelness coming from her lips. Equius looked surprised, but Dave expected it. He had no intention to intervene.

“Of course, you would be as crude as to laugh at someone’s face. Sounds just like you, Harley.” Karkat said, and Nepeta saw the quickly escalating fight with eyes growing wide.

“Ah, Jade! I was wondering, did you want to hang out this Saturday, before our meeting?” She quickly asked the girl, and Jade blinked. She was about to give Karkat a verbal smackdown, so when she had to transfer into her usual personality, she was surprised.

“Oh, sure Nepeta, sounds fun!” Jade said, and John looked up from the two.

“What are you guys doing Saturday?” He asked, and Nepeta answered for him.

“Oh, me, Jade, Karkat and Tavros are going on a big double date! I’m so excited!” She said, and Karkat smiled at her.

“Me too Nepeta, thanks for setting this up. I don’t know why I didn’t think of it sooner.” He said, and Nepeta smiled.

“No purroblem! But the idea really came from Equius, Tavros and I just worked out the details.” They all turned towards the blue eyed boy, who barely listened to the conversation but looked up when his name was mentioned.

“Oh, no. Nepeta’s offered me too much praise. I simply gave Tavros some advice, they all worked on it from there.” He said, and Nepeta bounced over to him.

“No way, you were a totally big help! Thanks, Equitty.” Nepeta said, and Equius gave her a small smile.

“Of course, I’m always happy to help.” Equius said, then he frowned. “Oh, would any of you know of any hacker that could successfully infiltrate Solux’s computer? I know, it sounds improbable, but he’s whining about it.” Equius said, and while most of the people looked confused, John had to stifle a giggle.

“Tell him the hacker isn’t trying to hurt him.” John said, and all eyes turned to John.

“Wait, you know who it is?” Dave asked. “It’s not you, right?”

“No, it’s not. She’s just messing with him, because she’s curious about how skilled he is. She’s been helping him get better at it, right? Either way, if she’s really unwanted, she’ll clear out eventually. Also, she admires his skills. Let him know that too. I probably shouldn’t say who, but tell him not to worry.” John added, and Equius shrugged.

“I will, thank you John.” He said, and they left the subject. The group’s conversation lapsed, and Jade spoke up.

“Oh, John! How did your date go this Saturday?” She asked, and John smirked.

“It was great, Jade. We just kind of walked around for a while and got ice cream. It was fun, but then it rained.” John said, and Karkat’s eyebrows scrunched together.

“Really? That sounds fun. What did you guys do when it rained?”

“We, uh, went to a store, bought as much sugar as possible, and walked around with umbrellas. We were both pretty sugar high, and it was the best time ever.” John said, and Karkat looked at him, a disbelieving expression on his face. John turned to Karkat and blinked innocently. “Karkat, is something wrong? You look surprised, or like you don’t believe me or something.” John said, and Karkat froze.

“Shit. I mean, no, why do you say that? I was just thinking about something else, no need to read into it Egbert.” John raised an eyebrow at that.

“Hm, really? Okay then Karkat. Well, don’t ever do it again.” He said, his voice casual but his words threatening, and everyone looked surprised, but Karkat knew what he meant.

“Sorry, sorry. I’ll pay attention.” He said, though his face flushed in embarrassment. Everyone looked between Jade, John, and now Karkat. Was there something affecting the dark haired kids in their group today? Equius was actually listening to Sollux, Jade showed her mean side, John was threatening people for what seemed like no reason, and Karkat was apologizing? It must have just been a weird day for everyone, at this point.

“Ah, anyway, John. Is Damara your girlfriend?” Nepeta asked, always being the one that relieved the tension. John sighed.

“Not yet. Hopefully, once school ends, we can talk about it some more? I’ll have to ask her for real later this year. We both have to focus on school right now, and with hu- I mean, extracurricular activities, I understand that she may want to wait. So, in June, if we’re both still single, she said she’d give it a try.” John reported, and Dave sighed in relief. Nepeta nodded in understanding.

“Oh, okay John. Well, good luck.” She said, and John smiled.

“Thanks Nepeta, good luck to you too.” Before they could talk more, the bell rang. Jade decided she’d spend the rest of the day in the library, since her lab was off limits, and the rest of them went to class. John dropped Dave off, as usual, and Dave looked down at his friend. “Well, have a good time.” John said, and Dave frowned.

“I will, but are you okay?” Dave asked, and John shrugged. “Come on Egbert, tell me what’s wrong. Is it Damara?” John sighed.

“I guess. I feel like she just may not like me like that, and she’s putting it off. You know, I saw you and Karkat following us. We tried to make the date as cheesy as possible, for Karkat’s sake, but I don’t know- maybe she didn’t like it, or I wasn’t all she thought I was. I mean, I think I’m the person, and she says she’s liked me for a long time, but I don’t know. Do you think I just wasn’t as good as she thought I’d be?” John asked, and Dave shook his head.

“No way, she looked like she enjoyed it a lot from where I was sitting. She probably just wants to wait, like you said.” John sighed, and a bell rang.

“Yeah, maybe. Anyway, I have to go- see you.” John said, and quickly wrapped his arms around his friend. Dave, now accustomed to this, held him too, and within seconds, John was running down the hallway to his next class.

\--------

That afternoon, Jade appeared in their classroom as the release bell rang. She offered Dave and John a wave, then gave Karkat a look of contempt as he left. He gave her a semi discreet middle finger, and exited the premises. Dave told Jake he’d be walking John home, and the two boys were off. As they walked, John sighed. Dave, however, decided to start their conversation.

“So, John. Uh first, are you mad at me and Karkat for… you know?” John sighed.

“Not you. I heard you saying you didn’t want to do it, so I guess that’s okay. I guess I’m a little upset at Karkat stalking me, but I know how he gets with Jade. So, yes and no with him, as long as he doesn’t do it again. But on a less serious note, I can’t ever take you guys with me on a recon mission. You weren’t discreet at all! The second I left the café, I noticed you. And all I had to do to see you was look to my left.” John said, and Dave shrugged.

“Hey, you’re a hunter, of course you’d notice us. Still, sorry about all that. I know you two had fun though.” Dave said, and John sighed.

“I hope she did.”

“She did.” Dave assured him. “Didn’t she say so in class today?” John nodded.

“She could have just been polite.”

“Please, John. I know polite, and genuine enjoyment. She really likes you.”Dave assured. John offered him a smile.

“Thanks, Dave.” John said, and Dave smirked.

“No problem, Egbert. You know, Karkat gained so much approval from Jake and Dirk this weekend. Dirk didn’t even question it when she said she would go on a date with him. I hope it works out well for those two.”

“Me too, I’ve been waiting to get them together for ages. Big surprise with Nepeta and Tavros though, right?” John asked, and Dave made a ‘so so’ gesture.

“Not really, they were always good friends.” Dave said, and John raised an eyebrow.

“Yeah, and she was always good friends with Equius, but that didn’t happen.” Dave shrugged.

“Eh, some people are best friends, and that’s all they want to be. If it works for them, I’m glad.” Dave said, and John shrugged.

“I guess so. Still, I don’t know, I just always sort of expected it to happen. Karkat did too, but I guess not everyone falls in love with their best friend.” John commented and Dave forced a laugh.

“Heh, I guess not. But really, this is great for the four of them.”

“It is. I hope they have fun this weekend.”

“Me too.” Dave said, and the friends continued walking.

JAFNF Chapter 87 (Has the transfer part in bold).

_____-______

(Saturday, April 10)

That Saturday, Jade woke up around eleven. She found a series of notes from Jake and Roxy, explaining that the two were out. Jade didn’t mind, but with a quick glance down to a green rubber band on her hand, she remembered that Nepeta would arrive that day. With a sigh, Jade lifted herself out of bed, and decided she’d take a shower. After all, she had a busy night planned. Once she stepped out from her long, comfortable wash, she noticed a new text from Tavros.

Audios Torreador (AT) began pestering Garden Gnostalgic (GG).

AT: uHH, HEY JADE,

AT: aRE, YOU, UH, EXCITED

AT: fOR, TONIGHT

GG: Yes, I am!

AT: dO, YOU, UH, MIND IF

AT: i JUST SORT OF,,

AT: pOOF, YOU OVER THERE, ALONG WITH NEPETA AND KARKAT?

AT: sINCE, UH, WE SAID WE’D MEET THERE

AT: dUE, UH, TO ‘GOING GREEN’, AND STUFF

GG: Oh, sure! I like being environmentally friendly.

GG: Okay then, thanks! I’ll tell nepeta when she comes here.

GG: All aboard the Tavros Express!

AT: hEH, THANK YOU

AT: i'LL, UH, SEE YOU TONIGHT

GG: See you tonight!

Garden Gnostalgic (GG) ceased pestering Audios Torreador (AT).

Jade looked around the house. No one was home, but she still lacked access to her lab, among other things. So, she decided she’d eat something instead, since she was already prepared for the day. When she opened the refrigerator, a task she’d semi recently began feeling comfortable doing, she searched for food that appealed to her. Her bright, green eyes landed on some peeled kiwis, and with a shrug, she took them out. Having nothing better to do, Jade decided to turn on the tv. She’d seen it playing a variety of movies, but never actually spent time watching it. She was always too busy doing other things.

Speaking of doing other things, she desperately wanted to finish analyzing and comparing those samples. After all, she wanted to identify the mystery girl, Latula’s species. Still, no meant no, and Jade didn’t want to break any rules. So, with a sigh of reluctance, she popped the green fruit in her mouth and searched for something to watch. Jade found a number of channels, most of which were playing movies, but decided that she wanted to see cartoons. The girl hadn’t seen any actual cartoons since she was into squiddles, and that was way back, when her grandfather was alive. Well, not way back, but she was at the oldest twelve, and that was over seven years ago.

She sat around, flipping through channels that had no meaning to her, until she heard a ring on the doorbell. Jade stood to go answer it, and to her surprise, Dave stood there.

“Dave? Hi, what’s going on?” She asked, and Dave shrugged.

“I was at my house. Now I’m here.” Jade rolled her eyes at the response.

“Yeah, I’ve got that. Why?”

“Bro and Jake are out on a date, and I can’t work on Sbahj or mix anything, so I came to see the person that’s in the same metaphorical boat as me.” Dave said, and Jade raised an eyebrow.

“Okay, how though?” She asked, and Dave pointed his thumb at a cube on the corner of the driveway. “My moped? Dave, I’m grounded!”

“Hey, you’re grounded from using it, not me. Also, you left it at my house.” He said, and Jade raised an eyebrow.

“Yeah, uncle Jake did it on purpose, so I didn’t use it. I wouldn’t do it anyway, but preventive measures are good, I guess.” Jade said, and Dave raised an eyebrow.

“Seriously? My bro put caution tape over my turntables, and put my tablet under the tape. Why the fuck does yours get to be so normal?” Dave asked, and Jade shrugged.

“I dunno, that sounds creative, at least. Anyway, as long as you’re not here to draw more mustaches, you can come in.” Jade said, and Dave smirked at that.

“No promises, Harley. Anyway, what are you up to?” Dave asked, stepping inside, and Jade shrugged.

“Breakfast, and I’m trying to watch cartoons.” The vampire raised an eyebrow.

“Trying?”

“Well, I don’t know the channels.”

“Just use the search.”

“I don’t know any specific cartoons either!”

“Wait, the fuck? How?” Dave asked, and Jade gave him a deadpan stare, before he got it. “Oh yeah, you spent most of your life on a science island. Still, you used to watch some show, right? I remember you talking about it. It was something with squids?” Jade blushed a little in embarrassment.

“Yeah, squiddles. It’s stupid though, and just made to sell toys.”

“That doesn’t mean you can’t like it. Shameless product placement can be fun, just watch the  _ Lego Movie _ . Dirk watches  _ My Little Pony _ all the time, and the whole channel has TV shows about toys they sell. It’s not a coincidence, but people don’t care, they just enjoy it.” Dave said, and Jade raised an eyebrow.

“Wait, Dirk watches a show called my little pony? I really never expected that from him, unless it’s ironic?”

“His love for walking, talking, rainbow product placement isn’t ironic at all. Remember the closet weaboo thing?” Dave asked, and Jade thought about it, and a smile fell on her face.

“Oh man, how could I forget? He aggressively shipped his pairings in real life. I find it admirable. But I’m curious about this ‘My Little Pony’ thing now. Mind if I turn it on?” Jade asked, and Dave shrugged.

“Fuck if I care. I’m just horrifically bored right now. Seriously, are we going to be stuck doing this for another week?” Dave asked, and Jade shrugged.

“I guess so. Oh, but Nepeta’s coming over at four.” Jade said, and Dave raised an eyebrow.

“What are you guys going to do, play dress up and wait for Prince Charming?” Dave asked. “Because you know, I’ve already arrived.” The blonde smirked, and despite herself, Jade barked out a laugh.

“Dave, that was horrible! You’re spending too much time around John.” Jade said, and Dave shrugged.

“Hey, you act like that’s a bad thing.”

“It is when you can’t stop spouting puns and jokes that are so awful you still laugh at them. Seriously Dave, have you no shame?” Jade asked, and Dave smirked.

“Eh, it wasn’t that bad. And I could totally pull off prince Charming.”

“With the way you act? Charming wouldn’t be at the top of my list of ways to describe that.” She said, and Dave shrugged.

“Eh, you’re right, the whole prince charming thing is a little overrated anyway. I want to be the one that’s actually getting shit done, not just smiling and waving from some stupid throne room. Like a knight, or something.” Dave said. Jade giggled.

“I could see you as a knight. John could be prince charming though. Like, the heir to the throne or something.”

“What? The heirs always get assassination attempts though. John would probably kick their asses, he’s good with that hammer.” Dave commented, and Jade shrugged.

“Yeah, but it’s still just a lightweight hammer. You’d protect him, right Mr. Knight?” Jade asked, and Dave nodded.

“Of course. Okay, who would you be in this crazy medieval world we’ve conjured through our conversations, huh?” Jade put a hand on her lips in thought.

“I would want to be like a scientist, but they don’t have those, so a witch, maybe?” Jade said, and Dave smirked. He could see it.

“Okay, what about Rose? If you’re the magical witch, who’s she?” Jade thought about it.

“Probably someone who writes a lot, like a scribe. But she’s so smart, so maybe a seer or something?” Jade said. “Oh, and Karkat could be a knight too, I guess.” The blonde raised an eyebrow again.

“Yeah, he’s really into saving damsels in distress, huh?” Dave joked, and Jade elbowed him.

“Shut up, I’m not a damsel in distress. I was just a hard working person that overestimated her no sleeping abilities. Okay, so what are, I don’t know, Nepeta and Tavros doing? And now that I think about it, Equius and Callie too, right?” Jade asked him, and Dave put a hand on his chin.

“Hm, Well Nepeta is probably like, the nicest maid ever, and she’s friends with everyone in the castle. Then Tavros is another servant too, like a page or something, and they both fall in love or some cheesy shit. Calliope would be a witch with you, because she uses magic. And I guess Equius is like, another heir too or something? But he lives in a different castle, and visits for negotiations or whatever with John. Either that or he’s John’s younger brother. Either way, I feel like Equius would like being royalty, or right under royalty or something.” Dave said, and Jade nodded.

“Sounds good. So I guess I’m giving John medicine, or something, right? And Rose can come too so she sees the kingdom’s future, which is totally great forever.”

“What? But I need something to fight!” Dave said, and Jade frowned.

“Okay then, Mr. Violent, you can go fight Caliborn, the evil invader/ king of another country that sucks. Or he could just be like, a wealthy lord or something, but either way he sucks.” Jade said, and Dave frowned.

“That’s doable, I hate that guy. He still hasn’t shown up around school, and I’m glad about that. I hope he doesn’t mess with anyone anymore, he’s a douche.”  Dave said, but relented. “Still, now that he’s in that hospital, hopefully he can feed there. I don’t know why he didn’t do it in the first place, but hey, as long as he stays away now, I don’t care.” Dave said, and Jade nodded.

“I get what you’re saying.” Now, Jade was wearing a hoodie that covered her head, but when she nodded, the top fell off. Jade didn’t necessarily feel different, but her glasses fell off now that the hood couldn’t keep them in place. Dave caught them for her, and she offered him a small smile. “Thanks, Dave.”

“Yeah, no problem Harley. Wait a second, stop.” Dave’s eyebrows raised, and she looked at him, confused. Within the landscape of her black hair, Dave thought he saw a little skin.

“Hold on, something is on your head.” Dave said, and moved so he could get it out for her. However, when he touched whatever he thought it was, he found that it was actually an ear. “Wait, what?” Dave asked, and tried pulling the little body part. Jade sprang up and pulled back with an expression of pain.

“Oww, Dave, what are you doing? That hurts!” She said, and Dave blinked.

“It’s real?”

“Yes! That hurts!” She said, and Dave put two hands up in surrender.

“Sorry, Sorry. But how do you have ears on your head?” Dave asked, and Jade, while holding her ear angrily, blushed a little.

“Uh, it’s part of my werewolf powers, but I hold my glasses up with my hoodie when I have these out. It’s just something I like to do in my spare time.” Jade said, and pouted. “They’re not grown out all the way, but I didn’t want anyone to notice.”

“Well, good job. I wouldn’t have noticed if your glasses didn’t grow out. So, they’re like wolf ears, huh?” Dave asked, and when Jade nodded, he could picture a tail wagging too.

“Yep! There’s this furry fandom thing I like, and it’s kind of cool. Plus, it helps my hearing a lot.” She said.

“Am I the only one that knows about this?” Dave asked, and Jade shrugged.

“Well, Nepeta first got me to consider it, but I didn’t really start doing it regularly until recently. So, yeah, I guess. It’s a little embarrassing, so don’t tell anyone.” Jade said, and Dave shrugged.

“Sure, no problem Jade. I just know what I’m getting you for Christmas now. Anyway, what do they look like fully grown out?” Dave asked, and Jade shrugged. She concentrated for a second, and they grew with a flash of green.

“Like this!” Jade said, and Dave nodded appreciatively. The ears stuck out from her hair now.

“Nice. Hold on, can I touch one?” Dave asked, and Jade shrugged again.

“Sure, I don’t care.” Jade said, and Dave reached over. He put his hand on the furry back of the ears, then petted it. The vampire got an idea, and he moved his dull nails to the base of the ear, and gave them an experimental few scratches. Jade froze, then practically melted into the action. A pleasant sigh escaped her lips, and Dave pulled back hesitantly, surprised by the reaction. Jade’s face turned visibly embarrassed when she saw what happened. “Uh, sorry, I just-”

“Holy shit, that was adorable. Okay, at least let me tell Karkat to try it.” Jade looked up in surprise.

“What? No, don’t do that Dave, you jerk! You promised not to tell anyone, and I really don’t want him to know about that.”

“Why? It clearly felt good. Fuck, I’m jealous.”

“Because it’s embarrassing! Please, don’t tell anyone about this!” Jade demanded, and Dave put a hand up.

“Fine, Harley. Now, were we going to watch that my little pony, or what?” Dave asked, and with a relieved smile, Jade searched for and found the show. They both relaxed into the couch, Jade hit a few buttons, and the episode came on. After twenty or so minutes of watching, they decided to transition into a movie they dubbed ‘The Lego Commercial’. After watching it, the two moved back to more episodes of my little pony. Jade seemed to genuinely enjoy the show, while Dave only watched it for irony’s sake, and the fact that he wanted to have a good time with Jade.

So, they watched until about three, when Roxy walked in. She greeted the two kindly, updated them on John, and went off into her room. Apparently, she was doing something fun, because they heard laughter behind her closed door. Shortly after that, Jake arrived, and after hanging out for a little while longer, Dave left and wished Jade good luck. She thanked him, hugged him, and he left with her moped. As the time changed to four, she heard a ring on the doorbell and grinned. It was time for her night to finally begin.

As soon as Jade opened the door, Nepeta greeted her with a ‘pounce hug’, and Jade caught her and hugged the girl back. She closed the door behind the two, and both started talking a mile a minute.

“Nepeta! I’m so glad you’re here, I can’t wait for tonight!” Jade said, and Nepeta grinned.

“Me either, I’m so excited!” She said, her voice cheery. “I’m going to wear this, what about you, Jade?” Jade put a hand on her chin in thought.

“Hm, well, maybe pants, since we’re skating. Hold on, let’s go to my room and attempt outfit combos!” Jade cried, and they did. At first, they were honestly trying to figure out what she’d wear, but after a while, she was just messing with the wardrobifier’s instant dress up and she knew it.

“Oh, Jade! This one looks pretty!” Nepeta said, pointing out a dress. Jade tried it on, and spun around in it. She was right, it looked nice. It flared out around her, and Jade giggled appreciatively. Nepeta looked through the hats then, and gave the girl a particularly floppy white sun hat. Jade covered her yes with it playfully, then invited Nepeta to try the wardrobifier too. At her words, Nepeta’s eyes grew wide. “Really? Wait, what about my clothes?” She asked, and Jade pointed to the machine.

“Don’t worry, it will put them in the machine, and you can change into it after.” Jade said, and Nepeta grinned.

“Okay!” She said, and stepped up to the platform. She scrolled through the nearly endless menu of clothing, and decided on a long dress first. Immediately, it replaced both her shirt and pants with the outfit. Nepeta looked at the flowing gown and found it pretty, but decided it didn’t complement her and moved on. She put on a variety of outfits, and at one point, she and Jade took pictures of themselves. They were wearing hats and detective like disguises for the first one, then they changed into dresses for the others. By the time they finished playing around, Jade, unfortunately still didn’t have an outfit picked out, but at least she had fun.

They realized that Jade needed to wear something, and after some deliberation, she just went with a jacket, t shirt, jeans and fairly normal shoes. Nepeta lacked a jacket, but decided she wouldn’t take one from Jade. With that taken care of, the two friends decided they’d play around with their hair. Both girls usually wore it messily, not really having the will or time to fix it. Still, since they were with each other, they found it fun to run brushes through their own locks of hair, and giggled when they considered what their separate dates would do.

“I’m pretty sure Karkitty would freeze, or something like that, when we show up. Maybe we’d come down in slow motion or something, like in those movies!” Nepeta said, and Jade suppressed a laugh.

“Karkat? No, he’d probably suppress a compliment under 50 layers of insult. But I think he would tell you that you look nice, Nepeta.” Jade said, and Nepeta giggled.

“You’re right! But Tavros would do the slow motion thing, and stutter.” Jade nodded in agreement at that.

“Yeah, he would! Now he would actually complement both of us.” Jade said, and Nepeta sighed.

“He would. Tavros is really a nice boy.” Nepeta said. “And a great friend too. I like him.” Jade smiled warmly at that.

“So do I, Nepeta. Anyway, we only have a few minutes before he’s supposed to arrive, right? We should take a picture.” Jade said, and Nepeta nodded excitedly.

“Okay, let’s do it!” She said, and the two girls did it. When Jade walked down the stairs to find something to do with Nepeta in tow, she spotted Dirk. He and Jake were at each other’s homes often, but his presence was still a pleasant surprise for Jade.

“Dirk!” She called excitedly, and he turned, then smiled as he saw her.

“Hey, Jade.” He said, and accepted the hug she offered him. He ruffled her hair, but to his surprise she pulled back.

“No, Dirk! I just got it to look nice again!” She said, and Dirk raised an eyebrow.

“Oh, sorry. Hey, wait a second, you have a friend over? Who’s this?” He asked, and Nepeta stepped out from where she stood near Jade. She offered him a wave.

“Hi, I’m Nepeta! We’re going on a double date tonight!” She said, and Dirk understood why Jade complained about her hair.

“Oh, pleasure to meet you. That’s right, you’re doing the thing with Karkat and Tavros, I remember. Sorry about your hair, Jade. And be back before ten.” Dirk said, and she shrugged.

“Yeah, that sounds doable. Speaking of doable- can I do my hair?” She asked Nepeta. “I have twenty minutes. We can fix it, right?” Jade asked, and Nepeta nodded.

“Yep, let’s go!” She said, and followed Jade as the two dashed up the stairs back to her room.  **__**

JAFNF Chapter 88

(Saturday, April 10)

A few minutes of unnecessary hair care later, a knock resounded on their front door. Dirk answered it, and saw both Tavros and Karkat standing there.

“H-Hello, S-Sir.” Tavros said, his stutter kicking in. Karkat raised his hand in a little wave.

“Hey, Dirk.” He said, and Dirk let the two in.

“Hey. Good evening, you guys.” He said, and turned around. Jake, who was walking from upstairs, noticed the three, and Dirk looked up at him. “Can you tell Jade and Nepeta that they have company?” Dirk asked, and Jake nodded dutifully before going to Jade’s door and knocking. Dirk turned to the two, who sat down on a couch across from him. “So, what were you guys going to do?” Dirk asked, and Tavros answered.

“We were going to d-do r-rollerskating and ice cream. Maybe we’ll walk around?” He said, and Dirk nodded.

“Hm, okay. Don’t let anyone die, don’t let Jade fall asleep again, and don’t do sex, got it?” Dirk asked, his voice nonchalant. Tavros’s ears lit up with his blush and he quickly nodded, but Karkat just rolled his eyes.

“Yeah, no kidding.” He said, and Dirk wanted to say more, but Jade and Nepeta came out of Jade’s room and descended the stairway.

“Hi efurryone!” Nepeta chirped, and Karkat and Tavros’ eyes turned to look at the pair. Both looked nice, albeit casual, and Tavros immediately got nervous.

“Uh, h-hi, you two look really nice.” Tavros said, and they reached the bottom of the stairway. Jade smiled.

“Thank you, Tavros. You look nice too!” She said, and Karkat raised an eyebrow.

“You look great, Nepeta.” Karkat said, and Jade put a hand on her hip.

“Really? What about me?” She asked, and Karkat rolled his eyes.

“You look passable, I guess. Huge step up from normal, bed head.” Karkat said, and Jade glared at him.

“Right, because you clearly comb your hair every morning. You’re no prize either, Vantas!” She said, but before a fight could start, Nepeta cut in.

“Thanks, Karkitty, you too!” She said, and Karkat’s blooming argument stopped. He offered Nepeta a grateful smile.

“Thanks, Cat Nep.” He said, and her grin stretched across her face when he used the nickname. Dirk, who’d been expecting a fight, had his eyebrows lift in surprise when Nepeta stopped it immediately. He smirked.

“Have a nice night, you guys.” Jake called. “Oh, and be safe!” He added, and Jade smiled.

“We will, uncle Jake! Thanks!” She said, and Tavros spoke up.

“You guys ready to go?” He asked, and the three heads nodded in sync. “Okay then, let’s leave.” He said, closed his eyes, and they disappeared in a flash of orange light.

When they arrived just outside the roller skating rink, Nepeta staggered a little, and Tavros steadied her.

“Are you okay?” He asked, and Nepeta offered him a small smile.

“I’m good, thanks Tavros!” She said, and he smiled, using his usual, slightly nervous expression. Jade and Karkat, both people who had teleported before, were unaffected, but they both offered the two smiles. Really, they were already cute. Nepeta grabbed Jade’s hand as they made their way towards the desk to get skates. When the four got in line, and eventually got out, they found that both Nepeta and Jade had the same skate size. Tavros walked up to Jade, and spoke with her.

“Hey, have you done this before?” He asked, and Jade shook her head. Tavros looked a little relieved. “Yeah, I h-haven’t either.” He said, and Jade offered him a smile and put a hand on his shoulder.

“Don’t worry Tavros, there’s a first time for everything! Besides, it can’t be that hard!” She said, confidence in her words, and Tavros smiled.

“Heh, thanks Jade. I feel more reassured now.” He said, yet the second he tried to stand with the skates, his knees wobbled. “Wait never mind, no I don’t!” He said, and Jade giggled at that. They both leaned on each other, attempting to stand. Karkat and Nepeta spoke behind them.

“Wow, I can’t believe this is going to be their first time skating! We should help them.” Nepeta said, but Karkat crossed his arms.

“What? But it’s going to be pretty funny to watch Jade fall.” He said, and Nepeta pushed him lightly.

“Karkat, that’s mean!” She said, and Karkat almost felt bad until she giggled. “But you’re right, it may be a little funny. Do you want to go help them?” She asked, watching the two inexperienced skaters enter the wooden area, only to hug the wall. Karkat sighed.

“They sure need it. Yeah, okay.” Karkat said, and he went out to the two. “No offense guys, but you both look like babies out here, and it’s mainly Jade making Tavros do bad.” Jade turned towards him, anger on her face, but before she could say anything, Karkat’s eyes widened and he spoke urgently. “ Wait, Harley, stop holding Tavros, he’s going to-” He said, and as she tried to let go, both she and the tall boy toppled over. Jade groaned, and Nepeta came over to them as well.

“Hey guys, don’t worry about it! Everyone falls sometimes.” She said, and Tavros scratched his head.

“H-Ha, thanks Nepeta.” He said, and she offered her friend a hand. Karkat did the same for Jade, but she decided she’d attempt to pick herself up. After all, she had no doubts that Karkat would help her up, then drop her. Of course, when she tried, she ended up spinning into Karkat. He easily steadied her.

“Hey, careful genius.” Karkat said, and Jade’s face burned in embarrassment as she responded.

“Shut up.” She said. Karkat rolled his eyes, but helped her stand upright. “Okay then, what do we do?” She asked, and Nepeta went in front of them.

“I know! Try to push on your ankles a little to make yourselves move. Like this!” She said, and the green eyed girl rolled forward a little, turned, and came back to her friends. Tavros looked nervous, but decided he’d try it.

“I- I don’t know if-” he tried, but he looked at Nepeta, and she gave him an assuring thumbs up, along with mouthing something about confidence. Tavros understood, and he put a determined expression on his face. “Oh, right! I’ll try it!” He said, and the boy went out. He moved around, doing what she said, and ended up doing okay, until he realized he was nearing another wall. “Wait, Nepeta, how do I stop?” He cried, and Karkat spoke up.

“Just put the front of your foot down, you have a toe stop thing!” He shouted back, and Tavros tried it immediately. Unfortunately, he ended up tripping himself as he did, and the boy fell flat on his stomach. All three members of the party winced as soon as he made impact. They hoped Calliope knew how to heal bruises.

“Tavros, are you okay?” Jade cried, and He offered her a thumbs up. Karkat immediately came over to him to make sure he was okay, and Tavros started to stand.

“Don’t worry, I’m fine!” Tavros tried to assure him, and Karkat let out a sigh of relief.

“Oh, good. Sorry for not showing you how to stop, Tav.” He said, and Nepeta, who came from leading Jade, apologized.

“Yeah, sorry Tavros. I guess that’s purretty important too. Did you want to try again?” She asked, and Tavros looked like he wanted to say no, but Nepeta had an idea. “Oh, you and Jade can do it together, then hold hands to balance! Karkat and I can show you how to stop!” She suggested, and offered him a discrete wink. Tavros felt a little blush on his face. “Oh, yeah sure, Nepeta. I don’t mind that.” He said, and Jade shrugged.

“I just want to not crash.” She said, and Karkat frowned at the arrangement, but said nothing. “Anyway, can you guys show us how to stop?” She asked, and Karkat spoke up.

“Oh, sure. There’s two ways I do it, but usually people just use the toe stop. It’s at the front, and it helps you stop.” Karkat said, and skated backwards a little to demonstrate. He began to skate towards them, then used the stopping maneuver. “As you can see, your wheels still keep going a little bit after, so give yourselves some room. From there, just kind of bend a little, and use your hands if you need to balance. I know you won’t do this right, but did you want to try, Jade?” He asked, and she looked at him defiantly.

“No problem, ‘coach’.” She said, and she went out a little. Karkat looked at her.

“Okay, skate to me.” He said. He had his arms out, in case he needed to just because he wanted to catch her. When she neared him, she performed it, and stopped with a surprising amount of grace. Karkat raised an eyebrow. “Hm, surprising.” He commented, and she glared.

“Hey, what was that about me not doing this right? Huh?” She asked, and Karkat rolled his eyes.

“Ooh, you stopped once. Do you want a medal?” Karkat asked, and before their fight could escalate more, Tavros spoke up.

“Uh, Karkat? Yeah, I’m not d-doing too great with this. I keep, uh, falling on Nepeta.” He said, clearly embarrassed. Nepeta sighed.

“It’s okay Tavros, you’re learning! Why don’t you try the other way to stop? And maybe you can skate to Jade this time?” Nepata said, and he shrugged. Jade got in position, prepared to stop him if needed.

“Okay, but sorry if I, um, fall again.” He said, and Jade gave him a patient smile.

“It’s okay, do it!” Tavros tried, and after putting his back leg sideways to stop his motion, he successfully stopped himself. Unfortunately, he still tried to catch himself at the last minute, and ended up making himself go just a little too far forward. Jade’s skates rolled back, and with a soft, painless version of a crash, her back was to the wall. Tavros looked down at her nervously, still holding himself in what was almost like a wall push up over her, but with his front knee out. Their foreheads touched and Tavros looked concerned.

“S-Sorry, are you okay?” He asked, and Jade blinked, but nodded.

“Uh, yeah, I’m fine.” She said, He looked down at her, and his blush, which cleared up from earlier, raged back on his face. Karkat looked at the two and his lips fell into a frown, while Nepeta giggled to herself next to Karkat. Eventually, Jade looked up at him.

“Hey, can you get off without falling?” She asked, and Tavros looked at her unsurely.

“Uh, maybe? H-hold on.” He said, and tried pushing himself off the wall. Eventually, he got off, and she appeared from underneath him.

“Nice, Tavros!” Jade called, and Tavros put a hand behind his head nervously.

“Heh, thanks. I think I can try going around now, if you want.” He said, and Jade nodded.

“Yeah, okay!” Jade said, and the two held hands, as Nepeta instructed earlier, and began to go around. Nepeta rolled happily- she was glad things were going well for Tavros and Jade, but Karkat looked a little upset.

“Karkitty, are you okay?” She asked, and Karkat looked up when she spoke to him.

“What? Yeah, I’m fine.” He said, and she smiled at him. She saw him watch Jade and Tavros go around, then believed she realized the problem.

“Oh! Did you want to skate around too, Karkitty?” She asked, and he nodded, absentminded. She grabbed his hand, and the two began to skate. They’d pass Jade and Tavros regularly, who still went slowly. Tavros felt more than happy, while Jade felt a little awkward with their link by their hands for so long. He slowly pulled Jade closer to him throughout the time of skating, and Nepeta found herself doing the same with Karkat.

Karkat looked surprised by her actions, but decided he was just reading into things too much. After all, her boyfriend was right there, with his hopefully girlfriend to be. He hoped he wasn’t being too mean or too nice tonight. Still, when he saw her with Tavros, he almost felt… jealous. It was like their date had been switched up, but he shook his head. No, Nepeta was just being her normal, kind self, and Jade and Tavros were too. Still, he’d have a chance to see her again.

“Nepeta, do you want to go see Jade and Tavros again?” He asked, and She pouted.

“They look like they’re doing well. I mean, they’re a little slow, but nothing we can do can make them go faster.” She said, and Karkat sighed.

“True. They are going at their own pace, and I don’t know if I’ll be able to keep up with Jade’s slowness.” He said, and Nepeta pouted.

“Really? I could probably do it. We may make some people upset though, with a big line of slow people. I don’t know. Did you want to go slower?” Nepeta asked, and Karkat shook his head.

“No, it’s not that. This double date just feels a little divided.” He said, and Nepeta shrugged.

“I guess. It would be nice to be with Jade and Tavros.” She said, and decided that she’d skate up to the pair. Jade turned, and realized Nepeta was behind her, with Karkat in tow.

“Oh, hey you guys!” She said, and Tavros turned.

“Uh, hey! You having a good time, Karkat?” Tavros asked, and Karkat shrugged.

“As good as a time as I can have with Jade in the room.” He said, and Jade growled.

“Well, I was enjoying myself until you showed up, Karkat.” Jade said, and frowned.

“Hey, you’re not exactly the funnest person to be on a double date with either.” Karkat said, and Jade rolled her eyes.

“At least I’m funner than you, Mr. Angry vampire. Seriously, you’re just dragging Nepeta along, scowling at everyone. Now you’re bringing all that over here. What’s your problem?” She asked, and Nepeta piped up.

“Actually Jade, Karkitty wanted to come over and see you! And Tavros too, of course.” She said, and Jade blinked. Both her face and Karkat’s darkened.

“Nepeta!” Karkat practically hissed, and Jade’s cheeks burned. Tavros just looked confused.

“Is that a bad thing?” He asked. “Was I, um, not supposed to see you, or-”

“No, it’s just… nothing. Let’s just skate, okay?” Jade asked, and Nepeta connected herself to Jade’s hand. She offered Karkat her other palm.

“Okay! Karkat, grab a paw, let’s skate!” She said, and despite himself, Karkat grabbed her hand.

“Right, let’s just fucking go.” He said, and the friends went around. Nepeta slowly started making the group go faster, the leisurely pace a little too slow for her. Karkat continued on with ease, but Jade and Tavros tried a few times and attempted not to fall. The four linked kids continued skating, but eventually broke into their pairs from before.

JAFNF Chapter 89

(Saturday, April 10)

The pairs continued like that for a while. Nepeta would spin Karkat around on her skates, while Jade would attempt to stay upright on Tavros. While Karkat and Jade honestly would have preferred skating next to each other, and both even had a right to ask it, as an actual pair on the double date, neither did. They were both far too prideful to break away from their friends for each other, and knew the other’s ego would soar for days on end. So, while Nepeta and Tavros enjoyed what they both thought were the original arrangements anyway, Karkat and Jade both felt a little awkward.

That said, Jade did her best not to show it. While in any other situation, Jade would have (politely, of course) removed her hand from Tavros’ grasp, the one she assumed was his girlfriend stood right next to them. She seemed more than fine with it, and Jade knew he had no ulterior motives. He was a sweet friend, and perfect, in her opinion, for Nepeta. It was clear to her that he was just enjoying the night, and Nepeta was doing the same.

Karkat felt the same way about the situation, but he could do nothing to alleviate it. Besides, he liked Nepeta a lot, and was happy for her. He may have even been a little more pliant to her various whims than usual, but she deserved it. After all, Karkat knew that she liked him for a while. She did everything right, to get him to notice her, yet she was still under the impression that he never understood her feelings.

He wasn’t blind in the slightest when it came to romance. He knew Nepeta liked him, he just never reciprocated the feelings. So, back when he was dating Terezi, he desperately wanted her to stop liking him and move on. Unfortunately, the opposite happened. She suffered in silence next to him. He’d try to make it easier on her, but he didn’t want to lead the girl on either. When that ended, he was nervous, because he wasn’t sure if she’d see it as an opportunity and confess, or what. Thankfully for him, it seemed like the opposite happened, and now she’d finally found someone else. Tavros was just as kind as her, and would hopefully keep her happy, making him free to pursue Jade without worry for her feelings.

So then, why did someone server Jade from him now? Nepeta was usually able to notice enough social clues to at least bring their groups together, so they could break up into their actual couple alignments. He almost felt bad for Tavros, who was stuck away from Nepeta. Still, Karkat chalked off her separation from Tavros as nothing more than a desire to enjoy the event. She seemed to really enjoy skating, and clearly liked someone that could keep pace with her. Karkat didn’t mind that. In fact, he enjoyed hanging out with Nepeta, and he did like skating faster than Jade and Tavros were going.  He knew he probably couldn’t attempt to spin Jade around like he could with Nepeta, and there was a legit concern for Tavros’ safety if Nepeta led him in skating. Still, the idea behind the double date was to enjoy it with the right person, so maybe the issue was just that they chose the wrong event.

Karkat shook his head. He could still have fun here, and maybe save the more ‘date worthy’ activities for whenever they left for that ice cream parlor. That was probably Nepeta and Tavros’ original idea anyway. So, with a shrug, the vampire continued to enjoy the skating rink, and decided he’d formally ask Jade to date him later.

Eventually, the four friends grew hungry, and decided that they’d stop skating, however momentarily, for pizza. Jade hadn’t ever tried the dish, much like Tavros, and Nepeta practically dragged them away to make them eat it.

“You have to!” She’s insisted. “It’s the most trademark American food in trademark America, even though the original thing came furom Italy, or something. Either way, you two should try it!” Nepeta said, and Jade and Tavros shared a smile. They couldn’t say no to Nepeta, even if they wanted to. Of course, they didn’t, but still.

The four grabbed a table and ordered a pizza. Jade, who wasn’t big on grease, only nibbled at her slice, but confirmed that it tasted good. Tavros felt somewhat similar, but ate two slices anyway. Karkat, who’d eaten the food before took two, and Nepeta did the same. They all sat there, around the infamous ‘last slice of pizza’. Jade didn’t want it, and Nepeta didn’t either. Tavros was more than fine without it, and Karkat didn’t care. So, they ended up offering it to the vampire, and Jade decided she’d make fun of Karkat for it later. The four sat in relative peace for a while, and with a shock, they found that it was already eight.

“Hey, Dirk said I needed to be back by ten. How long do you guys want to stay here?” Jade asked, and Tavros put a hand on his chin.

“Well, I can teleport us back whenever, but we still need to go get ice cream. Maybe we should stay for, uh, thirty more minutes or something, then go?” He asked, and Nepeta smiled.

“Okay! Let’s go!” She said, and after cleaning up, led them back out into the ring. Eventually, Nepeta challenged Karkat to a race. The other skaters would be their obstacles, and both Jade and Tavros would be their cheering section. Jade immediately wished Nepeta good luck, while Tavros offered his support to both friends. The two went around, carefully dodging teenagers, small children, and more people. In the end, Nepeta came in after Karkat, but only because she was stuck behind a child for a critical few seconds. Karkat smirked, and despite the fact that Jade was a little impressed, she rolled her eyes.

The green-eyed girl muttered something along the lines of ‘nice race’, but Tavros equally congratulated both friends. Eventually, the clock hit eight thirty and they left. As they returned their skates and put on their regular shoes, Nepeta decided that she enjoyed the skating portion of the night. Tavros agreed, despite the fact that he was a little slow, and Jade did the same. Karkat held open a door for Nepeta, then rudely closed it on Jade. She glared at him, and to compensate, Tavros opened the door for her, and the four left. Jade definitely expressed her thanks to Tavros, who told her it was no problem under a variety of stutters and awkward blushes.

“So, does anyone have any suggestions, or were we just going to a random one?” Tavros asked, and Karkat spoke up.

“There’s one close to here. It’s a Cold Stone creamery, and I think we went there last time.” Karkat said, and Tavros brightened.

“Oh, good, that’ll be easy. Are you guys, uh, ready to go?” Tavros asked, and Nepeta grinned.

“Yes, let’s go!” She said, and immediately, the four disappeared. They resurfaced just outside the ice cream shop, and Tavros let them in.

“Thanks again, Tavros.” Jade said, and he offered her one of his usual, nervous smiles.

“N-No problem!” He responded, and they went inside. Jade ended up with some wonderful mixture of mint chocolate chip, oreos, and cookie dough in a medium ice cream cup / bowl thing. She thanked the cashier, and Nepeta got hers afterwards. She became the proud owner of cotton candy ice cream with rainbow sprinkles, and her smile grew wide with excitement as it the cashier handed it to her. To everyone’s surprise, Tavros just took a vanilla bean milkshake, but Karkat had an ice cream dubbed ‘mudslide’, and it looked heavenly. Once the four kids paid and left, they decided to walk around for a bit. For the most part, stores were open, and since they were in a ‘city square’ type area, there were a multitude of fun places to window shop.

Eventually, Jade and Karkat started to walk behind their little group, to Nepeta and Tavros’ surprise. They urged them not to slow down for the two, and Nepeta and Tavros gave each other weird looks. Both shrugged it off, making comments about the bonding powers of ice cream.

“Hey, I’m just saying, he should hurry up and ask!” Jade said, and Karkat rolled his eyes.

“Please, he had a plan for this. I think he should go through with it. It’s in a month, anyway. John can wait.”

“Okay, but today we were talking, and he said he would be John’s knight. I mean, how cute is that? Plus, wouldn’t it be nice to see them walking around your school, and holding hands, or something?” Karkat’s face turned up into a smirk.

“Of course it would. But who would be more nervous about it?” Karkat asked, then they both answered his question.

“It would be Dave.” They both said, and Jade’s face broke into a grin. “I know, right! He’d be the one constantly attempting to go for the hand, and then failing miserably. I don’t think John would even notice. But John’s dated before, right?” Jade asked, and Karkat nodded.

“Yeah, he dated Vriska Sersket for a while. I never learned why they stopped happening, but they went from like, freshman year to mid sophomore.” He said, and Jade raised an eyebrow.

“You kept up with John, even though you two weren’t friends? That’s nice of you.” Karkat coughed.

“Actually, not really. Caliborn was still feeding on him, and I was a part of that. Plus, I dated Vriska’s best friend around the same time, so yeah.” He said, and Jade, wanting to get him off the subject of his involvement with Caliborn, focused on something else instead.

“Oh, you’ve dated before?” Jade asked, but before Karkat could respond, Nepeta spoke up.

“Karkitty, Jade! We’re going inside this store!” Nepeta called, and Jade smiled.

“Okay, don’t wait, we’ll catch up.” Jade said, and Nepeta shrugged, then went inside. They found a nearby bench, and the duo walked over to it and sat. She looked to Karkat, who remembered her question, and answered with a smirk.

“Yeah, I have. Jealous, Harley?” He asked, and she deadpanned her answer.

“Not really, no.” She said. He raised an eyebrow- she missed a great opportunity for a comeback, and both of them knew it.

“Have you?” Karkat asked, and she wanted to shake her head, but thought about it for a second.

“Actually, I have, if you count that one week thing with Dave. It was the silliest thing.” She said, and Karkat raised an eyebrow.

“Oh yeah, Dave mentioned that. Well, I feel sorry for him. At least he got out after one week.” Karkat said, and Jade glared at him.

“You don’t even know what dating me is like, how can you say you feel sorry for him?” She asked, and Karkat frowned, putting a hand on his chin in thought. His cheeks grew warm, but he continued their conversation anyway.

“I guess I just expected it. But you’re right, and I promised not to judge you until I knew.” He said, and paused for a second. Jade looked surprised that he agreed with her so easily. “So, do you mind if I give it a try?” He asked, and Jade blinked. She her breath stopped for a second, before responding.

“Depends, what are you trying?” She asked, and Karkat locked eyes with her.

“I want to try dating you. Will you be my girlfriend?” He asked, and Jade’s face turned a million shades darker in her blush, but she forced out a roll of her eyes.

“You could have asked me in a cooler way than that.” She said. “But yes, I guess I can make myself try it.” She said, and though her words were harsh, she couldn’t keep the grin off her face. Karkat let out an actual smile too.

“Yes!” He said, then tried to regain some of his cool. “You wouldn’t mind if I- I mean, if you wanted to that is, and it’s optional, but just because we started dating and all this-”

“Karkat, shut up.” She said, and immediately leaned in.

\---

Nepeta sat in the store, a little miffed. Karkat was taking forever to walk in here. She turned to Tavros, who stood by some random item and sighed.

“What do you think is taking them so long? It’s like we swapped.” Nepeta said, and Tavros put a reassuring hand on her shoulder.

“They’re probably fighting again. Or, they could have entered the wrong store, and now they’re looking for us. I don’t know. Do you, uh, even know why those two don’t like each other?” He asked, and Nepeta shrugged.

“No idea, they’re always fighting though. Want to go check on them, and make sure they’re not lost?” She asked, and Tavros nodded. He put down the thing he was admiring and followed Nepeta out. They didn’t spot the two at first, and Nepeta looked back at Tavros. “Do you see them?” She asked, and Tavros looked around

“No, I don’t- oh wait, on the bench!” He said, and Nepeta looked up. She wanted to say their names, and ask why they left, but something stopped her. The two were a little far off, but in sight of Tavros and Nepeta. They would have seen the two, had they not been so focused on each other. Jade and Karkat sat awkwardly close to each other, and they clearly weren’t fighting. “What are they doing?” Tavros asked, and Nepeta watched on silently. As if it was in slow motion, Jade leaned in towards Karkat, whose words stopped, and he smirked, then closed the distance between the two.

They sat like that for a few seconds, before pulling apart. Tavros’ eyes widened, hurt filling his features, and Jade actually smiled at Karkat. He looked like he was going to comment, but he noticed Nepeta and Tavros standing there.

“Oh, hey guys.” Karkat said, acting as if was casual. Jade turned to see them, and gave them an awkward smile.

“Oh, uh, hi? Is something wrong?” She said, and suddenly, it dawned on Tavros. Nepeta was standing there, frozen, and he turned to her. There was a misunderstanding.

“Nepeta.” Tavros said, and she didn’t respond. “They didn’t know.” He said, his voice clearly pained. She turned towards him with an uncomprehending, hurt, upset expression on her face, and it looked like she was about to burst into tears. She sniffled.

“What?” She asked, her words half a whisper, and half a sob. Tavros swallowed thickly. He was more than upset- Tavros was bordering on tears, but he needed to explain to Nepeta.

“They didn’t know. We invited them, they both thought-” He tried, but he couldn’t get out the words. He couldn’t articulate them right, because they were upset, and he honestly felt like crying too. Karkat and Jade, now confused, stood up and came over to their friends.

“Nepeta, are you okay?” Jade asked, and Karkat looked up at Tavros.

“Tavros, what’s wrong, what happened?” He asked, and Tavros shook his head. He wanted to say something, but Nepeta’s words came out in what was almost a whisper.

“Why?” She asked, looking at Jade and Karkat. They were confused beyond words, and Tavros let out a sigh. Misfortune, again. He was used to this by now.

“Karkat, Jade. When we… asked you to do tonight, w-we thought- Nepeta.” He tried again, and despite the fact that he couldn’t figure out how to say it, Karkat understood. His eyes widened.

“You two aren’t dating.” He said, and Jade’s eyebrows furrowed. She was beyond confused now. Tavros nodded, helplessly. “Nepeta, you thought… Oh no.” He said, immediately looking to the girl. He tried talking to her. “Nepeta, I-”

“Shut up!” She cried, and in an instant, started to run. The action only reminded Karkat of how Jade said the same thing only moments ago. Tavros looked at the two, a sad expression on his face. Jade looked like she wanted to run after her, but she was confused.

“I-I’m going after her.” He said, locking eyes with Karkat, who nodded. Jade turned to Karkat with a confused, sad expression on her face.

“Karkat, what’s going on?” Jade asked, and Karkat let out a low sigh, sinking back down on the bench.

“They thought we hated each other.” He said, and her eyes narrowed.

“What? Then why did they invite us together?” Karkat sighed again.

“They didn’t. When they asked, they did it respectively- Nepeta asked me, Tavros asked you, they thought it was different. They didn’t know we liked each other.” He said, and Jade’s eyes suddenly widened in surprise.

“Wait, so you’re saying Tavros asked me out, to be on the date, and Nepeta asked you? So me and Tavros, then you and Nepeta?” She asked, and he confirmed it with a solem nod. “We misunderstood.” She said, and Karkat nodded again, then ran his hands up his face, into his hair.

“We did. We messed up, a lot.” He said, running another hand through his hair.

“Yeah.” Jade said.

“I thought she moved on.” Karkat said, then continued. “I knew she liked me at one point, for a while. I thought, with Tavros, she was over it.” He added, and Jade looked at him sadly.

“You couldn’t have known.” She said, and Karkat snapped at her.

“That doesn’t change anything, she’s crying!” He said, and Jade glared, hurt in her eyes.

“You think I’m happy about this?” She asked him, her voice pulsing with anger. “Tavros is my friend, he’s upset! I fucking hate this!” She shouted, and Karkat looked down.  They were both silent. The two sat there for a while, and eventually, Tavros returned with Nepeta. She was sullen, and obviously upset.

“I-I think we need to go home.” He said, and everyone agreed. They brought Jade back first. It was around nine fifteen, and Jake opened the door, excited.

“Oh, Jade! How-” She pushed pass him, sprinted up to her room and closed the door. “Oh.” He said, and closed the door. The three remaining teenagers disappeared again, and dropped off Karkat this time. Since his parents didn’t know about the whole vampire thing, they dropped him off in the middle of his room, and disappeared to Nepeta’s house. Tavros gave her hand a reassuring squeeze, trying not to notice the quickly wiped and dried tears on her face. He dropped her off inside her room as well, and finally, he teleported back into his own, and fell onto his bed.

JAFNF Chapter 90

(Sunday, April 11)

That Sunday, four sets of concerned people knocked on separate bedroom doors. In the Vantas household, a red sweater wearing Kankri knocked on his brother’s door. Usually, he wouldn’t have been surprised by Karkat’s behavior at all. Well, he wouldn’t have intervened, anyway. But he remembered his younger sibling’s excitement for his date. Of course, he hid it under layers of curses and grouchiness, but it was still excitement all the same.

So at first, when Karkat went through the motions of preparing for and going to church without complaint, Kankri just assumed he was happy. He wasn’t shouting at anyone, or muffling curses under his breath, or even staring at the clock as he waited for his father’s sermon to finish. In fact, even when they returned home from church, he didn’t complain, or anything. Instead, he went straight to his room afterwards, and Kankri hadn’t seen him for the rest of the day.

That was the problem. Kankri hadn’t seen him since church, and that was hours ago. Usually, his younger sibling would have gotten up to do something by now, but Kankri doubted he’d even eaten today. His younger sibling was a lot of things, but lazy wasn’t one of them. He’d always be doing something, even if it was just watching a movie, or doing work. It was possible that he was just talking to his friends in his room, but his behavior had been off enough for Kankri to wonder if he was alright.

So, the older sibling stood, with his hands raised to Karkat’s door, and he softly pounded on the wood.

“What?” His sibling finally called. The voice caught Kankri off guard. It wasn’t angry, or nice. In fact, he just sounded tired, and even upset. Kankri took a breath.

“May I come in?” He asked, and Karkat hesitated for a second, before responding.

“Yes.” He said, and Kankri took it as an opportunity to open the door. He fit himself inside, then closed it behind him. “Did you need something?” Karkat asked, and Kankri looked at the boy. He seemed off, and Kankri decided he was worried. His younger brother sat in a chair, where he apparently wasn’t doing anything.

“Yes, I just wanted to know if you were alright.” Kankri said, and Karkat rubbed a hand over his eyes.

“I’m alright.” He confirmed. “Anything else?” He asked, a hint of his old sass entering his words, but it quickly deflated.

“What’s wrong?” He asked. “You’ve been in your room all day, have you eaten?” Kankri asked, and Karkat shrugged.

“I’m not feeling hungry.” He said, and Karkat noticed he looked awkward standing there. “You can sit, if you need something else.” He added. Kankri did, and he continued on.

“What happened last night, to make you so upset? Did Jade say no?” He asked, and Karkat shook his head.

“No, it’s not Jade. We had a misunderstanding, and now two of my friends are upset. It’s my fault for misunderstanding her invitation.” Karkat said, and Kankri’s eyebrows raised.

“Are they upset with you?”

“No, we just ended up in some unfavorable circumstances.” Karkat said.

“What are the circumstances?” His brother questioned, and Karkat let out a long sigh.

“Last night was a double date. Nepeta, a friend of mine, asked me out earlier. I mistakenly thought she was dating another friend of mine, and that they were just inviting me and Jade to come with them. So, when I asked Jade out, she, still thinking that I thought we were dating, got upset. I knew she liked me for a while, but I thought she moved on. Now she’s upset, Tavros, who thought he was Jade’s date, is upset, and Jade and I both feel guilty. I tried talking to Nepeta last night, but she ran away, and we all just went home after that. So, yeah.” Karkat explained, and Kankri’s eyebrows fell.

“Oh. I assume she’s very close to you, right? Did she know that you knew about her feelings?” Kankri asked, and Karkat shook his head.

“No, she made it pretty obvious, but I never felt the same, so I never told her. Now, she’s upset because the date she thought she went on with me ended up being something else. I don’t know what to do, and I never wanted to lose her as a friend.” Karkat said, and Kankri let out a sigh, digging into the back of his brain to generate some advice.

“Well, I’m positive you won’t lose your friendship after this. I’ve met Nepeta, and I’m aware that she’s an extremely sweet, if just as sensitive girl. Karkat, it’s not your fault that this happened. It was a misunderstanding, and there’s no use attempting to assign blame. Instead, try and help her move on. She may grow a little distant, for a bit, but attempt to help her regardless. I’m sure she’ll realize that you two can still be good friends.” Kankri assured, and Karkat looked up.

“You think so?” Karkat asked, and Kankri offered him a small smile.

“I do. Good luck, Karkat.” He said, then stood. “Also, eat something, it’s already six.” He added, and Karkat turned.

“Really? Fuck, I’ve been in here for a while. Yeah, Okay. Thanks, I guess.” Karkat said, and Kankri put his hand up, making him look righteous.

“It’s no problem Karkat. In fact, I’m more than happy to help you. Also, tell your friend she can follow my tumblr, if she needs more words of encouragement. I trust you know the name of my blog.” Karkat actually let out a laugh at that, and offered his brother a little smile.

“Yeah, I know. I’ll be sure to tell her.”  He said, and stood. Their little conversation ended, and for the first time in a while, it didn’t end with a slammed door or general annoyance. As his brother left to go finish some work, Karkat sighed. Well, if there was one thing he probably could do, it was help Nepeta move on.

__

That same afternoon, Jake knocked on Jade’s door. He knew she was up by then, but hadn’t heard her leave her room, or do anything. She could have been at her island, but something about the way she entered his house the evening prior to Sunday made him doubt it. Clearly, she was upset about whatever happened that night. He hoped Karkat hadn’t done anything to upset her. The teacher would probably glare at the vampire throughout his class period, and Jake was positive Dirk would murder him. That said, the emotional impact on his niece was far more important to him than either of those things, and he wanted to make sure she was alright.

“You can come in, uncle Jake.” Jade said, and he complied. He took a breath.

“Jade, forgive my intrusion, but I was wondering if you were alright.” Jade sighed.

“I’m fine, I just made my friends upset because of a misunderstanding. I don’t know if they blame me or not. You can sit, if you want.” Jake obliged, placing himself in a chair next to a flower.

“Can I ask what the problem is?” Jade asked. “What happened last night, that made you so upset?”

“The misunderstanding. Nepeta asked Karkat out, and Tavros asked me out. I thought I was going out with Karkat, and Nepeta was with Tavros. I guess that explains their behavior at the roller skating rink. But when we went for ice cream, Karkat asked me out. Nepeta and Tavros saw, then I guess Tavros realized the mistake. Now Nepeta’s upset, I don’t know how Tavros is, and Karkat and I feel guilty.” She said.

“Well, how did this misunderstanding happen?”

“I guess when we were all asking each other about the event on pesterchum, intentions weren’t really clear? Nepeta and Tavros probably thought I hated Karkat anyway, so I doubt they expected any confusion. Anyway, I don’t know if they’re upset with me for it, or if I just ruined everyone’s friendships with all this and I don’t know what to do!” She said, throwing her hands up for added effect. Jake gave her the best advice he could, given the situation.

“Well, you keep saying you don’t know, about a lot. Go talk with them, and ask. Ask how they feel about the situation, about you, and make sure your communication is a little clearer. I know the last thing you’d ever want was to be an instrument in breaking either of your friend’s hearts, and talking about it probably won’t come easily, but you should. Get everyone’s feelings on the table, and make sure they’re okay.  Try to do it in person too. That’s really the best advice I can give you, Jade. I’m sorry this didn’t go as planned for all of you.” Jade thought about it, then nodded.

“Yeah, okay. I’ll get everyone together to talk about it. I hope Nepeta’s okay, and Tavros too.” She said, thinking back to the girl last night. Just earlier that evening, the two had been giggling about anything and everything, so it hurt to think that the events of one night could hurt their friendship so dramatically. The girl got up, looking to her phone. She should start with Karkat, then maybe text Nepeta. Jake saw her glance and a fond smile appeared on his face. His niece was always prepared to make things right, a trait he admired. The man stood up, giving his stubble a little scratch.

“You look like you’re off to go do it now. Well, I’ll see you later then Jade, good luck.” Jade offered him a smile.

“Thanks, uncle Jake.” She said, and he put his hand on the door. Before leaving, however, he decided to say one last thing.

“No problem, dear. Oh, and one more thing- congratulations on your new relationship. I wish you the best of luck in those endeavors, Jade.” Jake said, and Jade offered him a small smile.

“Heh, Thanks uncle Jake.” She said, and the man smiled, then closed the door.

__

Tavros sat on his bed. He groaned, covering his eyes in his hands. The young fairy needed to do something, but he couldn’t find anything to take his mind off the situation. After all, he had no idea if Nepeta was okay, he definitely confirmed that he wasn’t okay. He didn’t know how Jade was reacting to the situation, or how Karkat would feel either. To sum it up, that night was a train wreck for all of them, and Tavros didn’t know how to fix it. How could he, when he was a half-trained fairy that didn’t know how to just snap and fix a situation. He knew that was what he needed to do. That was the purpose he existed for, yet he couldn’t seem to achieve it.

This teenager was no fairy godmother, despite however much he wished to be. If he were at his full potential, he could have engineered a solution at the drop of a hat, the wave of a wand, or the snap of a finger. But he was half baked, at best. Yes, he could do some magic, but at this point his skill set was leaning more towards Calliope’s, and not bringing people the happiness he existed to give them. So, he wanted to be able to fix these situations.

The funny thing was, it wasn’t even what happened to him that made him this upset. Not to say that he wasn’t upset at losing Jade to a guy that he assumed hated her. No, he was still upset about that, because despite everything, he liked Jade, and she was an encouraging, kind person. That said, his upset over that didn’t rival his anger at himself. Nepeta was crying, and what should have been a happy moment for a new couple faced tainting with the issues of miscommunication. He should have been able to snap his fingers and fix that. After all, that’s what fairies were meant to do, and while he was in a situation like this, he was supposed to just fix it.

But he couldn’t. Maybe he wasn’t trying hard enough, or maybe he just wasn’t ready. It could have been a skill he developed later in life, or just something he was never up to the task to do. Tavros hoped that last one wasn’t it. Still, whatever the reason was didn’t matter- because he couldn’t just ‘snap, crackle, pop’ a situation into getting better. He watched Cinderella, and it didn’t help. He’d trained, studied, and did everything he knew to gain the ability, so he didn’t understand why he couldn’t just do it. The fairy wanted his friends to be happy. They all deserved it. So, when Tavros couldn’t provide that for them, he felt like a failure.

In truth, he kind of was. He didn’t arrive in time to stop John from being bullied by Calliope’s mysterious brother, or come early enough to make Karkat avoid being a vampire. Maybe if he was better, or learned his skills earlier, he could have been there. Tavros heard loud, heavy foot steps outside his door, and he sat, petrified. He knew who that was, and definitely wanted to avoid him. Gamzee, the troll that lived with Calliope and served as her guardian terrified him. He was huge, and strung out on drugs for most of the time, but Calliope swore he was a good person.

She told him he’d bitten Karkat, and Tavros was ready to cast him aside as a monster. Still, Calliope vouched for him constantly, and even gave him the reasons why he did what he did. Still, Tavros shuddered at the thought of him. He was gigantic, deadly, and constantly high. While he did come from a horrendous situation, and offered him a friendly nickname, Tavros couldn’t seem to get over his fear of the man. Plus, considering that he was born as a conversion species- when if you didn’t turn people monthly, you’d live an agonizing life of pain, Tavros had an image in his mind of the troll sucking his blood while he slept.

When it was impossible to avoid him, Tavros found that the troll smiled in the fairy’s presence. Despite the fact that Tavros was scared of him, he began affectionately calling him Tavbro, and seemed interested in him. The young fairy wanted to like him, really, but after hearing about the way he fought with Caliborn against his friends, or his humongous size and low voice, he couldn’t help but feel scared.

Still, now wasn’t the time to muse on the clown. He heard a door close, and Tavros decided. If he couldn’t solve this situation the way he was supposed to, with magic, he’d have to make do with the other thing he had. Which was, of course, false confidence and the desire to make his friends happy. Tavros’ face grew determined. He wouldn’t let Nepeta continue to be upset because of his lack of adequacy. Within a second, Tavros had a sheet of notebook paper, notifying anyone that needed to know about his presence at Nepeta’s home. The fairy took a deep breath, envisioned Nepeta’s home, and disappeared in a flash of orange light.

___________

AN: Sometimes, you need a person that cares about you to give you advice, or help you feel better. And other times? You need to stand up and get shit done. I know Tavros is coming off a little hard, but I hoped I portrayed his (kind of ridiculous) self-doubts correctly. So, there it is. Next chapter, the person you hopefully want to make sure is okay. And, maybe I’ll include a little one on one time with Gamzee and Tavros. But this Gamzee here has done a lot, been through a lot, and seen… a lot a lot. I know I wrote him off as one of the bad guys earlier in the story, but really, what’s the fun in that? So, while Caliborn is definitely staying our lovely chaotic evil character, and maybe Kurlos will join him with that rank, I think those are the only two I really want to make completely bad. Well, them, and Betty Crocker. At least, of the ones that has relevance. So, catch you next week, stay determined and stuff.

~ST Out! Stay Determined!

Chapter 91

(Sunday, April 11)

Nepeta sat in her room, and still hadn’t left. She ignored texts, ignored knocks, and ignored direct commands from her older sibling. The girl didn’t care. After last night, no one could blame her either. She wasn’t mad. No, she understood what happened, and it was no one’s fault, but she was upset. Maybe it was the fact that she thought she finally, after years of skirting around it, won over Karkat. Maybe it was how hard she tried to get him to notice her, or that sense of excited relief she felt when he said yes, and even sounded excited about it.

Maybe it was the fact that Jade was a close friend of hers, and Nepeta always assumed she tolerated Karkat, at best. He was mean to Jade like he was with everyone else, but Jade was mean back. So, were all the glares, insults and jabs the two sent at each other constantly just methods of flirting the entire time? Nepeta didn’t know, but she realized her invitation was the final push they needed to get together. She put her head back down in despair as she thought about it.

She couldn’t even imagine how Tavros must have been feeling, with having the first person he ever liked just taken away like that.  And Nepeta just watched it happen, as if their kiss, and predictably, the kindling of their relationship happened in slow motion. She received a barrage of texts, all coming with blue warnings. Nepeta didn’t even open them. Apparently, her best friend could tell something was up with her too. Either that, or he needed something.

Regardless, she ignored it. The girl wasn’t in the mood for anything other than curling up in her room. She held the jacket Equius gave her around herself, as if it were some sort of protection. Yet, even Equius could not punch away her feelings. So she sat there, upset because everything hurt, on the inside. The girl thought Karkat finally liked her back, after years of trying to get him to see how she felt. But he misunderstood, thinking the invitation was for him and Jade to come together. At least now, she understood his anxiousness to return to Jade.

Nepeta didn’t hold it against her green eyed friend. She misunderstood the situation as much as Karkat, or even more. Still, it hurt, seeing her close friend kiss her love interest, then ask what was wrong. It wasn’t her fault. Nepeta had not yet reached the point where she searched for someone to blame. There was no one that could have accounted for the situation, and no master hand dictating her life. The only person she had to blame was herself, and even that was questionable, at best.

If she had been clearer, maybe things could have been different. Then again, they probably wouldn’t. Jade and Karkat would still be interested in each other, but at least she’d have the full story on it, and not have the realization set in as a surprise. Plus, now that Karkat knew she liked him, she wasn’t sure if they could even be in the same room anymore. She didn’t hate him. After all, it wasn’t her fault. It was her feelings that changed, not his. He was always a supportive friend for her, and now she had messed it up completely. Karkat probably would want to stop speaking with her, and be disgusted. Before she could think about more, she heard a knock on her door that definitely wasn’t her sister. It was too hard, and too loud.

“Nepeta, it is Equius. May I come in to comfort you?” he asked, and she felt her lip quaver.

“Uh, No, I’m fine Equius, I just wanted some alone time right now.” She said, trying not to let her voice shake. He sighed.

“Nepeta, while I am inclined to respect your privacy as a gentleman, it is quite clear that you are not alright, and it would be unfitting for me, as your closest companion, to leave you. So, my deepest apologies, but if you are decent I plan to come in.” He said, and Nepeta felt more tears fall down her cheeks. She didn’t want anyone here right now!

“No, Equius! Go away, I want to be alone!” He speech had been devoid of cat puns, and Equius knew the situation was dire. “You don’t get it, just leave me alone!” She said again, and Equius sighed, leaning against the door.

“Nepeta, you know that’s not true. I understand you- and whatever you’re going through, involving Karkat or other matters, I’m here to help you. Please, allow me to come in.” He said, and Nepeta screamed at him.

“I said no! If you come in, I’ll go out the window. Leave me alone!” She shouted this time. Her friend hesitated.

“Nepeta, I cannot force myself in here, but please understand that I wish to help you. Please let me in.” He said, his voice almost immeasurably kind. Nepeta wilted at the words, the anger she had from before leaving her.

“I just need some alone time right now, Equius.” She said, and Equius sighed. He had his hand on the doorknob, but let out a long sigh.

“Alright.” He said finally. “I’ll be right downstairs if you need me, Nepeta. I am here for you.” He said, and usually, the words would have put a smile on Nepeta’s face, but her tone remained unchanged.

“Thanks.” She said, and heard Equius walk away. She continued to sulk in silence for a little while longer, until she heard yet another knock on her door. It was more timid than she was used to, and, thinking that it may be her older sister, she slid up to the door and knocked out the message ‘go away’ in morse code. Usually, she could feel the vibrations and leave.

“Oh, uh, I’m s-sorry, I don’t really know Morse code.” The voice said from the other side, and despite the drying tears on her face, Nepeta looked up in confusion. “Nepeta, it’s me, Tavros, and I was, uh, w-wondering if I could come in?” He said, and Nepeta paused for a second. “I just wanted t-to, uh, talk.” He added, his voice getting quieter, and sad. Nepeta mumbled something, but it was clear he couldn’t hear.

“You can come in.” She said again, and apparently, Tavros put his hand on the doorknob.

“Eww, w-why is it wet?” He asked aloud, before opening the door and seeing Nepeta. She sat, swaddled in both stuffed animals and the green jacket she wore all the time. The girl looked up at him, and for the first time that day, her voice grew worried.

“Are you okay?” She asked. Tavros let out a sigh. He definitely looked disoriented. Nepeta saw the bags under his orangey brown eyes, and could tell he didn’t put thought into his hair, or anything else. He wore a sweatshirt with a stain on it, and looked more tired than anything. Tavros looked down at her as he answered.

“I’m used to it.” He said, his voice getting sad for a moment. “But you’re not- are you okay?” He asked, and she looked away from her as she answered.

“No.” She said truthfully, and Tavros took it as an invitation to sit beside her, removing one of her stuffed animals from her pile.

“I, uh, passed Equius on the way up. I explained the gist of the issue, he said he was worried.” Tavros said. “I am too.” He added, and Nepeta didn’t say anything. They sat in silence for a while, both contemplating what they’d say. Tavros fiddled with the stuffed animal in his lap for a while, and Nepeta fell back into silently thinking over the events. When Tavros’ words came, they appeared suddenly, and startled Nepeta. “I’m sorry this happened.” He said finally, and Nepeta looked surprised.

“It’s not your fault, Tavros. It was a misunderstanding.” She said, her voice getting sad, but Tavros shook his head.

“N-No, it is. This kind of thing always happens around me. Calliope says, because I’m a fairy, I can fix situations like this, b-but I can’t. I can never just go ‘bippity boppity boop’ and make everyone happy again. I-It doesn’t work, no matter how h-hard I try to learn magic, I can’t just-” He paused, waving his arms around in frustration. Nepeta frowned.

“Who said it was your job to fix stuff like this?” She asked, and Tavros shook his head.

“It always had been. I’m always finding myself in situations where bad stuff has happened, and I know I’m supposed to fix it. That’s what I was born to do, and now I-I’m facing these situations and don’t know how to fix it. If I was a good fairy, I would just be able to snap and you’d stop being sad and everything would just fix itself. That’s what I’m supposed to do!” He said, and sighed. “So, I’m sorry Nepeta. I wish I could make this better for you.” He said, and Nepeta put a hand on his arm. Despite the fact that she was upset, she wanted to make sure he felt better too.

“It’s okay, Tavros. And you are helping, by being here.” She said, looking down. “I didn’t let Equius in, but I know you’re upset about Jade and you’re still here to see me, all worried about my issues. That’s really kind of you, and I don’t want you to be upset.” She said. Tavros looked away.

“But that’s not helping at all. I m-mean, you’re still sad.” He said. “I don’t know how to just make it better.” He said, and Nepeta looked at him. Even sitting, Tavros was still taller than the girl.

“Yes, but so are you. We both had the same thing happen to us. I just- don’t know how I’m going to face them.” She said. “And I’ve been trying for years to get him to like me, I thought, m-maybe he finally…” She tried, but her bottom lip started to quiver. Tavros, alarmed, put an arm around her in what he hoped was a soothing motion.

“Shoosh, Nepeta don’t cry. I’m sure Jade and Karkat will still like you. They wouldn’t stop being friends with you over this.” He said, and Nepeta couldn’t help it- she started crying. Still, she tried to speak, and she hated feeling this upset.

“Bu-But now he knows, and he has a girlfriend, a-and-”

“H-Hey.” He said, trying to get her to look at him. “This isn’t the first time he’s had a girlfriend. I don’t know if you’ll move on from him quickly or not, but he won’t stop being your friend. And if he does, he never d-deserved someone as nice as you in the first place. But I know Karkat, and he’s probably worried about you right now, more than anything.” Tavros said.

“But now I pushed him to Jade, on accident, and I’ve m-messed up your crush on her too, and now I just can’t help but think that I still h-had a chance, if I hadn’t done that!” She blubbered the words, and Tavros didn’t answer for a few minutes, rubbing her back to help her get it out of her system. Even with his limited knowledge and experience on comforting people, Tavros decided that sometimes, people just had to cry. When she finally slowed down a little, and her hiccupping sobs became sniffles, Tavros spoke.

“I k-know it’s hard when someone doesn’t feel the same way about you as you do about them. Jade and Karkat have probably liked each other for a while now.” He said, thinking back to their long history of arguments (since then, he decided that they were just some strange method of flirting) and gauged her reaction. She almost looked like she was going to start crying again, and Tavros decided he’d hurry up and make his point. “B-But! You dealt with that before, with Karkat, n-now isn’t any different. You even told me before that Karkat didn’t feel the s-same when we started this whole thing, but think of it this way! You guys were still friends then, a-and I’m sure you will be now.” Tavros added.

“R-Really?” She asked, and he nodded solemnly.

“Definitely.” Nepeta sniffled a little, trying to push some of the slowly drying tears off her face with her hands. Tavros made a piece of tissue and offered it to the girl. She took it gratefully and eventually her sniffles stopped too. Tavros sat with her supportively.  They sat there in quiet for a minute before Nepeta spoke up.

“Thank you.” She said, and this time Tavros was surprised.

“For what?” He asked, and she elaborated.

“You made me feel better. All the stuff you said about not being able to help wasn’t true, you did.” She said, and Tavros blinked, then a sigh escaped his lips. They turned up into a slight smile, despite the fact that he didn’t really fix the situation.

“Thanks Nepeta. I haven’t really, uh, solved it, but thanks.” He said, and Nepeta looked at him.

“Are you okay, over Jade?” She asked. Tavros let out a sigh, and scratched his head.

“I’m disappointed. She was the first girl I’ve ever liked, and she’s nice. But I haven’t been, uh, into her for years, like you. I don’t know her as well as you know Karkat, so I guess it’s not as bad for me. She was just pretty, and, uh, nice, and I liked her personality a lot.” Tavros said. Nepeta pouted.

“Yeah, but that was your furrst crush. I wish it could have gone better.” She said, and Tavros shrugged.

“That’s okay. I’m really more focused on figuring out this m-magic thing anyway. But, uh, I wish it could have too.” He said. The two friends sat in a more comfortable silence for a few seconds, but Tavros looked down at the stuffed animal still in his hand. This one was a stuffed bull creature, and it looked cute. “I like your stuffed animals, b-by the way. I’ve never s-seen your room.” Tavros said, and Nepeta looked up at him curiously.

“You didn’t see it last night, when you teleported in here?” She asked, and Tavros shook his head.

“It was, uh, a little dark, and I couldn’t really make things out, b-but, I can see it now.” He said, and Nepeta smiled.

“Do you like it?” She asked. Tavros looked up at the room. The walls were littered (this cat pun thing was cat-ching on) with various drawings. He nodded enthusiastically, and Nepeta smiled.

JAFNF Chapter 92

(Sunday, April 11)

Tavros felt a little pause in the conversation, and was determined not to let it turn into silence.

“Y-Yeah! I like your drawings.” He looked through them. He saw her art style change over the years, and could tell that she’d improved, from the older ones to the newer ones. Most of the older drawings featured cats. He noticed a few where she’d drawn herself, along with figures that represented Equius and Karkat. The more recent ones seemed to include John and Dave, along with a bunch of hearts. She had more pictures of herself and Equius, then Sollux. At one point, he even saw a few images of him. Sometimes he’d be standing next to her with his fairy prince clothing on, while she dressed as a warrior. It was touching to see the art on the wall, and his words were honest. “Is that me?” He asked, pointing at one he liked. She smiled.

“Yeah! I liked your fairy prince, and my warrior, so I drew them together! You don’t mind, right?” She asked, and Tavros shook his head.

“N-No! I like it a lot. The flowers in our hair look nice.” He said. Nepeta looked at her friend, slowly coming out from beneath her pile of stuffed animals.

“We should do it in real life sometime!” She said, and Tavros looked confused.

“Put flowers on our heads?” He asked, and she nodded excitedly.

“Yeah, we make flower crowns, and they look purretty! You should try it!” She said, actually purring. Tavros smiled at her.

“T-That sounds fun. I don’t, uh, exactly know how, but I don’t, uh, mind trying.” He said, and Nepeta stood.

“Want to do it right now?” She asked, and Tavros offered her one of his nervous smiles, but nodded.

“Sure!” He said, and Nepeta led him out of her room. When the two surfaced, Equius immediately walked to greet them. He could see the two were doing better, and even Tavros, who’d entered looking upset, seemed more at ease.

“Equitty, thanks for being here! Do you want to come with us? We’re picking flowers!” She asked, and Equius blinked.

“Why are you participating in such an activity?” He asked, and Tavros shrugged.

“We were, uh, going to make crowns.” He said, and Nepeta grinned.

“Yeah, like ancient Greek warriors!” She said, and Equius raised an eyebrow.

“Actually Nepeta, the warriors that wore wreaths were in Rome, and they were more for marriage celebrations in Greece. But, if you’ve decided to do that, I’m positive that I cannot stop you. Which means, yes- I’ll accompany you.” He said, and Tavros blinked at him.

“How did you learn all of that?” Tavros asked, and Equius shrugged modestly.

“I’m a fan of fine classical art from those time periods. It would be unheard of for me not to know at least a little of the culture.” He responded, and Tavros looked up when he heard Nepeta.

“Guys, sis gave us a basket! Let’s go outside!” She said, and the two followed Nepeta outside her home, to her backyard. The sight that befell Tavros was a spectacular one. He saw what appeared to be an endless field of wildflowers, all in full bloom with the loveliness of spring.

“Woah!” He announced, drawing Nepeta’s attention. She’d already entered the field, and for someone that was so sad only moments ago, she certainly didn’t seem like it now. Nepeta waved at him, not minding that yes, she may have stepped on a few flowers. Tavros felt a little color dance across his cheeks, and he felt a giddy smile spread across his face, along with a rush of energy. The girl giggled, and turned to see Tavros.

“Do you like it? It’s spring, so they’re finally all blooming! I wanted to make my furrst crown of the season to celebrate!” She said, and proceeded to bend down and pick a few flowers. Tavros stared at the scenery for a second before nodding, and following after her. He noticed she’d grab a few in an area, then go off somewhere else.

Tavros and Equius followed her example, but Equius found himself accidentally breaking stems before they could make it into a basket. With a sigh, he attempted to handle them more delicately, and proceeded to fail a variety of times. They kept up little bits of conversation throughout the flower picking, and eventually filled the basket.

The fairy enjoyed the soft breeze of the outside air, and they decided they’d work on their crowns outside. Nepeta led them to a table overlooking their back porch, pulled up a third chair, and got to work.

“S-So, what do I, uh, do?” Tavros asked, and Nepeta picked out quite a few flowers. She already had multiple pairs of scissors and floral tape and wire. She wanted to start, but stood up suddenly.

“Oh wait, we need water, so they don’t wilt! One second efurryone!” She said, and left, predictably to get some water. Tavros turned to Equius.

“Have you done this before? It looks kind of hard.” He said, and Equius looked at the fairy.

“Well, it’s not a difficult procedure. I just seem to have some difficulty bending the stems without breaking them. I’m afraid I’m not skilled at the practice, but Nepeta is, so I attempt, for her sake.” Equius said, and Tavros nodded.

“Oh, okay. You two must be close.” Tavros commented, and Equius responded without doubt in his voice.

“We are. She is my closest friend, and I care about her more than words can measure. I suppose I should thank you for making her feel better today. She wouldn’t let me in when I tried, so thank you for being there for her.” Equius said, but Tavros shook his head, curling into himself.

“No, I wasn’t. I’m a fairy, I was supposed to snap and make things better. I couldn’t do that- I failed everyone. I’m sorry.” Tavros said, and Equius frowned.

“Tavros, you haven’t failed. I can’t pretend to comprehend your role as a fairy, but know this- you did make things better. Had you not been here, she would have still been crying. She’s not, so thank you.” He said, and Tavros looked a little unconvinced, but Nepeta came back.

“Well, I tried. You’re welcome, Equius. But I would do it any day, she’s way too nice to d-deserve something like, uh, this.” Tavros said, and Equius nodded. Nepeta smiled.

“I’m back!” She said, and struggled with two large bowls of water. Tavros, after confirming that her sister was out of eyeshot, quickly levitated the bowls over to the table. He set them down, and Nepeta put her hands on her hips. “Okay, are you ready to make yours? You should pick up some furlowers furst.” She said, and Tavros levitated a bunch from the basket, and sorted through them. He decided on a lot of white daisies and dandelions, then put the rest back. Equius took the opportunity to choose some too, and eventually, he was satisfied with his choices of blue flowers. Nepeta sat, and picked up three of her flowers.

“Okay, you start with three, and put them together like this, then tie them, but make sure it’s a little loose. From there, put them together in a braid. Oh, and you put your extras in this bowl so they don’t wilt!” She said, motioning to her bowl. She placed her extra flowers inside by the stems and smiled. Tavros and Equius did the same thing, then Tavros tried braiding the flowers. “When it gets about an inch long, you can add another flower in.” Nepeta said, demonstrating as she did it.

“Uh, l-like this?” Tavros asked, attempting to put one in. It took a few tries, but he did it successfully, and Nepeta nodded.

“Yeah! It can be fun, and it turns out really purretty. You have to make it long though.” She said, and Tavros nodded, then continued working. They did it in silence for quite a few minutes, until Equius began to mutter under his breath.

“Fiddlesticks.” He said, looking down at his craft. Unfortunately, he broke more than a few flowers, and Nepeta looked over at him.

“Equius, relax your hands! They’re not wires, You can’t manipulate them like a robot!” She said, and Equius let out a huff.

“I am attempting this Nepeta, but my hands are quite strong.” He said, and Nepeta sighed, but he seemed to follow her advice. Tavros continued doing it as well, then looked over. Nepeta’s was almost twice the size of his, yet she still seemed intent on elongating it. The fairy focused on making his longer, and eventually, reached what he assumed would be long enough. Nepeta had already finished her first, and seemed to be close to completing her second. Tavros’ eyes widened at her skill.

“Wow, that’s really good, Nepeta!” He said, and he wasn’t exaggerating. Hers (both) looked professionally done, and appeared well made. Her giggle sounded like bells, and she smiled sweetly at him.

“Thanks, Tavros! Yours looks nice too! I’ll show you what to do with the end of it in a second.” Nepeta stood, and walked over to Equius. She measured it around his head, much to his surprise, then took some wire. “Okay, now you just tie it together!” She said, and Tavros nodded, watching her attach the two ends. They came together, and she placed it atop her stronger friend’s head. “Done!” She said, and Tavros tried to follow her example. Unfortunately, as he tried, the stems seemed to be slipping from his fingers. After a few failed attempts, Nepeta’s careful hands ghosted over her his, and she held them together as Tavros wrapped the wire around.

“Hey, It’s done, right?” Tavros asked, and Nepeta grinned.

“Yep! Congrats Tavros, you just made your first flower crown.” She said with a grin, and Tavros felt a grin stretch across his face.

“Thanks, Nepeta.” He said, and she clasped her hands together.

“Ooh, we should take pictures! This is Tavros’ first time hanging out, Equitty! Put your crown on.” Nepeta commanded, and Equius frowned at the broken string of forget-me-nots in his hand. Nepeta saw the problem, and handed him her second crown. “Here, use this.” Equius waved his hand.

“No, it’s fine Nepeta, I don’t mind.” He said, but Nepeta put a hand on her hip.

“Equitty, I made it fur you! It’s a gift, purrlease take it.” She said, and Equius raised an eyebrow, but held the crown.

“Hm, thank you for the gift I suppose. Well, it seems that I have no choice, I’ll join you.” He said, and Nepeta smiled.

“Yay! Let me get my phone.” The girl dashed away, and came back in seconds. Tavros blinked at her speed, but shrugged it off. She practically bounced over to them, and pulled up her camera. She placed her crown upon her head, and Tavros and Equius both decided to do the same. She put up her arm, but she was too short to capture the two taller boys effectively.

“Let me.” Tavros said, and began levitating the object. He raised it up, and willed a finger like apparatus to take pictures of them. They did a few with silly faces, and while Tavros and Nepeta both stuck their tounges out at each other, Equius’ face looked hilariously stoic, and as they flipped through the images, Tavros and Nepeta giggled. The scrolled through the pictures they took, until they went to the end, and went back one more. Unfortunately, it was one of the ones Nepeta and Jade took the evening before, when they both made themselves look extraneously overdressed.

“Oh, uh, that’s not one of them.” Nepeta said, and Tavros blinked, then nodded.

“Oh, I uh, guess not. You two look nice though.” Tavros said, and Nepeta smiled at the compliment.

“Thanks, Tavros.” They looked down at the image again, and Tavros scrolled on. Equius sat on his phone, while Tavros and Nepeta huddled over hers. He saw them dressed like goddesses, magicians, and even… men? “We were being spys in that one.” Nepeta giggled, and Tavros nodded. They scrolled to the next one, where they wore outfits that reminded him of black widow. “We were spys in that one too. It was nice.” She said. Tavros frowned after realizing she looked sad, and tried to distract her. Luckily, one came in the form of a text with a green notification.

Upon closer inspection, it was from Jade, and she sent it to him, Nepeta and Karkat at the same time. Tavros read the message. Jade apologized for the events of the previous night, and asked them all if they could meet up and talk about it in person. Apparently, she wanted this to happen tomorrow, after Nepeta and Karkat left school. The green-eyed girl shared a glance with Tavros, and immediately responded for both of them. They would be there.

____________--

AN: Hey, another short chapter! So, this is the last break up that I did of what would have been a combination of this chapter, along with the previous two. That felt a little long for me, so here’s to having

JAFNF Chapter 93

(MONDAY APRIL 12)

John and Dave, the actual protagonists of the story, met each other at John’s door that morning. When John opened the door, he saw his cool friend and grinned. They offered each other their usual greetings, one of which was a hug. John let go quickly, far too quickly for Dave’s tastes, and welcomed his friend inside. After all, they still had time to kill before they needed to leave for school. Today John’s dad was there, despite his busy schedule, and he offered them a smile before shoving pancakes in their faces. Dave stopped eating his usual, 90% sugar breakfast at home in favor of whatever was cooking at the Egbert household. After all, it was usually good. With that said, Dave graciously took a seat and a stack of pancakes.

In all honesty, Dave felt just as ‘at home’ in John’s house as he did in his own, or even Jake’s. While his concept of home never really revolved around an actual building, it did rely heavily on the people he felt comfortable with. If there was one thing that could describe how he felt around John’s family, it was comfortable. Dave loved Roxy and ‘Dad’, as he’d taken to calling the man, and he couldn’t feel more comfortable around John. Well, except when John would ask him questions about his dating life- which happened more and more often, now that Karkat and Jade happened. Both texted them about their recent romantic developments, but neither seemed particularly happy, for obvious reasons.

Karkat already gave John ‘the rundown’ of what happened Saturday night, and he definitely wasn’t up for making Nepeta relive the feeling. They both felt awful for both her and Tavros, but they knew the friends would work it out. Their friends always did. So, that left Dave and John. The two already realized that they’d be dodging around awkward silences today if they went to their lunch table, so before even entering the schooling institution, they decided they’d steer clear of the lunch room. The two boy’s conversations ranged from anything to everything, but at one point, John asked Roxy about Sollux.

She laughed at the question, and explained that he kept trying to ‘hack her back’. Of course, Roxy gave him tons of credit. He didn’t have years of experience like her, but once something caught his attention he stuck with it. John vaguely remembered Equius mentioning a few things about Sollux and Roxy’s hacking sessions. Apparently, the two had gone in and messed with random stuff around the internet. Dave mentioned that he wouldn’t know her if she got caught hacking by the CIA. She sent back a fiery reply to the ironic words, and Dave smiled. He liked Roxy, a lot.

As they finished breakfast and confirmed they had what they needed for school, John put their dishes away. Dave protested, but John ended up putting the dishes away anyway. With a few grins, and hugs to both of his parents, John led Dave out the door. Dave said his goodbyes and followed John out. Eventually, the two teens walked down the short path to their school. John looked up at Dave, and from his position slightly behind him, he let out a little sigh. Dave was either rapping or rambling. Either way, it involved a long series of metaphors and obscure references. John realized he appreciated his friend, a lot. He tugged on his red sleeve.

“Dave?” John asked, and the albino/blonde stopped and turned.

“Yeah, John?” He asked, and John felt the corner of his mouth tug upwards.

“I really appreciate you. Thank you for being my friend.” He said, and Dave looked at the boy in surprise.

“Of course, John. What brought all of this on?” John’s eyebrows lowered, thinking about it.

“I don’t know, nothing especially, I guess. You were just doing your rap/ metaphor thing, and I realized how lucky I am to be your friend. I mean, you’re the coolest person I’ve ever met, and you kind of opened up a whole new world of possibilities for me. Without you, I never would have met Jade or Rose. I never would have become a hunter, or known Roxy, or any of the other great things that happened to me. So, thank you, Dave. You mean a lot to me, and I’m really lucky to be friends with you. So, I guess- just thanks, for being the coolest douche bag I know.”

Dave was awed into silence. John looked up, then put a hand behind his hair in embarrassment. “Ah, sorry. I was kind of rambling.” He said, and Dave muttered something John couldn’t make out. “What?” The albino seemed to regain awareness of his surroundings again.

“Oh, sorry, I did a Freudian slip thing, it’s a weird habit. Thanks, John.” The John in question rolled his eyes. Dave did stuff like this all the time.

“You’re welcome. It’s all true. Anyway, we’re almost at school. But I really appreciate you, bro.” John said, and Dave raised an eyebrow.

“Yeah, you too broseph.” Dave said, his voice lowering into a typical high school sports enthusiast’s voice. John laughed.

“That’s chill, dude.” John added, making himself sound like a surfer. Dave snorted at that.

“Egbert, oh man. Wow, nice voice.” He said, and John laughed alongside him.

“You never know bro, I could totally be, like, a gnarly surfer, or whatever.” Dave just shook his head.

“In Washington? Oh man, I can picture it now. John Egbert is an extreme surfer extraordinaire, who surfs in the icy waters of the fucking arctic-”

“Dave, Washington isn’t that cold. It’s spring, and you’re still wearing your hoodie.” John cut in, and Dave glared.

“Yeah, well when you spend the first part of your life in Texas, then you can talk about the cold. Until then, the hoodie will stay on, Egbert.” John chuckled.

“Hey, I wouldn’t mind going to Texas. Living in the big city sounds fun.” John paused, thinking about it. “I don’t think I could duel dad on a roof though, unless you count our prank wars.” Dave laughed.

“Well, it counts. You’re still in a constant state of anxiety, wondering when the next trap is coming. Bro would leave smuppet traps all over the place. Do you remember me telling you about it?” Dave looked at him curiously through his shades, and John nodded enthusiastically.

“I think I may have liked it, since I don’t hate puppets like you. I guess it could have been weird, but fun too. Going to Texas would be cool though, and doing whatever you did for sixteen years.” John said, and Dave looked unimpressed.

“Eh, I wouldn’t get my hopes up. Constantly moving around, from apartment to apartment and living on the run from hunters isn’t as fun as you think it would be. It was pretty exciting though. There’s six flags in Texas though, so that’s a thing.” Dave said, and John smiled a little wistfully.

“I’d like to go to an amusement park in Texas one day. Or just have an adventure, you know?” John said.

“What do you mean?” He asked, and a soft smile hit John’s face.

“Like, just take a random day out of life and go do… whatever the heck we want. Even if it’s just driving around, or meeting new people, or something totally insane that you only do once, you know?” John asked, and Dave smirked.

“I get the idea, but who is ‘we’?” John looked at his friend.

“Well, us! I know we had that big adventure a while back, but maybe something with just the two of us would be nice. Just have zero warnings or planning, and go for whatever you want, you know?” Dave fought off his incoming blush, because ‘just the two of us’ sounded a lot more romantic than he was sure John intended it to be.

“You want to do that one day?” He asked instead, and John grinned.

“I don’t just want to, I’m pretty sure we’ll do it.” He responded. Dave gave him a smile.

“Oh yeah? Sure then, we’ll do it.” Dave said, and John looked up at him.

“You really think so?” John asked, and Dave lowered his shades for a minute to offer John a wink.

“I know so. It’s on the to do list.” Dave said, and John grinned.

“Alright then, it’s done.” John said, and they neared John’s classroom. “Hey, this is where I drop you off. I’ll see you at lunch, Dave.” The boy added, and Dave smirked, giving his friend a one armed hug.

“Yeah, you too. Later.” Dave smirked as the two parted, and he walked into morning math.

_____________________________

At lunch, Dave and John found each other in the library. Or, Dave really found John. The nerdy boy was helping Ms. Maryam shelve books, and Dave wordlessly joined in. He hadn’t forgotten their conversation this morning, and decided that he would do it. It went on his mental bucket list, and Dave promised himself that they would go, one day. When he met John again, he gave his friend a small smile, and leaned against a book case.

“You know, I thought about what you said this morning.” Dave said, and John raised an eyebrow.

“You thought about what would happen if Roxy became a maniacal government hacker, then teamed up with Jade and we had to fight them with the power of friendship?” John asked, and the corner of Dave’s mouth twisted upwards, making him smirk involuntarily.

“No, but that would have been funny. I was talking about when you said you appreciated me.” Dave said, and John’s eyebrows lifted. He noticed he had his glasses in his near white hair, and John could clearly see the freckles spread across the center of his face. His ruby red eyes fell on John’s, and he continued. “You know, you did the same thing for me, right?”

“How?”

“If I hadn’t met you, I wouldn’t know Karkat. I probably still wouldn’t be allowed to have friends over.” He started. “I would still be hunted, and Dirk wouldn’t have ended up with Jake. Jade wouldn’t have ever come here, or met Karkat. I would probably just be aimlessly wandering the halls of this school, and been bored as fuck. I wouldn’t have had my first sleepover, or ever gone to a park, or any of the other crazy, wonderful things that have happened because of you. “ Dave paused, then continued.

“I would still be wearing those pointy anime shades, and I wouldn’t know how to control… that side of me. I wouldn’t know what it’s like to have a best friend, or know what being in l-happy. I wouldn’t be as happy. You opened up my entire world, John. So, thank you for being my friend. You mean the world to me.” He said, hoping John would ignore his slip up. A heated blush spread across John’s face, and he smiled. Dave’s words really stuck a chord within the boy, and he finally thought about how their lives were so entangled with each other.

“Dave, you’re welcome. You mean the world to me too. Actually, this calls for a bro hug.” John said, and Dave rolled his eyes, but walked into his shorter friend’s open arms.

“Wow John, I didn’t know we had a name for hugging now.” Dave said, his head nestled partially in John’s hair. John, whose face fell between his neck and shoulder laughed.

“We do, there’s bro hugs, like these, where you can’t let go for at least a minute, and there’s hallway hugs that are just half hugs as we drop each other off. It’s not a complicated system.” John huffed, but still held onto his best friend.

“Well, I don’t want any complications. Houston, we don’t have a problem.” Dave said, and it earned a laugh from John. They stood like that for a few more seconds, and Dave honestly felt like he could kiss John right there. Still, before he could completely split his friendship in half, Karkat appeared, offering the two a few quiet claps.

“I’m impressed, you two. Very emotional.” John let go to turn to Karkat, and stuck out his tongue. However, it was Dave that responded.

“What, are you jealous?” He asked, putting a hand on his head and doing a pose that screamed fabulous. Karkat smirked.

“Nope, I have a girlfriend. But neither of you two do. Still, I swear you two do the most homosexual things two platonic best friends could do.” Karkat said, and John rolled his eyes.

“Karkat, I am not a homosexual.” John said, but before Dave could deflate, Karkat crossed his arms.

“Hm, orange creamsicle robot said otherwise.” Karkat commented, and John blushed.

“Hey, that was different. He was in love with me first, and already my best friend. I grew into that. Besides, he was a robot.”

“He was a guy though, right?” Dave spoke up, and John sighed.

“Okay, I’m… hetero flexible, under some circumstances.” Dave’s perfect poker face came on.

“Circumstances specific to being your best friend?” Dave asked, and John rolled his eyes, then shoved him.

“Whatever, Dave.” John said, and Dave resisted the urge to break into a grin, because technically, John didn’t say no. Karkat looked at him smugly, before John turned to the boy. “So, I heard about you and Jade. Took you long enough.” John said, raising his eyebrows suggestively. Karkat crossed his arms, but they could tell he was happy.

“Whatever, douche muffin. I finally asked, she said yes, and now I have to deal with a shit ton of emotional stress I thought I was done with. Whoop- de- fucking do.” Karkat said, and John laughed.

“Come on, don’t lie to me, I know you’re excited about this. I’m sure the stuff with Nepeta will work itself out, if you’re just honest with her. And as for Jade- well, I’m sure you two will be very happy together.” John said, and Dave snorted.

“More like very angry together. They’re like fire and ice- they both give each other sick burns, and actually enjoy themselves. Karkat’s been so much more mellow since he started raging at Jade, it’s adorable.” Dave commented, and John let out an aww noise while Karkat shot glares of poison at his friends.

“I’m not any more fucking mellow, I just have an outlet now. Fuck you both.”

“Congratulations to you too, Kit Kat.” John said, and Karkat looked at him in confusion, then distaste.

“Oh fuck no, not more nicknames. I get called shouty, shorty, KK, fucking Karkitty and now this? Fuck you Egbert, I’m not a piece of candy. And certainly not one that’s meant to be broken, how weak is that?” He asked, and Dave put a hand on his chin.

“I don’t know, Shouty. That was pretty clever, I think we should keep it.” Dave mused, and John nodded, clearly pleased.

“See, Dave likes it! It’s a thing now, Karkat. Have you two kissed?” John asked, and Karkat was momentarily distracted from the nickname. His face darkened in color.

“Yeah, after I asked her out.” Karkat said, and John’s grin split his face in two. He looked at Dave, who seemed to know exactly what he was thinking.

“John. He’ll kill you.”

“Worth it! John said, and Karkat broke in.

“What’s ‘worth it?”

“Jade and Karkat, sitting in a tree.” John said, and Karkat’s poison glare came back. Also, that totally sounded like a Pokémon attack.

“Egbert, don’t you fucking dare.”

“K-I-S-S-I-N-G!” He said, his voice louder. A few people looked towards the three boys, and Karkat clamped a hand over John’s mouth.

“Don’t you fucking dare. Never again, John Egbert. Also, don’t try to lick my hands, they’re not clean.” Karkat added, and John pouted. The boy clearly tried to say something, and Karkat made a tsking noise at him. “Nope. John, I’m not releasing this hand until you swear not to sing that about me ever again.” He said, and John rolled his eyes, but nodded. Karkat let his half dead hand off the boy’s mouth.

“Eww, Karkat! That’s gross. I’m sorry, geez.” John said, and Karkat shrugged.

“You deserved it. Anyway, It’s going to be awkward as fuck in Mr. English’s class. You don’t think he’ll tell me to stay away from his bloody daughter, right?” Karkat said, using a horrible mockery of an English accent. John giggled, but Dave responded.

“Doubt it, he and Dirk love you. Also, she’s not his daughter, she’s his adopted niece. I think she almost called Dirk dad once- that was awkward.” Dave added, and Karkat shrugged.

“I guess. Still, your whole family is like, badass fighters. You and your brother are vampire, sword wielding, robot making ninjas, while Mr. English is a hunter and Jade’s a werewolf. You have to be the most dangerous four people alive, that live together. Seriously, are Jake and Dirk Mr. and Mrs. Fucking smith, or something?” Karkat asked, and Dave smirked.

“Yeah, we’re dangerous. On that note, don’t break Jade’s heart, or whatever romancey rom com bullshit. I will be eternally pissed at you if you do.” Dave said, and Karkat rolled his eyes.

“Woah, over protective older brother much? Look, I won’t break Jade’s heart. I like her, a lot, and I don’t want to break up with her. She’s fantastic, and as much as it pains me to say it, I enjoy spending time with her. I have no intention to leave her in tears, or whatever you’re thinking.” Karkat said, and Dave rolled his eyes under his shades.

“Alright, good.” He said, and Karkat, despite himself, broke out into a grin, while Dave smirked. “That was so ironic.”

“That was great, I can check a cliché off the list.” Karkat added, and John squinted at the two. At times, John’s friends were definitely weird, a fact John noticed as they geeked out (ironically, on Dave’s part) about romance clichés. So yes, they were definitely strange, and John shook his head at both of them. Because no matter how weird they could get, they were his friends, and John wouldn’t trade them for the world.

Later that day, John began to exit Jake’s classroom. As he neared the door, he noticed a crumpled piece of notebook paper on the floor. Of course, it didn’t phase him in the slightest, but he bent to pick it up anyway. After all, his teachers didn’t deserve to have trash laying around their rooms. He quickly grabbed the paper, and prepared to throw it in the trash.

“You coming, Egdork?” Dave called from just outside the room, and John hurriedly stuffed the item in his pocket. John rushed after his friend, and they maintained a little conversation. After a little, Dave entered Dirk’s truck and prepared to leave, prompting John to start his walk home.

Hours later, John placed his hands in his jacket pocket, and found the piece of crumpled paperinside it again. Within seconds of remembering, John looked for the nearest trash can. Before throwing it away, John decided to open up the paper. It was just as much out of curiocity as it was boredom, and he found a message in red marker.

“Hey, dork. You’re cool. Hang out with me?” It read, and had three checkable boxes. One option was yes, the second was hell yes, and the third was ‘hell fucking yes’. It had a line underneath that one beside a box, implying that he could write in a fourth response. John chuckled at the paper- it was too bad no one responded to it. After all, it seemed marginally funny. In a feat of boredom, John grabbed a blue marker, then checked the third box. He nodded to himself at the paper, convinced he’d tell Karkat and Dave about it later, then threw it in the trash.

John exited the room after the fairly uneventful happening, just in time to miss the two flashes of red that came from the can behind him.

__________________

AN: RING RING IT’S FLUFF.  Any ideas on what that may be? HUUUH?? (Also, today is April 12, in this story, so look out for a birthday chapter coming up soon. I just got a great idea for it, and I want to make this cuteness happen.)

JAFNF Chapter 94

(Monday, April 12)

When school finally got out, Nepeta felt more than ready to exit the building. The walls of their high school were uncomfortably enclosing, and she wanted to see her sister. So, she walked over to the bench where she met Equius, outside. From there, the two friends usually traveled to his car, and he drove her home. At this point, Nepeta just wished Equius would hurry up, so she could get home. However, fate seemed to have different things in mind for Nepeta Leigon. When Karkat didn’t appear at lunch, she remembered the weekend’s events. Unfortunately, the work from her last two classes took her mind off the subject. So, to say she felt surprised when she noticed Tavros was an understatement. The girl had her hands on her lap at first, and she pleasantly waited. She looked out at the carpool line with boredom on her features, until she saw him.

He wore a black jacket and stood, a little far away from the carpool line. The fairy leaned against a wall,  and he seemed to be looking for something. His eyes scanned the drop off lane, and Nepeta noticed him shift his leg. When she looked down, she realized that he had a motorcycle with him, and that he was practically posing against the wall. Of course, that just made her more interested, so she dashed over to him in typical Nepeta fashion.

“Tavros?” She asked, and the boy jumped, before looking down and seeing her. His ears burned in embarrassment when he realized he got startled. Of course, his expression changed to one of pleasant surprise when he saw Nepeta.

“Oh, hi! H-How was your, uh, day?” He asked, trying to sound casual. Nepeta answered the question with a smile on her face.

“Oh, it was fantastic!  What about you?” Tavros put his hand from side to side.

“Eh, it was pretty, um, average. I had more magic practice, and Calliope showed me how to, um, make cars. This was the, uh, easiest one since it’s smaller.” Tavros commented, and Nepeta looked down at the motorcycle appreciatively.

“Wow, that’s clawsome! It looks supurr cool.” Nepeta said, placing her hand on the metal. Tavros smiled.

“Uh, thanks!” Nepeta smiled.

“You’re welcome. Anyway, what are you doing here? I usually don’t see you around school.” Nepeta commented, and Tavros suddenly remembered why he came in the first place.

“Oh, yeah! Since we, uh, have that meeting with Jade and I know you, uh, usually ride with Equius, I thought that I could drop you off instead, since you won’t have a ride home unless Equius is there.” Nepeta thought about it.

“That’s true! Thanks for thinking of that, Tavros! Well then, I guess I should let Equius know I’m going to Jade’s house?” She asked, and Tavros nodded. “Okie dokie! I’ll be back in a second!” She said, and the girl ran back to the bench from before. Tavros noticed Equius sitting on it. Nepeta explained the situation and the two exchanged hugs, then Equius predictably walked towards his car, while Nepeta came back over to Tavros.

“Ready to go?” He asked, gesturing to the vehicle. Nepeta felt a little confused.

“Wait, can’t you just teleport us there?” She asked, and Tavros shook his head.

“There’s too many people here, I think they would see. I don’t want them to harass you about disappearing in thin air. But, when we get to a place with fewer people, we, um, can.” Tavros said, and once Nepeta shrugged, both sat on the vehicle. Tavros concentrated, then whispered something, and a helmet appeared in his hands. “Did you, um, want this?” He asked, and Nepeta considered it for a second, then shook her head.

“No! I’ve never been on a motorcycle, I think I’ll try with the helmet off.” She said, and Tavros nodded.

“Hey, me too! But don’t worry, I’m, um, using magic for this, not actual gas.” Tavros said, and immediately began to drive off. All he was doing was moving them forward, so the engine didn’t make noises. Really, the only thing they heard as they traveled down the road were other cars, and the wind rushing past them. Nepeta felt and enjoyed the ride, and eventually, they entered a street without people. “I’m going to, um, teleport us now!” Tavros said, and Nepeta said something, but her words were lost in the wind. In an instant, they were on Jade’s driveway, and the two came to a rolling stop. Nepeta stood after a second, her heart racing from moving so quickly.

“That was so much fun!” She practically shouted, and Tavros stood, then grinned sheepishly.

“Yes, I liked that. Anyway, I guess Karkat’s not here yet, but we should knock, right? She said right after you got out of school.” Tavros commented, and Nepeta followed him. They stood at the front door for a few minutes after knocking, and eventually, Jade came. She opened the door with an awkward smile, and allowed her friends to sit on the couch. None of them felt like conversing, and when Karkat arrived, he looked at Nepeta.

“How the fuck did you get here so quickly?” Karkat asked, and Nepeta blinked, then pointed at Tavros a little timidly.

“Tavros teleported me.” She explained, and he nodded. The four sat around the living room, and Karkat coughed.

“Hey. So, I guess Jade called us here to talk about our feelings? I think that’s something we should start doing.” Karkat mentioned, and Jade nodded.

“Right. We all know what happened this weekend was a misunderstanding, right?” Tavros nodded solemly.

“Yes, sorry. I wish I had been clearer. Do we have to stop being friends because of this?” He asked, and Nepeta sort of wilted at the topic change. Karkat, in turn, stiffened, but it was Jade who responded.

“No. I mean, I don’t want to. I like you all a lot.” Jade said, and finally, Nepeta said something.

“But, it’s just so weird, knowing your friend likes you like that. Will you still treat us the same?” Nepeta said, and she looked down. “I mean, I’ve known Karkat for years.” Nepeta said. “Will we still be able to act the same around each other, now that you know?” Karkat shared a glance with Jade, then took a breath.

“Nepeta, I should tell you something.” Karkat said, and Nepeta looked up.

“What is it?” She asked, and Karkat gulped. He was finally having the conversation he’d been dreading for years.

“I’ve known, for a while, how you, erm, feel about me.” Karkat said, then looked down. “Like, three years a while.” She looked confused, and her eyebrows scrunched together. Jade and Tavros shared a look, because three years was a long time.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” She asked, and Karkat sounded even more ashamed of himself than before.

“I didn’t want to tell you that I don’t feel the same. I wasn’t sure how you’d react- and I didn’t want to lose your friendship.” Karkat paused. “I mean, I’ve known you for years, and you’ve been a wonderful friend. I just never felt that way about you.” He said, and Nepeta’s eyes narrowed. His gaze turned nervous. He wasn’t sure how she’d react, of if she’d be mad about…”

“So, what you’re saying is, you’ve known I liked you for years, but you never told me because you were too scared to reject me?” She asked, a little accusation in her voice. Karkat could only nod helplessly. “Were you ever even going to tell me? You dated other people.” She said, and Karkat sighed.

“I was hoping you’d move on so I didn’t have to deal with losing you as a friend. I’m sorry, that wasn’t okay.” He said, and Nepeta thought about his words for a second. They got uncomfortably silent, and finally, Nepeta spoke.

“No, that… that wasn’t okay. You should have told me.” She seemed to be debating with herself. “But, I forgive you. I just wish I hadn’t wasted so much time trying to get you to notice me, you know?” She asked, and Karkat looked guilty.

“I know. That wasn’t okay either, I was just couldn’t deal with the fact that I may lose you as a friend.” He paused. “Did it happen anyway?” He asked, and Nepeta frowned, then sighed. She seemed to be thinking about how she would respond.

“I- No. I’ll still be your friend, Karkat.” She spoke finally, and the relief of his face practically made forgiving him worth it. He let out a sigh, like a weight had been lifted off his shoulders, then looked at her.

“Thank you. Shit, I was worried.” Karkat said, and he looked more at ease now. After that was taken care of, the boy looked towards Tavros and Jade. “Are you two okay?” He asked, and Jade and Tavros looked at each other. Tavros shrugged.

“I, um, think I’m okay. I was more worried about Nepeta than anything, and I think I can, um, get over it. I’m not, uh, jealous or anything.” Tavros said, and Jade nodded.

“That’s good. Thanks for being so cool about this, Tavros.” The boy shrugged again, but his ears darkened at the praise.

“It’s no, um, problem! I’m just glad the problems could be solved, unless there’s, um, anything else.” He said, and Jade looked at Nepeta.

“Nepeta, are we still friends?” She asked, and the girl blinked, then nodded.

“Of course! You’re still one of my best furrends, Jade!” She said, and Jade gave her a smile.

“You too, Nepeta. So, um, yay!” Jade said, and the serious atmosphere around the situation dissipated. Nepeta looked off to the side, and she seemed to be thinking about something. Her eyebrows fell, and suddenly, she gasped in remembrance.

“Wait! I’ll see you all tomorrow, right? John’s birthday is the thirteenth.” She explained, and Karkat nodded. He hadn’t forgotten.

“Yeah, Dave will meet us at five.” He said, and Tavros nodded. He remembered the pesterchum memo where everyone would prepare for their celebration. Jade spoke up.

“Do you think Dave’s going to make a move on John, when they’re together? It seems like a good opportunity.”

“Oh no, Dave’s not as smooth as he wants you to believe. Really, he’s just a huge nerd, but he’s cool too. Don’t tell him I said that. But I’m sure that whatever he does will be good, for John. Those two were practically made for each other.” He said, and Nepeta wanted to continue talking, but she got a text. Apparently, her older sister was wondering where she was, and Nepeta remembered she forgot to tell her the afternoon’s plans. After responding quickly, she received another text. The girl frowned, responded, and looked up apawlagetically.

“Guys, I’m sorry but I have to go. Big sis is waiting for me.” Nepeta said, and Tavros took it as his cue to stand. After all, she depended on him for a ride back. Karkat looked at the two standing teenagers.

“Oh, you’re right, it’s still a Monday. I’ll see you guys later then.” Karkat said. Nepeta hugged both Karkat and Jade, then sighed.

“This was good. But, I wish we could ride the motorcycle back.” Nepeta commented, and Jade’s eyebrows raised.

“Motorcycle?” She asked, and Tavros put an arm behind his head.

“Yeah, I was figuring out how to make vehicles appear, and this was the easiest. So, I, um, picked up Nepeta from school with it!” He said, and Jade looked impressed, while Karkat looked surprised.

“Damn Tavros, well, be safe. When the hell did you learn how to drive one though?” Karkat asked, and he shrugged.

“Never, I just, um, propel it forward with magic. So, it’s, um, more eco friendly that way. If you want me to drive you back, I can, Nepeta.” He said, and the girl seemed to brighten at the concept.

“Okay! It’s so much fun, thanks Tavros!” She said, and practically bounced towards the door in excitement. “See you guys later!” She added, and the four followed her out. Tavros hopped on the stationary vehicle, prompting Nepeta to do the same. She held his shoulders for stability. Tavros offered Karkat and Jade one last wave, then moved the motorcycle forward. The two left, and Jade still looked impressed. They gave each other a look, and after holding his glance for a second, Jade laughed.

“I never realized Tavros was so…” Karkat didn’t need her to finish to understood what she meant.

“I know, right? Seriously, since when did he drive a motorcycle?” Karkat asked. Jade grinned.

“You’re impressed.” She stated, and Karkat’s eyes narrowed.

“I’m not. I’m just surprised. He seems so shy.” The boy said, and Jade smirked.

“Not around her. Come on, I’m going back inside.” She said, and Karkat put a hand on his chin. He thought about Tavros again, along with Nepeta’s actions around him.

“Coming!” Was all he said, but he thought about the boy and his friend again. Maybe the solution he was looking for wasn’t so impossible to find after all.

____________________________________________-

Tavros eventually dropped off Nepeta. The girl hugged him upon his departure, and he waved at her sister. Eventually, the fairy decided to go home. He had an eventful day, and was more than happy to end it. So, when he arrived in his room, prepared for a peter pan marathon of epic proportions, he wasn’t expecting the knock on his door. In an instant he sat on the opposite side of the door, and twisted the knob.

Now, Tavros expected Calliope. What he did not expect was what he got: a troll that stood at almost seven feet in height, with messy hair and a t-shirt from some band he’d never heard of.

“Gamzee?” The words were a squeak, and the man sighed when he spoke. “Why are you, um, I mean-”

“Relax, Tavbro.” He said. The words didn’t necessarily help Tavros do that, but he was curious now, at the least. “I noticed you came in and wanted to get my motherfucking greeting on, bro.” The troll said, and Tavros looked up.

“You’re just saying hi?” he asked, because in reality, he felt like Gamzee was preparing to break his bones. The corner of his lips turned up.

“Yes, I’m just saying hello to my main motherfucker.” Tavros blinked, then responded shyly.

“I, um, thought that was Caliborn?” Tavros asked, and Gamzee shook his head.

“Nah, I’m just his guardian. Same with Callie too, someone’s gotta care for them. I always have to make them stop trying to subjugate each other.” Tavros was confused now.

“They try to kill each other? Why?” Gamzee shrugged.

“Shit’s in their blood, they have to. It’s part of them growing up, motherfucker.” Tavros frowned.

“But, they’re, um, siblings?” He said, and Gamzee actually sounded a little sad.

“Yeah, they motherfucking are. It’s a fucking miracle that they’re not getting their shred on with each other, you know, Tavbro? I guess I’m all up and part of that. ” Gamzee asked, and the fairy sighed.

“I, um, I guess. Did you want to, uh, sit down?” Gamzee looked at him in surprise, and his lips turned up in a smile.

“Sounds like motherfucking miracles, Tavbro.” So, the fairy allowed Gamzee into his room. He was careful not to scratch the doors with his horns. The troll took a seat in a chair, and Tavros sat on the bed. “So, what’s my wicked brother getting up to in here?” He asked, and the boy gave him a slightly more confident response.

“Oh, I was going to, um, watch Peter Pan. I like the, um, characters.” Tavros said, and Gamzee looked on in interest.

“Serious, motherfucker? Can I get my wicked Disney shenanigans on with you?” He asked, and Tavros looked surprised.

“Oh, you want to, um, watch this?” He asked, and Gamzee shrugged.

“Sure, anything to hang out with my main motherfucker.” Gamzee stated, and that was how it started. So, the fairy boy and the troll watched a Peter pan movie, where Tavros excitedly pointed out his favorite parts, most noticeably without a stutter. The sense of terror that enveloped Tavros when he usually saw Gamzee started to dissipate, and he enjoyed seeing the movie with someone else, for a change.

The surprise visit eventually came to an end, and Gamzee had to leave. Still, Tavros thought about the older troll, and wondered what sparked his desire to visit. Whatever it was, it seemed friendly enough. Tavros remembered what Calliope told him, but he still seemed kind. So, he may have come from an awful situation, and converted a person, who happened to be Karkat. That didn’t necessarily mean he was bad, but he just dealt with some bad things. Eventually, an idea appeared in the young fairy’s mind. 

As a fairy, it was his job to help others, even if they were almost seven feet tall. That said, Gamzee was nothing but nice to him, and it was probably time for Tavros to repay the favor. If Gamzee honestly wanted to be friends, Tavros would try to get over how massive and scary he was. So, the fairy resolved to visit Gamzee, and that’s what he would do- tomorrow. For tonight, he could get a little sleep, knowing that everything was resolved for now.

__----____________-

(Tuesday, April 13).

When Tavros woke up the next morning, he prepared for another session with Calliope. After that, he could visit Gamzee. So, after going through his usual morning routine, he stepped out of his room, only to be greeted by an amalgam of floating pots and pans. The fairy walked through them curiously, only to find Calliope waiting for him.

“Oh, good morning, Callie!” He said, and she offered him one of her impish smiles. The girl wore a bowtie again today, and he remembered that she liked it when he called her ‘teacher’.

“Good morning Tavros. How did you sleep?” She asked, and Tavros gave her a little thumbs up.

“Actually, really well!” And he was right. Usually, nightmare or unpleasant dreams plagued his sleep, but today things were okay. “What about you?” He asked, and she responded.

“Oh, the same dreams as always. Anyway, I thought we should celebrate, dear!” Tavros looked surprised.

“Celebrate what? I mean, um, is today a special day, or um, something? I know it’s John’s birthday.” He said, and she raised an eyebrow.

“Oh, no! I wanted to celebrate you, dear. You helped your friends resolve a conflict. I’m proud.” Calliope stated, then looked towards one pot. She made it float closer to her, then added something to it. Tavros only looked confused.

“What? What do you mean?” She turned back to him.

“You said you had an issue, and Nepeta was sad. She’s more than fine now, I can feel it in her signature. Didn’t you have something to do with that?” Tavros put a hand on his head, then shrugged.

“Um, I guess. But it wasn’t magic or anything, I just, um, helped her feel better. I still can’t do it with magic yet.” He said, sounding less upbeat as the sentence drew to a close. Calliope  gave him an odd look.

“Forgive me dear, but I don’t recall ever saying you had to use magic.” Calliope said, and Tavros looked surprised.

“What do you mean? I’m s-supposed to just, boop their problems away, right?” Callie gave him a look, and he knew he was about to learn something.

“Well, eventually, I’m sure you’ll be able to! But Tavros, no one said you had to. The only thing you need to do is fly in, and alleviate the situation. Put a smile on everyone’s faces. And that’s exactly what you did! While in time, you’ll be able to do that, you’re still very young. For now, the fact that you generated the right advice and made her feel better is the most important. That is why you should be celebrated today- you did your duty as a fairy, and everyone ended up happy. So congratulations, dear. You earned it.” She said, and Tavros blinked.

He never knew that he didn’t have to use magic. It always just seemed so implied, like when Calliope showed him Cinderella. In the end, he really did end up making Nepeta feel better, and it satisfied him. Tavros gave her a relieved smile. A weight left his shoulders, because apparently, he was assuming a responsibility that he didn’t need.

“W-Wow. Thank you, Calliope.” He said, and she offered him her impish smile again.

“Of course, dear. Anyway, I’m trying out a new recipe today, so we’re not doing practice. Is that alright?” She asked, and he nodded. “This may take some time; I’m not entirely sure how to do this. I can call you when it’s done, if you’d like?”

“Oh, sounds good.” Now, Tavros had to find something else to do, since he planned on doing school that day. Instead, he remembered what he set out to do last night- he would talk to Gamzee. So, with a wave and a flash of light, Tavros went upstairs and stood in front of Gamzee’s door.

Before knocking, he took a deep breath. After all, even Gamzee’s door looked imposing. From his gigantic horns to his tall stature, along with his deep voice, he scared Tavros. It didn’t help that he maintained a constant high, just so that he could not kill everyone. Still, high or not, Gamzee was nice to him, and Tavros wanted to be nice back. So, he knocked on the door, and Gamzee opened it, then looked down. His expression was one of surprise, then genuine happiness.

“Hey, Tavbro, what motherfucking miracles brought you here today?” Tavros put a hand behind his neck.

“I, um, wanted to see if you were, um busy?”

“No, I’m getting my motherfucking chill on, why?” Tavros looked down as he posed the question.

“I was, uh, wondering if you wanted to hang out?” The smile that appeared on the man’s face made Tavros wonder why he hadn’t asked earlier. The troll quickly let him in, and found juggalo posters all over his wall. Images of bands, like Insane Clown Posse, to signed ones of Harley Quinn made an appearance. He had random bottles of soda lying around, along with various horns. His bed sheets were a dark purple, and despite the creepiness of the decoration, Tavros continued hanging out with Gamzee.

They ended up in an intense rap battle, and both parties enjoyed themselves. Eventually Calliope said she was done, and both appeared to try whatever new food she’d concocted for them. She seemed pleasantly surprised to see Gamzee, and offered the man a hug, which he gladly accepted. When he lifted her into the air she giggled, and Tavros smiled at the interaction. Really, Gamzee wasn’t half as bad as Tavros thought he was. So, he was always high, but he did it for a good reason, and clearly cared about Calliope. In the end, they enjoyed themselves a lot, and Tavros was happy to make a new friend.

________________________________-

AN: Completely unrelated, I just watched Steven Universe and that episode was so goOd! Mr. Greg was great.

JAFNF Chpater 95

(Tuesday, April 13)

When John woke up the next morning, he got dressed normally. The boy walked around his bedroom, until he heard a sound by his door. After that he heard footsteps, and looked on curiously. As he opened the door, he discovered two things, one of which remained sandwiched between his bare feet. John found a note hanging by a string. His eyes were on the words as his foot fell into the cake.

“Son, if you are reading this note, you’ve lived another year. Congratulations on turning seventeen. I am very proud of you, and I love you.” John flipped over the card and found a standard wish for a happy birthday on the back. When he looked down, he saw the ruins of a cake with a blue seventeen in the center, and despite himself, his mouth stretched wide in a grin.

“It’s my birthday!” John realized, and as he did, his parents came out to greet him. Roxy ran up to him and gave him a hug, automatically sidestepping the ruined cake.

“Johnny! Happy birthday!” Roxy shouted in his ear, but John only laughed in response.

“Thanks, Roxy!” He said, and his father appeared behind her.

“Jonathan.” He said, and the hug broke for two pairs of eyes to meet. John’s father had his hat on, and he smiled lovingly down at his son. John’s smile only widened as the man pulled him into an intense fatherly hug, and the two sat in silence for a second, until the man spoke. “I’m so proud of you. Congratulations on turning seventeen.” John hugged back hard, but his words were soft.

“Thanks, Dad.” He said, and he meant it as well. His father hadn’t been this present for a birthday in years, and John appreciated the positive change. The hug broke, and the man ruffled his hair. Roxy couldn’t help but join in.

“I have more cake for you downstairs, and when you get home, there will be a few more.” The man said, and John groaned.

“Dad, I don’t need that many cakes!” He said, and Roxy shrugged.

“Give them to your friends or something! It’s your birthday, kiddo!” She said, and John grinned.

“Thank you both. Do I still have to go to school?” He asked, and both nodded.

“Your education still has to happen, with or without your birthday. We can have more cake when you get home- oh, and give one to Dave.” The man said, and John groaned.

“But dad, then I’m going to have to take the car-” Roxy laughed.

“Sorry Johnny boy, them’s the breaks.” She said, and waited for him to get it. He sulked for a second, but his eyebrows lifted at the joke in pleasant surprise. Roxy saw the corners of his mouth turn up and she grinned, following his pattern.

“Breaks? Like, car breaks?” He said, and Roxy winked. John held up his hand for a high five at the pun, and she gladly slapped his hand back. Eventually, she still sent him back to his room, and he proceeded to get ready for the day.

When Dave arrived at the front door, he grabbed John in a hug, and he giggled. His friend started to lift him in the air, because of how light he was, and John openly laughed. Eventually he put him down, and Dave gave him a smirk.

“Happy birthday, best friend.” Dave said, and John laughed.

“Thanks, Dave. You ready to go? We have to take the car, because I have to give you a cake. I think we may need to stop by your house and drop this off.” John said, and Dave blinked, then shrugged.

“Sure, okay.” He remembered John’s issue with cake eating, and gladly took the confectionary food. They loaded it into John’s car, but to his surprise, Dave took the driver’s seat. “Hey, you don’t have to drive on your birthday.” The blonde said, and John eventually relented his keys to the vampire. As soon as he pulled out of John’s driveway, the blonde drove over to his house. However, he didn’t drive to John’s school from there. Instead, he went in the opposite direction.

“Dave, you know school is that way, right?” He asked, and Dave smirked.

“I know.” John looked at him warily.

“Then why are you going this way?” He asked, and Dave smirked.

“Because we’re not going to school.” He waited for John’s reaction and the boy looked at him.

“Wait, seriously? Where are we going? My dad said I had to go to school, he’s going to get mad-”

“Egbert, chill.” He said, and John looked at him warily.

“But Dave-”

“Hey.” He said, his voice soft. “Trust me, okay?” He asked, and the words silenced John. He did trust his friend, more than anyone in the world. Dave smirked. “Good. Sollux took care of school, don’t worry about that. You know that thing you said, about taking a random day out of life with you best friend one day?” Dave asked, and John thought about it.

“Yeah?”

“Well, fuck doing something one day, it’s your birthday. We’re doing it now.” John started to look excited.

“Really?” He asked, and Dave smirked again, his sunglasses reflecting the light.

“Fuck yes. Well, except for doing it without a plan, I know where we’re going.” Dave said, and John grinned.

“You’re the coolest friend ever.” John said, and the blonde raised his sunglasses to wink at him.

“Oh, I know.”

“I know you know.”

“I know you know I know.”

“I know you know I know you know I-”

“Yeah, no more, John.” Dave said, and John laughed. The two friends drove on for a while.

“Dave, where are we going?” He asked, and the blonde smirked.

“Dude, it’s a surprise.” He said, and John looked at him.

“I wanna know!” He said, but Dave shook his head.

“Nope, sorry Egdork. You’re being surprised the old fashion way.” Dave said and John groaned, but went along with it anyway. He looked at Dave.

“Well, fine. Speaking of surprises, you think my mystery person is ever going to confess, if it’s not Damara?” John asked, and looked down. “Maybe after I went on a date with her, they decided not to do it.” The boy said, and Dave quickly reassured his friend.

“What? No way, they’re probably just waiting for the right moment John. Don’t rush it.” John thought about it, then looked up in horror.

“What if it was today?” John asked, and Dave rolled his eyes.

“They wouldn’t ask you out on your birthday. Come on, John, don’t be so paranoid. It’ll happen when the time is right, okay?” He said, and John looked at Dave, then leaned on the car.

“I know, but it’s taking so long. I wanna know who this mystery person is. Do you think they’ll be attractive? Like, way out of my league, attractive?” John asked, and Dave resisted the urge to say something self centered.

“John, no one’s out of your league.” John rolled his eyes.

“Oh, har dee har. Dave, you don’t have to be nice just because you’re my friend, have you even seen my teeth?” He asked, and Dave raised an eyebrow.

“What’s wrong with your teeth?”

“I have a huge overbite! I look like such a nerd when I smile.” John complained, and Dave looked at him in surprise.

“What? John, I love your smile.” He said, and John paused. His breathing stopped for a second. Dave realized his friend stopped and looked confused. “Uh, John? You okay, Egdork?” John looked up when he realized Dave said his name, then shook his head.

“What? Yeah, I’m fine Dave. Sorry, I just got distracted.” John said, and Dave shrugged. John looked at Dave carefully.

“If you say so.” Dave said, and John frowned. It had to be a coincidence. For some reason, John recalled what was at the first spot on that note, months ago. The note was, of course, the list of reasons why someone he assumed was Damara. Still, Dave’s words made him question a lot. Because, he remembered that list. And the first reason why this mystery person loved him was his smile. However, before he could think about it too much, something else distracted him. “Hey, we’re here.” John looked up.

“Silverwood theme park?” John asked, and his face stretched out into a grin. “Dave, no way!” He said, and the blonde smirked.

“Happy birthday, part one.” Dave immediately found parking and walked in, then presented their already purchased tickets. The two walked in and heard screams of joy echo across the park, and Dave just looked at John. “Here’s your swimsuit. Some of the rides are wet, and you may want to go on a few.” Dave commented, and John nodded. Dave followed him to the bathroom, and John came out with his jeans in his hands, but his blue sweatshirt was still on. Dave removed both his shirt and his pants, because his swim trunks were underneath.

“Hey, I’m ready!” John said, and Dave looked at him.

“What, I don’t get a full view of the amazing Egbert body?” Dave asked, and John gave him a nervous glance.

“I kind of want to keep it on.” John said, and Dave realized why. He looked at his friend seriously.

“John, no one’s going to judge you for your arms. It’s a part of your past, okay? If you want to wear that, it’s fine, but you don’t have to cover yourself. Not with me.” Dave said seriously, and John looked down.

“Easy for you to say, you’re ripped.” John commented, and Dave put a hand on his shoulder.

“I know I am. But it doesn’t matter if you have abs or not, you should be comfortable with yourself, okay John?” Dave asked, and John sighed, then nodded.

“Okay, I think I’ll take it off.” So, John removed the sweatshirt from his body, and Dave smirked. John handed him his clothes, and Dave felt a weight in his sweatshirt pocket.

“Wait, is this your phone?” Dave asked, and John looked from side to side.

“No, it’s my hammer.” The boy said, and Dave raised an eyebrow. “Hey, I’m always prepared!” John said, and Dave just rolled his eyes and placed it in a bag. Eventually, the two boys got a locker, and threw their things in there. After a little searching, they found a map of the area, and Dave looked to John.

“Hey, which one first?” John looked at the map in surprise, then concentrated.

“Oh, this place just opened, right?” John asked, and Dave checked the time.

“I think so, why?”

“Come on, go to the back of the park first. When I was younger, my dad and I always did it this way- so let’s go!” He said, and began to walk in one direction. It may have been strange to see two high school kids at an amusement park on a Tuesday morning, but no one stopped them. So, they walked to the back of the park, and both stood in the short line for a roller coaster. Once they had their turn, the two got in next to each other, and Dave took a picture before securing his phone. John had a huge grin on his face, and he only looked more excited as the ride started.

“John.” Dave said suddenly, and the boy turned towards him.

“Yes?”

“If I die, make sure they put my shades on in my coffin, okay?” He asked, and John rolled his eyes.

“You won’t die, this is going to be so much fun.” John said, and Dave looked at all the loops and twists this ride had to offer. John held the side of the roller coaster in anticipation and Dave remembered, he still had his sunglasses on. The blonde struggled to place them more securely in his pocket, and luckily he did it before the first dip.

John screamed on their way down, and Dave felt his heart pound. As they slid along the tracks, Dave felt horrified, but a surge of adrenaline made up for it. Meanwhile, John put his hands up as they went around a loop, and let out laughs and screams of delight. They traveled quickly along the tracks, and soon- too soon for John, the ride ended. John quickly unstrapped his seatbelt once the ride came to a stop, and hastily got off. Dave lagged behind him and he waited for the blonde, a grin stretching across his face.

“Dave, that was so much fun!” John said, and Dave gave him a smirk.

“Yeah, I guessed it would be. Are we doing another?” The blonde asked, and John nodded. He looked at their map again, and found another ride- Panic plunge. In an instant the two went to it, and they ended up on the ride without a wait. Dave gripped the handlebars of the ride, and John explained what would happen.

“It’s supposed to feel like a free fall.” He said, and Dave’s yes widened.

“How is that fun?” He asked, and John grinned as the ride started to bring them upwards.

“You’ll see.” They reached the top of the ride, and it stopped for a second. To be honest, Dave was terrified. John realized that he was scared- more than in an ironic way, or the adrenaline pumping way. “Dave, you’ll be fine. Just don’t look down.” John said, and Dave looked at John.

“Then what do I look at? We’re going to be hurtling towards the ground!” He said, and John looked at him.

“Just focus on me, okay?” He said, and Dave swallowed. His voice got slightly serious, and he stared at John’s face with a newfound (okay, no, not really, he always liked John’s face) appreciation.

“I can do that.” He said, and the machine began to drop them. Dave felt the lightness and heard people scream, but he told himself to focus on John. So, he kept his red, uncovered eyes on his friend the whole time, and John’s screams of delight actually caught on. By the time they’d gone down, then up again, and down once more, Dave actually had fun. As soon as the ride stopped Dave had his sunglasses on again, and when they got out, he had a wide smile on his freckled face.

“Okay, how was that one?” John asked, and Dave smirked.

“Awesome. Come on, let’s do another.” He said, and that threw them into another ride. They ended up on a waterslide race, where John and Dave went against each other. The two slid in the red and blue slides, and John pouted when Dave won. At one point they tried a few more rides, ranging from carousels to roller coasters.

“Want to try thunder river?” John asked, and Dave shrugged.

“Sure, sounds good.” So, the two walked over to the attraction, with the intent to do as many rides as possible before they left. They stood in a line, and talked for a while. The two people in front of them talked as well, until one of them overheard their conversation.

“Do you think I’ll get wet?” John asked, and before Dave could respond, a girl that stood in front of them answered.

“The site said you had a 100 percent chance of getting wet, actually.” She commented, and the guy that stood next to her let out an easy smile.

“Yep, it’s supposed to be pretty fun.” Dave raised an eyebrow, but John grinned.

“Oh, cool!” He said, and Dave smirked.

“Yeah. They said this was high intensity, right?” The girl nodded.

“Yep! Sounds sort of fishy for a family ride, but I can’t wait until we go.” She said, and they moved up in the line as lifeguards allowed another few people to go. The guy she was with seemed up for casual conversation, so he asked another question.

“So, why are you two here today? Most teenagers aren’t available on Tuesday mornings.” John responded to him.

“It’s my birthday, so Dave took me here. Apparently, he has school ‘covered’.” John said, putting up air quotes. Dave gave John a sideways glance.

“Hey, it is covered. Do you doubt me?” Dave asked, and John rolled his eyes.

“No, I don’t doubt you, geez. Just saying, I’m not entirely sure I want to know what Sollux did to cover us.” Dave shrugged.

“I don’t know, but whatever it is, it’s worth it, right? Anything to spend time with you on your special day, John.” Dave commented, and John grinned.

“Aww, thanks Dave. You’re seriously the best.” Dave smirked.

“I know.” The two people across from them shared a smile, and the girl spoke up.

“Are you two a couple? You guys are so cute.” She said, and Dave’s ears darkened, while John let out an over dramatic sigh.

“Everyone says that! No, I’m not a homosexual. Dave’s just my best friend, but everyone says we act like a couple.” John said, and Dave raised an eyebrow.

“Who’s everyone?” John crossed his arms.

“Dad says it, Roxy says it, Jade implies it every time we speak, and if Nepeta’s giggling is anything to go by-” Dave looked pleasantly surprised by the words.

“Wow, that’s actually a lot. Do we really?” the blonde asked, and the guy spoke up.

“Actually, yeah. Well, congratulations on having such a good friendship, you two.” Dave smirked.

“Thanks. What about you?” He asked, and the girl smiled.

“We got married recently.” She held up her hand where a ring sat atop it, and Dave looked at her curiously.

“Oh, wow. Congratulations. How long did you guys date?” He asked, and the guy responded.

“Three years, before I finally asked her. We were friends way before that, though.” The guy said, and Dave continued asking questions.

“Wow, how did you manage to ask out your friend like that? Weren’t you worried what would happen if she said no?” He asked, and the guy nodded.

“Oh, it was terrifying. But, she said yes, and it was the best decision I’ve ever made.”  He said, and she beamed at him.

“I’m glad I said yes. Are you planning on doing something like that?” She asked, and Dave stiffened, but luckily John responded for him, and he didn’t notice his slowly growing blush.

“No, but some person is apparently supposed to confess their feelings to me soon, but I don’t know who. It’s torture waiting!” John said, and sighed. “Meanwhile everyone likes Dave but he still won’t get a girlfriend, no matter who I try to set him up with.” He said, giving Dave a look. The blonde rolled his eyes.

“Right. Just because girls like me doesn’t mean I have to like them, John.” Dave said, and John looked at him.

“But you do like Terezi!”

“Not like that. She’s more like a really cool friend.” John put a hand on his side.

“Like me?” He asked, and Dave immediately responded.

“No, not like you, you’re my best friend.” Dave said, and before they could respond, a lifeguard looked up, then gestured the four of them into the ride. John grinned.

“This is going to be so much fun!” And really, it was. Both John and Dave put their hands up and laughed as they slid around the ride, and by the time it ended, the four were all soaked. As they got off the ride, John and Dave waved to the couple, and they left. The pair of friends went on a multitude of rides after that, and both were having too much fun to think about stopping for lunch. John usually ate at home anyway.

After a barrage of rides, it started to get late, and Dave checked the time. School already ended, but he already made sure someone would tell John’s parents to expect him to come back a little after school. Still, it was almost 5 pm, and while the two visited a multitude of rides, Dave knew John still had to be back for the rest of his birthday.

“Hey, Egdork. We probably have to leave soon. It’s getting late.” Dave said, and John nodded in understanding. “But, we can probably do like, one more ride.” John thought about what he wanted to do last. They already hit a plethora of roller coasters, along with their ‘ironic’ rides. “So, what do you want to do?” He asked, and John stared at a map. Suddenly, he knew what he wanted.

“Ferris wheel.” John said, and Dave looked at him in surprise.

“Really?” John looked up at him, a little bashfully.

“Okay, so it’s not like, a fast or wet ride, but it’ pretty classic, right? At the end of an adventure you always get a good view.” Dave wasn’t sure if the sigh he let out was relief or sadness, but it came out anyway.

“Alright John, let’s go.” He said, and thought back to that girl’s statement from earlier. Was he really that obvious, around John? He hoped his best friend wasn’t just ignoring his clear feelings for him. Still, Dave could at least enjoy the presented opportunity They stood in the thankfully short Ferris wheel line, and eventually got on.

“Thanks for today, Dave.” John said as his best friend slid in after him. Dave frowned for a minute, but responded.

“Of course, Egbert.” They fell into silence after that, and the wheel lurched as it took them higher. While their lack of words was nice, Dave felt the urge to break the silence. “John, what’s the most ironic thing we can do while we’re on this wheel?” The blonde asked, and John put a hand on his chin.

“Um, we could do I spy. That’s ironic, I think?” The words were a question but Dave liked it.

“Sure, okay. That’s pretty ironic, you go first.” He suggested, and John looked out of the Ferris wheel as they made their slow rise.

“Um, I spy something bright.” John said, and Dave looked around through his sunglasses. The vampire searched for a while, then found a sign down below.

“Uh, the sign over that restaurant thing? Nate’s pizza?” Dave asked, and John nodded.

“Yeah! Your turn.” He said, and Dave put a hand on his chin.

“Hm, I spy something wet.” Dave said, and John looked at him.

“Dave, half of this place is a water park.”

“Good luck.” John rolled his eyes.

“That ride?” He asked, pointing to one. Dave shook his head. “That one?” He shook his head again, and twice more until John got it. It was the ride where they’d met that couple earlier. Instead of going to his turn, John leaned against the side of the small wheel room. “Dave?” He asked, suddenly sounding less upbeat.

“Yeah?”

“Do you… I mean, have you ever thought about…” His words trailed off, and John sighed. “Never mind.” Dave looked at him curiously.

“What is it? John?” He asked, and John shook his head.

“No, it’s just something stupid.” Dave looked at him.

“John, you know you can tell me anything. Especially if it’s stupid.” Dave said, and John sighed.

“Promise you won’t judge me? Or like, I don’t know.” John said, and Dave put his sunglasses in his hair.

“Come on John, it’s me.” Dave said, and John sighed.

“Yeah, I know.” He said, and Dave raised an eyebrow. His heartbeat started to quicken in anticipation.

“Then what is it?” John looked away as he posed the question. Dave noticed the blood coming to his friend’s cheeks, and his red eyes were uncovered. They widened when he finally heard his words.

“Have you ever thought about dating me? And, you know, what that would be like?” John asked, and Dave swallowed nervously. He knew he dropped a few hints today, but wasn’t sure if the boy caught them. In fact, he seemed ready to believe that the entire thing would have gone over his head, like most things did. After all, it was clear that he was obvious about his feelings, to everyone but John.

“Where is this coming from?” he didn’t answer his question, but before he went and did something stupid, he had to make sure John felt the same. Well, provided that the timeframe was before he confessed, anyway. John looked down, avoiding his face.

“I know what everyone says, about how we look like we’re a couple. I don’t know, I never really considered it before. Have you?” John asked, and Dave tried to make his response sound normal. Of course, this wasn’t some admission of feelings. Dave should have known not to get his hopes up anyway.

“Sure, I have.” He said, and John looked at him.

“What did you think it would be like?” Dave paused before responding, and looked back at the world around him.

“It would be nice.” He said, and the thickness of his tone made John look at him. The vampire wasn’t elaborating, and they fell into silence for a while before Dave spoke again. “What did you think it would be like?” He asked, and John’s voice almost sounded scared as he answered.

“I don’t know.” John said, picturing himself walking the halls with Dave, hand in hand, or kissing him against a wall like he saw most couples do. “I think it would be weird.” He let out a breath he forgot he was holding, and thought about it. Giving Dave flowers on Valentine’s Day seemed strange, and awkward.

“Really?” Dave asked, and John thought about it again. No, he needed to personalize the situation. The things he did before- that’s something he could picture himself doing with Damara. John and Dave would be different. They would probably walk the halls together, and give each other hugs before leaving for classes. They would joke, because Dave was still his best friend, and sit together at lunch. He would do sweet things that he insisted were ironic, and John would appreciate it anyway. John would probably give him apple juice, and see him without his sunglasses on. And suddenly, the idea of dating his best friend did a 180 in his mind.

“No.” John said, surprising both the blonde and himself. Dave looked confused.

“Then, what would it be like?” The wheel, which came to a stop earlier, continued moving. John’s eyes grew wide, because he thought about the scenario again. The scene was like a normal day for the two, and he realized it.

“Dave.” He said suddenly, and the blonde looked at him with interest. “It… it would be pretty much the same as we act now.” John said, and as the words came out of his mouth, he validated them. Dave just nodded, like he’d come to this conclusion ages ago.

“Is that weird for you?” He asked, and John frowned, then shook his head.

“No? I mean, yes but- we’re on a Ferris wheel right now. I think I see what everyone means when they say we act like a couple.” John said, and Dave sighed.

“Yeah. But you know, we’re not.” Dave said, and John nodded. “I mean, it doesn’t really matter what other people think, right?” He asked, and John shook his head.

“No, of course not! I just never really got what they meant until now, you know? I always thought acting like a couple was kissing in the halls and stuff like that, but we don’t do that, so I was confused.” John said, and Dave shrugged.

“Yeah, I think I got what they meant before. You just realized it now?” Dave asked, and John smirked playfully.

“Well sorry, Dave. I’m not always thinking about what dating you would be like.” Dave didn’t pause this time before answering.

“Yeah, well don’t flatter yourself, Egdork.” John giggled.

“Hm, at least I have a potential girlfriend, Dave.” He said, and the blonde put his hands up.

“Ooh, shots fired. I’ll have you know that I don’t date by choice.” Dave said, and John raised an eyebrow.

“What, are you waiting for the right person?” John asked, and looked at him. Dave shook his head.

“I’m not.”  John looked at him.

“They what is it? You said you could get any girl in our school. Are you… is it that you’re more into guys?” John asked, and Dave shrugged.

“I’m not focused on dating right now. But, yeah, I’m bisexual.” Dave said, and John blinked. He didn’t expect that from his best friend, but didn’t mind either.

“Well, you could get any guy in our school too.” John said, and Dave looked at him with a smirk on his face.

“Really? Even if they’re not homosexual?” He asked, and John shrugged.

“I’m sure you probably could, with enough work. You still are the mysterious cool kid, right?” John said, and Dave’s smirk only widened, because of course John didn’t know he was talking about him.

“Well, my reputation precedes me. That’s reassuring. Thanks, Egdork. And, happy birthday.” He added, and John grinned.

“Thanks, Dave.” The ride from then on wasn’t awkward, but quiet. Eventually it ended, and Dave helped John out of the wheel. They traveled back to the locker with their stuff, then returned to John’s car. All they needed to do was drive home.

_________________________________________-

JAFNF Chapter 96

(Tuesday April 13)

Dave took the wheel once again, and he drove John back home. They talked on the ride back, and John really had no clue what was waiting for him. So, the two pulled into the Egbert garage. They already put their clothes back on, and John held some of his belongings as the blonde took him to his house. When they walked in, John saw balloons, and looked at his blonde friend in confusion.

“Dave, what’s-”

“Surprise!” People shouted, and appeared from behind random objects. The action startled John at first, then his face broke into a grin. All of his friends from the road trip and before, stood there with smiles on their faces. His parents were there too, along with Dirk and Mr. English. Somehow, Rose was there, and even Sollux, Aradia and Damara made appearances. John’s smile stretched across his face.

“You guys threw me a surprise party?” He asked, and Karkat took the liberty to answer.

“Yeah, we know it’s not some crazy one day adventure, but if anyone deserves a party it’s you.” John grinned.

“I- thank you!” He said, and his friends were upon him. They told him to try cake, open presents, and a variety of other things. John’s dad had not one, but four cakes on the countertop, and John crossed his arms when he saw them. He thankfully didn’t go off into a tirade about Betty Crocker. All of his friends shoved gifts in his face, and Damara gave him a hug when she presented hers. He accepted it giddily, and his father ruffled his chlorine-filled hair.

After they all had cake, someone decided Con Air was a good idea, and both adults and teenagers struggled to watch the movie. Damara kept looking at Dave with wonder throughout the entire thing, who was so desensitized to the movie’s awful puns he didn’t even need to try to maintain his neutral expression. Maybe he was meant for John- watching that was painful.  Jade actually liked it a little, while John watched through the whole thing with glee. Equius and Kanaya sat with Rose and Nepeta, and Tavros joined her. Karkat took the spot next to John, while his parents watched on with mild interest. Jake seemed to legitimately enjoy the movie, to everyone’s surprise.

More people were present at the party as well, but they all seemed only half interested to disgusted with the movie. Once it ended, they all hung out for a while. Sollux and Aradia were the first two to go, and they took Damara with them. John thanked all three for coming, and sighed when Damara left. Eventually, everyone departed except for Dave, Dirk, Rose and Kanaya. The last of the four had to teleport Rose home after the party ended. Rose and Dave got into some debate, and John watched it unfold with an amused expression on his face. He looked up when he felt a tap on his shoulder.

Dirk called him away from the party for a minute, and John readily came with him. The man looked down at John and spoke.

“John. I know you’ve been waiting for this for a while, and we’re sorry it took so long, but we wanted to get everything right, and surprise you. So… happy birthday, kid.” He said, and John looked surprised.

“Bro, what do you mean?” He asked, and the man answered by pulling John outside to stand on his front porch.

“I’ll show you.” In an instant, John saw orange. His eyes widened, and he saw wings spread. This was different though. They had bright green eyes that glowed underneath aviator sunglasses. There were fingerless gloves on this robot’s hands, and they wore a long green jacket that John had seen on someone before. Under that, though, they wore everything familiar. From the tee shirt John bought them when they were Davebot to the ever present blonde hair, John wasn’t sure who he was looking at, for a second. Then, he saw it. That familiar smirk was there- heck, he’d seen it minutes ago. And just as John started to suspect and hope, words poured out of the robot’s mouth that made John want to cry.

“Sup, Egdork?” It asked, and in an instant, John was in his arms, and Davepetabot hugged him back. The blue eyed boy squeezed the robot, and held his arms at his shoulders. Tears of happiness sprung from his face, and his heart beat against a cool metallic chest. The robot held John, because it was good to hug the robot again. John remembered when he couldn’t turn on, and felt for the place where his combat levels changed. He was on level T, and he was still sentient. He was back from the metaphorical dead. Even if he didn’t remember anything from his “past life”, he was there, and that was what was important.

“Davebot?” John asked, and the robot responded.

“Kind of. More like.. Davepeta bot? Or Just Davepeta.” He, or they, John decided, said, and John squeezed them tighter.

“You’re really here?” He asked, and the robot nodded.

“I’m really here.” They confirmed, and John looked up from the hug.

“Thank you.” He said. Both Equius and Dirk had relieved smiles on their faces from the interaction, and eventually, the two broke it up. “I don’t understand though, why are you.. wait, Nepeta?” John questioned, and Dirk spoke up.

“It was Equius’ idea. We couldn’t figure out how to make Davebot feel like a full person without making some radical changes, so… we made some changes. They still don’t have the memories, but… they’ve changed, hopefully for the better.” Dirk said, and John grinned.

“I’ll say. You’re so… different.” John said, looking up at the robot’s altered face. Their eyebrows scrunched up in worry, and John could see numerous freckles covering their face.

“Different?” They asked, and John sighed, then fell into the robot’s arms again.

“Amazing different. I’m just… glad you’re back.” he’d missed the robot that died, supposedly for him. Dirk said Jadebot was still in construction, but after taking some compatibility tests, they decided that the robot would be perfect for Davepeta, and help them not need someone elseto feel complete. After all, there was someone else there, because they were two personalities, skillfully molded into one. Hopefully, that would keep them okay, and the areas where one personality usually came up short would be filled with the other’s. It was either a fool proof or foolish plan, but considering that they hadn’t destroyed themselves yet, they seemed to be off to a good start.

“So, John. You can keep Davepetabot with you now, and we’ll introduce them to Jadebot when she’s done.” Davebot looked curious.

“Who’s Jadebot, Bro?” He asked, and the man smirked.

“You’ll meet her eventually. Until then, enjoy hanging out with John.” Dirk said, and Davepetabot shrugged.

“Sure.” John grinned.

“You know, you’re the best birthday present ever.” Davepeta’s smirk and flattered giggle seemed like opposing reactions, but somehow, within the robot, they went perfectly together.

“You didn’t believe otherwise, did you?” He asked, and John shook his head.

“Nope! This is pretty much everything I could have wished for. I missed you.” He said, and even if Davepetabot wasn’t entirely sure why John would have missed them, he knew he cared about his friend.

“Well, I’m here now John.” They said, and Dirk looked towards the house. He put a hand on his hip, and his glasses told him it was getting late.

“Hey, I can tell you two have some catching up to do. I think I’m taking Dave home now, okay? Uh, Davepeta, if you could be a little mindful of Dave- I don’t know how he’ll react to the development, or Nepeta.” He said, and Davepeta nodded. Apparently, they’d received some kind of briefing on the people they were based off of.  John nodded first, then realized Dave would be leaving.

“Oh wait, let me tell him thank you first, and goodbye!” The boy said, and Davebot followed him and absconded out of sight as John rushed inside. Kanaya spoke to him before he could say anything, and gestured to Rose.

“John, Rose and I are preparing to depart. I hope you had a wonderful birthday.” She said, and Rose stepped up behind her.

“It’s been so many years, John. I’m glad I finally get to celebrate a birthday with you in person.” The girl said, and John smiled softly.

“Don’t worry Rose, we’ll do it again in December, right?” He said, and the girl’s black lips turned up, into a smile.

“We will. I look forward to it.” John sighed, then offered the girl a hug.

“I’ll see you around, Rose. And Kanaya, take care.” Roxy, who was downstairs, stopped the two before they could leave. She practically ran into Rose with the hug she gave her, and the teenager reciprocated. Eventually, both she and Kanaya left, and John stood in his home with Dave and Davebot. The former looked at the robot warily, but he didn’t seem to be making any moves towards John. Dirk walked up behind them.

“Hey, Dave. We’re heading out.” The blonde said, and Dave looked at his best friend. The two hugged first, and separated for a second. John sighed.

“Thanks for giving me the best birthday ever, Dave. I really can’t be happier right now.” John said, and it was true. Dave just gave him an easy smile.

“Hey, anything for you on your special day. I’ll see you tomorrow, right?” Dave asked, and John grinned.

“Of course you will. Someone has to keep your coolness in check, right?” John teased, and Dave shook his head.

“John, you can try to control my sheer awesomeness, but let’s face it. We all know you never will. Still, you can try. I’ll see you tomorrow, okay?” He said, and John grinned.

“Okay.” Dave turned to his brother, who sent John a smile.

“Hey, goodnight John, happy birthday.” The man said, and John’s father walked them out. John immediately started cleaning, from the cups to the plates, and the surplus of cake. Rose brought one home with her, for her mother to ‘try’. John was just happy to have it off his hands, because the possibility of eating birthday cake lessened with each cake removed. Davepetabot helped him clean up once every one was gone and after a confusing introduction, both John’s dad and Roxy were glad to have the robot back. Davepetabot resisted the urge to ask what exactly they were back from, and instead just helped them.

After cleaning finished, John went to his room for bed. He showered to get the chlorine off his body, then changed into night clothing. He placed his hammer back where he usually kept it, along with his phone. After he finished putting on clothing, he looked towards his desk, and found a bag sitting there, with a note. John walked over to it, and, as usual, he read the note first.

“Happy birthday Egdork. Thanks for being awesome for all these years.” John looked at the present ans smiled. Of course, he was a little confused. Dave had already given him a present, along with an awesome night of fun. But who else could that have been from? John shrugged it off and found a ghost buster’s t shirt inside. He grinned at the gift, then remembered Davepetabot’s old clothes and offered them to the robot.

“Wait, where the fuck did you find clothes with wing slots and zippers?” He asked, and John put a hand on his neck, remembering Davepetabot’s first reaction.

“I made it. You really liked wearing human clothes, but couldn’t do it with your wings, so I just added the zippers to a normal sweatshirt. Here you go.” Davepetabot seemed genuinely appreciative when he answered.

“Wow, thanks John! You’re the best!”They said, and John looked on in surprise.

“What high praise, from the king of cool themselves? I’m nothing but a humble prankster, Davepetabot. But thanks for the compliment anyway.” John said, and Davebot raised an eyebrow.

“Hey, what’s this coming from? I said you were the best, you are. Okay?” He asked, and John thought about it for a second, then shrugged.

“Okay.”

“Don’t you have school tomorrow? You should go to sleep.” They said, and John pouted.

“What, you just got back! I can stay up a little late, come on.” John said, and Davebot gave him a look.

“No excuse, Mister. Get in bed.” He said, and John’s eyes narrowed.

“But I don’t want to!” He said, changing his voice to sound like a three year old. Davebot used a stern, fatherly tone when he spoke again.

“Your butt belongs in bed, silly! Go to sleep, you have school.” John crossed his arms.

“Only if you tuck me in.” He said, The suggestion was a Joke, but Davepetabot took it seriously, or as an opportunity for irony. Either way, the robot pulled back the covers of the bed, and John snorted. “Wait, really? Fine, I’m getting a bedtime story too.” He said, and Davepetabot laughed, but complied. John hopped into the bed in his pajamas, while Davebot stood over him. He held up Colonel Sassacres, the only book he could find in John’s bedroom, but didn’t read from it.

“Alright John, prepared to be lulled to sleep by the sheer amazingness of my impurrov literature tonight. You ready?” He asked, and John nodded. “Okay, so once upon a time, there was some place that was pretty far from here, because it doesn’t fucking exist. But that doesn’t matter right now, because it’s going to exist now. So, there’s some kid in this magical place, and obviously it’s you, so let’s not describe him too much. He’s running around, delivering some apples to his awesome friend from his dad’s bakery. He had a blue cape on, because his favorite color is blue, so he’s blue riding John.”

“So, what happens to blue riding John in the woods?” He asked, and Davepetabot looked down at him.

“Hey, slow down! I’ll tell you when I tell you- irony is art. Anyway, He’s walking through the woods, trying to bring back some apples, when all of a sudden some girl appears from out of nowhere. I mean, he’s looking at the trees for one minute, and in a second she just appears there. Anyway, she’s a furry, and she asks for some apples, and John riding hood is nice and he wants to give her a few, but they’re really for his friend, so he says no.”

“What does the girl from the woods do?” John asked, and Davebot continued.

“Well, she asks him why he can’t share, and he says they’re for his awesome friend. Now, this girl thinks he’s lying, but doesn’t say it. Instead, she tags along with him, so she can find out if his awesome friend is willing to share his gift. She says her name is Jade, and because she’s purrety and cute they kind of just walk along for a while. While they’re walking, they meet some crazy witch lady that can see the future. She says it’s in her future to get in on those awesome apples, and John says she’s crazy. So, of course she just follows them to prove them wrong. While their chugging along or whatever, they meet some noble ass purrince Equius, and you know, he wants in on those red delicious apples too, because shit like that makes you strong. So of course, John is just beyond caring at this point, and he tags along too. It takes a while, but they reach John riding hood’s awesome friend’s house.” Davepetabot said, and John looked at him.

“What, no eating my ‘awesome friend’?” John asked, and Davebot looked at him.

“John, the story’s almost over get some patience. Anyway, they arrive, after a long trip to his awesome friend’s house, and like you can probably guess, there’s insane beats playing in the background. Oh, and there’s adorable stuffed animals everywhere. That’s right, you’re at Davepeta’s fucking abode. So, John riding hood gives them the apples, and Davepeta asks who the other people are. The crazy witch is Rose, and he shares an apple with her. Then, they see Jade, with some adorable fucking wolf ears, and she asks for an apple. Davepeta gives her one, and throws one at Equius for shits and giggles. It’s wonderfurl,  and everyone lives happily ever after with their Betty Crocker brand apples. The end.” John looked up at Davebot from his position in bed.

“That didn’t make any sense.” John said, and the robot smirked.

“It didn’t have to. Goodnight, John.” He said, and John sighed.

“Good night, Davepetabot. It’s good to have you back.” The robot turned off a light in John’s room, then went to a corner to power down, and John fell asleep with a smile on his face.

____________________________


	23. Chapter 23

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 97-105

JAFNF Chapter 97

(Tuesday, April 20)

A week later, Nepeta woke up and groaned. The entire house smelled like an awful mix of grossness, and brownies. She ran to the bathroom and got ready for school, but avoided going downstairs for as long as possible. By the time Equius picked her up, she had to leave her room. When she opened the door, the smell was even worse. The girl had no idea what smelled so awful, but she wanted to leave the house as soon as possible. The girl quickly ran outside without attempting to locate her sister. Equius sat with his car in her driveway, and she quickly ran in.

“Good morning Nepeta. You seem rather anxious to get to school.” Her best friend said, and Nepeta frowned.

“Not really, but my house smells awfurl!”

“Oh, why?” Equius asked curiously, and Nepeta shook her head.

“I don’t know. I hope it airs out soon though.” She said, and Equius shrugged, then started their daily drive to school. Nepeta pulled out her phone with the intent to tell Tavros about the problem. As she opened pesterchum, Equius glanced at her.

“Who are you texting?” He asked, and Nepeta smiled.

“Tavros! I want to tell him how bad my house smells.” Nepeta said, and the corner of Equius’ mouth turned up into a slight smile.

“You know, you haven’t spoken of Karkat in a while.” He said, and Nepeta shrugged.

“He’s not really up to anything new. Plus there’s finals and smelly houses to talk about now.”

“Are you still attracted to him?” Her friend asked, and Nepeta looked up at Equius, suspicion on her features.

“He’s dating Jade. Why does it matter?”

“Here’s why I’m asking. You seemed to mention him daily, but since John’s birthday you haven’t talked about him once. So, do you still like him?” He asked and Nepeta frowned. She hadn’t really noticed Karkat as much as usual lately, and it was true that she used to talk about him more often. Still, she had a crush on Karkat for years, and wasn’t sure if it was gone, or what.

“Maybe, I don’t know, Equitty. What about Aradia?” The girl asked, and Equius shrugged.

“She’s currently in a relationship with Sollux, and the two are happy. I’ve never believed that he deserved her, but I’ve accepted that she won’t return my feelings. It is a strange feeling, but I believe that accurately describes my perspective on the matter.” Nepeta nodded. She decided she would worry about Karkat later, but still wanted to say hello to Tavros. So, she opened up pester chum, and began to talk to her friend.

Arsenic Catnip (AC) began pestering Audios Torreador (AT).

AC:      :33 < *ac saunters up to you with an unmatched amount of stealth.*

AT: *i, UH, STAND AROUND OBLIVIOUSLY, MINDLESSLY CHECKING MY PHONE*

AC:      :33 < *I appear from behind you, and pouncegreet with a grin on my face!*

AC:      :33 < Hi, Tavros!

AT: gOOD, MORNING NEPETA

AT: hOW, UH, ARE YOU?

AC:      :33 < I’m on my way to school with Equitty!

AC:      :33 < But my house smelled really bad this morning

AT: oH, NO,

AT: aCTUALLY, MINE DID TOO, UNTIL WE TELEPORTED THE BAD SMELLS AWAY,

AT: wHY, DID YOUR HOUSE SMELL BAD?

AC:      :33 < I don’t know! It was like brownies and skunk spray, or something.

AC:      :33 < What made your house smell bad?

AT: i THINK, GAMZEE WAS, UH, MAKING PIE

AT: wITH, APPLES, AND STUFF THAT MAKES HIM HIGH.

AT: oH, THAT RHYMED

AT:,,,,, kIND OF

AT: hE, UH, SAID IT WAS A SPECIAL DAY TO DO DRUGS, SO,, UH,, THAT’S WHY.

AC:      :33 < Maybe that’s what Meowlin was doing?

AC:      :33 < I did see a bowl of brown batter.

AC:      :33 < Maybe she baked drug brownies?

AT: mAYBE,

AT: gAMZEE WAS MAKING PIE, SO, PROBABLY

AT: bUT, WHY IS THERE A SPECIAL DAY FOR DRUG BAKING?

AC:      :33 < I don’t know

AC:      :33 < I don’t think I want to try those brownies

AT: yEAH, GAMZEE OFFERED ME SOME PIE, BUT, UH

AT: i SAID NO.

AT: mAYBE, MEULIN WOULD LIKE SOME? HE SAID, HE WANTED TO, UH, SHARE IT.

AC:      :33 < Maybe! I’ll ask her!

AC:      :33 < But after school, I’ve already left.

AT: oKAY, i'LL, UH, ASK GAMZEE IF HE, UH

AT: wANTS TO GIVE MEULIN SOME PIE.

AC:      :33 < Sounds good!

AC:      :33 < Oh, I have to go, we’re here.

AT: oKAY, HAVE, UH, A GOOD DAY AT SCHOOL.

AC:      :33 < Thanks! Have a good day at magic practice!

AC:      :33 < And tell Callie I say hi.

AT: wILL  DO,

AT: bYE,

AC:      :33 < Bye!!

Audios Torreador (AT) ceased pestering Arsenic Catnip (AC).

Nepeta put her phone in her jacket pocket, then looked up. Equius parked and held her door open for her, and she bounced out of the vehicle.

“Thanks, Equitty!” She said, and her friend nodded.

“Of course, Nepeta. Anyway, we should enter school now.” The girl followed him wordlessly, and went off to start her day.

___________________--

By the time fifth period rolled around, John was gushing with excitement. Dave already knew of Davebot’s return. He didn’t know the specifics (or have a clue about the fact that they were Davepeta). Reguardless, John promised they weren’t dating this time around, but Karkat did give him a few raised eyebrows that made John shove his friend. Karkat, surprisingly laughed it off, and John offered him a teasing smirk.

“So, how’s it feel to be the youngest one, huh, Karkat?” John asked, and the boy rolled his eyes.

“For your information, Nepeta’s younger than me. Either way, I’m pretty sure I’m more emotionally mature than all you fucknuggets combined.” John puffed out his chest.

“Hey, I’m emotionally mature! Tell him, Dave!” John said, expecting his best friend to back him up. Instead, Dave just snorted.

“John, you giggled at the words booby trap once. I remember it too.” The blonde said, and John shrugged.

“It was funny!” He defended himself, and Dave rolled his eyes.

“Nah, you’re just immature.” Karkat coughed.

“Oh, don’t leave yourself out, Strider. You remember last week’s… incident.” He said, and Dave looked at Karkat.

“Dude, we agreed to never speak of it.” John grinned.

“Never speak of what? Karkat, you know you want to tell me.” John said, and Karkat smirked at the look Dave gave him, but shook his head.

“Sorry Egbert, that’s a level one bro code violation. I can’t have Strider pissing his pants because someone knows the shame he inflicted on himself.” Karkat said, and John sighed, but he understood. Violation of the friend or bro code wasn’t okay, and John respected it. After all, the blue eyed boy was the keeper of some of their darker secrets as well.

“Fine. Anyway, when are you guys going to start studying for finals?” John asked, and Karkat winced.

“John. Why would you even mention that, we still have at least one unit in all of our classes left.” John shrugged.

“It’s never too early to start preparing! But yeah, we have a test in Mr. English’s class tomorrow, which stinks. Are you ready for it?” Dave put a hand on his forehead.

“Yeah, cells reproduce, I think I get it. I have like, three tests tomorrow. How is that possible?”  Dave asked, and Karkat shrugged.

“We’re getting closer to crunch time- you know, when teachers start throwing in all their tests because they need time to review so that people don’t do too horrible on their finals. At least we have break after this, right?” John brightened at the concept of a week away from school.

“Yeah, we do! I’m excited for that. Dad says he’s taking the whole week off, and we’re going to do something. No idea what that is, but I’m excited.” John said, and Dave raised an eyebrow in interest.

“Hm, sounds interesting. What are you doing over break, Karkat?” The vampire murmered something, and Dave looked confused. He couldn’t hear what he said. “What?”

“I said, I’m doing meet the fucking parents. Kind of. Don’t make me say it again, fuckers.” Karkat said, and John’s eyes widened, while Dave looked at him in a little confusion.

“Jade doesn’t have parents.” Dave said, and Karkat rolled his eyes.

“Okay, she’s meeting mine, they’re not meeting each other, thank goodness.” He asked, and John grinned.

“No way, Jade’s meeting your family?” He asked, and Karkat put his head in his hands. “Oh no, you’re nervous! It’ll be okay, Karkat.” John said, and the boy immediately looked at him, contempt on his features.

“Don’t make it so fucking awkward, damn it Egbert. I have no fucking clue what my parents are going to do.” He said, and John gave him a lopsided grin.

“Don’t worry! It won’t be bad. Your parents are probably going to be fine. Still, isn’t that a little early? You guys have only been dating for like, a week. Even if we’ve all been waiting forever.” Karkat groaned.

“I know, right? Apparently, it was some weird tradition on my dad’s side to meet them within the first month of dating them, even if we’re not adults, or anything! And I see Mr. English every day, which makes it awful as fuck. At least they’re not letting Kankri be there, but still!” Karkat said, and Dave did his attempt at soothing him.

“Well, at least you know Jake and Dirk, right?” Dave said. “That will make it easier, at least.” He said, and Karkat sighed.

“Yeah, but not for her! I don’t know what my parents are going to do, they don’t even know that I’m a vampire, or Jade’s a werewolf or anything. Fuck, what if they hear us insulting each other? Or if Jake’s side job comes up…” John put a hand on his shoulder.

“Hey, you’ve kept that secret for years. And I’m sure Jade will be okay too.” He said, and Karkat sighed.

“Well, I’m not getting out of it either way, Jade already agreed.” Dave rolled his eyes, and John just nodded.

“Just don’t get nervous. Whatever happens is going to happen, okay?” John asked, and Karkat sighed.

“Yeah, you’re right, I guess. I just feel like they’re going to be embarrassing, or try to convert her or something.” Karkat shuddered at the thought, and John shook his head.

“Your parents will be fine. They’ve done this before, and they probably know to keep it off religion. Actually, didn’t they do this with Terezi?” John asked, and Karkat nodded miserably. “Okay, how did that go?”

“Awkward as fuck, but no one died.” He said, and John nodded.

“See, it’ll be fine. It’s just one night when they do this anyway, right? You’ve done it before, and you can do it again.” John said, trying to instill confidence in his friend. Karkat sighed, and he seemed a little less worried.

“Yeah, thanks you two.” John grinned.

“How’s that for emotionally immature, huh?” He asked, and Karkat rolled his eyes.

“Whatever, I would have to be high before I admitted you were actually more mature, especially after I heard you singing in the bathroom that one time.” Karkat said, and John glared at him.

“Karkat!”

“What was he singing?” Dave asked, and John’s cheeks reddened.

“Nothing! Nothing at all, Dave.” He said, and Karkat laughed. Dave wisely didn’t ask for more information. Instead, he sort of redirected their conversation.

“Well, you have some good chances of getting high today. It’s 420, after all.” John blinked.

“What’s four twenty? It’s only like, one something.” John said, and Dave rolled his eyes, while Karkat looked on impassively.

“Oh, just an entire day people dedicated to weed, on Hitler’s birthday. It’s an internet thing.” He explained, and John frowned.

“I don’t want to get high. I have a test tomorrow, remember?” John asked, and Dave nodded.

“I can’t forget that, even if I want to.” Dave said, and Karkat shrugged.

“Yeah, English tells us every day, I’m pretty sure we have to remember.”

“It’s better than him not telling us though, right?” John asked, and Dave sighed.

“Yeah, that’s true.” Eventually their conversation ended, and they continued their normal schedule of events.

John followed Dave down the hallway, and he couldn’t help but remember their conversation on his birthday, a week ago. He looked at the couples that lined the hallways, and realized that even if he and Dave were dating, they would still probably act like they did now. Of course, John could always picture himself in that position with someone like Damara. A girl offered her boyfriend a quick peck on the cheek, and John sighed. It would be like that with her. But with Dave?

“John?” the blonde asked, startling John out of his thoughts. He looked up at his friend.

“Oh, yes? Sorry, were you talking?” John asked, berating himself for spacing out. Dave raised an eyebrow.

“Hm, something distracting you?” He asked, and John shook his head.

“No, I was just thinking.” Dave looked curious. John could tell, even with his sunglasses on.

“Oh? About what?” John thought about what he’d say before responding.

“Uh, Dating.” He omitted the part about how he was thinking of his best friend, and Dave sighed.

“Damara?” He asked, and John didn’t pick up on his subtle change of tone. Instead, he just responded affirmatively, and nervously.

“Yep! June’s coming, you know?” John asked, and Dave’s tone was almost unsettlingly even.

“It definitely is. Anyway, see you in seventh, okay?” Dave asked him, and they neared his classroom. John gave him a little wave.

“See you!” And he continued walking.

________________-----

After the bell rang for his last period, John walked towards the door, where he found another piece of crumpled paper. He took it upon himself to unfold it, and as students filtered out of the room, he decided he’d read what was on it. To his surprise, it was the same red marker writing that he’d seen on the last one.

“Hey, just wanted to say you look nice today. Nice choice of shirts. See you around.” John flipped the paper over, puzzled. His shirt wasn’t even visible over his jacket, and he remembered that he’d been wearing his birthday gift shirt. He looked at the note, puzzled. Could it have been for him? John placed it back in his pocket, and decided he’d think about it later.

_________________-

“I’d motherfucking love to get my share on, Tavbro. Where’s the wicked sister?” Gamzee asked, and Tavros offered his friend a shy smile. After magic practice that day, Tavros asked Gamzee if he wanted to share his pie with Nepeta’s sister, and he immediately said yes. Of course, he still had giant horns, meaning that Tavros would be the delivery boy. So, Gamzee cut a few slices, Tavros placed them in a miniature box he’d conjured, and he was off to go see Nepeta. He knew she’d be getting out of school now, and any excuse to see her was more than enough for him.

So, Tavros appeared just outside the school, inconspicuously behind a tree. He walked out from behind it with the pie box in hand, and sought out his friend. He searched the crowd of students exiting the building, and luckily, his eyes landed on her. She was practically bouncing as she walked anyway, and Equius stood beside her. Tavros said their names, causing the two to look up. Equius seemed surprised, while Nepeta’s face stretched into a grin as she saw her friend. Immediately she ran over to him, and Equius followed her.

“Tavros!” She said, and Equius spoke up as well.

“Good afternoon, Tavros. What brings you here?” He asked, and Tavros held the box in his hand. It had a note on it, in sharpie, from Gamzee.

“Hi, guys. This is, uh, from Gamzee. I asked him about sharing with your sister, and he said he wanted to. S-So, uh, here this is.” Tavros said, and Nepeta smiled.

“Thank you Tavros! We had a conversation about his friend and my sister celebrating fur twenty.” Nepeta explained to Equius, who looked alarmed.

“Wait, that has cannabis inside of it! Is that legal?” He asked in worry, and started to sweat. Tavros put a hand on his chin- he hadn’t thought about it.

“Uh, I don’t know. I didn’t think Gamzee would, uh, do anything that’s super illegal.” He said, and Nepeta took the box.

“Thank you anyway Tavros, I’m sure Meulin will appreciate it! Purrlease tell Gamzee thank you fur us.” Nepeta said, and Tavros smiled sheepishly.

“Uh, sure Nepeta. No… purroblem.” Tavros said, and Nepeta looked surprised at the use of the word, then her face lit up.

“Oh, yay! Tavros, you used purr!” She said, and Tavros nodded.

“That was, uh, the objective.” Equius, who’d been looking around in worry, coughed.

“If you two are done discussing this, perhaps you would consider moving to the car before we’re caught with suspicious baked goods.” Nepeta nodded.

“We’ll be fine Equius! But okay, away we go.”

“Can I t-teleport back home from your car, Equius? It’s kind of bright, and I don’t want people to see.” He said, and Equius nodded.

“Of course. Let’s just hurry.” He said, and practically sprinted across the parking lot. By the time he returned his heart beat frantically in his chest, and he felt like a criminal. Still, once they returned to Equius’ car, Tavros smiled a little shyly.

“Uh, bye guys. It was good getting to, uh, see you two. I’ll tell Gamzee you say thanks.” The fairy said, and Nepeta waved at him.

“Thanks fur efurrything, Tavros. I’ll see you soon, right?” Nepeta asked, and Tavros felt heat pool in his ears.

“Y-Yes. See you later!” He said, and in a flash of light, he disappeared. Nepeta still had a smile on her face from the interaction, and Equius offered her a knowing smile.

“So, how is Karkat, Nepeta?” He asked, and Nepeta shrugged.

“He seems okay, I guess. We haven’t talked too much. Why?” She asked, and her best friend shook his head and looked up at the road before them.

“Oh, it’s nothing. Tavros seems happy.” Nepeta nodded.

“Yes, he does. He’s nice.” She said, looking down at the baked goods (bads?) in her hands. Equius just looked back towards the road. Tavros was nice indeed- and even more so to her. Even if Nepeta didn’t quite see it yet, it was clear she was over Karkat, and the thought brought a smile to his face.

JAFNF Chapter 98

(Wednesday, April 21)

Dave surfaced at John’s house that morning, and John’s dad ran to the door before John could even stand up. Dave looked at Mr. Egbert in surprise, but greeted him.

“Uh, hi Mr. Egbert. Good morning.” Dave said, and the man gave him a fatherly smile.

“Good morning, David. Have you eaten breakfast?” He asked, and the blonde shook his head. “Oh, you have three tests today, correct? You should eat something.” Apparently, Dave didn’t have a choice either way. The man hastily made him sit and shoved a protein smoothie in his face, along with a plate of waffles. The blonde looked surprised at the treatment, but sipped on the straw anyway.

“Oh, thanks, Mr. E.” Dave said, and the man’s eyes narrowed.

“That’s the second time this morning. Really Dave, you can call me Dad.” The man said, and Dave blinked, but nodded.

“Sure, thanks… dad. I actually do have three tests today.” He said, and the man nodded.

“I heard, from John.” At that, the aforementioned boy spoke up.

“Hi Dave!” He said, and Dave smirked.

“Morning, John.”  His friend’s father picked up a briefcase, and apparently finished loading whatever he needed into his car.

“Good luck on your tests, you two. Oh, and tell Dave about our plans!” The man said, and John nodded.

“I will dad, have a good day at work!” He said, and Dave waved.

“Thanks for the breakfast, bye… dad.” The man beamed at the words.

“Goodbye, you two.” He  closed the door, and headed out. Dave looked at John.

“Your plans? What’s that?” He asked, stuffing half of a waffle in his mouth. John grinned.

“Oh, that’s right! It’s for spring break. Dad’s taking us to this carnival area and it’s by the beach!” John said, and Dave raised an eyebrow.

“Who is we?”

“Um, Me, Roxy, Dad, Rose, Kanaya, and hopefully you?” He asked, and Dave raised his eyebrows.

“Sounds awesome. I’ll ask Bro about it, since I don’t have any plans.” Dave noticed the smile grow on John’s face. He definitely wanted to go.

“That’s great, Dave. I hope you can come on our vacation.” John said, and Dave smirked.

“Yeah, me too.” After that, they finished their separate breakfasts, and put their plates away. John started their walk to school, and Dave dropped him off at his class. With a sigh, the vampire went off to his first period, and took his first test of the day.

As John entered his first period, he started to sit when he noticed yet another ball of notebook paper. It was sitting in his seat, and John decided to open it. The message was just as nice as the other two, and the marker writing stayed the same.

“Good morning, John. Have a good day! Also, good luck on that test, it looks hard from here. Don’t sweat it though, you’ll do great.” John had a weird expression on his face. It was clear now that someone was leaving these specifically for him. He wanted to know who was doing it. John read the note again, and smiled. He had an idea. After locating a blue marker, he wrote back on the note.

“Thanks for these notes- even if they’re a little creepy, I can tell you’re pretty nice! Who are you?” He wrote, and decided to crumple up the note again. He left it on his desk, and as class progressed, he looked at it warily. By the time John left the class, he put it back on his seat, hoping the person who gifted him the note would find it and write something back.

_____________-

After an excruciating hour of testing and sitting on his phone, Dave moved on to his next class, and the classes after that. By the time he reached his fifth period, he immediately sat down in the library. His next two tests would be right after his lunch, and he actually wanted to review a little. John came bounding in, but when he saw his friend studying, he asked if he could help. Karkat sat at their lunch table that day, so the two of them went over a few note cards, and both felt a lot more prepared after the session.

When Dave strode into the classroom and took a seat next to Terezi, the girl raised a red eyebrow at him.

“Woah Strider, someone seems confident.” Terezi said, and Dave smirked.

“Yeah, I actually studied for this test.” The girl narrowed her eyes at the boy. Publicly admitting his care for school never seemed like Dave’s style, and she smirked.

“Oh. You didn’t happen to have a review partner, did you Dave?” She asked, and Dave looked at her , his face impassive.

“Actually, yeah, how did you-” He saw the sly expression on her face and his eyes narrowed behind his sunglasses. “Whatever, I studied without him too.” Dave said, and Terezi just smirked.

“Sure.”

“Really, I did.”

“Okay, well good luck.” Terezi said, and Dave smirked.

“Yeah, you too, ‘rezi.” They took the exam from there, and it wasn’t super hard. Eventually both of them finished, and the teacher was off in another room. The two turned their tests in, then texted idly on their phones until the class period ended. From there, Dave walked off to biology, where both John and a test waited for him. When he entered the room, John ended his conversation with Damara and walked over to him.

“Hi, Dave! How did the tests go?” John asked, and Dave put a hand from side to side.

“Not bad, like usual. You ready for this one?”

“Does telophase come after anaphase?” Dave raised an eyebrow.

“Yes.” Dave responded, and his words were sure. John gave him a dorky smile.

“Then yes.” They sat down and Mr. English arrived, uncharacteristically early. Karkat walked in after him, then looked at him nervously and sat down. He tried to put his normal pissed off expression on, but John noticed his worry, and put a hand on his shoulder. “Hey, relax kitkat. It’ll be fine.” He said. Karkat ignored the nickname for favor of surprise that John saw him, but sighed, ad seemed a little more relieved by John’s words.

“Thanks, Egbert. You ready for the test?” He asked, and John nodded.

“I am, what about you?”

“I’ll do fine.” The final bell rang and John pulled out a mechanical pencil, then sighed as the teacher handed him his test.

_____________________

When school got out that day, John walked home alone after Dirk picked Dave up. The blonde sat in the passenger seat of the car and remembered he had a question for his brother.

“Bro?” He asked, and the man turned on his awful music before responding.

“Sup?”

“John invited me on vacation for spring break. Well, John’s dad did too, but I was invited. Can I go?”

“When is it?”

“Next week.” Dave answered, and Bro shrugged.

“Is Roxy going to be there?” He asked, and Dave nodded.

“Yeah.”

“Then yes.” Dave raised an eyebrow over his sunglasses.

“Why did Roxy have to go?” He asked, and Dirk sighed.

“You’re probably going out of their area of hunting jurisdiction. The full moon is next week, so you’re going to want at least two hunters with you, if you’re a pureblood. Just because things are peaceful with us doesn’t mean people don’t want to hunt you. The job is still to keep you safe.” The man said, and Dave nodded.

“Well, Kanaya, Rose and John are coming too, just in case. I’ll bring candlescratch, okay?” He asked, and Dirk nodded.

“Good. Make sure everyone’s safe, Dave. Have a good time on that trip, and call me every night, okay?” Dirk asked, and Dave assented to doing it. The blonde rested his head in his hand, and couldn’t wait to tell John the news… so he didn’t. In an instant the vampire had his phone out, and messaged John.

Turntech godhead (TG) began pestering Ecto Biologist (EB)

TG: John

TG: He said yes.

EB: Sweet!!

EB: I can’t wait, this is going to be fun!

TG: Thanks again for inviting me.

EB: Of course, Dave.

EB: Hold on, Roxy wants me!

TG: Okay, see you later.

EB: Bye!

Turntech godhead (TG) ceased pestering Ecto Biologist (EB).

Dave turned to Dirk, a small smile on his face. He looked at his older sibling.

“So, what are you doing during vacation?” He asked, and Dirk thought about it.

“Some more work on Jadebot, and I don’t know if Equius will be there for that. I’m pretty sure that’s- wait, fuck.” The man said, and Dave waited for an explanation. “We have to finish Jadebot soon, damn.” Dave nodded.

“Oh yeah, John said Davebot was getting curious, or something.” Dirk rolled his eyes behind his sunglasses.

“I know, I told him she would be done. I think he’s pretty excited to meet her.” Dirk said, and Dave shrugged.

“I still think the idea of another me dating another Jade is kind of weird. I mean, I know I did it when I was like, thirteen, but that was before I started seeing her in person and she hung out at our house all the time, like a sister. Actually, I heard her call you dad once, remember? It was an accident, but still. I’m pretty sure we’re kind of like a family, sort of.” Dave said, and Dirk looked at him.

“But what would happen if Jake and I broke up? Where would that leave you and Jade?” He asked, and Dave shrugged, his freckles visible.

“In an awkward situation with two people we care about not getting along. Either way, I’m pretty sure Jade’s relationship is as close to familial as it can get, even if all of us have deceased parents.”He said, and Dirk shrugged.

“Huh.” He said, and a smirk grew on his face. “Dad.” He said again, and Dave rolled his eyes.

“Yeah, pretty much. Don’t let it get to your head, Bro.” The teenager said, but Dirk didn’t pay attention. They drove along the road, and he turned to Dave.

“Wait, Jade. She said she was meeting Karkat’s parents, for some family tradition.” He said, and Dave confirmed it.

“Yeah. He’s nervous as fuck.”

“Why? He already knows both of us.”

“Jade’s never met his parents though. I’m pretty sure he’s half nervous for her, and half nervous because of his family.” Dirk looked back at the road and smirked.

“That’s cute.” Dirk said, and Dave sighed.

“Yeah, it is. I don’t even know why they go through the motions of pretending to hate each other.” Dave said, and looked out the window. “Do you think John would like me if I pretended to hate him?” He asked, and Dirk looked to the side.

“Uh oh, things not going well in dork land?” Dave groaned.

“He talked about Damara yesterday!” He said. In all honesty, Dave had been craving someone to vent to since his birthday. Terezi had been busy, and he wasn’t sure if he could really talk about his feelings with Karkat. It wasn’t that he couldn’t be good at it or trusted, but Dave had no plans to do whatever girly bullshit he and John got into during their sleep over/ movie nights. “He already said he wasn’t homosexual. Maybe… I don’t know. It just doesn’t seem like he’ll ever think of me as more.” Dirk offered the best advice/ pep talk he could, at the moment.

“You’re a Strider. Don’t quit when things start getting hard, okay? You should be happy- you’re getting perfect opportunities right now. I mean, you’ll probably share a room with him for a week, you have finals to study for together, and that list is still working in your favor. Don’t give up now, right when you’re getting more opportunities.” Dave frowned.

“But none of those opportunities would matter if he just sees me platonically. I mean, we were on a ferris wheel, and he said dating me would be weird. I feel like this is kind of a lost fucking cause at this point.” Dirk turned his head to his little brother.

“But you still love him.” Dirk said, and the sentence made Dave’s heart freeze, but he looked down.

“Yeah.”

“Then don’t stop trying. It’s going to suck either way, you may as well keep trying. Also, you know Davep- uh, Davebot’s only there to help you. Until you decide to confess, just try to warm him up to the idea.” Dirk said, and Dave sighed.

“Yeah, okay. Thanks, Bro.”

“No problem Dave. Also, we’re strifing when we get home, be ready in ten after we pull in.” Dave just looked up at his older sibling, through his sunglasses.

“Seriously?”

“Yes.”  There was a pause, and Dave nodded.

“Okay.

____________________________________

Arsenic Catnip (AC) began pestering Audios Torreador (AT).

AC:      :33 < Tavros!

AT: uH, HI NEPETA!

AC:      :33 < Hello!!

AC:      :33 < How are you?

AT: gOOD, MAGIC TRAINING WAS, UH, FUN

AT: wHAT ABOUT YOU?

AC:      :33 < Oh, I had a test in school today

AC:      :33 < But besides that, purretty good!

AT: tHAT'S, UH, GOOD!

AC:      :33 < Oh, I almost furgot

AC:      :33 < Sis says thank you fur the pie!!

AT: oH, I’LL TELL GAMZEE,

AT: i'M GLAD SHE, UH, LIKES IT

AC:      :33 < She also wants to give him meownies

AC:      :33 < As a thank you gift

AT: oH, I’M SURE GAMZEE WOULD, UH, LIKE THAT

AT: sHOULD i, UH, TELEPORT OVER AND PICK IT UP?

AC:      :33 < That would be great!

AT: oKAY,

AT: wHEN?

AC:      :33 < I’m home and I know where they are.

AC:      :33 < So, now?

AT: oKAY, i'LL, UH, BE AT THE FRONT DOOR

AC:      :33 < See you in a second!

AT: uH, SEE YOU!

Audios Torreador (AT) ceased pestering Arsenic Catnip (AC). Nepeta looked for the brownies, and found the ones Meulin sat aside in a Tupperware container. It had a sticky note atop it, and Nepeta walked to the front door. The second that the lights started flashing Nepeta opened the door, and found Tavros standing outside. He had a sheepish grin on his face, and the corners of Nepeta’s mouth turned skyward at the sight of her friend.

“Hi, Tavros!” She greeted, and Tavros did the same.

“Hi, Nepeta. Are those the brownies?” He asked, and she nodded, and handed them to him.

“Yep! Here you go!” Tavros put a hand on his neck.

“Uh, thanks. I’ll ask Gamzee what he thinks of them.”

“Oh, purrlease do! Sis liked the pie, and I think she put a note on top too. I hope he likes it!”

“Me too. So, uh, I guess I should go?” He asked, and Nepeta answered.

“Okay! Oh, but I’m on spurring break next week! You should come over!” Tavros nodded.

“Will do, Nepeta! See you next week!”

“Bye!” In an instant Tavros disappeared, and Nepeta closed the front door.

______________________

When Tavros returned, he immediately sought out Gamzee. After knocking on his room door, the troll opened it.

“What’s up, motherfucker?” He asked, and Tavros smiled up at him.

“Oh, Nepeta says that Meulin liked the pie. So, she gave you these.” Tavros said, holding up the brownies. He looked surprised at the gift, but an easy smile hit his face.

“Wow, motherfucking miracles. Oh, she put a note on it?” He asked, and Tavros shrugged, noticing the post it note again.

“Uh, I guess so! What does it say?” Gamzee held the paper in his hands, and read it aloud.

“Thanks for the pie, it was supur good! This is my phone number, but it’s text only. Tell me if you like the brownies! (^•ω•^), Meulin.” Gamzee looked at the paper in surprise, and put a hand on his chin. Tavros looked at his friend with a careful expression on his face.

“So, are you going to, uh, try one and text her?” He asked, and Gamzee looked down at Tavros.

“Shit, I want to all up and text this wicked sister, but I don’t have a phone. Never had a fucking reason to all up and purchase one, bro.” Gamzee said, and Tavros shrugged.

“Oh, I, uh, think I can make one appear? Say you, uh, wish you had a phone. I’ve never tried it, but I think with the wish I may be able to? I don’t, uh, know.” Tavros said, and his confidence sort of waned throughout the sentence. Gamzee shrugged.

“Sure, Tavbro. I all up and motherfucking wish I had a cell phone so I can get my conversation on with Meulin.” Tavros took a deep breath, thinking about the request. In an instant, a black cell phone appeared midair, and Tavros caught it. The device had a purple case, and he handed it to the troll.

“I-I did it! Cool! Here you go, Gamzee!” He said, and the troll took it gratefully.

“Thanks, Tavbro. Any idea how this device can get its function on?” He asked, and Tavros tapped the home button, but the screen made no signs of life.

“I think, uh, it m-may need to charge. Maybe.” Tavros said, and snapped his fingers. A cell phone charger appeared, and he handed it to Gamzee. “Can we put this in, uh, an outlet?” He asked, and Gamzee’s usual stoner smile returned.

“Sure, motherfucker.” The troll walked into his room and found an outlet against the wall. In an instant, he plugged the device in, then connected it to his phone. A moment passed when the device did nothing, and Tavros watched it anxiously. After some waiting, it seemed to power on, and Gamzee’s smile stretched across his face. “Motherfucking miracles.” He said, and Tavros put a hand behind his neck sheepishly at the phrase.

“W-Well, you should talk to her.”

“Wait bro, I haven’t even gotten my motherfucking taste on with these brownies.” Gamzee said, and Tavros opened them for him to try. He took one and ate it. As he chewed, his eyebrows lifted in appreciation for the drugs, and he looked impressed.

“Are they, uh, good?” Tavros asked, and Gamzee looked up at him.

“Sis can get her motherfucking bake on. Want one, Tavbro?” The fairy put his hand up politely.

“Oh, Uh, I shouldn’t. But thanks anyway Gamzee. Will you tell her they’re good?”

“Shit tastes like motherfucking miracles, of course I will.” He said, and Tavros handed him the post it note again. Gamzee added her as a contact and typed in her number. In an instant, he chose a name and the color purple for his words, then began typing.

Terminally Capricious (TC) began pestering Mewlin Legion (ML)

TC: mOtHrFuCkInG wIcKeD bRoWnIeS, sIs :o)

TC: tHaNkS fOr ThE MiRaClEs, ShIt WaS tAsTy

TC: aLsO, i'M gAmZeE mAkArA, aNd YoU sHaReD sOmE wIcKeD wEeD wItH tHiS mOtHeRfUcKeR

TC: I gUeSs YoU’rE  GeTtInG yOuR bUiSnEsS oN tHeN?

TC: ThAt’S cOoL, tExT a MoThErFuCkEr BaCk LaTeR :O)

Terminally Capricious (TC) ceased pestering Mewlin Legion (ML)

“Did she, uh, respond?” Tavros asked, and Gamzee shook his head.

“Not yet, but I thanked the wicked sister for all the motherfucking miracles she installed in me today. Thanks for the phone, Tavbro.” Tavros smiled, exceedingly glad that it worked. In truth, he doubted himself for a bit, at first. Still, after this success he felt more confident, and accepted the thanks graciously.

“You’re welcome, Gamzee.”

__________________________-

AN: Hey, Gamzee’s typing quirk is really NOT fun to write. In a word document. Or anywhere else. I may change it to his sober speech because that’s a lot more manageable. Oh, and on the subject of typing quirks, Tavros’ will be changing as he gains more confidence. I know he’s more part of the “B” team of characters for this story, but he’s still a kind of powerful fairy kid too. So, I thought it would be nice to develop him, even just a little, and help him out with his confidence. He doesn’t stutter as much anymore, so I’m thinking he’s gaining a little confidence in himself. With that said, Hussie apparently said Tavros would replace his “I”s  with ones, if he were more confident, so heads up for that.

Thanks again for reading, you don’t even know how much it means to me that someone’s reading this (mainly refined stream of conscience) story.

JAFNF Chapter 99

Friday, April 23.

The teacher tuned out loud talking, and continued entering test grades. Normally, Jake would have quieted his students to a manageable volume, but he was well past the point of trying that. A small soccer ball flew across the room, and another kid caught it, then threw it lightly. The action spawned a round of giggles, and he didn’t even look up. While he usually wanted his class to be quiet, he understood the reason for their excitement. After all, it was the Friday afternoon before spring break, and both he and his students felt the anticipation that came with waiting for the bell to ring.

Of course, Jake planned to finish all of his work before the toiling of the exit bell, which is why he furiously typed in test scores now. He added row after row, and would be able to leave shortly after most of his students, at this rate. He risked a glance up at the classroom, and overheard a student’s conversation with John, then looked back down at his work. He had a lot of grades to enter, and it was his turn to enter them for the biology department. Of course, Every teacher on the hall decided to have their tests around the same time, and that left him with hundreds, possibly over a thousand grades to enter. Still, people wanted to know their scores, and their department’s ‘take one for the team’ method of inputting grades really did make things less stressful. With a sigh, he scanned a row, and typed in another.

__________________

John enjoyed an animated conversation with Damara, while Dave and Karkat talked about… whatever they talk about.

“But tell me where else you can get a gun sword in real life, John. Where?” Damara asked, and John wanted to laugh. He probably could have found a gun sword somewhere in Jake and Roxy’s hunting arsenal. It led him to wonder how they even got their weapons, but not enough to distract him from their conversation.

“Okay, but the one liners are the absolute worst in anime. Come on, you have to agree with me there.” John said, and Damara looked at him.

“Hey, they have their moments.” John shrugged.

“They are few and far between.” Damara raised an eyebrow.

“You wouldn’t know that, you don’t watch enough anime to judge it.” Damara said, and John looked at her challengingly.

“Oh yeah? Name one good one liner that anyone’s said in anime, in under ten seconds.”

“Whoops, my fingers slipped.” She said, and John looked at her.

“Context?”

“Death the kid shot two people doing a cheesy reunion hug in battle to get them to shut up.” Damara said, and John put his hand from side to side.

“Eh, it’s okay. I’ve heard better in action movies.”

“That’s funny, I haven’t seen any gun swords in action movies.” Damara said smugly, and John’s eyes narrowed.

“Yeah, you also haven’t seen a girl pull a gun out of her back while simultaneously calling someone ‘senpai’ in an action movie either. Seriously, what the heck was that?” The question came out incredulously, and to John’s delight, Damara laughed.

“I don’t know, it was random! You’re right though, that was pretty weird. I still think anime action is better than normal action movies, and I doubt you can change that opinion.” She said, and John gave her a look.

“Why not? I like actual action movies so much more!” John said, and Damara shrugged.

“I just feel like it’s better. I know for a fact that I can warm anyone up to anime if they watch enough of it. Isn’t there some anime you like, at least a little?” She asked, and John put a hand on his chin.

“Oh, well Avatar the Last Airbender was a pretty good-”

“Do not finish that sentence or I swear you will not wake up tomorrow without injuries.”She made her voice threatening, and John laughed.

“Woah, no need for death threats, I’m just kidding!” John said, and as Damara relaxed, a smile twitched on her face.

“You better be. The next person who calls Avatar the Last Airbender an anime-”

“So what was your favorite anime again, Dave?” the voice, clearly belonging to Karkat caught their ears, and Damara and John overheard.

“Oh, I sure do love Aahng, from Avatar without blue cats. Let me tell you, he’s the best dang anime character of all time.” Dave said, a Texan accent appearing in his words. The look Damara gave them sent into both laughter, and John’s unimpressed expression just added to their amusement. The fact that Dave said it in the worst way possible didn’t help his case, and Damara looked a both angry and unamused. John noticed her, and put his hands up.

“Wait, Damara, don’t freak out. They were being stupid.” John said. “And clearly EAVESDROPPING.” He added, and Dave only sent him a shrug. Damara relaxed, but sent a wary eye towards Dave and Karkat.

“Your friends sure are interesting people.” Damara said, and John rolled his eyes.

“Yeah, they’re something. Anyway, what are you doing over break?” He asked, and Damara shuddered.

“Well, I’m getting ready for… finals, and probably catching up on a few series I’ve missed. What about you?” John grinned.

“We’re going to California! Roxy’s sister’s coming with her girlfriend, and Dave’s coming too.” John said, and Damara looked at him in interest.

“That sounds fun! Wait, Roxy’s sister is Rose, right? The one who likes therapy.” She provided, and John nodded.

“That’s her. I’m so excited to see her again, I haven’t gotten to since my birthday. We talk pretty often though, and she’s excited about it too in her own Rosey way.” John said, and Damara smiled.

“She sounds nice. I wish I was doing something more fun than studying for my break, but oh well. Maybe I should hang out with Nepeta.” She considered, and John’s eyebrows lifted.

“Oh, I didn’t know you knew her. She’s really nice.” John said, and Damara’s lips turned up in a smile.

“Yes, she’s a kind person. I’m pretty sure everyone knows her.” John snorted.

“And those who don’t are shipped by her. Still, she’s probably like, the nicest person I know. How long have you known her?”

“Since high school started, in freshman year.  We were in the same foreign language class.” John blinked.

“Woah, you know a foreign language?” He asked, and she smirked.

“Okay first, taking a class for two years does not make you an expert on the subject. Second, I do know Japanese, but I knew it before I took this class here. Haven’t you heard my mom like, at all? Her accent is thick.” She said, and John shrugged.

“I guess. You don’t have a Japanese accent.”

“Well, I’m not from Japan. You sound disappointed.” She said, and John shrugged.

“Not really, but accents are cool! Does it come out when you speak the language?” Damara nodded.

“Yeah, I don’t use my American accent to say the words, that’s cringy.” She said, and John looked on curiously.

“Really? I want to hear it.” John said, and she shrugged.

“Alright, your mistake. Jahn cone-niche-a- waa, anna-ta wah ootakoo dey-sue.” John giggled at the words, and she snorted when she finished. “Wow, that was awful.”

“What did you say? Why did you pronounce my name like that?” Damara shrugged.

“I over exaggerated a little, but you get the point. I just said hello and called you a nerd.”

“Hey!” He said, and she raised an eyebrow.

“Didn’t we just spend the last few minutes talking about anime vs. Action movies?” She asked, and John shrugged.

“Fine, I am.”

“We are.” She said, and they shared a smile. Eventually the bell rang, releasing students from their school. John started to walk towards the door with Damara, and Mr. English told them all to have a good break.

“See you in a week, Damara!” John said, and the girl looked up at him, a smile on her face.

“See you, John. Have a good break! She gave the boy a quick hug, and walked off to her bus. John’s grin at the action stretched across his face, and it didn’t go un noticed by anyone that knew John well in that room. Jake sighed, Karkat’s eyebrows fell, and Dave slipped back into his usual mask of an expression. John walked over to his two friends happily, and addressed the two.

“Hey guys. You ready to go, Karkat?” The shorter boy stole a glance at Dave, but he wasn’t revealing any emotions. Instead, he looked back at John.

“Yeah, I see you’re just dying to have another batshit movie night, no need to be too obvious John. See you later, Dave.” Karkat said, and John beamed at his friend.

“See you sooner than that! Have fun with Terezi.” He said, and Dave remembered his plans for this weekend, besides packing.

“Sure. Yeah, see you both later. Good luck, Karkat.” He said, and Karkat immediately stole a glance at Jake, who was still typing in grades rapidly. He looked up at the blonde in distaste.

“Yeah, whatever. Have a good break Mr. English.” Karkat said, and John spoke up.

“Oh, Have a good break!”

“Have a good break I guess.” Dave said, and Jake turned from the screen for a moment.

“Thank you boys. Be safe.” He said absentmindedly, and they made their way out of the class. Before leaving, John found another piece of paper on the floor near him. He nervously went to pick it up, and grinned when he could see the red marker through the paper. Karkat and Dave started walking, and when John bent down, they assumed it was to tie his shoe.

“One second!” He called, and his two friends paused just outstide the door. It gave John the chance to properly read the note.

“Hey, have a good spring break! I’ll give you like, seven messages to make up for all the stuff this week.” John’s eyes scrolled down the page. It seemed substantially fuller. “First, I can’t tell you my name yet. I don’t want to rush things here. Thanks for wearing the t-shirt I got you, I hoped you’d like it. Anyway, here’s seven things I like about you, from what I’ve seen and heard. You’re good at piano. I mean, really good- musical talent is appreciated. You’re pretty funny too. I like your pranks. I saw the one that you pulled in that gym room on April fool’s- that was nice. You’re really nice too, from what I’ve heard. You totally rock those yellow and blue shoes, man. If anyone could look good in those, it’s you. Your hair actually looks good messy, and you can literally say you woke up like this. That’s pretty cool. And, it’s nice that you’re cool with the supernatural. You’ve clearly known for a while, and not told anyone. That’s really cool of you- hopefully you won’t mind me much then, either.”

John’s eyes read that part again. He’d been smiling the entire time, but now he was honestly surprised. This person wasn’t human? He guessed that made sense- they had been leaving him random notes in places and remaining unseen by him. Apparently, they’d given him his Ghostbusters shirt, which was a nice gift. They seemed to be a lot like Dave, and John was willing to try to become friends with them. He read the rest of the page.

“On a more serious note, I really appreciate you not telling your friends about me yet. It would be cool as hell to be friends with you- but I don’t want them knowing about me yet. Not to say that they won’t ever, but… you know. I would really, really appreciate it. And, now that I’ve taken care of that, want to play hangman? It’s a catergory you like- 1990’s actors. Think you can guess this one?” the note asked, and a hangman platform was drawn out, along with 18 spaces. John grinned, then wrote the letter “N” at the bottom, with a question mark.

“John, hurry the fuck up!” Karkat called, and John crumbled up the piece of paper and threw it on the floor. Jake didn’t even notice.

“Sorry, coming!” He shouted, and ran out towards his friends, and spring break.

Dave was supposed to meet Terezi by the carpool lane, and it was on John and Karkat’s way, so the three walked together. Eventually John and Karkat dropped off Dave, but not without a quick, one armed friend hug from John. Terezi just smirked at him when she noticed the two hugging. John felt uncomfortable and it made him pull away, leaving Karkat to drag him off to his car. They rode it to John’s house, and threw in a random movie.

Once it ended (not without loads of commentary from both viewers), John paused to talk to Karkat.

“Hey, are you okay, Kitkat?” He asked, and Karkat glared at him. Apparently, the nickname stuck.

“I do not like that fucking nickname. At the very least, you deserve something just as stupid to go with it. Come the fuck on, John.” John’s eyebrows fell.

“Well someone’s avoiding questions today. Do you still have the parents thing on your mind? I told you, it’s going to be fine.” John said, and Karkat frowned.

“Okay, I fucking didn’t until you brought it up, and I’m not avoiding your question.”

“Then what’s going on today?” John asked. “You and Dave both seem so distant lately.” Karkat raised his eyebrows.

“When did lately start?” Karkat asked, and John shrugged.

“I don’t know, after my birthday? It’s not really you as much as him… do you think Davepe- I mean, Davebot is what’s making him so… you know?” Karkat looked surprised.

“Not really, I don’t. You two do seem quieter around each other though, what happened on your birthday?” John pouted.

“All I can really think is Davebot, but he’s been kind of in and out of life lately. I’ll see him some days, and other times he won’t be there. Has Dave said anything about him?” John asked, then broke in. “Actually wait, don’t tell me. If he wants me to know, he would tell me, right?” John asked, and Karkat frowned.

“I don’t think that’s the issue.” John frowned.

“Then what could it be? We’ll just be talking, and he’ll randomly get distant.” John said, and Karkat sighed.

“Well, you seem to be spacing out more too, lately. What’s on your mind, John?” Karkat asked, and John shrugged. He thought about the mysterious note giver, but they didn’t seem to be making him space out. They were just fascinating.

“I don’t know. I mean, I feel pretty okay right now.” It was the truth, and Karkat accepted it.

“Okay then, re-create what happened on your birthday. What happened then that’s making you two so spacey now?” He asked, and John frowned.

“Well, he took my car and drove us away from school. Uh, we got there, and he told me to put on my bathing suit. After that we went on a ride with a ton of loops and stuff, and then after some more, we did a plunging one. He only started to have fun after I told him to focus on stuff other than the terror of falling down. Um, we went on more rides after that, we met a nice couple at Thunder River. After that, we went on a few more rides, ate a little, and went on a Ferris wheel- oh.” John said, ant Karkat arched an eyebrow.

“Oh? What the fuck does that mean?”

“I think I remember what... yeah. We got to talk a lot, and look out at the park.” Karkat looked almost nervous.

“What did you guys talk about?”

“Um, some stuff. Uh, I brought up dating, and he told me his sexuality. It wasn’t a huge deal, but I think after that I thought about the dating stuff more.” Karkat held a breath.

“What dating stuff exactly?” He asked, and John almost looked nervous.

“Okay, so you know how a lot of people say Dave and I act like we’re dating, and stuff? Well, I didn’t get what they meant for a while, but I sort of understood what they meant. So, when I walk in the hallways and see people holding hands in public, I always used to associate doing that with someone like Damara, but I guess I thought about what dating Dave, and my other friends would be like.”

“And?”

“And I guess when I thought about it for Dave it was kind of like the type of thing we do every day, not what you would expect. Wow, that sounds kind of weird out loud.” Karkat shook his head though.

“Not really. I mean, all really close friendships should have a few romantic elements, even if there’s no attraction between the two.” John didn’t say anything, and Karkat looked at him. “I mean, unless you are feeling-”

“No, no. I don’t like Dave like that, he’s my best friend. I guess that’s just why I’ve been so spacey lately, since I’ve been thinking about it. But that doesn’t explain him.” John said, and Karkat shrugged.

“Maybe he’s thinking about the same thing as you. Talk to him.” Karkat suggested, and John’s ears burned.

“What? No, I can’t just say, ‘Oh hey platonic bff of mine, I’ve been thinking about dating you so often that it looks like I’m zoned out all the time! Wowie gee, aren’t we the best of platonic bro mates?” John said, and Karkat snorted.

“Okay first, wow. Second, it’s not that weird. You said you’ve thought about all your friends, right? That circle unfortunately includes me, and you seem to be doing a good job with it here.” He said, and John shook his head.

“It’s different with you, we do this sort of thing all the time. With Dave it’s just… urgh, you know! You don’t just have hours of heartwarming, talk about your feelings sessions with Dave, he’s too cool for that, even if he is a huge dork.” John said, and Karkat raised an eyebrow.

“What about with Rose? Could you talk about it with her?” He asked, and John thought about it.

“Not without getting the life analyzed out of me. But, I guess I could, she wouldn’t get too weird because I’ve thought about dating her.”

“Jade?” Karkat asked, and John’s lips turned downwards in suspicion.

“Yes, we actually had a conversation about it once, when we were like thirteen.” John said, and Karkat added more names to the list.

“Nepeta? Equius?” He asked, and John frowned.

“I guess so? I mean I thought about it, but I don’t know either super well. Also, I am not a homosexual. I probably wouldn’t.”

“Damara?” Karkat asked, and John’s cheeks flushed.

“Um, I don’t know. I guess I would rather act it out than talk about it. I guess if we really had to, having a conversation about it would just be really awkward, and I guess the same goes for Dave? What’s the point?”

“John, if he’s your best friend, you should be able to talk with him about pretty much anything- especially things you can say to other people. You should talk to him about it, and even if it’s a little weird, you should be able to say it.” Karkat said, and John sighed.

“I guess you’re right. Still, how would Dave even take that? I mean, talking about us dating, together. It’s weird, but it would also be normal, because we’re already so close- Karkat, am I too close to Dave?” John asked, and Karkat shook his head.

“No, you’re not. You two are fine. Besides, you like seeing him all the time, right?”

“After not being able to for six years, who wouldn’t?” Karkat smirked.

“I think I could live without seeing Strider’s douchiness in person for a few years. But I’m sure that wouldn’t be great for you.” John sighed.

“No, that would stink, I’m really glad I got to meet him. But really, how do you think he’d take the news?” John asked, and Karkat shrugged.

“He probably wouldn’t mind either way. Tell him why you’ve been zoning out so much, that’s probably why he’s gotten so distant. You know communication is important, and now you have an entire week with him.” Karkat said, and John sighed.

“Okay, I will. What about you, everything okay in Karkat ville?”

“Besides the looming meet the parents session? Yeah, everything’s fine. Do you want to watch something else?” He asked, and John thought about it.

“Actually, yes. But not a movie, if that’s okay.”

“What did you have in mind?”

“Only the greatest, Will Smithiest, 90’sest thing show in the world. Just give it a chance before you hate it, okay?” Karkat snorted.

“Okay, why the hell not.” Karkat scooted up to John’s computer, and John looked for episode one online. In an instant he found it, and played it in full screen before Karkat saw the name. The catchy beat came in, and John couldn’t help it- he had to sing along.

“Now this is the story all about how-” To his surprise, Karkat joined his singing.

“My life got flip turned upside down! And I’d like to take a minute, just sit right there-”

“I’ll tell you how I became the prince of a town called Bel Air! Karkat, you know this?” John asked, excitement in his voice. Karkat’s words, for once, were filled with something other than malice (or that tone he used when he was offering emotional support).

“Are you fucking kidding? This is one of the best shows to ever grace this unworthy planet, of course I know this. It would be a crime not to have heard of this theme song, Egbert. I just can’t believe someone else is into this stuff, damn.” John grinned.

“I know, this is so cool. Okay, are you sleeping over? I haven’t seen this in forever.”

“Let me call my dad, we’re marathoning this tonight.” Karkat stated, and John grinned. He paused the show and went to go tell Roxy, while Karkat quickly whipped out his cell phone, and their wondrous night began.

______________________--

AN: Okay, the song they were singing was the Fresh Prince of Bel Air theme, and if you haven’t seen this show you should. No, you have to, author’s orders, it’s happening. It is the single 90est thing I’ve ever  done, and I do not regret watching this show in the slightest. Actually, Karkat watches a troll version of this, and he was the reason why I started watching it. So, if not for me, DO IT FOR HIM. Check out at least the first episode, and any random episode in like season four or beyond. You must see this. Watch the Fresh Prince.

On a story related note, I like to picture John and Karkat belting the lyrics to Broadway musicals at 2am when they have sleepovers, and that’s the reason why they haven’t invited Dave. Plus, it’s kind of their thing, so I haven’t let other characters in on it yet.

Question of the chapter: What’s your favorite episode of the fresh prince? See, I’m forcing you to go watch it now, if you want to answer. Muwahahahaaa.

Okay, Ciao, and SEE YOU AL IN CHAPTER 100 DANG.

JAFNF Chapter 100

(Saturday, April 24)

When Dave woke up the next morning, he rolled out of bed. The blonde found himself glowing, and immediately shut it off. He remembered that he had to pack today, since they planned to leave on Sunday. The drive to California would take hours, but they still planned to do it all on one day. He remembered talking to Terezi last night, and it had actually been nice. Despite her resident curiosity with law and the proven ability to ‘smell colors’, she was actually a chill person, and one of Dave’s closest friends. They ‘ironically’ played with the scale mate plush toys she had lying around her room, and actually had a nice time playing and watching ace attorney.

At one point she brought up her best friend, prompting Dave to do the same, but they didn’t really focus on other people. In the end, both had a nice enough time, and Dave almost doubted she was joking when she said she’d miss him for the week. Dave could kind of see why John thought he liked her, considering that half of their conversations ended up as flirts anyway. Of course, he wasn’t into her like that, and he hoped she felt the same. With a groan he sat up, then moved to go do something constructive. Of course, those efforts stopped when he saw a flash in the corner of his room, and immediately rolled off his bed.

Luckily, Candlescratch, his main blade, sat at the foot of his bed and he caught it as he fell. Dave was lucky he didn’t sleep naked. He still lacked a shirt, but Dirk was kind enough to let him put one on before continuing the sword slashes. In fact, he had a sweatshirt on, which would hopefully combat the cold morning air as they ultimately moved to the roof.

“Good morning.” He said, and began to swing back. After a careful series of ducks and dodges, he was out of his bedroom, and used his sword to grind down the stair rails. Dirk seemed pleased at the admittedly cool  action, and he smirked.

“Morning.” He said, and swung yet again. Dave rolled his eyes. He didn’t even get the chance to put his sunglasses on, and he felt naked without them, but continued anyway. Dirk, of course, wore his sunglasses and they magically didn’t slide off during the arial flips, or other random maneuvers they did. The two fought their way to the fire escape, and easily brought themselves to the roof. Dave stuck to the usual slashes and jabs as they reached their destination. Eventually, they started to get into the real fighting, and things were going well.

Dave felt the sword graze a careless hand, and groaned. He already knew what it meant- tens of the usual.  He would have to be more careful this time, because his brother didn’t mess around when it came to physical penalties.

“Why the fuck are we- ah, shit! We already had one this week!” Dave said, and Dirk responded casually.

“You probably won’t be doing this with the Egbert family, so consider this make up for next week.” His response prompted Dave to frown and adjust how he stood.

“Asshole.” He muttered, but surveyed his brother’s form. His brother didn’t have any visible openings, but he saw the adult raise his sword. He knew that an opening would arise once he faked to the right, thrusted left and spun around, and Dave was ready for it. As he did just what Dave predicted, he prepared to strike, but Dirk’s words cut him off. “Hey Jake.” He said, and put a finger up, immediately distancing the two. Dave groaned- that would have been an awesome hit, and his brother would have had to do the tens as well, without flash stepping. “No, nothing as important as you, babe.” He said. The words made Dave cringe outwardly, but the action only seemed to amuse his brother.

“Are we still-”

“Hey, busy.” Dirk responded, then sounded surprised. “No, not you! Dave’s just being a pansy because he wants to get this strife over with.” Dirk paused. “No really, I’m not. I paused it.” The man stopped talking again, and Dave started to wonder if he could just ease back inside. “Well, we could continue while I’m talking if you really want.” The vampire slowly crept towards the fire escape. “No, I have perfect focus. Please, it would be fine.” In an instant, Dave absconded, and it apparently didn’t draw the attention of his brother. As he grabbed his sunglasses, he could still hear Dirk talking on the roof. “Really, it’s not a- hey, where the fuck did Dave go?” He said aloud, and Dave suppressed a laugh.

He knew the rules of these strifes. If he could manage to get away, he didn’t have to do it. The rule existed since their childhood training. If he didn’t have to fight someone, he should never, ever do it. Of course, Dave learned long ago that it was near impossible to get away from his older sibling in a strife battle, but it got the lesson across. Now, Jake distracted Dirk, and he walked over to the kitchen victoriously. Not only did he get out of battle, he also didn’t have to deal with the laps, crunches, suicides, burpies, and other physical exercises his brother often used as a penalty. 

The young man walked over to the kitchen, intent on devouring some sugary breakfast. As he prepared to make the decision between sugary cereal and pop tarts, the door to his basement burst open, and Jade appeared.

“Oh hey-”

“I’ve got it!” She shouted, and Dave raised an eyebrow.

“Morning, Jade. What exactly did you get?”

“Latula Pyrope, I analyzed her Dna. I figured out what she was!” Jade said, and Dave sat in silence for a second, waiting for her to continue.

“Uh… what is she?” He said helpfully, and Jade glared at him.

“No, wow gee Jade, job well done? No, thanks for not doing anything for the past month but trying to figure this out? Nothing?” She asked, and Dave shrugged.

“Okay, wow gee Jade, job well done. Thanks for doing nothing except for attempting to solve this conundrum for the last month.” Dave said the words in a monotone voice, but Jade nodded in satisfaction.

“You’re welcome. Anyway, she’s part daemon, like maybe half of her.” Dave automatically put a hand on his sword.

“Is she… will she try to, you know, convert?” Dave asked, and Jade shrugged.

“I don’t know, but we should probably give her the diggity dang  lowdown on daemons, if you know what I’m saying.” Dave blinked.

“Can I pay you not to say that again?” He asked, but Jade giggled and shook her head.

“Nope! I’m filthy stinking rich, bro.” In an instant, Dirk stood in front of them, startling Dave.

“Dave, you lazy ass, cheating piece of- oh, Jade?” He asked, and Jade grinned.

“Hi Dirk! Good morning!” She said, and he gave a legit smile at the greeting.

“Morning pumpkin. You seem excited.” He said, and Jade nodded.

“I am, I finally figured out what Latula is.” Dirk’s eyebrows lifted, and he ruffled her hair.

“Oh, really? Well, that’s awesome. Fantastic work Jade, I know you’ve been doing that for a while.”

“Thanks!” She beamed, giving Dave a pointed look. He just rolled his eyes and walked back to the kitchen. After all, the sickeningly sweet interactions between Jade and his older sibling led him to remember that he needed something sweet for breakfast. Jade explained Latula’s partial species, and Dirk seemed concerned. Dave eventually chose pop tarts, and threw them in the toaster. He casually walked to the TV to find something to watch, and Jade bounced onto the couch beside him. The action prompted Dirk to hover over them on the back of the couch, a can of soda in hand.

Dave saw that my little pony was on, but he skipped past it. Of course, the action made Dirk frown, but he didn’t protest on Jade’s behalf. Of course, Jade spoke up anyway.

“Dave, you should watch My Little Pony.” She said, and Dave gave her a sideways glance.

“What? But there’s thousands of other shows-”

“Holy shit, you like My Little Pony?” Dirk asked, and Jade grinned sheepishly at him.

“Yeah, Dave said you liked it, so we checked it out, and I kept watching form there.” Dirk actually, legitimately grinned at that, and Dave sighed. With two bronies against him, there was no way he could watch something else, so he turned it on and stood up. Jade looked behind him. “Ah, Dave! Come on, you like this show too.” Jade said, and Dave rolled his eyes.

“Ironically, at best. You two have fun in weird things you’re too old for land, I’m good.” Dave said, and Jade didn’t protest. Without checking the clock, he knew his pop tarts would be ready in seconds, and absentmindedly grabbed a plate. He walked over to the toaster, and had his hands posed above it. Immediately the pastries were in his hands and he unplugged the toaster in one fluid motion. The blonde walked up the stairs and sighed as Jade laughed at a joke meant for ten year old girls. He had packing to do anyway.

______________________

John wiped his forehead as training finally ended. He shut off Davepetabot, then immediately put them on level T again.

“Nice work, Johnny boy!” Roxy said, causing Jake to step in and clap him on the shoulder.

“Yes, well done today old chap, way to start off break with a bang.” John grinned at the praise.

“Thanks! You guys were awesome too!” Their robots were off, and Davepetabot spoke up.

“Actually Egbert, I can count at least 20 openings that I didn’t take. You should keep your purrvival skills sharp. But yeah, besides that, great job.” They said sarcastically, and Roxy laughed at the words. John smirked.

“Okay, well if you’re so good at everything, carry me to the car.”John said, and Davepetabot shrugged.

“Sure.” They responded easily, and John frowned at first, but gasped.

“Wait, can you fly me home instead?” He asked, and Davepetabot looked at Roxy. She shrugged, and Davepetabot looked down at John.

“Alright, prepare for liftoff.” John grinned, and looked at Roxy.

“Hey, can you take my hammer?” He asked, and she shrugged.

“Sure thing Johnny.” Davepetabot looked back at John.

“You ready?” He asked, and John cheered in response. “Alright, let’s go.” Immediately he flew into the clouds, and John cheered again. They went quickly at first. The robot loved their wings, and prepared to use them at every second possible. He would have liked to have John on his back, but from the speed he travelled at, it wasn’t an option. As they rocketed forward, they did an advanced set of flips and turns, then dangerous dives.

At one point, Davepetabot travelled high in the cloudy sky, only to plummet seconds later. John screamed the whole time, and Davepetabot had to quiet him a little. He stayed silent for a minute, but eventually laughs erupted from his mouth, and he shrugged it off. As long as no one was filming, things wouldn’t be a problem. At one point Davepetabot stopped to allow John to take in the view. John wrapped his arms around the robot’s neck to help himself sit up in his arms and see better.

“How is the view?” He asked, and John sighed.

“Incredible.” John said, and sighed. He’d looked at the exact same sky months ago, in the same position, with the same person. The boy frowned. It was just like this, the day Davepetabot… John suddenly felt sick. “Davepetabot, can we go home?” He asked, and Davepetabot looked down in surprise.

“What? John, I thought-”

“Please.” He said, and the robot noticed little traces of tears in the corners of his eyes. The actions surprised him, and the robot did the mechanical equivalent of swallowing heavily.

“Okay.” And in an instant they were off again. He noticed John take his hands off his neck, but the boy was silent. Davepetabot didn’t attempt the flips and dive’s they’d done before stopping, and they landed at home. The second they touched the ground John ran inside, and up the stairs to his room. Davepetabot, unsure what was wrong, followed him. They realized that John closed and locked the door that connected his room to the upstairs bathroom. In an instant, the orange robot knocked on it. “John?” They called, and heard a sniff, then John cleared his throat.

“Uh, yes? Davepetabot? I’m just in the bathroom.” He asked, and if the robot hadn’t seen him earlier, he would have sounded like he was fine. John’s voice was the perfect mix between upbeat and inquisitive, but as his best friend, Davepetabot knew better.

“Mind telling me what happened up there?”

“I just had to use the bathroom really badly! You can power off if you want, I’m okay.” Davepetabot’s eyebrows fell down. John sounded completely fine, but he couldn’t have been. So, he took a risk.

“No, you’re not. Tell me what’s wrong, John.” He said. He could either come out sounding really stupid if he was fine, or get to the root of a serious problem.

“Davepetabot, I’m just using the bathroom in here, no need to be so worried, geez! Go ahead, I’m okay.” Davepetabot paused for a second.

“John, I know you’re not okay.” They heard silence on the other end. “Did I do something?”

“Davepetabot, shut down.” John said, and his voice broke enough for his system not to recognize it as a command. The robot was hurt, and their voice got softer in disbelief.

“John…”

“Davepetabot! Not now, okay?” He shouted, his voice angry. “Not now. Shut off.” He said again, and Davepetabot’s lips set in a frown.

“Fine.” They said, and proceeded to walk to his corner of the room. As soon as John heard the noise from him shutting down, he sniffled again. John remembered how he found him, against the wall and too still. He remembered frantically pressing buttons, turning switches, and using the voice command. He remembered how his voice grew more and more desperate as he tried to turn Davepetabot on. How Davepetabot didn’t answer his question, and how his little website didn’t answer anything.

He remembered how crushed he felt when he found he couldn’t reboot Davepetabot’s memories, and how helpless he felt when he realized the robot wouldn’t turn on again. He remembered getting mad at Dave after he only gave him good advice. And to see Davepetabot just replicate his last happy moment with the robot before his death caused… something. He had the nerve to just sit there, and make John relive the moment when he’d fallen in love with the robot? Except, they didn’t kiss, they didn’t send John off spinning and blushing, and wondering what was wrong. He still didn’t know what was wrong, and why the robot did it to him.

John felt a stray tear fall down his face, and hit himself in the forehead. He would absolutely not cry over this. He was over this! Roxy still hadn’t arrived at home yet to his knowledge, and John walked out of the bathroom, his shoulders unnaturally squared.

“You’re fine.” He said out loud, trying to steady his breathing. He saw Davepetabot again and his hands curled into fists.

He walked over to the robot, and confirmed he was off. John put his hand on the robot’s face, and caressed his cheek. He thought about the all too familiar situation, and sniffled again. He felt his throat get tight, and his other fist closed tighter. His small nails clenched in his hand, and he glared at the robot with a sudden, unexplained hatred. John felt tears slip down his cheek, and he wanted to scream.  He wiped a few away furiously, but of course, he couldn’t staunch the flow. Why had he left him, when it seemed to have no physical benefit? The robot standing before him was an insult- the person who could have answers to the questions he had for months, but knew nothing of his past life. He so carelessly replicated their last moment, without even a slight understanding of how hurt John felt. With a furrowed brow, he turned back towards Davepetabot, and found his fist against his face. It knocked the robot against the wall, and in his anger, John punched again.

“Why?” He asked him, expecting no response. John punched, using the word every time his fist connected with metal. The robot’s regenerative processes kicked in, but John didn’t care. He accented every punch with the question why, and eventually, he just lightly beat against his chest while sobbing.  The boy had his forehead on his chest and he cried. “Why did you do it?” He’d ask, and receive no response. After a few more seconds of crying, John felt the robot’s arms around his back, but barely recognized it. He just sobbed with his hands on his chest, and Davepetabot, though confused, held him without complaint.

Eventually John’s sobs slowed to little hiccups, and a loud sniff. He finally felt the robot’s arms shift around him, and looked up in surprise.

“Davepetabot? How long have you been… I didn’t tell you-”

“You punched me and engaged combat mode, I overrided it and shut it off. John, what the fuck is wrong?” They asked. “What did I do to you, to make you…” He asked, holding John’s shoulders. John’s shoulders sagged, and he pushed the robot away.

“Nothing. Just, leave me alone, I’m sorry for punching you.” John spoke, but Davepetabot caught his arm.

“No! John, why do you hate me? What did I do?” He asked, and John whipped around again, his anger back.

“You think I hate you? You’re asking me what you did? I just … urgh!” John grabbed his shirt, pulled Davepetabot forward, and pressed his lips to the robot’s face. Surprised, Davepetabot didn’t reciprocate, and John quickly let go. In an instant, John pushed him away again, and the hunter seemed just as angry as before.

“John, I-”

“You want to know why I’m mad? You left me, Davebot! You left, with a note on a website and that’s it! Do you even get how that feels? You left, on purpose!” John shouted, and the robot’s eyes were wide.

“I don’t get it!” He insisted, and John slammed himself down in his computer chair. He typed something in quickly, and slid away.

“Is this all I meant to you? Dirk told me not to say anything, but you’re just so…” John couldn’t finish his sentence. The anger slowly drained out of him as he saw Davepetabot’s face change. He read the words on the screen, and the robot’s voice grew somber.

“I don’t understand, what is this?” He asked John, his eyes wide. John wilted at the question, but answered.

“This is the website you made on March 8 th of this year. I found it the afternoon after I got home from school, the same day as the first time I told you I loved you. When I returned home, I found you in a corner with a sticky note in your hand, and it had the address of this website. You-” John’s voice was a little raw, from the crying and the shouting he’d been doing. “You wouldn’t turn on.” Davepetabot stood back from the website, a horrified look on his face.

“I committed suicide?” He asked, his voice sounding disbelieving, and achingly human. “Why? Didn’t I… love you?”He said the words carefully, and John looked down.

“I don’t know! You never told me. You just… left. You tried to kiss me goodbye, but by the time I realized it, I was too late, and I’ve just been wondering why, this entire time. Dirk brought you back again, but you don’t remember, and it’s like having you back again but it’s not.” John said, and wrapped his arms around himself. Davepetabot put his hand on his head.

“John, I’m-”

“No!” John interrupted, and he flinched at the term. John’s voice got softer. “I- don’t say you’re sorry, you don’t even know what you’re sorry for. You thought it was the right decision, and for whatever reason you did it without telling me. Don’t apologize.” John said, and Davepetabot sighed.

“Then what do I say?” He asked, and John shrugged.

“I don’t know. I’m sorry for freaking out on you today, I don’t hate you. You’re just… him, but not, and it’s hard.” John said, and Davepetabot looked down. He wasn’t sure if he was supposed to feel ashamed or what, because he had no memory of doing this to John. Even if his existence put John in danger, somehow, he could have said something. His best friend in the world, and a month ago, his boyfriend, or something, was upset because of him. Davepetabot took a deep breath and sat on John’s bed.

“This is my fault, don’t apologize.” Davepetabot said, and John sighed.

“It’s not your fault. It was just something in your programming, or something. I don’t blame this you, Davepetabot, and I don’t even know if I can blame the old one, I just…” He paused, and the robot put his hand on the bed next to him, a clear invitation for John to sit. John hesitated, but eventually came. Dave, or Davepetabot at least, was still his best friend. They sat in a reflective silence for a while. John could tell that Davepetabot had questions, but did nothing to initiate conversation. Being with him was too familiar.bm

“John.” The boy looked up at him, and Davepetabot sighed. “Okay, I don’t know if this is too purrsonal or not, but I’m going to need to know what I can’t do around you, and what I can. Did he take you flying often? And, can I still do that?” He asked, and John sighed.

“I- Yeah, after today, you can.”

“What else did he do around you?” He asked, and John’s face flushed, and he looked up at the robot a little bashfully.

“You sure you want to hear about all of this? It’s, um, a little…”

“You didn’t have sex, did you?” John looked scandalized.

“No!” Davepetabot smirked.

“Okay then, tell me everything.” He said, and John’s lips turned up into a sort of smile.

“Then, I guess we start with what he’d do in the morning, and work from there?”

“Sounds good to me.” And John grinned sheepishly as he retold the many, many different things he’d do to John.

________________________________________--------

AN: Hey, I thought a chapter like this was necessary, you know? First, Davepetabot was bound to do something that reminded John of Davebot, eventually. So hey, he might as well do it now. Also Dirk called Jade pumpkin, like, aww. And a strife happened too, but I may re write that later. But wait, there’s more, because Indirect Dave and Terezi shenanigans happened too. No, she is currently not shipped with Vriska in any quardrant, but I’m pretty sure their relationship would be best described as a platonic version of the diamond. Uh, currently? John’s not quite black for Terezi, they just make each other really uncomfortable. And as for that kiss in this chapter, don’t pay too much attention to it. John was just expressing his frustration and trying to get Davepetabot to see why he was so mad, but in the angriest way possible.

HAPPY 100 TH CHAPTER!

JAFNF Chapter 101

(Sunday, April 25)

Dave Stretched, and rolled his eyes. It was one in the morning, and he stood on the Egbert family’s driveway, with his arm on his brother’s window. He’d been fussing over Dave for an hour or more now, and as the blonde stood with his suitcase, he suppressed a groan.

“Okay, but you have it with you, right?” Dirk asked, and Dave nodded.

“Bro, I have my sword, we’ll be fine. Seriously, it’s just one week.”

“Okay, sure, but do they know where to go if you need extra blood?”

“Kanaya’s coming too, we’ll be fine. Bro, I can handle myself.” Dirk raised his eyebrow.

“Weren’t you the one who complained for hours about a lack of apple juice until John brought you one, that one time?” He asked with a raised eyebrow, and Dave only smirked.

“At least I didn’t whine about Jake on… well, any occasion you whine about Jake. It’s obsessive, man.” Dave said, and Dirk’s eyebrows narrowed.

“Name one time.” Dave put a hand against his forehead.

“Oh, Dave! He sent me two exclamation marks on a compliment, what does it mean? He hasn’t spoken to me in the past two days? My goodness, he must be breaking up with me! And let’s not forget the crisis you had when he asked how you were doing for the first time, like damn.” Dave said, and Dirk glared at his brother.

“Dave, shut up. I said only one. Anyway, text me every night, and don’t go off alone anywhere, or mess around on the full moon. Actually, just stay in your room that night, okay? If possible, only be around Kanaya. Stay safe, and don’t do anything stupid like usual.” The man said. Dave rolled his eyes.

“Yeah, I’ll miss you too bro. Tell Karkat I say hi. And really, tone down the desperation with Jake, damn. Not attractive.” Dave said, and Dirk rolled his eyes in response.

“Sure, whatever. Have a good trip!” He said, announcing the words to the five other people on the driveway. John ran over to him before he could drive away, a grin clear on his features.

“Thanks for letting him come, Bro! This is going to be so much fun!” John said, and Dirk smirked.

“Yeah, I hope so, thanks for inviting him. Have fun, you guys.” The blonde pulled off in his truck, and John looked at Dave’s suitcase. They had a rental car with space to fit all six of them and their luggage. Everyone’s things were inside except for Dave’s, and John eyed the red bag.

“Dave! Can I-” he paused and yawned. “Sorry. Can I help you with your luggage?” He asked, but Dave shook his head.

“Nah Egbert, it’s okay. Allow me to use my fanatical vampire strength on this mortal suitcase.” The blonde said, and John shrugged.

“If you say so. You know, you never told me what happens to you guys on a full moon. Is it going to be an issue? I think we’re sharing a room.” John said, and Dave shrugged.

“I should be fine, John.” His lips turned skyward at the thought of room sharing, which ultimately meant staying up late and talking, or doing whatever else. Dave felt alert, as a ‘creature of the night’, and Kanaya and Rose wandered over to him. Rose looked mildly displeased at the time of day, but offered Dave a polite smile.

“Dave, it’s wonderful to have you join us.” Rose said, and Dave smirked.

“Hey, I couldn’t say no to John.”

“Really? Give me a hundred dollars!” John announced, and Dave smirked.

“Cash or credit?” John wasn’t sure what he was expecting, but he grinned.

“Actually, I’d prefer it in gift cards.” They laughed at that, and Rose cleared her throat. Dave turned to the girl.

“Oh, sorry Rose. How have things been in New York?” He asked, and she shrugged.

“Oh, the same as always. Kanaya’s visits, as usual, serve as a highlight whenever they happen. It feels like all of my close friends and family live in Washington now, so it’s definitely nice to catch up.” She responded. Dave raised an eyebrow.

“No need to get so desperate sis, I texted you yesterday. And yesterday only ended one hour and three minutes ago.” He said, and John yawned again, prompting Rose to do the same. The blonde rolled her eyes.

“Well, it certainly feels like it’s been ages since I’ve slept. How are you so alert?” She asked, and John yawned again.

“Yeah Dave, it’s like, one in the morning.” John said, and Dave looked at him smugly.

“For your information, It’s 1:04 and three seconds. Also, I’m not the only one, Kanaya seems fine.” Kanaya raised an eyebrow at him.

“How did you know?” Kanaya asked, and Dave raised an eyebrow.

“You don’t look very tired, Kanaya. I always assumed it was the vampire thing.” He commented, and Kanaya let out a short laugh, but shook her head.

“No, I mean, the time. Did you just make it up?” She asked, and John pulled out his phone on impulse.

“He was right about it being 1:04. Dave, did you see a clock or something?” John asked, and Dave looked a little confused at himself.

“Actually, no. I have no idea how I knew, I kind of just did.” John looked at him in confusion, and Rose put a hand on her chin.

“What time is it now? As specific as you can go.” Dave frowned, but found that he was able to answer.

“When you asked that, it was 1:04 am and four decaseconds, forty one seconds, twenty centiseconds, thirty milliseconds, sixty microseconds, and two point two three nanoseconds… What the fuck?” Dave asked, and John’s eyes widened.

“Dave, that’s so cool! How the heck did you do that?” He asked, looking upwards at his taller friend. Dave looked down at himself, mystified, then forced a smirk.

“Because cool people always have to be ironically late, so they’ll always know the time, right?” Kanaya looked at him with a raised eyebrow, and Rose looked unimpressed. John laughed.

“Dave, that sounds stupid.” John said, and Kanaya’s lips turned up at the somewhat childish word.

“I would have to agree, that makes little sense. And, I believe the term is fashionably late- but regardless. Be honest, Dave.” She said, and Dave shrugged.

“Okay, you’ve got me. In all seriousness, I have no fucking clue how I just did that. To answer your question though, Rose, it’s because I’m a vampire, and Kanaya is too. We get shaper vision at night and stuff. As for this clock thing, I don’t know.” Dave said, and John looked at the group.

“Oh, wait, what if this is vampire stuff too? Like, your super personal powers, or something?” John asked, and Dave raised an eyebrow at him.

“You think my super personal powers will involve being a clock? Seriously? That would suck.” John shrugged.

“Lame powers are better than no powers at all, right? But hey, you can be clock boy, and I’ll be hammer man, and we’ll save the world!” John said, and looked at Kanaya. “I could picture it.” He said, and Rose stifled a laugh.

“Oh yes John, hammerman and clock boy, to the rescue. How utterly enthralling.” The delivery was monotone, and John laughed a little at the words.

“Geez Rose, no need to be so harsh! But-” John yawned again. “I don’t think we’d be that good as super heroes, if clock boy here was my sidekick.”

“I believe that Dave could be a perfectly functional sidekick.” Kanaya said, and Dave smirked.

“See, she knows what she’s talking about. I could be really useful in some ridiculous, oddly specific situations.” The blonde said, and before they could continue their conversation, Roxy called out to them.

“Kiddos, get in the car! We have thirteen hours plus on the road ahead of us, we should leave as soon as we can!” Roxy commented, sticking her head out of the driver’s seat window.  She looked completely awake, and enthralled. Kanaya and Rose shared a look. Was she a vampie too? Even Kanaya and Dave couldn’t manage that much enthusiasm in one morning. John’s Dad smiled kindly from the passenger’s seat, and pretended to pull on a string.

“All aboard the Egbert vacation express!” he said, and both Rose and John shook their heads at the actions. Dave felt a smile twitch at his face, and Kanaya started to walk towards the vehicle. After entering, she smiled politely at John’s father and Roxy.

“Thank you for inviting me on your vacation.” Roxy smirked.

“Sure thing, Kanaya. Rose was begging me to let you come, not that I’d say no anyway. We’re going to have a great time!” Kanaya smiled at her, and Roxy’s eyes flitted past her hand, only to land on it again. “Oh, you have a bracelet?” She asked, and Kanaya smiled, then took it out from under her dress’ sleeve. She showed it to her, and smiled at it with pride. It had her chainsaw attatched to a chain.

“It was a gift from Rose, so that I could attach my chainsaw and carry it around.” John’s dad stood up and left the car at one point, and John, Dave and Rose most likely talked outside. The two were alone, and she looked at the gift with doting eyes.

“That’s so cute!”

“It is one of my most prized possessions. I’m so grateful that she got this for me. Rose really is wonderful.” Kanaya said, and Roxy smiled at her.

“Aww. You two are adorable. You know Dave’s sunglasses? The Ben Stillers?” Roxy asked, and Kanaya nodded. She smiled. “John gave those to him for his birthday, three years ago.” Roxy said, and Kanaya blinked.

“He wears them every day!” She said, and the adult woman grinned.

“I know. You kids are so cutesy.” Roxy said. “Which is why this trip is going to be awesome!” John entered the car after her, and took the seat behind Kanaya. He looked at the blonde woman in surprise.

“Okay Mo-Roxy, I know you’re upbeat all the time, but it’s 2 am and you’re about to drive for hours! How are you not-” John yawned again. “Tired?”He asked, and Roxy grinned.

“It’s magic, sweetheart. Just kidding, it’s because I’m so pumped to see California! Aren’t you?” She asked, and Rose answered for her, taking the seat next to Kanaya.

“It’s not that we’re not excited, it’s just one in the morning. Still, Sister’s always been the energetic one, John. Surely you’ve known her long enough to know this, John.” John nodded.

“Yeah, I guess so.” Dave and John’s dad took their seats, and after making sure everything was okay, the six were off. John’s Dad fell asleep immediately, while Roxy stayed upbeat and animated, then carefully listened to the map’s instructions. Eventually, everyone in the car fell asleep except for Dave. John’s head rested against Dave’s shoulder, and he had a small smile on his face at the sight, but it turned into a frown. The blonde leaned his hand against his seat in concentration. He joked it away earlier, but Dave couldn’t figure out why he knew the time. After about an hour of silence, Roxy whispered.

“Dave, are you still up?” Roxy asked, and Dave whispered back.

“Uh, yeah.” He responded, and Roxy looked at him in the rearview mirror. He had his sunglasses on, but Roxy still looked at his face and deemed him awake.

“Hey, what’s up? Everyone else is dead to the world- even Kanaya.” Roxy said, and Dave looked away.

“I couldn’t sleep. Just thinking.” He said, and frowned. Okay, that may not have been the best course of action. He wasn’t supposed  to tell hunters about budding powers, and between teleporting and knowing the time constantly, he had a lot on his mind. Roxy, thankfully, gave him a way out in case he wasn’t up for sharing.

“About what? John?” Dave felt his cheeks color a little.

“Uh, what do you mean?” Roxy gave him a knowing smile.

“Oh don’t worry, they’re asleep. You and John are pretty close friends though, right? I mean, you two would have to be, but still.” Roxy said, and Dave looked down. He’d been trying to avoid his infatuation with his best friend, and he wasn’t sure, but he felt like Roxy knew.

“Yeah, we are. He’s my best friend in the world, you know?” He said, and Roxy nodded.

“I get it, Dave.” She said, and Dave’s eyes widened for a second, and his eyebrows fell. What had she meant?

“You do?” He asked her, and she sighed.

“Yeah. Do me a favor, Dave?”

“Anything.” Dave said, and he meant it. He found that he liked Roxy, a lot.

“Please just…be there for him, okay? If anything happens, just be there for him. Can you do that for me?” She asked, and Dave nodded. He sighed when he remembered how he dealt with Davebot, but promised himself that he would be a better friend in the future.

“Of course.” He said, and Roxy smiled faintly.

“Thanks Dave. Anyway, if you’re worried, or whatever it is that’s keeping you up, don’t freak out about it. You’re on vacation, you’re not supposed to be worrying. Have a good time, and leave all that stuff you think about behind for a week. Also, get some rest, not sleeping won’t help.”  She said, and John’s Dad snored. She closed his mouth with a careful hand. “If you can sleep through his snoring at least, geez.” Dave felt the corners of his mouth turn up. He appreciated Roxy’s words, a lot.

“Thanks Roxy, I’ll try.” The blonde said, and she switched lanes.

“Good.” He leaned against the seat and eventually, fell asleep. When Dave woke up again, John’s Dad was in the driver’s seat, and they were in California. It was just past 9 am, and they were halfway through their journey. John grinned at him the second he realized his best friend was awake. Dave still had his sunglasses on his face, but he stretched in his seatbelt and noticed his friend.

“He rises!” John announced, and Dave rubbed his head.

“Morning Egdork.” He said, and John smiled at him.

“Good morning! Geez, you sleep like the dead.” John commented, and Dave raised an eyebrow.

“No kidding. Is everyone else up?” He asked, and John pointed at Roxy.

“Pretty much! We’ll have to wake her up later though, for breakfast. Still, she drove a lot. Dad says we’re going to have food in San Fransisco!” He said, and John’s dad affirmed the statement.

“Yes, but that’ll be in at least an hour, maybe more. For now it’s just the interstate for us.” The man said, and Dave shrugged.

“Okay.” He said, and Rose smirked.

“Nice to see you joining us in the world of the living, brother.” Rose said, and Dave shrugged.

“Only halfway there, actually. Good morning, Kanaya.” He said, and She smiled.

“Good morning, Dave. It’s wonderful that we’re taking such a scenic route through California. I personally cannot wait to see the bridge in all of its glory.” She said, and John grinned.

“Me too! It’ll be cool!” He said. “I want a picture on top, for sure.” John added, and Rose couldn’t help but comment.

“So long as you’re not going under it. I’d hate to have anything tragic happen.” She said, sacasm and snark alive in her tone. Dave pulled his phone out of his pocket, and was glad he turned it off. Kanaya and John chatted quietly, while Rose maintained a conversation with John’s Dad. Dave saw a few new messages, and clicked on one.

Gallows Callibrator (GC) Began pestering Turntech Godhead (TG)

GC: H3Y COOL K1D.

GC: WH4T’S UP?

GC: BUSY M4K1NG MOV3S ON JOHN?

TG: But why would I do that

TG: When I can make the moves on you

GC: D4V3 TH4T’S L1TT3R4LLY TH3 MOST P4TH3T1C 3XCUS3 FOR 4 P1CK UP L1N3 1V3 3V3R R34D.

GC: YOUR BOY TOY PROBL3MS 4R3 R1D1CULOUS 4ND S4D, 4T B3ST.

TG: Wow, just murder me, Terezi. Splatter my fucking blood all over the ground and draw up a symbol for that bad shit you just pulled on me, like damn.

TG: But in all seriousness, not much, I just woke up

GC: 4R3 YOU GUYS 1N C4L1FORN14 Y3T?

TG: Yeah, we’re stopping in San Fransisco, in like an hour or so

GC: 4R3 YOU GO1NG ON TH3 BR1DG3?

TG: I’m pretty sure we’re supposed to

TG: Want pictures?

GC: Y3S

GC 1T’S SO G14NT 4ND R3D, HOW COULD 1 NOT

GC: JUST 3XCLUD3 4LL TH3 P1CTUR3S OF WH4T3V3R YOU’R3 PL4NN1NG W1TH JOHN

TG: Well, I’m pretty sure you’ll get all the pictures then

TG: I’m not planning anything

GC:  S3R1OUSLY?

GC: WH4T H4PP3N3D TO 4LL TH3 GR4ND SCH3M3S TO SW33P H1M OFF H1S L1TTL3 N3RDY F33T?

GC: DON’T T3LL M3 YOU F1N4LLY STOPP3D L1ST3N1NG TO K4RK4T’S 4WFUL 4DV1C3

TG: No I’m still doing all of that, no worries Terezi

TG: I just didn’t have anything planned today

GC: 1 S33, JUST T4K1NG 4 D4Y OFF FROM 4LL TH3 R3L3NTL3SSLY CH33SY STUFF?

GC: YOU KNOW K4RK4T’S G3TT1NG OFF ON THIS

TG: Don’t remind me.

TG: Jade’s doing it too, along with my older brother

TG: It’s pretty messed up.

GC: 1F YOU’R3 R34DY TO T3LL H1M NOW, WHY NOT JUST DO 1T?

TG: I told you, it’ll mean more if we do it on our bro day.

GC: 1T M34NS MOR3 ON 4 “BRO D4Y” TH4N 1N FRONT OF TH3 GOLD3N G4T3 BR1DG3?

TG: Yes.

TG: Trust me, it does.

GC: SM3LLS L1K3 4N 3XCUS3, COOLK1D.

GC: BUT WH4T3V3R.

GC: SO YOU GUYS AR3 JUST 1N TH3 C4R, FOR HOURS?

TG: Pretty much.

TG: At least I have you here to entertain me.

GC: D4V3, YOU’R3 S1TT1NG R1GHT N3XT TO ULTR4N3RD.

GC: T3LL M3 H3’S NOT 3NT3RT41N1NG 3NOUGH, R34LLY.

TG: Hey, you always call him a nerd, it’s just John.

TG: Do you like, know him?

GC: 1T’S COMPL1C4T3D

TG: How complicated

GC: H3’S MY B3ST FR13ND’S OBL1V1OUS DORK OF 4N 3X BOYFR13ND COMPL1C4T3D

TG: Are you like, mad at him for breaking up with her?

GC: NO NOT R34LLY, SH3 D3S3RV3D 1T

GC: W3 JUST N3V3R GOT 4LONG W3LL

GC: NOT L1K3 W3 GOT 4LONG B4DLY OR 4NYTH1NG

GC: 1T W4S JUST… W31RD.

GC: H3’S K1ND OF JUST… SO…

GC: LOOK,

GC: 1 4LW4YS FOUND 1T H4RD TO 3XPR3SS MY GR4TT1TUD3 TO H1M

GC: VR1SK4 4ND 1 WOULD PROB4BLY H4T3 34CHOTH3R BY NOW 1F 1T W4SN’T FOR H1M

GC: 1T W4S JUST

GC: COMPL1C4T3D.

TG: Damn sure sounds like it.

TG: he mentioned Vriska before, but I didn’t know he knew you

TG: He does always get awkward if I mention you enough though.

GC: H3H3 YOU T4LK 4BOUT M3, COOLK1D?

TG: There’s only so many redheaded blind girls I can talk to on a daily basis and be friends with without mentioning them to my other friends

GC: D4V3 HOW D4R3 YOU B3 SO 1NS3NS1T1V3

GC: 1’M COLORBL1ND NOT BL1ND

TG: Terezi I am calling complete bullshit on your insensitivity claims right now.

TG: You tell more blind jokes than the average person, and you’re probably thinking of some right now and laughing.

GC: D4NG COOLK1D, NOTH1NG 3SC4P3S YOU

GC: YOU C4N 1NV3ST1G4T3 CR1M3 SC3N3S FOR M3 OR SOM3TH1NG W1TH THOSE D3DUCT1V3 C4P4B1L1T1ES.

GC: OF COURS3 1’M K1DD1NG D4V3. 1 4CTU4LLY 4M JUST COMPL3T3LY COLORBL1ND 4ND H4VE 4WFUL 3Y3S1GHT.

GC: L1K3, YOU’V3 S33N TH3 GL4SS3S D4V3. TH3’R3 TH1CK.

GC: BUT WH3N 1 S4Y STUFF L1K3 TH4T 1’V3 S33N SOM3 P3OPL3 G3T UPS3T

GC: L1K3, R34LLY, R34LLY UPS3T 4ND Y3LL 4T M3 FOR T3LL1NG BL1ND JOK3S.

TG: Half of your speech is blind jokes.

TG: Who the fuck knows you and isn’t used to it?

GC: W3LL

GC: TH3R3’S ON3 P3RSON TH4T N3V3R GOT US3D TO 1T

TG: Please do not tell me that Egbert got really upset at you for telling a blind joke

GC: H3H3H TH3 OPPOS1T3 4CTU4LLY

GC: H3 FR34K3D OUT FOR HOURS 4ND THOUGHT 1 W4S M4D 4T H1M

GC: WH3N 1 F1N4LLY TOLD H1M 1 W4S JUST M3SS1NG W1TH H1M H3 W4S L1K3, 3MB4R4SS3D 4ND M4D 4T TH3 S4M3 T1M3

GC: BUT L1K3, 1 TH1NK W3 G41N3D SOM3 MUTU4L R3SP3CT, B3C4US3 OF HOW H4RD H3 F3LL FOR 1T 4ND H3 4LW4YS L1K3D 4 GOOD PR4NK.

GC: TH4T’S TH3 B3ST W4Y 1 C4N SUM UP HOW JOHN KNOWS 4ND PROB4BLY F33LS 4BOUT M3.

TG: Wow

TG: Complicated.

GC: NO K1DD1NG

GC: H3’S 4 N1C3 P3RSON THOUGH, YOU SHOULD GO FOR 1T.

TG: Yeah, I am.

GC: GOOD LUCK, COOLK1D

TG: Thanks, ‘Rezi.

TG: So, I’m throwing a curveball at this conversation right now.

GC: Y34H, W3 C4N’T SP3ND OUR 3NT1R3 T1M3 R4NT1NG 4BOUT ROM4NT1C 3XPLO1TS.

GC: W3’R3 NOT K4RK4T 4ND N3P3T4

TG: Or John.

TG: He has weekly “talk about your feelings” sessions with Karkat

GC: S3R1OUSLY?

TG: Yep.

GC: OH MY GOG

GC: H4H4H4 TH4T’S 4CTU4LLY TH3 B3ST TH1NG 1’VE H34RD 4LL D4Y

GC: TH4T’S SO K4RK4T, WOW

TG: Yeah I know, it’s the least “masculine” thing two guys could ever do.

GC: W33KLY? 1 COULDN’T 3V3N DO TH4T W1TH VR1SK4.

TG: They call it the Friday night feelings jam

GC: TH3Y 3V3N H4V3 4 N4M3 FOR 1T?

GC: TH4T’S

GC: TH3Y’R3 N3RD13R TH4N 1 THOUGHT

GC: BUT B3FOR3 W3 JUST COMPL3T3LY 1NV4L1D4T3 4NY P13C3 OF S3LF 4SSUR4NC3 K4RK4T TH1NKS H3 H4S

GC: WH4T W4S TH4T CONVERS4T1ON CURV3B4LL?

TG: How’s your sister?

GC: 4CTU4LLY, SH3’S DO1NG 4LR1GHT

GC: BUT SH3 S4YS H3R B4CK K33PS HURT1NG

GC: SH3 S4YS SH3’S ST1LL R4D THOUGH

TG: That’s cool, she sounds pretty badass.

GC: SH3 1S.

TG: Have you seen her recently?

GC: Y34H, W3 HUNG OUT L4ST W33K FOR TH3 F1RST T1M3 1N 4 WH1L3

GC: SH3 ST4RT3D W34R1NG BL4CK L1PST1CK

Dave frowned. He remembered seeing Latula, and her lips were black then too. That could have something to do with her new, mainly-but-not-entirely daemon thing. He thought about it, and decided he would tell Jade later.

GC: 1’M TH1NK1NG 4BOUT TRY1NG 1T.

TG: Why? Don’t you like, never wear lip stuff

TG: Or when you do it’s red.

GC: 1 TH1NK 1T WOULD LOOK COOL ON M3.

TG: Probably, most things do

TG: You should just walk around in your dragon cape

GC: P3OPL3 WOULD TH1NK 1’M COSPL4Y1NG.

TG: So?

TG: I know you may find this hard to believe

TG: But usually other people’s opinions don’t fucking matter.

TG: Like, at all.

GC: D4V3 1T’S NOT 4BOUT TH4T

GC: TH3Y B4NN3D COSPL4Y 4T OUR SCHOOL.

TG: Really

TG: You’re not making that up

GC: HA NO, CH3CK TH3 SCHOOL RUL3S

GC: TH3R3 W4S SOM3 1NC1D3NT 4 WH1L3 B4CK

TG: Wow.

GC: Y34H 1 KNOW

GC: W41T, 1 H4V3 TO GO

TG: K then, see you later

GC: 1 WOULD 1F 1 COULD

TG: Wow.

GC: H3H3H S33 YOU COOLK1D.

Gallows Calibrator (GC) Ceased pestering Turntech Godhead (TG)

___________________________-

JAFNF Chapter 102

(Sunday, April 25)

“Wait, I see it!” John said, and his father smirked.

“That’s right John, there’s the old golden gate. We can park and walk around on it, if you guys want to.” Kanaya smiled.

“That sounds lovely.” She said, and the man decided to do just that. As soon as Dave left the car he hugged himself. It was chilly in San Fransisco, and he hoped the boardwalk would be warmer. He had his cell phone equipped for pictures, and John bounced with excitement. There was a little tourist stop/ bathroom where they parked, and a few other people seemed to want to walk around as well. It said they had a restaurant on the other side where they could get coffee, and walk back. John’s dad picked up a pamphlet, and found that it had a little of the bridge’s history. He saw two people standing by a sign, and the man quickly turned to read it. Apparently, they had free walking tours, and even more conveniently, the next one would leave in a few minutes.

“Jacob, what’s the deal? You coming?” Roxy asked, and he shook his head.

“Actually, they have a walking tour in a few minutes! Do you guys want to take it?” He asked, and Roxy grinned.

“Sounds cool! Guys, go stand by that sign, we’re taking a walking tour!” The four teenagers eagerly complied, and all had devices ready for picture taking. Eventually, their tour guide came, and they went off to start walking. The tour went about as expected. Rose paid attention to the tour, and Kanaya did the same. Roxy and Dave stood a little in the back, making crude jokes at intervals and snickering. John’s Dad took the entire tour on video, and John snapped pictures of everything. Once they stopped to take pictures of the view, and Dave pulled out his phone. He shivered at the morning air, but it didn’t stop him from taking images of the fog over the water. He felt bad about leaving his better camera in his suitcase, but these phone photos would have to do.

Once, he noticed John leaning on the side of the bride, taking a gander of the view. He discretely took a photo, and smirked. In an instant he wanted to take a few more, but between the John pictures, he captured everyone else. Dave took a few more pictures of the view, then one or two of the red bridge before Roxy called everyone together for a group selfie. Eventually they walked to the other end of the bridge, where they took a few more images of the grand structure. He decided he would send them to Terezi later, and followed John’s dad to a nearby restaurant.

John took a seat across from Dave, and the six talked mildly about the tour. All of them thanked John’s dad when their food arrived, and they dug into their separate plates. After a little eating without much conversation, they finished, and prepared to walk back across with full stomachs. The six members of the party all used the bathroom before leaving, because once they were done, they planned to get on the road again.

“Wait, Dave! We should take a picture, in front of the bridge!” John suggested, and Dave shrugged.

“Sure, Egbert.” Dave found a good position, and first Dave took their picture, then Roxy. John gave Dave bunny ears in the photo, and Dave kept his sunglasses on the entire time. Roxy insisted that she and Jacob did the same thing, and Dave easily took pictures for them. Convinced that they were next, Rose and Kanaya did the same. Kanaya pressed  a kiss into Rose’s cheek, causing her practiced smile to fall off her face, and be replaced by a sort of awed delight. Roxy took the picture with a suggestive expression on her face, while Rose actually beamed at her girlfriend. Dave made a ‘gagging’ motion at John, who giggled. Those two really were cute enough to make someone throw up, but John was happy for them regardless.

They returned to the car, more excited than ever to get on with their trip, and Dave sent his pictures to Terezi, excluding the ones he took of John. The group continued on the road, and was more than ready to finally start their vacation.

It was around four in the afternoon when they arrived at the hotel. Dave took his luggage, and John’s father handled the rooms. After a little talking, he handed out the room keys, and both Dave and Kanaya thanked the man.  John and Rose thanked him as well, and they all went to their rooms. John and Dave shared one, while Rose and Kanaya shared another. Their parents bordered that room, and both promised to be appropriate. John giggled at the slight blush on Kanaya’s pale cheeks, and elbowed Dave. The blonde only smirked in response, and they started unpacking their luggage.

In seconds, John picked a bed, and Dave flopped on the other one. Dave seemed content to lay on the bed for a few seconds, before he shot upwards in his place.

“John. I forgot to pack something.” Dave said, and John looked surprised.

“Oh, really? What? I brought an extra toothbrush.”

“No, I didn’t pack apple juice.” He said, and the vampire sounded horrified. John blinked, then his mouth twitched.

“Seriously?” Dave pulled his sunglasses up, and gave John a glare.

“I’ve never been more serious about anything in my life. I had an entire bag of apple juice, and I didn’t bring it, John.” John had to cover his hand with his mouth, in an obvious attempt to keep himself from smiling.

“Well, we could probably get some tomorrow, if you’re that desperate.” Dave folded his hands.

“That’s still hours without the juice.”

“Don’t worry about it, it’s probably piss anyway.” John said jokingly, and Dave’s eyes widened.

“John, no! Why would you do this, I thought we were friends!” He said, and John laughed.

“Because it was funnier in person than doing it over text when we were thirteen.” Dave rolled his eyes, but he was a little touched that his friend remembered their conversations that far back. “Anyway, if you’re not drinking any apple juice, can I see the pictures you took?” John asked, and Dave shrugged.

“Yeah, sure. I just sent them all to Terezi. Minus the ones of us, of course.” He said, and John raised an eyebrow, but didn’t comment.

“Hm. Okay.” Dave unlocked his phone and handed it to John, who promptly did the same so Dave could see the ones he took. John looked through a few. “Wow, these are really good!” Dave’s ego puffed up a little at the praise.

“Thanks, Egbert. Yours are awful.” He said, and John grinned at him.

“Shut up.” Dave smirked and flipped through a few more pictures. John remembered the other pictures they’d taken, and decided to check Dave’s camera roll for the two he didn’t see, of him. What he found when he flipped through was a little more than he expected. He saw the two ‘selfies’ they took, but they were surrounded in a sea of pictures of other people on the golden gate bridge. As John flipped through, he would find random pictures of him, and then one of someone else.

At first, he didn’t notice anything, but as he flipped through more, he noticed a pattern. Dave apparently took two of him, then one of someone else, and went back to taking two more of John. The boy felt his cheeks heat up when he realized his friend was taking pictures of him, and even disguising them with pictures of other people without him knowing. It probably wouldn’t have been as awkward if he hadn’t done it in a pattern, like he was deliberately trying to hide it. John hastily put down Dave’s phone.

“Uh, here you go.” John said, and if Dave noticed the change in demeanor, he didn’t say anything.

“Thanks. Do you know if Terezi responded?” Dave asked, and John shook his head.

“No, I didn’t check. Here, I can.”

“Nah, it’s okay, the phone’s already in my hand anyway.” Dave picked up the device, and since it was unlocked, went to press the home button. Before pressing it though, he noticed what was up on the screen, and realized he was looking at one of his images of John. “Oh, you… looked at the camera roll.” Dave said, and his vampire senses told him that heat rushed to the boy’s cheeks.

“Um, yeah. I did.” John said, and Dave wished he hadn’t taken his sunglasses on. “The pictures were really nice?” John said, and Dave felt blood vessles erupt on his face.

“Thanks.”

“Yeah. Especially the… um, pictures of me?” Dave sighed. His jig was up, and fuck, because John would probably know about how he felt by the time they finished talking. “And everyone else.” Dave had to figure out something to say. John was going to want an explanation, and ‘I’m in love with you, also I have this secret hobby no one knows about called photography so I took a ton of pictures of you’ wasn’t going to work.

“You have uh, aesthetic.” Dave said, and John blinked. “Actually, Kanaya does too, and Rose.” Dave said, and John blinked.

“Oh really? You too, Dave.” John said, hoping it covered for the fact that he didn’t exactly know what the word meant. Still, if both Kanaya and Rose had it, it was most likely something positive- or queer.

“Thanks. I kind of have a thing for photography, but I had my camera in my suitcase, so I couldn’t take better pictures.” Dave said, and John raised his eyebrows. Dave hadn’t told him this yet.

“Wow, I had no idea you were into photography, that’s cool.” John said, and Dave looked surprised.

“You think so?” He asked, and John nodded.

“Yeah. I mean, it was unexpected, but it’s actually really cool. Is it like, a hobby? Or, a dream, or something?” John asked, and Dave nodded.

“It’s more of a hobby. But, I like taking pictures. A lot.” John was a little surprised. He apparently still had some learning to do with his best friend.

“Can I see them sometime?” Dave honestly felt embarrassed. Only one other person knew about his more secretive hobby, and she discovered it on accident. Really, he wasn’t sure how he managed to hide a dark room from his brother in his house, but the fact that even the older Strider didn’t know made this all the more personal. This was the first person he’d ever shared it with willingly, even if they weren’t in the place to show off his stuff. In a way, it was a lot like Rose’s wizard fiction, but if she could share it with Kanaya, he could share this with John.

“Yeah. I have most of the pictures at my house, but yeah. Sorry for photographing you guys without, uh, asking.” Dave said, and John gave Dave a reassuring, but nerdy grin. He could tell his friend was nervous about sharing, but didn’t want to discourage him from sharing.

“Are you kidding? I’m like, a model now. This is awesome, don’t apologize.” John said, and Dave’s usual smirk came back.

“Sure, John Egbert, model extraordinaire. That’s definitely, totally you.” Dave said, and John smirked.

“Well, it’s not you. Good thing you’re not into taking pictures of yourself.” John said teasingly, and Dave’s smirk only broadened.

“You’re right, wouldn’t want all the ladies swooning too hard. May cause traffic accidents if this face got all over the world, you know?” He said, and John gave him a sly look.

“The only tragic accident would be people going blind, Dave.”

“Hey, I know one person who did. Took one look at my face and that was the last thing she wanted to see, forever.” Dave said, and John’s smile dropped.

“Who, Terezi?” He asked, and Dave smirked.

“Makes sense, right?” John rolled his eyes.

“First, no it doesn’t, and second she’s not completely blind. Did she tell you she’s completely blind? She’s done that before.” John said, and Dave raised an eyebrow.

“That’s right, I forgot you knew Terezi. No, I know she’s only colorblind, but when did she do that?” Dave asked, preparing for an amusing story. Unfortunately, John sighed.

“It was a long time ago, it’s not a big deal.” The vampire realized that his friend seemed a little upset, and raised his eyebrows.

“You okay Egbert? You must hate Terezi or something, huh?” he said, and John’s eyes widened.

“Hate her? No, of course not. She’s a good friend and always tries to do the right thing, I don’t hate her.” John said, and Dave looked at him.

“Then what’s with the whole ‘I’m fine until someone brings up Terezi’ thing?” Dave asked, and John sighed.

“It’s complicated.” Dave wanted to snort- it was exactly what Terezi said. “I mean, she’s not a bad person or anything. She can just be… aggravating.” Dave looked at him, surprised. Then again, not really.

“Really? How so?”

“Okay, like this one time. She was third wheeling Vriska and I on a technically-not-a-date because I didn’t ask her formally, but we were walking around the Avenue. Anyway, we went to get food, and she sat down next to me, instead of sitting with Vriska. Anyway, we were talking, and apparently some kid tripped over her bag and was crying. The kid’s mom told her that she shouldn’t leave her stuff out in the asile. Instead of letting it go or apologizing or whatever, she said she was blind and offended, and made the lady feel awful.” Dave smirked.

“That sounds like exactly the type of thing she’d do. Was the lady rude?” John shrugged.

“She was moderately impolite, but her child was crying in public. Terezi just plays mind games sometimes, and I guess it’s annoying? But I also know she’s like, a good friend too, just not like, a friend of mine.” John said, and Dave gave him a look.

“But you don’t hate her.”

“No, I think it would be pretty hard for me to hate someone, like, for real. I think I did hate Caliborn though, he was a jerk.” John said, and Dave nodded.

“Word, Egbert, he was a cherub pile of suck. But would you feel closer to negatively for her? I mean, does everything she does just piss you off?” Dave asked, and John shrugged.

“I don’t really know about that. I mean, she’s always trying to do the right thing, and always seems on top of stuff. But, she’s just kind of weird and insane at the same time, and she always has these japes at totally inappropriate times. It was weird, but she’s cool I guess, and kind of a badass since she smells colors. I can never tell when she’s joking though, so it’s always weird around her. It’s frustrating, but I can see why you’d like her.” John said honestly, and Dave nodded.

“Yeah I like her, she’s a cool person. I like her, but it’s okay if you don’t.” John frowned.

“It’s not like I dislike her, but…” John sighed. “It’s complicated.” He said finally, and Dave nodded.

“Okay. Sure sounds like it, Egdork.” John smiled at the nickname, and grinned more.

“So, you liiike her?” He asked, his voice teasing, and Dave rolled his eyes.

“Whatever.”

“I’m not hearing a no.” John said, and Dave smirked.

“You’re not hearing a yes either.” He responded, and John sighed.

“Come on Dave, just admit you’re into her. I always see you two together, and you hang out outside of school.”

“You hang out with Karkat outside of school.” Dave responded, and John gave him a look.

“That’s different.” Dave raised a casual eyebrow.

“How? You two both bond over things you don’t do with me, Terezi and I hang out, and do things I don’t do with you.” Dave said, his arms moving in a half shrug. “It’s really not that different.” John smirked.

“I’m pretty sure you guys don’t do what Karkat and I do.” And it was true. The second John tried to picture Dave belting song duets at two in the morning in all of their off key glory, a laugh came out of his mouth. Trying to picture Dave having weekly heart to heart sessions, or watching old movies, or trying dumb internet challenges- actually, they probably could do that last one. But between theories about kids shows or debating the fundamentals of romance, along with the recordings of broadway musicals and dollar-store-movie nights, he definitely couldn’t picture the blonde cool kid ever trying it. Dave seemed to die a little inside every time someone (John) mentioned Con Air. “And I am not a homosexual!”

“Okay, and you don’t do what Terezi and I do.” Dave said, and John looked at him.

“What do you guys do?” Dave shrugged.

“Average stuff. We do videogames, internet pranks, making stupid videos. You know.” He said, and John looked surprised.

“Huh. I guess I should expect that from someone who’s into photography. But I don’t know about having my face recorded too often, that doesn’t sound fun.” John said, and Dave chuckled.

“And now you understand why I don’t do that with you. It’s not any prelude to dating, it’s just sharing interests.” Dave said, and John nodded. He understood. Their conversation tapered off from there, and after a while, Dave moved to their bathroom to take an evening shower. John glanced around the room in boredom, and his eyes landed on Dave’s things. After he saw what he expected- headphones, clothing and ecetera, John saw a notebook at the corner of his things. John looked at it, puzzled. Even John hadn’t brought any study materials over the break. He looked over at it curiously, and inched over to it.

As he got closer, John wondered what was inside. It was most likely study materials anyway. Still, just having one notebook was weird. He bent to pick it up, and froze. He was about to snoop through Dave’s stuff. After all, it wasn’t all right to just go through other people’s things without permission. John backed away from it, and went back to his phone.

…. For about three seconds, before his eyes landed on Dave’s bag again. Questions began to gnaw at his mind. What could have been in there? John looked over at the notebook again. It was a red composition, and it looked like a normal school book. But why would Dave bring one, to the beach? The fact alone made no sense, and John looked at it curiously yet again. His eyes turned up to the shower door. Dave could come out at any second. John huffed and went back to his phone.

He lasted a little longer that time around. Then, the questions arose again. He repeated the cycle of looking back between his phone, the door, and the bag for approximately twenty minutes before groaning in frustration. John stood. It probably wasn’t even anything important. The boy went against his morals (and better judgment), walked back over to the bag. Dave was still in the shower. When John bent over and looked at the notebook, he carefully removed it from its spot in Dave’s bag.

The center of the notebook’s red area only had one thing written on it. It was a word- redglare, with no spaces. John stared at it, confused, before reaching to open the notebook. The first page seemed to contain some sort of running list. He thumbed through the pages. The first thing on the list made no sense either.

“I’m Just your Problem?” John asked himself. A doodle on the side, or near the top, contained a pencil-and white image of a pair of eyes. They seemed to be covered by glasses, of some sort, but they were still visible. John reached to flip to another when he heard Dave’s shower water turn off. His heart stopped, and dread set in. What had he just done? With a fluid motion, he placed the item as he found it back in his backpack, and dashed back over to his bed. He felt terrible- why had he decided to do it? It didn’t help his curiocity at all. It just made him feel guilty. John looked back guiltily. It hadn’t even made sense. Dave walked out a few minutes later, and John turned the room’s TV on in an attempt to look busy.

Dave came out in a sweatshirt, and casually slid next to John. He grabbed the remote and rudely changed the channel. John squeaked. He had kind of been getting into that movie.

“Dave!” He called, and Dave gave him a sideways glance out of the corner of his sunglasses. If the blonde had known he was going through his stuff, Dave certainly didn’t show it. “I was getting into that!” He said defiantly, and Dave frowned.

“Dude, if you were watching a movie, we both know its going to be shitty. Can’t I just turn it on some kid’s channel that no one’s ever heard of?” He asked, and John huffed.

“I was here first. And it’s not bad! Give back the remote!”

“You say that, but you kiss your picture of Liv Tyler.” John glared, heat entering his cheeks. That was an admittedly embarrassing thing to do- but still, he couldn’t take the remote from him!

“That- That has nothing to do with anything! Dave, if you don’t give it to me now, I will take it.” Dave scoffed.

“Please, you can try Egbert, but I hardly think you’d be able to.” John smirked, prepared for battle.

“Fine, have it the hard way!” John lunged towards him, but Dave was ready. He sprang out of the bed, and John was quick to roll off and do the same. Dave ran to the other side of the room, and they slowly made moves towards each other. Dave put the remote in his sweatshirt pocket, and John travelled towards him. At one point, Dave was so focused on John that he tripped over the corner of the bed, and John took it as his moment to strike. He pushed his friend back against the comfortable item in seconds, and moved his hands to the pocket of his sweatshirt. Beating John out of the way wasn’t an option, so Dave pulled a hand up and placed it against John’s neck. He wiggled his fingers, and John’s motions froze as he started laughing.

“Ah, Dave! No- ha- no fair!” He said between laughs, and Dave smirked. He easily removed John from atop him in the compromised position, and the taller of the two smirked.

“I’m not stopping until you promise not to take the remote.” John made a feeble attempt to tickle back, but Dave wasn’t ticklish, and it had little effect. John laughed, and a tear welled up in the corner of his eye.

“Hah, never!- Hah ha!” John tried, and Dave raised an eyebrow in a playful take on sadism.

“Oh, really? Well, looks like my fingers aren’t getting a break any time soon.” He said, and John laughed more, but it was starting to hurt a little. John desperately grabbed at Dave’s sweatshirt near the top, and the action alone made his fingers go still. He recoiled, and John took desperate breaths for air. A tone of fear entered his voice, and he realized that tickling still included torturous minutes of half breathing, at best.  “John? Are you okay?” He asked.

“I’m okay.” He confirmed, though he coughed a little after doing so. Dave’s shoulders dropped in relief. That was, until John’s grin stretched across his face. “And I’m even more okay now that I have this.” John said, holding the device. Dave sputtered.

“How did you get that? It was in my pocket the whole time!” He said, feeling the now empty front pocket. John smirked.

“Magician’s mystery! What can I say, I’m good at making stuff disappear.” He said with a grin, and Dave rolled his eyes, then sank against the bed.

“At least tell me which one you’re watching.” Dave said, and John made a decision.

“None. I mean, I don’t have to see it, if you don’t want me to.” John said, and the way Dave’s eyebrows lifted in surprise made it more worth it than ever. “It’s probably not that good anyway.” He said. He honestly still felt bad about looking in Dave’s stuff. Even if it made no sense, he shouldn’t have done it. Dave looked at him, surprised and unconvinced.

“Okay, if you’re so uninterested, why were you trying so hard to get it?” He asked, and John hopped off his bed and went on to Dave’s in one motion.

“I wanted to do something you’d actually have fun doing while we hung out. Your interests matter.” John said, and Dave looked surprised, but the answer made him smile.

“Hey, as long as we’re hanging out, I’m sure that’s interesting enough. We can watch whatever moive this is.” Dave turned back to the movie on screen, and John grinned, then looked back. His head slowly began to rest on Dave’s shoulder, and Dave smiled at the boy fondly.

“Thanks, Dave.” John said quietly, and Dave looped an arm around him. He felt pretty pleased with himself when John scooted closer in the embrace. “Best friends forever, right?”  John asked, and Dave resisted the urge to shudder. If that wasn’t the friend zoning-est friend zone phrase he’d ever heard- Dave did the mental equivalent of shaking his head. He could worry about it later.

“Yeah, we are. Thanks, John.” He said again, and John only gave his friend a reassuring smile before looking down at the movie again. They had a long, fun vacation ahead of them, and even with John’s almost painful obliviousness, Dave intended to enjoy it.

_____________--------------

AN: Hey! Day 1, done! Also that redglare thing could have no probable importance later, oh no.

JAFNF Chapter 103

(Sunday, April 25)

Karkat groaned. It was Sunday evening, which meant Jade would be over for dinner within the hour. He kind of wanted to text John, but he was on vacation, and he didn’t want to make him think about his girlfriend problems. John deserved a break from his emotional bullshit just as much as Karkat deserved a break from John’s. When he heard the two friends were going off on vacation, Karkat knew he’d act as a soundboard for whatever Strider tried to pull on John. And he was more than happy to just let things happen over the course of that week, then repair any damage when they got back.

He walked downstairs and saw his mom making the sauce. Sauce was an important part of this ‘meet each other’s parents within the first month of dating’ tradition his family had. Everyone had to see if she was sauce worthy. If she was worthy of eating his mom’s marinara sauce, she was generally deemed worthy as a date. Terezi was sauce worthy. She made comments on how wonderful it was that the food was red, despite being colorblind, and her mother liked the redhead ever since.

Still, Jade wasn’t Terezi, a fact that Karkat was happy about. Karkat’s mom noticed him, and she smiled at him.

“Oh Karkat, you look lovely.” The woman said, and he looked at her.

“Thanks. I hate that you’re making me do this.” He said, and she laughed.

“I said the same thing to my mom. You’ll thank me for it later, dear. Until then, could you set the table?” She asked him, and Karkat went off to do it. He made sure four areas were set up, and after a stir, his mom looked over the table.  “Oh, be sure to add one for Jade.” She said, and Karkat blinked.

“I did. There’s four.” He said, and the woman frowned, before slapping her forehead.

“Oh, I didn’t tell you! Kankri’s dropping by as well tonight!” Karkat turned around in horror.

“What? He said he couldn’t come, fuck!” Karkat said, and the woman let it slide.

“He said his schedule cleared up.” The one with the aforementioned clear schedule walked in, as if he were on cue. He smiled down at his younger brother, and mother.

“Yes, hello Mother. Karkat, I wouldn’t miss today for the world.” Kankri said, and Karkat looked up at him in surprise.

“Are you fucking serious? Shit, why didn’t you fucking tell me you douchebag?” Karkat asked, and Kankri sighed.

“First, I’m surprised you’re starting this evening without tagging your triggers, Karkat. It would be in your best interest to be more agreeable. I sincerely hope miss Harley tags her triggers, for the sake of a lovely evening. In fact Karkat, I believe you could use a lesson in tagging your triggers as well. For example-” Karkat pushed past him.

“Nope! I can’t deal with this right now, no, no no.” He said, and made a dash for the steps. He had to get to John, fuck the whole sentiment of being on vacation from your feelings. He hoped timezones were the same in California, and that John wasn’t busy.

Carcino Geneticist (CG) Began pestering Ecto Biologist (EB)

CG: FUCK

CG: JOHN IF YOU ARE THERE RIGHT NOW I SWEAR TO FUCK THAT THIS ISN’T THE GOGDAMN TIME TO FUCK AROUND

CG: JOHN THE IRONS ARE IN THE FIRE, THE PLANS HAVE GONE HAYWIRE, I’M COMPLETELY, ENTIRELY FUCKED

EB: Woah woah, hi Karkat!

EB: Where’s the fire

EB: Or… the irons?

EB: Haha, that expression made like, no sense together.

EB: Come to think of it, didn’t Vriska say that a lot?

EB: What did that even mean?

EB: Oh wait, yeah, where’s the fire again?

CG: THE FIRE IS THAT MY BROTHER IS GOING TO BE THERE WHILE JADE IS GOING TO BE SITTING IN MY HOUSE PASSING THE FUCKING ANCIENT SAUCE TEST OR SOME SHIT AND I DID NOT PLAN FOR THIS AT ALL.

EB: Okay I’m

EB: Just going to respond to the parts that make sense out of what you just said.

EB: It sounds like your brother is an unexpected visitor, for when Jade arrives?

CG: YES EGBERT, CONGRATULATIONS MASTER SLEUTH, YOU’VE DEDUCTED THE BASIC MEANING FROM MY PANIC RIDDEN SPEECH. WOULD YOU LIKE AN AWARD? YOU CAN HAVE A PULITZER OR GRAMMY, TAKE YOUR PICK.

EB: Hey, don’t be nervous Karkat.

CG: YOU DON’T UNDERSTAND, MY PARENTS ARE BAD ENOUGH

CG: MY OLDER SIBLING IS AN ENTIRE OTHER FUCKING MINEFIELD OF DECEPTIVE INSULTS HIDDEN UNDER THE GUISE OF TAGGING TRIGGERS, AND LONG SPEECHES THAT JADE PROBABLY WON’T BE ABLE TO DECIPHER, BECAUSE I SURE AS HELL DON’T WANT TO.

CG: KANKRI VANTAS IS AN ASSHOLE THAT ANYONE WOULD NEED AT LEAST A MONTH TO PREPARE FOR, IF NOT MORE.

EB: Okay I get it, you’re not on the best terms with your brother.

EB: But don’t worry! This is Jade we’re talking about, she’s on good terms with everyone.

EB: Except you, but that’s a little different.

CG: SHE’S NOT ON GOOD TERMS WITH CALIBORN

EB: Okay, but he’s a suspender wearing jerk.

CG: MY BROTHER IS A SWEATER WEARING JERK!

EB: He wasn’t that bad when I met him.

CG: YOU DIDN’T GET TO THE HEART OF HIS SOCIAL JUSTICE RANTS, OKAY? *YOU* DON’T GET HOW MUCH SHIT CAN HIT THE FAN IF HE’S THERE.

EB: Karkat.

EB: Don’t worry about it.

EB: Whatever happens is going to happen.

EB: If your older brother is a huge jerk, Jade will deal with it.

EB: Have a little confidence in her, okay?

CG: IT’S NOT ABOUT THAT, JOHN.

EB: It sure sounds like it.

EB: From what you’ve said, you doubt her basic ability to handle herself in a conversation.

EB: You seem to doubt that she can effectively or politely deal with jerks

EB: Or even know when not to draw a conversation into controversial topics

EB: Even when she’s easily done both, a multitude of times.

EB: From here, it just sounds like you’re doubting her.

EB: Even worse, you’re basically saying she can’t do something Terezi could.

EB: Is that true?

CG:…

CG: NO.

CG: YOU’RE RIGHT, JOHN.

CG: SHE CAN HANDLE HERSELF.

CG: THIS IS JADE WE’RE TALKING ABOUT.

CG: IF ANYONE WILL BE OKAY, IT’S HER.

CG: THANKS, I NEEDED THAT.

EB: Sure Karkat, it’s what I’m here for.

EB: Have a good time with your ancient sauce traditions.

CG: I’LL TRY.

CG: KANKRI’S GOING TO BE SO AGGRAVATING THOUGH

EB: You’ve dealt with it for sixteen years.

EB: I think you can handle one more day of your older brother.

CG: YES, I PROBABLY CAN.

CG: FUCK, THANKS JOHN.

EB: No problem Kitkat.

CG: I’M STILL IGNORING THAT.

CG: HOW’S YOUR VACATION GOING?

EB: Good, we walked across the golden gate bridge!

EB: Hold on, here’s a picture.

Karkat opened the file, and raised his eyebrows. The view looked nice, and he commented on it.

CG: THAT LOOKS PRETTY COOL, EGBERT.

EB: Dave was cold the entire time though.

EB: But we had fun!

EB: He keeps complaining about apple juice.

CG: WHO, DAVE?

EB: Yes.

EB: We’re sharing a room!

CG: REALLY?

CG: SO, WHAT ARE YOU GUYS GOING TO DO?

EB: There’s a boardwalk, and a beach!

EB: And I’m sure we’ll find something else to do after that.

CG: SOUNDS FUN.

CG: OH I HAVE TO GO EGBERT

CG: SHE’S HERE.

CG: SON OF A FUCKING DICKBAG SHE’S HERE.

EB: Ha okay.

EB: Good luck!!

EB: Breeeathe kitkat.

EB: And relax, Jade will be fine.

CG: THANKS JOHN

CG: BYE.

Carcino Geneticist (CG) ceaaed pestering Ecto Biologist (EB).

Karkat walked down the stairs from his room, and saw his father rush towards the door. Jade presumably stood on the other side, and Karkat walked over curiously. Instead of stopping at the door, his father walked outside, and Karkat saw Mr. English’s car. He walked over to his father and teacher, then looked at the two in surprise. Jake shook his dad’s hand, and noticed Karkat.

“Oh, hello Karkat! How has your break been?” Karkat felt his throat close, but took a deep breath.

“It’s been good Mr. English, what about you?” He asked, and Jake smiled at him.

“That’s lovely to hear. My break’s been very relaxing, but we’re all busy preparing for finals, right?” He asked with a wink, and Karkat swore his heart stopped.

“I… yes. Yes, I am also preparing for finals.” Karkat said, and Jade waved from the window, then started to get out of the car. Karkat ran over to open the door for her, and she smiled at him.

“Karkat, thank you! You look nice today.” She said, and that was when she stepped out of the car. She wore a light green sundress that screamed spring, and Karkat suddenly remembered that she rocked the color green.

“You look fantastic.” He said, and blinked. “I mean, thank you!” He practically shouted, and his ears turned red in embarrassment. Karkat’s dad snorted, but Jade smiled at him. She gracefully ignored the awkwardness, and responded.

“Thanks, Karkat. Oh, and you must be Karkat’s father. Hello, Sir.” She said, putting her hand out for a shake.

“Oh, it’s a pleasure to meet you. Really, no need to be so formal, you can just call me Mr. V.” He grabbed her hand in his, and was pleasantly surprised at the firmness of her handshake. Jade turned to Jake.

“I’ll see you at eight, right?” She asked, and he nodded.

“I’ll be there. Have a good evening, Jade.” He said, and she quickly grabbed the man in a hug. He was quick to respond, and she let go after a second.

“See you later, uncle Jake!” She said cheerfully, and he shot a finger gun at her. She did the same, feeling a little embarrassed, and he climbed back in the car. The man drove off, and Karkat escorted her inside, after his dad walked in.

“Also, sorry for not warning you, but Kankri’s here.” Karkat whispered, and before Jade could respond, Karkat’s mother ran up to her in an apron. “Hi mo-”

“Karkat, you didn’t tell me she was so pretty! Wow, what a cutie!” She said, and turned to Jade. “Oh wait, where are my manors. I’m Karkat’s mom, it’s fantastic to meet you sweetheart.” She added, and Jade adjusted her glasses.

“It’s great to meet you too! I’m Jade, Karkat’s said a lot about you.” She responded, and put her hand out for a handshake.

“Oh, I’m afraid I’m more of a hugger, dear.” She said, and if Jade was surprised, she didn’t show it. Instead, she opened her arms wide, and Karkat’s mother grabbed her. A giggle erupted from her mouth when the woman squeezed her, and the woman seemed delighted to have Jade in her arms. Jade realized the action felt familiar, but couldn’t put her finger on it. When the woman let go she smiled brightly, and Jade followed her to the table.

“Miss Harley, it’s nice to meet you.” Kankri said, and Jade gave him a smile.

“You’re Kankri! It’s nice to meet you in person too!” She said, and shook his hand. She turned to Karkat’s mom. “Thank you all so much for inviting me over for dinner. If there’s anything I can help with, please tell me.” She said, and Karkat’s mom spoke up.

“Actually, Karkat never set up Kankri’s place at the table.” Karkat’s eyes widened, and he ran in the kitchen.

“Oh, right, sorry. Fu-dge. Fudge is a food. Sorry, mom.” He said, and quickly put out his brother’s stuff. Karkat’s dad was off doing something, and Kankri started talking to Jade.

“So, do you usually tag your triggers?” He asked, and Jade blinked.

“What’s tagging my triggers?” She asked, and he noticed that Karkat was still in the kitchen, and smiled.

“Oh, it’s simply the process of making others aware of the probable content of your next words, then proceeding to warn them about it beforehand in case they’re upset by it. In effect, it mainly serves as a way to stop others from being triggered. Do you know what triggering is?” He asked, and she shook her head.

“I can’t say I do.”

“Well, the process of being triggered is a fascinating one, but it always results in a negative emotion or action from the triggered person. Trigger warning, abuse. For example, if a person were to reference child abuse, it may trigger someone that’s gone through the same thing. By making jokes at certain experiences, it may actually cause the person to remember, and feel all the horrid emotions that came with their abuse from their early childhood. It may spawn crying, violence, or just general sadness in the triggered person. So, by tagging triggers before talking about them, it gives people an opportunity to stop a potentially dangerous conversation, or inconsiderate joke, before it takes place. Really, the process is more about common courtesy than anything, and it is one I try to employ as often as possible. In addition, it’s also possible for someone that’s highly susceptible to being triggered by certain topics to tag their triggers beforehand, so people know what not to mention in daily conversation. Again, it’s more of a method of maintaining common courtesy, so that those that are easily triggered, or used to talking and or making light of more triggering situations can stop before they’re implanted in a conversation. Usually, my method of asking others to tag their triggers before I start conversing, then tagging the topics that I plan to mention works well, and it offers an understanding between multiple people so that upsetting, or , triggering topics remain undiscussed. If you have any questions on the matter, feel free to ask me.” Jade blinked, trying to think over what he just said in her head again.

“Um, yes! Actually, why do you call it ‘tagging’ your triggers?” She asked, and he seemed surprised that she listened to his spiel.

“Well, the practice generally originates and is used on tumblr, where users have the option to specify what they’re talking about in hashtags. The system is generally used to sort and differentiate content, but often, people use it to explain what triggers their posts may contain. In fact, after the ability to block certain hashtags, like child abuse arose, the tagging trigger system reached its utmost importance. Obviously, in real life we can only mention what we’ll be talking about before saying it, in case the person is susceptible to being triggered by it. Would you like to try?” Jade put a hand on her arm uncomfortably.

“Actually, usually my words don’t really contain anything triggering.” Jade said, and blinked. “Do yours?” She added, making her voice unbearably innocent. Kankri felt his cheeks flush, and Karkat, who’d been listening to their conversation from afar, looked pleased. Jade made his brother speechless for a second, and it was enough to make Karkat want to high five her. Of course he didn’t, yet, but he would later.

“I- well,” Kankri started, and frowned. “I suppose they do, sometimes. I try to keep up to date with changes in controversial topics but.. yes.” he said, like it was an afterthought. Jade shrugged.

“I mean, when I do plan to talk about something triggering, I’m sure I will make sure everyone in the area’s okay with it, but usually I just don’t bring anything triggering up.” She said, and Kankri put a hand on his chin.

“Hm.” Was all Kankri said, and Karkat walked in and put his stuff down. Even Karkat’s dad, who overheard Kankri’s trigger speech, seemed surprised by her delicate ending of his conversation. She’d manadged to run away from Kankri without being torn away or dumbfounded, and the action wasn’t one Kanrki was used to, at all. They moved to the table, and after a quick prayer headed by father Vantas, they ate.

“We’re having pasta tonight!” Karkat’s mom said, and Jade’s eyebrows lifted in surprise.

“Oh, pasta? Cool, I’ve never had that before!” she said, and the Vantas family paused.

“Really?” His mom finally said, and Jade nodded.

“Yes. Thank you for serving it.” She said, and turned to Karkat. “Oh, and thanks for setting the table, it looks nice.” Karkat’s father spoke up.

“Yes, thank you Karkat.” Karkat rolled his eyes at the praise, but responded politely anyway.

“You’re welcome, it’s no big deal.” He said, and after serving everyone, Karkat’s mom spoke up.

“Dear, I still can’t believe you’ve never tried pasta! Where did you grow up?” she asked, and Jade smiled.

“On an island off the pacific with my grandfather. We usually just ate fruit and meat, but I’m pretty sure we baked a few times.” She said, and Karat’s dad looked on with interest.

“Wow, how interesting. Oh, how does the pasta taste?” He asked, and Jade tried some. The sauce was super meaty, along with meatballs, and just the right amount of seasonings to feel fresh, like the food she was used to. Jade grabbed some with her  fork and put it in her mouth as quickly as possible, then chewed. It tasted fantastic actually, and she looked down at the plate with surprise and appreciation for the new dish.

“It’s… wow. It’s really good, thank you!” Jade said ecstatically, and Karkat’s mom grinned with pride. She could tell that the compliment was more than genuine, and Jade seemed to show genuine appreciation for her cooking. Kankri said something for the first time since he’d talked to Jade earlier.

“Yes mother, it’s wonderful as always.” He said, and she grinned.

“Thanks you two. So, Jade, how did you meet Karkat?” She asked, and Jade had to avoid sending a glance Karkat’s way.

“Well, our mutual friend, Dave, gave him my pesterchum online, and after that, I bumped into him in a hallway without knowing it was him. Then Dave introduced us in person, and we became friends after that.” Jade said, and father Vantas’s eyebrows lifted.

“Oh, Dave Strider? He’s the blonde one, right Karkat?” He asked, and Karkat responded.

“That’s him.” He said, after eating a bite of food. Conversation ebbed and flowed as the night went on, and after a while, everyone finished eating. Her parents asked some pretty basic questions, and she responded.

“So, what are you into, Jade?” Karkat’s Dad asked. “As in hobbies.” Jade brightened.

“Well, I like gardening a lot, and doing stuff in my labs. I play around with chemistry a lot, even though I’m more into biology.” She said, and they looked at her in surprise.

“You have laboratories? Plural?” Father Vantas asked, and she nodded.

“Yep! Grandpa’s old one was pretty much given to me once he died, since I was his only living close family. He didn’t really like hanging around people, so we just lived on his island for a while.” Jade said, and Karkat’s mother looked impressed.

“What about your parents?” She asked, and Jade shrugged.

“I think Grandpa was technically my dad, through some insane legal claims and genetics, and I never knew my mom. She died when I was too young to actually remember her. Grandpa said there was some huge controversy over custody , but I never knew anything about that.” She said, and smiled. “Then Grandpa adopted me, and we were pretty good after that.” She added, and Father Vantas  frowned.

“Wow, I’m sorry Jade.” He said, and she shrugged.

“It’s okay, I was always okay without the whole nuclear family thing. But now I live with Uncle Jake, so I get to see so many people.”

“How is it?” Karkat’s mom asked, and she smiled.

“It was a little overwhelming at first, but I think I’m getting used to it. I like it here.” She added, and his mom smiled.

“That’s good to hear. Kankri, if you could take the plates?” She asked, and the college student immediately complied. She turned to Jade. “So, why do you like Karkat, dear? He has to have done something to get you to say yes.” She said, and Jade eyes flickered to Karkat.

“Well, he’s actually a nice person, once you get to know him. We have a lot of the same interests, and a similar humor style too. He’s funny, and he cares about other people, and is the guy for advice on anything. Plus, he saved me that one time. Really, he can be a wonderful person.” Jade said, and Karkat blinked.

“Really?” He asked, and Jade shrugged.

“Yeah, pretty much, Karkat.” She responded, and his face flushed at the words. Karkat’s mom looked at him in surprise.

“Karkat, you saved Jade? From what?” She asked, and Karkat looked up at the woman.

“It really wasn’t as big of a deal as everyone made it out to be. I found her asleep on the road, in her moped. She stayed up for a few days doing science, and didn’t realize that going out on the road was so unsafe. I saw her while I was out and brought her back home, no big deal.” He said, and Jade’s eyes widened.

“Are you kidding? That’s totally a big deal, Karkat. I made a really irresponsible decision, but it was back when I first came here. I really wasn’t used to seeing all these roads and stuff, and while I was legally allowed to drive on my moped, I didn’t realize that I couldn’t make the short trip home. I’m, um, a lot more careful about that now.” Jade said, and Karkat’s parent’s looked at their son with impressed and prideful expressions. After dinner ended they served pie, which Jade had eaten before. She appreciated the dish, and Karkat offered to show her his room. She gladly obliged, and her promised his parents he’d keep his door open. Jade saw Karkat’s mom reach for the dishes before walking up the stairs, and turned around swiftly. “Wait, would you like help with that, Mrs. Vantas?” She asked, and the woman blinked.

“Oh it’s fine honey, you can go have fun.” Jade was determined to help at this point though, so she insisted.

“No, after that fantastic meal you shouldn’t have to clean. Please, let me help.” Jade said, and the woman blinked, then smiled.

“Sure, Jade.” Jade went to the sink and did the unclean dishes that were already in there, and Karkat didn’t want to stand around uselessly, so he scooted in next to Jade.

“Mind if I help?” Karkat asked, and Jade looked back at him.

“Oh no, it’s okay Karkat. I can handle it.” Karkat rolled his eyes.

“Yeah, and waste a ton of soap while you’re at it. Seriously, let me.” He said, and Jade glared at him.

“I am not wasting soap, it’s on a sponge.” Jade said, and Karkat rolled his eyes.

“Clearly, you don’t know much about handwashing dishes. Let me.” Karkat said again, and Jade shrugged.

“Fine.” She surrendered the dishes to him easily, and Karkat was a little surprised at the task. Then, Jade grabbed a towel. “But I’m drying.” She added, and held a clean plate in her hand. Karkat looked like he wanted to protest, but realized it was pretty pointless.

“Alright Harley.” He said, and they immediately worked together. After finishing, they still had a while before Jake was scheduled to show up, so they went up to Karkat’s room. When Jade saw it, she snorted.

“Wow, it’s exactly how I expected it to be.” Jade said, smirking. “Actually, this is exactly how I said it would be. You… really like Adam Sandler.” She said, and Karkat looked back at her irritably.

“Okay, first? It was just that movie. And second, don’t question my movie tastes, you like my recommendations.” He said, and Jade rolled her eyes.

“Whatever. Cool room, Karkat.” Jade said, and he smirked.

“Yeah, I know.” He said, and she ‘lightly’ punched his shoulder. Of course, she was a werewolf, so hitting something lightly was actually a difficult task. “Hey, oww!” He said, and she shrugged.

“Whoops, my hand slipped.” Karkat unwinded his middle finger.

“Oh hey, my hand slipped too. Whoops.” Jade smirked. She bent down.

“Excuse me, did you drop this?” she asked, and put up her middle finger. Karkat rolled his eyes. This was a competition now.

“Actually, I didn’t. Oh, wait, do you hear that?” He asked, and put his fist up. Karkat did a classic Jack in the box tune, and immediately, his middle finger popped up.

“No points for creativity there, Karkat. Watch a pro do it- this is the spiderman.” Jade said, and put her middle fingers out like web shooters. Karkat smirked.

“I call this-” He put his middle fingers against his head, and it looked like Batman’s ears. “The dark knight.” Karkat said. “Beat that.” He added, and Jade smirked. She pretended like she was knocking an arrow on a bow.

“The hawk eye.” She said simply, and as the arrow flew, her middle finger went out with it. “Top that!” She said, and Karkat looked at her.

“Hawkeye is not more impressive than Batman, in any situation. Points for keeping the theme though. Here’s one you should try.” He said, and put his middle finger up, then pretended to brush his face, lips, and eyes.

“That’s not original at all, it’s just putting on makeup. I have no reason to use that one.” She said, and Karkat smirked, waiting for her to get the insult. Her eyes widened. “Asshole!” She said, and Karkat laughed. She glared. They were done playing around now.

“Beat that, Harley.” Karkat said, and they launched into a rapid fire series of flip offs. Jade wanted to win this.

“The banana!” Karkat yawned in response.

“Lame, Kamehameha!”

“I’m over 9000!” She shouted, and Karkat started to get into it as well.

“T- Rex!”

“Tick tock it’s the CLOCK.”

“Toot toot it’s the flute!”

“Ah darn, my scissors broke!”

“We can do it!” Karkat said, and Jade looked at him.

“Wasn’t that for like, propaganda?” Jade asked, and Karkat shrugged.

“So what? You got it.” He responded, and Jade shrugged.

“Okay, I think I need a drink after hearing that, better unscrew the cork!” Jade said, and Karkat snorted. Jade hid her incoming smile under a smirk when Karkat laughed.

“Peek-a-boo, I see you!”

“Brush, brush, brush my teeth!”

“Do you believe in unicorns?”

“Nah I’m more into rhinoceroses.” Jade said, and Karkat glared.

“Hey, you took mine.”

“I repurposed it.”

“You running out of ideas?” Karkat asked triumphantly, and Jade cracked her knuckles.

“Not even close. Your turn.” She said, and Karkat smirked again.

“Here comes the bull!” Karkat said, and ran towards his bed, near Jade. The girl jumped out of the way and pretended she had a cape with her middle finger.

“Ole!”

“Better blow up this balloon.” Karkat said, and she smirked.

“Better blow something else.” She said, and put the finger near her mouth. Karkat laughed again.

“Better blow this popsicle stand!” He said, mimicking dynamite, and the action spurred a laugh from Jade.

“Hiss, sizzle!” Jade said, but her lines were no longer delivered with malice in her voice. She found herself laughing between words, and Karkat did the same.

“Time to put out my cigarette.”

“Chuga chuga choo choo!”

“Pop goes the weasel.” Karkat said, and Jade giggled.

“Lame!” Jade said, and Karkat snorted. “Try something like… the whip!” She said, and made an actual whipping motion. Karkat shrugged.

“Sure, here’s the nae nae.”

“Dab!” She said, and he stumbled back, horrified.

“You disgust me. Jade, you’ve forced me to release the ultimate.” Karkat said, knowing for sure she couldn’t beat what he had planned.

“Okay then, let’s see it.” He took a deep breath.

“I’ve got one question for you.” He said, and Jade felt the smile twitch on her face again. “What are thooose?” He asked loudly, and she laughed.

“Okay, okay, that was pretty good.” She admitted, and he nodded in satisfaction. “But I’ve got a better one- Wait, one second!” She said, and picked up her phone. Karkat blinked, thinking she’d stopped, and took a seat. “Yes? Really?” She said, and paused. “Oh, okay. It’s for you.” Jade said. Karkat thought Jake was asking for directions or something, until he saw the way she handed him the phone. She held it with her middle finger, and smiled evilly. Karkat screamed. He literally screamed, and Jade burst into uproarious laughter. Karkat joined her, and he had tears in his eyes by the time he stopped.

“Holy shit, Jade.” He said, wheezing.

“Ha, I win!” She said, and Karkat rolled his eyes.

“Yeah, Don’t get used to it.”

Eventually, a car pulled into the Vantas driveway, but it wasn’t Jake’s vehicle. The second they saw the truck, Jade grinned. Karkat’s mom noticed this, and she smiled sweetly at Jade.

“Oh, is that for you?” She asked, and Jade nodded.

“That’s my ride! Thank you for inviting me over tonight, I had a wonderful time.” Jade said, and Karkat’s dad spoke up.

“No problem, Jade. You were a fantastic guest. Karkat’s lucky to have met you.” He said, and Karkat’s mom winked at her.

“Oh, and I hope we’ll be seeing you soon, Jade. Give me a hug before you go!” She said, and Jade gladly walked into the woman’s arms. She squeezed her tightly, and the mannerisms still seemed achingly familiar. Karkat’s Dad opened the front door, and Dirk stood there in all his machine oiled, poped polo shirt collared blonde glory.

“Hi.” He said, and the Karkat’s dad offered him a quick smile.

“Hello. You must be here to pick up Jade. She was great tonight.” The man said, and Dirk smiled.

“I’ll be sure to tell Jake you said so. Thanks for having her over.” He said, and Karkat’s mom spoke up.

“No problem, she was a peach.”

“Thanks. Hey, Karkat.” He said, and Karkat looked up at the man, forcing his usual annoyed expression on his face.

“Hi Dirk.”

“Jade, you ready to go?” He asked, and she grinned.

“Yes! Thanks for having me over, dinner was great! I’ll see you later, Sh-Karkat.” She said, and Karkat nodded.

“Yeah, see you around, Jade.” He responded, and Jade exited the Vantas house. Jade looked to Dirk, who gave her a thumbs up.

“Nice going kid. See, I told you not to freak out about it.” He said, and Jade shrugged.

“Yeah, but his older brother gets annoying. He’s like a tumblr social justice warrior, and talks about it in real life. Not only that, but he just kept talking, and talking, forever. It was getting hard to listen.” Jade said, and Dirk raised an eyebrow.

“You didn’t let him talk for long, did you?” He asked, and Jade shook her head.

“Oh fuck no. Karkat told me not to do that, and I listened to that much. Still, his parents are super nice. And his mom seems familiar, but I don’t know why.” Jade said, and Dirk raised a hand.

“Well high five, they seem to like you.” He said, and Jade slapped his hand gleefully. The two walked into his car, and Jade leaned her head on the window. The car blared rap dubstep, and they sped off into the night.

JAFNF Chapter 104

(Monday, April 26)

Damara flipped past a final page and put her pencil down. She was done studying, for now. Of course, while she was happy to be done reviewing her material from the semester, she had nothing to do. The girl sighed. She spent the greater part of the weekend watching anime, and wanted to go do something else for a change. Her sister was off somewhere with Sollux, so hanging out with her family wasn’t an option. She wasn’t sure what to do, and today was an unusually hot day for spring, or just Washington in general. She checked the outside temperature again- 86 degrees on a Fahrenheit scale.  Eventually, after thinking, frowning, and laying around, she decided she would see if any of her friends were busy. Damara knew Nepeta wasn’t on vacation, and after taking a deep breath, the Asian girl got out her phone, and decided she’d ask to hang out.

Annihilation Attendant (AA) began pestering Arsenic Catnip (AC).

That was how far she got, until she realized she had no idea what to say. She didn’t want to be awkward, but if her wording was off she could have sounded uncertain, or desperate. Even worse, she could have implied something she didn’t want to, or offended Nepeta. Just typing ‘do you want to hang out?’ seemed too casual for her, and she didn’t want Nepeta to think she was being flippant. At the same time, she didn’t want to seem too pretentious either. The girl groaned. This was why she never hung out with people. She was always too terrified to know what to say or do. Damara stared at her phone in despair, until a message actually came from Nepeta.

AC:      :33 < Damara!!

AC:      :33 < Do you want to hang out today?

AC:      :33 < We’re going to the pool Equitty’s neighborhood, and he told me I could invite whoefur!

Damara blinked, and a relieved smile stretched across her face. Now all she had to say was yes! Then she realized that just saying the word yes may have been a little too short. Saying ‘I would love to’ sounded too pretentious too. Before responding, she decided she would look it up. After closing out a tab on Metafiction, she went to the search engine with her query. She said the words aloud since she was in her room, and waited eagerly for the results.

“How to say yes to hanging out.” She said, typing the words on the screen. In an instant (or, .48 seconds as Google was kind enough to point out) she had multiple results. The first one was saying yes when a guy asked her out, along with the second, but neither applied to the situation. The result directly after it was a site she frequented, but it explained how to ask someone to hang out, not how to say yes. As she scrolled down the page she found ways to say no, and ended up checking out the first result again. It was a wiki how, and she checked out the first step. It told her to say ‘Of course, I would love to’, ‘Yes, I’m flattered you would ask’ and ‘That would be lovely’. She looked through her options carefully, and eventually decided on the first one, but modified it.

AA: YES, I W0ULD LOVE T0.

AC:      :33 < Great!

AC:      :33 < Tavros is going to be there too.

AC:      :33 < I don’t think you’ve met him.

AA: I HAVEN’T MET EQUIUS EITHER

AC:      :33 < Purrfect, then you can meet them today! They should be coming over at one.

AA: I’LL BE THERE AT 0NE THEN.

AA: D0 WE MEET AT THE P00L 0R HIS H0USE?

AC:      :33 < At the purrool!

AC:      :33 < I’ll give you the address.

Damara put it in her phone, and went off to go find her swimsuit. It was already twelve, and she needed to be ready.

AA: THANK, NEPETA.

AC:      :33 < I’ll see you there!

Annihilation Attendant (AA) ceased pestering Arsenic Catnip (AC).

She decided to change course first and ask her mom what to do, who encouraged her to go hang out with friends. Damara knocked on her room door, and her mother moved things around, but said she could come in.

“ ママ？あなたのお友達のプールに私を運転することはできますか？ ” (Mom? Can you drive me to a friend’s pool?) She used Japanese for her request, and her mother seemed more than fine with it. However, the woman had a coy smirk on her face.

“ あなたの友達？この友人は名前を持っています ?” (Your friend? Does this friend have a name?”) She asked, and Damara frowned.

“ まあ、ネペタは私を招待したが、我々は彼女の友人のプールに行っています .”(Well, Nepeta invited me, but we’re going to her friend’s pool.) The woman shrugged.

“ 私はあなたを運転しますよ。ときあなたはそこにする必要がありますか ”(I’ll drive you. When do you need to be there?) She asked, and Damara looked at a wall clock.

“1 時に。、母、ありがとうございました ” (At one o’clock, thank you mom.) The woman nodded, and Damara went off to find her swimsuit again. Once she located it, she tried it on, and found that if fit her. As she checked herself in the mirror for any swimsuit issues, she realized her mother stood lazily at her door. Surprised, she turned around sharply, but the woman had a Cheshire grin on her face.

“ なぜあなたはポーズをとっていますか？そこに男の子があるように起こっていますか ?  あなたはちょうどあなたが本当にそれをしたい場合は、あなたを見するためにそれらを求めることができ、知っていま .”

(Why are you posing? Are there going to be boys there? You know, you can just ask them to look at you, if you really want it that badly.) Damara’s eyes widened in surprise.

“Mother! No, that’s not why!” She said, slipping back into English. The woman looked at her teasingly.

“ 、私は一度、あまりにも若かったしてください .  心配しないで、あなたのお母さんは、ここを支援することです .  あなたが歩くとき、あなたの腰を振るようにしてください、彼らはあなたに気づくようにしてくださいます .  そして、あなたの髪をダウンしてみましょう !  あなたはこの老婆のスタイルでそれを維持、彼らは我々が姉妹だと思いますよ ! ） (Please, I was young once too. Don’t worry, your mother is here to help. Be sure to swing your hips when you walk, they’ll be sure to notice you then. And let down your hair! You keep it in this old woman’s style, they’ll think we’re sisters!) Damara’s cheeks reddened.

“I am not trying to impress boys! I just want to look okay- and I won’t swing my hips,  キモい !” (Gross!) She said defiantly, and her mother just laughed.

(I will need the address. Be in the car in ten minutes.) She said, and walked away. Damara looked down, embarrassed. Her mother could be… suggestive, at times. And while she laughed at the odd, possibly promiscuous joke from time to time, she could never understand her mother’s fascination with sex, especially when it came to her. Luckily, the woman didn’t go too far this time. Eventually, Damara got her stuff together, and liberally applied sunscreen so she wouldn’t burn.  She did, eventually anyway, let her hair out, and her mother smiled smugly when she saw her. After a few minutes of making sure she had everything, she donned a shirt and got in the car.

After a few minutes, they arrived at the neighborhood pool, and as her mom went to drop her off, she saw Nepeta bounce over to the gate in a green swimsuit. She quickly left it when she saw Damara in the car, and ran up to see her.

“Damara!” She said cheerfully, and the girl grinned.

“Hi Nepeta! Thanks for inviting me to hang out today.” She said, and she nodded excitedly.

“Of course, it’s going to be so much fun! I don’t know when we’re leaving exactly, but Equitty ordered pizza, and Tavros is already here!” She said excitedly, and Damara was more than ready to enjoy herself. Tavros walked up to the gate, and waved.

“Um, Nepeta, how do I- oh, um, hi.” He said, and as her mother saw him, wearing only swim trunks and flip flops, she made a very, very vulgar comment. Damara’s face lit on fire, and she looked at the woman in horror. She was ready to get into a full scale argument about the sheer lewdness of her words, but realized Nepeta and this person, whoever he was, were around her.

“Um, right, love you too mom, I’ll see you!” She said and the woman only laughed, but drove away. Nepeta dragged Damara back to the pool area, and she saw the boy. He was around their age, and he looked unsure about something, but Damara gave him a little wave. “Hi, sorry about, that. I’m-”

“Aradia?” Came a surprised voice from behind them. Everyone turned to look at the source, who happened to be a tall, buff guy that quickly grew flustered. “I mean, fiddlesticks, my apologies, I wasn’t made aware, oh, fiddlesticks.” He said again, and Damara blinked. He looked familiar.

“Wait a second, I know you- you’ve been to my house before! I’m Damara, Aradia’s twin sister.” She said, a little awkwardly. The person across from her blinked, then realized that he made a mistake.

“My apologies, Damara. I’m Equius, it’s nice to meet you. I didn’t know Aradia had a twin sister.” Damara let out a sigh. She was in her sister’s shadow, again.

“I get that a lot, it’s okay. Nice to meet you too.” She said, and tried to avoid sighing again. Maybe today wasn’t such a good idea after all-

“Oh, I’m Tavros. It’s nice to, uh, meet you.” The boy from behind her said, and she smiled pleasantly.

“Hi, Tavros.” She said, and they had an awkward pause before Nepeta jumped in.

“Oh, Damara, I like your swimsuit, it’s purretty!” She said, and the complement surprised her, but she smiled gratefully.

“Thanks Nepeta. Do you know where I should put my stuff?” She asked, and Nepeta grabbed her hand.

“Oh, O-fur here! I put my towel down near the pool though. It’s so hot today!” Nepeta said, and Damara nodded, following her.

“I know, right! I hope global warming isn’t getting bad.” She said, her words laced with concern. Nepeta only shrugged.

“At least we get to do this now! Come on, I want to get in the pool!” Damara hurriedly dropped her stuff, and followed Nepeta to the edge of the water.

“Is it cold?” She asked, and Equius answered for her.

“No, this one’s heated. Tavros, would you like to join them, as well?” He asked, and Tavros looked down nervously.

“Um I think I’m, uh, okay.” He said, and Nepeta looked at him in surprise.

“Oh no, Tavros! Why not?” She asked, and he put a hand on his arm.

“I um, don’t really, uh, swim.” He said, and continued. “I mean, I’ve never really done this whole, um, pool thing, so I uh, don’t really want to drown, or something um, awful like that.” Nepeta put a hand on her chin in thought.

“But I really want you to join us in here! It’s no fun if everyone can’t come.” Equius thought about it, then coughed.

“Nepeta. I believe I have arrived at a solution. Tavros, would you be alright if you used, say, a floatie?” He asked, and Tavros looked at him.

“Is that, uh, a thing that makes you float? I’m guessing?” He asked, and Equius nodded, then started walking over to the area where pool toys were present. Thankfully, he found a doughnut themed tube, and gave it to Tavros.

“Precisely. If you’d like, you can use it in the water.” He said, and Tavros thought about it.

“Okay. How do I, uh, put it on?” He asked, and Equius instructed him. Once that was situated, Nepeta looked at Damara.

“Damara! We should jump in together!” She said, and they went off to enjoy the pool from there. It had a low diving board on the longer end of the pool, and no lifeguards were in sight. After jumping in, the two proceeded to swim around, and enjoy the significantly cooler presence of the pool. Equius eventually joined them, and Nepeta tackled him in the water. He easily caught her, and though it wasn’t the desired reaction, she had fun anyway. Tavros talked to Damara about being and knowing twins, and she promised to give him her sister’s pester chum handle later. Eventually Nepeta suggested a pool game, and Tavros walked around blindly, yelling Marco while others said Polo.

They played a few rounds of that, switching the Marcos and Polos every time. When it was finally Nepeta’s turn to search, she found Tavros first, but tagging him turned into more of a hug. Equius accidentally grabbed Tavros’ arm, and he fretted over making sure the fairy was okay. After all, he had a bit of a strong grip, and Tavros did have to shake off the injury. Damara couldn’t seem to find anyone for a while, but eventually she caught one person swimming deftly across from her, and she lunged to tag them. The girl caught Equius square in the chest, and she grinned when she reached him. He appeared impressed, but she sneakily moved to catch the other members of the party.

After playing that, they moved on to sharks and minnows, and even played Oreo, a variation. When Damara said popular animes that start with ‘F’, after Tavros said Fairy Tail and Nepeta quickly followed with Fullmetal, Equius promised he would get Damara back for her difficult category. She inevitably tagged him though he tried to race across. As he went up there and announced pony names that started with ‘R’, after they Nepeta and Tavros said Rarity and Rainbow Dash, she gave up and tried to swim across the pool. Equius tagged her in seconds, and she rolled her eyes at him. They had an unspoken agreement to do easier, or at least more common ones.

Tavros couldn’t be picked anyway due to his floatie restriction, and Nepeta ended up climbing atop the diving board. She chose a catergory- Ice cream flavors that started with B. Equius looked like he was going to have trouble, and Damara noticed.

“Just make something up, it probably exists somewhere.” She whispered and he thought about it, and nodded.

“Thank you for your assistance.”

“Uh, What are we talking about?”

“Hey, no help furrom other people!” Nepeta said and Damara looked at her apologetically.

“Sorry, Nepeta.” The mentioned girl had her hands on her lithe hips, and she looked down at them. Tavros offered blueberry, Damara said birthday cake, and after a little thinking, Equius offered butterscotch. Tavros high fived him when he reached the other side. After a little more hanging around in the pool, they decided that they were hungry. Nepeta ordered pizza, but remembered that Equius didn’t eat it, and he promised her he would eat later.

They kept swimming until the pizza arrived, and after taking a little time to build up confidence, Tavros asked Nepeta if she could ‘show him how swimming worked’. Nepeta wanted to do it immediately, but the pizza arrived, so they all took a break to eat it. Equius didn’t eat it, which made things a little awkward when he paid for it, but eventually, Nepeta led Tavros back to the water. In an instant, Damara and Equius were unintentionally third wheeled, and Damara decided to take a break from swimming. Equius had been casually browsing his phone, and Damara took her towel and sat next to him, then did the same. Both felt the pressure to talk without knowing what to say, while both Tavros and Nepeta splashed around in the water.

Damara looked up. Tavros was already pulling himself through the water, while Nepeta shouted encouragements. Damara looked down. The pressure to talk weighed heavily on her, but she couldn’t figure out what to say. Damara looked up. Nepeta and Tavros were so easy going, and she wished she could just do that. Damara looked down. The tumblr screen was far less interesting than the person sitting beside her, but she couldn’t figure out what to say. Damara looked up. Maybe she could talk about how well Tavros seemed to be doing, for his first day of swimming. Damara looked down again. Maybe not. Damara looked to the side, at Equius. He could tell he was embarrassed, and guessed that if she touched the skin of his cheek, she’d find heat. The reason being? His stomach gurgled.

“Are you hungry? I have an apple in my bag.” She offered, and Equius looked like he wanted to refuse, but he looked at her gratefully.

“I would appreciate it. Thank you.” He said, and Damara wanted to scream yes. No, she wanted to scream ‘hell yes’. No, this situation required the full out ‘hell fucking yes’ because she managed to start a conversation and it was smooth and no one died. She quickly walked over to her bag, and grabbed the aforementioned apple. It was washed from before, and she handed it to Equius.

“Thanks for buying us pizza. I felt bad that you didn’t get any.” She said, and he finished chewing before responding.

“It’s my pleasure. In fact, I believe having more company is a welcome change in pace for me. I suppose Nepeta was right again.” He said, and Damara looked at him.

“Oh? About what?” She asked, and he swallowed his apple, then explained.

“Earlier I was a little… hesitant, shall we say, about inviting a few more people over than just her. She convinced me that I would enjoy myself, and she was correct. I should listen to her far more often.” He said, and Damara smiled.

“I’m glad you’re having a good time. You are the host, after all, and an excellent one at that.” Damara said, and Equius looked at her carefully.

“Are you enjoying yourself as well?” He asked, and she nodded vigorously.

“Definitely! I guess I was just a little nervous about hanging out today. I’m not exactly… super social? I don’t really do pool gatherings, and stuff like this a lot. So thank you for letting me come, I’ve been having a good time.” She said, and he offered her a smile.

“You’re welcome. I am a little surprised that you said you don’t do this often, you seemed natural enough to me.”

“Really? Wow, that’s actually really reassuring. I definitely wasn’t though. I’m pretty sure I questioned everything I’ve ever done when Nepeta asked me to come into the pool. I know I get too nervous and overthink things, which is probably why I don’t go do stuff more often. You seemed natural throughout today too.”

“Well, it’s nice to know I’m good at keeping up appearances. And speaking of that, I’m sorry for confusing you with Aradia. I was never aware that she had a twin sister.” He said, and Damara sighed, but shrugged.

“It really is okay, Equius. Most people don’t know about me, even though we go to the same school. I guess she’s more of the extrovert, while I’m kind of the introvert. People usually just think I’m her, even though we are pretty different. It happens.” Her tone was dismissive, perhaps overly so, but Equius didn’t get into it.

“Even so, you recognized me, despite, to my knowledge, never meeting?” He said, making it a question. Damara got a little embarrassed at the words, and decided not to tell them that they shared a class in middle school.

“Well, Aradia’s spoken about you.” She said, and Equius’ entire demeanor got a little more hopeful.

“Aradia’s spoken of me? What did she say?” He asked, and Damara instantly felt bad. Her sister described him as ‘the tall, bossy, sweaty guy in my class that wouldn’t get over her’, but he seemed so happy to know that she’d mentioned him. Damara dug herself into another hole, and she had to try and think about something nice, but truthful.

“She said you were tall, and that you shared a class?” Damara tried, picking the kinder truth out of her statement. It sounded weak to her, but apparently it was more than enough for Equius.

“Really? Thank you for telling me.” He said, and she nodded, feeling a little guilty. She wasn’t entirely sure what his deal was, in relation to Aradia, but if it was described so negatively it couldn’t have been well received on his sister’s end. Damara idly wondered what made her dislike him so much. He seemed agreeable, at least, to her.

“So, are you two friends?” She asked, trying not to leave a hole in conversation. His shoulders seemed to fall at the words.

“We’re more of acquaintances, but we’ve shared classes for a while. It’s been made apparent that she’s not the biggest fan of mine. Not that I blame her.” He added, and looked at her hopefully. “Still, it’s definitely nice to know that she’s spoken about me, and in a manner that didn’t depict hatred.” Damara was confused.

“But if Aradia hates you, why do you care what she says?” She asked, and Equius grew flustered after she spoke. He coughed into his fist.

“Well, it would seem that, I mean- oh, fiddlesticks. I apologize, Damara, but I’m not entirely sure that I can share.” He said, and Damara’s eyes widened. No, no, no! She made him uncomfortable, she had to be the worst guest in the history of guests. Why did she always mess everything up?

“I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to get so personal. That’s really between you and her, I’m really sorry.” She said, but her apologies surprised Equius.

“It’s okay. Don’t apologize, you didn’t do anything wrong. I’m just not quite certain that I am adequately prepared to discuss this right now.” He explained, but the words hardly reassured her. Before they could go into it, a joyus shriek made them both look up, and Tavros was laughing. Nepeta surfaced from under the water.

“What was it?” She asked, and he looked at her shyly.

“Vanilla bean.” She slapped a hand to her forehead, and shook her head.

“I should have known that! Fine, it’s my turn!” She said, and he looked at her in concern.

“Are you sure you can hold me up?” He asked, and she grinned.

“Efurrything is lighter underwater! Don’t worry though Tavros, I won’t be holding  you for long.” She said teasingly, and Tavros looked back at her.

“Don’t be too sure!” He said. Equius watched the new game with interest and Damara did the same. Nepeta held Tavros’ body partially underwater, leaving his head above the pool.

“Okay, My favorite ice cream fla-fur?” She asked, and he smiled at her.

“Cotton Candy.” He said, and Nepeta was surprised.

“Hey, that’s right! Oh , I have to do harder ones. Hmm… What’s my favorite restaurant chain?” She tried, and he looked at her.

“Hey, when have you, uh, mentioned that?” He asked, and Nepeta’s face grew into a Cheshire grin.

“I said it once, to you.” Tavros sighed.

“Chick fil- a?” He asked, and she put him underwater, then held him again.

“Nope! It sells milkshakes!” She said, and Tavros frowned.

“Um, Sonic?” He guessed, and she giddily dunked him again.

“Wrong! Last clue, it’s a burger place!” She said, and he shrugged.

“I don’t know, five guys?” He guessed, and she giggled again, then dunked him in the water and flipped him over. Tavros found his way to the surface of the water, and looked at her. “What is it?” He asked, and she giggled.

“It’s flip burger! Do you remember that one conversation we had about doughnut milkshakes? Yeah.” She said, and Tavros thought about it, then nodded.

“Oh, uh, darn, I remember now.”

“What are you guys playing?” Damara asked curiously, and both Tavros and Nepeta seemed surprised at her presence. They realized with a start that both of them forgot about the other members of their group, and Tavros put a hand on his neck in embarrassment while Nepeta looked up apologetically.

“It’s called categories, sorry fur not showing you two earlier. But, it’s a game where you dunk people in the pool! It’s really fun, if you want to play in the shallow water.” Damara thought about it. Being pushed into water, back of head first, didn’t seem like a fun activity. Plus, she was sure she wouldn’t know the answers to any of the questions Nepeta or Tavros asked. Damara looked at Equius, and he seemed to feel the same way at the activity.

“Actually, I think I’ll give the diving board a try. You two have fun.” Damara said, and Nepeta shrugged.

“Okay, If you say so. Tavros, it’s your turn!” Nepeta said, and Tavros gladly grabbed the girl.

“I’m going to, uh, make this round more difficult.” Nepeta giggled.

“Bring it on, Tavros!” She said, and they started to play again. Equius eventually put down his phone, and joined Damara in using the diving board. He wondered about why he never knew about Damara’s presence. After all, he’d visited her house with the intentions of wooing Aradia, and all of them were unsuccessful. It seemed he’d been so encapsulated in his defeat that he didn’t notice Damara, and really, he felt bad about it. They spent the majority of the day diving, playing a few more games, and doing ungerwater summersaults until Damara’s mom arrived. She still had to be back in time to get ready for whatever her mom prepared, and it meant that she had to leave. After her departure, Equius realized just how third wheeled he really was during their pool time. Of course, he didn’t mind. Nepeta and Tavros seemed to be having a lot of fun, and in the end, that was what mattered.

After a little more playing around, Nepeta’s sister called, and asked if she needed picking up. She said no, considering that she already planned to hitch a ride with Tavros, and after dressing, the two left. Equius warned her to be safe on the motorcycle, and she thanked him (via hug) for allowing her to hang out. Tavros offered his shy thanks as well, especially for the floatie toy. They promised to do something similar soon, and Nepeta held Tavros tightly as they sped off into the evening.

After making sure the pool was efficiently managed and throwing away the odd napkin, Equius prepared to leave. He almost closed the gate when he saw it- Damara’s cell phone sat in her chair, and he quickly went back to pick it up. He had to return it immediately. Still, he couldn’t appear at Aradia’s home, uninvited, and still reek of chlorine. He immediately made a decision. Equius would return it after a shower. So, he went home, and quickly removed the chlorine from his body. The thought of going to Aradia’s home made him sweat. She made it clear that she disliked Equius, but he had to bring Damara’s phone back to her.

He decided to put on something a little more formal. His father noticed his attire, and for the first time in a while, they maintained some meaningful conversation. When he told him he was off to return a friend’s phone, the man made sure he hurried to go do it. Equius already knew the location of her house, and made sure he had the phone with him before he left. The drive wasn’t too long, and eventually, he surfaced at the front door. As he raised his hand to knock on the door, he hoped he wasn’t sweating too much. After a swift series of knocks and ringing the doorbell once, Aradia answered the front door. He was surprised at the fortuitous outcome.

“Aradia! Forgive me for-”

“No. Equius, I believe I’ve made things more than clear. I am not interested, and I would kindly ask you to stop visiting my house, especially unannounced. Good evening.” She said, and reached to close the door.

“Wait! Aradia, I-” She groaned angrily.

“Equius, for the last time! I don’t like you! No, forever, and even after that! I don’t care how long you’ve liked me, you’re too persistent and creepy, leave me alone!” She slammed the door in his face, and returned to the dinner table angrily. Equius stood outside, wondering what he could do. He still needed to return Damara’s phone, but he made Aradia upset. He stood and waited for a minute, then knocked on the door again. He heard a little noise, and a yell, then footsteps. Suddenly the door opened, and before Equius prepared to apologize for everything he’s ever done, he realized that it wasn’t Aradia who greeted him at the door.

“Damara!”

“Hi Equius, sorry about Aradia. Uh, were you just here to ask her out again?” She asked, and he shook his head, clumsily holding out the cell phone.

“No, I came for you. You left your phone at the pool, I thought it would be fitting to return it as soon as possible.” He said, and her eyes widened in surprise. He looked down.

“Equius, thank you. I’m really sorry about Aradia, she went way overboard, and you even stayed to return my phone- thank you.” And she truly meant it. The gratitude in her expression was genuine, and Equius appreciated it.

“Of course, it was only appropriate.” He thought about Aradia’s reaction, and looked to the side. “I doubt she wants to see me right now, but please tell Aradia that I apologize for causing her any discomfort.” Damara put a hand over her arm awkwardly.

“I will, she’ll probably apologize soon. I still have no idea why she just blew up like that.” Damara said, and Equius sighed.

“No, it isn’t her fault. I’ve asked her to date me far too many times, even if it was before I learned she took an interest in Sollux. It was more that legitimate to believe that I was attempting once again. I simply wished that I hadn’t damaged my reputation to the point where it’s come to this- but I digress. Hopefully, I will see you at school eventually, and thank you once again for visiting. Enjoy the remainder of your break, Damara.” He said, and she knew she couldn’t do much to fix the sad tone in his voice.

“Thanks Equius, you too. I’m really, really sorry about this.” She said, and Equius frowned.

“You have no reason to be sorry.”

“But if I hadn’t left my phone, none of this would have happened. I wish I could make this up to you, somehow.” She said, and he shook his head.

“There is no need. And if I hadn’t been so persistent in my attempts, I’m positive this would not have happened. Please do not  place the blame on yourself, Damara. I believe it would be best for me to return home now, as to cease aggravating Aradia. Have a good evening, Damara.” He said, and she sighed.

“You two, Equius.” She watched as he walked down the driveway to his car once again, and drove away. Immediately, she turned and locked the door. Damara was more than ready to have a few words with her sister tonight. The cell phone caught her eye, and she thought about how Equius must feel, after being rejected so wrongly, and harshly. They would definitely have a conversation tonight.

_________________________

AN: IT’S DONE. THAT WAS 11 FULL PAGES IN SIZE 11 FONT. WE’RE GETTING BACK TO THE MAIN CHARACTERS NEXT CHAPTER, I PROMISE. THIS IS GOING TO BE AWFUL FOR EDITING, BANGARANG. WHAT DID I EVEN DO HERE? FILLERS. THIS IS A FILLER. ALSO WHAT’S YOUR FAVORITE FAST FOOD PLACE, BYE. OKAY, I’M DONE HERE.

JAFNF Chapter 105

(Monday, April 26)

John woke up the next morning before Dave. He rubbed the tiredness out of his eyes when he noticed his friend’s sleeping form, and smiled. In an instant, he found clothes, a towel, and everything else he needed, then went off to take a shower. After spending ten minutes under the warm streams of water, he proceeded to fully ready himself for whatever lied ahead of them that day. When he came out, Dave was clearly awake, but still laid in bed. John appeared above his friend, and made sure that he was indeed awake. After confirming that he was, he proceeded to tap his shoulder. Dave turned over and saw John.

“Good morning, Dave!” He said cheerily, and Dave blinked. He smiled after seeing John’s face, then got confused for a second. Why is John in his- the memories of the day before faded in slowly, and he remembered that he was on the Egbert family’s vacation.

“Hey, morning Egbert. You smell minty.” He said, and John looked at him.

“Yeah, it’s this thing called toothpaste? You should try it, really. Anyway, I already got ready, so once you get up we can go find Dad.” He said, and Dave nodded.

“K. What time is it?” He asked, then answered his own question. “Actually, never mind. I already know.” He said, and John smirked.

“Nice going, clock boy.”

“Shut up hammer man.” He responded quickly, then sat up. He hopped out of bed and located the clothes he planned to wear, then walked to the restroom with nothing but his boxers on. John realized how underclothed his friend was with a start, and quickly moved to focus on something else. He went to his phone and checked for new messages, and found one from Rose.

\-- tentacleTherapist [TT] began pestering ectoBiologist [EB] –

TT: John, are you and Dave awake?

EB: Hi Rose

EB: Yes, we’re up.

TT: Are you two ready?

EB: No, not yet.

EB: Well, I am, but he’s not.

EB: Are you?

TT: Unfortuantely, I am. Kanaya woke up before me, and the shower is unusually loud.

EB: Oh, sorry Rose.

EB: I know you really like getting sleep.

TT: I believe ecsessive sleeping is more Jade’s niche than mine.

TT: Though she’s been working at identifying that one girl’s species.

TT: In actuality John, you may be the only obscenely early riser within my close circle of friends.

TT: Along with Kanaya, of course.

EB: Hey, It’s not obscene. I get up earlier for school.

EB: You’re probably just adjusting to the time change!

EB: Anyway, where are we all doing the food thing?

TT: “The food thing”?

TT: Perhaps this is just a term we use in New York

TT: But most of us refer to this as breakfast.

EB: Whatever, it’s a food thing too!

EB: And anyway how can you already be so snarky? We only just got ready.

TT: It’s a gift.

TT: As for when we’re doing your “food thing”, you should probably wait until everyone’s ready for the day.

TT: In all honesty, I’m not hungry yet.

EB: Yeah, neither am I.

EB: So, what did you and Kanaya get up to last night?

EB: Since we kind of just stayed in our hotel rooms for the rest of the night.

TT: We talked, and I wrote a little, while she read a few books.

TT: What did you and Dave do?

EB: We watched a movie and talked, then I helped Karkat through his emotional crisises.

TT: You two seem to do that to each other a lot.

EB: I guess.

EB: One second, Dave’s asking me a question and it looks like I’m ignoring him.

TT: A travesty. I’ll see you whenever we all decide to go downstairs.

EB: Bye!!

ectoBiologist (EB) ceased pestering tentacleTherapist (TT).

“Jooohn. Johnny boy. Johnny windsock. J man. J-sock. John Travolta.” John turned around.

“What?” He asked, and Dave smirked.

“Hi.” John looked at him, his face unimpressed.

“Really, that’s all?” Dave laughed.

“No. Have you seen my sweatshirt?” He asked, and John shook his head.

“No, why are you always losing that around me? I guess it was good last time since it came in handy, but now it’s just lost.” John said, and Dave raised an eyebrow.

“How did it come in handy?” He asked, and John’s ears heated up with embarrassment.

“No reason! Did you wear your sunglasses in the shower?” He said quickly, and Dave raised an eyebrow over his sunglasses.

“Okay first, no. Second, don’t change the subject, how did it come in handy?” He asked, and Dave looked at him. “John, come on. It’s my sweatshirt.” John sighed.

“Okay, don’t be mad. I may have needed something to wear, and I was washing all of my clothes, so-”

“You wore my sweatshirt?” He asked, and John looked down.

“Yes, I’m sorry. It was the only thing that was washed, and all my other clothes were wet, so-”

“No, it’s okay. If you want to wear it, it’s fine, I just didn’t know.” Dave realized he absolutely had to find that sweatshirt now. He walked back to the bathroom, and located in there. After throwing it on, he felt a buzz or two in his pocket. After having his state mandated conversation with Jade (and getting all of the gritty details on Karkat’s family dinner), he put his phone down. A knock on their door brought John’s dad inside, and John greeted him brightly.

“Good morning, Dad!” Dave offered him a similar greeting, and the man smiled at the two.

“Good morning, boys. We’re going to the beach today, I think. But before all that, we’re heading downstairs.” He added, and John sprang up from his bed.

“Okay!” He said enthusiastically, and Dave stood. He followed John and his father out of the door, making sure he had his room key, and met up with Rose, Kanaya and Roxy. The six travelled downstairs in the elevator together, then went to go grab a little food. Thankfully the line was short and they had pretty much everything, so  all of them were seated soon. The tables only seated four, so John, Rose, Roxy and Dad sat together, and left the two vampires to dine across from each other. Both groups maintained some conversation, and Kanaya sipped tea quietly while Dave drank apple juice.

“Dave, do you know our plans for the 29 th ? It is Thursday, the last full night of our vacation.” Kanaya elaborated, and Dave shrugged.

“No idea, Naya. I’ll probably be getting down to some sick beats as usual, why?” Dave asked, and she looked around, then lowered her voice. No one seemed to be paying much attention to the two.

“I’m currently unaware of the plans as well. But, that will be the night of the full moon, David. In fact, it will be the pink moon this time, since it is April.” She said, and Dave looked at her. He realized that their topic probably wouldn’t be great for public ears, and he lowered his voice as well. A young girl sat on the floor obliviously by a table beside them, and no one else seemed to pay attention.

“You going to be okay?” He asked her, glancing at Rose. Even through his sunglasses, Kanaya deduced enough to know where he looked, and her eyes narrowed.

“Dave, I’ve spent years mastering the art of self control. I hope your undertoned suggestion that I can’t handle myself is some more of this human sarcasm I’ve been hearing about.” Kanaya said, and Dave rolled his eyes. The term she’d taken to using made her seem alien, and it confused him to no end. He guessed it was an inside joke with Rose, but still, it made him scoff at the usage.

“Human sarcasm? Really? But no, I’m not saying you can’t handle yourself, just that you should be careful, you know? Pink flower love moon plus pink flower girlfriend plus stuck in the same room all night usually equals bad consequences. If we need to adjust, or something, I’m pretty sure Mr. E and Roxy would get it. I know you’re older than me, and a lot better with all the power moon shit, but I’m just a little worried.” He said, then added the next words like they were an afterthought.  “For you.” He emphasized, and Kanaya’s lips fell, then he realized what he was getting at. Dave was nervous about his own limitations for the night- and he went through a lot of hoops to divert her attention from his growing indecision. Kanaya decided not to call him out on it, after he went so far to disguise his fear.

“I see. Thank you then, I realize that perhaps I’m being unwise. I’ll think on a way to minimize any unfortunate outcomes, for me and Rose.” Kanaya said, and Dave nodded.

“Cool. So, how did you get a handle on the whole teleporting thing anyway?” Dave asked, and Kanaya noticed the falter in his casual demeanor. She remembered how uncomfortable he looked when first discovering his remarkable internal clock, and realized he may be feeling a little insecure. Her maternal instinct kicked in, but instead of showering him in reassurances, she tried to respond casually, like a normal friend would.

“Things started getting easier over time. As I turned eighteen, they seemed to develop fully, but I’m positive I still have more maturing to do. I noticed my teeth growing during this time a lot more as well. You’ll figure it out as time goes on Dave, believe me. I’m sure there’s more to it than just knowing the time, just as there was more to mine than being a human GPS.” She said, and Dave snorted.

“You’re a human GPS?”

“We’re exactly eight hundred fifty eight point six eight two three four one zero one miles from out high school. Our fastest route back would be thehighway. You can find a cell phone sitting atop a toilet seat in the third stall of the restroom right down the hallway, and the owner, I presume, is using the bathroom in the same stall.”

“Okay, that’s weird, but at least it’s useful. Mine doesn’t make any sense, and only knowing the time is kind of a letdown.” Dave said, and Kanaya snorted.

“Believe me, the sudden strange influx of knowledge wasn’t easy for me to understand either, and I certainly lacked excitement about it.  I felt the same way, and in truth, your power is just as useful as mine was in its early stages.” Dave frowned.

“Yeah, but John asked me the time like, ten times yesterday, and it sucks because I’ll always know that I know it. I mean, what if that’s really all my powers are? They’re so specific that no one can say that they’ll be something more.” The blonde said, and Kanaya sighed.

“Dave, I doubt that’s all your abilities will be. Actually, even if your powers are specific, your situation is incredibly familiar.” Dave looked at her.

“Give me one thing that’s similar about our super specific situation.” He said, and Kanaya raised an eyebrow.

“ Dave, Karkat tested my abilities constantly as well. Either that, or he had a horrendous sense of direction- but I digress. For a while, I assumed this was the extent of my special abilities. Now, I see that I can do much, much more.” The vampire said, and looked at Dave kindly. “Don’t be discouraged, when I say that I figured it out eventually, I’m being honest. For the longest time I was worried that my ability was marginally useful at best, but in essence, uninteresting.  I’m sure I wasn’t the only one who dreamed of bending elements to my will and flying, only to be disappointed by my ‘rare’ ability. Give it time, Dave, and you’ll figure out more about your ability. It’s part of maturing- you have to be patient.” She added, and Dave looked at her.

“So you really don’t think this is it then? That I’ll start having clock abilities added to the spectrum, and you know, get something a little cooler than clock boy?” He asked, and Kanaya nodded.

“I know so. Just be patient, you’ll get more stuff when it comes along.” She said, and Dave sighed.

“But what kind of stuff comes with knowing the time? Like, what super, extra special awesomeness comes with that? It seems pretty straight forward, not much else I can do with it.” Dave said, and Kanaya shrugged.

“Well, you can rest assured I asked the same question about being a GPS. I’m sure your abilities will surprise you, because in all honesty, mine felt completely random. Of course, they all had a common theme, but it was so vague that it was difficult to imagine it. My advice would be not to worry about it now, Dave. It will come when it comes to you, and not a moment before.” She added, and Dave thought about it. Her words made sense, and it was comforting to know that someone else went through the same thing.

“Thanks, Kanaya.” He said, and she offered him a close lipped smile.

“You’re welcome, David.” She responded, and he looked over to his side. Roxy walked towards the two, and finally spoke.

“Morning guys? How are you two doing?” Roxy asked, and Dave shrugged, while Kanaya offered her an eased smile.

“I’m doing well, thank you. Is our visit to the beach confirmed, for today?” Kanaya asked, and Roxy nodded.

“Yep! Beach today, boardwalk tomorrow, the ‘mystery spot’ Wednesday, and the surf museum or the Museum of Natural History- whichever one you guys want. I mean, unless we visit the museum today, and move the beach around. We can vote, but the boardwalk’s stuck on Tuesday- I think. I don’t really know. Anyway, are you guys still eating?” She asked, and Dave looked down at his plate. He didn’t need to eat any more. Kanaya looked like she felt the same.

“I think I’m done.” He said, and she looked at Kanaya, who voiced her agreement.

“Okay, great! We’re all heading up to our room to decide on stuff, if you guys want to come with?” She offered, and Dave promptly stood and searched for the trash. After finding it, he noticed John talking to Roxy excitedly, and followed them up. Jacob stood behind them, speaking with Rose. She laughed at something he said, and the man turned to Dave.

“Good morning, Dave. How did you sleep?” He asked, and Dave responded casually.

“Pretty well. What about you?” He asked, and he responded similarly. “That’s good. Thanks for inviting us on this trip.” He said, and he smiled.

“Dave, it’s my pleasure. We’re glad you could come- and you as well, Kanaya.” He added, and the zoned out female pureblood looked up in surprise. She quickly recovered, and offered the man a sincere smile.

“Thank you, Mr. Egbert.” They finished going to Roxy and Jacob’s room, and all sat around discussing their plans. In the end, they decided to do the museum and ‘Mystery spot’ first, check out the boardwalk Wednesday, and let the beach take up their last day of vacation. With the plans finalized, they all decided to visit the Natural History Museum, and possibly check out the surfing one if there was time. They all piled into the car, and Dave had his camera ready.

When they first entered the Museum, Dave did his best to keep his normal, passive smile on his face. He saw a few people following a guide around, and looked at the area. John took him into the wildlife area, where, with permission, they tapered off from the group. He passed dark, smoky exhibits placed next to lighter ones, and took pictures of a few.

“Dave, take one of me, next to this one!” He said, pointing to a forested display. Dave shrugged and did it, then showed John the picture. He liked it (naturally) and they read the description. As they walked on, giggling about jokes that fell under the maturity level of eleven year old boy, they genuinely enjoyed themselves.

“Okay but really, how would you know that’s safe. I mean, if you’re really a settler or something, how the heck would you not know that berry is poisonous?” Dave asked, and John shrugged.

“I don’t know, maybe they just made one person try it, and saw the results. It is really red though, I feel like that’s a warning.” John responded, and Dave nodded.

“Exactly. Sucks for whoever tries it though, I mean- ouch. You’d have to have a ritual for the person who was stuck doing that, or something.” Dave said, and the corner of John’s lip turned up.

“Or you know, they’d just pick the one they hate the most. Just make Craig do it, because no one likes Craig.” Dave laughed.

“No, make someone named Kevin do it. Everyone likes to hate on Kevin. Or like, guys named Geoff that spell their name with a G. Everyone hates on them too, no idea why.” Dave said, and John giggled.

“Everybody hates Kevin. No one likes you, Kevin, go eat the random berry.” John said, and for the purposes of their joke Dave pretended to be Kevin.

“Oh come on guys, why do I have to try it every time?”

“Because you suck as a person, Kevin. No one likes you, Kevin.” John explained calmly, and Dave laughed.

“Man, I hope there’s no one like that in real life.” He said, and John smirked.

“I can think of a person.” John said, and looked at Dave. His eyes narrowed, but he laughed.

“Shut up.” They moved on to the next exhibit from there, and Dave started offering some sarcastic commentary. John joined in soon enough, and they traded off lines. They were quiet enough not to disturb other people, but it made both boys laugh. One person overheard them and laughed a little, drawing Dave and John’s attention. They clearly hadn’t meant to eavesdrop, but they grew super embarrassed and walked away. Dave felt oddly satisfied that their jokes made someone, even the accidental eavesdropper, laugh.

They continued their giggly tour though the museum, and overheard quite a few laughs from around them. John cranked up the humor meter, and they heard various patrons laugh around them. A few people wafted closer to them inconspicuously, and it made John grin. By the time they bumped into Rose and Kanaya, they had a small crowd of random people spanning age groups following behind them and laughing. Eventually, they made such a show out of one Exhibit that Kanaya and Rose found themselves scooting over for other people to be able to see and hear. It was like a warped tour through the museum, and the other patrons seemed to enjoy. John and Dave didn’t exactly acknowledge the people that followed them, but they were accommodating. They received matching texts from Roxy and Jacob, wondering where they were, and realized their family was moving to a different part of the museum.

The two left the crowd almost apologetically, but still casually walked away. When they went into the next room, the grin on John’s face was undeniable, and Dave’s usual smirk bordered on actual smiling next to John. When they moved to the archeology area of the museum, Dave had to hide his unironic fascination with the things inside. He took time to actually read all the panels on old shit belonging to dead people, and seemed mildly impressed. John took a few pictures inconspicuously, catching Dave with a real smile on his face once or twice. He noticed that the blonde tried to hide it, and realized that Dave, his ironic, cool kid of a best friend was kind of a mystery.

When John thought about it, he realized that Dave was probably a lot more than just a dork in cool shades, and the coolest friend ever. Heck, he just found out about one of Dave’s more secretive hobbies, photography, last night. John felt a little bare in comparison. If John was an open book, Dave was more like one open book, placed on top of a stack of closed books that consisted of his entire personality. It looked like he was just one book, but there were a ton of other ones that contributed to who he was, and all of his actions. John was a single, averaged sized book, Dave was a series, and he just now realized how deep his friend’s personality probably was. It wasn’t as if John didn’t know a lot about Dave. He was smart enough to realize Dave shared a lot with him, but there was more to him than met the six years of soul testing friendship.

The desire to know more about Dave struck John in that museum, but he didn’t want to be intrusive. He knew Dave would reveal enough about himself in time, but John felt the weirdest urge to get to know Dave even better now. A faint smile hit John’s face as he watched Dave geek out, then try to hide it. John, of course, wouldn’t say anything to the blonde. If he wanted to hide his inner fascination with dead stuff, John would let him. Still, it was nice to get to see this side of Dave.

It made John wonder what else he was missing with his best friend, whether it was interests or just random personality traits. Then again, there was always something new to learn about Dave. It just added to the list of things that made his best friend so amazing. He still wasn’t sure how Dave felt about him not being the coolest with Terezi, or what his real reasons were behind not dating anyone. The thought of Dave’s channel loomed in his mind, and he tried to push it away. He wasn’t supposed to look at that- when it was time for him to see it, he would see. And until then? Dave would remain a mystery.

_____________________________----

AN: BANGARANG Guys. Hi. I just realized that Dave had a lot of interests that weren’t expanded on in homestuck. Photography, sure, that was pretty much an extension of film. But I never realized he was into Archeology, or paleontology until the end there. I honestly forgot about the dead stuff in his room, and it kind of made me wonder if he was concealing that on purpose. Either Karkat (come on, they’re pretty much canon flushed.) and John lacked a lot of knowledge on this subject, it literally didn’t come up once in three years, or Dave sort of hid it. Despite the looming time/death theories, I think the fact alone brought something interesting to the table with Dave’s character. I look forward to getting into it some more, and yes, that youtube channel is going to be a prevalent thing later.

See you guys tomorrow, with some fun at ‘the mystery spot’!


	24. 106-114

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> pgs 911-1002

JAFNF Chapter 106

(Tuesday, April 27)

When they all piled into the Egbert family rental car that morning, no one felt certain about their destination. A tour pamphlet offered the ‘Mystery Spot’ as a viable source of entertainment for the six. John’s dad went ahead and bought tickets online, and they all went to visit it. Jokes about tourist attractions aside, Dave was more than ready to go see what was so mysterious about this spot. While Kanaya and Rose talked about the possibility of supernaturals in the area, Dave was in a conversation with Roxy and John. John’s dad bopped his head to the 80’s music playing in their car, and nodded along to a beat whenever smooth Jazz came on. It was like, Dad radio or something, because it played different styles of music, and John’s dad seemed to enjoy every song.

John shared some joke he found online with Dave on the ride there, and Dave eventually moved to texting a few friends. After talking to Karkat and Jade, he sent Jade a quick ‘hello’, and ended up talking to Nepeta as well. Roxy was apparently tapping away messages to Dirk, a fact he only discovered after she turned back to look at him.

“Hey, Dave, do you know what moon’s coming the 29 th ?” She asked, and he responded immediately.

“Uh, the Pink one?” He said, then frowned. “Wait, why?” She talked quickly as she responded, and texted words at the same time.

“Oh, Dirk wanted to make sure you knew. You and Kanaya good on… wait, side effects? I didn’t know the moon gave you side effects.” She said, and Kanaya seemed to develop a sudden interest in the floor of the car. She seemed to get a little nervous, with Rose in such close proximity to her.

“Uh, yeah. Moons kind of hit vampires hard, and they’re even more dangerous for purebloods.” He said, and Roxy raised an eyebrow.

“What do you mean by ‘hit hard’? Kanaya?” Roxy asked, and Kanaya felt a little color enter her face. He could tell she didn’t want to get into the side effects, especially the ones that would come with this moon. If Dave was being honest, he was just the slightest bit terrified of spending the night with John. Still, he could use Kanaya and Rose as a cover if he really needed it. So, the blonde jumped in.

“It’s kind of a long story. If we stay away from pink flowers and out of the moon light, I’m sure we’d be okay.” He said, and Roxy put a hand on her chin.

“Okay then, let us know if you two need anything. And I really mean that, especially if these side affects are as hard as you’re saying. We want you two to be safe, okay?” She said, and Dave smiled gratefully.

“Yeah, thanks Roxy.” The car ride fell silent for a little, and he noticed Rose giving Kanaya a confused and inquisitive look or two, but she didn’t say anything. Eventually, they arrived at their so called mystery spot, and John’s Dad held their tickets. Their session started in a few minutes, and would last for a little bit. As they parked past the entrance, John’s dad offered the tickets to a tired teenager. She looked up at him with a smile on her face, but her voice was monotone.

“Thank you for visiting the Mystery Spot, have a mysterious trip.” She said, and Dave gave her a weird look, but they continued. John looked back at her. He hoped she was okay.  She seemed pretty put off by something, but he couldn’t figure out what. They walked in, and eventually found themselves seated in a series of carts, all linked to a golf cart. Dave sat next to Rose, and both were behind Kanaya and Roxy. John and his dad took the front two seats, and two other tourists took the back. Their tour guide, an older man with an eye patch and glasses, offered them a grin. He turned in his seat and viewed his passengers.

“Welcome, Tourists! Are you ready to be dazzled by the mysteries of this world?” He asked, and John and Roxy responded immediately.

“Yeah!” They said, and one of the two in the back shrugged.

“It’s wvat we paid for.” The man laughed, and the cheesy grin on his face didn’t change.

“Don’t worry folks, its worth it. I’m sure some of you may be asking what a mystery spot is. Well, if you come with me on this tour through the forest- and be sure to get your cameras ready, we pass some nice stuff, I’ll show you!” He turned back around, and put his mouth into a microphone, then talked. “Can everyone hear me?” He asked, and his voice came out of speakers. Everyone affirmed their ability to hear, and the man started his golf cart. “Great. Be sure to take pictures. Now folks, we’re going to pass through an area or two of some woods. I’ve personally seen a pretty waterfall or two walking through here, so I’ll slow down when we get to the good stuff.”

So, the tour started. The guide drove through a wooded area, but stuck to a path. He slowed down at certain parts, giving Dave ample time to take a few pictures. As they went on, he explained a little lore about the area, and it seemed to interest Rose. He made a few stops, encouraging people to get up and walk around. They went over bridges that led to rushing water. One of the other people saw litter and scowled, then picked it up. The guide kept up a near- constant stream of information the entire time, and at one point, he stopped the cart. They’d already been driving around and stopping for hours now, and he said the next part involved walking.

So far the tour was good, and Dave got pictures of pretty much everything. He made sure to be a little more inconspicuous about his John photos, and made them less patterned. Dave wasn’t trying to be creepy, but he appreciated beauty in most of its many forms. One just happened to be John. He followed the guide into a different area of the woods, and tuned into what he was saying.

“Now, if any of you guys checked us out online before you got here, you’d know that you haven’t found the real mystery spot. While I’ve walked all of you through some fantastic natural and supernatural occurrences- and don’t worry people, there’s more to come- the most supernatural of all is the place I’m about to show you. I know it’s way out here in the woods, but it messes with your mind. You can start to see California’s supernatural, logic defying properties out here. It slowly gets more noticeable as you go along, trust me.”

“How?” Kanaya asked, and he offered her a charismatic grin.

“Hey, I’ll show you! What’s your name, sweetheart? And your height.” He asked, and she thought about it.

“I’m Kanaya, and I’m approximately 6’1.”

“Cool name, Kanaya. I like the ring of that. And you, kid with the- hey, a Harry Potter fan I see. How tall are you?” He asked, and the one that picked up the litter earlier answered.

“I’m around 5’2.” He said, and the guide nodded.

“Good, good. Now, you asked about the strange properties out here, right? Kanaya and- what’s your name?”

“Eridan.”

“Kanaya and Eridan here are going to help demonstrate. If you two could stand next to each other, I’d appreciate it, and take a picture for proof, sunglasses.” He said. He saw John’s mouth twitch at the nickname the man gave Dave, but he hurried to take a picture of Kanaya and this ‘Eridan’ guy. Then, he remembered that she may not appear in the photo.

“Actually? I think I’ll use my cell phone.” Dave said, immediately pulling out the device instead. The man seemed surprised by the change, but didn’t say anything. Vampires and cameras didn’t work, but usually they showed up in cell phone photos. The other person on their tour of eight looked at him, a frown settling on his face.

“W-Why? You’vwe got a perfectly functionin’ camera right there.” He said, and Dave thought of a lie.

“I. uh, want to put them on social media. Yeah.” Dave said, ant the tourguide spoke up.

“Great! Be sure to add at mystery spot CA, or pound sign mystery spot CA to your ‘post’.” He said, and Dave agreed.

“Sure.” Of course, he had no social media accounts to speak of.  The last time he tried anything of the caliber was facebook, and John, Rose and Jade all tricked him into revealing his embarrassing, twelve year old password. He decided against social media after that. Eridan crossed his arms, and Kanaya offered the phone a smile. The tips of her teeth poked from the edge of her lips, but no one would really notice unless they were trained to look for it. That said, Dave didn’t notice and took the picture. Kanaya towered above Eridan, as expexted.

“Okay, I took one.” Dave said, and the man nodded.

“Good. Now, we’ll have to do a little more walking before the effects grow apparent, but trust me, it’ll knock your socks off. We’ll pass by another waterfall or two, and this patch of mushrooms actually looks pretty nice. Don’t touch ‘em, but you may want a picture for the post cards or something. Anyway, moving right along, folks.” They stopped at various intervals, and the man asked Dave to take Kanaya and Eridan’s picture at every stop. “Now, we’re getting really close to the real mystery stop.  Can we have Eridan and Kanaya stand next to each other again? Equal ground too, no hills.” He said, and they stood next to each other. “Good. Now, take one last picture, please.” He said, and Dave did. They looked normal enough. “Okay, you can go through the ones you took before, right? Check them out, starting from the first one.” He said, and Dave went to the gallery and hit the first one. He clicked on it- normal. Then he scrolled to the next one- normal. He looked through all of them.

“I don’t get it, what’s the big deal?” He asked, and the man grinned.

“Patience, young one. Now, pull up the first picture and the last one you took. Put them together on the screen.” He said, and Dave managed to do it- then he looked at it in surprise.

“Wait, what the heck?” He asked, and the man grinned triumphantly.

“Show it off to the other people in the group.” Somehow, as they got closer to the ‘actual mystery spot’, the height differences between the two changed. Kanaya and Eridan were almost at the same height now- in fact, the tips of Eridan’s hair soared over Kanaya’s.  Rose saw it, and looked at the guide.

“Wow, it’s phenomenal.” She said, and he grinned.

“You bet it is. The area’s filled with some weird supernatural stuff. It changes heights, proportions, and definitely makes you feel a little off balanced. I hope no one’s feeling dizzy. Anyway, this was the best way I could use to lead up to our real attraction- The Mystery Spot. Step inside here folks, you’ll see what I mean. Back in the older days, before the settlers arrived, the Wappo tribe of Native Americans called this place forbidden ground. They say the laws of physics and gravity don’t apply here. I know, it’s suspicious, but if you step inside I’ll prove it.”

The second they walked in, John looked down and stumbled. He was standing on a ledge and he felt like he was going to fall, but he stood normally.

“Woah!” He said, and the man nodded at him.

“As you can see here, you’re standing on a ledge, but you can balance just fine. Seriously, we’re all diagonal over here. If that’s not enough to convince you, check out some more cool stuff, right through this door to the outside. Now, does water flow upwards, or towards the ground?” The guy that came with Eridan raised an eyebrow. They all seemed reluctant to answer, and the man laughed. “Hey, hey. It’s not a trick question folks.”

“It falls. Gravity makes it fall. Wve sawv vwaterfalls on the wvay here, chief.” He said, incorporating his weird accent, and the man nodded.

“Good, good. Someone passed first grade.” It earned a small laugh from Eridan, and the man continued the tour. “Now, feel free to take a picture, and send this to your first grade teacher. If you’ll follow me, you can see something pretty incredible.” John’s dad saw it first, and he immediately moved to take a picture.

“That’s incredible, how does it work?” Water flowed up a little hill, instead of flowing downwards. They could see it, and even touch it to feel the current. The man laughed.

“I told you, physics don’t apply as much here. Feast your eyes everyone! It’s not a geyser, and we’re clearly not using any of those new fangled electronics.  People have said it’s a weak spot in our dimension, other people say it’s paranormal activity. Personally? I think it’s the work of something supernatural, but I’ll leave you all to draw your own conclusions. Now, if you walk over here…” He showed them a few more things, then allowed the people to explore for themselves.

Dave and John walked over to one area, and the Roxy offered to take their picture with her phone. John appeared tilted sideways, while Dave hung perilously off some ledge. The guy that came with Eridan asked for the pictures Dave took, and Dave (with some surprisingly good reception in the forest) texted them to him. They took a ton of photos there, and stood in a variety of poses. At one point, Rose made her way over to Kanaya.

“Kanaya, you seem tense. What’s wrong?” She asked, and Kanaya turned in surprise, as if she’d been caught.

“Oh Rose! I’m fine. Really, I’m just wondering how this place works. Surely, the supernatural would have no reason to interfere here.” She said, and Rose nodded.

“I’ve done research on a place like this once- the Oregon Vortex. They made a lovely kid’s show that was loosely based on the area, but besides that, it’s more of an optical illusion. Is that really what was bothering you?” she asked, and Kanya sighed.

“Really Rose, I’m fine. In fact, I’m having a wonderful time here- even if it is an optical illusion, it’s quite entertaining. Did you take a picture on the ledge?”She asked, and Rose raised an eyebrow at her.

“I did. You’re sure you’re okay?” She asked, and Kanaya’s eyes flashed to the side. Before she could even answer, Rose knew. “Is this the same issue that you had in the car?”She asked, and Kanaya sighed, then offered her a small smile.

“I can’t hide anything from you.”

“You should have stopped trying ages ago. Tell me what’s wrong?” She asked, and Kanaya looked around. No one seemed to be paying much attention to them. They were pretty much out of earshot of anyone else in the area, and despite a sharp gasp from Roxy, who thought she’d fall, nothing drew their attention.

“It’s this moon that’s coming- the pink moon. I know its affects on vampires, like me. I’m worried that you won’t be safe.” She added. Rose put a hand on her arm.

“Kanaya, please don’t feel worried. You’ve had years of practice with this. And even if you didn’t, I trust you. It’s just one night, Kanaya. We can keep you out of the moonlight, and you’ll be fine.” She said, reassuringly. Kanaya looked down.

“But, the moon – what if I were to hurt you? I would never forgive myself if…” She trailed off, and Rose grabbed her hand in an attempt to assure her.

“Kanaya. Look at me.” She said. Kanaya met Rose’s eyes, and the blonde made sure she understood her. “I know you’re worried. But we’re taking preventive measures, and I know you’d never hurt me. When I invited you on this trip, it was because I knew that I could trust you. Even if you doubt yourself, Kanaya, I don’t doubt you. I have the utmost faith that everything will be alright, so don’t worry about me. I can handle myself, and I know you can handle yourself as well. You will be fine. Okay?” She asked, and Kanaya sighed, then smiled gratefully.

“Okay.” She said. The blonde smiled at her.

“Good.” Rose noticed Eridan standing a little closer to them than before, but if he’d been listening, he didn’t make it apparent. He seemed to focus on some part of the attraction, and Kanaya felt a little tension in her shoulders leave. Really, they shouldn’t have talked about this whole vampire/werewolf thing so much in public. Even if all of their closest friends were safe, the possibility of running into a hunter was a daunting one. They wanted to continue talking, but the tour guide led them elsewhere. They saw more paranormal, strange optical illusions for a while, until they had to step outside again. The kart was waiting for them, along with a girl. She sat next to the tour guide, and they began the drive back to the entrance and gift shop.

“Thanks for visiting the mystery spot, people! And be sure to check out our gift shop as you go.” They had a few things around the area, and John got a T- Shirt. They sold hats, and Dave purchased one for Dirk. Rose bought Kanaya a necklace, and Kanaya bought Rose the book they sold in the shop. The other two people from the tour milled around the area as well. They gave the tour guide a tip, and he thanked them. As they shuffled out, Dave noticed something that seemed minor. Eridan, the boy from the photo that picked up the litter, looked at the guy that appeared to be an older version of him. They were either parent and child or siblings. He whispered something in his ear, and the man’s gaze fixated on Kanaya with a glare, before Eridan swatted him. They seemed to argue a little, and Dave turned his head back around before they could notice him staring. The blonde shook off the strange occurrence, and walked out of the door.

_______________-

AN: I know how to end chapters. Definitely. Totally. No seriously not at all. Also, I may have stolen Stan from the mystery shack here, but it’s fan fiction so… eh. He’s really just a stand in for any tourist trapper. Oh, and the Mystery Spot is a real place in California! It’s supposed to be like the Oregon vortex. I’ve never been to either, so if anyone has, tell me how I did with writing!

Thanks for sticking with this so long. It definitely will finish before 150 chapters. Really, this went on much longer than I ever expected,( I was thinking this would be 20 chapters when I started. Ha. Ha. Ha.) and it’s been a crazy venture. I can’t wait to get some feedback!

And, for the question: What would Karkat be in Gravity Falls? If any of you guys have seen it (especially with Journal 3’s Barnes and Noble release, or the conclusion of the series, or THE CIPHER HUNT) you’d know that it’s a fun, fast paced children’s show about two kids’ summer in Oregon, and all the crazy supernatural stuff they see there. There’s gnomes, shape shifters, vampires and zombies, then everything in between. Really, it’s a cool show. So, would Karkat be one of the main characters? Some supernatural being from journal 3? Even Tad Strange? Let me know in the reviews!

JAFNF Chapter 107

(Wednesday, April 28)

It was a day before the full moon. John and Dave stood next to each other, and behind a few other people in line. They dressed in shorts and T- Shirts, because it was hot that day. John’s father stood behind them. He held their tickets in hand, and they stood in the sun, prepared to enter the boardwalk. Roxy was practically bouncing with excitement, and Rose showed her enthusiasm in her own way. John’s grin stretched from ear to ear, and he rocked on the heels of his flip flops.

“Okay, but what are we doing last? I know what we’ll do first, but what’s the last thing we’re going to try?” Dave asked. Though he was talking to John, Roxy broke in.

“We should all meet up at the Ferris wheel! The moon’s not going to be a problem for you two, right?” Roxy asked, and Dave looked at her.

“We’ll be okay. It’s not full tonight anyway.” He said, and Kanaya nodded in agreement.

“Yes, I will be fine. However, the Ferris wheel sounds like a lovely idea.” She said, and Dad broke in.

“Okay then, looks like we’ll be splitting up for a little. We can text to meet up at the wheel when we’re ready.” He said. The man offered them money for food, gave them the tickets, and they were off in the boardwalk area. Roxy immediately pulled Jacob away for a ride involving G forces. Rose and Kanaya went off to try the ‘haunted castle’, and Dave looked down at the map he’d pulled up on his phone.

“Want to try the bumper car thing?” Dave asked, and he went off to do it. They waited in a short line, then fell into their separate cars. Dave smirked as he chose the blue one, while John jumped in the red. Other people were there as well, but the two managed to focus on each other. Dave hit John’s car with full speed, and it sent him tumbling into the cars of people behind him with a laugh. After a little more bumping each other the ride ended, and they climbed out to try more.

“Ooh, there’s one called wipeout! Can we try it?” John’s question was all it took, and they were off to try the ride. Most of it was dark, but Dave could see through his sunglasses. In an instant, they were tumbling through the darkness while the beach boys blasted in the background. After they left, it was Dave’s turn to choose an activity. The blonde pulled John from their streak of thrill rides by getting on a carousel ‘ironically’, and took pictures of himself on the ride. His brother would appreciate the horses. John said the ride was lame, but Dave argued that it was great because of how lame it was. Irony aside, it was John’s turn to pick, and he chose the largest roller coaster they could find.

As he and Dave stood in line for the big dipper, the blonde took a look at the ride.

“Egbert, are you absolutely certain that this roller coaster needs to be included in our list of things we’ve done today?” He asked, and John smirked.

“Scared, Dave?” He asked, and Dave put his hands on his face.

“Oh, I am absolutely terrified. This giant ass roller coaster is making me quake in my fucking boots, it’s the big bad wolf and I’m little red.” John snorted.

“Actually, it’s the big dipper. But worry not, I’ll protect you from the big bad roller coaster, Dave.” He said, puffing out his chest. Dave tried to keep himself from laughing. It was to no avail though, by the time he responded chuckles already escaped from the confines of his mouth.

“Really? My hero!” he said, then laughed. “But how will you protect me from the roller coaster, it’s so terrifying!” He said jokingly and John responded with a teasing lilt in his tone.

“Will holding my hand make it better?” He asked, and though he was teasing, Dave jumped at the opportunity.

“Yes. Please let me hold your hand so that the big, scary roller coaster doesn’t kill me.” Dave said, and John snorted.

“Wow Dave. Wow.”

“I’m waiting.” He responded, and John laughed. He offered his friend his hand, and Dave held it willingly.

“Feel better?” John asked, and Dave smirked.

“The amounts of better I fell are the most hellaciously high things that have hit the planet. Higher than people in Colarado on 4/20. Higher than the Google search trends for porn. Higher than those people with the poles that jump over the sticks jump. This is the amount of betterness that I now maintain since the addition of your hand in mine.” Dave said, and John shook his head.

“Wow, Dave. I have no words.” Dave nodded.

“I tend to have that affect on people. Don’t worry, it only lasts until I turn my swag off at night.” John rolled his eyes.

“Good to know it’s not permanent. I’d hate for my arm to get glued to you here.” John said, and Dave only laughed again.

“Yeah. I mean, it would be hard to do stuff if our hands were glued together.” Dave said, and John nodded.

“Okay, but what if we were attached twins, but were only attached by the hands?” John asked, and Dave smirked.

“Then that would suck ass for our mom. But they’d probabky separate us.” Dave said, and John rolled his eyes.

“Well yeah, I know. But like, if they didn’t and we were just attached at the hand. Wearing shirts would be really hard.” John said, and Dave nodded.

“Yeah, and I wouldn’t be able to skateboard, with a nerd dragging me down.” Dave said, and John rolled his eyes.

“Dragging you down? Dave, I remember that one video you sent me of you skating in fifth grade, and let me tell you- I think you’re dragging yourself down here man. Do you still do it?” John asked, and Dave shrugged.

“Solid burn, Egbert. And about that, sometimes? Not since we moved here, I’ve never actually had a place to do it. Wait, we could be roller skaters. And just plow all the other skaters out of the way. We’d just roll around there, shirtless, and be skating pros.” Dave said, and John smiled at the thought.

“I’m pretty sure we’d get kicked out first. But then I couldn’t play piano.” John said, and Dave shrugged.

“I could probably force myself to sit through you banging away at the keys and operating as your other hand. It would be torture though.” Dave said, and John rolled his eyes.

“Force yourself? Harsh, Dave. Maybe I should take my hand back and let you suffer.” He said, and Dave put a hand on his head, as if he were prepared to faint.

“Oh goodness, anything but that!” The blonde said. John nodded in satisfaction.

“That’s right, think about the concequences of your actions.” John said, and Dave nodded.

“Okay,so say I decided to tell you that I haven’t washed my hands since before breakfast when I touched my maple syrup and picked up some garbage on the ground…”

“Eww, what! Dave!” He pulled his hand back, and the blonde smirked.

“So that’s how you’d react. Well, good to know. I didn’t, by the way.” He said, and John looked at him suspiciously.

“Really?” he asked, and Dave nodded. John looked at him. “Douche.” John said, and Dave smirked.

“While I’m all for being called a shower in French, and I certainly fit the English definition too, you should know that I’m not just some ordinary douche walking around, John.” He said, and John raised an eyebrow.

“Oh, why? Because you’re the coolest douche?” John asked, and Dave smirked.

“No. Well, yes, but that’s not the only reason. I’ve been placed in a position of some high ass importance. Apparently, I’ve managed to become more than just a douche. I’m your douche.” He said, and John grinned.

“Yep, pretty much. You’re my douche bag of a best friend alright. Why else would you latch onto my hand like it’s a lifesaver?” John asked, and Dave grinned.

“Duh, Egbert. Because I fucking love you.” He said. The blonde already knew how John would take the statement. Of course he’d only think of it s friend love. Not to say that Dave didn’t love John as his best friend, he just happened to sort of be in love with him too. John laughed.

“I know. I love you too. I’m pretty sure we have like, the coolest platonic bro love dynamic that’s ever existed.” John said, and Dave smirked, ignoring how friend zone-y that sounded. Because that’s where they were, in the friend zone. They were also close to where they’d board the roller coaster. The operator’s stand was near them, and they’d probably be able to get on after a ride or two.

“That’s right, the entire world should know it. I will fist bump you into the sunset and fight over shotgun every day if that’s what you want. I will proclaim our epic bromance to the heavens in a burning haze of glory.” John smirked.

“Really? You’d do that right now? Just run in and scream about how cool we are because we’re best friends. Because, you know, I kind of doubt that you would.” John said, and Dave shrugged.

“Yeah. I would. Do you want me to?” Dave asked, and John looked at him.

“No. I know you wouldn’t do it anyway.” Dave smirked.

“Perfect, I’m doing it.” John looked at him disbelievingly.

“Dave, you wouldn’t.” John said, but Dave nodded.

“Nope, it’s happening.”

“Don’t you dare!” Dave only smirked, and John felt the blood pool in his face.

“Dave! I will never forgive you if you stand here and shout at all of these people, I swear-” John said desperately, and Dave looked at him. He saw something that made him smirk.

“Don’t worry Egbert, I’m not going to shout at all of these people.” He said, and John was relieved.

“Oh good, for a second there, I actually thought- Dave, where are you going?” The blonde hopped out of line and walked near the end, where a megaphone with a safety siren sat.

“Hi, can I borrow this for a second? I’ll be quick.” He said, looking to the machine’s operator. She looked at him.

“You’re not going to like, cuss or fart right?” She asked, and he shook his head.

“No, I have a really important message that the world needs to know. I am dealing with a crisis of faith here.” The woman looked at him for a second, then shrugged.

“Alright, just this once.” Dave let out a shit eating grin, and John paused when he saw what his friend was holding. He wouldn’t-

“Thank you.” He put his hand up to the megaphone, and spoke into it. “Attention, Everyone! I have  an extremely important message that I want to share with all of you.” Dave said, and John put his hands over his face. People were looking in their direction. “It is absolutely necessary for me to talk about how awesome my best friend is, in the most publicly embarrassing way possible.”

“Why.” John said, looking at his best friend in horror. Dave only smirked.

“Because, I love you, John.” He pointed at his bucktoothed friend. “The kid right here is John, and though he is attempting to keel over and die, I refuse to let him. I am currently addressing a crisis of faith, because he doesn’t think that I’ll announce how amazing he is to the world, but he’s really wrong about that. So, I’m here to prove it. He is amazing and wonderful, and also the only reason why I am physically in this area right now. I love him more than anything, and he is an amazing, incredible person. Even when he covers his face with his hands and attempts to blend into the tape for the waiting line- which isn’t working at all by the way, but it’s pretty cute that he’s trying, he is still my favorite person in the world. John is the best best friend that’s ever been in the business of friending people, and I just want everyone to know how much I appreciate him. Seriously, he’s the reason why I wake up in the morning. Thank you for being one of the most fantastic influences on my life, and my friend for years, John.  I’d like to keep talking, but I think our ride is here. Also, thank you to this wonderful person who let me use this megaphone. What’s your name- Melanie? Okay, Melanie here is awesome. Thanks. The end.”

He handed the microphone back to the woman, who looked touched.  The roller coaster was indeed present, and John walked onto it with embarrassment on his features.  People clapped, and Dave took his place beside the boy. John didn’t talk to him for an entire minute, and Dave grinned the whole time. John finally sighed, and looked at his friend.

“Dave, you are such a butthole.” He said, and the blonde smirked.

“Yeah, your butthole.” He said, and the roller coaster took off. After a dangerous yet fun series of rizing, loops, turns and falls, the rollercoaster ride stopped. “Ladies first.” He said teasingly, and John rolled his eyes at the words.

“Shut up.”  Dave and John both exited their cart, and they overheard two girls behind them.

“See, that’s like, goals there. This is beautiful.” One said, and the other responded.

“Hey, why don’t we not talk about people within earshot? But you’re right, that’s totally goals.” Dave grinned as he heard the words, and John smiled but shoved him anyway. They went off to do more rides that day, and the two enjoyed most of them. They stopped for food after trying the ride that was like a glider, and John seemed to enjoy that one a lot. Dave selected a free fall ride, and stared at John the entire time. They ran into Roxy and Jacob at one point, who only waved at them.

The two tried a few more rides. They ranged from a higher action take on the Ferris wheel to some rock and roll themed go kart thing. Hours passed, and it started to get dark. They spent a while messing around in Neptune’s arcade, then went out to go to hit a few more rides. They did the classic pirate ship, that left them using pirate accents for rides afterwards, and tried a few slower rides too. Dave dragged John into the tunnel of love, where John wanted nothing more than to die. He held Dave’s hand again for reasons Dave promised were ironic, and John believed him. Their day at the boardwalk was due to end soon, and they knew they needed to meet Jacob and Roxy soon at the Ferris wheel. They decided to see what prizes were there, and both agreed that they both wanted the biggest plush thing in the area. They entered a competition to win it. Dave attempted throwing things in cups at first, with the idea to win it for John, but he sucked and John tried afterwards.

Neither of them could do it, so they moved to the only other thing that would win them the prize. It was a sledgehammer hitting thing, and Dave tried it first. He got nowhere near the top, and John cracked his knuckles to try after him. He felt the item in his hand, and switched his grip around the stick for a second, before he knew what he’d do. In an instant, John backed up, then ran towards the machine. At the last second he jumped with the item in hand. Instead of bringing down either of the usual sides of the mallet, he slammed it down by the top, leaving the hammer to come down vertically so he could push his weight onto it.

The machine didn’t stand a chance. The second the hammer made contact it soared up past halfway, and by adding his weight to it, John made the disk inside the game machine sail perfectly to the top and trigger the sound that won him the prize. The people watching him looked surprised, and John grinned, then gave Dave a thumbs up.

“Wow, Kid. That was something.” The person that watched him said, and John offered him a sheepish grin.

“Thanks.” He said, and the man looked down at the boy. He reached into a podium and grabbed a small ticket, then handed it to John.

“Here.” He said. “You can give this to the master prize guy, and get anything.” John grinned. He looked back at Dave, and the two walked over to the gigantic prize giving area. They waited in line for a few minutes, and finally, they reached the counter. One teenager worked there, and John looked up at him.

“Hi! What’s the biggest plush thing you guys have?” He asked, and he looked at John, and thought about it.

“Uh, I’m pretty sure it’s the giant peanut butter jelly banana. It’s probably bigger than you.” He said, and John beamed.

“I want that.” He showed off his ticket and handed John the item, which was indeed bigger than him. “Thank you!” He said, and John held his prize in triumph. He smirked at his best friend. “I totally won by the way.” John said, and the blonde looked at him.

“Did you really though? I don’t know how you’re going to carry that thing around this place. It literally is bigger than you.” Dave responded, and John grinned.

“Jealous, Strider?”

“No.” John smirked.

“Then, you can hold it for me. We’ll get Kanaya to help later.” He said, handing the prize to his friend. “Actually, you should keep it. I know you need someone to hold you at night.” John teased, and Dave looked at him.

“Seriously? John, this is yours.” John looked at him.

“Hey, how else are you supposed to remember my amazing victory? I was trying to get it for you anyway.” John said, and Dave felt touched by the words.

“Nah man, I don’t want to rob you of this beautiful banana. And hey, I’m pretty sure you need something to hold at night too- besides that Nic Cage thing you cuddle with.” John looked embarrassed.

“I do not!” He said, and Dave looked at him. They sat in silence for a second. “… How did you know?” John asked, and it scored a laugh from Dave.

“Your dad told me.”

“What?!” Before John could respond, they received matching buzzes on their phones. Dave reached to take his out, and read the message.

“Hey man, it’s late. We have to go over to the wheel now, Kanaya and Rose are already there.” He said, and John nodded. From then on, Dave held the banana while John led him through the crowd, and apologized for the banana. When they arrived, Roxy and Jacob were in line with Kanaya and Rose.

“Hi, guys!” John announced, and Roxy turned to see him. She gawked at the giant banana in Dave’s hand.

“Woah, hey you two. Dave, did you win that somewhere?” he asked, and John grinned proudly.

“Nope! I got it for Dave because he’s a lonely butt that needs someone to hold at night.” John said proudly, and while Jacob looked impressed, Rose snorted.

“Tell the truth John, you only gave it to him because you already have the Cage bunny.” She said, and looked at him. “I know you cuddle that thing, John.” She said, and Kanaya and Dave laughed, while John looked at his father.

“Did you tell everyone?” He asked, and he put a hand on his chin.

“Actually, I haven’t told that one guy at work, but-”

“Dad!” The man smiled.

“I’m just teasing, Johnathan. Congratulations though, I can’t imagine what you had to do to get that.” He said, and Roxy broke in.

“I can. It was the hammer thing, right? Some stranger filmed it and it showed up on my vine.” She said, and John walked over to her.

“No way!” She tapped the video, and it showed John leaping into the air and using the hammer. “Cool.” He said, and Dave smirked.

“John, are you going to forget me now that you’re internet famous?” He asked, and John looked back at him teasingly.

“Hey, now you have something to remember me with.” John teased, and Dave looked at him.

“Right, when I think of John I’ll get the peanut butter Jelly song in my head. Thanks.” He said, and John winked.

“That’s what I’m here for.” John turned to his dad. “Do you think they’ll let me bring the banana on?” He asked his dad, and the man shrugged.

“They allow food, this probably won’t be too bad. He said, and John shrugged. It turns out that they did let it on, and John used it as a comfy pillow for both he and Dave to sit on. As their ride started, John let his hand sit on the banana comfortably. Dave leaned against the side of the wheel, and the ride spun off. “Hey, this is the second Ferris wheel we’ve done together! You think we’ll do another soon?” John asked, and Dave smirked.

“Yeah, why the fuck not? We can just book mark every wheel we’ve been on, everywhere. That would actually be as cool as fuck.” Dave said, and John’s eyes brightened.

“Yeah! We should get a map of every Ferris wheel in America, and just bookmark them when we go on them- that would be so cool.” John said, and Dave smirked.

“Definitely. Actually, let’s just do it when we get home.” John looked at him.

“It’s done.” John said.

“This is pretty relaxing.” Dave looked out at the area around him. He took a picture.

“It is. I see why people go on dates here.” John said, and Dave felt heat enter his cheeks. It sucked that John didn’t realize what he did to his friend. Dave looked at him out of the corner of his sunglasses, and John’s eyes weren’t on his.  He noticed his hand, tantalizingly close, and Dave wanted to hold John’s hand again. It felt secure when he was liked to John, and he liked that.

“Yeah. The beach is beautiful at night.” Dave commented, and John looked at him.

“Not as beautiful as you, babe.” He said, making his voice husky. Dave rolled his eyes at the tone, butt flashed his friend a smirk.

“Yeah, I know.” He responded cockily, and it earned a chuckle from John. Still, he looked at him seriously.

“You should.” John’s next words came out as half a sigh, and like a murmur. “You’re wonderful.” John said the words to himself, and Dave felt his heart speed up because John usually did not give him compliments like that. He took a deep breath, and played it cool.

“Not really.” He responded, and John looked over at him, surprised.

“What? I zoned out. Sorry, it’s the view.” John said, and Dave looked at him in surprise. So, he hadn’t meant to say it then?

“That’s cool, no big deal. What are you thinking about?”He asked, and John looked out at the ocean around them again.

“You.” He said, and Dave looked at him carefully.

“Anything specific?” He asked. “You know, I’m right here.” Dave said, and John looked over at him, then looked down.

“Uh, nothing.” He said, and Dave’s eyebrows raised.

“What… was it bad? Did I do something?” The blonde asked, and John actually looked surprised.

“What? No, of course not Dave. I was just- okay, don’t laugh. Promise you won’t laugh.” Dave looked at him.

“I don’t know Egbert, you do tend to make me do that.” John gave him a look. “Fine, I won’t.” John looked relieved.

“I was just thinking about how cool you are.” John admitted, and Dave looked at him.

“Really?” He asked, and John looked down shyly.

“Yeah.” He responded, and Dave looked at him.

“You said I was wonderful earlier- Did you mean that?” He asked, and John looked at him shyly.

“I did. I mean, I didn’t mean to say it, but it’s true. You’re incredible, really.” John said, looking down. “It just makes me wonder- actually, never mind.” John said, and Dave looked at him seriously.

“Wonder what?” He asked, and John stayed silent. “John, wonder what?” He asked again, and John looked at him.

“Dave it’s not a big deal.” John said, and Dave looked at him.

“Clearly it is.” The blonde adjusted his sunglasses, then frowned. In an instant they were off, and he looked at John, seriousness etched in his features. “John, wonder what?” He asked, and John sighed.

“Why you like me. You said all of that today and I just got embarrassed- why do you like me so much, no one else would do that for me. At that point, I wasn’t even sure that I would do it for you. I just don’t get why I’m so worth liking to you. While I thought you were trying to murder me, you were saving me. I just don’t get what makes you think I’m so special. You’re like this complicated, mysterious guy that I’ve been best friends with for years, and it wasn’t until his week that I found out you liked photography. Meanwhile, I’m like an open book, you’ve read to the end of me. There’s nothing more to find out of John Egbert, no secrets to uncover to keep things interesting- so why are you still interested?” John asked, and Dave was surprised at the question, to say the least. Why he liked John? He felt like it was obvious. Everyone liked John. He could give him a list- he planned to give him a list! He was sitting on something John won for him at that moment, and this kid still wondered why he liked him?

“You… don’t know why I like you?” Dave asked, looking at his friend. “Wait, for real?” He asked, his voice disbelieving. John didn’t deny it. “John, how could I not?” He asked, his voice growing a little incredulous. “You’re… everything to me.” He said and John looked at him.

“Why?” He asked him. “I don’t understand, how?” John asked, and Dave looked at him seriously.

“John, you’re my best friend in the world. I never feel more like me than when I’m with you- how can you not see that?” John looked down at the question, and sighed.

“It’s just that you’re so interesting. I’ve known you for six years and I’m still learning new things about you. There’s always something new to explore when I see you, you know? There’s never anything new with me, it’s always just… me.” John said, leaning on the side of the Ferris wheel. Dave look at him, mystified.

“But that’s what’s so great about you.” The words made John look back at him. “Or, one of the things, I should say. You don’t have to keep parts of yourself hidden to stay interesting. You’re stable- I like that. You’re the one thing that stays the same, when everything changes.” He admitted, and the question, to expand on what he meant, was clear. Dave let out a sigh. “I’ve been to California before. And, pretty much everywhere in the continental US, and a few places outside of it. Since I was a baby, Dirk and I would move from apartment to apartment, and from place to place. We were always on the run, from hunters, or whatever else.” John looked at him suddenly. This conversation was getting really personal for Dave, and John realized it. He needed to make sure Dave didn’t go too far on accident, especially just to ease his stupid insecurities.

“Dave, you don’t have to-” John started, but Dave cut him off with a wiry smile.

“No, it’s okay. I want you to know this.” He said, and John nodded, then listened intently. The blonde took a deep breath. “There was nothing that ever stayed the same in my life. Everything was about being random- from the strifes, to the moving around, or even my weird ass education. Even Dirk wasn’t constant- I never knew when Bro would be back home, or when we’d have to move again, or if I would be slowly dissolved in a vat of water the next morning. Nothing stayed the same in my life, ever. Until I met you. You didn’t drift away, you were always there. I would send you a pesterchum, and you would answer. That was a constant in my life. You were the constant in my life.”

Dave took a breath, and looked up. John watched his best friend, stariring right at those soul sucking red eyes. If Dave could feel his stairing, he didn’t show it. A small smile grew on his face.

“I remember our first fight. We were both eleven, and we were mad about something involving Rose and Jade. Do you?” He asked, and John recalled it immediately.

“Yeah. You said that if Rose met me, she’d know how much of an ass I am, and I said that Jade would call you ugly if she saw you in person. That was so stupid.” John provided, and Dave looked over at him.

“I know. But I was so angry that I said I wouldn’t talk to you again, and you tried to text me and say sorry. Of course, I was still pissed and I didn’t say anything, and you said that if I didn’t respond in the next day you would never talk to me again. I waited for two days before realizing how stupid I was being, and I finally said something back. You didn’t say anything for a few days and I freaked out. I was such a mess.” John looked up at him and laughed a little.

“Honestly? I was too. I guess I wanted some payback, for you not responding first. You know I’d already forgiven you though, right?” John asked, and Dave looked at him. The ferris wheel finally stopped moving, to sit at the top position.

“I know. But I fell apart. You were like, the one solid thing that stayed in my life, and I thought I ruined that forever. Those days when you didn’t say anything were hell.” Dave said, and looked away from John again. “You’re constant. I needed that, for years. So of course, I like you. How could I not?” He asked him again, and John looked at his friend. He couldn’t figure out how to show how much the blonde’s words meant to him. The shorter of the two moved his hand atop Dave’s, and they were silent for a little bit.

“Dave… thank you.” He said finally, and Dave looked back at John. He squeezed John’s hand.

“Thank you, John.” He said instead, and a loud sound made them look back towards the view of the sky. Someone was doing fireworks over the beach, and they could see them clearly from their position atop the wheel. Dave and John scooted closer to each other on their giant banana, and the blonde laid his head down on his friend. John was at the perfect height for him to rest his head on the boy comfortably, and John, in turn, pushed his head into Dave’s chest. They spent the rest of the ride in silence, and both felt an assured sort of peace as they looked at the exploding sky around them.

_______________________-

JAFNF Chapter 108

(Thursday, April 29 th )

The day of the pink moon finally arrived, and John woke up and stretched. He saw Dave sitting there, awake and dressed, and stairing at his phone. He had headphones covering his ears, and John snuck up behind him. He pulled them off Dave’s ears, and a surprised Dave turned around to be greeted by John.

“Egbert, what are you doing?” He asked, and John shrugged.

“Saying good morning. What you listening to?” John held the headphones in his hands, and Dave clearly covered his phone.

“Uh nothing.” He said, and John looked at him.

“What? I already know you downloaded that Reddit song about America being messed up, it was a little obvious. Is that it?” He asked, smirking at his best friend. Dave looked to the side.

“What? No, I- I don’t…” John gave him a look, and Dave looked to the side in embarrassment. “It’s not that!” He said defensively, leading John to snort at his words.

“Okay, whatever. I’m getting ready.” John said, and he ran off to the bathroom. Dave sighed and returned his attention to his phone. In an instant, he’d switched songs. After listening to a few more, John came out of the bathroom. He had shorts on and wore a t-shirt. Dave looked up, and John looked at him urgently. “Dave, have you seen my sweatshirt?” He asked, and Dave raised an eyebrow at him.

“Why do you need a sweatshirt? The plan today is still the beach, right?” He asked, and John nodded.

“I know, but we’re still going to go there, and I’ll need something to wear after…” He started, and Dave rolled his eyes.

“You can wear mine.” John’s eyes widened.

“What? I don’t need to- Dave, I’m fine.” He said, and Dave looked at him.

“Yeah, sure. Take the sweatshirt.” Dave picked it up from its convenient location next to him, and threw it at John. John caught it, and gave Dave a grateful smile.

“Thanks, Dave.” Dave looked back to the giant banana on his bed, and shrugged.

“It’s cool.” John went to the bathroom to put it on, for some reason, and came out clothed in red. He placed his phone in the pocket of the sweatshirt, and felt it vibrate. A message from Roxy detailed that they needed to come down for breakfast. In an instant, John and Dave left the room, and Dave definitely didn’t gawk at how good John looked in his clothes. No, not at all. He was seriously considering letting John ‘accidentally’ keep it for the rest of his life, just to get the chance to see his friend wear it. Something about seeing John in the too-big (so really, perfectly fitting) sweatshirt that belonged to Dave made the blonde’s heart speed up just a little.

John’s parents had taken to sitting at a table for two, leaving Rose, Kanaya, John and Dave to sit together as well. The four talked mildly throughout breakfast, and their subject drifted to the oncoming moon tonight.

“So, what exactly would happen to you two tonight, if, say, you were running around outside?” John asked, and Dave answered him.

“It’s not like we’re forced to undergo some transformation or anything. I guess it’s more along the lines of, like, suggestive hypnosis? So we wouldn’t do anything we couldn’t do. Just that certain things that probably wouldn’t be a good idea seem a lot more appealing during the moons. Like, take the worm moon. When I was younger, Dirk said he bought a ton of dirt for some reason, on the full moon. I took the bags he bought, threw them in a bathtub, and rolled around in it for an hour before falling asleep in there. I was pretty young though.” Dave said, and Rose raised an eyebrow at him.

“Actually, that sounds quite cute, if not somewhat difficult to clean.” Kanaya commented, and Dave looked at her.

“First, I’m not cute. Second, I think you’re one to talk, Kanaya. I’m sure you’ve done some weird stuff on the full moons too- and hey, I was a baby.” Dave added, and John looked at her with interest.

“Yeah, what weird things did you do, Kanaya?” He asked, eager for a story. The girl shrugged.

“For the most part, I’ve learned to control myself during these moons. After all, I did have the advantage of growing up in a pureblood home, and we had multiple contacts in the vampire community.” Dave looked at her.

“What? Boo, there has to be something, Kanaya.” Dave said, and John agreed with him.

“Yeah, I’d share my embarrassing vampire childhood any time!” John said ecstatically, and Kanaya sighed.

“Well, there was one thing. During the strawberry moon, I started attempting to convert using strawberries. But, strawberry juice is not an appropriate substitute for blood, and certainly not the type of fluid I should have had flowing through my teeth.” Kanaya commented, and Dave looked at her.

“Where did you even get that idea? That’s like, terrible.” Kanaya looked embarrassed for a second.

“One of my influences was a kids’ cartoon that recently premiered when I tried it. A character on the show sucked the color red out of things, including strawberries. With the moon impeding my judgment, I thought I would try it. It obviously didn’t turn out well.” Kanaya said, and Rose looked at her curiously.

“What happens when you do? I’m certain inserting sugar into your bloodstream isn’t a good idea in any situation, but what happened to you?”  Kanaya put a finger on her lip, in an intention to recall.

“Well, my mother found me and made me stop immediately. I believe I went to a hospital, and I know I fell unconscious for most of it. Actually, I probably could have died- but I digress. I’m fine now anyway- a fact I’m glad for.” She said, and John exchanged a glance with Rose. That wasn’t what he expected, but Rose turned towards Kanaya.

“I’m more than glad that you’re all right. So, what are tonight’s effects supposed to be?” She asked, and Dave answered for her.

“Glad you asked. Well, Pink and Rose moons generally deal in love, creativity, abundance and flowers. So, for a normal vampire, they usually get a little touchy feely in April, and they tend to have an attraction to pink flowers. So, a normal vampire under full moon light would probably call every person they’ve ever felt the slightest bit of attraction to and let them know how appreciated they are, or lie in a field of pink flowers, or some shit.” John smiled.

“Aww, that’s cute! What about purebloods?” John asked, and Kanaya answered for him.

“We get a little- I’m not entirely sure how to explain it. Obsessive may be a good description. It clouds our judgment, and boils down our emotions to their most carnal, basic points. Our teeth grow out all of the way, we can’t stop glowing, and I’m pretty sure our eyes get brighter. We can fight the urge to convert, of course, but we can act strangely. Of course, our judgment is clouded, so we typically don’t believe we’re doing anything out of the ordinary- and on that note, I apologize in advance for any comments I make toward you that you may deem inappropriate, Rose. Hopefully, if the moonlight doesn’t touch us, we should be fine.” Kanaya said, and Rose nodded.

“Right, we’ll keep the curtains closed.” They finished breakfast with minimal conversation from there, and afterwards, John’s Dad walked over to them.

“Hey there, cool kids. You guys ready to head down to the b-b-beach?” The man asked, and John looked at him with horror on his face, while Kanaya tried to hide a laugh by smiling behind her hand. Dave let out a surprised little laugh, while Rose responded normally.

“Yes, I believe we’re prepared to go.” John’s face was in his hands at the words, but they drove off to the beach with (excessive) sunscreen in their bags, and every other beach supply two vampires and four humans would need. Once they arrived close enough to the sandy shore, they parked their car and carried their things onto the soft sand. A few people were there already, and while they all wore sandals or flip flops of different kinds, John was the only one that kept his sweatshirt on. He helped set up towels, while Dave got a post card ready shot of the ocean.

In minutes he felt the sun’s intensity, and the vampires hurried to throw SPF 50 on their bodies. With the relief of the sun protector on his skin, Dave watched John place an umbrella by their towels. He still wore Dave’s sweatshirt. Roxy hurriedly threw her clothes off, and put them down on her towel. She’d already covered herself in sunscreen, and proceeded to run and enter the water. The remaining people that went on the trip watched her, and she managed to pull off that slow motion lifeguard run. John watched her, blissfully unaware of her actions, while Kanaya focused on folding her regular attire. She bent over partially, not even cringing at the water’s sudden change in temperature. Dave’s head was turned towards her.

Rose saw the vampire’s expression. She knew it well- in an instant, she found what, or rather who he was looking at, and snorted. The younger blonde was almost certain that Roxy did it on purpose at first- it being, well, making other’s brains go into slow motion as they watched her cheesily attractive silhouette bounce against the waves, but now she just did it naturally. It drew attention from strangers and the ones who knew her alike, and Dave was no exception to her charms. To say that “she’s still got it” in her 30’s was an understatement. Roxy was a walking, talking, or- slow motion jogging, anyway, beach babe. She was hot, and everyone around her knew it. Back to a more prevalent topic- she now had a leg up on Dave Strider, and she did have something in mind that the boy could provide. After all, she’d resorted to asking Dave for this for months now, over text, and he still had yet to deliver. Now, she was sure she had some incentive for him to finish the little project she’d asked him to start.

“Dave! If you’re not too busy, could you please assist me with sunscreen application?” She asked, offering him a knowing smirk. While everyone else missed it, Rose clearly saw where Dave was looking. Still, how could you not? Dave felt his ears flush completely, and he quickly walked over to her.

“Sure, whatever.” Dave walked towards her, and Rose looked up at Dave.

“Oh, do you know when that song will be available? I’ve waited for quite some time now.” Dave groaned.

“Rose, I told you. Genius like mine takes time. I’m working on it, but I’ll give you your totally free, by the way, mixtape of borig ass classical guys hammering away at violins when it’s ready.” He said, and Rose looked at him, a smirk hitting her features.

“So there’s nothing I could do to, perhaps, speed up the process?” Rose asked, and Dvae shrugged.

“Can’t rush genius, Lalonde.” He said, and Rose gave a dramatic sigh.

“Really, what a shame! I suppose I’ll have to pass the time by doing something else- maybe talking to my lovely sister. I’m sure she’d be glad to know that those workout sessions are paying off, considering how many people’s eyes were glued to her today. I wonder how she’d react if I told her that a certain person in particular seemed to take interest in her f-”

“I will pay you to stop talking.” Dave said, his cheeks darkening, and Rose smirked.

“Hm, I are you positive there’s no way to speed up production?” Rose asked innocently, and Dave’s eyes narrowed.

“You- the whole point was- Rose, you’re the devil.”

“Look who’s talking. You know, I’ve always wondered why boys call each other’s moms attractive. Perhaps I should try it out with John sometime, or casually inform him of your opinions-”

“Motzart or Beethoven? You can choose whatever, and I will fucking make it if you never speak of this again.” He asked, and she smirked at him.

“I’m more of a Haydn fan actually- why don’t you mix two of them and give me the results? I know it’ll be great.” Dave glared at her.

“Lalonde, I will fucking kill you for this.” Dave said, and Rose waved a hand in the air flippantly.

“And hey, don’t hate the player, hate the game.  Buy my silence in music notes. Now, less talking, more sunscreen- just because I’m not a vampire, it dosen’t mean I can’t be at risk of cancer.” She said, and Dave put the sunscreen on his hands.

“Turn over. You will regret this.” Dave said, and Rose just laughed as she turned over. Dave’s glare turned into a smirk. Well, she deserved what was coming to her. He leaned over her, mimicking the feelings of putting sunscreen on her back, then adding an extra message inside.

“Jim Carrey is Dead.” He’d written in sunscreen, then tapped her on the shoulder.

“You’re all done, Rose. I will find a way to get back at you.” He said, challenge in his voice. She rolled her eyes.

“Sure you will.” Rose said, and Dave looked back to John. The rest of their party, including Mr. Egbert and Kanaya, had both moved to the shoreline to begin making a sandcastle. John sat on his towel, while Rose sat on her own and pulled out a book.  By now, Dave stood in all of his shirtless vampire glory, and he returned to his best friend.

“John, what are you doing? Why are all of your clothes still on?” He asked, and John’s eyes looked at him, a little nervously.

“You know, I just realized that there are no bathrooms here, or changing stalls.” John said, and Dave raised his eyebrows at him.

“What, did you not put your suit on underneath? I can’t imagine that my sweatshirt is that comfortable, even if it was worn by me.” Dave commented, and noticed a tinge of heat enter John’s cheeks. It could have just been the warm surrounding area though.

“No! I just… don’t want to take my clothes off in public.” John said, and Dave raised an eyebrow.

“John, you do see me standing here in all of my shirtless glory, right? I understand if you’re afraid of making girls drool over you, but really, we all face the problem now and then- at least, I do.” He said, and John looked at him.

“That’s definitely not it, and I don’t see anyone drooling. You know, unless they’re falling asleep from how boring you look.” John said slyly, and Dave put a hand over his heart.

“Ah, the sheer amount of savagery in that burn is killing me. We’re going to need to throw all of iceland’s cool supply on me to stop that burn. Call my family, tell them I can’t make it out of the war.” Dave said, collapsing on John’s towel. “John, I have to fall into the icy depths, titanic style, because you just burned me so hard.” John looked at him seriously, grabbing his best friend’s hand.

“Jack, I’ll never let go!” He said, and Dave laughed, but looked at John.

“Seriously though, you can just take it off. Literally no one will judge you, or give you a second thought.” John raised an eyebrow at him, casually letting go of his friend’s hands.

“Really? Not even all the girls supposedly drooling?” He asked, and Dave smirked.

“Oh, especially them. Trust me, no girl will touch you, Egbert.” He said, and John shoved him lightly.

“Shut up.”

“Sure, I’ll stop talking when you take off the warm clothes so you can actually enjoy yourself.” Dave said, and John rolled his eyes.

“Yeah, whatever.” John removed his shorts first, effectively showing off his blue swim trunks. All he wore now was a t-shirt and Dave’s sweatshirt, and as he took off the latter of the two, Dave whistled and pretend to spray money on him.

“Woo, Egbert. Take it off!” Dave shouted, and John laughed.

“Shut up Dave.”

“Nah, I have to make it rain for this thrill show over here, worth every dollar fucking bill. This is hot shit right here. It’s steamy nightclub potential, just remove that t-shirt and we’ll get you signed with your pimp boss. You can start performing immediately.”  Dave said, and John couldn’t control his giggles.

“Dave! I’m not a stripper.” Dave raised an eyebrow teasingly.

“You sure? You’re giving quite the show out here, you know. Did you invite me so that this could be the highlight, because wow, you are just a sex deity right now.” He said, and John eventually removed his shirt. “And off it goes, you’re already at a great start in your career as a performer. All you need now are some stilettos and a jock strap, you’ll be ready.” Dave said, and John rolled his eyes.

“Whatever. Let’s just go in the water, okay?” He asked, and Dave stood.

“Your wish is my command… but not without this!” He announced, picking up the floaties they’d brought. They were clearly designed for younger children, but Dave couldn’t find it within himself to care.

“Wait, you don’t know how to swim?” John asked, following Dave out towards the ocean.

“You kidding? I’m fucking discovering Atlantis out here in my amazing water wings, no shits about it.” John looked unimpressed. “Okay yes, I can swim! I’m doing this for irony’s sake, nerdbert.” He said, and John’s lips tugged upwards.

“Sure. That’s the reason. Well, let’s go do oceany stuff, the water looks clear.” John said, and he was right. The coastline was picturesque, and Dave walked right into the water. Kanaya and Dad’s sandcastle was coming in nicely. A few small children wandered over to the vampire, and she kindly included them in her castle building. For some reason, Kanaya always had a maternal air around her, and children always felt drawn to her. She happily accepted them, allowing a young girl to make a random modification or two, while a boy of a younger age hastily dug a mote. Dave looked back at Rose, who had her eyes lifted slightly above the book. If you didn’t know her, you’d say she was reading, but it was clear she was watching Kanaya. She had a fond, sort of wistful smile on her face, despite being quite the witch if necessary. Dave smirked when he thought about the message that would burn on her skin soon enough.

The blonde shifted his focus back to John, and Roxy stood over him with a hand defiantly on her hip.

“Well, finally you two are joining me out here! Dave, what’s with the wings? I know you can swim.” She said, and Dave shrugged.

“Oh, you know. I’m just riding the irony tide here, nothing new.” He said, and Roxy grinned.

“Really? Well, nice to have someone else out here that’s cool. Isn’t this beach just awesome? The water’s so clear.” She said, and she was right. They swam around in there for a while, until Roxy wandered back over to Jacob. After seeing a volleyball net, John suggested that they try beach volleyball. From there, Dave and John entered a fun, one vs one match. Dave had zero idea how to play, and the peak of John’s experience was middle school physical Education, so the game turned into an awkward amalgam of poorly done sets and sad excuses for spikes.

“Hi! Can we join you guys?” A voice called, startling John from attempting to hit the ball. Two girls around their age stood there, and John grinned.

“Sure! Should I switch sides, or-”

“Nah, it’s okay! We can split up, it’s cool.” Dave spoke up then, addressing one of the two teenaged girls.

“You sure? John here is really terrible at this.” He said, and John snorted.

“Sure, Mr. Water wings, you’re definitely qualified to judge my skill level.” John said defiantly, holding the ball under one arm. Dave smirked.

“Finally, he gets it. So, which one of you lucky ladies is joining the awesome side?” Dave asked, and John looked at him.

“Right, good thinking, Dave! We should put someone on my side first!” He retorted, and it spawned a little laugh from both girls. One eventually bounded over to Dave, while the other found her way to John’s side of the court. Dave’s side got to serve, and the blonde looked at the girl beside him.

“Hey, don’t freak out here or anything, but I may know absolutely nothing about this game. Like seriously nothing. You want to ‘serve’?” Dave asked, and the girl gladly took the ball from him.

“Thanks!” She hit it into the air of the other team’s side, and John jumped up to hit it back. Dave continued the trend, and after a few passes back and fourth, the ball fell on Dave’s side of the court. John put his hand up.

“High five, that was awesome!” John said, and the girl beside him hesitated for a second, then slapped his hand. The high five was sort of lame, and the girl offered that they try again.

“From the elbow this time.” She advised, and John nodded. It came out perfectly. Dave coughed.

“So, if you two are done celebrating your one point, we can continue any time now.” Dave said, and the girl next to Dave looked at him.

“Hey, don’t worry. Let them do it now- this is going to be the last opportunity they’ll get for victory high fives, right?” She said, and Dave smirked.

“I like the way you think. What’s your name?” He asked, and she grinned.

“Tori, nice to meet you.”

“Nice name. Good to meet you too, I’m Dave.” He said, and the girl on John’s team tapped her foot.

“Hey, Tori! You can get his number later! Come on, we still want to play!” She said, and John looked at Dave.

“Seriously, hurry up and serve!” John shouted.

“Don’t rush greatness.” Dave said, and he attempted to serve the ball. Unfortunately, he failed miserably, and John laughed. He winced, then turned his face towards the girl beside him. “Ouch, sorry. In case you’re wondering, I’ve never actually done this before.” The girl next to him gave him a reassuring smile.

“That’s totally okay! Try bending and extending your knees when you hit it, instead of moving your arms. Bend like, a squat, but not all the way.” She said, and Dave looked at her.

“You think it’ll work?” He asked, and She shrugged.

“Only one way to find out.” The game continued, and the ball came to Dave. The blonde tried to hit it, but he swung his arms too, and the item flew backwards. The girl on John’s team went off to get it, while John stood at the net.

“Dave, you stink at this.” John said, and Tori rose to defend the vampire.

“What? No, this is like, his first time.” Just then, Rose walked up to them, and John greeted her.

“Oh, Rose! You’ve finally decided to leave your nerd spot and hang out with us?” John asked, and Rose smirked, but shook her head.

“Hardly. Roxy wants you in the water again for something. She didn’t say what, but I’m sure it will be quick, if you could?” Rose asked, and John looked to Dave and the girl beside him. The girl on his team retuned, ball in hand. John looked at her apologetically.

“Oh, sorry. I have to go for a second, but I’ll be back. Maybe Rose can fill in for you?” John said, and she shrugged.

“I’m afraid not, John. I’ve reached a critical point in my novel, and I believe wizard battles are just a touch more exciting than volleyball. That said, I would love to return, if you’ll excuse me.” Rose turned around, and the girl with the beachball in her hands read the words on her back.

“Jim Carrey… is dead?” She asked her, confusion on her face. Rose turned around sharply.

“No, he is still living. That was just a stupid internet hoax, I assure you.” Rose said, and sighed. “Honestly, I don’t know where people find enjoyment in spreading such silly rumors. It’s horrendous.” She added, and the girl looked at her.

“Uh, no I know, but why did you put it on your back?” She asked, looking at Rose. “And how did you write it so clearly on your own back?” She added, and Rose looked at her in confusion.

“What?” She asked, and the girl walked over to her.

“Jim Carrey is dead… it’s sunburned into your- oh.” Dave couldn’t hide the growing smirk on his face, and at the sign of tension building, John took one look at Rose’s face and walked away. She was beyond saving from her anger at this point, and he didn’t want to be there when she murdered Dave. He’d be sure to give the vampire some red flowers on his grave.

“David, tell me you didn’t.”  Dave’s bemused expression didn’t falter.

“What was it that you said earlier? Something like, don’t hate the player, hate the game? I told you I’d get you, Lalonde.” He said, and she glared.

“You are simply-” Rose paused, took a breath, and changed her approach. “David, I’m sure you are aware of what I can do to you. With that in mind, if you tell me how to remove this now, I won’t destroy you.”  She said, an edge of danger in her tone. Dave smirked and shrugged, his freckled shoulders moving upward.

“No idea! Have fun, Rose! Spread the word.” He said, a malicious smirk on his face. The girl, who’d originally been on John’s team spoke up.

“Wait! I know a way to get rid of it, my sister did it to me once. I have the stuff over by our towels, if you want?” She offered, and Rose looked at her. She immediately accepted- after all, the blonde started to purchase more attire for the current season, and couldn’t bear the idea of not wearing it because of the message burned into her back. Plus, the rest of her back hurt in the light sunburn, so she’d take anything that removed those words. The blonde followed the stranger in an instant, leaving only Dave and Tori standing uncomfortably on the court. Dave turned to her, giving her a half apologetic look.

“Hey, I don’t know if you want to still keep playing, I’m not actually the best partner for this, as is pretty fucking clear by serves that somehow managed to turn in the opposite direction. Not that that’s not a skill within itself, but I’m pretty certain you’re not going to enjoy backwards beach volleyball with a total stranger.” He commented, and the corner of her lip turned up as she thought about his words but the girl generated an idea, then an offer.

“I could teach you, if you want. I still want to play.” And they were off. She stood on the side of the court opposite of him. “Okay, here’s how you serve it- I usually just throw it into the air, and hit over the net. Want to try?” After an attempt, Dave had it, and they moved on to bumping and setting.

“Like this?” Dave asked, lowering his legs, then lifting them again. She beamed.

“Yep! Here, I’ll give you the ball, you bump it.” She said, and soon enough, he was doing it. As Dave tried to set the ball, he ran into a line of problems. At one point, the girl asked permission to grab his arms and position them correctly, then did the same with his legs. She walked him through the movement, but he seemed to have a little more trouble with this one.

“Okay, but I am bending my elbows.” He said, and She shook her head.

“Push them to that position as you’re pushing up with your legs.” She said, and he tried a few times. “Hold on, let me just-” She grabbed him suddenly and threw up the ball. Unfortunately, Dave lost balance and she fell on top of him. She let out a sharp squeak of surprise as he switched them midair so that he wouldn’t fall on her. Once they were both on the ground, with Tori lying atop him, he smirked up at her. His glasses still kept his eyes hidden, but the slightly self deprecating mirth in his tone conveyed all that Tori needed to know.

“Pretty sure I’m ready for the Olympics now, huh?” He said, and it spawned a genuine laugh.

“Pretty sure you’re ready too. Hop on a train and sign yourself up, you don’t even need to join the US team- the US team will join you.” It spurred a laugh from Dave, and after it ended, he looked up at her. She still had yet to get off him, but enough time hadn’t passed to where things got uncomfortable- just that slight bit of awkwardness that came from accidentally knocking someone over remained.

“You know, it’s not like I’m not enjoying this hallmark level movie scene we’re in by just laying here, but if you stood up my lungs would probably stop attempting to compress themselves in a black hole of nothingness.” Really, his lungs were fine, and she seemed to be attempting to get off already, but he decided to squeeze in the comment anyway. Their legs were a tangle of limbs, and she struggled to remove herself from him.

“Sorry, I- let me get out of your leg, one second.” She tried pushing herself up, but their heads both turned when they heard John’s voice.

“Wow, I guess you two really… fell for each other?” He asked, and their laughter stopped as they got it, matching groans bubbling from the teenager’s mouths. John put up finger guns and winked, while Tori looked at him, disgusted.

“Why. Why would you ever do this? How do you live with this?” Tori asked, and Dave looked at her.

“You get used to it.” He admitted, and John faked offense.

“Get used to it? Dave, you love it.” He said, and Dave fired back a response.

“Not as much as I would love not being on the ground- so, uh, help?” He asked, and John helped detangle them, then held out a hand for Dave to stand. He hastily did, and the blonde offered Tori a hand as well. She took it, and John looked at Dave suggestively.

“So, you two have some fun while I was gone? I hope you had something cooler up your sleeve than falling on top of her.” John said, and Dave rolled his eyes, but Tori, to their surprise, broke in.

“Yeah, you wish you could be that smooth. We’re already prepared to run off into the sunset and get married, right Dave?” She asked, sarcasm in her tone, and the joking tone pulled a smile from Dave’s face.

“Of course Tori, we’re picking out your wedding gown as soon as we get out of here-we’ll take a detour to Vegas and get married tonight.”

“Perfect, I’ll adopt two kids while you buy me a minivan, then we can move to the suburbs and you can be an accountant.” Tori said, and Dave snorted, then chuckled out a laugh.

“Sure, we’ll name them sponge bob and John, then you can cook and clean and make me sandwiches.” He said, and Tori laughed.

“Sanwiches? Really? That’s so sexist- And which things are we naming, the kids or the car?” she asked, a tinkle of laughter on her tone, and Dave smirked.

“Both, Sponge is kid one, Bob is kid two, and we’ll name the car after uncle John.” He said, and his little laughter didn’t stop while Tori joined them. John laughed at the idea as well, a little surprised at how easily the sarcasm flowed between the two, but a goofy grin fell on his face anyway. Eventually they talked a little more, then Tori’s friend returned with Rose. The two girls departed, and John took his two friends back to their towels. Even if their day at the beach had just begun, they’d done a lot, and John looked forward to doing even more.

______________

AN: That was a shit ending. Anyway, we’re nearing the end, I promise. But I’m having another chapter on beach shenanigans before this stri-londe-mary-bert- vacation is over if I can help it. Until next time, and you guys already know how much I appreciate you reading.

Uh, hey, what’s your favorite thing to do at the beach? Could you picture any of the characters doing it? Let me know belooow!

-Slip out!

JAFNF Chapter 109

(Thursday, April 29 th )

After the group came back together for a quick, pre packed, on the beach picnic, John and Dave stayed in the sand for a while. Roxy and Dad Egbert went out for a little walk, and Kanaya joined Rose on the dry sand. Dave sat at an area of the beach that was a little far from the few other patrons that day, and John doodled in the sand next to him. Actually, the beach was surprisingly under populated. Besides the six of them, only a two families, including wherever Tori and Jenny came from, and a couple were there.  The blonde leaned over John with an eased smile on his face, and joined him.

“What you up to, John?” Dave asked, and John grinned.

“Drawing in the sand. It’s kind of relaxing.” John said, and Dave looked at him.

“You mind if I add in background music? I need to hear this Beethoven shit to find out what I’m mixing up for Rose.” John looked at him, confused.

“Woah, do you just remix stuff for everyone now? When did that start?” Dave looked at him, surprised.

“Dude, I do not just make remixes for everyone now.” John looked at him, confused.

“Then uh, why is Rose getting one? Her birthday isn’t until, like, December?” Dave’s face turned dark for a second.

“Blackmail is a powerful tool. Anyway, mind if I play some? I need Beethoven, Haydn and Mozart.” He said, and John shrugged.

“I don’t care- but, why don’t you just add a beat to Beethoven’s Symphony 5? That would be pretty cool.”

“Dude, I have no idea what that is. I’m not some piano playing music kid like you, I just make good beats.” He said, and John looked at him.

“You haven’t heard it? For real? It goes like… dun dun dun dun… dun dun dun dun… dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun!” He said, and Dave snorted.

“Right, that helped.“ He said, and John looked at him.

“Fine then, look it up!” Dave proceeded to do so, and set it to play. After listening to a few seconds, his eyes widened.

“Oh! I’ve heard it, sorry Egbert. I just didn’t know the name. Anyway, I can probably figure out the bpm of this thing and work on it from there, good idea. Thanks, John.” He said, and John grinned.

“That’s what I’m here for!” the song ended, and as usual, youtube changed it to something else. They decided to leave it on the random shuffle of videos youtube provided them with, and John drew a pair of Dave’s sunglasses. Dave joined him, and John put in a few basic shapes. After putting in his fifth star, he moved to attempt to draw circles and triangles. Dave drew a heart, and John put a spade next to it. “Wait, wait! We should write something huge on the beach, but write using just our feet. I saw someone doing that once and it looked cool.” John said, and Dave looked at him in interest.

“Really? Hey, cool. You wanna write help?” He asked, and John shook his head.

“No, someone may think we’re in trouble. What if we just wrote hello… but in cursive?” John asked, bending over and writing the word. “It would look like this!” He said, and Dave shrugged.

“Sure, I can manage that.” So, Dave started from the end of the ‘h’, while John started with the ‘O’. The music changed again to a guitar song, and John made a hum of approval as he started writing. He made the letter huge, and dragged his feet around in what he hoped was a perfect circle. They inched closer to their opposite sides of the beach, and Dave started to move towards the top of the ‘h’. He tried to do a loop that was similar to John’s, and he slid around a little. The music picked up speed, and Dave did so as well. John saw his movement and the corners of his mouth moved upwards.

John began to move a little faster, while Dave moved back down over his h. The blue eyed boy was already at his first ‘l’, and soon enough, they were both at the last ‘l’, in the center. John walked from where it connected to the other l, while Dave moved to where it connected at the ‘e’. The two boys met halfway, and John accidentally bumped into Dave. The blonde caught himself before he could fall, and put his hand up for a high five.

“Nice writing.” He said, and John slapped his hand. They proceeded to carefully move off the word they wrote, and the song changed again. This time, a nice piano piece played that neither of them recognized. John saw that  the song’s title was ‘I’m Still Here’, according to the description. Unfortunately, it was only a minute long, but the piece conveyed a little sadness that made John enjoy it. Dave and John wondered what they could do, and in the end, they just talked for a few minutes, with the amalgam of instrumentals in the background.

“You know, I always wanted to go to the beach. I haven’t been to one since I was two.” John said, and Dave looked at him with interest.

“Really? Who said that, your dad?” John gave him a sideways glance.

“Nope. My mom, actually. She said she and Dad were visiting a beach when I was six, and- well, uh, anyway, it’s been a while.” John quickly added, shutting himself down before the topic could continue. Dave looked out towards the water. The two were just sitting there now.

“Me too. We moved around a lot, but I couldn’t really go outside. All that shit about vampires and burning skin is true, until you get older. That’s probably why Dirk never showed me how to flash step.” He said, and John looked at him with interest.

“What? Why?” Dave smirked.

“Apparently, it’s a skill you can only learn at a really young age- and my dumb ass baby face probably would have gone outside and burned up. So yeah, no flash stepping for baby Dave.” John pouted.

“Aww, really? That stinks.” John said, and Dave shrugged.

“Eh. Wait, you haven’t been on the beach since you were two, you said?” Dave asked, and John nodded. “That means you haven’t done all of those benchmark childhood things that feel so much better on the shore, according to something I read a while ago. We’re playing hopscotch. This is happening.” Dave said, and John looked at him.

“I’ve played hopscotch.”

“Not on the beach. Come on, Egdork. I’ll even draw out the thing for you.” He said, and John sighed, but he felt a smile on his face anyway. “See, you’re smiling.”

“I am, and I hate it. I’ll go find a rock!” In an instant Dave was on the sand, and he drew into his masterpiece. After putting the final number on his creation, he looked at it with satisfaction. John saw it, and grinned, then laughed. “Dave, eww! Why, that’s disgusting!” He said, but couldn’t hide his obvious giggling.

“It’s perfect.” It was certainly something. Dave took the opportunity to draw a large… well, a large, numbered penis in the sand. The squares were lines he’d stretched across it, and it was even complete with two testicles, while the semen took the number ten spot. Dave looked at it proudly, and held a hand out for John’s rock. John handed him one, and they tried out the game. They played a little, but eventually, it got boring. After deciding to do something else, the two moved to play tag.

John was the tag-er while Dave was the one who ran away. While Dave’s whole everything was speed and agility, John managed to corner him against a few rocks. He walked over to him confidently, and grinned. Dave knew he had nowhere to run.

“Just do it already, John.” He said, and John grinned. He moved close to Dave’s lightly freckled cheek, and moved up a little, pushing his weight near the front of his toes. It affectively made him just tall enough to push his lips to Dave’s cheek, and the second he made contact, he ran away laughing.

“You’re it!” He said, and ran. Dave gawked and felt his eyes widen, while his cheek flushed. Had John just… John stopped running for a second, and looked back at his friend, who stood there with his face red and his mind not functioning correctly. John turned around. “Dave, why did you stop? You’re it!” He said, and Dave made a little, strangled noise.

“John, you- you just- fuck, am I dreaming?” Dave asked, and John looked at him, confused.

“Uh, yeah. I tagged you, it’s tag- isn’t that what we were playing?” John asked, and Dave looked at him.

“What?” John gave him a look.

“You know, Tag. You chase the person, and when you get close to them, you kiss them and you’re it. That’s how you play.” John said, and Dave looked surprised and a little confused.

“Who the fuck told you that?” He asked, and John raised an eyebrow.

“Well, that’s how I played with my Mom and Dad, and in elementary school, that’s what I did. When I played more recently with Vriska, that’s what she told me. Why, are those not the rules?” He asked, and Dave looked at him, a little hurt in his tone.

“What? No. That’s not- you’re supposed to just tap them. At least, that’s what I thought. I never really played, but man.” John looked down.

“Oh. I always just thought that was how everyone played. Are you… okay?” John asked him and Dave sighed. That was a stupid hope anyway. Then again, the idea that John would just kiss him meant that he was more platonic with his best friend than ever. The blonde sighed.

“I’m fine.” He saw John’s entire disposition change.

“Dave?” He asked, his voice timid and lacking its usual, goofy, reassuring tone. John almost looked scared, and he definitely looked guilty. Dave realized that John could see how not okay it was, and it was upsetting him. Dave took a deep breath, and decided he’d deal with just how upsetting John’s actions were later. “Dave, I’m sorry, I- I didn’t mean-” Dave threw a smile on his face and tapped John, then ran away.

“You’re it again, Egdork!” He said, running away. Fake it until you  make it, right? John’s eyes widened in disbelief, and the boy grinned.

“Dave, no fair!” he shouted, and ran after the blonde again. Eventually, Roxy came over to the two. John managed to tag Dave again, and John ran away, using the woman as a shield. “Roxy, save me!” He shouted, running behind her. Dave groaned.

“John, you’re fucking cheating, no human shields!” He said, and John looked at him from behind the woman.

“Suck it, Dave!” He said, and Roxy laughed.

“Woah woah, there will be no sucking. At least- wait, you guys drew a giant dick? Damn Jonny, I may have been wrong. What’s been going on over here guys? And, is that classical music?” Roxy asked, and Dave shrugged.

“Uh, well the dick was hopscotch, the music was one of those Youtube things that just keeps going, and this is tag- with a cheater!” He added, and Roxy laughed again.

“Wow, using your surroundings to your advantage, John? Nice going!” Roxy said, and John giggled proudly.

“See!” he said, and Dave rolled his eyes.

“Actually, I’d like to get in on this action, but I think we’re going soon, guys. Jacob wants to build a giant sandcastle and leave, and I wanted to know if you guys would get in on it?” Roxy asked, and John looked at Dave.

“Screw Tag with cheaters, I want to build that castle.” Dave said, and John nodded.

“Yeah! Wait, I’m not cheating! But yes, let’s build it. What happened to the one from earlier?” John asked, and Dave picked up his phone as they started to walk back. He knealt in the sand for a few seconds, and then stood up and joined John and Roxy as she responded.

“Actually, it’s super funny. Kanaya was helping, build it, but you know how she gives out the total mom vibe, right?”

“Like you?” Dave asked, without thinking, and Roxy grinned.

“If you think so, Davey. Anyway, kids kept coming over to the thing, and of course Kanaya wouldn’t shoo them away, so a bunch of kids just sort of took care of the castle together, and she was like, their over seer or whatever. They all went to her for approval and stuff- it was pretty cute. Most of them had to go or wandered off eventually, but it was still super cute, and Rosie was totally impressed and junk. She gave her, like, the look. You know the look? Like the, ‘I’d totally propose right now, because you’re so awesome.’. You know, that look?” She asked, and John shrugged.

“Not really.”

“I do.” Dave said, and John’s eyes widened as he looked at his friend, then they narrowed.

“Wait, was that a pun? Because… I do?” He asked, and Dave looked alarmed, but nodded.

“Uh, yeah. I think I’ve spent too much time around you.” John grinned.

“I HAVE NEVER BEEN MORE PROUD.” He said, and looked at Roxy. “See, I’m converting him!” John said, and Roxy looked at Dave, who had a hand on his forehead. She noticed a little red on his cheeks, and an intrigued expression fell on her face.

“Hm.” Was all she said, and eventually, they arrived back at the main area of the beach. Kanaya and Rose already started construction, and John’s dad had a plastic bucket filled with sand prepared. John and Dave joined in at first, until both realized that they sucked at design and basic architecture. Instead, John started to bury Dave in the sand and give him a mermaid tail. The blonde let it happen, and as John drew in the final scales on the tail, he gained an idea.

“Hold on, I forgot something! Back in a second!” John said, and he ran back to where they were before. He smiled fondly at the things they’d drawn in the sand, and found what he was looking for. As he picked up the small items in his hand, he stumbled across a small doodle he hadn’t noticed before. It was a heart, around the letters ‘D’ and ‘J’. John looked at it in confusion, before realizing that Dave must have writeen it. He apparently loved Disk Jockeys a lot. The more John thought about it, he remembered his brother was a DJ, and he smiled when he realized he was still thinking about the man. John took the liberty of taking a picture of it, and walked back over to Dave. He took a picture of his friend, who offered the camera a thumbs up with his mermaid tail.

“Dave!” John shouted, and Dave raised an eyebrow.

“I’m right here, buddy.”

“Shut up. I have something for you!” John announced, and Dave looked at him.

“Oh really? Did I just win the random gift wheel of fortune or some shit?” Dave asked, and John rolled his eyes.

“Shut up, mermaid man.” Dave laughed.

“Okay, okay. Seriously though, what is it? You’re getting me really hyped up for this mystery gift, barnacle boy.” He said, and John held out the seashells. One was tinted red, while the other had a distinctive blue hue to it.

“I found these while I was looking for that rock. Cool, huh?” John asked, and Dave looked up at his best friend, who seemed ecstatic to give him the item.

“Yeah. Wait, do I get one?” John grinned.

“You can have both, if you want. I found them together. No need to separate a pair, right?” John asked, and Dave realized how similar the two looked. He was about to agree, but he had a different idea. He handed John the redder one back.

“You’re right, they belong together. I’ll take this one, and you’ll take the other one.” Dave said, and John blinked.

“But, I thought you said they’d belonged with each other, right?” John asked, and Dave smirked.

“I know. If we each have one, we’ll know they’ll always be together, right?” Dave asked, and John stared at him in confusion for a solid twenty seconds, before a smile grew on his face.

“Aww, Dave!” John said, reaching down to hug his best friend.  Dave was putting his arms up, and John spoke again.“That’s so sweet of you.” He said, but before Dave could form a response, Rose broke in.

“Yes, he’s like an angel. Until you get to know him- then you learn he’s quite the opposite, John.” She said sarcastically, and John’s hug immediately broke as he turned to see the blonde girl. Dave glared at her behind his sunglasses, and John looked at Rose goofily.

“Rose, he’s not that bad. And the prank was pretty funny!” He said, and Rose had a look of distaste on her face.

“Mm. Well, we’ve finished construction. I can see you two made yourselves busy while we did the work.” Rose said, referencing the three others that came with them as well. John grinned.

“Yeah, mermaid man is going to save the day.” Rose rolled her eyes.

“Well, mermaid man should stop playing in the sand, because we’re getting ready to go. I believe we all crave showers now.” Rose said, and John pouted.

“But Rose, I worked so hard!” He said, and she smirked.

“Sorry, John. Sometimes art needs to be destroyed, for the greater good.” She commented, and John sighed, then put a hand out for Dave to grab. He helped the blonde stand, effectively ruining his mermaid. Afterwards, Dave got a picture of Rose, Roxy, Kanaya and Dad’s awesome sandcastle. Eventually, the group returned their things, and placed their items back in their car. It was later in the afternoon, and they all returned to the hotel to take showers, and clean themselves. Dave offered to Dwayne Johnson, paper, scissors for who got to shower first (the suggestion made John laugh, and Dave felt proud.) but John just let him go first. He stared out at the area beyond their hotel, and sighed. Their vacation would end today, but it didn’t mean that his fun couldn’t. They still had to get through the remainder of the day, and John was ready for whatever the vacation would throw at him.

_____________________________-

AN: Dwayane Johnson? You know, the rock? Eh? Ehhhhh? But seriously I just saw central intelligence and it had the rock and Kevin hart in it.

JAFNF Chapter 110

(Thursday, April 29 th )

John and Dave sat in their hotel room on their beds.  They had just returned from window shopping and dinner, activities they did early, in consideration of the vampires on their trip. It was getting a little late, but the moon had yet to come out in sunny California, so Dave and John sat with the curtains pulled away from the window in their room. While Dave Skyped Terezi, John texted Karkat, and the two didn’t physically speak to each other. The shorter of the two had his earbuds in, allotting Dave a little privacy as he talked to Terezi. He didn’t over hear their conversation at all. In fact, he was far too engrossed in his discussion with the usually angry vampire to notice any of what Dave was saying, until a chime told him he received a new pester. With a quick apology and promise to be back soon, John pushed himself away from his conversation with Karkat.

Gallows Callibrator (GC) began pestering Ecto Biologist (EB).

GC: JOHN.

GC: YOU’R3 4N 1GNOR4NT SLUT.

Gallows Callibraor (GC) ceased pestering Ecto Biologist (EB).

John took one look at the words, then took a deep breath. Immediately, he responded, but verbally.

“Shut the fuck up, Pyrope!” He shouted, and from the sound of Terezi’s bemused cackle, she heard him. John groaned, and Dave looked back at him.

“Dude, chill.” He said, and John looked at Dave, a frown on his face.

“Chill? She made me leave Karkat to just be a jerk!”

“Sounds like you’re the jerk if you ditched Karkat’s conversation, John.” Terezi’s rasp came half from her natural voice, and half from the phone Dave used. John dropped his phone and ran over to Dave’s bed. The blonde prominently dropped his device, leaving John to pick it up and glare at the object of his hatred. With a sigh, Dave went to John’s phone instead. Terezi and John were yelling at each other, and every time Terezi laughed, John grew more frustrated. He opened up John’s pesterchum, and continued his conversation with Karkat.

“Ecto Biologist” (EB) began pestering Carcino Geneticist (CG).

EB: Hey, sorry Karkat, I have to go, but I’ll be back in a second.

CG: SURE, EGBERT. SEE YOU.

EB: hey

CG: AH, JOHN. WAS IT ANYTHING IMPORTANT?

EB: Actually, it’s Dave, shouty.

EB: Egbert’s next to me, and busy screaming at my cell phone.

CG: SERIOUSLY? HOW IN THE EVER LOVING FUCK DID YOU MANAGE THAT, STRIDER?

EB: Terezi.

CG: WELL, THAT CERTAINLY EXPLAINS IT.

CG: ANYWAY, HOW’S YOUR VACATION GOING?

EB: Did you not hear about it from John?

CG: WELL, STRIDER, I WAS ATTEMPTING TO MAINTAIN A LITTLE COMMON COURTESY HERE, BUT IT’S OBVIOUSLY CLEAR THAT  WHATEVER THOSE DORITO EATING FUCKNUGGETS KNOWN AS TEXANS CALL A ‘SOUTHERN GENTLEMAN’, YOU CERTAINLY DON’T FIT THE FUCKING BILL. SERIOUSLY, IS IT REALLY THAT DIFFICULT TO MAINTAIN A NORMAL CONVERSATION ABOUT REASONABLY MUNDANE TOPICS, BASED ON THE PURE POLITE INTEREST OF SOMEONE YOU HAVEN’T SPOKEN TO IN A FEW DAYS?

EB: Woah, common courtesy?

EB: When did that start being a thing, normal Karkat’s definition of a greeting is ‘fuck you, sunglasses wearing piece of shit.’

EB: Seriously, why wasn’t I informed that this started?

CG: HONESTLY STRIDER, IF THAT’S HOW YOU PLAN TO ACT, I WOULD RATHER LISTEN IN ON JOHN AND TEREZI’S SHIT TALKING OVER THEIR OWN STUPID JEALOUSY AND INSECURITIES.

CG: AND IF YOU’VE HEARD IT, OR ARE IN THE PROCESS OF HEARING IT, YOU KNOW HOW DIRE A STATE I’D NEED TO BE IN TO SAY IT.

EB: That bad, huh?

CG: DAVE. I NEED TO MAKE THIS CLEAR TO YOU. I HAVE ABSOLUTELY *zero* TIME TO DEAL WITH YOUR STUPID BULLSHIT TODAY. IN CASE YOUR VAMPIRE SENSES WEREN’T TINGLING, I ACTUALLY HAVE A LEGITIMATE PROBLEM WITH MOON COVERAGE TONIGHT, AND I WOULD PREFER NOT TO TARNISH EVERY REMAINING OUNCE OF MY REPUTATION BY DEALING WITH THIS AWFUL MOON TONIGHT.

EB: Uh, what’s the problem? The sun’s not down yet.

CG: OKAY, FIRST, I’M SURE YOU MEAN WHEREVER THE FUCK YOU ARE IN CALIFORNIA, RIGHT? IN CASE YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO SIXTH GRADE, WHICH I’M CERTAIN YOU HAVEN’T, THERE’S THIS AMAZING CONCEPT OF A THING THEY INVENTED CALLED A TIMEZONE, AND IF JOHN’S SCREENSHOTS ARE ANYTHING TO GO BY, I’D SAY WE’RE IN TWO DIFFERENT ONES.

CG: AND SECONDLY, THE PROBLEM IS THAT MY FATHER’S FORCED ME TO COME TO SOME DUMB ASS CHURCH EVENT THEY’RE HAVING TONIGHT, AND FROM WHAT HE’S SAID, IT’S OUTDOORS.

CG: AND IN CASE YOU CAN’T CALCULATE HOW MUCH OF A PROBLEM THAT IS FOR ME, PERSONALLY, I’M GOING TO GIVE YOU A MIND NUMBING MEGA SCOPE OF A FUCKING LOOK AT THE KARKAT THAT’S NOT WRAPPED UP IN YOUR STUPID ROMANTIC BULLSHIT DYNAMICS ALL THE TIME.

CG: WAIT A SECOND, FUCK.

CG: ARE YOU GOING TO BE OKAY TONIGHT?

CG: I DIDN’T EVEN THINK ABOUT WHATEVER WEIRD IMPACTS THIS WILL HAVE ON YOU.

CG: YOU SAID JOHN’S NEXT TO YOU?

EB: Hey, how about we get back on the absolutely wonderful topic of you, Karkat?

CG: RIGHT, RIGHT.

CG: SORRY.

CG: ANYWAY, AS I WAS ATTEMPTING TO STRESS EARLIER, I KNOW I’LL BE AFFECTED AS FUCK BY WHATEVER HAPPENS DURING THIS MOON.

CG: AND I’M ALSO PRETTY SURE I KNOW EXACTLY WHICH RELATIONSHIP I’LL BE FUCKING UP TONIGHT, SINCE WE’RE ON AN APRIL MOON.

CG: AND I ALSO REALIZE THAT SAID RELATIONSHIP INVOLVES A WEREWOLF THAT’S PROBABLY GOING TO BE TRANSFORMED, OR SOME BULLSHIT, UNCONTROLLABLY TONIGHT.

EB: Gee I wonder who it could be.

CG: SHUT UP, JADE’S GOING TO BE STUCK AS A WOLF ALL NIGHT.

CG: WHICH MEANS SHE’LL HAVE TO READ WHATEVER MY MOON ADDLED MIND CONJURES UP TO SAY TO HER DURING THIS STUPIDLY INFLUENCED FEW HOURS OF MY NIGHT.

CG: OH FUCK, I SEE THE MOON.

CG: THE SUN’S STILL OUT, BUT I’M REALLY FUCKED.

EB: Why not just… see what happens?

EB: It’s Jade, I’m pretty sure she’ll deal with the vampire moon. After all, if you can adjust to her fucking furry transformation every month, I’m pretty sure she can deal with a weird ass text or two.

CG: THE THING IS, STRIDER.

CG: I KIND OF DON’T WANT TO FUCK THIS UP WITH JADE.

CG: BESIDES THE *OBVIOUS* REASON, THAT SHE DEFINITELY DESERVES SOMETHING BETTER SOMEONE WITH AS MUCH WHINY BULLSHIT BACK STORY VAMPIRE ISSUES AS ME

CG: THERE’S ALSO THIS KIND OF HUGE ASS ISSUE THAT’S SHE’S ACTUALLY REALLY NICE, AND I’M ACTUALLY NOT.

CG: SO, IT’S NOT LIKE I CAN JUST SAY ‘OH JADE, I MEANT NONE OF WHAT I SAID TO YOU LAST NIGHT, DON’T READ INTO IT’, BUT I CAN’T JUST LET HER SIT WITH ALL OF WHATEVER THE FUCK I DEEM APPROPRIATE IN MY MOON ADDLED MIND TO PONDER OVER THE NEXT DAY, THEN THINK I’M MORE… SOMETHING, THAN I AM, BECAUSE THAT WOULD MAKE ME AN ASSHOLE.

CG: AND I DON’T WANT TO BE AN ASSHOLE TO HER.

EB: Why? You seem pretty content screaming at her every time you see her.

CG: THAT’S DIFFERENT, SHE’S SCREAMING TOO, AND WE’RE NOT ACTUALLY HURTING EACH OTHER’S FEELINGS.

CG: SHE UNDERSTANDS IT IN SITUATIONS LIKE THAT, AND SHE REALIZES WHAT I MEAN WHEN IT COMES TO THAT.

CG: BUT WHATEVER I SAY TONIGHT MAY ACTUALLY LEAVE HER CONFUSED OR UPSET OR DISGUSTED AND I DON’T WANT THAT FOR HER.

CG: I KNOW WHAT I’M CAPABLE OF SAYING, AND IT IS COMPLETE, MOVING FASTER THAN GREASE LIGHTNING WITH ROCKET BOOSTERS BULLSHIT.

CG: SHE DOESN’T DESERVE TO HAVE HER HEAD FUCKED WITH LIKE THAT.

CG: AND I DON’T WANT TO DO THAT TO HER. SHE’S TOO IMPORTANT. AND NICE. AND WONDERFUL. AND GORGEOUS.

CG: AND SHE HAS A REALLY ATTRACTIVE PERSONALITY, BECAUSE SHE’S REALLY JUST AN AMAZING PERSON, AND  I’M RIDICULOUSLY LUCKY TO HAVE LANDED THIS JACKPOT WITH SOMEHOW BEING ABLE TO IMPRESS HER ENOUGH FOR HER TO ACTUALLY LIKE ME.

CG: NOT TO MENTION, SHE’S PROBABLY ONE OF THE COOLEST PEOPLE I’VE EVER ACTUALLY MET. LIKE, YOUR WHOLE HALF FAMILY THING IS PRETTY FUCKING BADASS WHEN IT COMES TO POWER LEVELS, BUT SHE’S GOT ALL OF THAT, ALONG WITH AN AMAZING PRETTY MUCH EVERYTHING TO GO ON TOP.

CG: LIKE, HOW IN FUCK DID I ACTUALLY GET THAT LUCKY, CONSIDERING THAT SHE’S ALL THOSE THINGS AND PRETTY MUCH EMOTIONALLY SECURE, WHICH IS THE ONE THING ALMOST NO ONE IS.

CG: I MEAN, CONSIDER THE FUCKING ODDS OF THAT, IN HIGH SCHOOL.

EB: Karkat.

EB: Stop.

CG: WHAT? I’M JUST.

CG: SHIT.

CG: SON OF A FUCK DO YOU SEE THIS SHIT STRIDER?

CG: THIS IS THE BULLSHIT I AM ATTEMPTING TO AVOID.

CG: FUCK I’M SO FUCKED, DAMN IT.

EB: Wow, man.

EB: I don’t think I could actually get that gushy even if I was under the full moonlight.

EB: You’re like one of those blue fruit gushers John can’t stop eating.

EB: I mean, damn, you’re spewing out Shakespeare level poetry out of your fruit gushing vampire ass.

EB: Shit could be written by old ass dudes with their fucking long ass feathers and corsets with giant ass collars and shit.

CG: HOW ABOUT YOU STOP TALKING, STRIDER.

EB: What, not enjoying my literary analysis of how fucked you are?

CG: I BELIEVE IT IS PRETTY FUCKING EVIDENT THAT I AM NOT ENJOYING THIS, AND IN FACT, IT MAY ACTUALLY BE BENEFICIAL TO PUT YOUR TODDLER LEVEL, BUILDING BLOCK SPELLING EXCUSE FOR POETRY DOWN FOR A SECOND AND HELP ME THE FUCK OUT OR RETURN JOHN’S PHONE. PREFERABLY THE LATTER OF THE TWO, BECAUSE JOHN’S AN ASS, BUT HE CAN BE A FUCKING HELPFUL ASS INSTEAD OF BEING LIKE A CERTAIN SOMEONE THAT MAKES ME WASTE VALUABLE TIME ON LISTENING TO YOUR DECIDEDLY UNHELPFUL “LITERARY ANALYSIS”.

CG: NOW GIVE JOHN BACK HIS PHONE, I ACTUALLY NEED TO TALK TO HIM.

EB: K. Later shouty, good luck tonight.

Dave looked up, and heard what would be the end of their conversation.

“Heheh nerd, your defense is crumbling. Stop pulling at straws, or it’ll be eighth grade gym class all over again.” He heard Terezi’s voice, and heard John’s growl of frustration.

“Terezi, you cheated during that! We both know you cheated! Just because the teacher gave you some dumb pass because you told him you were bl-”

“Uh, hey guys.” The two fell silent in an instant, and John turned to Dave.

“Oh, hey Dave. What’s up?” Dave looked to the side.

“Well, I’d hate to interrupt anything important, but Karkat says he kind of needs you right now, so-”

“Karkat! Oh no, I forgot.”

“Wow, forgetting about a friend in need, John? That’s terrible.” Terezi taunted, and John glared at the phone.

“Terezi, you’re the reason… okay, I’ll deal with you later! Dave, where’s my phone?” He asked, and the blonde pushed a thumb towards the bed.

“Over there.” He said, and John shot him a grateful smile.

“Thanks, Dave.” He quickly returned to the device, and proceeded to help Karkat. Dave returned to Terezi, who stared at the screen, but clearly not at Dave. She was clicking something on her end, but when she noticed the blonde return, she looked down at him.

“Hey, you’re back, cool kid. Nice of you to just stick me with John while you went off with… what, Karkles?” She asked, and he raised an eyebrow.

“You texted him first, right?” The blonde asked, and he took a sideways look at John. He appeared casual at first, but Dave noticed his blue eye shift, then his grip on his phone grew a little tighter. Dave wanted to snort- John was listening to them, but he still spoke to Karkat.

“He deserved it. Terezi responded, and Dave saw John twitch. He responded anyway.

“I probably don’t want to know then. You’re doing something on your computer right now… what the fuck is it?” Dave asked, and Terezi smirked at him.

“I’m going through the multiple choice our history teacher posted for the final. Have you done it yet? Or, are you just too cool to study?” She asked, and he rolled his eyes.

“I’m not, but I haven’t started yet. I’m actually chilling on this vacation, you know?” He asked, and she smirked.

“Well, if you’re not too busy-”

“We could study together, Dave.” Both Terezi and John said it at the same time, and when Dave turned towards John, he sensed the embarrassed heat building up in his face. Terezi frowned, then smirked evilly.

“Wow, Dork. Easedropping much? For someone who claims not to like me, you really seem to be listening in on this conversation.” John glared.

“Shut up! I’m in the same room, it’s not listening in! It doesn’t count!” He said, incredulous, but Terezi just smirked.

“Sure, John. Are you putting Karkles on the back burner again? Some friend you are.” She said, and John’s eyes widened, before guilt, then anger flashed across his face.

“You distracted me! I am definitely a good friend, right, Dave?” John asked, and Dave only groaned and hit the bed in response.

“Egbert, you’re a good friend. Now, In all niceness and shit, I’m saying this to both of you. Stop talking to each other, please.”

“Trust me, That’s not a problem on my end.” He said, and Terezi sighed.

“Well, anyway. My offer still stands, coolkid. I know her final’s going to be easy, but still.” Terezi said, and Dave nodded.

“Thanks, ‘Rezi. I’ll see about it later. Anyway, what did you do today? Fuck, I never asked, sorry.” She smirked.

“It’s cool, Dave. I didn’t do much anyway. Vriska and I hung out for a while, but we just chilled out like usual. What about you?” She asked, and he decided he’d leave out John’s involvement in everything.

“Well, I got fucking blackmailed into creating a boring ass classical mixtape for Rose.” Dave said, and she raised an eyebrow at him.

“Wait, your sister? How’d she get a leg up on you?” She asked, clearly intrigued. Dave looked off to the side.

“Well, technically, she’s not my sister. But, she had some information that I’d seriously prefer she not share, and she used it against me, cause she’s a witch. I got her back though, so she won’t fuck with me again. I hope.” He said, and Terezi nodded in satisfaction.

“Heh, what’d you do?” She asked, and he smirked.

“Oh, you know. Maybe tattoo a meme in her back. I didn’t get a picture though.”  Terezi’s eyes widened.

“Shit Strider, was it permanent?” She asked, and Dave sighed.

“Unfortunately, the only tools this artist had were sunburn- but it left a mark.” Terezi sighed.

“It would have been hilarious if it stayed for longer, but at least you’ll get a week out of it, huh?” She asked, but Dave shook his head.

“Nah. This girl’s friend helped her un-burn herself, don’t ask me how. Oh, and I met this chic today- Tori? She was a total stranger, but she was pretty cool.” Terezi looked at him.

“Woah, cool kid, should I be jealous?” Dave smirked.

“Hell yeah. She was hot as fuck- and good at volleyball.” Terezi looked at him playfully.

“What, did she have blue eyes and black hair, or something?”

“Shut the fuck up, Pyrope. But, if you want to talk about someone with dark hair and blue eyes, Vriska’s still an open discussion topic.” He said, and Terezi shrugged.

“Vriska’s something. She’s a bad ass best friend, Dave.” Dave looked at her.

“Woah, should I be jealous?” He asked, and she smirked.

“Yes. She’s awesome. Anyway, I think I’ve actually talked about- or to, I guess, Vriska enough today. You know, I got a new scalemate?” She asked, and Dave grinned.

“Shit, really? What color’s this one?”

“Grape. I mean, purple. He has wings!” Dave nodded, impressed.

“Well don’t keep me waiting, show me this one. Have you named it?” Dave asked, and they proceeded to get into an unironic discussion about stuffed animals, a topic Dave unironically enjoyed. He’d concluded long ago that it was probably because of the lack of actual stuffed animals in his childhood. Dirk substituted smuppets for teddy bears. After all, he had a ton of them lying around from their dad’s company, and it’s not like Dirk really thought about the psychological impact of the toys on the young vampire.

He never blamed him for that- they were so busy moving around that they didn’t really have a chance for a heart to heart on what exactly his tiny hands squeezed in his baby cradle. That said, when he saw Terezi’s vast collection of scale mate plushies, he fell in love with them so unironically that they were always a subject of excitement for him. Not that he would start buying them himself, but still.

“Not yet, any ideas?” He saw the stuffed animal’s purple exterior.

“Grapeface? Fuck if I know. Little purple guy looks like a grape face.” He said, and Terezi put a hand on her chin.

“Hm. Maybe. I don’t know, it sounds like a play on lemon snout. We can’t just copy him- the yellow one is my favorite.” Terezi admitted, and Dave perked up.

“Oh, speaking of yellow things, check out what I have.” Dave put down the phone for a second, and got off the bed. In an instant, he had the gigantic yellow banana in his hands, and he lifted his phone up so Terezi could see it, in all of its yellow beauty. “Do you see what I’m holding?” He asked, and her eyes widened.

“Where did you get that?” She asked, and he smirked.

“We went to an amusement park. This thing is bigger than the human body- fucking insane, huh?” He asked, and she grinned.

“That’s pretty awesome, cool kid. Next time I come over, I want to see it. Why did they even have a giant banana?” She asked, and Dave shrugged.

“Why not?” He offered, and she nodded in satisfaction. Eventually, it was getting later, and Terezi decided to sign off for the night. John eventually finished dealing with Karkat too. He returned his phone to his lock screen, then looked outside. Dave was laying back on his bed, and he had earbuds in his ears. John gave him a shy look, and his gaze fell on their seashells from earlier. A soft smile fell on John’s face, and he looked back at his best friend. His gaze on the blonde was both content and appraising. John let out a miniscule sigh, one that Dave understandably didn’t notice.

He  looked back out at the world around them. The sun would set soon, and John was more than content to watch the colors change in the sky while he waited for the sun to fall, so he could quickly cover up the shades. After all, he didn’t want moonlight touching his best friend. If what Karkat was going through was accurate, John didn’t want things getting uncomfortable for his best friend. Especially after kissing Dave (an act that John decided not to think about) due to some honest confusion, John didn’t want to complicate things with his amazing friend. It’s why he decided against asking him the questions he was wondering about himself, and their interactions today. Instead, he just stared at the open sky for a while, and stared at the slowly changing colors.

He felt Dave before he heard him, or saw him. Dave bumped John’s hand, causing him to notice the shuffling beside him, and his best friend finally spoke as he filled in the spot next to him.

“Hey.” His voice was deep, and John leaned into him. Dave quickly moved into a comfortable position beside him, with his head nestled atop John’s head of fluffy hair.

“Hey.” John responded, the voice sounding softer in comparison. “I was just… watching the sunset. I have to be ready to close the curtains, right?” He asked, and Dave sighed.

“Yeah. Mind if I watch with you?” He asked, and John smirked.

“Well, we’re all comfy now, It’s not like you can just leave, now that I’m leaning on you.” Dave was silent for a second, and John sighed. “Yes, of course I want you to watch the sunset with me, Dave. Does it look the same, with your glasses?” John asked, and Dave shrugged.

“Pretty much. I mean, there’s not much that’s different without them. I guess things are a little darker, but nothing like a normal human’s would be.” He said flippantly, and John made a little sound, then fell into silence again. They sat there for a few minutes and watched the sky in a reflective sort of quiet, and neither could deny how nice it was. Dave inhaled when the sky drastically changed colors, and sighed again. John spoke up suddenly.

“I wish this could last forever.” John said, and Dave’s glance flickered down to his best friend, but he didn’t take the time to remove himself from John’s half grab. After all, they were pretty comfortable.

“This?” Dave asked, and John elaborated as much as he could.

“All of it. The view. The time. Us.” John said the last one a little quieter, but Dave heard it anyway.

“What do you mean, us?” John shrugged.

“I don’t know. Moments like these. With you being so… you know?” He offered, and Dave raised an eyebrow and snorted.

“What, quiet? Not an asshole?” He offered, and John’s serene smile widened.

“Wonderful. I think you’re like, my favorite person in the world.” John said, and Dave looked surprised.

“Really?” He asked, and John smiled up at him bashfully.

“Yeah.” They were silent for a while again, and Dave finally responded.

“Thanks.”  Eventually, they watched the last colors fade from the sky, and John quickly moved to close the curtain. He looked at Dave.

“Are you… good on the moon thing?” John asked, and Dave shrugged.

“Pretty much. I shouldn’t be acting irrational or anything, but… you don’t have any gigantic, open wounds, do you?” He asked, and John shook his head. Dave relaxed. “Good. I’m  going to-” The vampire cut himself off mid sentence, then released his hold on his glowing. His eyes shone red against his sunglasses, and Dave let his teeth grow out all of the way, which was thankfully weren’t too long yet. “Hey, sorry if this is weird, but if feels better.” John had been staring at his best friend, and his face flushed when he realized that the boy talked.

“Oh, what? Sorry, I didn’t... uh…” John’s sentence trailed off, and Dave rolled his eyes.

“I just wanted to make sure this wasn’t weird for you?” He asked, and John’s eyes widened.

“Weird? No, you’re so… cool.” John said, standing. “Can I… touch?” He asked, and Dave gave him a weird look.

“Touch? Why, I don’t feel any different. It’s not like I’m a painting, or some museum exhibit.” Dave said, a little sass in his tone, and John blinked, then looked down.

“Oh, right! I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to say it like that. I’ll just, um… want to see a movie?” John asked, and Dave gave him a look at the sudden topic change, and he shrugged.

“Sure, as long as it’s not Con Air.” John scoffed.

“Give me some credit, Dave! I watch more than that one movie.” He said, and the blonde raised an eyebrow in curiosity, then settled onto John’s bed. The other teenager promptly joined him.

“Oh yeah? Then what’s our movie for tonight?” He asked, and John grinned.

“Ghost Rider.” He said, and Dave’s groan made him laugh. Dave shook his head, but relaxed on the bed in preparation for the movie. The vampire felt John’s gaze linger on him for a second longer than average, before his eyes fell away from him and he looked down at the screen in front of him.

As they started the movie, John seemed to be really into it. He took the liberty of quoting a few lines, and he cheered when the protagonist, Johnny (Nic Cage), cleared his first motorcycle jump. As the movie progressed, John seemed engrossed in it, while Dave seemed to tolerate the film. He looked down at the screen, nodding when John got excited about something that, in his mind, had no right to captivate his attention the way it did. Dave had taken to watching John’s face instead of the movie, and found his excitable expression more interesting than whatever a flaming skull had to say.

“Dave, look! They’re going to kiss!” John said, and the two protagonists did. Dave watched the screen numbly, entirely unmoved by the scene. His red eyes flickered back to John, who turned his head smoothly enough for Dave not to question what he was looking at. Then, ten minutes later into the movie, curious blue eyes flickered to the side of his face, but when John caught Dave’s glance, he quickly looked back to the screen. Dave was a little surprised by the action, and he decided to look down at the screen again, hyper aware of John’s presence. It took less than a minute- John was watching him. He tried to do it a little inconspicuously, but the almost white haired vampire felt John’s eyes on him.

At first, he wasn’t sure why John was looking at him. He didn’t notice anything on his face, if that was it. Dave ran a hand over his cheeks and discovered that his face wasn’t home to some food particle from hours prior. Then, he realized. John was staring at him because of his transformation. His red eyes glowed under his sunglasses, rendering them useless.  Dave frowned at first. It wasn’t like John was doing anything wrong, but he didn’t like being regarded like something John wanted to touch, but couldn’t, just because of what he was. It made him feel abnormal, which he technically was, but the feeling was uncomfortable. He couldn’t change the fact that he was a vampire, but he didn’t want people treating him differently because of it. Especially John, whose eyes were glued on him. With a sigh, Dave removed his sunglasses from his face, and heard John inhale sharply.

“What?” He finally asked, and John looked at him, startled.

“What?” He asked, confused, and Dave sighed.

“What do you mean, what?” Dave asked him, and he noticed John’s gaze shift.

“Nothing. Nevermind.”

“No, what? What’s wrong?” Dave inquired suddenly, and John winced.

“Promise you won’t get weird.” John said, and Dave raised an eyebrow at him.

“Uh, dude. I think it’s a little late for that, I’m glowing.” John gave him an unimpressed look.

“That’s not weird. Promise you won’t be like, weirded out, or think of me differently if I say it? Like… I don’t know, never mind.” John said, and Dave gave him a look.

“Geez, I won’t get weirded out. Come on, spill the beans, Egbert.” Dave said, and John didn’t look at Dave’s face while he answered. He mumbled, and Dave frowned. “What? I couldn’t hear you.” John tried again, and Dave sighed. “Dude, you have to speak up.”

“I said your eyes were pretty, okay? I mean, like, not in a I’m-Secretly-Hitting-On-You way, I just can’t stop looking at them!” John announced, and Dave had the biggest grin on his face. John was staring at him… and just looking at him. Not thinking of ways to murder Dave, and not thinking about his teeth, or his weird, glowing skin, but his eyes. If he was ‘over’ John before (and uh, he wasn’t in the slightest, even if today’s events were really not great on either side), his hardcore crush came running back now. Nope, he was definitely into John even more than he was ten minutes ago, or ten seconds, or two days. Dave wanted to express it all to John, and explain how he felt about John’s words.

“Oh.” Was all he said, and John buried his face in his hands.

“No, never mind, forget I said anything, this is weird.” John said, and Dave’s eyes widened.

“No, no! It’s totally cool. Sorry, I was just surprised. You like them, huh?” Dave asked, and John looked t him.

“Dude, you know I like them. I just never really thought about how pretty… actually, forget that sentence. You look good, bro.” John commented, and Dave laughed.

“I don’t get why you say that though- I look like a demon or something.” Dave commented, and John’s lips fell into a displeased frown.

“No you don’t. Saying you look like a demon implies being evil, and you’re not. Yours just look different than that. They’re not unsettling, but they’re bright and startling. They reflect light, and it brightens up your entire face when I get to see them. They draw attention, and look beautiful, but maybe not exactly that. It’s like, ethereal. I think that’s the better word.” Dave’s eyebrows narrowed.

“I’m going to have to call a yellow card here, Egbert. I have no fucking clue what that means.” Dave said, and John brightened.

“It’s a compliment, I promise! It’s like.. actually, I’ll give you a better definition if I look it up, but basically, it means you look good. It’s more than that though.” John paused, and pulled out his phone. After doing a quick google search, he found the definition he was looking for. “Yeah, here it is. Extremely delicate and light in a way that seems too perfect for this world- that’s what I meant.” John said, and Dave felt blood rush to his cheeks more readily than ever.

“Oh… really? Too perfect for this world… you sure that’s the description you’re looking for?” Dave asked, and John gave him a goofy look.

“Hey, I said it seems too perfect for this world. And I mean your eyes, not you as a person. You’re not perfect, Dave. Obviously.” Dave rolled his eyes at his best friend.

“Oh yeah? Then what is it that makes me seem so good then, huh?” John put a hand on his chin, then swept back his hair and looked dramatically off into the distance.

“Perfect is boring. Your imperfections… are what make you beautiful.” John said, and they paused for a second, before Dave looked down at him playfully.

“Did you get that from tumblr or hot topic?” He asked, and John grinned.

“Both, actually. And hey, you shop at hot topic, you hypocrite.” John said, and Dave looked at him

“Hey, how did you know?” He asked, and John raised an eyebrow.

“I saw the tag on your jacket.”

“Why were you looking at the tag?” Dave questioned, and John shrugged.

“It’s always good to know your friend’s hoodie sizes, for the future.” John said, and Dave smirked.

“Sure, that’s it. Definitely not any ulterior motives here, I’m sure.” Dave said, and John wanted to respond, but a knock on their door led John to stand up and greet whoever was on the other side. Dave quickly moved out of sight.

“Oh, Hi Dad!” John said, and his father looked at him.

“Hello, John. I’ve come to suggest a ‘lights out’, since we’ll be leaving early tomorrow. Where is Dave?” The vampire reached for his sunglasses, and John pointed him out. John’s dad was understandably startled for a second, until he remembered that Dave wasn’t human. “Oh. Well, you heard me, so I guess I’ll wish you two goodnight.” He said, then paused for a second. “Good night, boys. I hope you have a wonderful, safe rest, and I’ll see you both at six. Also, make sure you’re packed.” He added, and John grinned.

“Thanks, Dad!”

“Thanks Mr. E, goodnight.” Dave responded, then turned around. His suitcase was already taken care of, along with John’s. Eventually, they decided to change into “Pajamas” and finish Ghost Rider. The two fell asleep mid movie on John’s bed, and enjoyed a peaceful night of slumber.

________________--

JAFNF Chapter 111

(Friday, April 30)

When Jade woke up the next morning, she recognized that she wasn’t on a bed first. As her senses faded in, her memories of the previous night did the same. After Karkat explained, over text, what exactly the moon would do to him and she promised not to read into whatever he sent her, she’d let her uncle know she was going out. As soon as the sun set in Washington, she was out on her island. After deciding that she’d spend the day (and night) there, Jade started by caring for her plants. They were doing well, and she already had bursts of color everywhere. The sight of her old room was enough to make her smile. While a pile of squiddles sat on one end of the room, she found all of her old horticulture out on the tables where she’d left it.

It felt good to be home again, even if her definition of the word expanded greatly since her last visits here. Really, with the project and the move, she hardly spent time here at all. Of course, it meant that she was missing a few things dearly, one of them being the giant ball of white fur that was her best friend. Jade decided that she’d go out and look for fresh meat. Buying it at the store just wasn’t the same, and if there was one thing that would lure Bec to her faster than anything, it was the smell of irradiated meat.

So, she decided to dust off the old gun and go on a hunt, for once. She loved doing it- it was one of the things that added excitement from her usually lonely life, and she couldn’t wait to do it again. So, with that mindset alone, Jade transported herself down to the basement, and located the gun wall. She decided against using her go- to, and instead moved to check out her oldies-but-goodies. She could use the most classic of her classic rifles, but decided against it. As she scanned the wall, she found a familiar red diamond on one, and excitedly hefted it off of the wall. It had been a while since she’d used this one, especially considering the affectionate title she’d offered it, though that was more because of a pun. Regardless, she was glad to have ‘Girl’s best friend’ in her hands again, and she immediately gripped it as if it were a familiar friend.

Jade used the teleporter and moved back to the outside, then grinned and started to head out. Hunting was really more fun this way, and since she was armed in clothing she didn’t mind getting a little dirty or ripped, Jade was more than ready to go.

Theoretically, she could have expedited the process immensely using her werewolf powers. After all, if she were to change her eyes, or even grow her ears out on her head, her vision and hearing would be sharper than it already was. Still, she was doing this for old time’s sake, and that meant doing it the old fashioned way. It would just be a girl and her gun, out here in the familiar yet changing jungle. Jade looked around for something that wouldn’t be too much of a hastle to prepare, but remained substantial. As a result, she found a somewhat small, meaty looking animal, and decided to track it.

She probably could have dragged the process out longer, but she really did want to hang out with Bec, so she decided that she’d spend less time tracking, and ended the animal as soon and painlessly as possible. In an instant, she took her prize and returned to her house, where the sun was still shining. With luck, she could have even hung out with Bec tonight as a wolf, provided that he was still around. Jade hummed to herself as she prepared, and once everything was made and cleaned to Bec’s standards, she prepared to go out and whistle. So, when she received Karkat’s innumerable texts and frantic warnings, she understood the moon problem he’d face, and eventually, went out to deliver Bec’s prize.

Jade walked a little farther into her forested paradise, and with a practiced lift of her fingers, whistled. It only took a few seconds before she could hear excited feet running towards her, and the grin on her face was unmistakable.

“Bec!” She’d cried happily, only for the dog to tackle her. After an enthusiastic greeting, Jade held hup the meat she’d prepared for him. “Do you want it?” She’d asked, her voice going into that playful tone she often used with her dog. “You want it, don’t you. Yes, you do, boy. Fetch!” She’d cried, and she threw the meat as far as her strength would allow her. Bec happily ran off after it, then jumped, and caught it mid air. He walked back over to her confidently, then devoured his prize in front of her. She grinned, and praise spilled out of her lips. “Good boy!” She offered, and Bec seemed to trot around her excitedly.

The gigantic white dog nuzzled his head into her leg, and at his whimper, Jade sighed.

“I’m sorry, I know it’s been a while. But I’ll be here all night, okay? I was working on a big project at Uncle Jake’s.” She explained, and Bec tilted his head to the side. A laugh bubbled out of her lips at the dog’s expression, and Jade grinned. “C’mon, boy. I’ll explain later- but first, you deserve a bath.” Bec stepped back cautiously, making a low, rumbling sound at the idea of getting wet. “Come on, it’s hot! Besides, you look all scruffy- let’s go inside.” She said, and Bec followed her in. She already knew where the necessary  dog cleaning materials were located, and she started running the water first, before skipping around the house to find what she needed.

Usually, bathing Bec was a calm affair. He’d enjoyed it most of the time, and Jade enjoyed making her first friend clean. So, when he had to be baited into entering the tub, Jade wondered what was different. Still, after that, things went off without a hitch, and she was putting shampoo though his layers of fur while absentmindedly updating him on what had happened.

“Apparently Latula’s a daemon- but she has something else too, and she’s a little human. I don’t know what it means, or who could have done it to her, but I guess I’ll have to tell Roxy when she gets back. I hope everything’s okay.” Jade said, her voice turning a little melancholy. Bec affectionately bumped her with his wet nose, causing a smile to fall on Jade’s face.

“Thanks, boy. I know I can count on you. You know, I really missed you. It’s nice being around all of these people, and Dirk too, but I miss getting to spend time with you- when you were around.” She added, her voice growing a little teasing. If the dog could have smirked he would, but Jade read his cocky expression like a book. “I wish you could see it though- there’s other people, everywhere! It’s more than me and PM now- there’s hundreds of them, everywhere! It’s so cool. You could never be lonely out there.”

Jade took a moment to look above her. Despite the fact that they were inside, there were windows everywhere, including on the celing.

“I wonder what made grandpa want to live here. I guess there’s more open space around- but he never went and saw anyone. What do you think, Bec?” She asked, turning to the dog. “You probably like it more here- more space to run around and hunt, and no sidewalks. Is that it, boy?” She asked, and Bec’s tail thumped inside the bathtub, spraying her with water. She giggled. “Bec, stop! I’ll get all wet!” She cried indignantly, but her protests only seemed to make his tail wag faster.

After a few minutes of shrieking and laughter, along with a few, deep sounding ‘Woof’s from her furry companion, Bec stopped. Jade eventually dried her dog off, satisfied that he was lavishly clean and comfortable. They hung out for a while after that, and eventually, the sun started to set. Jade looked back at Becqurel, a shy smile on her face.

“I’ll have to transform soon. Will you still be here?” She asked, and the dog didn’t do anything that counted as an answer. She sighed, expecting as much, and continued their leisurely walk through the jungles of her home. Jade watched the sun leave her sight from her favorite viewing point, where she absentmindedly scratched the dog’s ears. In seconds, she was on all fours, and after letting out a howl, she was a wolf. Jade regarded Bec, who didn’t seem at all concerned by her transformation. Jade… couldn’t say the same. She was hopped up on energy, the power in her feet making her want to run- and that was exactly what she did. After offering Bec a silent invitation to followe her, she began a trek through the greenery, looking for something to do.

After a while of excited running, she realized she felt hungry, and went fully into wolf mode there. She found prey, stalked it, and even managed to eat it raw. She was too high on ecstasy to wonder what it would do to her in the morning. Her howls were deep and carnal, and her actions were bestial- she loved it. The feeling was a huge rush all night long, and she was more than glad that there were no humans around to convert, because the urge to bite remained strong within her. She ran, she jumped, and she practically flew sometimes, but she was having fun, for hours.

Eventually, things quieted as the morning set in, and Jade laid down somewhere random in the wooded area to take a rest. After all, she felt as if she deserved it, and after playing with Bec for a while, her transformation was due to wear off. Jade laid down, huddled and silent, and she took the chance to sleep. In all, she’d had a productive, fun night, and she couldn’t wait to see Bec again.

When Jade woke up the next morning, on Washington time of course, she wasn’t surprised that Bec was gone, and she still wore her somewhat wet clothing directly afterwards. As she sat up, she decided to make her trek towards her home again, and pick some fruit on the way there. She missed the fresh fresh stuff after all, and there were certain berries that didn’t come as often in Washington as they did here. So, Jade walked among the trees, finding a few random fruits that she liked and carrying them back to her home. The girl rinsed them off in the sink, and fed herself a fulfilling breakfast.

After that, she decided to visit the old lab again, and looked at the test tubes affectionately. She knew how to use every piece of technology in the area, and looked through her folder of long abandoned projects and doodles. When she saw one that intrigued her- giant fruit, an idea she’d scrapped at the age of ten, Jade decided she would try it again. So, she mixed her way through a solution or two, then grabbed a few seeds she had lyring around. Back then, she hadn’t known as much as she did now. After a little mixing and matching, (plus, an accidentally memorized genetic code or two), Jade typed a few things into the operating computer of the area, and started mixing up the results.

The gmo garden she’d created was thriving well, and the area was huge. After all, she didn’t want any accidental seed mixing. So, she chose a spot far away from the other presumably safe plants, and took her time planting. After getting the groundwork (ha, ha) laid out, she decided to expedite the process as much as she could. Still, there was something about growing plants that just took time- which meant that Jade needed to visit often to track this thing’s success. With that little project taken care of, thoughts of her uncle clouded her mind.

He probably knew why she left, but he definitely didn’t know when she was coming back, and Jade wanted to see him again. Taking a vacation in paradise, for her at least, was fun, but she was still a social creature, and Bec couldn’t always provide those firey comebacks she’d come to look forward to hearing in other people. Plus, she hadn’t spoken to Rose yet, and Jade tried to make it a habit to talk to the girl as often as possible. With that in mind, Jade decided she would return to Jake’s home for something fun to do. So, with a sad goodbye to her dog and a promise to visit again, Jade took one last watering of her plants. The girl placed (Diamonds are) A Girl’s best friend back on the weapon wall, and with one last look at her home for most of her seventeen years, she returned.

The first thing she did was shower. After all, the werewolf transformation hadn’t filtered out the twigs in her hair, or the dirt on her skin. When she came out and dried off, a step onto her wardrobifier had her ready in mere seconds, if not only because she picked random. She knew it wasn’t always the best idea, but today she found a comfortable outfit, and decided to roll with it. After brushing her teeth and preparing for the day, she crept into the outer upstairs area. When she saw a head of spiky blonde hair, Jade grinned, and prepared for a sneak attack. Dirk moved suddenly, and called out.

“Jake? If it’s you, I know you’re there. This is your house, you can’t sneak up on me and think I won’t expect it.” He commented, and Jade tried to muffle her nervous giggle. Dirk heard it though, and a smirk made his face light up. “Is someone there?” Dirk asked again. He took a chance and looked up, and Jade had to muffle her giggles. In the few seconds it took for him to keep speaking again, Jade crept downstairs, and launched her attack.

She expected to tackle Dirk to the ground, so when he caught her in a hug and lifted her by her arms in a smooth motion, she was alarmed.

“Hey!” He said, and he looked up at her.

“Hey, looks like you got me.” Dirk said, and the playfulness in his tone made Jade grin.

“Definitely, that’s why you’re holding me up like I’m the lion king or something, right?” Jade asked, and he grinned.

“Would you rather I do… this?” He asked, spinning her around. Despite herself, Jade let out a laugh.

“Eee, Dirk! Put me down!” She half shrieked and half spoke, and after a few seconds, the taller blonde complied. His pointy sunglasses stayed on, and she smiled up at him, then grabbed him into a hug.

“Your wish is my command, pumpkin.” He said, and once Jade let go, he put a hand in her hair. “Did you just wake up, or something? I didn’t know you were here.” He said, and Jade nodded.

“I wasn’t! I went back to my island, yesterday and spent the night there, since I was going all werewolf anyway. I got to hang out with Bec!” She announced, and Dirk nodded.

“Sounds fun. You have any plans for today?” He asked, and Jade sighed.

“Nope, not yet. Maybe I’ll just go get lost somewhere? Or people watch? Or call Callie?I can do pretty much… anything.” She said, and he raised an eyebrow.

“Well, anything legal for someone that’s seventeen. I don’t want to bail you out of Jail because you don’t know how speeding works.” Dirk said, and Jade put a hand on her hips.

“Hey! I’ve never done that. At least, not while any policemen were around. It’s just nice to go fast sometimes. Anyway, what are you doing today?” She asked, and he shrugged.

“Actually, Jake and I were going to review some files from a hunt a while back. Actually, it was the one that ended with Latula coming.” He clarified, and Jade nodded with enthusiasm.

“Oh, yeah! That sounded fun.”

“Yeah.” He added. “We’ve already filtered through most of it, but there was still a section we never finished. After that though, I have no idea what we’ll do.”

“So, where’s Uncle Jake now?” Jade asked, and, as if it were on cue, he appeared.

“Tally ho, mates! Jade, it’s just the bee’s knees to see you back again, how was your transformation?” He asked, and she grinned.

“Good! Bec and I had fun.” She concluded, and he smiled at her.

“That’s just wonderful to hear. Anyway, would you like to get started? I’ve always got a hankering for some good review.” He said, and Jade giggled at his word choice, but Dirk looked at him confidently.

“Hm, I’ve always got a hankering for you.” He said, and Jade grinned up at Dirk.

“Ooh, smooth! High five!” She said, and Dirk gladly slapped her hand. Jake looked a little flustered, and he cleared his throat.

“Sorry, couldn’t resist. Sure though, we should get started- of, and Jade, we’re looking at the stuff I recorded from the lab, if you want to see it with us? Maybe you can give some insight from the set up, or something.” He said, and Jade shrugged. It’s not like she had much else to do. So, she sat between Dirk and Jake on the couch, and they looked through the footage they’d picked up. They went through the papers Dirk had seen on the table with as much intricacy as they could, from the information in his glasses. Jade couldn’t identify the chemicals in the beaker, and she hadn’t concluded anything new about Latula’s holding area. For all the information in this lab, it took them a while to find anything of value, and after sitting there for what could have been more than an hour, Jade finally noticed something that caught her eye. She saw the periodic table on the wall, and did a double take.

“Wait, what is that?” She asked, pressing a pause button. Dirk shrugged.

“We guessed it was a periodic table, but we couldn’t identify the language. Why, got something cool to tell us?” He asked, and Jade nodded.

“Maybe. Hold on, I’ll be back in a second!” She ran up the stairs and teleported away to her island. After landing in the middle of the lab, she located a few of the textual recources, and thumbed through the scientific library. After a little searching, she found what she was looking for. The book was gigantic and old, and it was one of the ones her grandfather said didn’t relate to her studies. Still, she remembered looking into it in boredom as a child, then finding she didn’t understand a single word. She hadn’t known what it meant then, but it sparked a question or two about her grandfather. Now, she recognized the symbols, and they seemed similar to the ones on that they had in that room. In an instant, she was back at Jake’s house, book in hand. Jade practically threw herself at the men.

“Ah, Jade! Where did you bamboozle off to in such a hurry?” Jake asked, and her eyes filled with urgency.

“Here! I’ve seen the symbols somewhere else- it’s in here. I can’t read anything in the book, but my grandfather could.” She hastily flipped through the pages. The whole book seemed to have a journal like layout instead of a textbook, and she found a few symbols scattered over the course of the pages. It took her a while, but she found it.  “Here, it’s on this page. These are the same things, right?” She asked, and Dirk scanned the inked page and the “periodic table”.

“Pretty sure, yeah. You think this could have some more information on it?” Dirk asked, and Jade nodded.

“I think so, but I can’t read any of it- and it’s so old, I doubt we’d find it on the internet. Still, I don’t know how we’re going to figure out what it says- these symbols aren’t English or any other common language in code. Still, I feel like if we could read it-”

“We could figure out what those wankers were doing. But where would we start? We can’t even identify this- you said your grandfather could read it?” He asked, and Jade nodded. “Jade, do you know anyone he talked to- or anyone that would know about all of this?” He asked, and Jade thought about it, but sighed.

“No. We’ve never had any visitors to the island, except for international mail carriers, and they wouldn’t know anything. But he never talked to anyone. I’m sure he continued his business somehow, but I’ve never heard him talk to anyone but me.” She said, and Dirk blinked.

“Wait, so before meeting us, you’d never seen another person, besides him?” Jade shook her head.

“No! I met PM, and that other guy, pretty briefly. So, I guess she counts too. And I studied biology, I just never really did the physical act of talking to someone- besides Grandpa. Since PM was mute, we didn’t really speak out loud much, but she did tell me that she used to be a mailman, and-” Jade cut herself off. “Wait! Wait! She used to be a mail man. She was experimented on too, and she’s got some crazy power thing- maybe she’d know something about this?” Jade asked, and Dirk looked at Jake. The decidedly more British man put a hand on his chin.

“I suppose it’s worth a shot. Could you give’r the old ring, Jade?” He asked her, and Jade wanted to, but she frowned.

“I lost track of her. She told me she’d be here if I needed her, but…” Jade said, and Dirk looked at her.

“You know her first and last name?”

“Yeah, Peregrene Meyers. She’s probably a mail carrier?” John asked, and Dirk nodded.

“Okay. Hal, locate Patricia Meyers, filter, mail, filter, United States.” He said, and his glasses did it. He looked down at the computer, willing it to make the search results appear, and it did. In an instant, they had ten results, which really wasn’t bad considering the boadness of the query. “Any of these look like our lucky lady?” he asked, and Jade found her face.

“There! This is her- PM. If anyone would know about it, it would be her- but we’d have to text her. She’s mute. That… won’t be a problem, right?” Jade asked, and Dirk shook his head.

“No, I’ve got it. I can mention your name in there, right?” He asked, and Jade nodded. Dirk thought a few words to send to the number, and they were there.

“All good?” Jade asked, and Dirk nodded.

“All we can do now is wait.”

_________________

AN: What is this? A chapter that’s only 7 pages long again? I thought I’d never see the day. Anyway, I was going to do some Jade/Dirk bonding time, but I decided to kick the plot forward, because just because there’s romance afoot dosen’t mean these guys can’t still kick arse. With that in mind, I’ll smell ya later, homestucks. Also, I’m heading right back into school times now. So uh, for the story, it’ll be end of the year projects and hopefully Terezi and John fights until Dave confesses.Or John. You never know!

~ST OUT!

JAFNF Chapter 112

(Monday, May 3 rd )

When Dave put his stuff down at the lunch table, he wasn’t sure what exactly he was expecting. Maybe some casual conversation about their separate breaks. He may have been expecting Karkat to yell at him for something stupid, or for Equius to sweat profusely. Of course, he did get all of these things, but May Santa decided to gift him something else for his troubles. The gift? Nepeta greeting him that day… nervously. They were the only two at the table so far, because everyone else’s classes were farther away. Now, he wasn’t sure why exactly it felt so foreign to him. It could have been the fact that he just didn’t know Nepeta well, but she usually greeted most people with energy and pep in every word and step.

That wasn’t what she was like today, at all. She looked worried, nervous even. The small girl looked up at him, discomfort on her features. Dave waited for her to say something, but she looked like she was struggling. Now, Dave had a tendency to be curious, in the worst situations. That said, he wanted Nepeta to look a little less awkward, and say whatever she had on her mind. No one else was there yet anyway- so, he decided to talk.

“Hey, Nepeta.” He said casually, and she grinned.

“Hi, Dave. How was your break?” She asked, her voice sounding a little off. Dave wanted to cast a look at John before remembering that he hadn’t arrived yet.

“It was good, and yours?” He asked, and she grinned.

“It was just the cat’s meow. So um, I think something happened that you should maybe know?” She said, and Dave looked down at her, worry etched on his features.

“Maybe? Uh, what… is it?” He asked, tense. She seemed to hesitate for a second, but her words rushed out of her mouth.

“You know how your brother had a robot you?” She asked, and he nodded, uneasily. “Well, Equius helped make… this.” She said, holding up her phone. It was a selfie of Davebot, but it wasn’t. He... She? They? They had some of Nepeta’s hair and hand claws, while retaining Dave’s sunglasses. The once orange eyes on the robot glowed green, and they looked like a mixture between the two people.

“What is-”

“They call themselves Davepetabot. I think Equius mixed in my personality while they remade Davebot, so that he could be happier… and now they are.” She said, and Dave looked at her.

“So, it’s like me. But also like you, and smashed into one robot body?” He asked, and Nepeta put her phone away.

“I, um, think so. They sent me a text, telling me to call them Davepeta. They said they’d existed for a few weeks now, but weren’t sure when to say hi… until now.” She said, and Dave put a hand on his head.

“I… I think I need to sit down.” He collapsed on one of their lunch table’s bench seats, and Nepeta put a hand on his back, sympathetically.

“Yeah, I had to um… think about it fur a while. But I think they’re happy now.” She said, and Dave looked at her.

“But both of us, in one body. Together. That was the only way they could figure out how to make him happy?” Dave asked, and Nepeta nodded.

“I think Davebot was really… depressed. Or something, Equius didn’t explain the details, but he said my personality was the best one he knew to balance it together. I don’t really… get it. But I think this was the best option they could take.” She said, and Dave put his hands over his red eyes.

“That’s… kind of fucked up.” He said, and Nepeta rubbed her arm with discomfort.

“Um, I think.. yeah. It’s different, but I think they want me to meet them? Maybe not you, because you didn’t get the text, but, um.” She tried, and Dave nodded.

“No, it’s cool. I just… that’s definitely something to think about, damn.” Dave commented, and Nepeta sighed. “Thanks for telling me. I actually have no fucking clue how to deal with this, shit. I mean, I  know you, but not well enough to… Fuck, I don’t know. Fuck.” Dave said, and Nepeta looked at him.

“Are you scared?” She asked, and she looked away, answering her own question timidly. “I think I am, kind of. I had a little longer to think about it, but. Um.” She said, and Dave looked at her.

“How fucked up would it be if I told you I was curious? Like, mortified, but curious?” He asked, and she shrugged.

“I am too. They sounded worried about meeting you, but if you want, they’re supposed to appear at my house after school, if you want to meet them.” She said, and Dave nodded.

“Yeah. Fuck. I think I actually need to go think about this, fuck. Uh, where can I find you if I decide to go?” He asked, and she looked at him.

“Equius always drives me, but we meet outside on the benches near the parking lot, if you want. I’ll be there.” She said, and Dave nodded.

“Yeah. Okay. Thanks… yeah.” He said, and Nepeta sighed. Equius put a tray down beside the two, and it only had milk on it. Strange lunch choices aside, he looked at Dave and Nepeta.

“Good afternoon, you two. How were your breaks?” He asked nonchalantly, and Nepeta cast a worried look at Dave, who’d sobered enough from the strange realization to make himself stop asking himself questions and talk to Equius normally. In fact, it worried Nepeta that she couldn’t tell how messed up Dave felt right now, with how normally he conversed and looked.

“I had a bomb ass fucking time with John. You?” He asked, and while Equius felt himself sweat at the profanities, he answered.

“I seem to have encountered a mostly pleasant break, despite certain… complications.” He said, and John came bounding in, pulling Karkat along with him, who growled in distaste.

“Come on Kitkat, they’re all already there!” John was monumentally more exicted. He’d received his first note since spring break, and he asked the mystery person to tell John about themselves. It was starting to get fun to recive these, although he desperately wanted to find out who they were.

“Egbert, you thresh-”

“Wait, Damara?” John asked, looking at the Asian girl that stood behind Equius. After seeing her for a second, his hopeful eyebrows fell. “Oh, sorry. Wrong person, Aradia. Hey.” He said, causing everyone to turn and look towards the girl. Aradia, who stood a few inched from Equius, sighed.

“Hello, everyone. Equius, can I talk with you?” She sounded upset. Equius blinked, before his cheeks flushed and he stumbled over his words.

“Of course- I mean, yes. It would suffice for you to- fiddlesticks, let’s go in the hall.” He said, and looked back at his friends. “Excuse me everyone. I’ll be just outside.” He said, and Nepeta looked up at Aradia in confusion and surprise, then back at her best friend.

“Oh okay Equitty. Um, enjoy.” Nepeta said, and even Karkat looked surprised at the interaction.

“That was out of the ordinary.” Karkat said, and John agreed.

“Yeah, I don’t see Aradia around much- she probably needed homework or something.” John dismissed it easily, and both Dave and Karkat seemed to have their surprise- at least at the encounter, eased. Nepeta’s eyes remained on the door, and she seemed worried. The table’s conversation grew idle before John saved them from minutes of awkward silence. “So uh, how was your break, Nepeta?” He asked, and she looked up, startled, before answering.

“Good! I had fun, what about you, Karkitty? I already know John went on vacation.” She supplemented, and Karkat shrugged.

“It was alright. Is anyone else not excited for the start of fucking crunch time?” He asked, and Dave looked at him.

“What the fuck is that?” He asked, and John answered for him.

“It’s when teachers decide that they need their bonuses more than students need sleep, so you have three weeks of tests, quizzes, projects and review before finals. It’s a really stinky time at the end, trust me.” Karkat rolled his eyes.

“Yeah, it’s kind of the absolute maggot weaving shitfest of a time you can have in school, then you get finals and get the hell out. Personally, I think it sucks, but who the fuck knows? It’s when you have to keep all your grades high, or else you’ll fail. That’s pretty much a fact.” Karkat said, and John looked at him slyly.

“I’d bet you would know, huh kitkat?” He said, and when Karkat took a deep breath, Dave tuned him out. His stare turned to Nepeta, whose eyes still stayed on the door. He saw her uncharacteristically worried- and Dave looked at her.

“Don’t worry, Nepeta. He’ll be fine.” Dave commented, and the girl looked back at him, startled, before nodding.

“Thanks, Dave.” In seconds, Equius walked through the cafeteria doors again, flustered, while Aradia went back to wherever she was sitting. Equius looked at Nepeta, conspicuously mouthed ‘later’, and tuned into John and Karkat’s conversation. John, waved at Equius as he entered the scene, but continued picking through Karkat’s rambles to discover what he was actually trying to say.

Most people had trouble with it, but after being friends with Dave for years, he’d learned to blur out the creative language and focus on the meat of the matter- except with Karkat, half of his swears didn’t make sense, so he could use that against him. Really, talking with almost all of his friends was like a conversational sword fight. Whether it was Rose’s loquatious language or Dave’s long riddles, or sitting there listening to Karkat’s creative swears, John realized that most of his friends would be really, really difficult people to talk to in any situation. Really, Jade was the only exception- and that was only after she’d grown out of talking in riddles, as if she were some meta character in a videogame offering the players hints.

“I don’t care what you say, Karkat! Adam Sandler will never be good. Seriously, I can’t understand  why you like him!” John responded, and Karkat fired back a response.

“Then clearly, there’s no point in having a conversation with a close- minded asshole breeder that can’t even extend the full use of 10 percent of his festering, toddler level brain capacity to actually listen to a well crafted argument and make his decisions from a fucking neutral perspective!”

“Dude, there’s no way I can have a neutral perspective after seeing pixels. The premise for that movie was awesome, and all of the lines that were supposed to be charming came out making Sandler sound like, surprise, an asshole that somehow gets attractive women to like him. He’s like that in all of his movies, without exception.” Karkat bit his lip. He was right- Pixels wasn’t half as good as anyone hoped it would be.

“Well, your statement, that he’s an asshole that gets attractive girls for no reason isn’t true. In Grown ups, he was already married.” He said, and John narrowed his eyes at him.

“You mean the movie that spent half the film objectifying women through jokes and the other half making middle aged men fight college kids in an attempt to be funny?” John asked, and Karkat winced.

“Okay, I think that analysis is a little unfair. They did some admittedly funny childlike stunts in those movies- like the thing with the guy in the tire? In the second one.”

“That ended on a gross out joke.” John commented. “Look, Karkat, you can try to defend him all you want-”

“The wedding singer.” Karkat responded, and John frowned.

“Give me two more.” John said, “And I can give you double that he was bad in.” John said, and Karkat raised an eyebrow.

“The waterboy. 50 first dates.”

“Okay, the waterboy was marginally okay. Like, not even good. But uh, Mr. Deeds and little Nicky.” John responded, and Karkat smirked. The match had started, and Adam Sandler movies were his home turf.

“Bulletproof and Airheads!” He said, and John looked at him.

“Something that was made after the 90’s, please. Like.. Zookeeper.” John smiled evily, and Karkat looked at him.

“Hey, that was the mall cop guy, not him!”

“He was in that too, and he was an asshole. What about the hot chick, or either of grown ups?”

“What about the cobbler, or Punch Drunk love- or need I remind you, reign over me?” Karkat asked, smirking. John faltered for a second- but he couldn’t lose his belief now.

“You could give me all of those movies combined, and nothing will equal this next one I tell you. With this one to his name, there’s no way I could ever be unjustified in my opinion.” Karkat frowned.

“Oh. Really. Well enlighten me, dipshit. Show me your ace in your hole, and what could possibly tarnish the star of 50 first dates. I mean, come on.” Karkat said, and John looked at him.

“Jack and Jill.” He stared directly at Karkat’s eyes, and the vampire sputtered.

“That- he-”

“Nothing. Even you have to admit that it was garbage of the worst variety, Karkat.” John said, and Karkat sighed.

“Maybe. Still, he was pretty good in most of his stuff. You know he voice acted hotel translyvenia?” He asked, and John rolled his eyes.

“I don’t count that, at all. Neither should you.” He said, and Karkat raised his hands.

“I’m just saying, Egbert. Anyway, I think we just excluded the hell out of everyone else here… sorry.” He said, and John looked at the table. To his surprise, Dave smirked.

“No, you kidding? It’s actually interesting as fuck to watch you guys scream over movies. Keep going.” Dave said, and John shoved him, but Equius spoke up.

“In truth, his words are quite factual. I find it more than entertaining to watch you two. Your passion is quite refreshing- wouldn’t you agree, Nepeta?” He asked, and she nodded.

“Yeah, you two are purretty cool.” She said, and the comment caused Karkat to look at her in surprise. Dave looked towards her, his eyes covered by his sunglasses, and John and Karkat shared a look. John noticed Dave’s half smile twitch, and his eyebrows furrowed.

“Are… Are you guys okay?” John asked, and Dave arched a perfect eyebrow at him.

“Who, me?” He asked, and Karkat clarified.

“You and Nepeta.. and you too Equius. Does this have to do with whatever the fuck Aradia said, or something?” Dave looked back at his two questioning friends.

“I have no idea what went on with Aradia.” He said, and Karkat frowned. His eyes turned to Equius.

“Was she being an ass to you? No specifics necessary.” He added, and Equius frowned.

“Well, I would regret to say-”

“Equius, answer the question.” His words were commanding, and Equius felt himself began to sweat, despite himself.

“No, she wasn’t.” Karkat relaxed, a little.

“Good. Nepeta, what about you?” Karkat asked, and she looked down.

“I just… I’m just thinking a lot today.” She said, and Karkat frowned. Dave’s head turned away from the usually excitable girl. She sounded so… not… Nepeta. Even an upset Nepeta sounded like a Nepeta, but this? He wasn’t sure what she was thinking about, but if he knew one way to get things off the girl’s mind, it was what he’d try.

“Why, did Tavros ask you out or something?” He asked, and she looked up at him, surprised.

“What? No? Tavros is a close furrend of mine.” She said, and Karkat rolled his eyes.

“Sure. Well, I fucking ship it. Have you been keeping your wall up to date?” He asked, and she shook her head, her eyes brightening a little.

“Nyo! I’ve been so busy, I haven’t even added you and Jade! I haven’t done one since… Damara and John? Wow!” She said, surprised at herself. Karkat looked at her, a little relief in his features. She seemed to be bouncing back, at least a little.

“Okay, what about theoretical ones though? I’m talking less than 50% canon here.” He said, and she scooted up in her seat.

“Well, besides you and John, not much! Oh, but there’s always Jade and Callie to consider, and Callie and Tavros- or even Equitty, and-”

“No.” The stronger male said, and Nepeta pouted.

“Equitty, you always do this! Dave, doesn’t he always shut down my ships? Even you’re cool with them, no matter how unlikely.” She said, and Dave shrugged.

“I try not to think too much about endless possibilities- makes me think about timelines, and then I get fucking headaches. Still, I say ship what you want, Nepeta.” He said, and Nepeta grinned.

“For that, I’m adding you and me to the list!” She said excitedly, and when John saw Dave’s expression, he giggled.

“Hey, no laughing Egbert, she’s got you down for some raunchy ones. “He said, and John raised an eyebrow, then grinned.

“Hey, no worries Karkat, you already said she put down me and you. It can’t get worse than that, right?” He asked, and Karkat didn’t even curse.

“Au contraire, Egbert. Try you and Mr. English… and I remember you and Terezi pretty clearly. Actually, Wasn’t that pretty high on the probability?” Karkat asked, ad Nepeta shrugged.

“I think it goes in the same type of category as Sol-hiss and Equitty. Like, anti romance, but with kissing- in that cat-egory, I’m purretty sure the purrobablitiy was 98 percent? Fur just feelings though, none of you would ever confess it.” John looked dumbfounded and stricken, and Dave snorted at his face. “Ooh, and Dave! I still have my fur-ingers crossed for you and John! Or with Karkitty, that would be cute. Even Tavros!” She announced, and Dave felt heat hit his skin as he tried to avoid looking at Karkat and John.

“Uh, right.” Was all he could say, and Nepeta looked at Karkat.

“Oh, and besides you, Karkitty, with everyone at this table and Jade, which is canon, there’s always that purretty smart girl- Rose? John’s sister?” She asked, and John waved his hand from side to side.

“I’ve known her for long enough for it to count.”

“Oh, no. Like hell am I marrying into your Eglonde family, no fucking thanks. I have a girlfriend, and if I had to be related to you, I’d let a stampede of disgusting musclebeasts trample my thinkpan first, letting me reside in the sweet abyss of being 6 feet under. Karkat fucking Vantas would rather die Lion King style than be related to either half of your batshit, cake baking family, John.” He said, and John looked at him.

“What? It wouldn’t be that bad, Kitkat. I think you’d have to fight Kanaya for Rose though, so I hope you don’t need the two halves of your body together or anything. That girl can use a chainsaw for more than topiaries. ” John said, and Dave smirked.

“She’d cut Karkat in half with the chainsasw, then give him a bandaid and neo sporrin.” Dave said, and Karkat shuddered.

“I can’t imagine a fucking thing about that scenario that would be fucking enjoyable in the slightest. And like I said, I’d rather die than marry into your fucking family, Fashionable chainsaw mom friends or not. I decidedly don’t want to get pranked to death on April fool’s.” He said, and John shrugged.

“Stinks for you, my dad bakes a good apple pie. I think it was mom’s recipe though, so I could make it if I tried.” John said, and Dave looked up in interest.

“What?” He asked, and Karkat rolled his eyes.

“Well, fucking thank you for getting out of shit-beat Strider daydream land and joining us, douchebag. What element of our conversation summoned you from your half pint brain realm?” He asked, and Dave shrugged.

“I heard apple pie.” The blonde said, and John grinned, while Nepeta giggled, and Equius shook his head.

“You sure did. I can make that.” John said confidently, and Dave looked at Karkat.

“Dude, Marrying into Egbert’s family would be worth it as fuck for that pie. I don’t care if I’m stuck as John’s sugar daddy or some bullshit porn star relationship, it would work itself out over good ass apple fucking pie.” Dave said, and John beamed.

“See, someone gets it.” He said proudly, and looked at Karkat. “So, did that description do anything for you, Karkat? Reconsidered anything yet?” John asked, and Karkat made eye contact with Nepeta. The girl giggled and shook her head, and Karkat smirked at her, then rolled his eyes.

“Yeah, Egbert, it convinced me that you’re fine with letting other people buy everything for you. Nice little tidbit of information for the friends list, don’t you think?” Karkat asked, and John shrugged.

“I don’t actually let people buy things for me.” Dave snorted.

“Yeah, you just take sweatshirts, not payment.” John’s ears burned, and he looked at his blonde friend.

“Dave! You said you were okay with it, it doesn’t count!” John said, and Dave smirked.

“Sure, Egbert.” Nepeta looked back and forth between the two.

“You… Dave pays you in sweatshirts?” She asked John, and John sighed.

“Now that Dave’s shared it, it was just twice! Both times, I didn’t have anything to wear, and his sweatshirt was there. It’s not weird. And it’s not like I’m stealing them and sniffing them- he let me! Or at least, he did the second time. Actually, I think it’s still in my suitcase. I can give it back to you tomorrow.” John said, but Dave shook his head.

“Nah, it’s cool. You already washed it for me that one time, you can use it whenever. If you want, you can just hand it back whenever I come over- You know I don’t mind sharing.” Dave said- then looked at John. “As long as you give me that pie sometime in the future, like damn. I actually want it.” John nodded, disregarding the looks Karkat gave Nepeta and Equius’ decidedly polite semblance of not “listening in”.

“It’s a deal.” John said, and Dave nodded at him. John caught the word Karkat mouthed towards Nepeta- clueless- and she glanced at him, then nodded, a smile that almost seemed sympathetic on her face. John beamed at the fact that she seemed to be feeling better, and it looked as if Dave and Equius’ dispositions improved as well. In the end, that was how their friend group worked. Some were closer than others, but as long as everyone was doing okay, that was more than enough for John.

_______________

AN: Thar she blows, there’s the end. Sweatshirt sharing is cool.

JAFNF Chapter 113

(Monday, May 3 rd )

When John finally returned home, the first thing he did was send his obligatory texts to both Jade and Rose for the day, since he hadn’t seen them in person. After a pair of equally pleasant conversations, Rose signed off to go study, reminding John to do the same. The blue eyed boy buried his head in class notes, recalling things from the beginning of the semester. He travelled through his homework fairly quickly, then even moved to practice that one piano piece he’d been struggling with. Roxy came in midway and listened, and when he finished an almost perfect (he’d missed a few keys) run through, she clapped and congratulated him. Despite having zero experience in the music field, she could recognize when something sounded nice, and the way John’s fingers caressed the keys made her nod in appreciation. John smiled at the praise, and eventually, she left.

As she closed the door, John continued playing. The room faced a window, and he noticed a flash of red, supposedly coming from the outside. Thinking that it was a car or something, John played on. As his eyes swept around the room, he noticed a crumpled piece of notebook paper. Surprised, he stood from his bench and unfolded it. John wasn’t sure what he was expecting, but definitely not what he got.

“Hey, I hope you had a good break! For that hangman game, good move. You got one. You asked me to tell you about myself, so I’ll do that.” John grinned, and continued reading. “I guess I’m pretty cool. I’m not human, and I like rap. Actually if you knew who I was, you’d probably know that already. But whatever. You can guess what I am, if you want. I don’t fucking know. Anyway, suggest more letters this time.” John grinned and wrote in a few more. After inventing a response and guessing that the sender was a ghost, John went back to what he was doing. It was an exercise he’d been getting into- doing a random one he found on the internet, playing it without previewing it, and eventually listening to what it was supposed to sound like. It usually served as a gauge for his skill level.

It went about as well as you’d expect. It wasn’t as if John was a prodigy or anything. That said, he seemed to get the main melody of the song. As he reached the conclusion, John heard a little, appreciative sigh. He wouldn’t have even noticed it if he’d been playing the piano. Tentatively, he looked around the room. Of course, no one was there- the only thing behind him was a closet. John paused for a second, then decided that the sound probably came from his own mouth. He listened to the piece, and found himself a little surprised by its upbeat sound. Of course, it came with a few other instruments in the background, but it sounded nice.

His father wasn’t home yet, and Roxy was in her room. With little left to do that John actually wanted (because technically, he could have run through one of his hundred sets of flash cards), the blue eyed boy found himself browsing youtube. Dave crossed his mind, and as he aimlessly typed things in the search bar, he found himself wondering what the blonde was up to. John decided that they should hang out- possibly after training on Saturday.  He still wasn’t sure how Davepeta would interact with Dave, or Nepeta, for that matter. Then again, they didn’t seem explicitly interested in dealing with the humans (or, human and vampire at least) that they were based off.

Davepeta wasn’t present in his room, and the fact actually didn’t surprise John. The robot was usually in and out when it came to living in the Egbert household. Davepeta assured John they were fine, and always appeared during training, so John never worried. Plus, Dikr had taken the liberty of combining Davebot’s usual method of fighting with whatever Nepeta apparently did. The change in fighting style had been a fun thing to attempt to get used to, and John still couldn’t fathom how the robot switched from an arm slash to one with a sword in such a fluid motion. Even better, Davepeta still had all of Davebot’s usual mechanisims, and they weren’t afraid to use flying to their advantage. John didn’t just train to fight against supernaturals any more. With his trusty hammer in hand, he’d gotten better and better. At times, even Jake requested a session or two with Davepeta, and when they felt like they were up for a challenge, John placed them on level T and told them to fight all three of them. The result was a ridiculously fun team-building fight, where the robot effortlessly kicked all of their butts.

His mind turned back to Dave again. John wondered what the cool blonde was even doing, but not enough to leave his position and send him a text, or something. He found himself scrolling though the endless youtube videos, and saw that his suggestions came in a variety of topics. John didn’t want to see any. Instead, he tried to recall the various videos he’d been told to watch over time, and decided that he’d actually do it. With a sigh, he remembered the first thing that popped up in his mind… something titled “Welcome to Hell”. John gave it a try with the hope that it would at least be funny.

Twenty-ish minutes later of an enigmatic ghost demon and an apathetic protagonist had him smiling in that light, serene way that people did when they’d enjoyed something. He grinned when he remembered Jde’s comment- Dave definitely acted like the apathetic protagonist would, and he could see himself in the other kid, Sock’s shoes. Well, personality wise. He doubted he could kill his parents and himself. Cute stories aside, John went through the list of things that people had recommended for him. After spending a few minutes on memes, learning about a barbecue foot massage (through the power of song, no less) and reliving his middle school glory days with Tobuscus animations, John found himself absentmindedly typing something else in. He’d searched for ‘Redglare’, the context of the recommendation oddly distant in his mind. When the results appeared, he found a channel, and to his surprise, it didn’t have some unheard of number of subscribers.

It was then John knew. He fucked up. Well, not really, but he suddenly remembered what exactly he was clicking on. This was Dave’s forbidden internet haven, and the one John promised not to look at. The curiosity that had died down since their trip returned, and John found himself looking at the channel in surprise. He should have clicked away the second he remembered what it was, but John’s hands remained over the computer’s mouse.

The boy bit his lip. He’d promised… but what could Dave have been hiding there anyway? Surely it couldn’t be too illicit, if he allowed the entire internet to see it. Still, there was a certain sense of removal from actions people had on the internet. John knew about it- heck, he’d lived it. There were certain things you could share under a screen name, thanks to the annomity of the world wide web, that you wouldn’t show your closest friends and family. It wasn’t because you couldn’t, but Dave clearly felt less vulnerable putting his content- whatever that happened to be- on here.

John probably wouldn’t be half as tempted as he was if he didn’t know that Terezi, of all people, knew. John knew that there were probably things that the two glasses wearing “cool” kids shared that John didn’t, with Dave. Still, the idea irked John, and he looked at the channel curiosly again. John desprstely wanted to know what was on it now. Or, at the least, why Dave didn’t want him to know. It could have been embarrassing, John guessed, but Dave knew he could share whatever with John without him laughing too much. It could have been history lessons, or even better, SBaHJ comic dubs. The more John thought about it, the more he wanted to click.

“A peek wouldn’t hurt.” He reasoned, looking at the name that taunted him. Redglare. What would possibly be the content of a channel called redglare? “It’s probably not even bad.” John reasoned with himself again, but guilt and horror at his actions started  to set in. He’d promised, yes, but at the same time, he wanted to know. “Dave wouldn’t know.” John added in his mind, but instead of easing his tensions, it just made them worse. With a sigh, John started to slowly drag his mouse over the the “X” in the corner of the browser. It wasn’t his secret to- and in under a second, John was clicking on the channel name, and stared at it.

He felt surprised first, and bad second. While the main picture was of Terezi’s weird, thick glasses, (okay, red glare. Duh.) the banner depicted incredibly shitty images of Dave and Terezi, along with… were those music notes? In the second it took John to register it, he felt guilty. He shouldn’t have been there, shouldn’t have clicked. The best option was to just exit now, but he found that they had a channel intro video, and John clicked on it. Just looking at the intro wouldn’t be any worse than what he’d done already, right?

The first sound that greeted him when he started the video was of some pleasant, piano based song. Seconds in, a beat played under it, and showed a minute long montage of what they apparently had on their channel.  After it finished, John wanted to see more. He was already in too deep anyway, he may as well just finish looking through. At once, he found a few videos, but none of the titles stuck out to him. He found a video entitled “Adventure Time Mix”, and at the faint recollection that yeah, it was a kid’s show, John felt intrigued enough to click on it. It was a three minute long remix, and John was a little puzzled as he heard it.

It wasn’t bad, or anything. In fact, it was pretty good, even coming from a person whose tastes weren’t aligned to that  type of music. It made John wonder why Dave had been so admant about John not seeing the channel. The blonde had shown their immediate group of friends a few remixes in the past, and they were glaringly similar to this one. Despite their conversational teasing, the feedback they gave was usually pleasant. Of course, Dave’s rap skills had become a running joke among their friends, much like Jade’s sleeping habits, or Rose’s therapy habits, or John’s taste in movies. And while they all stood firmly behind their separate ideals, they dealt with the occasional joke, and didn’t get offended. At least, John hoped that was the reason, because that was really the only thing he could think of as to why Dave wouldn’t want to show it to him.

John clicked another video, and watched it curiously. The first thing he heard was Dave, and he started beep boxing. John was sure he knew what to expect- one of Dave’s impromptu rap sessions, for sure. So when a female voice came in and began to sing, John was a little surprised. He quickly identified the voice as Terezi’s, and despite her lack of singing with the usual rasp in her tone, it was recognizable. John clicked the descriprion as the song played, and he found lyrics.

After listening without paying much attention to the words for a second, John frowned. He looked at the lyrics, surprise written on his features.

“I can count your visits on my fingertips?” John questioned, confirming the lyrics he’d heard to be true. From the silly title of the video, he’d expect it to just be Terezi and Dave dicking around. What he found, once he looked a little more into the lyrics, was a surprisingly sad song about the lack of a father. John was legitimately surprised. From the presentation… well, he wasn’t expecting something so deep, and though he disliked to admit it, Terezi delivered the song with a false upbeatness that was perfectly suited for the lyrics. Once it ended, John restrained himself enough to not click on it again, even if he kind of wanted to. He looked through the newly recommended songs, and found another one.

The title was “Good little girl”, and after the last song, John was willing to give it a try. This one let the music fade in slowly and pleasantly, and gave John videos of both Dave and Terezi leaning into microphones. The screen contained multiple little videos of each person, surrounding a bigger one. John assumed that they corresponded to the different parts they sang in the song, and waited for the singing to begin. By now, he’d heard Terezi sing only, while Dave served as a background part. So, when Dave leaned a little closer into his mic, headphones around his ears, John froze.

“Good little girl…” The lyrics started, and John felt goosebumps develop on his arm. Dave’s words were attractive, and almost sensual, if he dared to say it. The blonde naturally had his sunglasses on, but he still created the affect of singing to someone. Even if John didn’t fit the description of the person he was singing about at all (he wasn’t a girl, nor was he good, little, or attempting to pick a fight with Dave) he felt like he was being sung to. The ease in Dave’s posture, or that half smirk that formed on any of his faces during moments of rest only added to the feeling. This was Dave? This smooth voiced (okay, so maybe that was the same as usual) even toned (okay, so that wasn’t that different either), confident (wait, that was pretty normal too), and a word John didn’t let himself think (but just for the record, that was true too)was Dave? Okay, so maybe it wasn’t as crazy as he thought it was. John found himself hanging off of Dave’s every word, and noticing every movement. When his part finally (unfortunately) faded out, and Trezi’s came in, John couldn’t help but feel a slight sense of annoyance. After identifying the feeling, John quickly decided it was because he disliked Terezi, and leaned in anxiously as Dave’s second part came in.

This time, it wasn’t even singing, but it was fefinitely just as enchanting. He spoke/sang into the microphone, and his words sounded unnecessarily seductive for someone of their age. John felt his face burn a little, and as the song ended, while giving Terezi another part, John didn’t know what to think. It was strange, how much more likable both Dave and Terezi seemed in this part. John clicked the start of the video again, right before where Dave came in, and his heart invouluntairly sped up. After going through his weird reactions and releasing breaths he didn’t know he was holding, John turned to another video. He unknowingly wanted more of that voice, and was starting to feel a little flustered.

The song he’d clicked on was another one by Dave and Terezi. To his surprise, he didn’t hear any musical instruments in the background. Instead, the song opened up with a soft harmony for his two friends. After the first few words of “Everything Stays”, John felt an overwhelming feeling of sadness come from the piece. The tune was short and lullaby-like enough for the words themselves not to be the focus of the song. They were sad, and almost painful to listen to, like the writer of the song was remembering something incredibly bittersweet. At least, that was how Dave and Terezi performed it. Partially through the song, Terezi’s voice faded out, and John could hear a few strings of the Base Guitar play while Dave finished the song. In total, it was about thirty seconds long. After finishing it, John felt like he’d been watching for hours. He suddenly felt overwhelming guilt bubble in his stomach after listening. John felt like he was intruding on something personal, and sad after that song. He never should have found this in the first place. Without a second look, John closed out the page and decided to redirect his attentions to anything else.

Of course, hours later, this proved challenging. He should have been asleep, but as it stood, nothing could get that singing out of John’s mind. He was beyond guilty, but felt a little happy too. Dave could sing. His best friend could sing, and sing well, and evoke emotion when he sang. That was really quite the realization for John. He still felt his cheeks darken, for some reason, every time he though about one of the songs- then guilt and disgust with himself for breaking a promise- over some simple curiosity, no less. Then, a few minutes later, he’d think about the voice again. The cycle continued until at last, he fell into a fitful sleep.

______________--

Once Dave left his 7 th period, he made a decision. Despite the horror in the pit of his stomach, or even how unsure of himself he was, he wanted to meet this Davepeta. So, Dave walked off to where Nepeta told him to meet her, and found the girl sitting there. She was clearly deep in thought, and had her hands clasped over her legs.

“Hey.” He greeted her, his voice a little startling. She looked up in surprise, then gave him a smile that seemed at least somewhat forced.

“Hi, Dave. You’re coming too?” She asked him, and Dave let out a long sigh through his nose before responding.

“I guess that’s why I’m here.” Dave commented, and Nepeta swallowed nervously.

“Oh, right. Um, I guess Equitty will be here, soon?” She questioned, and he took the seat beside her.

“Okay.” They sat I silence for a few minutes. Dave was horrendously uncomfortable, and Nepeta felt the same. After a few minutes, Dave spoke again. “So, do you know when he’ll get here? Like, maybe a time, or something?” Dave asked, and Nepeta sighed.

“It changes most days, but he’s probably just late talking to a teacher.” She said, and they fell into silence again.

“So, you don’t know when he’s coming?” he said, and Nepeta looked away from him.

“I already said I don’t know.” She said, and they fell into more silence. “Gob I hope it’s soon.” She added after a while. Really, Equius wasn’t extraneously late or anything. But the awkward silence between the two may as well have made this last for hours. Nepeta felt a little bad for snapping at the boy, and she tried to make up for it. “Um, so, what are you going to do when you see them?”

“I don’t know, I guess I’ll get into it when I get there, right?” He asked, and Nepeta didn’t respond. “Or I’ll get into it now.” He said instead, and sat up. “It’s so weird to think that… I mean… fuck.” He’d tried, and Nepeta sighed.

“I know. It feels so surreal- two personalities, in one body?” She asked, and Dave felt the corner of his lip turn upwards.

“Don’t you mean, Purrsonalities?” He asked, and Nepeta blinked for a second before understanding, and she chuckled lightly.

“Yeah! I guess so. Sorry, I’m purretty nervous.” She added with a giggle, and Dave nodded.

“No shit. This is weird as fuck. Sorry for involving you in my robot issues.” Dave added, and Nepeta looked surprised.

“What do you mean?”

“It’s-”

“Oh, heavens. Sorry for being late!” They both turned at the masculine voice, and found Equius walking towards them. After a few pleasantries and a little confusion, the three all piled into Equius’ vehicle. After a quick drive, paired with the confirmation that Dave could get home, they walked inside Nepeta’s home. After realizing  that, yeah, they didn’t know where exactly Davepeta bot would be, Nepeta received a text from them. They informed her that they were in her backyard, and Dave followed her over to the endless expanse of wildflowers that somehow existed behind her house.

Despite the desperate need to grab a camera (because shit, Nepeta’s backyard was really nice.) Dave didn’t feel anything strange as he entered the backyard. So when he saw them leaning casually against a tree, he did a double take. They wore Dave’s shades and still had those two little hair things in front of their ears that originated from Nepeta. To Dave’s surprise, the robot wore clothes. Okay, well that wasn’t surprising, but they wore, like, dressy clothes. They figured out how to make a suit jacket and tie look good with some cutesy dress, and their legs had a strange “muscle” distribution that made it hard for Dave to tell if they were based off male or female legs.

“Sup, Nepeta?” They greeted her coolly, then turned around to see her. “Oh, looks like you brought Dave too. No problem there, I guess.” They added, and both were surprised into silence. Dave couldn’t decipher how he felt, at all. “So, I guess it’s purretty fucking nice of you two to come visit me, but I hope you’re going to do more than just be quiet- that’s no fun.” They added, and Nepeta seemed to snap back into reality.

“Oh! Right, wow. Sorry, I was just- I mean, you’re so….” Her voice trailed off, and Davepeta looked at them pensively. Still, they laughed a little awkwardly.

“What? Weird? I can see how this would be weird, but whatefur. Dave? Any thoughts?” They asked, and he frowned.

“You’re… like….” He tried, giving Nepeta a sideways glance.

“Cool.” “Weird.” They said at the same time, and Davepeta seemed to perk up from that. Dave and Nepeta looked at each other as they offered their analysis.

“Would you believe that it’s not all Dave, actually?” They asked, and Nepeta looked surprised.

“Really?” She asked, and they nodded in response.

“Yep. Dave brought all of those wonderful insecurities, and some wings, and a pair of sunglasses. Oh, and sometimes, we even get the little dochebag bonus. Nice touch, right? Nepeta, you brought the claws, and a few insecurities, and the… you know, the whole cutesy bouncy thing? Though, I’m pretty sure Nepeta smoothed out the depression, and my Dave added in a lot of confidence, and I guess some emotional security, in some areas. Plus, he seems to have a good sense of hum-for, which is really good with how nice Nepeta is. I’m purretty great-furl for that. Thank you both, even if you probably wouldn’t have made me if you had the choice.” Nepeta cast a look at Dave.

“So, you’re saying you’re, like, the best of both of us?” He asked, and Davepeta shrugged.

“Pretty much. Or, just an amalgam of the two of you.”

“Are we like, your parents?” Nepeta asked, and Dave’s eyes widened under his sunglasses, while Davepeta laughed.

“Whoa, slow down there. I don’t know if parents is the right term, but in a way, I guess. I mean, Bro and Equitty made me, but they made me based on you? Okay Dave, you can stop having heart attacks any time now. I haven’t stolen the dream of your first daughter Casey, or anything. Calm down.” The words made Nepeta turn towards Dave.

“Aww, Dave! That’s so cute!”

“What? No, that’s not my dream, they’re being an ass.” He said, and the robot hit their head, as if they remembered something.

“Oh, that’s right! That’s not your dream, silly, that’s Jo-”

“What if we stopped talking right now? Sounds good? Fuck yes, sounds great. We should take a trip to no talk town. I’ll load up the car. We’ll take a van and room in the fucking silent hill inn, or whatever you name an inn. Actually, never mind, we’re not rooming in any place called fucking silent hill. I’ve seen that shit and the only thing that could save them were some loud ass sirens. Hell, sirens would be good now too. Anything to drown out this string of words-” Dave interjected, and Nepeta looked surprised, before grinning.

“Dave, purrlease stop. Davepeta, don’t make things harder for him. He took a big step to come out here and see you.”

“I was fine!” Dave interjected, and a smile broke out on Nepeta’s face.

“Sure.” She giggled, and Dave’s face darkened in color, while Davepeta shook their head.

“You two, I swear. You’re so cute! But, for the record, John really liked you- or, the you me, at least.” They said, and Dave looked surprised.

“Wait, you have memories, from before? When you were just me?” He asked, and Davepeta shook their head.

“No, nothing like that. John just told me in some extremely explicit detail- well, apparently I’m a good kisser.” They said, and Dave glared.

“Stop speaking.”

“Daave! That’s adorable!” Nepeta said, giggling, while Dave covered his face in his hands. He could definitely see where Nepeta came in, some times. It was intimidating, how similar they were to each other. Dave could see it- it made him almost cringe. But he’d lost the urge to keel over, and felt comfortable enough to exist near them. The vampire looked at Davepeta and Nepeta. Apparently, the two could bond over shipping, and romantic details. Dave could only conclude this after Nepeta squealed at Davepeta- or, Davepeta bot, he guessed, and asked them to tell her everything. Their green, glowing eyes flickered to Dave. As they started to get into some finite detail, Dave groaned.

“Oh my gob, I do not want to fucking hear this shit.” Dave groaned, and Davepeta only took it as a cue to be lowder.

“Then apparently, I pushed him against a wall, and-”

“Nope.” Dave said, and started walking away. He could not deal with the image of- “Nope. Nope. No fucking thank you. No sir. Hell no. Nope. Fuck no, please and fucking thank you. I’ll take my nope ice cream with a please no on top, thanks. No thanks. No.”

“Okay, I think we made him a little uncomfortable.” Nepeta commented, and Davepeta shrugged.

“That stinks for him then, the party’s over here.” Davepeta responded nonchalantly. They paused, intent on being an asshole, before relenting. “You think he’s okay?” He asked, and Nepeta smiled.

“I’ll go get him. Tell me more about you and John sometime! It’s really nice to talk to you.” She started, then put a finger on her chin. “Is that narcissistic?” Davepeta laughed at that and smiled warmly at her.

“It’s nice to meet you too, Nepeta.” The robot watched the girl walk off, and decided that it was time for them to go. In the end, Dave didn’t seem too disgusted by their presence, and Nepeta may have even been up for the friend category. They were sure they would figure out their friendships in time, but for now? This was enough.

__________________________---

AN: Davepeta. Davepeta. DAVEPETA. Okay, so here’s a Davepeta chapter, and John has a voice crush- what are the odds? I’m doing a timeskip in the middle of the next chapter, because honestly, I don’t want to overly lengthen this story with even more fillers than I’ve already done. Thanks everyone for sticking with it so far, and it will be over soon.

(DAVEPETA)

JAFNF Chapter 114

(Tuesday, May 4 th )

When Dave appeared at his house the next morning, John opened the door. His friend wore a baggy t-shirt and jeans that were the exact opposite, then greeted him with a smirk.

“Hey, Egdork.” He greeted, resting his hand on his school bag. John looked up at him, prepared to smile and greet him normally, before his ears flushed with embarrassment and he felt his cheeks darken. He remembered the singing from the night before- and there was the guilt. No, he definitely couln’t think of this now, but by the time John rationalized all of this, he’d already missed a beat of conversation.

“Dave! Hi. Hi, Dave.” He said, screaming internally for how weird his words sounded. Dave raised an eyebrow, but said nothing. John turned, and allowed Dave to enter their house. The blonde took a deep breath- the Egbert household always smelled like baking, to him.

“Ah, David! Good morning!” John’s father greeted, walking around in a hurry. Dave offered him a casual wave.

“Hey, Mr. E. Good morning.” He addressed, and John’s father speed walked over to the two.

“Now, boys. There’s breakfast on the counter, but I have to go to work- I’ll be in South Carolina for a few Days. You’ll be okay, right John?” He asked, and John, no longer shaken from his guilty encounter, rolled his eyes.

“Dad, I’ll be fine.” He said, and Dave spoke up.

“’Course he will, I’ll be here to protect him.” He said, and John shook his head.

“Protect yourself, I’m an extremely capable hunter.” Dave snorted.

“Sure. Well, I’m your creepy vampire stalker- no one’s going to hurt you with me around.”

“Yeah, creepy is right. No one’s going to go near me with you around, skinny jeans.” John commented, and Dave cast him a sidelong glance, which went unnoticed with his glasses.

“Hey, let’s not get into clothing. I seem to remember a certain sweatshirt-”

“Oh no, I forgot! Sorry Dave, I really did forget to wash it. I’ll have it ready by Thursday though.” John said, referencing the next time Dave was scheduled to come over. For their morning walk. Dave, however, took the opportunities he had, in their conversation.

“Really. Well, how convenient- you sure you don’t have a thing for wearing my clothes?” He asked, and John pushed him away.

“Shut up!” John’s father laughed at the display, then shook his head with the type of mirth only an extremely dad-ish dad could produce.

“You boys are too much. Speaking of too much- I don’t have much time before I need to go- and you two don’t either, right? You usually have left by now.” He commented, and John’s eyes widened.

“Wait, really? Dad, we’ll be late- okay, have a safe trip, love you.” He said quickly, and his Dad took the opportunity to lay a kiss in his hair before he ran away, then ruffle it. John balked at the awkward affection, but Dave seemed to smile softly at it. John’s father offered Dave a smile and a quick wave, which the blonde returned. John hurriedly ran to toss a piece of toast in his mouth, then proceeded to pick up Dave’s. He moved through the kitchen quickly, then ran back to Dave, who stood posed at the door. His father left, and Dave smirked.

“You ready to go Eg- mmph!” He cried, surprised when John shoved the food towards his mouth.

“Less talking, more going! We’re late!” He said, and Dave rolled his eyes, muttering something about a white rabbit, before following John outside and to school.

______________________-

(Satuday, May 8 th )

John wiped his forehead. Davepeta was making things tough today. They were unrelenting, even on John’s comfortable level 5. The robot sliced and jabbed, without regard for the fact that John couldn’t regenerate like it could. John hadn’t found any openings with his hammer. After the session time was called, he hadn’t killed them once, but did make the equivalent of breaking a few ribs. He could do better later.

After he vividly remembered his Friday night feelings jam with Karkat from the prior evening, the vampire told him he’d been acting weird around Dave. Honestly, sometimes Karkat was too perceptive. In truth, John had been acting weird. Ever since hearing that voice (and, to his utter embarrassment, listening to it more times) John had been feeling weird around his best friend. It was so weird hearing him, and Terezi for that matter, sing. Their voices weren’t drastically different or anything, but they seemed thousands of times smoother and more attractive when they sang.

John almost wanted to laugh when Dave smirked at the camera as he sang, but it just made his face flush a little more. It was weird how… good Dave sounded. John gave himself a swift shake of the head- he didn’t have to think about it. He didn’t want to think about how smooth his voice was, or the way it sounded when he said ‘good’… okay, he needed to stop.

“Wow John, are you okay? You seemed seriously out of it today.” Davepeta commented, and John shrugged.

In truth, the past week had been nice, besides that. He still hadn’t figured out who that mystery person was, but they promised that they would reveal themselves soon. Unfortunately, this person (who John had been informed was, male) wasn’t a ghost, but they were still nice. Their conversations grew more frequent. At one point, John received a new note in every class period, which was nice. He still wasn’t sure how they got said notes, but it didn’t matter. Even better, after finishing that hangman game, he found that they had fantastic taste in actors, or just knew what he liked. The answer was Matthew Mcconaughey, and even though John didn’t get it, he still thought this person was pretty cool for making the choice.

Since then, he’d learned a little more about this guy, and John had growing excitement to meet him. The fear that he had a demon haunting him, or something, dissipated after a while. John couldn’t wait until he finally saw this person, and he hoped they’d be cool in real life too. Honestly, he was enthralled with the idea of having so many cool, not completely human people surrounding him. It made him feel special, and a little extraordinary. He still felt weird not telling his friends about said mysterious person, but if they were shy, he didn’t mind waiting. Still, John had to check himself, and not mention the notes in Dave’s presence. Then again, he definitely had other things to think about around Dave as well. Like, that voice… okay, he had to answer Davepeta’s question now, things were getting ridiculous.

“Sorry, there’s a lot on my mind.” His response was sheepish, and the robot tilted their head slightly and gave him a mischievous smile.

“Oh, thinking about someone?” They asked innocently, and John laughed nervously to hide his embarrassment.

“Not you. It starts with an F and ends with an –inals. Any guesses?” The robot shook their head.

“Oh, that’s no fun. Fur real, Finals sound like they suck!” They commented, and Jake walked over to them.

“Suck or not, they’re quite necessary- and in some cases, stand as the difference between a good grade and a bad one! Not that John here has anything to worry about.” Jake added hurriedly, and John shrugged.

“I try.” He said, and Jake beamed.

“You definitely do. Which is why-”

“Which is why you should try not to be so distracted during training, Johnny boy! You spend enough time focusing on school. You can only get better if you focus on what you did during training, kiddo.” Roxy said, with a hand on her hip. “Not that your partner’s shabby.” She added, offering the robot a smile. Still, her words almost seemed chiding towards John.

“Sorry Roxy, I’ll do better next week.” John said, and she ruffled his hair.

“Oh Johnny, it’s okay. We all have off days. But, if you’re really so stressed about finals, why don’t you call one of your friends and have ‘em study with you? I’m sure it would help.” Jake frowned at that.

“Please, Roxanne, we know very well what ‘study sessions’ were like when our friends were involved.” Jake said, and John looked at him.

“I don’t!” Jake grinned.

“I’ll tell you a story then. You know, John, Roxy was quite the pal of your mum. Some days, we’d attempt to study together. It would always go good for the first ten minutes or so- then an hour later, we’d be on some long lost episode of Parks and Recreation while your mother hooted at some bloody awful jokes. I don’t know how it would start, but we’ve always ended up a smite off topic when we try to study together.” Roxy looked at him sassily.

“Please, we know P&R was always Janey’s idea. I swear she watched that show 50 times, some days.” The woman said, and John looked surprised.

“Mom liked Parks and Recreation? That show is like, a rip off of The Office!” John commented, and Jake snorted, while Roxy nodded.

“I know right? But back in high school, those were fighting words around your mom. Honestly Johnny, she was really something. But back on topic- if you can study with your friends, I say give it a go! Just save the studying for study time Johnny, or that big brain of yours is going to be all you’ve got in a fight!” She said, and John nodded.

“Okay. Actually, I think I will. But, I should get home first.” John commented, and Roxy opened her car door.

“Your chariot awaits, Kiddo. Davepeta, you can come with, if you want.” She offered, but the robot shook their head.

“No thanks, Mrs. L. I’d rather take the high road. See you later!” They called, and in an instant, they were in the sky. John watched them leave with a pleasant wave, then hopped inside Roxy’s car. She dropped John off at home, and John entered the shower. After a quick wash, he felt clean, and grappled for something to wear. He threw a sweatshirt on along with a pair of shorts, then went over to his bed. In an instant, he was calling Dave, and the blonde promised to come over with his backpack.

Less than an hour later, Dave appeared. John self consciously noticed the blonde stare at him for a second, then grin. Of course, he couldn’t tell what he was looking at, with those sunglasses, but it was enough for John to give him a weird expression. After the usual pleasantries, Dave took it upon himself to flop onto John’s couch, then look up at the boy.

“You know, I’m still waiting on that pie.” The blonde commented, and John laughed.

“You remember that? Sheesh, you’re serious about this apple thing, Dave.” John responded, and Dave nodded.

“I’m as serious as a contract with a lawyer, or some shit. My level of seriousness cannot be described-”

“If I make it now will you stop?” John interrupted, and Dave immediately answered.

“Yes.” He said, and John laughed again.

“Woah, I was kidding, you can talk Dave. Geez.” John said, and Dave looked at him.

“I want that pie.”

“Dave, I haven’t even made it.”

“Please?” The blonde asked, and John crossed his arms.

“Not now, we’re hanging out!” John said, and Dave removed his sunglasses. He took a second to look John in the eyes, and he put his hands together.

“Pleeease??” He shook his head.

“Dude, you like apples too much.”

“Come on! I had a hard strife today- and I’ll help. I’ll be good, I promise.”  John felt whatever resolve he had crack. He sighed.

“Fine.” John said, rolling up his sweatshirt’s sleeves. After thinking about it for a moment, he decided he’d just take it off.

“Yes!” Dave cried, and John shook his head, a smile on his features. It was hard to believe that the Dave that begged him for pie was also the one who- John felt his ears redden, and he turned swiftly towards the kitchen.

“Okay, pie or tarte?” John asked, and Dave looked at him.

“What’s the difference?” He asked, and John gave him a look, but answered.

“One has a top and is usually hot. The other doesn’t have a top, and my dad makes it cold.”

“The one with a top.”John nodded and walked in, followed by Dave’s lanky strides, and looked around for the stuff he’d need. They tended to always have baking materials on hand. Even if his dad used box mixes, he always replenished flour, and other basics before they got low. John located a few different materials, and found a plethora of measuring utensils. He located a large bowl, along with their (Crocker brand) food processer, and placed both on the countertop. The house hadn’t reeked of Crocker since his father left for his business trip, and John decided that the smell of baked goods needed to remain prevalent in their establishment.

“Okay, put like 2 and one half of a cup of flower in there.” John commanded, and Dave went to do it. “Wait, wash your hands!” John cried, and Dave rolled his eyes.

“Yes mom.” He said, and proceeded to do it. John found a pie tin, and Dave looked at John. “Done, chef Egdork.”

“I am not a chef. I am an artist.” John said, causing Dave to laugh. John felt a little good after that. While John started cutting butter, he commanded his friend to add in the sugar and salt. “Okay, now pulse it a few times.” John commented, and Dave looked at him blankly.

“What?” John walked over to him.

“I mean- never mind, let me. Here, you just kind of do it.” John turned the food processor on, and after a few times, John made it stop. He put in half the butter, continued the pulsing process, and added the rest. After adding in a little ice water to top it off, John was done. He placed the dough where he planned to frisage (another term Dave didn’t know) and roll it, then put the flower and salt away, but left the sugar. They had enough for their two pie crusts, so they placed them in the refrigerator, and proceeded to work on the filling.

John hopped from stove to bowl, occasionally bringing the items back and fourth. Dave sliced apples for a few minutes, and John helped him figure out how to get the skin off without wasting the entire apple.

“Dave, you can’t eat them! You said you’d be good.” He commented, when he noticed Dave take a slice. Dave shrugged.

“I guess I’m a bad little boy. Deal with it, mom.” Dave said, and the words made John stop breathing for a second, then choke. He didn’t respond for a second, because his brain was screaming a thousand different things at him and he couldn’t pick one to pay attention to. Sensing he’d gone silent, Dave looked at John in concern. “…John?” He’d asked, and John snapped out of it, trying to wonder why Dave’s voice sounded so similar to when he sang and how he didn’t notice how smooth it was. Like, wow.

“I… shit, sorry! I spaced out.” John apologized, and Dave looked at his friend quizzically, noticing the blood in John’s ears. Dave was a vampire- he’d know. Apparently, John was embarrassed, for spacing out or something? Dave decided to dismiss it.

“Nah, it’s cool Egbert. Just talking about how much of a badass I am, no worries.” He said, slipping another apple slice in his mouth. He really liked his apples.

“Dave, stop. We’re not going to have any left if you keep doing that!” John cried, and Dave, with his sunglasses off (because John was the only one in the house anyway) smirked and narrowed his eyes in challenge.

“Make me.”

“You always say that, and it ends up badly.” John said, then he remembered the last time his friend spoke those words- when he’d found out about his youtube channel. Guilt slumped through the boy, and he sagged down.

“Yeah, bad for you.” Dave said, the challenge still in his voice, but John put a hand on his arm.

“Sorry, then. We can just cut some more.” John said, and Dave’s eyes widened. Okay, that was weird for John. If he really wasn’t feeling playful, his voice would usually get a little serious, but John never just gave in. Dave was silent for a second.

“John. Are you okay?” He asked, and, okay, panicked a little. “Shit man, you didn’t have to make this pie if you didn’t want to, fuck. I didn’t mean to pressure you into shit.” He said, and John looked surprised.

“What? No! It’s not the pie. Geez Dave.” John said, a little playfulllness back in his tone, but Dave didn’t relax.

“Then what is it?” He asked, and John bit his lip. Dave’s voice got a little softer. “John, you know whatever it is, you can tell me.” The blonde added, and John winced. He didn’t say anything for a second.

“It- it’s nothing. Just stress about finals. You know. Anyway, I can cut that last apple, as long as you add in a little more cinnamon on that stove.” John forced the conversation back to cooking, and Dave frowned, but didn’t push it. They grew out of their tenseness after ten minutes, and by the time they were placing apples within the pie, they joked like usual.

“But why? It’ll taste the same!”

“But it’s prettier to lay it out like this, come on, Dave! Let me do this- I am making this for you.”

“Then you should just hurry up and put the apples in there, John!” He responded, and John shook his head.

“I can do it as tan-ta-lizing-ly sloooowly as I want.” John said, drawing out the syllables to make Dave groan.

“You’re the worst!” Dave cried, and John smirked.

“You’re the best.” He responded, and it made Dave stop, then rethink his words. He let out an irritated huff.

“Fine, do it how you want.” He said, and John fist pumped in victory. Eventually, after John was a perpetual asshole that drew out the process of putting the two varieties of apples in, he finished. He could see Dave practically screaming as he placed the last one in, and John could only laugh. Okay, so maybe he was being kind of annoying, but he had th right to. After putting it in their preheated oven, John sat with their extra pie crust. He had no idea what he’d do with it- after all, they kind of had a lot.

“I don’t know, what do you think?” John asked, and Dave shrugged.

“Throw it away?” He asked, and John shook his head.

“No way, there’s a ton. Like, enough for another crust. We could just… make jelly things.” John offered, and Dave looked at him curiously.

“Jelly things?”

“Jam pie crust cookies. Want to?” In seconds, they had the two types of jam currently within the Egbert household out on the counter top, and rolled out the remaining pie crust. Ironically enough, they had apple (or maybe not so ironically, John was sure his Dad added it for Dave’s benefit since he ate breakfast at their house) and blackberry. John explained how to make them, and thankfully, th process was simple. They had a few tiny cookie cutters lying around, so they used a large teacup for the outside of the cookies and made shapes in the middle with the small, card suit themed cookie cutters.

John took hold of the spade, while Dave took the heart shaped one. They could do the diamonds and clubs next. After a quick competition to see who could do the most the fastest, without a clear winner, they moved to putting the jelly/jam/ whatever they wanted to call it atop the cookies.

By the time they finished and put them on the sheet, John decided to crease the edges, then put them in the oven under the pie. Once they’d finished their clean up (really, it was just cleaning out the bowls, since they’d put stuff away as they went along), Dave waited desperately for the pie to cook, then cool. John decided not to turn on a movie or television, for fear that they’d miss the oven’s ding, and instead, John introduced Dave to oven mitt boxing.

Dave ironically chose Roxy’s hot pink oven mitts, and the two prepared for battle. Neither one wanted to hit the other hard, nor in the end, they just enjoyed a giggly game of throwing themselves at each other. Dave was on the floor and practically breathless from all of his shameless laughter during the fight. In the end, they both had fun, and that was really what was important. After the pie finally finished cooling, along with the long finished cookies, John took a picture of the desert. Dave took one too, and John already knew which one he’d be deleting. He wasn’t sure how Dave had such magic with cameras, but he knew who’d be taking the selfies from then on.

When Dave finally got to try the pie, John watched his reaction anxiously. When Dave bit into it, his eye literally watered a little, and if the groan/moan of approval was anything to go by, John decided that he’d baked a descent pie. Instead of taking a slice, John nibbled one of Dave’s heart cookies, and gave him a thumbs up.

After a little talking and a lot of whining, the pair decided that they’d actually study. With a plate of cookies between them and a lot of determination, both boys deemed themselves prepared for their upcoming Monday Biology test, and had a pretty solid understanding of the semester’s topics. John helped Dave through the few things they needed from the previous semester,  and soon enough, Dave was getting permission for a sleepover. They stayed up late, even going out for an adventure (slushies at seven eleven, because it was the only place open that late), and from there, they returned to John’s home. The two watched a movie, and talked through the entire thing.

As it grew early, it became clear that the two needed sleeping arrangements. Dave knew not to suggest sharing John’s bed, and after a battle of wits, the blonde remained on the floor while John slept on the far more comfortable area. Of course, John had opposed this, and even offered to sleep on the floor instead of (or with) Dave, but the blonde vehemently refused. John fell into a blissfull sleep with his rabbit at his side, and was prepared for whatever the next morning would bring him.

(Sunday, May 9 th )

John’s wakeup was groggy enough for him not to reach for his glasses first. He vaguely registered that it was Sunday, and the thought dragged him out of bed and directly into the shower. He still hadn’t remembered the previous night’s events, but John’s body knew the motions of getting ready well. He didn’t bring his clothes with him to the bathroom, but he did bring his towel. As he mundanely began to warm up the shower, John felt it, and stepped in. The hot spray was enough to make him sigh audibly, and he started the process of getting ready.

After a few seconds, John proceeded to hum absentmindedly, still not remembering that Dave was in his house. As he washed himself, he found one of the red glare tunes on his lips, and decided to sing it. As he belted out the words to ‘I’m just your problem’, John relaxed into the fun beat. He swayed in the shower, suddenly in the middle of a broadway stage, and not naked and wet. Well, in his mind anyway. John realized he was being a little loud, but it didn’t really matter- no one could hear him anyway. So, he sang and scrubbed to his heart’s content, and by the time he’d left the shower (not without repeating certain verses at least four times), he’d moved onto a different song, but kept singing. He wasn’t extraneously good, or anything, but he enjoyed it.

“Good little girl…” His voice started, automatically moving to Dave’s part. He danced through his room, half naked and using his deodorant a microphone. John sank dramatically against a wall, and continued. John eventually moved to his closet to pick out clothing while humming the next part, but he hadn’t lessened his volume. So, John probably shouldn’t have been surprised when he heard the deep (ish) voice he’d been listening to all week respond.

“Why’d you stop? I was enjoying it.”  Dave commented, and it caused John to scream and fall over in surprise. Dave, surprised at the action, opened John’s closet door in worry. “John! Are you-” He started, but he was cut off by John, desperately attempting to cover himself with his towel.

“Ah, Dave! What are you doing?” He cried, and Dave’s face flushed.

“Oh, shit sorry!” Dave slammed the door closed, and John put his head in his hands. Of course, his brain chose that moment to remind him why Dave was in his house, and if he was embarrassed before, he was even more embarrassed now. John shakily walked out two minutes later, with clothes on his body. His entire face was flushed, and Dave sat on John’s bed, his eyes covered by both his sunglasses and hands.

“Hi. I’m clothed now.” John said nervously, and Dave removed his hands from his glasses, but kept the sunglasses on.

“Fuck, sorry about that.” Dave said, attempting to hide his embarrassment. John flushed.

“Sorry for waking you up, I forgot you were, um, here.” John said truthfully, and Dave scoffed in mock offense.

“Am I really that forgettable?” He asked, and John grinned at him slyly.

“What? Who are you again?” Dave put a hand on his heart, as if wounded, and John laughed. “Just kidding, Dave. No one could forget you.” John said, and Dave half smiled, pleased.

“Thanks, John. So, you like Adventure Time?” He asked, and John was confused.

“What? The show? No, I’m not really into cartoons.” John commented, and Dave’s eyebrows rose over his glasses.

“Really? Then where did you hear that song?” John’s blood ran cold, and guilt tore through his body. He could lie- but no, Dave would know. Of course, he’d know. It was Dave.

“I… I heard it, on youtube.” John said, and looked down. “Your… youtube.” He added, and Dave looked confused.

“My youtube?”

“Your channel, with Terezi. Redglare?” John clarified, and Dave raised an eyebrow.

“So… you watched the videos.” Dave asked, and John winced.

“I did. I found it on accident one day, and I didn’t click away.” Dave grew stiff.

“What did you see?” He asked him, and John couldn’t meet his face.

“The singing, and the cartoon songs.” Dave let out a long exhale, and closed his eyes behind his sunglasses.

“That’s all?” He asked, and John nodded quickly.

“That’s all.” He responded, and Dave ran a hand through his hair.

“Okay.” Dave said, and they fell quiet for a minute. “Don’t… I mean, yeah. Don’t look at anything else, okay?” Dave asked, and John affirmed that he wouldn’t. Still, guilt ebbed at the back of his mind, along with curiosity. But no, John decided that he wouldn’t see whatever else Dave had on there. He couldn’t.

“It was really good.” John said suddenly, causing Dave to look up and meet his eyes. John stumbled over his words. “I mean, the singing. Your voice is so…” John started, and his ears burned. He stopped himself.

“What?” Dave asked, and John bit his lip. Dave smirked, at ease. “Hey, if you want to say it was horrible, I understand-.”

“No! It was… really…” John found his cheeks heating up, and Dave looked at him, surprise etched on his features. He could tell John was embarrassed. “Okay, don’t be weirded out.” John said suddenly, and Dave shrugged.

“Sure.”

“It was really hot. I am saying this in the best way I can here, Dave.” John clarified, and Dave felt his cheeks darken. This was coming from the boy he’d just seen, hardly covered by a towel.

“Fuck, really?” Dave asked him, and John nodded, sitting down on his bed.

“It was so smooth! I couldn’t get it out of my head all week! Even during training yesterday, I couldn’t stop. It was so weird.” John remembered what he’d confessed to Karkat the previous night, about Dave. He specifically remembered telling him how he couldn’t stop listening to it, and how he’d never seen that side of Dave. Except, he had, he’d just never thought of it that way. Luckily, John managed to cut Karkat off before he could conclude anything too serious, but still.

“You couldn’t get me out of your head all week?” Dave paroted back at him, and John shook his head wildly.

“No, not like that! Your voice.” John insisted, like they were two different things. Dave grinned.

“So, me.” He emphasized, and John stood up and punched him lightly on the arm in one motion.

“Don’t give yourself too much credit, Dave.” John said, but Dave’s smile couldn’t leave his face now. In fact, the blonde couldn’t even find it within himself to reply. Luckily (or, unluckily, depending on how you looked at it) Dave’s phone interrupted the two. After a text notification, Dave learned that Dirk would arrive soon, so John took it upon himself to lead his friend downstairs.

He found something to put the pie in, and added their remaining cookies to the container as well. John searched for something they could have for breakfast, but neither wanted to put a ton of work into it. Instead, he handed Dave a few leftover jam cookies for breakfast, and they sat around watching cartoons until Dirk arrived.

When the elder strider appeared at John’s door, John hastily held the door open for him.

“Hi Bro!” John greeted cheerfully, and Dirk smirked.

“Hey, John. What did you guys get up to?” He asked, and John shrugged.

“Normal stuff, studying… we baked pie.” John added, and handed the box to Dirk. He took it in surprise, then rolled his eyes behind his sunglasses.

“Let me guess, apple?” He asked, and John nodded. Dirk snorted. “He doesn’t eat anything but apples, I fucking swear. Anyway, thanks for making this for him, I know Dave can’t cook. No thanks to me.” He added, but John only gave him an earnest smile in response.

“No problem, it was fun!” John decided, and Dave walked up behind him. Dirk promptly handed his younger brother the box, and Dave sent a look of distaste back, but took it. He smirked down at John, still wearing his clothes from the previous day.

“Sure was. Thanks for the pie, Egbert. And if you ever want some other song stuck in your head, just ask.” Dave added, and the words made John’s ears burn, before he pushed Dave in frustration.

“Shut up, Dave!” John cried, embarrassment clear in his voice. Unfortunately, the action made Dave stumble and the box flew out of his hands. Before Dave could cry out desperately to stop it, a small flash of red light had them surprised. Dave- that is, another Dave, appeared, and caught the box, before handing it to Dirk.

“Here you go, bro. Make sure butterfingers doesn’t drop this again- it would be a shame to lose this work of art. Later, Egdork.” He said, addressing John by the familiar term. John blinked and slowly raised his hand in an awed wave.

“Um… wait, no, how are you here? Who are you? Are- are you leaving?” John asked, and the new Dave laughed.

“Sad to see me go? Typical Egbert, can’t get enough. Don’t worry, I’ll see you soon. Also Dave, don’t leave your mouth open. We’re supposed to be cool, not catch flies. Anyway, as I was saying. See you, John. ” He said, and John snapped out of his surprise long enough to put a feeble hand up in an attempt to wave.

“Um, bye… Dave?” he said, and the Dave smirked.

“Bye. And thanks for the pie, and hangman!” He called, and disappeared. Dave hurriedly shut his mouth, while John looked at the spot where the Dave disappeared in surprise. He had no idea what he meant by hang man. Dirk stared at the box in his hand dumbfoundedly, and they all sat in silence for an awed collection of seconds.

“Wow.” John finally said, breaking their silence. So it had been this guy? Dave and Dirk looked at John, and the older of the two blondes couldn’t help but snort.

“Must be some pie.” He said, and at that, John’s lips turned up into a smile.

“Yeah. Definitely something.” He responded, and Dave shook his head.

“No shit.” Dave commented, and looked down at his hands. “That did happen, right?” He asked, and John nodded.

“Yep. You duplicated yourself to save my pie. I’m not going to lie- I feel really important.” John said, and Dave smirked.

“You are. Shit, I have zero answers for why that happened. I guess I’ll explain when I can.” The blonde said, and John agreed. They could figure it out later. So, with a heavy sigh, John wished Dave good bye, and returned inside.

___________________________-

AN: OKAY I DIDN’T PLAN to include this other Dave but whatever I had an idea, ima roll with it.

**END OF PART 3**


	25. 115-125

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> PGS 1003-1,111  
> beginning of part 4- finally, the end.

JAFNF Chapter 115

(Monday, May 10 th )

When John returned home from school, he walked into his bedroom first. After opening the door and putting his backpack down, he closed his eyes and sighed. John spoke with Dave today, about the duplication thing. As expected, neither had any answers, nor did they know why it happened. John thought of what he needed to do today- and it was actually quite a few things. For one, John had two projects he needed to get started on, which meant that he and his group would probably spend a while on their Google Doc tonight. He had piano, and the last real test of the year in biology on Thursday. Along with that, he had to prepare for math, and history, and- okay, he had a lot of work ahead of him. At least he didn’t have to deal with anything too w-

“Sup?” A voice called, and John jumped in surprise. Dave stood in John’s bedroom, leaning casually against a wall.

“Dave? What the heck, man! How are you in my room?” John exclaimed, and Dave put his hands out.

“Easy, Egdork. I said I’d see you soon, right?” He said, and John blinked.

“No! I just saw you at school! And you didn’t say you were- wait, you’re the other Dave! Like, pie Dave.” John clarified, and Dave winced.

“Yeah uh, Dave is fine. But that’s me.” He said, and John’s repercussions about his friend being in his house flew out the window.

“No way! I have so many questions! How are you here? Did Dave make you? Why are you here?” he said, and Dave put his hands up in a surrendering motion.

“Woah, slow down, Egbert. I can’t answer all of your questions, man. But, as for why I’m here? I came to finally meet you, in person.” He said, and John looked surprised, then grinned.

“Okay! From where?” John asked, and Dave shrugged.

“Can’t say, sorry. I don’t want to rush things, and I know you’ll tell Dave if I tell you. So, no dice. I am here to help though. Maybe I’ll offer a suggestion or two- or, I’ll just hang out, I don’t know. Anything that puts a smile on your face.” Dave said, and John looked at him curiously.

“What do you mean?”

“You’ve been getting the notes, right?” Dave asked. John paused for a second, uncomprehending, then his eyes widened.

“No, no way! That was you? You’re… woah!” He exclaimed, and Dave smirked.

“Surprised?”

“Yeah, kind of! But I guess that’s the sort of thing Dave would do… or, you would do. Thanks for that. They were really nice.” John said, and Dave nodded in satisfaction.

“Of course. So, uh, did you want to hang out?” He asked, and John’s face stretched into a grin, before it unceremoniously fell. John bit his lip.

“I want to hang out! Like, I really would like to. But, I have homework. And projects. And tests-”

“That’s cool. I can just go back.” Dave said nonchalantly, but John waved his hands up.

“Wait! Don’t go. Maybe we can hang out when I’m done? Or you can just chill out here! Or I can do my homework later, I don’t know. Just, don’t go yet, this is so cool.” John said, and Dave sighed.

“You drive a hard bargain, Egbert. But I can’t actually keep you from doing your work. Not yet, anyway. We can hang out again when you’re done.” He said, and smirked. “I’ll see you soon.” He started to disappear, and John reached his hand out to grab him.

“Wait!” Dave jerked back then, just short of John’s hands touching him. He fell on the ground, and John stood over him. Dave’s sunglasses fell off, and John reached to pick them up.

“Stop!” He shouted, and it made John freeze. Dave sighed, and grabbed his sunglasses. “Sorry for screaming.” He apologized immediately, and John looked confused.

“Um, okay? Would you like a hand?” John asked, and Dave shook his head.

“Sorry, John. No touching. I don’t want- look, there would be some really fucked up consequences. Ones that I can’t actually explain yet.” He said, and John didn’t completely understand, but nodded.

“Um, okay. Sorry, I won’t touch. Why?” He asked, and Dave shrugged apologetically.

“Sorry, can’t say. But yeah, I can’t touch anyone, and you can’t touch anything I have with me like my glasses. Like I said, it could make some fucked up consequences.” He said, and John sighed.

“Okay. I guess I’ll see you later then?” John asked, and Dave nodded.

“Yeah, see you soon! Bye.” Dave said, and he disappeared in a red flash of light. John stared at the spot where the Dave disappeared. He grinned and picked up his backpack again. If John lacked motivation before, he had it now. Even if Dave was a little cryptic, the guy seemed really, really cool. Plus, he’d been leaving him those nice messages for a week now.

John had, truthfully, built up a kind of fixation with the mysterious writer of the notes. He’d been wanting to know who did it, and now that it turned out as a cool, teleporting duplicate of his best friend, John was excited to meet him. Plus, he seemed so… cool. It was like he knew stuff John didn’t, and John couldn’t wait to see him again. John sped through as much work as he could, and added a little research to his group project. His other members appreciated it, and in the end, John was kind of glad he could get it done.

As soon as John put down his pencil, John decided he’d get a little piano in his day. So, he sat on the bench, and decided to find a random piece online and try it. Of course, John couldn’t do it perfectly- it was his first try! But he got the main idea behind the piece, and decided he’d work on it more at a later point. The second he took his hands off the keys, Dave appeared.

“Done?” He asked, and John was a little surprised, but nodded.

“Yeah. Done.” John said, and Dave smirked.

“Good. You’ve been working for hours though. You sure you don’t want to get some rest?” He offered, and John shook his head.

“No way! I want to hang out. You just appeared in my house, and you expect me not to hang out with you?” John asked, and Dave laughed.

“Fair point, Nerdbert. Why don’t we just get on your computer and browse, or something?” He asked, and John shrugged.

“Okay! What should I look up?” John asked, and Dave shrugged. They walked to his computer, and he finally answered.

“I don’t know, fish?” He said, and John shrugged.

“Sure, fish it is.” He typed it in Google, and the first result under it was aquarium. John clicked on images, and they were unsurprisingly greeted with numerous fish in tanks. John scrolled through the images. “Hey, this one reminds me you!” John commented, and Dave raised an eyebrow.

“Is that supposed to be a compliment, or an insult?”

“Compliment? I mean, it’s red, and cool.” John said, and Dave smirked.

“Oh? Well, thank you. Hey, look at that tank!” Dave exclaimed, and John proceeded to do so. He clicked on it, and Dave encouraged him to go to the page.

“Ten largest aquariums in the world, huh?” John asked, reading the title of the page. Dave looked at him.

“Hey, where do you think the biggest one is?” He asked, and John shrugged.

“I don’t know, Japan?” John asked, and Dave smirked, then shook his head.

“Nope. Good guess though- it’s in Georgia. Like, the United States. I’ve always wanted to see it.” He commented, and John looked surprised.

“Really? Wow. Didn’t you move around a lot?” John asked, and Dave nodded.

“Yeah, but we never stayed in Georgia long enough to check it out.” He said, and John put a hand on his chin.

“Really? Wow, I’m sorry. We should go sometime.” John said, and Dave smirked.

“You should. I can go whenever I want- bonus part of these powers here, but Dave can’t. At least, not yet.” The blonde said, and John put a hand on his chin.

“Huh. Are… are you suggesting that I go there with Dave?” He asked, and the blonde shrugged.

“I don’t know, you do what you want. But, I’ve heard that it’s pretty cool.” Dave said, and John thought about it.

“Hm, maybe we could make Kanaya drop us off, or something. We probably can’t just go across the country- or maybe we can, this summer?”John asked, and Dave smirked.

“Hey, the sooner the better. You guys have a special day coming up, right?” He asked, and John nodded.

“Yeah! Our broiversary!” John said excitedly, and Dave nodded.

“That’s right. Think about it.” Dave commented, and John nodded.

“I will! Do you want to go to one sometime?” John asked, and Dave shrugged.

“Sure, if we can figure out how to get there without me touching anyone.” Dave said, and John sighed.

“Oh, right. Well, we’ll figure it out- hey, we can go to one in town!” John said, and looked down. “I know it’s not the biggest one or anything, but maybe we can try?” John asked, and Dave smirked.

“Sure, Egbert. Sounds fun. When do you want to?” He asked, and John shrugged.

“Tomorrow? Maybe after school, or something?” John asked, and Dave nodded again.

“Sure. I’ve got all the time in the world.” He said, and John looked at him.

“I feel like I’m not getting a joke here.”

“You’ll figure it out.” He responded, and John rolled his eyes.

“Okay, if you wanna be all meta about it.” John said, and Dave snorted.

“See, this is what I miss about you. It’s good to have you back, John.” He said, and John looked confused. He didn’t know what that meant, but he guessed he would figure it out later. Eventually, Dave left, and John did his obligatory call to his father. The man responded jovially, and John didn’t tell him about his encounter with Dave. Instead, he mentioned that he had more work to complete. After all, if he was going to hang out with Dave, he’d probably have to do whatever work he had to complete now, to not be late. So, with a sigh, John got back to work.

___________________-

(Tuesday, May 11 th )

When John arrived at home, he thankfully didn’t have much work to do. Working yesterday helped his load tremendously, even if he didn’t get to bed until a later hour. Still, it was worth it when he found Dave- that is, the pie Dave, sitting on his couch.

“Dave!” John shouted, and the blonde smirked.

“Hey, Egbert. You ready for today?” He asked, and John nodded excitedly.

“Yeah, it’ll be fun!” John said, and Dave nodded.

“Should be. I brought money, you don’t have to.” Dave said, and John started to protest, but Dave shushed him. “Hey, we’re going where I wanted to go- trust me, it’s really not a big deal.” He said, and John put his hand on his arm.

“I don’t know, I really don’t want to make you pay for me.” John said, and Dave shook his head.

“Please, that was the idea from the beginning anyway. You ready?” Dave asked, and John sighed, then nodded.

“Yeah, let’s go.” He said, and the two entered John’s car. John held the door open for Dave, who nodded in appreciation. John got in the driver’s seat, and with Google maps to guide them, they went to the nearest aquarium. The drive was under an hour long, and by the time they arrived, there was no line. The area was both a zoo and an aquarium, and John felt himself get excited to enter. Dave took it upon himself to pay admission, and they walked inside. The blonde tried his best not to touch anyone, and John walked through the tanks with awe on his features. “Dave, this is so cool!” John said excitedly, and Dave laughed.

“It’s just some fish.” He said, and John blinked.

“No way! They’re so colorful- and look at how many there are!” John announced, and took a picture. They walked through a tunnel, and Dave shook his head.

“Please, this’ll be nothing compared to when you go with your Dave.” He said, and John stopped.

“What do you mean?” John asked, and Dave shrugged.

“Just a guess.” He said, and smirked. “Come on, I think they have an otter exhibit.” He added, and John followed him. John took pictures at every exhibit, and after an eventful time walking around, they decided to visit a few other places. At one point, they got lost, and found themselves in the area where people fed the sharks.

“How did we get here?” John questioned, and looked down at his map.

“I don’t know- maybe we can ask someone for help.” The blonde said, and John saw a woman with long hair turned around, holding fish. She stood above a shark tank (yeah, they were really lost.) and giddily tossed fish inside.  She stood over a railing with a pail. Unfortunately, said railing was the only thing between her and the tank of sharks. The woman hummed to herself, and she had earbuds in her ears.

“Um, hello? Excuse me!” John called, but she didn’t answer. He noticed her slight sway as she threw the fish inside, and eventually, saw the white earbuds in her ears. John realized she couldn’t hear him. He desperately looked around, but she seemed to be the only one in the area, and he didn’t want to get lost again. After conferring some possible options with Dave, the two climbed a ladder, and crossed the area over the shark’s tank. She still didn’t see him, considering that her back faced them, and they tentatively walked up behind her.

Of course, that was when things started to go wrong. John shyly tapped her on the back. Instead of turning towards him, the mystery woman moved in the opposite direction- towards Dave, who couldn’t touch anyone. He jerked himself away from her. It would have been fine, if he wasn’t above a railing. To his surprise, he started to fall over the side, and John reached his hand out to grab him, while saying the blonde’s name.

“Dave!” He cried, horror on his features, but Dave was already too far away for John to grab him. Just before hitting the water, John heard his voice speak.

“Shit, sorry John!” He called, and disappeared in a red flash of light. Relief fell on his face when he realized that Dave was okay, but a nervous whisper brought ice into his veins.

“Oh my cod.” The woman, who’d watched the scene in surprise, had her mouth hanging open. In an instant, her earbuds left her ears, and her eyes were wide. She stared at the water, shock written all over her features.“Did that buoy just disappear?” She asked him, and John’s eyes were wide. He looked around- no one else was there. He had no idea what to do now- maybe he could lie?

“Um… no?” John tried, but of course, the question was rhetorical. He forced a laugh. “That was, uh, my cell phone! It had a really big red screen.” The woman put a hand on her forehead, not remembering that it reeked of fish.

“He just disappeared.” She said again, and John knew it was a lost cause. He was mentally running through things he could do, and he felt his hand fall on the hammer in his jacket pocket. Could he knock her out? Maybe he could- an excited scream cut him off. It reminded John of the noises Nepeta would make when she got into a ship, and she looked at him, ecstatically. “That’s so cool! I’ve never met one that could-” John took a step back, panic written on his features. He had no idea what to do, and didn’t know if there were cameras, or anything! She seemed to realize how nervous he was mid excitement and put her hands up, in an attempt to be reassuring. John held his hammer in his hand now, and her eyes widened at the sight of the weapon.

“Woah, wait! Don’t use that- It’s okay! Don’t freak out! I’m going on break after I finish this.” She said, and put a fishy hand on her head. She seemed to make a decision. “Look, please don’t hit me with that! I don’t know how the shell you got here, but… but we can talk about it in a few minutes. The sharks are still hungry. Get off of this platform, it’s dangerous- and wait over there for me, please.” She said, and something about her tone made John decide to agree.

“O-okay.” He went back down the ladder/stairs thing and stood on the ground. Of course, he still had a million questions about what she’d do to him running through his mind, but he couldn’t exactly just walk away now. John wished Dave was here. After all, he was stuck in Seattle with some strange lady that could have exposed the things he worked to keep secret. A minute or two of wary waiting had her standing in front of him, and she sighed.

“Follow me.” She said, and John had no choice but to walk after her, and found himself in an office. He was still hopelessly lost, but at least she knew where she was going.

“You can sit. I shore didn’t think I’d be doing this today.” She said with a sigh, and John looked off to the side.

“Doing what, exactly?” He asked, and she rested her head in her hands.

“Revisiting something I left behind ages ago.” John shifted uncomfortably, but decided to take the initiative and talk.

“Oh. Uh, well, I know you saw something pretty crazy, but, can I convince you to forget it ever happened?” John tried, and she laughed.

“No, sorry. I don’t think I can forget a kid disappearing before almost falling into a shark tank, sorry. But, you can trust me- I won’t tell anyone.” She promised, and John looked at her in surprise.

“Really? Why not?” John asked, and she gave him a half smile.

“Just because I don’t involve myshellf in people that aren’t human, doesn’t mean I don’t know about it! I sea people every day- but I’ve never caught someone as cool as your friend before! What is he?” She asked him, grinning, and John blinked.

“Caught? Wait, no! Hold on, I can’t share that. Who are you?” John asked, and the excitable woman sat back in a chair, pushing a strand of her excessively long hair back.

“Oh, that shore was rude of me- my name’s Feferi! I’m a biologist- and I have an eeling that you know that supernaturals exist, right?” She asked, and John paused, then nodded.

“Yeah. I know. That doesn’t tell me why I shouldn’t be freaking out though. I’m sorry, but I don’t know who you are, or if I can trust you with my friend’s secret, or anything.” John said, and she nodded.

“That’s under-sand-able. I guess I’ll tell you them- I’m not going to tell anyone- I’ve lived with this type of thing for most of my life too. So, when I say I won’t tell, you’d be betta off believing me. You’re human, right?” She asked, and John nodded. After that admission, John felt iotas better about the situation. Apparently, the lack of panic was clear in his face now, and his shoulders fell from their stiff position. She smiled in satisfaction. “So, what- your hot magic boyfriend told you his secret, and now you’re tuna scared to let anyone else know?” She asked, and John’s ears flushed in embarrassment.

“No! He’s not my boyfriend! He’s my best friend though- kind of.” She blinked, then covered her mouth with her hand.

“Oh! Sorry, this is a popular date spot- I just assumed. But you’re one of the only humans in the world that know, and other people aren’t supposed to find out, right?” She confirmed, and John nodded.

“Um, pretty much.” Feferi’s grin could have broken her face in half, and John wasn’t sure if he was supposed to smile back. He felt a little uncomfortable- but his initial reservations about Fereri were gone, and he doubted she’d tell anyone.

“Wow! It’s so exciting meeting someone else that knows! Well, I’ve known about them for a while. While I do biology, I got into figuring out what’s inside the part of the species hu-manitee doesn’t know about. That’s a reely long shorey, and it has a lot of deep history- but trust me, you’re secret’s safe here. Can you tell me what he is? I’ve never met one that can teleport before!” She said excitedly, and John looked down.

“I don’t really know the full story yet, but so far, he’s a vampire. He’s also like, a duplicate of my best friend, but I was still really worried when he almost fell down.” Feferi nodded.

“I understand, but trust me. The sharks are the sweetest here- they’re my second favorite, to the cuttlefish! I just love sea life, you know?” Feferi asked, and John nodded.

“Yeah, your zoo-aquarium is really cool! We only ended up back there because we got lost- sorry about that.” John said, and she smiled sympathetically.

“It happens. Say, what’s your name? I never asked.” She commented, and John looked surprised, but answered.

“Oh, I’m John! John Egbert- it’s nice to meet you, Mrs. Feferi!” He said, and her entire disposition changed. The cheery, bubbly person he’d seen a second ago turned cold in seconds.

“Egbert?” She questioned, and John looked confused, but nodded.

“Um, yeah. I think my last name is pretty unique.” John said, and Feferi’s clasped hands seemed to squeeze together tighter.

“You… you wouldn’t happen to be related to a Jane Crocker, would you?” She asked, and John looked confused, but nodded.

“That was my mom- why, is something wrong?” John asked, and she didn’t answer for a second. “Feferi? Are- are you going to tell?” John asked, and she seemed to snap out of some phase.

“What? No! I’m not- you’re Jane’s son. Do you know about me? I’m Feferi Piexes.” She said, and John shook his head.

“No, I’m sorry. Did you know my mom?” John asked, and she ran a hand through her hair, looking at him nervously, even guiltily.

“Know her? John, I- I’m the reason why she died.”

______________________________--------------

AN: Hey, there’s the end.

JAFNF Chapter 116

(Tuesday, May 11 th )

“What?” John sat in his chair, disbelieving. He wanted to make sure he was hearing correctly. “How? You- my mom was murdered?” The words came out as a question, and Feferi sighed.

“It’s a long story.” She said sadly, and John looked at her.

“Uh, I think I have time!” He said incredulously, and she rubbed a hand on her head.

“I know. I- I don’t. I still have to get back to work- can I call you?” She asked, and John sputtered.

“Call you? I’m-” John sighed. He could save the accusations for later. And this lady had just agreed to keep Dave’s secret. Even though the need for the information was burning him from the inside out, he slowly nodded.

“You can.” John said finally, and she bubbled with appreciation.

“Thank you. I’ll give you my pester chum, or just my number.” She said, relief evident in her tone. They exchanged numbers, and John looked at her seriously.

“I really do want to know why you knew my mom, please. But- answer this first. Did you personally kill her, in front of my dad?” John asked, and Feferi shook her head wildly.

“No, I didn’t, I promise. I’ll call you tomorrow, or text you tonight, okay, John?” She asked, and John nodded. “Oh, do you need directions getting out?” She asked, and John nodded. She stood up from behind her desk and opened the door. “I’ll lead the way.” John followed Feferi out without saying much, and she commented on the various exhibits they passed. She led him all the way to the front entrance, and John looked up at her. She’d lost the bounce in her step, and he frowned.

“Thank you, Feferi.” John said, and the woman nodded at him slowly.

“Of course. Um, John?” She asked him, making the boy turn.

“Yes?”

“I’m sorry.” She said, and John didn’t answer. She understood- even Feferi wouldn’t have known what to say to that. John nodded and walked out, receiving a stamp on his hand. He should have been leaving soon anyway, if he wanted to return home at a decent hour. As he made his way back to the car, Dave appeared in front of him with a flash of red.

“Hey, John.” He said, and John’s eyes widened, before he looked at the vampire in surprise.

“Dave! You’re okay- I was worried.” Pie Dave only offered him a ghost of a smile, but his eyebrows knit in worry.

“Please, you know I’m fine. Are you okay?” He asked him, and John let out a noncommittal shrug.

“I guess. I just met someone that had to do with mom’s death.” He said, and Dave nodded sympathetically.

“Feferi, I know. She’s not a bad person.” He said, and John didn’t even ask how the blonde knew, he just nodded and accepted it. “Anyway, your dad’s still on his trip, right?”

“Yeah. He won’t be back until this weekend.” John responded, and the blonde put his sunglasses atop his head, then moved into the driver’s seat.

“Good. I know this was supposed to be fun, but I fucked it up. Before we leave Seattle, want to do something else?” He asked, and John looked to the side.

“I don’t know, Dave. I don’t think I’m really in the mood.” John said, and Dave nodded.

“At least let me get you food.” John looked at him.

“I can eat at home. You don’t need to buy me anything.” He responded, and Dave frowned.

“I’m not doing it because I need to- I actually want to, Egbert. I love hanging out with you.” He said, and a smile tore at John’s face, but he still looked determined not to agree.

“I love hanging out with you too! I just know we had a really eventful day, and I don’t think I’m up for any more drama.” John said, and Dave rested a hand on the wheel.

“Okay, look, John. Which one would you regret more? Going and doing whatever I’m planning, or not?” He asked, and John stopped to think about it.

“Well, Dave…”

“John, you trust me, right?” Dave asked, and John rolled his eyes.

“Of course I do, Prince Ali.”John responded, and Dave grinned.

“Perfect, then I can show you the world!” He sang, and John laughed.

“Please don’t.”

“Your wish is my command, Jasmine.” He responded, and John crossed his arms.

“I’m not Jasmine.” He responded, but John carefully dropped the keys into Dave’s hand. The blonde grinned in triumph, and turned on the car.

“You sure? I think you’d look good in a crop top and parachute pants, princess.” Dave winked, and John scoffed, then a delish expression crossed his face.

“Actually, Mc Hammer wore pants like that- I think you’d be better in them.” John said, and Dave raised an eyebrow.

“Oh, yeah? Why?” He asked, and John smirked.

“Because, you can’t touch this.” John said, and paused for a second. Dave ripped off his sunglasses.

“That wasn’t even good bad. What the fuck?”

“I saw the opportunity.” Dave shook his head in disgust, but they still drove off into the late afternoon. After a little maneuvering and a lot of wishing he was Kanaya, Dave parked outside of the Café Racer, and informed John that they were there.

“Racer?” John asked, and Dave smirked.

“Trust me, it’s awesome.” Dave held the door open for John, who walked in, and his eyes widened at the restaurant’s interior. It was the color of a cheeto, and had framed images on every wall. He found a sign with the acronym “OBAMA” on it, and Dave walked in after him.

“Dave, what is this?” John asked, his curiosity spiked. Dave grinned.

“This is the Café Racer, home to the Official bad art museum of art, and the Café Razor, where you can get haircuts.” He responded, and John grinned.

“Holy shit.” He said, and Dave smirked.

“Holy shit is fucking right.” Eventually, they were seated, and John looked at the menu. He took a glance at the wall and giggled. The images were bad enough to be funny, and John found himself snorting at a particularly wide eyed child. John and Dave both ordered, and Dave had a smug expression on his face. Even with the sunglasses he put on, John could tell.

“Okay, this place is pretty cool, so far.” John commented, and Dave smirked.

“I know, right? Tell me I’m the best.”

“I’m the best.” John responded, and Dave laughed.

“I walked into that one.” John nodded in satisfaction.

“You totally did. Anyway, look at all of the portraits in here. Which one do you think that I could make?” John asked, and Dave surveyed the room. He pointed at an image of a piano, but warped.

“That one.” He said, and John giggled.

“You think I would make that?” He asked, and Dave shrugged.

“I’m sure you could. What about me?” He asked, and John pointed to a picture of bean people dancing around a statue of a woman’s torso.

“That one. For irony.” John elaborated, and Dave smirked.

“You think?”

“I do.” John said, and Dave looked at it appreciatively for a second, and burst out in laughter.

“You’re right, what the fuck?” He asked, and John giggled with him. Their food arrived and they thanked the server, then both ate. After a greasy(ish) meal, they stood up to browse the paintings, where they found more images to laugh at. Dave kept a reasonable distance from John, and John almost seemed unhappy with the fact, but he understood. They browsed the seemingly endless halls, and took pictures in front of various pieces of art. John asked someone to take his picture with Dave, and they did their best not to touch as they posed in front of the area. The stranger smiled at them and handed John his phone back.

After walking around for a while, they decided it was time to go back. After all, it was starting to get dark, and they still had a drive home that was just under an hour long. They joked the entire ride long, and ‘Princess’ seemed to become John’s permanent nickname, much to his chagrin. He was okay with it though, considering that it came from a guy he called Pie Dave. The blonde drove John back, and after they pulled into John’s silent garage, John went inside.  John ended up walking Dave to the front door, but did it from the inside out. As they stood in front of the open door that led to his suburban neighborhood, Dave offered John a smirk, and had his sunglasses off again.

“Hey, thanks for tonight, Dave. I had a lot of fun.” John said, and Dave smirked.

“Anything for you, princess!”

“Do not call me that.” John responded, and Dave could only laugh.

“Suit yourself, Babe.” He said, his tone joking, and John rolled his eyes.

“Whatever douche bag.”

“I’m a cool douche bag.” Dave argued, and John shook his head, but agreed.

“The coolest. Night!” John announced, and Dave winked at him.

“Night babe!” He disappeared before John could find a witty comeback, and John closed the door. The boy shook his head- he’d never completely understand Dave’s irony. His house felt lonely again, but John found that he didn’t mind much. With memories of their evening playing back in his brain, John walked further into his home, and found his backpack. After doing a little work (though he had most of it done anyway), John decided to keep his phone beside him. He waited for Feferi’s text for a while, and eventually, it came.

Cuttlefish Culler (CC) began pestering ecto Biologist (EB).

CC: )(ey John

EB: Feferi?

CC: T)(at’s me!!!!

CC: So, I s)(ould probably tell you about your mom and me, )(uh???

EB: That would be good.

CC: Okay! 38) But before I do, you have to promise not to get involved.

CC: There’s a lot of glubbing around involved, and I don’t want you to get hurt!

EB: What do you mean, get involved?

EB: Is there something I should be doing?

CC: No.

CC: I can’t tell you about all of this until you promise not to do anything.

CC: It’s part of a promise I made a long time ago.

EB: I don’t know.

EB: Will you tell me what’s going on if I don’t promise?

CC: I can’t.

CC: You deserve to know, John, but not at the expense of your safety.

EB: Really?

EB: What if… I promise not to do anything irrational?

EB: It’s not like I’m just going to stop breathing and literally do nothing after you tell me.

EB: But if I say I won’t do anything crazy, will you tell me?

CC: WOW, JOHN!!

CC: You drive a hard bargain.

CC: You’re a lot like your mom.

EB: Really? How did you know her?

CC: W)(ale, your mom worked for my grandmother, technically.

CC: B-ETTA CROCK-ER.

EB: Betty Crocker?

EB: That was your grandmother?

CC: Y-E-P!!

CC: Anyway, )(ave you )(eard the story about how your mom was supposed to be the next )(ead of the company, but she died mysteriously?

EB: Well, not mysteriously.

EB: Your grandmother sent super naturals to kill her, right?

CC: Kind of.

CC: Wait! You never promised!!

EB: Oh, yeah.

EB: Then, I promise not to do anything irrational with the information you give me.

CC: Okay, good.

John let out a long breath. He couldn’t see himself doing anything crazy anyway, but he knew he wanted to hear about this lady’s involvement with his mom. So, though he felt guilty, John crossed his fingers behind his back. Of course, the act of putting two fingers atop each other didn’t make breaking a promise right, but it was the best thing he could do to ease his conscience, for now.

CC: Okay, I’ll start from a little fart)(er back.

CC: Back when your mom first worked for Crockercorp, she and I became good friends. Back then, I didn’t know anything about the supernaturals.

CC: I was just trying to study biology, and my grandmother was my legal guardian, so I stayed around her. I ended up taking a job as a secretary at Crockercorp’s HQ, since the pay was okay, the job wasn’t hard, and it was a good filler for something to do before I had my first jobs in Aquariums.

CC: I saw your mom come in some times. I knew her as a woman with a four year old, even though she was around my age, and somehow, she’d managed to start working at Crockercorp Head quarters. Anyway, I saw her leaving work one day. After I waved goodbye and prepared to leave myself, she walked out of the building.

CC: About two seconds later, I heard her scream. Now, it was really late at night, and we were in the city. The scream stopped suddenly, and after gathering a little courage, I ran out to help her.

CC: There was a random guy, on the streets at night. He attacked her with a knife, and I could see she was terrified. So, I ran in to help.

CC: We struggled for a little, and I ended up separating the two, but he stabbed me in the stomach before he ran away.

CC: It hurt a lot, and I knew I was going to die.

CC: I was actually bleeding out in front of her, and I guess she realized the hospital couldn’t get there in time.

CC: She called 911 first, and they took me into an ambulance. I think I would have been okay dying after saving someone like that. I vaguely remember her holding my hand, while all of the doctors tried to save me.

CC: A second before the doctor was going to announce that I was dead, she discretely brought my hand to her lips and squeezed it.

CC:  It sent, like, a pulse through my body, and somehow, my heart started beating again.

CC: I know it sounds crazy, but she risked detection to save my life.

CC: They didn’t have cameras in the ambulance or anything, and she was careful enough where the doctors didn’t see her, but she saved me!

EB: No way.

CC: I know, Right!!

EB: Uh, sorry if I sound really weird here

EB: But normal, ordinary people don’t just bring people to life, right? That’s not a thing humans just do.

CC: John, your mom was anything but ordinary.

CC: Actually, she was a sprite.

EB: A sprite?

EB: Like, the drink?

CC: No, like the ultra powerful, super rare supernatural.

CC: A sprite. I’m not surprised if you haven’t heard of it, she was rare. I mean, rarer than fairies, rare.

CC: I’m pretty sure only one other one has existed in the history of ever.

CC: And it was definitely too long ago for your mom to have known them.

CC: Sprites are physically no more powerful than humans.

CC: They’re just as vulnerable as the rest of us.

EB: But she’s still super powerful? How?

CC: Not all power means how hard you can kill someone, John.

CC: She specialized in healing. I think it’s specific by each sprite- but there have only been two, according to her.

CC: I know that may not sound super cool, but trust me, it was.

CC: She could bring people back from the dead.

EB: What??

CC: You heard me. Or read me.

EB: But, how is that possible?

EB: Shouldn’t she have been out curing cancer or something?

CC: Actually, she could have. But that would have exposed her, and she would have been exploited. Like I said, she was just as vulnerable as us. If she wanted to, she could do anything- but people would have found out, so she didn’t tell anyone about herself. After all, if people knew, they could have done anything to her. She didn’t want to live a life in fear of being kidnapped, or having her loved ones threatened.

EB: So, what did she do then?

CC: Most of the time though, she liked baking.

CC: I was never sure on the specifics, but I knew she was reelly something special.

CC: She made me promise not to tell anyone about her.

CC: So I didn’t.

CC: My mother wanted me to be the heir to her company- but I didn’t want to.

CC: I always knew there was something weird about Crockercorp.

CC: But not… not what I found out. It was bad.

CC: Crockercorp was a HUGE Baking empire from the 60s.

CC: But it was also deep in SUPERNATURAL SHELLNANIGANS!

EB: What do you mean?

CC: Shellnanigans.

CC: Like, Shenanigans?

EB: No, I got that.

EB: I mean, what type of shellnanigans

EB: Shenanigans

EB: what were they up to?

CC: OH! That.

CC: THEY DID A LOT!!

CC: There were EXPERIMENTS, JOHN!!

CC: My grandmother said she’d cure the necessity to turn people, for creatures like daemons, and others that had to.

CC: Of course, anyone that’s taken a supernatural biology course would know how impossible that is.

CC: But some heads of councils, or rich super-naturals didn’t know.

CC: They believed her, and sent in enough money to start these facilities all over the world.

EB: Okay, but time out.

EB: What was she doing, if she wasn’t curing them?

CC: She was making them. Engineering them.

CC: She’d kidnap humans, John.

CC: Then, through whatever process she concocted, she would brainwash, hypnotize, experiment, and kill people. At times, she had to hypnotize people into saying that they were various super-naturals that had been “cured”. Of course, It was all a load of mackerel, but it made people continue funding.

CC: The people she kidnapped usually knew nothing about this, but she’d use torture, mind control, or anything else to make her sponsors believe she was doing something good.

EB: So, how did your grandma mind control people?

EB: That’s not a thing most humans can do either.

CC: No.

CC: She definitely wasn’t human.

CC: Actually, she was a siren.

EB: Like, the whee-ooo firetruck thing?

CC: NO LIKE A MERMAID! But with a human form, I think.

EB: Oh.

EB: Yeah.. that makes more sense.

CC: Yeah.

EB: Wow.

CC: No kidding. My mom was an evil scientist capable of hypnosis and probably raising armies to take over various races, or something.

CC: It …. Wasn’t a great thing to learn that I was supposed to be next in line for that.

EB: Okay, That’s messed up, but Why did she do it?

CC: She never told me the end goal.

John was silent for a second, as he took in the information. Emotions and confusion raged through him, and he still hadn’t figured out where his mom fit in. John felt terrified- how could he not have known? Latula flashed through his mind, and he realized that she’d probably been one of those experiments. He didn’t say anything for a while, and Feferi said something else.

CC: Hey, don’t feel bad about it, John. It was a secret.

EB: I know. But, I always hated Betty Crocker, but to know that I have such a reason for it now is like, mind blowing. I mean, I knew she was involved in killing my mom, but not… not all of this.

CC: Don’t worry, I DE-FIN-ITELY felt stupid when I found out too.

CC: I should have realized something was wrong when my mom, Meenah, refused to do it.

CC: Or, at least when I saw that my grandmother looked like she was in her late 20’s, even though she’d been alive since the late 40’s.

EB: What? How?

CC: How much do you know about supernaturals, John?

EB: I mean, I’m a hunter, but…

CC: You’re a hunter???

CC: Wait, were you trying to hunt that kid?

EB: No! No way, he’s my best friend.

EB: The group I’m in is more of a questions/ help first, kill second type of group.

EB: We try not to kill unless, you know, they’re hurting someone.

CC: Wow, I wish more groups were like you!!

CC: ACTUALLY, Meeting someone with a philosophy like that is

CC: REELY EXCITING!!!

CC: Are there more???

CC: How long have groups like yours existed!!???

CC: Do other hunters know!??

EB: Um, Feferi?

CC: HOW LONG does it take for you to confirm that they’re trying to hurt people??

CC: When-

CC: Oh, yes, John?

EB: Can we talk about that later? I think we got off topic.

CC: OH, YEAH!!

CC: Sorry, I forgot, I have a tendency to get pretty excited!!!

EB: Heheh, that’s okay!

EB: But I would like to know.

EB: How did my mom fit into all of this?

EB: And why do you say you’re the reason she died?

CC: oh… yes.

CC: Well, Jane was a wonderful person. Sometimes though? I think her drive to do good let her ignore logic.

CC: She knew about the size of Crockercorp, and the powerful people around her.

CC: She thought she could shut it all down on her own. I don’t know how she was planning to take down grandmother. She would have been a hard fish to fry.

CC: Jane had no allies with her except for me, and you’d need an army to take down my grandmother.

CC: After she saved me, I spent a lot more time around her.  After all, I owed her my life.

CC: I mean, she was already a wonderful friend, but we started associating more often.

CC: At one point, Jane told me what Crockercorp was reelly doing, and that she planned to stop it.

CC: I was behind her all the way, and tried to help her where I could. Things went well, for a while.

CC: Then, One day, Grandmother wanted to talk to me.

CC: She explained the existence of supernaturals, and told me what she was doing.

CC: Of course, she didn’t tell me the full story- she just sold me the same lie as she told the donators.

CC: Then, she asked me to be the company heir.

CC: If I didn’t know Jane, I wouldn’t have had any reason to doubt her.

CC: After all, as an heir, I made sense. I was already well into the field of biology, and I would be inheriting some serious wealth, along with working for, what she explained was, anyway, a good cause.

EB: Did you agree?

CC: Of course not!

CC: Jane had already explained what was really going on!

CC: She had evidence, pictures, powers, and a plan.

CC: I already knew who was telling the truth.

CC: So, I pulled a mom and refused.

CC: Grandmother didn’t even look surprised when I did it.

CC: That should have been a clue, or a warning. Or something that would have told me not to do what I did next- but of course, I didn’t pick up on it.

CC: I feel like the whole thing was more of a setup than anything.

CC: Just to figure out where my allegiances lied.

EB: Why do you say that?

CC: It’s not like she was dying any time soon. The idea of being an heir would mean that she’d have to give up the company and go into retirement.

CC: And, considering that she hadn’t even told me the full story, that was pretty unlikely. PLUS, She’s a siren, and they live for a while.

EB: But, okay, I doubt I would have even realized it then. That’s not the reason, right?

CC: Even if all of that wasn’t true, John, her reaction made no sense.

CC: What she should have been thinking, provided that this wasn’t some big test, was that her granddaughter just refused fabulous wealth to work for a good cause within a field that I enjoyed.

CC: Not only that, but I’m a terrible actor- and I had to pretend to be surprised when she told me about supernaturals.

CC: If she was really asking me to be the heir, she would have been mad, or confused, or SOMETHING.

CC: She was just so calm- it made no sense.

CC: That should have been a sign!

EB: What did she say after you told her no?

CC: She asked if someone else would make a better heir for Crocker Corp.

CC: I

CC: I SAID JANE.

EB: What? Why?

CC: I thought I was helping. Of course, It was a dumb decision.

CC: Your mom’s whole idea was to rise up under the radar.

CC: You know, get to a really high place in the corporation, then take my grandmother out of power.

CC: From her high position, she could have taken over, and stopped the supernatural’s experiments.

CC: She didn’t even tell her family, John. That’s how secretive she wanted to be with this.

CC: So, when I found out about her, I tried to help her in any way that I could. I tried to help her move up through Crockercorp, and I had a little influence, as the head of the company’s granddaughter.

CC: I know she appreciated my help, but Jane was all about waiting for the right moment.

CC: And with a plan like that, along with sprite powers, I think she could have done it.

CC: So, when I suggested Jane, I made a huge mistake.

CC: It put Jane in a spotlight. I thought it would help her get promoted, or considered.

CC: Instead?

CC: It only let grandmother discover her.

CC: Jane had helped me with so much.

CC: She got me through the guilt of knowing what my grandmother was doing, and explained why my mother decided to run away.

CC: I owe her everything.

CC: And to pay her back? I unintentionally betrayed her.

CC: It was only a matter of time from when I recommended her to when she died.

CC: On the night, when my grandmother got people to attack her, she was mind controlled throughout most of it.

CC: You were told that she died while on a moonlit stroll at the beach, right?

EB: I… Yes??

CC: My grandmother hid near the rocks on the beach before killing her.

CC: She hypnotized her in the water, where her power was strongest.

CC: A siren’s hypnosis, while underwater, is enough to break pretty much any supernatural.

CC: By the time her henchmen came in, your mom was defenseless. She couldn’t get to saftety, because she was hypnotized into staying there.

CC: And it was all my fault.

EB: ….

EB: Why don’t I know this?

EB: Why haven’t I been told yet?

EB: Roxy told me-

CC: That’s my fault too.

CC: Your mom told me she never wanted her close friends and family to be involved in all of this.

CC: Especially her best friend.

CC: So, when she came to me, shaken, and wondering what happened, I lied.

CC: Or, twisted the truth.

CC: Everything I told her was true, but I didn’t tell her what my grandmother was doing.

CC: I couldn’t.

CC: Jane stressed that I didn’t let her get involved.

CC: She said she’d try to shut down everything to help her, or throw her life away because of how much Jane involved herself in this. She cared about all of you a lot.

CC: Jane made me promise not to let her, or anyone else that was close to her, get involved.

CC: Which I why I made you promise not to, you know, do anything crazy.

EB: Are Betty’s facilities still in operation today?

CC: John.

CC: You’re not going to do anything crazy, right?

CC: I left Crockercorp behind completely. I don’t want anything to do with them, and you shouldn’t either. They’re too dangerous to get involved with.

EB: Are they still hurting people?

CC: John! You can’t take them down. No one can stop them!

CC: You have no idea how big they are, John. They span the globe, and have a facility in every state. You can’t shut them down.

CC: I already know. I tried, okay? I attempted picking up after Jane, but I realized there was nothing I could do.

CC: My mother, Meenah, knew all of this too. She ran away because she knew no one could stop these people. Not without revealing supernaturals to the human world, and not without dying.

EB: But hunters. Isn’t this what they’re supposed to do?

EB: Their job is to hurt the super-naturals that are hurting people, and if people are being kidnapped, and brainwashed, and killed, then we need to stop them!

CC: John. I’m telling you now. You can’t stop them. Not without the entire world on your side. Betty Crocker’s underground is too massive for anyone to comprehend- it’s like saying one person could stop an apocalypse. They’re doing what they do, and you can’t stop them. No one can.

EB: That’s not true! You believed mom could shut it down.

CC: Your mom is dead. Because of me. And if you think I would let her son rush into this, then you’re wrong. I told you because you deserve to know how your mother died, but not at this cost. Betty Crocker may be dead, but she’s still unbettable. If you start trying to go against her, you will die.

EB: Feferi, they’re hurting people.

CC: So are everyday street thugs, John. If you want to be a hero, there’s other ways to do it. This is too big of a fight for one person.

EB: There has to be something I can do. We can talk to other hunters. I… I think I know someone that they experimented on! We busted into a facility once, on accident. But I never knew all of this was happening. Roxy and the others need to know.

CC: They’ll die, John.

EB: But what if they keep other people safe by dying? We have to stop these people!

CC: John. No. Your mom didn’t want you to know for this reason. She never wanted you to get all wrapped up in this super natural thing. She wanted you to be happy!

EB: How would I be happy if I knew people were getting kidnapped every day and people that could stop it aren’t?

CC: You don’t know that. No one can stop them. At the very least, we’d need the police involved. If we can’t have that, then there’s no way anyone could stop this!

EB: Okay, well.. what if we got the police involved?

CC: Then they’d find out about supernaturals.

EB: Is that… such a bad thing?

CC: You saw X-Men, right?

EB: We have to be able to do something.

CC: If you find something out, let me know.

CC: Until then though, I don’t want you going near this.

CC: I’m really sorry about all of this, John.

EB: I know. I just wish I could do something.

CC: Hey, maybe you can, in the future.

CC: But until then?

CC: Steer clear of Betty Crocker.

CC: After all, you promised, right?

EB: I did.

CC: I have to go now, alright?

CC: But you can talk to me whenever, okay?

EB: Okay. Thanks, Feferi.

CC: Any time, John.

CC: Oh, and if you ever want to know more about biology- marine or supernatural, I’m here.

Cuttlefish Culler (CC) ceased pestering ecto Biologist (EB).

_______________________________________________-

JAFNF Chapter 117

(Wednesday, May 12 th )

When John walked downstairs that morning, he smelled food cooking. After his initial surprise at seeing Roxy in the kitchen, he wanted to greet her. Before he tried, he realized that she had a spatula in one hand and a phone on her shoulder. The woman hastily flipped a pancake, and laughed into the phone.

“Please, we’re fine. I heard him get up a little while ago.” She was silent for a second, and put a hand on her hip. “No, Dave’s not here. Should he be?” She asked, and then pursed her lips. “I’ll tell him. I’m sure John will understand. Now, didn’t you say that you just stepped out of a meeting?” She asked, and rolled her eyes. “Honestly Jacob, I think John is more than capable of caring for himself for a few days. And I’m more than capable too!” She paused, and her voice came out monotone. “Ha Ha, funny. No, I’m not.” More silence. “I’m not!” She laughed and groaned into the phone. “You’re the worst! Okay, you too. Bye.” She put the device down, and saw John standing there.

“Hi, Roxy.” He said, his voice coming out a little tired. Last night’s events definitely made him think, to say the least.

“Mornin’, Johnny! Your dad says he has to extend his trip a little more, work is picking up.” She said, and John just nodded, then sat down. He looked at his plate tiredly, and tried to smile at the blonde woman.

“Oh, thanks, Roxy.” He said, and Roxy frowned.

“You wake up on the wrong side of the bed today?” She asked, and John shook his head.

“No, just stuff.” He said, and Roxy raised an eyebrow.

“What, school stuff? People stuff? Supernatural stuff?” She asked, and John shrugged.

“All three, I guess.”

“Well, I only know one person who fits in those categories. How are things going with Dave?” She questioned, and John actually looked surprised. That wasn’t what he’d been thinking about at all.

“Actually, it’s been okay. I mean, everything seems to be okay in best friend ville. I know he’s discovering his powers, and I think it’s stressing him out. Plus, he’s never taken finals before. But I think he’ll be okay. He just seems really tense lately.” John commented, and Roxy’s eyebrows lifted. John immediately thought of the other Dave, who he was keeping hidden from his best friend. Then again, he was his best friend? Roxy’s words shook him out of his thoughts.

“So, what. You’re stressed out for him?” She asked, and John paused, but shook his head. He swallowed a bite of pancake, then answered.

“No, not like that. I just hope he’s doing okay. It’s more personal stuff, and school. The projects lately have been insane.” John said, and Roxy nodded sympathetically.

“Sorry, Johnny. Well, it’ll be over in a few weeks, right?” She asked, and John nodded.

“Yeah, summer is something we all look forward to.” John commented, and Roxy grinned.

“No kidding. Jake’s going to be away from work, which means he’ll be hanging out more often. We can do a little more hunting, and figure out what was going on with Latula.” Roxy said cheerfully, and John looked up at her.

“Uh, right. Latula.” John swallowed, and Roxy looked at him curiously.

“What?” She asked, and John’s expression looked confused. “You seem… worried?” She asked, and John sighed.

“I am. Who knows what they did to her in there?” John asked, remembering Feferi’s conversation. “What if it’s too much for us to handle?”

“John.” She said suddenly, and placed a comforting hand on his shoulder. “Don’t worry about that. We can do anything we set our minds to, especially if we work together. And if we want to crack those sick people that kidnapped her, we can. It doesn’t matter how many there are, we can figure it out. After all, we always do.” Her words were comforting, and John thought back to Feferi’s warning. He wanted to tell Roxy everything now- but she could get hurt. His mom wouldn’t have wanted that.

“Yeah. Thanks, I know.” The words felt like a hollow lie, and Roxy’s eyes searched his for something. She sighed when she finished, and bent down to hug John.

“Have a good day at school, okay, Kiddo? Don’t worry about your hunter stuff for now.” John nodded.

“I won’t. Thank you, Roxy.” The words sounded more genuine, and she had a small smile on her face when she let go. Eventually, John opened his front door and left for school. To his surprise, he saw his mom’s car by the sidewalk, and a familiar face drove it. “Dave?” He asked with disbelief, and said blonde smirked at him.

“Morning, Egbert. You ready for your magical carriage ride to the ball, princess?” He asked, and John smirked. Clearly, this was Pie Dave. John walked up to the window, a smile on his face.

“Sure, if princesses ride shotgun, and school is a ballroom.” John said, and Dave laughed.

“Get in.”

“What, no opening the door for-” Dave disappeared and reappeared beside the door, now wearing a tuxedo. He had it open for him, and bowed.

“Your carriage awaits, m’lady.” He said, and John laughed.

“Wow, okay. I was joking, you know.” John argued, but he got in the car. Pie Dave closed the door and sat in the driver’s seat again, then had his hand on the wheel. John put his seatbelt on, and they started their drive to school.

“I think this counts as a running joke now.” Dave commented, and John agreed. Dave turned on his radio, and 80’s music blasted in the car.

“80’s? I kind of expected alternative songs about death.” John said, and Dave shrugged.

“I mix it up sometimes.” He said, and John raised an eyebrow.

“Pun… intended?” He asked, and Dave groaned loudly. The sound made John laugh. “Okay, not intended.” He said, and Dave looked at him.

“Your sense of humor is terrible.”

“Your sense of clothing is even worse.” John responded, and Dave raised an eyebrow. He was still wearing the tuxedo, and John rolled his eyes. “Okay, your usual sense of clothing.”

“Oh, so you’re saying I look good?” He asked, and John gave him a look.

“Don’t you say that to yourself enough times for mine not to be necessary?”

“I’m not hearing a no!” Dave teased, and John rolled his eyes.

“Whatever. Yes, you look good in a suit. Happy?” Dave smirked.

“More than you’d know.” John wasn’t sure what to say to that, but they were pretty much at his school then anyway. Dave parked and John got out. After giving John the keys to his vehicle, Dave waved and disappeared. John still wasn’t sure what this Dave’s deal was, but he knew he could be trusted, and that he was his closest friend. It made him sad, to think that he had to hide him from his friends. He was really a nice, cool friend.

Hours later, John walked out of his last class with a practiced skip in his step. He jovially waved goodbye to Mr. English, and led Dave and Karkat outside. Karkat noticed his upbeat attitude and shivered in disgust, while Dave just took it in stride.

“You must have done well.” Dave commented, and John looked at him curiously.

“What do you mean?” He asked, and Dave raised an eyebrow. John had been acting a little distant all day, so to see him like this was a strangely radical change.

“You’re really upbeat today, I assumed you did well on the test?” John shrugged.

“I hope so. But that’s the last test of the year! Aren’t you guys happy about that?” John asked, and Karkat glared.

“What, so that they can launch us head first into finals?” He responded snarkily, and it only made John laugh.

“Oh, Karkat. Why be such a downer, it’s almost summer!” He announced, and Dave looked at John.

“Kit kat’s always a downer, you’ve known him for long enough to confirm that.”

“Dave, I will sacrifice your organs to the deity of death if you don’t stop referring to me by that shitbrain nickname.”

“Okay, shouty.” Dave smirked as he responded, and Karkat balled his hands into fists in anger.

“Strider, you think pan rotting-”

“Hey, Dave! Is that your ride?” John interrupted loudly, pointing at a truck. Said blonde looked at it, and confirmed that it was true.

“Oh. Shit, yeah. I’ll see you tomorrow, Egdork.” He said, and John grabbed him in a quick hug.

“Bye, Dave!” He called, and Dave grinned at the action before he walked away. Karkat started his trek towards the parking lot, and John followed him. Karkat looked back at him grouchily.

“Why the fuck are you following me, Egbert?” He asked, and John rolled his eyes.

“Ooh, looks like someone didn’t do so good on that test, huh?”

“John.”

“Okay, I drove to school.” John said, and Karkat looked at him with a disbelieving expression.

“Why in fuck would you do that? Parking here is hell, and you walk.” Karkat said, and John shrugged.

“I- Uh, I felt like doing something new!”He said, and Karkat looked at him disbelievingly before rolling his eyes.

“Whatever.” John followed him until he found his car, and gave him a cheery wave goodbye. Karkat actually looked a little less angry as John left, and he told him to have a good day. John pulled himself into his vehicle, and started the car. He didn’t even jump when red flashed to his right, and the voice that greeted him gave him all the information he needed.

“Hey, princess.” Pie Dave said, and John rolled his eyes. He caught a glimpse of Dave, and he wore an Aladdin outfit. John didn’t even take the chance to ask questions about his clothing choice, and just snorted when he saw him. Still, he responded without missing any beats in their conversation.

“What’s up, Prince Ali?”

“I think I like being chauffeured by something other than a flying carpet from time to time.” He responded, and John rolled his eyes, then started to drive out of the school.

“So, how was your day?” They asked at the same time, and Dave rolled his eyes. “You first.” He said, and John shrugged.

“It was okay, we had a biology test. Still, I think it started off a lot more interesting than it was when school ended. What about you? Nice pants, by the way.” John said, and Dave shrugged.

“I know, right? I look like an asshole- but hey, anything for irony.” He responded, and John shook his head dismissively.

“Yeah, I’ll probably never get that. You didn’t answer my question though- what did you do today?” He asked, and Dave shrugged.

“Nothing much, just walked around a bit. I did some sbahj.” He said vaguely, and John looked surprised.

“Walked around a bit? Where?”

“More like when.”

“What?” John asked back, and Dave shook his head.

“Never mind. I dropped a few hints in places, tried to make a few optimal changes. Nothing to worry about. Anyway, I’m not staying late to hang out today. I know you have work to do.” He said, and John groaned.

“Whaat? Dave, I can do it later! Come on, yesterday was fun!” John announced, and Dave laughed.

“Yeah it was. Still, I’m not letting you tank the end of your year just so I can spend time with you. I’m an asshole, but I’m not that bad. I’ll come again later, okay?” He said, and John sighed irritably.

“Fine. Does that mean you’re just here for the car ride?” John asked, starting to pull into his driveway. Dave nodded.

“Pretty much, Egdork. Don’t worry though, I’ll see you again soon. Oh, and be sure to get out your backpack before you enter the house. See you later, John.” He said, and John looked confused at the words, but gave him a lopsided smile.

“Fiiine. See you later, Dave.” Dave smiled at him and disappeared, while John pulled into the garage. He got out of the front seat and rolled his windows down, then opened the door to the backseat, where he left his backpack. He was a little puzzled by what Dave said, but he was more than willing to follow his directions. John picked up the backpack, and his eye caught something red. He noticed it finally, and realized what it was. A bouquet of flowers sat in his back seat, along with a white card. John held it in his hand, and read it.

“To Jasmine. From, Prince Ali.” It said, and John’s face flushed. He picked up the flowers, and found that a few were yellow roses, and the rest were red. He had no idea why Dave had given this to him, but it made him tingle with anticipation and something he couldn’t name. He carried the bouquet inside, unaware of its meaning, and located a vase. After filling it with a little water, he put the flowers inside. John poured the stuff in that kept them alive for longer, and his eyes were drawn to the portrait of his mother that sat on the wall, behind her urn. She probably could have just touched them and kept them alive, forever.

“Nice flowers Johnny.” Roxy said from behind him. John jumped in surprise, then relaxed.

“Oh, thanks!” She looked at him quizzically.

“Uh, why do you have them?” She asked, and John’s ears burned. He had to make up a lie, or at least distract her.

“Um, I saw a vendor and decided to buy them. Why are you… wearing that bracelet?” He asked, and Roxy’s eyes flickered towards her wrist, then narrowed as she looked at him, and she offered him an amused smile.

“What? I’m not wearing a bracelet!” She responded, and John forced a laugh.

“Made you look.” Roxy smiled at his goofiness, but stayed persistent.

“Maybe, but I didn’t forget. Are you hiiiding something, Johnny?” She asked him, and he tried to lean against the countertop casually.

“Hiding something? Psh, Why would I do that?” He asked, but before he could answer, his phone vibrated. Then it happened again, and again. “Oh, wow! That looks important, I better take it. Bye Roxy!” He half shouted, and he sprinted up the stairs to his room. She laughed, looking at the flowers behind him and shaking her head. John returned to his room, and hastily pulled out his phone. The notification was grey. Just as John prepared to sigh in relief from how Karkat saved his butt, he read his words and turned cold.

Carcino Geneticst (CG) began pestering ecto Biologist (EB).

CG: JOHN, EXPLAIN, BECAUSE I AM SERIOUSLY CONSIDERING SEEKING THERAPY OVER WHAT I THINK I FUCKING SAW.

CG: I NEED NO JUDGMENT HERE, JUST TO CONFIRM THAT THIS CEASEPOOL OF TEENAGED HORMONES AND AGGRESSION KNOWN AS HIGH SCHOOL HASN’T COMPLETELY FRIED MY THINK PAN.

CG: BE HERE NOW, BEFORE I ASK DAVE THE SAME QUESTION.

EB: Oh, hey Karkat.

EB: Explain what?

Casual. John had to be casual- maybe it was something with biology.

CG: WHY THE FUCK DID I JUST SEE YOU IN THE CAR WITH DAVE, BUT WITH HIM DRESSED AS PRINCE ALI FROM ALADDIN?

CG: I’M NOT JOKING IN THE FUCKING SLIGHTEST HERE, JOHN.

CG: I LITERALLY MAY BE GOING INSANE, BECAUSE I SWEAR I SAW THAT.

And just like that, it was official. Now John would have to explain himself, and he knew Dave told him not to tell anyone. Still, he knew he could trust Karkat, but he didn’t want to be the revealer of Dave’s secret. Even worse, John hand no way to warn the guy. He still had no idea what exactly Pie Dave was, or how he even came into existence. Their visits were always triggered by said blonde, not the other way around. John took a deep breath. He definitely didn’t want to say anything, but its not like he could just let Karkat go confirm with Dave. So, after deciding between the lesser of two unfortunate outcomes, he made a decision.

EB: ….

EB: um, Karkat?

CG: FUCK. FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, NOPE, SHIT. WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO BE THE ONE THAT GOES INSANE? I ALWAYS KNEW IT WOULD BE STRIDER’S FAULT. FUCKING STRIDER, THAT CARDFUCKING ASSHOLE. OF COURSE HE’D COME IN LIKE A DECORATED GENERAL IN INSANITY’S FUCKING TWISTED ARMY AND PUSH ME OVER THE EDGE.

EB: Karkat.

CG: SHOULD I BOOK AN INSTITUTION? SHIT, HOW MUCH DO THOSE COST?

EB: KARKAT!!

CG: DON’T DISTURB ME NOW, I’M ON A DOWNWARD SPIRAL INTO THE DEPHTS OF INSANITY.

EB: Karkat, can you keep a secret?

CG: JOHN, WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK?

EB: Karkat, I need you to promise you won’t tell anyone what I’m about to tell you- especially Dave.

CG: JOHN.

CG: I CANNOT FUCKING BELIEVE.

CG: YOU KNOW WHAT? WHAT THE HELL, I’M ALREADY PSYCHOTIC. SURE, I PROMISE NOT TO SPILL YOUR INFORMATION FROM THE DEPTHS OF MY INSANE SOUL.

EB: You’re not insane.

EB: And that wasn’t Dave.

CG: BULLSHIT, I KNOW THAT ASSHOLE WHEN I SEE HIM.

EB: No, I mean, it was. Just not the Dave you’re thinking of.

CG:…

CG: WHAT IN THE EVER LOVING FUCK?

EB: He’s like, a duplicate, or something?

EB: He won’t explain anything to me, but he has these weird powers, and we hang out.

CG: ASSUMING I BELIEVE ANY OF THAT, WHY WAS HE DRESSED LIKE PRINCE ALI?

EB: It’s, um

EB:  part of a running joke we have.

CG: HOW LONG HAS THIS BEEN HAPPENING?

EB: Since Monday? Or technically, last weekend.

EB: He’s like Dave, but super meta. Remember when Dave came in and was freaking out about there being two of him?

CG: WOW.

CG: AND STRIDER DOESN’T KNOW? THAT HE HANGS OUT WITH YOU, I MEAN.

EB: No, and I think he wants to keep it that way.

EB: It’s weird.

CG: NO SHIT IT’S WEIRD, WHAT THE FUCK ARE DAVE’S POWERS SUPPOSED TO BE?

EB: Heck if I know.

EB: But he’s a really cool guy, karkat.

EB: It’s like he knows things, but doesn’t share.

CG: THAT JUST SOUNDS LIKE AN EXCUSE TO BE MORE OF AN ASSHOLE THAN USUAL. AND THAT IS MAKING A FUCKING STATEMENT, OKAY?

EB: Hey, Dave’s not that bad.

CG: JOHN.

EB: Not all the time.

CG: HMPH.

EB: But this Dave is really cool! We went to the aquarium yesterday, and this weird restaurant.

EB: And today he drove me to school!

EB: But we really have to keep this quiet. You can’t tell anyone, at all.

CG: FINE.

CG: WHY ARE OUR LIVES SO FUCKED UP?

CG: AND WHY ARE THERE SO MANY DAVES RUNNING AROUND?

CG: THIS MAKES LIKE, THE THIRD ONE, RIGHT?

EB: I…guess?

EB: Wow, yeah.

EB: I guess this world just needs a little more Dave.

EB: Oh, but if you ever see him, just know you can’t touch him.

CG: NOT THAT I’D WANT TO, BUT WHY?

EB: He said it would cause ‘fucked up consequences’.

CG: SEE, VAGUE ASSHOLE, RIGHT THERE.

CG: FUCK, I NEED TIME TO PROCESS THIS. WE CAN TALK ABOUT IT FRIDAY, I DON’T HAVE TIME FOR STRIDER BULLSHIT.

EB: Okay, see you later, Karkat!

CG: BYE.

Carcino Geneticist (CG) ceased pestering Ecto Biologist (EB).

CG: HOW IN HELL DO YOU FIND THAT PERSONALITY ATTRACTIVE, IN THE SLIGHTEST?

EB: He’s really cool. We went to the OBAMA yesterday.

CG: ….

CG: THE WHAT?

EB: The official bad art museum of art!

CG: WHAT THE HELL IS THAT?

EB: It’s like this place inside a restaurant that has images of horribly drawn art. I’m pretty sure he appreciated it for the irony.

CG: GOOGLE SAYS THAT’S IN SEATTLE.

EB: Yep!

CG: WHAT WERE YOU DOING IN SEATTLE?

EB: Hanging out. We went to this Aquarium/ Zoo place, and then he took me to see the museum and eat dinner. It was pretty cool. He’s pretty cool.

CG: DO YOU THINK HE’S COOLER THAN NORMAL DAVE?

EB: No? He is normal Dave. I think. He’s just another version of my best friend that happens to be able to appear wherever he wants. I think those are his vampire powers kicking in, or something.

EB: I think even you would like him!

CG: IGNORING THE WORDS “EVEN YOU”.

CG: WHY THE HELL WOULD YOU EVER ASSUME THAT.

EB: He’s really cool!

CG: WELL DAMN, EGBERT. WHAT A FUCKING INTELLECTUAL REVELATION! YOU’VE ONLY SAID THAT FIVE TIMES IN THE PAST THREE MINUTES.

EB: It’s true! It’s like he’s like, on a seprate level from everyone else. Like he knows stuff, but he’s still hanging out with me, instead of doing… I don’t know, whatever else.

EB: Plus he pops up in the middle of nowhere! Like, he just appeared in my car today.

CG: SO.

CG: WHAT I’M HEARING IS.

CG: YOU FEEL LIKE THIS GUY IS A FUCKING CELEBRITY OR SOME BULLSHIT

CG: BECAUSE HE’S ALOOF AND  RANDOM, AND GOOD AT INFRINGING ON YOUR PERSONAL SPACE?

EB: No, it’s not like that!

EB: First, it’s Dave. He’s not a celebrity.

EB: And I’m cool with him popping up wherever! It’s not like he’s appeared in the shower or anything.

CG: HONESTLY JOHN, HE SOUNDS LIKE HE’S MORE OF AN ASSHOLE THAN STRIDER CLASSIC, FROM MY PERSPECTIVE.

CG: BUT HEY, I’VE NEVER MET THE GUY. STILL, ANYONE THAT CAN JUST APPEAR WHEREVER YOU WANT AND IS AS CRYPTIC AS YOU’RE TELLING ME HE IS SOUNDS LIKE A JAWBREAKER IN THE ASS.

CG: FROM WHAT YOU’VE SAID, YOU KNOW NEXT TO NOTHING ABOUT HIM, AND HE’S JUST RANDOMLY BEEN NICE TO YOU FOR NO DISCERNABLE REASON?

CG: PLUS, HE WANTS YOU NOT TO TELL ANYONE ABOUT HIM?

EB: Karkat. What are you saying?

CG: NOTHING.

CG: JUST…  EVERYONE HAS REASONS FOR DOING THINGS, OKAY?

EB: What?

EB: Karkat, he’s Dave. Come on.

CG: I KNOW.

CG: BUT YOU DON’T KNOW ANYTHING ELSE ABOUT HIM.

EB: Are you kidding? He’s been my best friend for years!

EB: Look, we’ll talk later. I was due on a google do two minutes ago.

EB: Bye.

CG: SO, YOU JUST HAPPENED TO GO INTO THE CITY WITH AN APPARENTLY “SUAVE” (GAG ME WITH A CHAINSAW) VERSION OF YOUR BEST FRIEND, AND YOU DON’T WANT TO KEEP HIM A SECRET.

EB: Pretty much?

CG: SOUNDS LIKE YOU HAVE A SECRET BOYFRIEND HERE, JOHN.

EB: What? No. Dude, he’s my best friend.

EB: That would be like me going on a date with Dave.

CG: YEAH. I’M PRETTY SURE PLACE 1 +  RESTAURANT + FUN NIGHT EQUALS DATE.

EB: But I’m not even homosexual! Dave knows that. Don’t be Nepeta right now.

CG: HEY, NEPETA IS A NICE PERSON.

EB: We were just hanging out. No need to read into it.

CG: OKAY, HAVE YOU DONE STUFF LIKE THAT WITH DAVE?

EB: Yes?

CG: THEN WHY THE HELL DO YOU NEED TO KEEP IT A SECRET?

EB: Dave doesn’t want me to tell anyone! He said something about rushing things, I don’t know. Ask him. But it’s not like that. I’m no more romantically involved with this Dave than I am with the other.

CG: SO, YOU’RE SAYING YOU DON’T CLASSIFY THESE AS DATES. AT ALL.

CG: REALLY?

EB: With someone else, maybe.

EB: If it was Damara, then it would be!

EB: But it’s not. You know Dave and I have always been best friends. It’s not weird, Karkat.

CG: IF YOU SAY SO, JOHN.

EB: Don’t patronize me.

CG: I DON’T GIVE ENOUGH OF A FUCK FOR PATRONIZATION.

CG: BUT I CAN KEEP THIS BETWEEN US, IF THE CONSEQUENCES ARE REALLY THAT ‘FUCKED UP’.

CG: I EXPECT AN UPDATE ON WHAT HE’S DONE BY FRIDAY THOUGH.

EB: Sure, Karkat.

EB: Now, I have to go. I was supposed to be on my group’s Google doc two minutes ago.

CG: SEE YOU, JOHN.

_____________________---

AN: I NEEDED A CUTE CHAPTER OKAY.

JAFNF Chpater 118

(Friday, May 7 th )

After John’s actions the previous night, he felt no surprise when he woke up tired, again. It had been happening for the past few days now. He’d wake up, think about Betty Crocker, try to push it out of his mind, and get ready for school. John would fight off the guilt whenever he saw Roxy, and he’d continuously questioned if he was doing the right thing. Seeing Dave (his duplicate or classic) had helped him immensely, but he still felt an overwhelming sense of pressure on him, now more than ever.

He’d lied to Dave yesterday. It was clear that his best friend knew- who just bought themselves flowers? But it wasn’t like he could explain. John thought about Dave again, and his ears burned. What was that singing, yesterday? The blonde had been enchanting. John swiftly shook his head. He’d done something wrong. He should have just apologized to Dave right then, but of course, he didn’t. John frowned. He hated feeling so helpless. He wished he could talk to someone about it. Of course, he had a feeling that Dave already knew. Still, John had no idea how to get in contact with the boy. That was probably something he should ask about when he saw him again.

John sincerely hoped he would see Dave again, soon. As he finished getting ready, he hummed one of the songs Dave sang while he was in the shower. After a substantial wash, he put his clothes on, and moved downstairs. Roxy left him a note that morning, stating that she was out of the house again, but wished him a good day at school anyway. John could have eaten one of the foods in their house that morning, but he decided against it. He felt ridiculously tired. Maybe sugar would boost his morning? With that as his inspiration, John moved to his refrigerator to get some of the apple juice they kept in their house. Technically, it was for Dave, but it was John’s house. He should have been allowed to have some too. So, John opened the door, and nearly had a heart attack.

“Hey hot stuff. See something you like?” A voice asked, and Dave sat in his refrigerator. John was surprised first, and laughed second. He knew what he was quoting- he’d seen the video yesterday.

“I think I lost my appetite.” He giggled. “Why are you here?” Obviously, it was Dave’s duplication. The teenager left his refrigerator, and broke script.

“To give you this. You look tired.” He commented, handing John coffee.  The blue eyed boy naturally didn’t question how this Dave knew he was tired. After all, he appreciated it- so he grinned and took it from Dave.

“Thanks. And I got the flowers, by the way.” John’s addition made Dave smile, and he casually turned, then took the applejuice from John’s refrigerator.

“Did you like them?” John smirked.

“Yeah- good pun. They were Jasmines.” John commented, and Dave lowered his sunglasses and winked at John.

“That was the idea.” John rolled his eyes and found a cup, then handed it to Dave without touching it. Dave poured himself some juice, and downed it in seconds. He wiped his mouth, and John sipped his drink. “Thanks, Jasmine!” He said, and John didn’t even object to the nickname.

“Yeah, thank you for the coffee.” John responded, and Dave smirked.

“Your wish is my command.”

“What are you, the genie?”

“No, I’m…” He paused for effect, and broke into song. “Prince Ali, Mighty is he, Ali Ababwaaa! Strong as ten-” John put a hand up.

“I’m going to stop you there.” John said, smirking, and Dave put a hand on his chest.

“You wound me. You don’t think I’m as strong as ten men?”

“Maybe ten ants.” John responded, and Dave shrugged.

“Hey, I’ll take it. Ants can lift like, five times their body weight.” Dave said, and John resisted the urge to swat him on the arm.

“Oh, whatever. Nice singing, by the way.” Dave raised his eyebrows.

“That’s right- you’re into my voice. I almost forgot. Anyway, you ready to head to school?” He asked, and John grinned. He was definitely more upbeat now. In lieu of a response, John started walking towards the garage, and Dave followed him. John jumped into the driver’s seat and opened the door, then Dave teleported in beside him.

“Let’s go.” John said, and Dave was ready. If he was driving, he was probably going to get there a little earlier than usual, but John didn’t mind. He relaxed into the seat beside him, and his eyes strayed from the uneventful road for a second to look fondly at Dave. He still had his coffee in a cupholder. They were quiet for a second, and John finally asked the question he’d been waiting for. “Dave… what should I do about all of this?” He asked him, and Dave let out a long exhale.

“Which part of ‘all of this’?” he asked him, and John specified.

“With Feferi, and mom, and Betty Crocker. What do I do?” He asked, and Dave looked away. “I’ve been thinking about it all week- there are so many people being hurt.” John said, and Dave avoided his face.

“I don’t know. Maybe try not to think about it- you already know you can’t change it. It’s not really effecting you, is it?” He asked, and John sighed.

“No- but then again, kind of. Latula had to have been kidnapped by them. That’s Terezi’s sister. I’m a hunter- isn’t this the type of stuff we’re supposed to be stopping?” John asked, and Dave shrugged.

“I’ve never heard of a hunter group taking over a large society- but it’s not like things like this happen often either. I know you can’t change it, and it feels bad. Just try to ignore it.” Dave said, looking away. “You probably shouldn’t be asking me for advice. It’s not exactly my forte. I’m a Dave, we’re not good at shit like this.” John said, and John looked back at the road.

“I know you don’t like these, but you’re the only one who really gets what’s going on.” John explained. Dave put his hands up.

“Woah, wait. It’s not that I don’t like talking to you. I want to be there for you- I just hate knowing that I can’t fix it. I see that you’re upset, but it’s not like I can do anything right now. So, I guess I thought the next best thing was to help you forget it. I don’t know. Why don’t you talk to someone else? You don’t have to give them all of the details.” Dave said, and John looked away.

“I know, but they’ll ask questions. Dave would, Karkat would- and especially Rose and Jade. Roxy definitely would, and I don’t really know if I can tell my dad yet. I mean…” John sighed. He was far more comfortable with his father’s presence by now. Still, he wasn’t entirely sure he could go to him, especially since it had so much to do with his mom. Even if John didn’t mention her, he was sure he’d ask him questions too. Dave looked at him, a hint of a smile on his face.

“Hey, don’t freak out about your dad, I know that’s complicated for you. Do you have another trusted adult you can talk to?” He asked, and John snorted.

“Dude, trusted adult? Did you have to use that terminology?” He asked, and Dave smirked.

“Hey, there’s that smile. I missed it. But really, yeah. There has to be someone else, if you can’t talk to your friends about it. They’d probably give you better advice than ignoring it.” Dave commented, and John sighed.

“Hey, ignoring it is kind of working, right?” John asked, and Dave shrugged.

“Maybe. I don’t know how to solve this though. There has to be someone you can talk to.” John thought about it for a second, remembering the trip they’d taken moths ago.

“Well… there’s Mr. English, but he’s my teacher.” John said, and Dave looked at him.

“Hey, teachers are supposed to be good for this sort of thing. If you think he works, I say talk to him. It can’t hurt that much, can it?” He asked, and John thought about it. He was here way before classes started anyway.

“Yeah.” He decided. “I think I’ll talk to him. Thanks, Dave.” John said, and Dave smirked.

“You’re welcome. That’s what I’m here for, right?” He said, and John looked at him in surprise.

“You think so?” John asked him, and Dave put his hand on his chin.

“Well, that and other things.” John looked at him curiously, unsure if he would answer his question.

“Like what?” Dave seemed to debate with himself for a second, before coming to a decision. He spoke.

“Duh. Hanging out with you. I missed you, John.” He said, and took a look out the window. “Don’t ask me what that means, I can’t tell you.” He added, and John sighed. He should have expected as much anyway.

“Yeah, okay.” He paused for a second. “Do you think Dave’s going to be mad at me?” John asked, and Dave looked at him quizzically.

“For what?”

“I lied to him about the flowers- oh, Karkat knows about you, by the way. He saw you in the car.” John added, and Dave shrugged.

“No problem. He’s not telling anyone, right?” He asked, and John shook his head. “Good. They can’t know about me yet.” Dave said, and John sighed.

“I don’t like keeping you from Dave.” He admitted. Dave’s duplicate started to open his mouth. “I mean, I know. You don’t want any consequences. It’s just weird keeping so much from him.” John said, and Dave frowned.

“John, it’s better for him in the long run that he doesn’t know now. Trust me, okay?” Dave asked, and John sighed.

“Yeah, I do. You never told me how you… you know, exist.” John said, entering the school parking lot. Dave sighed.

“I know. We don’t have time now, you’re at school.” He said, and John reluctantly nodded.

“Soon then?” He questioned, and Dave seemed to be debating with himself again. John didn’t expect an affirmative answer, at this point.

“Maybe.” He said, and John’s face broke into a grin. Was he finally getting answers? “Not now. Soon, maybe.” Dave clarified, like he was regretting it, but John was happy enough anyway. John got out of his car and rolled up the windows. He knew Dave would probably leave now, so he looked in on him from outside.

“Thank you!” He said, and even if Dave didn’t hear him, his bright expression made him smile fondly anyway. The blonde just nodded and started to disappear. John’s hand (the one that wasn’t holding his coffee cup, of course) rested against the window, and Dave put his fading hand up to it as well. He mouthed goodbye, and John mouthed it back, before Dave completely disappeared. John shouldered his bag, and looked at the sparse parking lot before him. He was really early- but at least now, he’d have a little time to talk to Mr. English. Turning towards the school, John locked his car and began to walk towards the building.

Once he arrived at the teacher’s room, he found the door was wide open. No one was in there, save for Mr. English, and John took in a breath to build his confidence before knocking on the door.

“Oh, for the love of- Nevermind. Come in!” He called, and John walked into the room. Jake had a smile on his face that brightened when he saw John. “Oh, John! What a surprise, most of my students aren’t here this early! To what do I owe the pleasure?” He asked, and John laughed a little nervously.

“Yeah, I got here a little earlier on accident. I um, wanted to talk to you.” John said, looking down. Jake nodded.

“Of course. If you wanted to see your test grade, I have them here- there’s just a student that hasn’t taken it, so I can’t put them in yet.” He explained, and John put his hand on his neck a little awkwardly.

“Oh, it actually… wasn’t really… school related.” His voice grew quieter as he neared the end of the sentence, and Jake finally seemed to notice his demeanor. He looked at him.

“Is it about… you know?” He asked him, and John moved his hand from side to side.

“Kind of?” He said it like it was a question, and Jake stood. In a fluid motion, he closed the door.

“Alright then, John. What seems to be the problem?” He asked, and John sighed. Here he went.

“I- okay. It’s like, a situation. I don’t know if I should really give all the details…” John trailed off. Maybe this wasn’t going to work. Jake saw his faltering esteem and put a hand on his shoulder.

“John. I don’t need the details. I’m here to help you in whatever way I can, and if you don’t want to share everything, I understand. Whatever is going on, I’m here to help, not pry. Tell me what you feel comfortable sharing, and we’ll work from there, alright?” He asked, and John nodded.

“Okay.” He said, and folded his hands.

“Well, I um, I’m going through a situation right now. I know there’s something going on, and I want to stop it- but I know I can’t. If I did, it would turn out a thousand times worse than what it is now, and the people I care about it may get involved too. I don’t want anyone dealing with it, but at the same time, I want it to go away.” John said, and sighed. He wasn’t explaining right. “It’s like… okay, let’s say there’s this huge building, right? And I feel personally responsible for taking it down, but I know if I tried hitting it or something, it could hurt me, and I may not even accomplish what I’m trying to do.” John said, and built off the example. “Even If I got everyone I knew involved, we couldn’t take down the building together, and we’d all get hurt in the process. So there’s nothing I, or anyone else can do, and anyone else who tried ended up hurt too.” John looked at his teacher, who waited for him to finish. “A friend of mine told me to try to ignore it, since I can’tchange anything. But it’s still there! I still feel bad about it. I ignore it, but it’s not like that ever lets me forget it- and even worse, I can’t even tell anyone about it, because they’ll end up getting hurt if I do!” John said, and Jake finally spoke.

“John.” He said, and it made John look up. “I’ll admit I didn’t completely get your building metaphor. But, to my understanding, you’re in a situation where you feel helpless, and hopeless, right?” He asked, and John sighed.

“Yeah. There’s nothing I can do, from any angle.” John said, and Jake looked at him seriously.

“John, forgive me if my advice is a little biased. But I’m a firm believer in hope. Personally, I’ve never thought anything was unsolvable. I know, from what you’ve described, you’ve looked at this from every angle, and even tried to get insight from someone else, correct?”

“I have.” Jake sighed.

“I don’t know if this advice is applicable or not.” He started, and John listened. “But if you’ve looked at a situation from every angle and you can’t solve it, perhaps you just need to learn a little more about it. I know we’re hunters- we face some pretty unsolvable dilemmas in our work. Honestly though? I feel like if we knew a little more about all of this, we’d be able to solve even the most unsolvable of problems. Maybe you’re missing a piece to the puzzle. Understanding more about this- especially the unsignificant details involved- could help. I’d say go find out everything you can about whatever’s going on. You may find that there’s more that you can do than you think.” Jake said, and gave him an unsure look. “Did that… help at all?” He asked, and John thought about his words. He wasn’t sure yet- maybe he could ask Feferi, and she’d explain a little more. It was worth a shot anyway.

“I think so?” John said, unconfidently. At least he had something else to do now. “Yeah, I think it did. Thanks, Mr. English.” John said, his voice more assured now. Jake’s shoulders dropped in relief.

“You’re welcome, John. I assume you’d like to keep this conversation between us?” He asked, and John nodded.

“Please.” He said, and Jake smiled.

“Of course. Remember, John. There’s always hope- you just have to find it.” John nodded in understanding, and left the classroom. He needed to have a conversation.

\----------------___---

“Later, Bro!” Dave called, and Dirk wished him a good day at school. He drove away from his sibling, and Dave walked into his school with the thirty other kids in the dropoff lane. After holding the door open for the person behind him, Dave walked down the hallway, towards his first period. He’d already gotten accustomed to ignoring the appreciative looks he got in the hallway, from people of all ages. Teachers seemed to smile at him as he walked by, and girls tended to give him obvious once over glances.

Not that he blamed them. Dave Strider dressed to impress, but it wasn’t like he actually cared what other people thought. No, he dressed to impress himself, and he looked good. When he first started attending the school, the stares made him uncomfortable. Now they were a slight annoyance, and seemed as commonplace as the thousands of blood signatures around him. He made anything (and everything) he wore look both casual and calculated. If Dave walked in the school with a suit, he’d probably attract the same stares he got when he wore a hoodie and sweatpants. Not that he did that- unless he was running late. Instead, he dealt with the stares as often as he’d deal with constantly knowing the time. It wasn’t like John ever gave him a second look for his efforts anyway.

Granted, Dave kind of liked that. He liked pretty much everything about John- except for when he lied to him. Which, he did the previous day, and didn’t seem to want to offer an explanation. In truth, John had been acting weird, all week. Or maybe since Tuesday. That was when Dave noticed, at least. He’d been extraneously happy all day, and giving him second glances. Then, by Wednesday, he practically bounced into school. But by the time their lunch period rolled around, he grew pensive and spacey. On Thursday he’d lied to him about those flowers, and he seemed to switch between distant and excited almost violently.

In truth, Dave was more worried than anything. Sure, he wasn’t happy that John lied to him, and he definitely wanted to know who gave John those fucking flowers, or at least why he’d lied about it. But his mood changes seemed strange. Even worse, Karkat noticed how much pressure the boy seemed to be feeling. His shorter friend speculated that something was wrong with John, which meant that the boy hadn’t confided in either of them yet. He worried that Caliborn would try to come back, and mess with John. Not that Dave would let him, but still.

Dave did want to know what was wrong with John, and why the boy wouldn’t confide in him. If he was being honest with himself, he was feeling offended that John wasn’t coming to him with whatever was going on. A thousand theories entered his mind, one of the more prominent ones being that he’d fallen for someone else. It was probably a stupid thought, yeah, but red roses and Jasmine flowers were both heavily associated with love. He couldn’t just ignore that blatant fact, and John lying about it didn’t help either. John didn’t seem willing to talk to him either, even after he’d emphasized that he’d always be there for him. Maybe he should have stopped acting like he was fine and talked to him directly, but he really wanted John to make the first step.

By the time their lunch period rolled around, John was typing in his phone at the table. When Dave walked in and tapped him on the back, John turned around quickly. His blue eyes travelled up Dave’s body.

“Hey, Egbert.” He said, as his eyes finally landed on his face. For some reason, Dave could feel the blood rush to his friend’s face as he saw him.

“Hi Dave!” he responded normally, but Dave noticed panic in his signature, along with something he couldn’t name. The reaction was surprising, but Dave didn’t comment. He had slid in the seat next to his best friend, and looked at him.

“What are you up to?” He asked, and John shrugged.

“Oh, nothing much. Just making sure I didn’t miss anything on my homework. I thought I remembered something being due. Anyway, how are you?” John asked smoothly, and Dave raised an eyebrow. John had been typing pretty furiously into his device. He ignored that for now though.

“Pretty good. I’m 90 percent sure Bro’s going to strife me when I get home.” Dave said, and John winced in general sympathy for him.

“Ouch, I’m sorry.” They’d dissolved into normal conversation until the rest of their group came. Dave counted the number of times John had spaced out in their conversation, then come back embarrassed. It was five, in the time of an hour. It worried and honestly upset Dave, but he did his best not to show it. Even if he wasn’t on his best game with hiding his emotions, John was far too distracted today to notice him. At one point, even Karkat seemed to notice his odd behavior, but didn’t say anything.

Dave waved goodbye to John, who’d been driving to school more noticeably lately. The blonde didn’t understand the weird changes in John’s behavior, to the point where he’d even asked his older brother for help. They’d been doing that more, lately. His brother was surprisingly good for relationship issues (not that he’d be caught admitting it, ever) and the adult had actually offered him some advice. With his suggestion to give John a little more time to explain himself in mind, Dave decided he’d only ask John about it if he wasn’t making an effort by Friday, of the next week. With his resolution in mind, he felt ready enough to face whatever challenges the weekend would bring him.

__________________--

AN: A suspicious Dave is not good for a relationship, let me tell you. Also, yeah, I directly quoted W2H, because the opening scene was hilarious and I had a chance to use it. So, credit to the maker of that for those few lines, but they were meant as a reference. Watch it, by the way. It’s pretty good.  And gasp, a normal sized (not seventeen pages, what the heck) chapter. You’re welcome.

JAFNF Chapter 119

(Friday, May 14 th )

The second the bell rang in their seventh period, Dave was outside of the door. He didn’t wait for John, as was the norm, or anything else. Karkat didn’t question it. He did, however, turn around towards John.

“It’s a your house week.” He said, and John sighed.

“Um, about that, Karkat. I don’t have a movie picked out.” John said, and Karkat narrowed his eyes at him, but rolled them.

“That’s fine. We’ll find something. I’m pretty sure we need to talk.” He said, walking John out of the door. They wished Jake a good weekend, and started the short walk to John’s home.

“About what?” John asked, and Karkat looked at him disbelievingly.

“You’re fucking joking, right?”

“No, not really.” John responded, his voice even. Karkat saw the other people around him, and didn’t say anything for a few minutes. The second they were in John’s neighborhood, that changed.

“John, what the hell is going on?” He asked, and John looked away.

“Nothing is going on, Karkat.”

“He gave you flowers.” It wasn’t a question. John felt a hint of a smile tear at his face.

“Yeah. It’s an inside joke.” Karkat looked at him disbelievingly, and he entered John’s home. After giving Roxy the usual greetings, Karkat threw himself in John’s room and closed the door. His eyes narrowed.

“John. What do you know about this Dave that you’re hanging out with?” Karkat asked, and John shrugged.

“He’s really cool. You would like him.” John commented, and Karkat looked at him disbelievingly.

“I would. Me.”

“Yes!”

“Why?” Karkat questioned, and John sighed.

“He’s so cool!” Karkat withheld the remarks he could have made.

“Okay, you’ve said that at least twice now. I mean, what is he? Why is he here? How does he exist?” Karkat asked, and John shook his head.

“No idea. He just kind of pops in sometimes, and we hang out. Like, take Wednesday. He drove me to school. He goes to some respectable lengths for Irony. And on Tuesday, we went to the OBAMA!” John had a smile on his face, and Karkat looked at him blankly.

“What the hell is that?”

“The official bad museum of bad art. It’s this cool restaurant in Seattle with some hilariously bad taste. We went to this Aquarium/Zoo thing too.” John added, and Karkat’s eyes narrowed.

“Why the hell were you in Seattle?” Karkat asked, and John shrugged.

“We were hanging out! He’s really a cool guy, Karkat.” At this point, Karkat felt worried. He put a hand on his arm, and looked at John carefully. He definitely seemed brighter now than usual. Karkat knew something had been bothering John, but it clearly wasn’t this. Karkat inhaled. “Tell me everything about this guy, from when he first showed up in your life to now.” John answered without hesitation.

“Well, in early April, he just left me these random notes, everywhere. I wasn’t really sure what to think about them. They were always compliments, or really bad jokes. He gave me a birthday present, but not in person. Then, he kinda… appeared. It was two weeks ago, around when you found out about him.”

“Yes, I remember. What then?”

“Well, he said he’d see me soon. He like, appeared in my room on Monday, and after I did my homework, we hung out. I mean, if hanging out counts as messing around on the internet, anyway. Somehow, I think we decided to go to the Aquarium on Tuesday? And after we went, we visited the official bad museum thing. It was fun. Then he had my car on Wednesday, and drove me to school. He wore a tuxedo for irony, or something. And, after that, he drove me home the same day. That was when you saw him in the costume and everything. And, I haven’t seen him since.” John confessed, and Karkat raised an eyebrow.

“When did the flower giving happen?”

“He left them for me in the back seat of my car.” John responded. “It was a joke, trust me.” Karkat looked at John, suspicion evident in his tone.

“So, all he’s done is appear randomly and be weirdly nice to you.” Karkat asked, and John raised one eyebrow.

“It’s not weird.”

“Flowers, John?” Karkat asked, looking at him suspiciously.

“Yes, flowers! Red roses and Jasmines. Because he’s my friend. It was an inside joke, Karkat- it’s not weird!” Karkat’s eyes narrowed. John was starting to sound a little defensive.

“Okay then, explain the joke.” Karkat said, and John looked away.

“You had to be there. Look, it’s Dave, okay? He’s just a version of Dave that happens to be able to teleport around and needs to be kept a secret.” John explained, and Karkat sighed.

“Yeah, about that. John, you know… look. Do you know his intentions?” Karkat asked him, and John frowned.

“Intentions?”

“Why he’s doing all of this. Appearing randomly. Telling you to keep secrets.”

“He says he doesn’t want to rush things. He doesn’t want consequences either.” John said, and Karkat looked at him.

“What consequences? John, do you even know what he is?” John’s lips turned down in a frown.

“He’s my friend. My best friend, actually.” John said simply.

“He’s a duplicate of your best friend. A vague, apparently charming, version of your best friend.” Karkat said, and John didn’t deny it.

“Yeah, so?”

“You’ve known him for a month and now you trust him more than either of us.” John scoffed.

“Karkat, that’s not true.”

“But you still kept him a secret from us. You wouldn’t have even told me if I hadn’t seen him. You pretty much said you can’t trust him, after all you’ve been through together, and knowing him for six years. You know this is upsetting Dave, but you’re going with what this guy tells you instead anyway?” Karkat questioned.

“That’s not fair.”

“You’re not being fair to Dave!” Karkat responded, anger in his tone. John turned away from the boy.

“There’s more to it than that. You wouldn’t understand.” Karkat glared.

“Oh, I think I do. You think it’s not clear? Mr. Cool swept you up with his flowers and notes and his poorly disguised attempts at dates-”

“What?!”

“And you’ve fallen for it, hook, line and sinker. What if he’s just trying to gain your trust before killing you? What if he’s trying to replace Dave? He could have a million motives, and you haven’t stopped to consider any!” John glared after that.

“Karkat. He’s not replacing Dave.”

“Then why are you putting his needs second to this Dave’s, huh? You’re watching him tear your friendship apart and not doing anything to stop it. You see what you’re doing, and you don’t even fucking try to make up for it. You’re an inconsiderate asshole, John!” Karkat shouted, and John’s glare turned poisonous.

“Take it back.” John hissed, his arms crossed. Karkat looked at him.

“No. You need to get the hell over yourself John, you’re hurting him.” Karkat hissed, and John glared.

“Stop talking.” Jon ordered this time, and Karkat rolled his eyes.

“Hell no! You’re being a selfish, immature, lying asshole to your best friend, and choosing some other version of his vague instructions even as you physically see that you’re upsetting him! You fucking saw how upset he got when you admitted you couldn’t trust him. What happened to best friends telling each other everything? What the hell is wrong with you?” Karkat asked, his voice trilling with anger.

“Nothing is wrong with me, you don’t understand!” John shouted at him, and Karkat walked mere inches away from John’s face.

“Really, Egbert? I don’t understand? I think you’re the one who doesn’t get it here. Tell me, right now, that you don’t think what you’re doing is selfish. Say it, if it’s the fucking truth.” Karkat said, and John wanted to scream back at him, but he couldn’t. He thought about Latula, and all those people that were being hurt. He faltered, and Karkat saw it. “There. Right fucking there. You’re being selfish John.” Karkat stopped yelling at this point. He looked at John, disgust in his features. Instantly, he took a step back. John looked down at the ground.

“Karkat. Go home.” John said, his voice quiet. Karkat looked at him in shock first, then grim acceptance.

“You know what? No fucking problem. Before I go though, I’ll say this. You know the only thing that’s actually worse than being fucking selfish on purpose, John? Because I’ll fucking tell you. It’s being selfish, and too much of a coward to try and fix it. Dave’s done nothing but be there for you, and you do this in return? You’re watching someone that’s done nothing wrong get hurt, and doing nothing to stop it. You know what, John? You’re a fucking selfish coward, and I hope you don’t try to make things up with Dave. You don’t deserve him- and he sure as hell doesn’t deserve to deal with you. Bye.” He slammed John’s door, and made his way out of his front door in anger. John didn’t say anything for a few minutes, and a sob escaped his lips.  

JAFNF Chapter 121

(Friday, May 14 th )

John fell to the ground and covered his face in his hands. A tear slipped out of his closed eyes, and a sob escaped from his lips. He hadn’t wanted this. A sniffle sounded in his deathly silent room, and John rushed to cover his mouth with his hands. He couldn’t cry about this now- John deserved it. Karkat had been right about one thing- he was being selfish. At this point, tears streamed down his face, but he remained deathly silent. Roxy never knocked on his door, a fact he was grateful for. John couldn’t open his mouth right now, or make noise. He couldn’t do anything.

Red flashed behind him, and John was still crying, but silently. Dave walked over to him, and sat across from him. He couldn’t put his arms around him, and he ended up staying silent. After all, Dave wasn’t exactly good at hurt and comfort. That was Karkat’s forte, and it was pretty obvious that said friend couldn’t be there right then. John wiped his eyes, and he was finally able to speak. His voice didn’t tremble at all.

“Dave?” He’d asked, and the blonde looked at John attentively.

“Yes?” He asked, and John buried his face in his hands.

“I don’t want to do this anymore.” John said, and his voice broke. “I- I don’t- I didn’t want this.” It came out as a half whisper, and Dave sighed.

“John, should I talk to Karkat?” He offered, and John thought about it for a second, then shook his head and looked down.

“I- I deserve this. He was r-right.” John said, pushing his voice through another sob. John was still in the process of crying, and he wanted nothing more than to put his arms around his best friend. Dave was almost panicking. He didn’t know what to do, or how to help, or anything. It was torture watching him sit there, like that.

“No, you don’t. Why would you say that?” The voice came out surprised, and laced with concern. John’s head bent down.

“I lied to him.” John whispered. “I could be helping them, but I’m not.” John looked up, his voice breaking. “People are getting hurt!” He cried, and Dave was silent. He wished he could take him away from all of this. The pain on his face was too much to bear.

“It’s not your fault.” Dave said, his eyes growing sad behind his glasses. “John, it’s not your fault!” Dave had been questioning if he was really doing the right thing for awhile now, and as he saw this, he still doubted himself. He knew what should have happened, if he did his job right- but no one told him how much it would hurt to watch John cry. He never guessed how much physical pain he’d got through when Karkat slammed the door, when John broke down, because of him. And suddenly, Dave didn’t care about not rushing things. Dave didn’t care about the progress he’d made, or what he was trying to do. He needed John to feel better. He needed to make up for this. This- this wasn’t okay with him.

“But I could do something. I c-could make a difference. There has to be something!” He responded. “It is my fault.” He added, quietly now. “I’m a hunter. This is what I’m supposed to do. I can’t just know about bad stuff going on, and keep letting it happen when I’m the only one who knows. I can’t j-just…” John’s words trailed off. Dave, after a few seconds of pensive silence, whispered.

“No.” He said, and the word spoke volumes. John turned towards him.

“Yes! I know you want me to feel better, but this is-”

“This is my fault.” Dave said, and John’s eyes widened. The blonde looked down. It was past time that John knew about him. He took a deep breath. “Don’t- look, just listen, okay?” Dave asked, and John wiped his eye and nodded.

“Okay.” He said. He could do that.

“I’m not from here.” Dave started, looking up towards John’s window. Movie posteres littered the walls, and he smiled. “I don’t mean this state or anything. Like, this world. I’m not from this world.” Dave said, and the expression John gave him made him wince. “Okay, scratch that. No, I’m not like an alien. I’m form Earth, okay? Just not the Earth you’re in. Not this earth. Like, an alternate universe, but the same one- fuck, this isn’t making any sense.” Dave looked at John. He wasn’t sure why he thought this would help. John, to his surprise, responded.

“Not really? But keep going.” He encouraged. Dave realized he wasn’t crying anymore. He could do this.

“I’m form a different time. Not like the nineteen fifties or anything. Like, the future. But a different future? Fuck, I really don’t know how to explain this.” To his surprise, John’s eyes brightened.

“Like, a different timeline?” He offered, and Dave’s eyes widened. He nodded- why hadn’t he thought of that terminology? And how did John know? John must have read the questions in his face, and he looked away. “Dave was talking about this crazy timeline theory once when I almost got hit by a car. Keep talking.” He said it nonchalantly, and Dave decided he could address it later.

“Okay, then yeah. That’s exactly what it is. Dave didn’t duplicate himself to make me, or anything. I am him, but from a different timeline. You know the thing, where supposedly if you went back in time you could meet your parents and undo your existence?” He asked, and John nodded. “Well, that dosen’t apply here. I’m Dave, but from a world that’s pretty much the same as yours, except for a few changes. My John and I never talked about timelines and stuff.” He said. John looked at him quizzically.

“Is that the only thing that makes your timeline different?” He asked, and Dave shrugged.

“Maybe. But I am from a few months in the future. The thing is, I didn’t just time travel- I timeline hopped.” Dave said, and John nodded.

“So, it’s like you’re actually from a future, but you just went to our universe too. Even though we’d probably have the same future?” John asked, and Dave shrugged.

“Pretty much. I’m trying to stop the future that happened on my place from happening here too though- that’s why I came here. If I wanted to, I could have gone back in time too, but on my planet, and stopped things from happening. But that meant I’d have to deal with some horrible time bullshit, and have to figure out how I could build a stable time loop without becoming a time paradox and ceasing to exist, in my timeline. In case you were wondering, that’s kind of really hard. I could probably figure it out, but it would take some-” He looked at John’s expectant face. “It would take a while.” He finished, and felt a smile on his lips when John groaned.

“Come on, that would have been perfect!” He whined, and Dave rolled his eyes.

“See- yeah. That right there, makes it fucking worth it to try, back where I’m from. But whatever. Anyway, I decided I’d try to make a difference in another timeline, so I studied yours for a while. It looked like the one that was most likely to turn out like mine.  And on that note- you’re actually the only person I can’t touch, for stupid timeline reasons I sure as hell can’t explain yet. But anyway, If I hadn’t come here, things would have turned out the same as they did in my world. I’m a hundred percent sure of that- I looked through your timeline, before I started tampering with it.” John looked at him.

“So, you’re like a timeline saving super Dave, that goes through the different timelines and makes sure bad stuff doesn’t happen?” John asked, and Dave looked away.

“Not… exactly. I know I can’t say it all yet, but after I fix this timeline, I won’t be able to fix other ones. But there are literally infinite Daves from sucky universes that are doing the same thing as me. Unfortunately, I can’t go start fixing timelines or star in what would probably be a really cool tv show- but I can make a change in one. It’s better than just going off and committing suicide, or dying quietly back in my world. I’m glad I can do something, somewhere.” His voice grew quiet, and John looked at him with worry on his face.

“What happened in your world, that made you so convinced that you should come here and try to change things?” John asked, and Dave shrugged. He looked at him apologetically.

“I can’t say most of the stuff that happened.” He started, like it was a warning.

“That’s okay.” John said, and it was. Dave sighed.

“Well- I mean, pretty much everyone I’ve ever cared about died. That’s the really long story short.” Dave said, and John looked at him in surprise.

“What? How- even me?” John asked, and Dave nodded, sadly.

“Yeah. I think that’s what really pushed me to want to make this stop. You didn’t deserve it. None of them did. But basically, the bad guys won, and kicked our asses. That was the best description I can give you, without doing too much. Some things have to stay the same here, but all of us died. On the flip side, a lot of us ended up with some really cool powers. But yeah, we all pretty much died- my timeline was a mess.” Dave said, and John looked at him curiously.

“Did you ever try to fix your world?” John asked, and Dave nodded grimly.

“Yeah. The result was pretty bad. I mean, Time could have torn me apart, the second I started trying. If I wasn’t trying it in my room, with my turntables, I may not have been able to get out of that. It was really bad.” John was confused.

“What did your turntables do?” John asked, and Dave shrugged.

“Helped me organize, mostly. Time has this tendency to ebb and flow, like music. At least, that was one of the things that helped me reach an understanding of it. So, I took my turntables, and controlled time’s flow through them. By stopping at the right moments, I was able to save myself from oblivion. After that experience, I wasn’t too keen on attempting to go back and fix my world. So, I tried to save this one, instead.”

“What happened when you tried going back?” John asked, still confused. Dave sighed.

“I don’t think I could ever accurately describe it. But it was agonizingly painful, and I felt my body mutate around me. It was bad. Like, there were fingers growing out of places where fingers don’t grow and honestly, I thought I was going to die. I know there was a lot of red, so I channeled my time travelling into my turntables right before I dies. But yeah, not pleasant.” Dave responded, and John shuddered.

“I’m sorry you went through that.” John said, and Dave smirked.

“I’m not- otherwise I wouldn’t be here with you now, right?” He asked, and John shrugged.

“I guess so. Well, let’s go back for a second-Can you tell me about the powers, at least? I can understand not talking about most of it, but can you explain this part?” John asked, and Dave thought about it for a second, then nodded.

“Sure- but I can only say the ones that definitely won’t happen in this one. Like, I’ve checked, there’s no way this could work.” Dave said, and John nodded.

“Sounds good.”

“Well, Tavros- actually, that technically could still happen. Never mind. You know Vriska? She ended up with magic powers. She had mind control over some supernaturals, and she could do this thing with dice and luck.  Her younger sister ended up with them too.”

“Wait, Aranea? She’s like, six!” John said, and Dave nodded grimly.

“Yeah, that was a huge tactical error on our part. I’m not letting that happen again in this timeline- she caused a lot of problems. Uh, Karkat had this weird thing he could do with his blood.”

“What weird thing?”

“He could like, control it, and other things. It was badass as hell. But Jade’s were the best. They were like what Kanaya has now, but a million times more deadly. I mean- she was kickass. Like, she’d have a mile long line of people signing up to get the shit beaten out of her with her awesomeness badass. Or she would if people knew  about her. But whatever. She was as cool as it fucking got. Terezi was completely blind, Sollux ended up going blind, I think, and Terezi could mindread. That was awesome. At one point, Bro had this- wait, shit, I could still make that happen! That’s going to be cool as fuck, trust me.” Dave said, and John looked at him, almost giddily.

“Woah, what thing?” Dave shrugged.

“You’ll see, right?”

“Dave!” He said, and Dave actually laughed apologetically.

“Sorry man. But there’s more. Rose had like, two different sets of powers. You know how the hulk gets all strong when he’s mad?” Dave asked, and John nodded excitedly.

“Yes! Was Rose the hulk?” He asked, and Dave shook his head.

“Nah. But when she saw Roxy and your Dad die, her eyes turned white, and her skin turned ash grey. Her hair became even lighter than mine, and she had this black aura around her. Plus, it burned like fire, but it was black. She could shoot her black fire aura out of her needles like she does now, but she got really powerful. And for the second set, she looked normal, but she had this thing where she could change objects opacity, and see fortunate outcomes, I think. So, she could pretty much see the future.” John looked at him.

“So, she just got more cryptic and was able to do that ‘I know what’s going to happen’ thing more?” John asked, and Dave laughed.

“If you want to think of it that way, yeah. She grew a thousand times more intellectual though. Honestly, her powers weren’t that great, but she was still pretty cool. But I didn’t even say the coolest one yet.” Dave said, and John looked at him.

“What is it?”

“Your mom came back as a teenager with a giant trident/fork thing and red eyes.” Dave said, and John grinned.

“No way.”

“Yeah. It was insane. Oh, Bro had this computer program too- Hal? It was different from the thing he has now- this one was pretty much sentient. In fact, he built it a body, and used Equius as the base for it- so it was Equius, with the personality of the thing my brother made.” Dave said, and John grinned.

“No way!” He said, and Dave smirked.

“I’m not even close to done yet. Roxy- she had these powers that could make stuff appear and disappear, and I’m pretty sure Betty Crocker was like, Nicki Minaj or something? I don’t know, but shit was cool as hell.” Dave said, and John grinned.

“That is so cool. I- I can’t even- mom as a teenager?” John asked, and Dave smirked.

“Yeah, she was hot.” Dave said, and his eyes widened. John gaped at him, and he put his hands over his head. “Shit.” He said, and John scooted away from him, scandalized.

“Dave, that’s my mom!” John cried, growing defensive. Dave looked down.

“Sorry, I fucking swear I didn’t mean to say that. I can’t believe it fucking happened again. I am so sorry, John.” John, however, looked at him curiously.

“Again?” He asked, and Dave’s ears burned in embarrassment.

“Nothing! Fuck, it was nothing.” Dave insisted, and John sighed.

“Sure. My best friend, hitting on my mom in another timeline.” John said, and looked at him. “I mean, dude, why? What did she even look like?” He asked, and Dave shrugged.

“Like Jade with short hair.” John gave him a look.

“You think Jade is hot?” He asked, and Dave frowned.

“You don’t?” He asked in response, and John reddened. He hadn’t meant to be insulting!

“I mean- she’s not unattractive or anything! She’s actually really pretty, I just never really thought of her as hot, because we’re so close. That’s like calling my sister hot.” John said, then had a sly smirk on his face. “Or my mom.” Dave groaned this time.

“John, quit being an ass!” He cried, and John laughed.

“Sorry. I saw a really good opportunity there. But yeah, sorry about that.” Dave nodded.

“It’s fine. But have you ever actually thought anyone was hot, on physicality alone?” John had to think about it for a little, before responding.

“Well, it’s more about who you are on the inside, for me. On body alone though I think I thought Vriska was hot. I mean, she’s really- yeah.” John said, and Dave nodded. John continued. “Then, there was always Rose. Rose is attractive, and so smart. Damara too.” John said, and Dave raised an eyebrow.

“What about me?” He asked, and John bit his cheek.

“I said you looked good in your suit.” John said, and Dave smirked.

“I remember. But have you ever thought I was hot, like Vriska?” John looked away.

“I mean- I know you are. That’s an objective fact that I’m aware of- I’m pretty sure you’re a hot guy.” John said, his cheeks darkening as he said it. Dave raised an eyebrow.

“That didn’t really answer my question, did it?” He asked, and John flushed.

“I- I mean, no, I’ve never really thought about it before, okay? I guess I don’t personally consider you hot. I’m not a homosexual!” John admitted, and Dave realized how uncomfortable he was making John.

“Sorry man, let’s get back on topic. Didn’t mean to go on that tangent there.” John sighed.

“It’s okay. It’s just a little weird.” John admitted, and Dave nodded.

“I can respect that.” They were silent, until John spoke.

“So, what should I do now about Dave and Karkat? I know they’re upset with me. They have a right to it too. But I still can’t say everything to them.” John sighed, and looked at Dave. “You probably can’t tell me, huh?” He asked, a sad little smile on his face. Dave thought about it. He really didn’t want to rush things- but what the hell, he wanted John to be happy in this timeline too.

“Sure I can. Jake gave you some good advice- take it.” John frowned.

“I have been! But I’m not learning anything new yet.” Dave smirked.

“You’ve been asking the wrong questions. I’ll give you a place to start from- ask Feferi about siren reproduction. You’ll figure it out from there. Theoreticaly, this was supposed to drag on for a few more months. But I think I can pull some strings and not let it drag on for too long, so that you and your Dave don’t have to be apart for too long. Sound good?” Dave asked, and John thought about it, then nodded.

“Okay, I will. Thanks, Dave.” John said, and Dave smirked.

“No problem. I need to start making a few changes now, and drop off an idea or two. I’ll have to leave you for tonight. Good luck with Karkat and Dave. It’ll be okay in the end. You are doing the right thing by trying to protect them, okay?” The boy said, and John offered him a weary smile.

“Yeah, okay. See you later, Dave.” John said, and Dave smirked.

“Later Egnerd.” Dave disappeared, and John dug out his phone. He apparently needed to learn a thing or two about mermaid reproduction. With a sigh, he looked to Feferi’s pesterchum, and prepared to listen to a lot of information on biology.

________________--

Two hours later, Feferi still wasn’t done talking, and John wasn’t sure what he was doing wrong. He ended up calling her instead of just texting her. He thought having a short conversation would be easy, but she tended to get really excited about biology. And everything else.

“Now, onto cross species reproduction! Trust me, this is the really good part.” John suppressed a groan. He remembered Dave’s advice- ask questions.

“Is it like the little mermaid?” John asked her, and she giggled.

“Nope! It really depends on a lot of things. Usually, sirens don’t participate in cross species reproduction. If a human were to see one, they’d usually be lured in to drown first, or hypnotized into forgetting the encounter.” Feferi said, and John tried to generate another question.

“So, they could just do whatever they want to a human, then make them forget?” John asked, and he could hear the grin in Feferi’s voice.

“Yep! That’s usually where the cross species reproduction comes in! Typically, a female siren may lure someone in once she’s been spotted, and kill them. At times though, she could use them for, let’s say, other purposes. Most sirens generally have a human form anyway, so usually, that’s not a tactic they’ll use. But if they’re out at the ocean on a full moon and a human sees them, they may be tempted to have fun with them before they hypnotize it away. There have been a few reported cases of people admitting to mermaid sex after going to a hypnotist, but they’re pretty rare.” John frowned.

“Can they have kids?” He asked, and Feferi’s volume raised a decibel. (which, by the way, is not a comfortable raise in sound.)

“Yes!! All supernaturals are just human mutations, really. Their DNA is similar enough where having children would work.” John found himself getting a little curious now.

“Really? Then would the kids be sirens?” John asked, and Feferi got quiet for a second, before responding.

“It depends on the supernatural. For a siren- yes, they typically have ablilities shared that way. As a rule of thumb though, conversion species don’t get the supernatural parent’s powers. So, if a werewolf had kids, they’d be human. For the more common non converting species, they share abilities through their bloodline. Usually, the more humans enter a siren blood line means that there are generally fewer powers. So, if a siren mother and a human father were to have a child, that child may have somesiren abilities, but not all of them. Their bone structure may be altered to make them more limber, and they may still have access to breathing under water. However, in my experience, they’d lack the more defining siren abilities, like being able to generate a tail, or hypnosis. If that child had children with a siren, the child would most likely still be human. I was like that, anyway.” Feferi added in casually, and John sputtered.

“What?!”

“Betty Crocker, my grandmother, was a siren.” John nodded, then realized she couldn’t see him.

“Well yeah, I know, but she married a human?” John asked, and Feferi sighed.

“No.” John thought about that for a second.

“So… your mom has siren powers?” Feferi affirmed his answer.

“Yeah, I saw her breathing under water once, in a bathtub. It was pretty cool.” She said, and paused. “Why?” John throught about it for a second.

“Could… Could I do that?” He asked, and Feferi’s voice turned confused.

“What? You’re not a siren, John.” She said, and John shook his head.

“No, I know. Not that. I mean, mom had sprite powers, right?” Feferi seemed to follow his train of thought.

“Oh. I.. .I have no idea!” She announced, and thought about it. “I mean, sprites are born creatures, so it’s unlikely. But, there’s so little that’s actually known about sprites. I have no idea!” She repeated, and John’s heartrate sped up.

“Could I find out?” He asked, and Feferi had to think about it.

“I wouldn’t know- but I’m sure there are identifiers. Actually… I know a guy.” Feferi said, and John gasped.

“What? How- who?” He asked quickly, his mind running through ideas. Feferi laughed before answering.

“Slow down!  His name is Ty- Typheus. But sea-riously, It’s really not likely that you have powers, or anything. At least, based on genetic trends. If you want to know though, I have an old friend that could probably tell you. He won’t do dna tests either- he can tell.” Feferi said, and John was sold.

“When can I see him?”

“That’s the thing. He lives in Chicago*. We were college friends, and he ended up moving there. I’m sure he can probably fit seeing you in his schedule, but I don’t know if I have enough time to organize a trip down there.” She said, and John frowned. That certainly was a problem. Travelling there wouldn’t be an easy thing to do at all, especially when he considered transportation and his father’s permission. John knew he needed to find out if he really was magical, or something. The abilities could have helped him take down Crockercorp. He needed another option. Something that didn’t involve talking to his father or Roxy, and that was quick as well. Just as he was about to voice that he didn’t have a solution, an idea popped up in his mind.

“What if I teleported there?” John asked, and he could feel the confusion in her tone.

“What? Can you do that?” She asked him, and John bit his cheek.

“No. But, I have a friend who can.” John said, and Feferi made a little noise.

“I’ll ask when we can see him as soon as I get off the phone.” Feferi said, and John looked relieved.

“I’ll ask my friend. Thanks, Feferi.” John said, and Feferi responded jovially.

“No problem, John! This is going to be awesome!” She hung up the phone after that, and John took a deep breath. Now, he had three options. He could ask Calliope, who he’d always assumed was nice, but never got to know well. John doubted that Dave could teleport him the way he seemed to teleport himself, since he was time travelling. The third and final option for instant transportation was Kanaya. John knew her well, but he wasn’t entirely sure that she’d do it without asking questions. Her mothering nature tended to make her insightful into what others would do, and John couldn’t risk her knowing about Crockercorp.

That brought John to Tavros. Both were options, but John knew Tavros better than he knew Calliope. He wasn’t sure how good his teleportation abilities were, but John was aware that Tavros was pretty powerful. In fact, through Nepeta’s lunch table chatter, he learned that the boy was in a magic training thing, of some sort. John thought about Tavros again. He didn’t seem like he’d ask too many questions, and he wasn’t super close to any of his non human friends. John even already had his pesterchum, so after a little deliberation, he picked up his phone again, and prepared to schedule a trip to Chicago.

JAFNF Chapter 122

(Saturday, May 15)

It was a beautiful day outside. Birds were singing, and flowers were blooming. On days like that, kids like Dave… were staying in their rooms, intent on not leaving. Karkat had called him early the previous night, and screamed about how much of an asshole John was being. Apparently, the closest thing to a redeemable reason for being awful John could offer was an excuse that showcased how selfish he was being. It hurt. Dave honestly wanted to know what was going on. He wanted nothing more than to be there for John, like he promised he would be. But John didn’t trust him. It made him angry, yeah. But so far, if Jade’s five stages of grief chart was to be trusted, he seemed to be at the depression stage.

So yeah, he had no intention to leave his room that day. Or any day, if he could help it, but he knew that wasn’t happening. Dave had music on in his room. Dave had silence in his room. Dave drew about twenty panels of sbahj, and deleted them all. Within an hour. He had already promised himself he wouldn’t cry. Karkat practically preached his condolences (and that kid still swore he was nothing like his quote unquote “pious-ass father, what the hell) the previous evening. It did absolutely nothing to help him. Still, he tended to take his emotional pain like a certain stoic guy he knew. Well, unless it dealt with Jake- then his older brother would be bawling around the house.  Rose called Dave’s method of dealing with unfortunate matters of the heart “bundling his feelings up inside”. He called it being too lazy to express himself. He was probably both.

He heard his brother leave, and didn’t surface to ask where he was going. There were no unnecessary ‘good morning’s or ‘hey, I’m leaving now’s, and Dave was grateful for it. He didn’t want to deal with anything. Was he even still friends with John? Apparently, Dave had an entirely different view of their relationship than John did. Well- okay, duh. But he at least thought John trusted him. Since when could two friends that had known each other for so long not talk to each other? What Dave was hiding from John was completely different than whatever John was hiding. He could tell that much, at least.

Of course, Dave drew a complete blank from then on. He didn’t know what John was keeping from him, but it was either too fucking important for Dave to be trusted with, or Dave meant too little to John to talk to when he had problems. He’d literally called John out for lying to him, and the only thing he got in return was an apology with no explanation. John stepped away from him when he tried to hug him- what did that even mean? He’d stressed that they were best friends, and made it clear that he would tell John anything. And in response, he got boldfaced rejection. It was like he didn’t even matter to John.

At the very least, John should have explained himself. He didn’t care what was going on, John should have at least told Dave why he couldn’t talk to him. Instead, he just left Dave to guess where he stood with John. After that vacation, Dave had honestly thought he had a chance with John. Two weeks later, he couldn’t say the same thing. It almost made him glad he waited to ask John to date him. Dave didn’t even know if he wanted to date John anymore. He definitely didn’t feel like asking any time soon.

And it wasn’t like anyone could blame him. Starting a relationship with someone who didn’t trust him and lied to him didn’t sound appealing in the slightest. Even… even if it was John. Maybe he could move on. John wasn’t a homosexual anyway, and Dave wasn’t even sure about the boy’s status as his best friend. Dave definitely didn’t feel like making a fiery declaration of love to the boy, or daydreaming about the future. Dave heard his brother come back. Apparently, he’d been laying there for longer than expected. After hearing some shuffling, the house went relatively silent again. Dave heard someone ascend the steps. If it was his brother, he was being horrendously casual. They weren’t light or fast enough to be Jade’s, but weren’t completely silent like his brother’s.

Just as Dave decided that he didn’t give a particular shit about the random pair of feet walking up the stairs, he heard a knock on his bedroom door. He didn’t want to deal with whoever was on the other side- most likely his brother. The man probably wanted something.

“What do you want, Bro?” His voice came out with practiced annoyance, but it didn’t mean he was any less upset.

“Guess again.” A female voice stated, and it wasn’t Jade’s. Dave’s eyes opened a little in surprise, but he couldn’t find it within himself to care too much.

“No idea. If you’re going to break in and kill me, hurry the fuck up.” Dave snapped, and the person on the other side took it as her cue to enter.

“Holy shit, there’s a lot of wires in here.”  The words alone made Dave look up, and the sight that befell him surprised him. Now, Dave wasn’t exactly sure what he was expecting, but it wasn’t what he got. May Santa decided to strike again, and hit him with a dose of Roxy Lalonde holding a bag of some sort. Dave dropped his head back down to his laying position. He didn’t want to deal with this.

“Hey, Roxy. Did you need something?” He asked, even though he had an idea of where their conversation was going.

“Yeah, I need to make you less depressed. Don’t protest.” She warned, and Dave sighed.

“Thanks for the effort, but I’m okay. Just tired. He tried, and it only caused her to shut the door behind her.

“Can I sit?” She asked, and Dave let out a long sigh.

“Sure.” He finally said, and Roxy launched next to him on his bed. That at least made Dave look up. He wasn’t expecting her to fall right next to him.

“Thanks, Dave. Want to talk about it?” She asked, and Dave guessed that she had a pretty good idea of whatever ‘it’ was.

“What did he tell you?” Roxy sighed.

“Not much, actually. I asked him how you were doing. He said you were in your room.” She said, and Dave raised an eyebrow at that.

“And you came here based on that?” He asked, and Roxy shrugged.

“It didn’t take a genius to realize how distracted John was during training. It was pretty bad.” Dave’s eyes narrowed, disbelieving.

“So, you’re saying that John was distracted, and Dirk told you that I was in my room on a Saturday morning, and that’s the only thing that prompted you to come over here.” Dave clarified, and Roxy shrugged.

“Call it ESP- oh, want some chocolate?” She offered, holding up a bar of the substance. Dave sighed.

“No thanks- Dirk says comfort food is for the weak.” Dave responded, a hint of a smirk on his face.

“Aha- he admits that he’s sad. Finally. You ready to talk about it now?” She asked, and Dave shook his head.

“Roxy, there’s nothing to talk about.” He said, and it was kind of true. Roxy smirked.

“Good thing I’m a girl then- we have this crazy ability to talk about nothing, for hours. It’s awesome.” Dave rolled his eyes at that.

“That’s sexist.” Dave said, and she shrugged.

“Could be. So, you ready to stop stalling and talk? You can put your head in my lap.” Roxy offered, and Dave gave her look.

“What makes you think that your lap sweetens the deal?” He asked, and Roxy gave him a sympathetic smile.

“Give it a try- you’ll see.” She said, and after some self deliberation, Dave did it. He didn’t feel some overwhelming urge to talk about his feelings. Roxy’s hand moved to the bag, and she offered him a piece of chocolate again. “Come on, try it. This is one with a lot of antioxidants- it’s good for you!” She insisted, and Dave eventually decided to take it.

“Fine, okay. Thanks, Roxy.” Roxy winked at him.

“No problem, Dave. Now, what’s going on?” She asked, and Dave finally decided to answer her.

“It’s John.”

“No kidding?” Dave scoffed.

“Okay, whatever. But yeah, it’s John. You and Jane were…. Best friends, right?” he asked, and Roxy nodded.

“The closest.”  He avoided her eyes.

“How close?” He added, and Roxy gave him a knowing smile.

“Close enough on my end to know at least part of what you’re going through, Dave. We have stuff in common, despite what you may think.” She said, “So tell me what’s wrong?” The words made Dave think.  He didn’t want to just restate his problem. Dave actually wanted to figure out how to solve what was going on with John. He was upset about a lot at this point, so he decided to start from where it started- when John lied to him.

“Did… Jane ever lie to you? About, like, a lot of things. Or often.” Dave added, and Roxy had to pause, but she responded. Her hands moved down to his hair, and she ran her fingers through it absentmindedly.

“Yeah, I think she did.” Roxy said, and looked to the side. Dave was confused.

“So, you knew that, and you were still best friends?” He asked, and Roxy nodded.

“I could still come to her with anything. And I did- with everything.” Dave thought about that.

“But the same couldn’t be said for her, right?” Roxy paused for a little after that. She had to think about how dhe’d respond before she said what she wanted. “I mean, you would have wanted to be there for her. But she didn’t trust you with stuff. Didn’t that feel… bad?” He questioned, and Roxy sighed.

“For a while, yeah. It didn’t feel great at all. In fact- I remember being in a similar position when I first figured out that she wasn’t telling me about some things. It was rough.” Roxy admitted, and Dave looked up at her.

“Then what did you do?”

“Deal with it, for a while. I was pretty sad, and I felt like I was a bad friend because I couldn’t figure out how to be there for her when she needed it.” Roxy said, and looked up. “Then, I guess I kind of realized something one day. I wasn’t a bad friend for not being there when she needed it- so long as I was there to help when she wanted it. Friendship is about more than just depending on each other. Sometimes, I had to back off when she didn’t want me there, and I loved her enough to let her handle some things on her own.” Roxy admitted, and Dave looked at her, startled.

“You loved her?” Dave asked, and Roxy winked.

“I told you we had some stuff in common- what did you think I meant?” Dave’s ears burned.

“I don’t know! Not that, I guess.  Wait- how did you even know about me?” Dave asked, and Roxy offered him a pleased smile.

“Well first- best friends generally aren’t that close without at least a few feelings coming in, no matter what anyone tells you. Also… you look at him a lot. I don’t even have to see your eyes to know- there’s just this kind of fondness that you can tell is there. Maybe it’s just because I know the feeling, but yeah.”

“Wow. So you felt like that about John’s mom?” He said, and Roxy nodded.

“Yep, I fell pretty hard for old Janey. I’m pretty sure I was in love with almost everything about her.” Roxy admitted, and Dave looked up at her.

“How did it start?” He asked, and Roxy shrugged.

“I saw a cute girl being bullied. Not that I registered her as cute back then. But after we met each other, we were pretty much inseparable. We got really close- she helped me deal with a lot of problems. I finally got close enough to show her my eyes, and I guess it just took off from there.” Roxy explained, and Dave was confused.

“Show her your eyes?”

“I wear colored contacts. They’re naturally neon pink.” She said. “I have no idea why, I just turned out that way. I didn’t really like people seeing- they’d ask me what color my parents eyes were. I didn’t know. So, I got contacts, and kept wearing them.” Roxy explained. “It doesn’t bother me as much now. But before? I got really nervous about it.” Roxy said, and Dave gaped at her.

“My eyes are red.” Dave whispered, and Roxy was surprised.

“Really?”

“Yeah. Like bright, bloody, demon spawn red.” Dave said, and Roxy laughed.

“Seriously?”

“According to a lady at a grocery store when I was two, yeah.” Dave said, and Roxy smiled down at him.

“So that’s why you wear those every day.” Roxy said, and Dave sighed.

“Yeah. Also because- I really appreciated the gift, you know?” He asked, and Roxy rolled her eyes.

“Oh believe me, I know. John’s a cutie. So was Jane- but I can see why you like him.” Dave sighed.

“Yeah, about that. I.. I don’t know if we’re still friends. He said he couldn’t trust me.” Dave said, and Roxy frowned.

“That doesn’t sound like the John I know.”

“Neither does lying, or hiding things, or acting weird and sad at random points, then upbeat at different ones.” Roxy nodded.

“Yeah, I know. It hurts, huh? That he’s not coming to you?” She asked, and Dave nodded in her lap.

“It actually does. I’ve been trying not to think about it for the past two weeks, but…” He let his sentence trail off, and Roxy picked up his words from there.

“You can’t let yourself do that, Davey. If you’re hurting, you need to be honest with yourself about it.” She said, and this time, Dave rolled his eyes.

“You know, you sound like Rose.”

“That’s a good thing. She’s pretty smart- if a little fussy. Still, I love the hell out of her anyway. But really, Dave. You can’t just ignore how upset its making you that John’s not talking to you. If you’re upset, say that yeah, you’re upset. And try to do something about it.” Roxy said, and Dave frowned.

“But I did. I tried to get John to tell me what’s wrong.” Roxy had a patient smile on her face now.

“Oh, Dave. What’s wrong with John isn’t the same thing as what’s wrong with you. You’re upset. He’s going through something completely different. Knowing why isn’t going to erase that he lied and that you’re not happy about it.” Dave was a little confused, at this point.

“But, If I knew he had a good reason, I wouldn’t be so upset about it.” Dave said, and Roxy shook her head.

“But that can’t undo the pain you’re feeling right now. However you felt when he said he couldn’t trust you won’t just disappear in your memories when you find out why he’s doing this. Focus on you for a sec, Dave. I know it’s easy to get caught up in someone else.” She took a breath. “Now, tell me why you’re sad, without mentioning John.” Dave thought about it.

“I feel like I’m not being there for my friend-” Roxy made a buzzer noise.

“Without mentioning him. At all.” She encouraged, and Dave had to think about it.

“I… I feel like I’m being betrayed. It’s like I’m putting a lot of feelings and time into this, and all I’m getting back is- what, feeling hurt and sad? Lies? That’s not fair.” Dave said, and Roxy nodded.

“Is that how you feel?” Dave felt like that was an accurate summary.

“Yeah. I think- yeah. That’s how I feel.” Roxy handed him another piece of chocolate.

“Good. Then how do you solve it? How do you stop feeling like you’re not getting back what you’re putting in?” Roxy asked, and Dave frowned.

“Get… more?” It was a question. Roxy looked at him.

“Can you control what you get in response, from John?” Roxy asked, and Dave frowned again.

“…No.”

“Then what can you control?” Roxy asked him, and he thought about it.

“What… I put in?” Dave stopped. “Then… you’re saying I should put in less?” Dave asked, and Roxy nodded.

“You’re getting too wrapped up in John. It’s all John, it’s always John. You couldn’t even figure out why you were sad for a while, until you thought about it more. You’re making John the center of everything right now- but you shouldn’t. It’s not healthy, to be so entwined in someone else that you forget yourself.” Dave bit a square of chocolate.

“You think I should stop caring about John then?” Dave asked her, and she put her hands up.

“Woah there, Dave. You don’t need to go that far. You don’t even need to stop loving him- just don’t lose yourself in him, okay?” She asked, and Dave hesitated, then nodded.

“I think I get it.” He said, and it was true. At least, he had a different perspective now. “So what do I do?” He asked, and Roxy shrugged.

“Start by finding out where you’re investing too much of yourself in John. You can love him without drowning in him, you know? I know it’s hard to see this kind of thing- but let part of it go. There are some things you won’t share with someone else, or things that take time before you know about each other. You didn’t just take your glasses off around him the first day you met John, right?” Roxy asked, and Dave nodded.

“Yeah, that’s true. I still haven’t told him… you know.” Dave said, and Roxy grinned.

“I hope that goes well for you, kid. I know John’s not as sexually open as you and I may be- but he’s a good kid. However he takes the confession, I’m sure you’ll be okay.” Roxy said, and Dave sighed.

“I hope so. John’s cool enough to not let that ruin our friendship- even if we’re not on good terms right now. Which reminds me- how did that go for you and John’s mom?” He asked, and Roxy laughed.

“Oh, Janey was nice about it, but it was a no. I’m pretty sure she knew for a while- I kind of made it obvious. I didn’t bury myself in a hole and cry over it, and we still hung out that night. I kind of moved on, and it was a little difficult to see her with someone else. But in the end, we were still close friends, and I was happy that I could fit into her life either way.” Roxy said, and Dave looked up at her.

“Really? You didn’t, like, break down when she said no? And things weren’t awkward?” He asked, and Roxy thought about it.

“Well, after I asked, we stopped doing our lingerie pillow fights. But from there, yeah, we were fine.” Roxy admitted, and Dave flushed.

“That’s a thing girls do?”

“In the 90’s, yeah. Didn’t you and John, uh ‘wrestle’ shirtless at one point?” She asked, and Dave groaned.

“You remembered that?” Roxy shook her head.

“I couldn’t forget it if I tried. You were so embarrassed- and you passed out. But if two guys can roll around on each other half clothed, lie or not, I’m pretty sure it’s no less socially acceptable for girls to do something similar. But- I did enjoy the view. Of Janey.” Roxy said and Dave snorted.

“Seriously?” Roxy smirked.

“Yeah, she chose some really cute underwear. A few may have been gifts.” Roxy admitted, and Dave, now sitting up, shook his head in amusement.

“Wow. And she just wore it too? In front of you?” Roxy shrugged.

“Best friend benefits.” Dave sighed.

“I don’t get those benefits.” Roxy raised an eyebrow.

“Oh, really? So, you’re saying that you practically giving John your sweatshirt had zero motives behind it? I know there’s something where guys like it when you wear their clothes- well, some of them, anyway.” She added, and Dave shrugged.

“It complements him.” Dave said, and Roxy looked at Dave suspiciously.

“Not really. Johnny looks cute in anything- but red’s not really his color.” Dave looked surprised.

“Really? I think he looks great in it.”

“That’s kind of the point, right?” Roxy asked, and Dave smirked.

“Guilty as charged. Is it weird that we’re talking about this?” Dave asked, and Roxy nodded.

“A little, yeah. But you’re feeling better, right?” Roxy asked, and Dave realized it was true.

“Yeah. I mean, I’m still upset, but I get more stuff now, and I think I’ll feel normal, for real, soon.”

“Then don’t worry about it. I’m here for you, kid. If you ever need to talk about any of this stuff, with John or otherwise, you know I’m your girl, right?” She asked, and Dave smiled a little.

“Yeah. Thanks for being so cool about this, Roxy. And thanks for the chocolate too. And the lap. And just… thanks.” Dave said, and Roxy smiled.

“Hey, that’s what I’m here for- giving good advice. Or advice that’s pretty wrong and just sounds good. But hey, it helped me!” she commented, standing. Dave stood too, and Roxy started making her way towards the door. Apparently, she still had stuff to do with Dirk, but wanted to stop by and see him first. Dave appreciated it. She waltzed out of his room, and Dave closed the door. He took a look at himself, and finally decided to get ready. Concluding sentence.

_________________________________--

AN: It’s relationship advice from Roxy. So cool. I guess the point of her character was to kind of serve as, like, an older Dave I guess? One that knew what he was going through. The same could be said with John, and how he’s kind of mirroring her actions/continuing her legacy. I knew I just laundry listed similarities here, (bad writing 101- right there. What the hECK) but I wanted her to be more than just some lost lady that was also a badass and getting revenge for her best friend/unrequited love. Also, yeah, Karkat tried to help Dave. And it didn’t work. Karkat’s good for advice, definitely, but I try not to make it where he’s the alpha and omega of relationships and after a single conversation with him all your problems can be solved. Because- you know, he’s not. He cares enough about his friends to try every time, but sometimes cheesy advice isn’t always good, and Karkat is still a flipping teenager. I’m a teenager. I could watch a million romcoms and still give some wrong advice sometimes- because not all advice is good, even if it is well intentioned. Like future Dave, whose solution was to ignore what he thought he couldn’t change, versus Jake’s almost romantic view of hope. I hope I’m helping the characters grow as the story progresses, and I cannot wait for everyone else to grow too.

Oh, and teenagers coming to adults for advice. Or adults coming to teenagers. I enjoy this- yes. Because friends don’t have all the answers and are just as immature as the kid themselves sometimes. Even Karkat, who tends to be more mature than most when it comes to emotional issues, isn’t like, perfect. Gasp. And what is this, a long lost version of Bro that will talk about his feelings sometimes oh my goodness.

I would focus on the side characters a little more (because it would have been fun to build up like, a rivalry with Equius and Sollux, especially after they joined with Dirk and Roxy respectively) and look a little deeper into certain back stories, (Callie, AND what even is Gamzee,) or even give certain characters hero arcs (Tavros, sweet baby tavros) but I’m afraid I don’t have time. I built a world up here, unintentionally, and I can’t get into everyone’s lives like I want to without completely diverting from the plot. So, as a rule of thumb, I plan to focus solely on John and Dave from here on out, and mention little tidbits of other characters later. Maybe in the future, I can write that rivalry, or let Tavros become the hero of his own story, or just have fillers of Davepeta running around on Jade’s island. But for now? I’ll focus on Johndave.

And on that note- if anyone here has seen Steven Universe, I know I based a lot of the scenes on that. It served as a major inspiration, and from some of the advice characters give to complete scenes, I know I’ve used a lot of that show as a major part of this. The reason why was probably because of the characterization. Everyone in Steven’s universe has a personality, and a story. From the girl (Jane) that gave steven and connie a movie ticket that one time to the space rubies and what meeting jasper meant to them, every person that passes by steven has a life and a story, that could easily be described in enough detail to generate their own worlds as well. So, knowing that, I find it amazing that the creators managed to streamline the show into what we came here for- Steven’s adventure with the crystal gems. When background characters are shown, they never subtract from the plot- even in what would be, with all things considered, a filler episode. I personally struggle with doing that, so bear with me there.

ANYWAY AFTER ALL THAT AND A BAG OF CHIPS

Thanks for reading. Really and truly, thank you.

Okay, who’s  your favorite character in this AU/ Story that’s not John or Dave? Any particular reason? Let me know!

JAFNF Chapter 123

AN: It’s 123. Guys. Guysssss.

(Sunday, May 17)

John yawned as he got up early that morning. He knew he had places to be, and people to see. Davepeta sat in the corner of his room, powered off. John felt a little bad as he noticed them. He knew he hadn’t been giving his all in training- he was so distracted! Hopefully, he could make it up to them later, with a better training session.  But for now, he had bigger fish to fry- namely, trying to find out who he was. Typheus, Feferi’s friend, decided that he could see John today. He’d been warned that it could take a few hours, but John didn’t mind. He was more than ready to set out for Tavros’ house soon.

Speaking of that, John majorly owed the boy. After all, Tavros had agreed to taking John to Chicago- a fact John was eternally grateful for. Plus, he didn’t seem to need to ask too many questions. Feferi would arrive at his house soon, and from there, he planned to take her to Tavros’ home, with Calliope. The blue eyed boy rushed to get ready, and prepare himself for whatever would happen in Typheus’ identification process. After a satisfying (yet pesnisve) time in the shower, John got out and put his clothes on. He knew he couldn’t tell his friends what was going on, without telling them everything.

Hopefully though, if he had his mother’s life bringing abilities, it would tip the scale in his favor for taking down Crockercorp. Karkat’s words, though a little misguided, weren’t untrue. If he could stop these people, it was selfish to do anything other than try it. Which was why he needed to take Jake’s advice and learn as much as he could about himself now. The extra knowledge could help. Even if he didn’t have magical life powers (which he doubted, he’d never felt extra lifey), John hoped that this Typheus guy could give him a little insight, and maybe an idea or two.

After walking downstairs, John decided to find something to eat. Since his training with Roxy and Jake started a while ago, John gained a larger appetite. Since then though, he’d started to lose it. John often favored eating to thinking. Really, it was more like getting lost in his thoughts. Or drowning in them. Either way, it took up a lot of his time. Still, if he was going into another state to do whatever Typheus was going to do with him, John needed to be ready. He grabbed some food, and poured himself some of Dave’s- or rather, his applejuice. It was stange, how out of place he felt without Dave being there. Just a while ago, he’d been teasing John in his room at that time- and now they were like this. It scarred him, what two weeks could do to their friendship of six years. John wanted to call him now, and talk to him- but he couldn’t.

The idea that he’d put all this worry on his best friend’s shoulders or prompt the boy to an easy death was unthinkable for John. Even if… even if he missed him. Even if this hurt Dave, like John knew it would, it was worth it to not let his best friend deal with all of this. John was doing the right thing. Before he could think on it further, his doorbell rang, and it prompted John to stand and Welcome Feferi inside. The last time he’d seen the woman, she wore her usual work attire, so seing her dressed down was a little different for him. It didn’t matter though- this wasn’t about clothing.

“Morning, John!” She greeted brightly, and John gave her one of his more usual smiles of late. It was a sad smile, but it hid a layer of determination behind it. John didn’t plan to rest until  this whole Crockercorp ordeal was over with, and he could finally explain things to Dave, and Karkat. And Roxy. But he couldn’t do it until all of this was over, so until then, he wanted to work towards learning everything he could.

“Good morning, Feferi. We can go to Tavros’ house whenever you’re ready.” He’d already explained what he needed to happen to her, and after texting Tavros the previous evening, he knew what was going to happen. They decided to use Feferi’s vehicle to get where they needed to go, and after Tavros had given him his address, John put it in Google Maps and they went off to their destination.

“John. What are you going to do once you find out if you had her powers or not?” Feferi asked, and John knew her opinions on trying to take down Crockercorp, but he was honest anyway.

“Make a plan. Try to help people, like hunters should.” John responded, and Feferi gave him a sideways glance.

“What do you mean?” She asked, and John shrugged.

“I don’t know. I was hoping- well, if I have these powers, I was hoping I could try to pick up where mom left off.” Feferi whipped her head towards him quickly after he said that, and it made her mermaid hair fly out beside her.

“What?” She asked, in disbelief. John sighed.

“You heard me.” Feferi sputtered.

“Apparently, you didn’t hear me! You can’t take down Crockercorp, its not even just run by one person anymore. There’s different people that do it now, and they’re all involved in the worldwide underground stuff. You can’t just shut that down, there’s hundreds of labs, and experiments!” Feferi insisted, and John sighed.

“I know. I’m not sure how I’ll do it yet- but I can’t just sit there and watch this happen!” John announced, and Feferi seemed upset.

“John, you promised you wouldn’t do anything.” She said, and John nodded.

“I know. It’s not like I have a plan yet, or anything. But its torture just sitting here, waiting for things to happen. I can’t live like that. I know I can’t tell my friends, but I know someone who was affected by this. I don’t know exactly how I’m going to do it yet, but I have to take this down. I mean, I have help I can depend on. But I can’t just… not… do anything.” John’s sentence trailed off. “At the very least, I have to make an effort to try, Feferi. You said you thought mom could do it, and if it weren’t for that one thing, she probably could have.” John said, and Feferi shook her head.

“You’ll die.” She said, and John bit his lip.

“Maybe. Maybe not.”

“Why would you take that chance? That doesn’t make any sense.” Feferi stated, and John leaned his head back.

“How could I not? If there’s a chance that this could be over- that what mom died for could have meant something, I have to take it.” John said, and looked at her. “I don’t understand how you couldn’t.” Feferi looked at him again.

“I don’t understand how you cod.” She responded, and John looked out of hhis window.

“Then I guess we have to agree to disagree. It’s not like I’ll just be running in there. I’ll figure something out. I don’t actually want to die, Feferi- I just don’t want to live knowing that I could stop what’s going on.” John said, and Feferi shook her head.

“But you can’t change what’s going on. I doubt that you could take on this whole thing without a huge number of people involved, John.” Feferi said, and John sighed.

“I know. But if I can, then I have to try. Even if I just make a small difference, or something, I have to do this. My friend made me realize I was being selfish- and I don’t want to be.”

“It’s not selfish if it’s preserving your life.” John gave her a look.

“It is shellfish if I don’t even try.” He said, adding in a pun. Feferi smiled at him.

“Good one! But I don’t want you to do it, John. Jane already died. You don’t deserve to die too.” She said, and John shrugged.

“Debatable. But I think dying would be worth it, if it meant I could help all these other people. I don’t even know why they’re doing this- that is, making supernaturals, but it can’t be good. What if they tried to take over Earth, or something? Then everyone could die. I think if I could be part of stopping it, I should.” John frowned. “I’ve already made up my mind. Once I figure out how I’m going to do this, I want to do this. You believed mom could do it. I think I can too.” John said, and Feferi sighed.

“That’s because she had a good, well calculated, step by step plan that she invested years into completing.” She explained. “She was more than noble. What she wanted to do made sense, and it would have worked if I hadn’t glubbed it up for her. You don’t have that.” Feferi said, and John looked at her, a little hopefully.

“So, If I did have that, would you help me?” John asked, and Feferi shrugged.

“If I honestly thought you could beat them- yeah. I would.” John nodded to himself.

“Good to know.” They arrived at Tavros’ house, and John knocked on the door. It was early Sunday morning, but they’d already agreed to meet at this time. So, when a gigantic, seven foot tall man with horns answered the door, John and Feferi were understandably surprised. He offered them a serene smile.

“You here to see Tav-bro?” He asked, and John nodded. The man gave them that high simile again. “Miraculous, Motherfucker. What’s your name?” He asked Feferi, who responded. She gave the man an odd look. He seemed familiar.

“I’m Feferi Piexes, this is John.” She introduced them, and the man smiled.

“Name’s Gamzee. Tavbro, you got your motherfucking blessing on with these guests!” He called in the house behind him, and Feferi and John exchanged wary glances. They heard a sound and some rustling, and Tavros stood in front of them seconds later, not without a flash of bronze.

“Thanls for getting the door, Gamzee.” Tavros said, and the man nodded.

“No prob, bro. Have some motherfucking fun, Kay?” He asked, and Tavros beamed.

“I will! If Callie wants me-”

“I’ll tell her you’re getting your chill on, no worries.” Gamzee responded. Tavros nodded.

“Cool. Uh, hey John. And you’re uh- Ms. Feferi?” Tavros asked, looking to her for confirmation. The woman smiled.

“Feferi is fin. Nice to meet you, Tavros!” She said, and put out her hand. After they finished greeting eachother, they finally decided to go and meet this Typheus. After an extremely short trip, they found themselves in front of a house on the shore of Lake Michigan. It was about two hours later here than it was back home in Washington. John thanked Tavros for his help, and the fairy promised to pick them up later, then disappeared. The area around his home was rocky, and he seemed to live a little separated from everyone else in the city.

Feferi knocked on his door, and John finally got a look at Typheus. He was broad shouldered, and wore a green and white pullover. He had a wheathered look to his face, like he’d been out sailing, and his rugged half stubble seemed to prove it. He gave them an acceptable greeting smile.

“Feferi, I’m glad you could make it. And you.” He said, fixing his eyes on John, who swallowed self consciously.

“Hi. I’m John Egbert.” Feferi grinned.

“He’s the one that wants to know about powers!” Feferi clarified, excitement entering her tone. John put out a hand, and the man shook it. He had a spark in his eyes when he looked at John.

“Interesting. Well then, come in.” He offered, and the two followed him inside his house. The area looked sturdy, and while he had books and papers everywhere, he still maintained a foreboding sense of awareness that commanded respect. A music box played softly in the background, and it seemed to be on constant repeat. It set some nice, atmospheric music, and it faded into the background of John’s head. He took them to a sitting area of some sort, and it was decorated in blue. He offered John a coy smile. Feferi looked around the house like it was a second home.

“Hey, when did you get those curtains? And-” she gasped. “Is that a new fish tank? That’s so cool!! What are you putting inside?” She asked eagerly, and the words brought a chuckle out of Typheus.

“I think you mean who. They tend to stay invisible during the day.” He commented, and Feferi grinned.

“No way! What about ultraviolet, or white light? Would that make these little water beauties visible?” She asked, and the question made Typheus shake his head.

“No, it wouldn’t. They bend the opacity of the substances around them- but, excuse me, we can talk about it later. I’m here to speak with John, correct?” He asked, and Feferi nudged John. John nodded.

“Um, yes.” John said, and Typheus put a hand on his chin.

“Do you have any reason to believe that you’re not a human? Received any suspicious bites on the arm, or found wings growing out of your back?” He asked, and John shook his head.

“Uh, no. I was wondering because of my mom- she was a-”

“Wait, don’t tell me! I like to see if I can identify without it, after learning if you’re born or created. Come along then, John. We’ll see if you’re human.” He offered, and stood. He motioned for John to follow him. Feferi stood too, but she looked towards the door.

“Ty, I’m going to go for a while, and catch up with the city, if you don’t mind.” She said, and John looked alarmed for a second, because he did in fact mind that his one responsible adult seemed to be leaving, but Feferi smiled at him.

“Of course, have a nice time. We’ll call you when we’re done.” Typheus said, and John looked up at the man beside him nervously. He wasn’t exponentially more comfortable with Feferi than he was with Typheus, but at least John knew Feferi. In truth, John was worried about staying in a stranger’s home.

“Don’t worry John, however this turns out, you’re going to be fine. Have fun, okay?” Feferi said, offering him one of her less unsettling smiles. John sighed, then bobbed his head in understanding. She left, and Typheus led him to a stack of books. After some searching, he found one he was looking for. The man offered him it, and instructed John to open it.

“What is it?” John asked, and Typheus pointed at it.

“A basic indicator.” He handed him a piece of paper, and a pen. “Describe the pictures for me- I need to get a feel for your rarity.”He prompted, and John looked through each of the pages. He dutifully wrote out responses. The first looked like a flower, and the next appeared to be gear shaped. But, it was like a gear with a hole punched in the center, and two lines like the arrows on the clock, but not. John wrote it despite his confusion. As he flipped through them, he realized that they all appeared to be regular shapes. As he wrote on, John looked at the book nervously. He didn’t know what this would mean, or what he was doing. He just hoped that he’d gain something out of the experience. Typheus left the room, and John continued. The descriptions took about an hour. Once he finally finished, he waited for the man to return. He did, and John gave him a half smile.

“I’m done.” He said, and Typheus nodded.

“Good. Did you feel anything as you did this?” He asked, and John shook his head.

“Not really. Was-Was I supposed to?” He asked, and Typheus shook his head.

“If you didn’t feel anything, you weren’t supposed to. May I see your responses?” John handed them to him, and the man looked a little surprised, but mainly interested.

“Hm. Have you been late for things, recently?” He asked, and John shook his head.

“No?”

“Interesting. Well, I can tell you now- you’re not anything from this book. Which means- you’ll require a more personal examination.” He decided, and John didn’t know what that meant, but went with it anyway. The man asked him to stand, so he did, and John found the man stairing into his eyes. His blues met Typheus’ duller ones, and John felt the urge to hold his gaze. The man seemed to be searching for something in his eyes. After looking, he stepped back and sighed. Typheus rubbed his head, and John tried not to look anxious. “Well.” He said after some silence, and John felt inclined to listen. “You’re not human. Close enough to fool anyone with a DNA chart or that looks at blood signatures, but… no. Definitely not. This test may take a little longer than anticipated. Do you need to be anywhere today?” He asked, and John shook his head.

“Maybe home by a decent hour, but besides that, no.” John had this day cleared from the start. The mad nodded.

“Good. I’d like to do a more in-depth test with you, if you don’t mind. If I want to see what you are, I’m going to need to see you in different elements. There’s water, fire, earth, air, and void- and we have to test that at night. So, I’m going to need to take you to my elemental room, if you don’t mind.” John followed the man, and he led him to a hatch with a ladder inside. Curious, John  followed him down, wondering what would await him when he reached the bottom of said ladder.

Apparently, it was a tunnel that would greet John. The walls had a porous texture to them, as if they were made of limestone. John ran his finger on a wall, and the man gestured for him to walk along. Though he didn’t notice before, John could detect a faint woosh or breeze whenever the man walked. He followed him down the hallway, and felt like he was entering a crypt, or something out of an Indiana Jones film. Typheus put his hand up suddenly, and it made John pause.

“We’re here.” He said, and John realized that they were at the precipice of an almost blinding light at the end of the tunnel. Typheus held out his hand. “Take this- it may be difficult to see when you’re not used to it.” John grabbed his hand, and the man led him down what he could only assume was a stairway. The area was far too bright for John to tell. After he sensed that the brightness died down a bit, he opened his eyes a fraction, and they widened in awe.

The whole area had blue everything- blue soil, blue dirt, and blue rocks. There were clearly paths cut around the area, and they were lined with glowing mushrooms and trees. Blue fireflies flitted across the area, and John was amazed at the atmosphere’s strange beauty. Everything radiated blue.  The only exception to that were the rivers. John could see one, filled with clear water that reflected the colors yellow and pink from some unknown point. He saw the streams of liquid and looked at them from his raised position in awe. The low cloud cover gave the area an ominous, almost separated feel to it, but John felt his sense of adventure tingling. Just beyond that, John could barely make out a pink circle in the sky, where that amazingly clear liquid seemed to originate.  He saw what appeared to be a castle- or factory, of sorts. Unsurprisingly, it was blue as well, but seemed to be a different shade.

In the near distance, John saw little yellow creatures running around, and stared at them in surprise. The whole area made him feel like he was in a separate place from reality, and considering that he came here through a hatch and a tunnel, it probably was. A light breeze blew his hair, and he felt like he was ready to go questing for a sword, or something. The glowing trees and mushrooms made John want to see what would happen if he ate one. He stood next to Typheus, and looked at the area in awe.

“Woah.” It was more of a noise than a word, and in all honestly, that was all John could think about as he looked through the land’s expansiveness. Typheus smiled.

“Yes, it’s interesting here. Would you like to start here, or move to another?” He asked, and John gaped at him.

“There’s more?” He asked, and the man nodded.

“There are- this one is just my favorite. I take it you’d like to see the rest?” He asked, and John nodded vigorously.

“Yes!” He said, and Typheus smirked.

“Hm. Well, come along then.” In that instant, Typheus took John’s hand again, and lifted them both off the ground. John gasped, suddenly feeling lighter than ever.

“You’re- you can fly?” John asked, and the man raised an eyebrow.

“What, this? This isn’t flying- it’s gliding with style.” John looked confused for a second, before he understood the reference and gasped.

“No way, Toy Story?” He asked, and Typheus chuckled.

“I have an affinity for movies. It’s interesting to see humans go into the world of the unknown- especially their portrayl of magical areas. Anyway, we’re just flying to that water in the distance. Hold your breath.” He said, and before John could consent to anything, they shot off towards the water source from the sky. As they got closer, John saw that the liquid was coming from a circular shaped object in the sky. And they seemed to be flying up towards it. Internally, John was happy, but he realized they were getting awfully close to that. Were they going to stop? They were going to stop. They had to stop- they weren’t stopping. With wide eyes, Typheus’ flying took them directly into the cold water, and after struggling to keep his glasses on, John realized that they were going straight into the pink thing, in the sky.

He wanted to voice his protests. Of course, that was kind of hard, since they were underwater. Instead, he screamed with his mouth closed, and he felt himself get extremely wet. John squeezed his eyes shut, and he could feel himself moving quickly through water. Soon, it ended, and they broke through a surface of water. A dripping John finally felt the presence of air and gasped, taking in the much needed oxygen. He felt Typheus place him on the ground, and when a soaking wet John finally opened his eyes. What he saw blew him away almost as much as the previous area had.

He recognized sand first. It was the pure, white kind, and the grains were so small that they could have been mistaken for powder. As he looked around, John saw several yellow clouds moving across the sky, and the liquid they dropped was clear. He realized he was on an island, and the rest of the place was surrounded by water. Gigantic, pink turtle shells dropped that clear, yet colorful water from the sky, and he saw pink, turtle like creatures on the farther side of the large island. His mouth fell open in an ‘o’ shape, and he looked around the brightness of the area in awe.

“Like it?” Typheus asked him, and John nodded vigorously.

“How did we get here? It’s- this is amazing!” John cried, and Typheus nodded.

“Truly. Ready to go? There’s two more places for you to see, before you start your testing.” He said, and John nodded vigorously.

“Let’s go!” They found a red gate in the sky,  and John braced himself as he went through it. He wasn’t sure what he was expecting, but not… this. The water he felt on his skin started to evaporate, quickly. Typhus set him down in a lava filled area, with only a few metal contraptions setting his feet away from the lava below him. John felt sweat fall down his head, and looked at the area in surprise. The past two places he’d seen were natural beauties- but this felt like a forge of some sort. If this were a room in the legend of Zelda, he wouldn’t have been surprised. However, this was not a romm in the legend of Zelda, and John quickly pitied Link when he thought about the area’s heat.

“Thoughts on this one?” He asked, and John shrugged. It was desolate- save for something he saw moving in the lava. Upon closer inspection, John found that it was a small, red alligator. Or, not small- if it were standing on its back legs, it would probably go up to his knee, or thigh, but still. He found that there were quite a few. The whole area was red, and extremely hot. Dave would have liked this.

“I think my fr- uh, this reminds me of someone.” John covered, and looked out at the area. Typheus raised an eyebrow.

“This reminds you of someone? Heat and clockwork?” He asked, and John looked down. Dave.

“Yeah. It does.” They fell into silence after that. John clearly didn’t want to talk about it, and Typheus didn’t want to make him uncomfortable. John looked at the alligators around him. “There’s metalwork everywhere- how do those little alligator guys swim inside the lava?” He questioned, and Typheus looked at him, with that expression teachers usually gave him when they were talking about something they were interested, and actually invested in teaching him. It was the lift of the eyebrows, the raise of the chin.

“They’re called consorts, actually. Little magical beings that inhabit these areas. Their reptilian appearance is little more than a physical form, and as such, they can push their bodies through the lava. Every land has a species of consorts. You saw the pink turtles, yes?”

“And the yellow salamanders!” John added, and he nodded.

“Yes. Would you like to see the last training area?” He asked, and John nodded, putting a hand on his head.

“It’s hot. Let’s go.” He said, and Typheus smiled. The water had long since evaporated from John’s skin.

“Well, no need to worry about that in our next land.” He flew John through a green gate, and they went through it. By now, John was a little more used to the portal like objects in the sky, so he was more than ready to go through. As his body passed through the gate, he felt the temperature change immediately. The action was so instant that the top half of his body felt like it was freezing for a second, while the bottom felt like it was baking. As they entered the final realm, Typheus set them down in the middle of a snow covered area.

The entire place was covered in white snow, and there were trees everywhere. John couldn’t even make out the consorts. The only thing that retained any color, really, were the red flowers spread around the entire land. He saw them- little bursts of color on an otherwise white and green background. The place seemed… lonely. It felt like the type of place a person would return to after it had been abandoned for years. In truth, it almost made John feel sad. Even with its bursts of color, it made him feel like nothing could live there. If seemed abandoned, and alone. John shivered.

“What element do you think of when you see this?” Typheus asked, and John looked up. The sky seemed grey, and dismal. There was a permanent cloud cover, and it only served to make things feel more isolated. John definitely didn’t see anything water related about this place. Fire was obviously out, considering that they’d just walked through a lava world. While void felt like an option here, considering how lonely the area felt, John decided that wasn’t it. It was like something changed here- a place that used to be lively and full was now barren. Void felt like something that was never there- not a change to desertedness. The constant blow of the wind made him want to guess air, but something about that didn’t feel right. Air seemed to be heavily related to freedom, at least in John’s mind. This place seemed isolated, and lonesome. Trapped on the ground- not free in the sky. Grounded.

“Earth?” John guessed, and Typheus looked impressed.

“Not Air?” He asked, and John thought about it, but shook his head.

“No. I mean, it’s windy here, but I feel… trapped in here. Air is the open sky, and that goes everywhere. This feels isolated.” John commented, and Typheus looked surprised, then looked at him seriously.

“John, which was your favorite place that we’ve visited, out of the four?” He asked, and John had to think about it. The area with water and rain was beautiful, but John decided against it. Maybe, if he were an author, or more creative, he could draw inspiration from that place. It seemed like a nice place to talk, or paint a picture. This world felt far to isolated for his tastes. The lava land sparked a sense of adventure, but John also felt a trickle of stabbing fear. If one of those metal bars was rusty, he easily could have died in the lava.

But that first one. The blue rocks and the glowing plants gave the entire place a serene feeling to it. The paths, leading to unknown places and the happy consorts around him made John feel different from the rest of the places. It was like it drew on the snow area’s lonesomeness, but turned it into independency, with a portion of the island-like bright area’s beauty, but not too much to make him want to sit and stare at it. It even took in that lava world’s adrenaline boosting fear and transformed it to give John a sense of adventure. This was where quests happened, where boys became heros, where growth and change and challenges and friends could come along the strangely lit paths with their glowing mushrooms. The choice was clear.

“The first one.” John said, and the man looked even more surprised.

“Wind and Shade. You seemed amazed by the island- Light and Rain, I mean. And you said Heat and Clockwork reminded you of friends. But you chose wind and shade? The blue one?” He asked, and John nodded.

“Yeah, I like that one the most.” The man shook his head.

“I could have sworn… I really thought that someone would finally cure Frost and Frogs.” John looked confused.

“Cure Frost and Frogs? This- here?” He asked, and Typheus looked at him suddenly.

“John. We needn’t stay to test void. In all my years, I never believed- but no matter. I need you to return to wind and shade with me. It’s time for the real identification process to begin.”

______________________----

AN: AND CUUT! I feel weird writing the denizens since they never speak, but hopefully I did well with John’s denizen anyway! So, yes, I figured out how to include the lands (even if they’re not explained in the slightest. Whoops!)

Also, if anyone’s played undertale, I realize that a lot of things are similar to homestuck (understandably), and one of them is the waterfall. It seems to heavily coincide with LOWAS.

ALSO TODAYS EPISODE OF STEVEN UNIVERSE WAS SO FUCKING GOOD HORY SHEET WHAT THE fUCK

JAFNF Chapter 124

(Saturday, May 16)

Calliope woke up that morning drenched in sweat. She sat up quickly in her bed, and her sunken in, empty eyes ‘opened’. In reality, she just had her natural eyes functioning now, so green, googly like orbs sat in the holes in her skull. The cherub slowly unclenched her hands from her cotton candy bed sheets, and flopped back on her doughnut-esque pillow. A disturbed noise came from her mouth. Her dreams last night had been vivid, and she knew what it meant.

In actuality, she wasn’t scared. After the initial shock wore off, she wasn’t even surprised. She knew what would happen, and that it would come soon. Of course, she could never know the actual day. But she knew what was happening. The cherub stood, not even bothering to look like a troll or human, for now. She was alone here. Calliope launched herself off her bed, and looked around for her wand. When she didn’t see it on a first glance, she ignored it, and opened a drawer instead. After sticking a rainbow colored lollypop in her mouth, to calm herself down, she looked out towards her window.

The world appeared through a shimmery veil around her. Callie’s magic did a lot. She supposed that Gamzee could have gotten a job, or something of the sort, but she never really needed that from him. After learning that she could do magic, Calliope provided things for herself, and was happier that way. Still, all of that wouldn’t matter soon. After all, she’d be dead by tonight.

Now, it wasn’t as if she hadn’t been expecting it. It was the one piece of information cherubs were given their entire lives- one would live, and one would die. And she would die. She wasn’t bitter about it- it was natural. But she did worry. Over the hundreds of years that she had been alive, alongside her brother, the doomed cherub had developed a curiosity about the world. The magnificent place that surrounded her wowed her for generations, and her curiosity had taken on a different form entirely.

She supposed that, in all technicalities, it started because of her brother. She’d always wondered why he seemed so strictly aligned with evil, and she so much with good. She wondered why the odds were tipped in his favor from the beginning, designating him as the one who would kill her. She wondered about the games they played, and the people they met. She wondered about the realm of the supernatural, and the others that were somewhat, but not quite like her. She wondered about the magical lands of broken justice- little time paradoxes from civilizations passed and still yet to come.

And then, she decided to pick up a book and learn about it. Calliope was a refined girl, and once she discovered her love for learning, she’d discovered her love for books. She loved reading and writing, about any subject. About every subject. She could have gone to a human college, or spent years locked away with imps and studied them. She could have wreaked havoc on the planet she inhabited, or brought about world peace. She could have made herself the ruler of this new world, or hunted down all of the evil in this realm- starting with her brother.

But… she didn’t. It wasn’t in her nature, and it certainly wasn’t interesting. She liked- no, she loved learning, anything and everything. She adored the concept of knowledge and ancient civilizations and nymphs. And she especially liked heroes.

The fascination could have arisen when she realized that her own life story would lack such a character. She adored the idea of the brave hero or heroine rising up, besting the odds, defeating evil, and serving justice. Ironically, the idea of heroes may have been the only thing she and her brother had in common. Of course, her brother tended to admire strength, and masculitity in a character. He’d like someone who flexed and all of the enemies fell by their side, not someone who stood for what was right, and lived on for justice. But that wasn’t Calliope. As soon as they popped into existence, it seemed clear that her twin, her polar opposite, her brother- would win. He’d kill her, and rise into the powerful stage of adulthood. Perhaps, if she were stronger, she could have had a fair chance. But the odds for survival were always tipped in his favor. And after that night, she knew she had an extremely short amount of time left to, well, exist. It was sad, yes, but truer words couldn’t be spoken.

In the beginning, she’d searched for a third option. And to her surprise, she found it. All information was there, if you knew how to look, but still. She found an exception to the rule of their existence, where they could both live. They could have united as brother and sister, and become a fully functioning individual. They could have fused into one body, combined their strengths and aspirations, and their entire selves. Of course, that was only a dream. Her chaotic minded brother wanted the power that he knew he’d be granted for himself. Perhaps, if the tables were turned, and she was the one with the edge on her brother, she could have done it. They would have been stronger that way, anyway. But alas, Caliborn would never agree to share what he assumed was rightfully his- even if it was all of her.

While Calliope didn’t prefer that her homicidal, pure evil brother be the one to gain power, she knew she couldn’t stop it, and accepted it. However, she wasn’t a fan of what her death would mean- a loss of the knowledge that took centuries to acquire. Her death would mean that the wealth of knowledge she’d treasured would be gone. Tavros was another matter to consider entirely. She knew she didn’t have time to keep training him, and she hoped that he’d gain ability on his own, with time. At the very least, she knew she’d leave him happy, and fulfilled. The fairy had amazing potential, and it would have been a shame to not see him grow to his full power.

But if she died, all the knowledge she had would be gone. She paced around her candy themed room suddenly, the lollypop stick in her mouth and her wand, finally, in another hand. What she needed was a transfer. She needed to move her knowledge to someone else. Someone that would appreciate it, instead of just using it to fuel Caliborn’s deadly interests. Calliope knew he could take over the world, or the universe. But it was out of her hands. She already knew the spell for what she needed to do. The only issue now was finding the right candidate for the power.

At first, she considered Tavros. He was a faithful, kind, wonderful student, and he loved it when he learned how to do new things with his power. And yet, Calliope hesitated. While Tavros was kind and well meaning, he seemed to lack that curiosity that was essential to the valuing of her knowledge. He never questioned anything, and whether that was due to a lack of self confidence or something else, Calliope couldn’t completely tell. However, she knew that he just accepted the things that happened in this world, and Callie was looking for someone who explored them. She suddenly moved with purpose. After all, deciding on the appropriate person was far from an easy task. But she knew she had to do it, and soon.

Calliope threw open her room door, and closed it in an instant. She needed to go out. She needed to find someone trusted, and curious. Perhaps, fate would guide her in the right direction. Perhaps a friend would be in better order. She trusted Jade more than most, and as a young scientist, Calliope already knew she was interested and curious. However, bestowing this wealth of knowledge on a teenager seemed like a bad idea. She knew that with knowledge, came power. The words were even more evident in Calliope’s case. And with power, and adolescence, often came recklessness. If only the criteria was just being a good person.

Calliope needed to think about it. So, she left her room, and sought out Gamzee. After offering the man that she’d fashioned her trollsona after, and that she cared about for so long now a tight hug, she disappeared. His eyes seemed sad as she pulled away. He could see it too. Even through his drug addled state, he knew. Still, she reappeared a little away from a public library, and walked inside.

This was always her favorite place to think. When she needed quiet, or just a fun story to read, she could always come here. As she crossed her now fleshy legs (she’d put on her human persona now) and sat in a seat, looking at the library’s inhabitants. A young, bouncy girl walked in, followed by a teenager. She guessed a babysitter, until she realized that they both had the same eyes. They were siblings, then. The teenager’s arms were crossed despite the rather full bag she held, and she looked tired with the situation already.

“Aranea, make it quick. We’re here every Saturday!” She said, and the little girl waved her off. To Calliope’s surprise, she ran straight to the larger reference books, and steered clear of the children’s stories. She expected her to grab a few on one topic, for a project or something. Instead, she located books on everything. She saw a chemistry guide in one of her smaller hands, and a biography in another. The teenager walked over to a check in place to return books. “Aranea, did you seriously read four of these in a week?” She asked, and the little girl with the short hair bounced over to her.

“They’re interesting, Vriska! I bet you don’t know that the Mughal Empire-” She was cut off by a groan, and a finger over her mouth.

“Stop. Speaking. You already blabbered about what you read in the car, just pick up your stuff so we can go!” The girl nodded happily and returned to the refrence section. She looked at the child in awe.

Perhaps, she needed to give the knowledge to a child? Someone who already had a love for learning, that wouldn’t be believed if they accidentally started offering supernatural knowledge. Someone who hadn’t been corrupted by the atrocities of this world, that sat in the start of their development. Someone who was still cared for by their parents, and had their watchful eye to guide them through the stages of learning normally. Surely two hundred plus years of knowledge could fit into their developing minds as well. But then again, there were drawbacks to that too.

Calliope thought about it, and looked at the young girl in front of her. She… she could have worked. She was definitely a kindred spirit, and she had a long life ahead of her. She appeared to love knowledge, and learning. She wasn’t disagreeable in the slightest. In fact, she seemed to carry herself with an oh- so similar polite heir of existence, even as she bounced around. She responded when called to, she loved reading. This… this girl could have worked. Calliope only had until tonight to choose, anyway.

“Aranea, did you choose yet?”

“Sorry,Vriska! I’m coming!” Said the little girl, even at- what, she had to be six at the oldest. She was polite. Well mannered, and mature for a child her age. Maybe- this could have been the one. She was running out of time anyway. By tonight’s new moon, she’d duel her brother, and die. It was inevitable. And this girl seemed perfect right now. Calliope needed to preserve her knowledge, and with it, a fraction of her power. The world would appreciate it. Aranea- the little girl, dropped a book near her, and she picked it up. She could do it, right now. Calliope stood, and prepared to walk over to her. She was going to give her the-

“Hey, Callie!” A cheery voice called, much to the librarian’s disdain. Calliope looked in the sound’s direction and found a Dave strider with his hands raised in a wave. “Can I talk to you for a sec?” Calliope wanted to just do the spell and get it over with, but Dave seemed to be obstructing her. Aranea was still choosing books anyway. She walked over to him quickly, and stared at Areane out of the corner of her eye.

“Oh, Dave. What a surprise!”  She offered kindly, and Dave shook his head.

“Not with me. Follow me, okay?” She didn’t have a choice, and Dave took her out of the building. Before she could ask what was going on, Dave spoke to her quickly. “Look, Calliope.” He said, his voice serious. “Don’t give Aranea your powers, okay? I’m not the Dave from this world, and I don’t want my friends to die. I’m from the future, and this really went wrong, so please don’t.”  Calliope sputtered in disbelief.

“What? Dave-”

“I’m not your Dave, I’m not from your future. If you give her these powers, things all go to shit. She turned evil pretty quickly, and killed a ton of people. Don’t’ do it. I know you’re going to fucking die tonight, and I know I can’t fix that, but I sure as hell can fix this, and I will.” He said, and Callie looked at him seriously. Clearly, he knew what he was talking about. She had questions. Lots. But there was one really important one now.

“Who would you rather have me give this so?” She asked, referencing her power. Dave shrugged nonchalantly.

“Try splitting it up between Jade and Mr. English. I heard your criteria a while back, and together, they them. One is a teacher, and the other is someone you know and trust. Give it to them, or transfer it to your ghost when you die, or something, okay?” Dave asked, and looked down at her. “And for fuck’s sake, don’t give the secrets of the fucking universe to a six year old with a book, that really would have fucked us over, like we’re Barney on set without his costume or something, and he’s just some sweaty old guy who’s- fuck, never mind. Dinosaur or not, give it to Jake and Jade- and don’t let Aranea get near it. Got it, Callie?” Dave asked, and she nodded hesitantly, then more assuredly. If he was from the future, then she didn’t want to make a mistake.

“I… see. I’ll do it, if you think that’s right.” She said, and looked back at the little girl. She felt a little silly now, as she hung off the older sibling’s arm and spoke. Maybe picking a literal child wasn’t a good idea. She could most likely trust this mysterious Dave. Hopefully. With a sigh, she turned, and decided she would seek out Jake and Jade, then see what to give both of them.

“Thanks, Callie. You just saved a shit ton of lives. And… I’m sorry, about what’s happening tonight. I tried to undo this, but I can’t. This is stuck in the timeline as hell, whether I want to change it or not. I know why too- that bastard’s time stopping me. But there’s nothing I can do, so I’m sorry.” Calliope looked up at him.

“It’s fine. I’ve been ready for it. Anyway, I wish you the best… Dave.” She said, and he nodded.

“You too. I need to find a good place to teleport back. This is too public.”  Calliope disappeared on the spot, and no one noticed her. She left to go give her power to Jake and Jade, and felt ready to face her final hours of life.

_______________-

Dave stood there in surprise, before shaking his head. Cherub magic, Damn. Vriska and her sister walked out of the building. The younger of the two was talking about something, and Vriska did well to tune her out. She noticed Dave, and smirked at him. Her arms folded, and she looked like she was ready to flip her hair, but didn’t.

“Hey, ‘Dave’. Lucky break, running into you.” She greeted him casually, but her tone, and the emphasis on his name made Dave’s blood freeze. Of course, there was no way in hell he’d show it.

“Sup, Sersket. Nice kid there.” He pointed his thumb at the girl, and couldn’t suppress the look of hatred from behind his sunglasses. She’d been personally responsible for a few deaths, after doing some serious bullshit. Vriska’s smirk stayed level on her face, and she looked down at Aranea disdainfully.

“No kidding. Aranea’s a handful. Anyway,  _ see _ you around.” She said, and Dave was ready to dismiss the encounter, until she winked at him. Now, it could have been coincidence, since Dave was almost positive that this timeline’s Vriska and this Timeline’s Dave had little to do with each other. But when she winked, she closed the eye that used to have her eightfold vision, back in Dave’s own timeline. Her smirk seemed full of knowledge, and like the Vriska he’d known, she definitely didn’t give him a once over. He phrasing… ‘see’ you later, along with her emphasis on Dave’s name made him curious, in all honesty. Where could that have come from?

Dave shouldn’t have known Vriska here. Dave- that is, future Dave, watched her walk away, and jammed his hands in his pockets. While Vriska had been a major part of the fight in his own timeline, he never thought she’d be relevant in this one. Yet, she talked to him the way they’d talk back in his timeline. He had an honestly fun fight with her back home, when they did nothing but fight over John. In rare moments, they’d talk about strategy, or other things. He was almost as bad as Terezi and John were now. It was funny how things shifted between worlds. He looked at her as she fell into her car, and frowned. If she had a fucking part in this, he sure as hell needed to know. And so, operation make critical changes became operation stakeout.

He started by looking through this timeline, specifically Vriska and Dave’s actions around each other. They hadn’t said a word, so far. Maybe he was paranoid. Maybe, he missed Vriska, just the slightest bit. It was nice seeing her alive and well again, even if she pissed him the hell off. Back home, she was similar to him. So similar, in fact, that they fought all the time. Of course, they were different in a lot of ways. Their interests didn’t overlap at all, except when it came to a certain boy. A few boys. And a girl…

Still, they were eerily similar in spirit. Both had an affinity for getting shit done. She was quite the bitch, and he operated as an asshole. Half the time, Rose was convinced that they were hate dating. Both were overly attractive. Both had serious psychological issues. Both hated the living hell out of Rose’s therapy. If there was one thing they could agree on, it was that. Dave shared her skill at strategy, but he managed to maintain an heir of not giving two shits, which let her slip into the role of a makeshift leader easily.

And yet, they had their differences. A  guy like Dave could spend hours talking about nothing before he got to any subject of importance. It could piss people off. Vriska’s impatience and tendency to get to the point could be equally as irritating. Both had their merits, but both had their weaknesses. Both felt like shit when John screamed at them to stop fighting because he was trying to study. They were similar, and different. They clearly didn’t have that in this timeline. He remembered her patented nickname- spiderbitch, and he was sunglasshole. It was a pretty hard one to miss, and probably the definer of their animosity filled relationship.

So why was she talking to him like that? The smirks, and the emphasizing of his name. The look she gave her younger sibling. Really, that part was normal- though it seemed to mask something cold, and filled with disgust. Maybe he was reading into it too much- but then again, maybe not. He happened to be pretty good with masks, considering how often Dave placed them on himself. But maybe she just acted like this normally in their timeline. After all- a lot was different here. Clearly. But her behavior was weird, even by Vriska standards.

He leaned his head against a wall. Dave sure as hell didn’t want any complications. After checking and confirming that Terezi wouldn’t play a major part in this, or remember, he’d just assumed that everyone else he left behind was left behind. She’d guided him through the little stuff that he had to change for the timeline to be agreeable, and through use of her mind powers and his time powers, they were able to butterfly effect their way into a pretty solid timeline. He knew what suggestions to make from there- the big stuff was obvious. So he checked on relationships in his spare time (ha), and after learning that this Dave and Vriska hadn’t so much as interacted, he put it off as just another one of the weird changes.

So why was this happening now? Why did Vriska look at him the way she did, or go out of her way to say hi? She even did it with Aranea, the little shit, on her arm. It didn’t add up. And things not adding up usually led to some serious consequences down the road- which meant, of course, that it was time to find out what was wrong and fix it. No future him was coming back and slapping him yet, so hopefully, he wasn’t about to make a horrible decision. After a little thinking, Dave pulled out his red marker, and decided to find a piece of paper.

One sheet of notebook paper (and a surprised, yet happy John) later, he had all his tools ready to write. He uncapped the marker, and returned to that public library. There were tables- the perfect place to write a note. He thought about his words, and put them down.

Hey. I’m taking a wide ass gamble here and guessing that you know who left this for you. If you don’t, throw it in the trash, and I sure as hell won’t bother you again. On the off chance that you do know who this is from, pick up a pen or something and write a response. Your essay prompt is:  Mind telling me what the hell is going on, and what you know?

Dave looked at it in satisfaction. He always did like passing notes. After going into a bathroom stall, he folded it, placed it in his hand, and it disappeared with a flash of red light. Hopefully, it would land in Vriska’s room. She should have been able to see what he wrote, and if she responded… well, then he’d have a lot more to think about. As it was, he hoped she was blissfully unaware of the shit surrounding her. Dave snickered. He wished he could tease Vriska about how unaware she was. That would have been hilarious.

After waiting around for a few hours, he decided he’d check on the progress of that note. He made it reappear in his hands- a handy trick he’d picked up after the world ended, and unfolded it. His blood froze when he saw the blue writing.

Took you long enough, sunglasshole. I’m not doing your dodgy time travel note passing, that takes forever. I’m not reading through your long sentences to get information, and I’m definitely not writing this out. If you need to talk, I’ll be at the park- the one with the giant pink trees John liked. Time travel back if you have to meet me, and if I wait more than five minutes, I’m leaving. See you. ::::)

-Vriska.

….Oh. Well- well, that changed things. That changed things a lot. He read the words again. That definitely was from the Vriska he knew, at least. Dave crumbled the note in his hands, and smirked despite himself. She always did get to the point. Dave hid behind something that would obstruct the view of his teleportation and appeared next to Vriska. Technicaly, he was going back in time a little, just so she wouldn’t have to wait for him. He was considerate like that. He crossed his leg over his other leg, and looked at her. She didn’t seem surprised that he appeared on a bench next to her.

“Sup, Spiderbitch?” he tested the greeting. She didn’t flinch.

“What, not happy to see me, Strider? I’m pretty sure you’re the one who reached out first.” She said, and he rolled his eyes.

“I could spend hours describing why I decided to reach my golden olive branch of an arm out to your poisonous, spider ass-”

“Please don’t.” She interrupted, and Dave narrowed his eyes. He’d forgotten how infuriating she was, damn. “I know why you’re here.” She said, and Dave frowned.

“About that- mind explaining how? I know you sure as hell don’t have powers any more, and unless your dice let you roll a fucking time hopping machine after I’m pretty sure I saw you die, then I’d really like to hear the fucking story you weave as to how in hell you know what’s going on.” He said, and she leaned back, then closed her eyes.

“I should start with a fact check then, Dave. First things first. By the time you left, I wasn’t dead.” She said, and Dave frowned.

“You were stabbed through the literal back.” He said, and smirked. “Ironic, when you think about it.” He added, and she groaned.

“The irony. Gob. Can it for a second, please. I was bleeding out, not dead, like Terezi. So, after you two had your little pep talk and she was slowly bleeding to death, I came up next to her, and we finally got to talk. She told me what changes you’d make, and how I’d be idle and oblivious in the new timeline. Like, worse than Tavros.” She added, and Dave’s mouth twitched at the mention of his name.

“Did you see Tavros and that fucking army? That shit was like-” She gave him a death glare.

“Say another word and I’ll retrieve my dice from the past, then shove every one of them up your ass one by one. I can’t take your stupid ‘prose bouquets’, or whatever you and Rose called them when you’d sit around and make us cringe like Equius trying poetry again.”  Dave laughed at that. In truth, Tavros got pretty awesome, and she knew how she felt about it. Then again, Vriska was always the fucking complicated one. Well, so was he. Karkat theorized a lot about it- and of course, he hated the shit out of it.

“Sounds fun. I’m going to have to pull a fucking raincheck on that scenario though- I still have to know how the hell you know what’s going on.” She smirked, and continued.

“I thought you’d have figured it out. But whatever- it doesn’t really matter. I talked to Terezi. She said she couldn’t find any ways to let me keep my powers in the new timeline- but she knew how much I fucking hate being idle. So, she pulled some mind stuff, and transferred my memories over to this timeline. She said she didn’t want herself to remember everything that happened- and I respected that. But we died.” She said, and Dave looked impressed.

“Wow.”

“Yeah, she’s an awesome friend. Anyway, it gave me a chance to do what I wanted in this timeline. I don’t like being idle- I never have. So, I thought I’d get a head start on strategy.” She said, and smirked. “So, while you’ve been making changes, I’ve been gathering data, and learning about Crockercorp. I may not have my dice anymore, but luck’s always been on my side. I figured out a lot about how the company works. You don’t have to go into this fight blind again.” She said, and Dave was a little touched.

“So, you’re saying that you’ve been strategizing for however long now?” He asked, and she nodded.

“Pretty much. I was hoping to run into you sooner or later. It didn’t help that Dave didn’t even go to our school until this year.” She said, and Dave looked at her curiously from behind his sunglasses.

“Do you know him? This Dave?” He asked, and she shook her head.

“Nah. As soon as he showed up, I let him have John. After all, John’s just my ex in this timeline, and I really didn’t want to go back to fighting with you- er, Dave, over everything. That was unproductive.” Dave snorted.

“Unproductive? Vriska, we wasted hours going at it until John split us up.” He said honestly, and Vriska smirked.

“Bluh, Don’t remind me. He got so mad.” She commented, and Dave sighed, leaning back on the bench. They were quitet for a while, until Dave hesitantly spoke.

“Out of everyone that would have remembered, how the hell did it end up as you? What are the odds?” Dave asked, a hint of the usual rudeness in his tone. He didn’t try to hide it, and Vriska crossed her arms.

“I’m a lucky lady, Dave. I don’t know how I ended up being the one stuck waiting here with you.” The comment was snide, and agrivating. He rolled his eyes.

“More like a marginally useful bitch.”

“At least I’m not a poetic asshole.” She responded quickly.

“At least I’m not related to a murderous piece of shit. Apple doesn’t fall far from the tree you know, I remember what you almost did to Tavros.” He said, and Vriska glared. Tavros and Aranea, in one sentence? Oh, fuck no.

“At least I’m not related to an insane, aloof, puppet making excuse for a guardian. It’s no wonder you turned out like such an asshole- like father, like son.”  The words stung. Finding out that Bro was his dad, in that time at least, had been a serious problem for Dave. His expression turned angry for a second- and then they looked at each other. Vriska’s eyebrows were scrunched, and Dave’s lips were pressed in that tight line that he always had them in, when he and Vriska used to fight. They stared at each other’s faces for a solid minute, in silence. It was Dave who cracked first. He couldn’t help that his face lifted into half of a smile, and Vriska’s eyes widened for a second, before her frown grew into a smirk, and then a grin. She let out a ‘pfft’ noise, and it was over. Both burst into laughter.

“Oh man. We’re as fucking bad as John said we were, holy shit.” Dave announced between laughs, and Vriska couldn’t help but snort.

“How long did we even last?” She asked, and Dave shook his head.

“Five minutes. My gob.” He said, and Vriska put a hand to her head. She rolled her eyes.

“John was right. Oh- you know he’s like that with Terezi now?” She asked, and Dave looked at her.

“Shut up.”

“I know.” Dave’s grin split his face in half, and he put a hand to his forehead. If only John- their John- could see them now. They spent the remainder of the evening talking, and laughing. And occasionally fighting, that would only make them dissolve into more laughter. They spent time there, sitting and talking about the ‘good old days’, and it was nice. It was definitely the longest Dave had stayed awake in one place or time for a while now. It took hours, but Vriska finally returned home, with a promise to have a strategy session later. Dave watched her leave. It had been so long since he had anyone he could really talk to, that got what was going on. She entered her vehicle, and Dave stared at her without shame. Of all people- Vriska. It was Vriska. Her car pulled away, and Dave’s head turned to look at the world around him.

And for the first time in ages, without it being part of some bigger scheme or forced, or even after some joke or in response to someone else, he stared at the stray leaves that blew in the wind, and took a look at John- his John… no, their John’s favorite tree. He thought about Vriska, and how she knew about everything, and how she’d waited, and prepared, and was ready for all of these years. He thought about everything and nothing, and took one last mental picture of the world around him. And Dave smiled.

_______________--

AN: FUCKING FILLER BECAUSE I CAN’T KEEP MY PROMISES TO MYSELF GOODNESS TO THE G’LGYBOBBING GRACIOUS. But in all seriousness, sorry for the filler chapter, I just wanted a little space between John’s looming test and I wanted to make you WAIT to find out what he is, because what is life without suspense? Plus, I love the heck out of Calliope and future Dave, and I wanted to give them a little time in the spotlight.  So yeah, I’m killing Callie. It’s important, it’s been an idea since the beginning, and it’s happening. She’s dying. And I’m not even granting her a full chapter on her death. I probably won’t even write about it, TBH. At best, Caliborn’s just going to mention it when he comes back (yeah, I hope that wasn’t a surprise for anyone, or a spoiler. Heheh, whoops) All those touching parent-daughter relationship type scenes you were expecting with Gamzee? Gone. All those games that she and Caliborn could have played, or that one idea where they were going to use random lands as their battlefields? Never even happened. A peek on one of Tavros’ magic classes? Don’t be ridiculous!  Even though I totally could have fit Calliope and Caliborn’s fight in this chapter. But, you know, it was totally worth it to spend like five pages on Dave and Vriska having a conversation. Yeah. Priorities.

But there’s a reason for this- I l-o-v-e future Dave, he’s probably one of my favorite people in the whole shebang. He’s just so… cool. Also, he’s a flipping world saving super hero that makes time specifically to Ironically woo John into friendship while simultaneously destroying his friendship with his current self.. I was going to ship that but…. Nah. Also, I’m completely ignoring the idea of a school dance, even if they’re in 11 th grade and totally could go to prom- let’s face it, it’s not really any of the character’s thing. That’s a cliché I always see in JohnDave stories (not that it’s bad in the slightest, it’s nice to see our two prince charmings swirling around on a dance floor), and I’m not planning to include it. You can find a ton out there if you’re looking for that, but I don’t plan to include it.

Plus… John’s not popular, okay? A random kid literally insulted him for no reason the day Dave walked in. It has died down since Caliborn’s been gone and Karkat and Dave became his friends, but that’s not a thing that’s over with. He’s probably not going to have much fun at school dances because of it.

Anyway, see you later.

JAFNF Chapter 125

Sunday, May 17

The flight back to wind and shade was a quick one, once they went through a gate. Typheus set him down atop a blue cliff, significantly closer to the consorts. They seemed to be in a village of sorts, and they walked around on two legs. John saw the little yellow consorts, and smiled.

“Hi!” They ignored him for the most part, but John laughed with delight when one with a bucket walked near him, blew a bubble at him in greeting, and hobbled back off to whatever it was doing. Some wore cloaks, and they seemed to be bustling around a market place, or city center of sorts. In particular, a few seemed clustered around a well.

“What’s going on here?” John asked Typheus, and he gestured to him.

“They’re about to do their daily water drawing. Without the rivers from Light and Rain’s water, they’d never be able to survive.” A few of the yellow reptiles gathered around the well. John recognized the one that blew a bubble at him earlier. It seemed to be attempting to get water, but the well was too crowded. John frowned.

“Is there another water source? This one seems crowded.” John said, and Typheus nodded.

“Of course. There’s rivers and oceans all over wind and shade, John. All filled with tons of water. They just tend to go to this one because it is closer. Walking too much could hurt their reptilian feet.” He said, and John looked at him.

“I know I have a test, but can we bring them some water first? Getting this must be a huge struggle…” John said, sympathizing with the creatures. Typheus smiled, almost creepily. It was like he knew he was going to say that.

“Of course, John. I’ll take you to a gigantic supply of water, and we can figure out how to bring it to them from there.” John honestly wanted to just pick them all up and take them with him, but he knew how impractical that was. Instead, he nodded, and found the one  that blew a bubble at him earlier. After squatting to get closer to her level, John looked at the creature and smiled.

“Hey, want to come with me?” He asked it, and looked at the full well. “I’m getting water.” He wasn’t sure what she understood, but the salamander-consort put her bucket up farther on her arm. The salamander walked up to John and raised her arms like a child would. John immediately scooped her up, and grinned the entire time. He looked at Typheus, who seemed ready to take them, and they were in the air in seconds.

As they flew through the air, John hugged the consort the entire time, like it was a baby. If Typheus found the behavior strange, he didn’t comment. That said, he was actually eerily silent throughout the entire flight, but John was okay with that. It gave him time to think about what his test may be. He had an inkling that it wouldn’t be like a written test. So what would he do? Maybe it was a puzzle, or a fight? John had his expandable hammer with him, so at least he’d have some weapon if he needed to start fighting.

It could have been one of those character testing things too. If it was a test on compassion, or bravery, John thought he could probably do it. Typheus gave him no hints the entire time, and seemed eerily prepared to reach their destination. In truth, they flew over quite a few rivers, and he was wondering how long this flight would take. After all, he did have to return this cute consort. John looked at the lizard in his arms, and in a flight of random affection, decided to name it Casey. He named everything Casey- but that wasn’t the point. John hugged the child like consort, and hoped they could find water for her.

When Typheus finally put him down, they sat in the middle of an ocean. John stood on a sparse population of blue rocks, and Typheus hovered above him. He watched the boy fill Casey’s bucket with water, and John gave him a thumbs up.

“I think she got enough water! Why did we fly out here in the ocean anyway?” John asked, and Typheus regarded him in an almost cold fashion.

“You said you wanted to give this consort water, did you not?” John looked down at the little reptile, who sat peacefully on the rocks beside him.

“Yeah, Casey was getting pushed around at that well.” The consort looked up at John when he said the name Casey, and John looked down in embarrassment. “I mean- sorry. I don’t know your name.” He explained, and he wasn’t sure if the Salamander could understand him. “Can… I call you Casey?” He tried, and the consort blew a bubble at him, while her mouth turned up in a smile. John beamed. “Okay! Casey it is!” He decided, and the salamander- sorry, Casey waddled over to him, and hugged him. John’s smile could have lit up the world as he hugged back, moving his  hands around her tail. Typheus looked a little surprised at the action.

“John, would you like to return your consort friend?” He asked, and John nodded.

“Yes!” Typheus smiled at him evilly.

“Then do it yourself. Oh- and this should be a little extra incentive.” He clapped his hands, and in an instant, all the water that surrounded him turned into gunky, black oil.  He noticed an array of clouds that moved in, and they seemed to blot out the sun. John looked up at him in disbelief. What was beautiful and clear only seconds ago was now putrid, and smelly. He was horrified, and Casey even let out a little ‘eep’ of surprise.

“What? I can’t get through this oil! We-we’re in the middle of the ocean! Change it back!” He cried, and Typheus shook his head.

“No thank you. Have a good day, John. And if you need me- I’ll be in my palace. Also, there’s one more thing coming- you should see it soon. I certainly hope you know how to blow your fears away- or you’ll be consumed by them. Goodbye now.”

“Wait! Don’t-”He lifted himself into the sky and flew away, and John looked at him in horror. Had he done this to all of the water? Casey’s bucket stayed clear, but he was horrified. This guy literally just stranded him in the middle of an oily ocean, to die. And what did he mean by having one thing coming? He dug out his cell phone, with the hopes of calling Feferi to get him out of there. Of course, since they were in some fractured part of reality, she didn’t receive the message. John looked down at Casey, his only remaining companion. “Casey, what do I do?” He cried in distress.

The salamander waddled over to him, and hugged him. John sighed and held the Salamander. He couldn’t understand how this happened. John knew he couldn’t try to swim away. The only way off this small cluster of rocks would have had to be flying- and John couldn’t do that! He just didn’t understand why Typheus betrayed him, and put him in this position. Just minutes earlier, he was meeting salamanders and talking about his test. John closed his eyes. At least he had Casey there with him.

And then, the salamander broke away. John looked down at her in surprise, and wondered what was wrong. She was flicking her blue tongue out at him, and making noises of genuine distress.

“Casey? What’s wro-” and then he saw it. Green fire shot towards him, consuming the oil in seconds. His mouth fell open in a horrified ‘o’, and his grip on Casey grew tighter. Fire? Was that what Typheus meant? Did he send that for him? He guessed that the sender of the fire probably wasn’t his biggest problem right now. The rock he sat on wasn’t big enough to shield himself or Casey from the death that awaited them. John looked around for a solution. Any solution. His blue eyes darted around, but there was oil all around him.

There! He saw a larger rock, a little farther from the fire. There were even smaller rocks that stuck out of the ocean. If he hopped across, he probably could have gotten to the bigger one. It wasn’t a permanent solution- but it was something. He quickly grabbed Casey and her bucket, then carefully travelled across the blue protrusions from the oil.

One was kind of far away, so he had to jump. Eventually though, he made it to that larger rock, and stood looking at the green fire. It was getting closer. How could Typheus have done this? John looked down at the little consort beside him, and knew her death was imminent as well.

“Casey, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to get you in this mess- I… I don’t know what to do.” He admitted, shame and sadness in his tone. The flames grew closer, consuming the rocks he was just on before. Casey seemed sad, and scared. The fire didn’t seem to have a problem with that though- so it continued getting closer. As it neared their rock, John searched for a way out- anything to stop this.

Tears fell down his cheeks- he didn’t want to die. Casey saw this, and separated herself from his embrace. She tried throwing her water at the fire. This was the last water in her world, and she threw it out, in an attempt to save him. It didn’t work, of course, so she returned to John and hugged him. She must have seen how hopeless the situation was. Tears continued to stream down John’s face. He didn’t want this. It wasn’t fair. John hugged Casey closer, and she let out one final bubble. Her mouth opening turned up into a reptilian smile. John looked at it in awe- and then he clenched his fists.

The flames drew ever closer, right before it would devour them. It was already moving in on their little rock. John was going to die.

“No.” He whispered, and turned his head upwards. No. This wasn’t fair. This wasn’t how things ended for him. He wasn’t going to fail Casey- and he definitely couldn’t die before he talked to Dave. He refused. He felt the fire at his shoe, and gripped Casey tighter. He wasn’t going out yet. Not like this- and definitely not without fixing things with Dave. Dave- who had been there for him. Dave, who was his best friend. Dave, who put everything on the line for John every day, by just being there with him. John felt a tug in his stomach, and he held on to it. He refused to die like this.

He felt something like a cord, and mentally pulled on it, with all of his being.

And in an instant, the world was blotted out by breeze. There was wind in his ears, in his hair.  He felt it now- this loss of control, a surge of power, that pushed him forward into the air. His eyes were screwed shut, and he felt Casey blow out of his arms for a second before he held her again. When he realized that his feet weren’t touching the ground, he opened his eyes, and was amazed by what he saw- what he did. He was blowing around in a funnel of air, and completely destroying the fire that surrounded him. Even with the oil as fuel, after a few minutes, John realized that the green fire was gone. The second he was out of danger, the fire stopped, and John fell down to the little island where he stood before.

John looked at Casey in surprise, and she seemed just as wowed at the activity. After sitting there for a minute, asking himself what just happened, Casey blew a bubble at him, and he grinned. Actually, his face split in half as he slowly processed what had just happened. Did he- had he just done that? He looked down at Casey again, and she blew bubbles. He wanted to scream, and laugh, and jump up and down. Then… well, then he realized he had no idea how he did that. John tried to think through the process again. How had it started?

He remembered feeling hopeless- and then, that tug in his stomach. John concentrated on that. He remembered where it started, and how it spread to the edges of his awareness. The way his fingers tingled a little, and how his legs relaxed, since he didn’t need his muscles to hold him upright. That feeling was there, and however faint, John concentrated on it. It was like a string, and John tugged it lightly, in experiment.

A light breeze surrounded him, and he could feel himself on the precipice of leaving the ground. John requested that he release just a little more, and suddenly, he was flying. He hovered above his little Island, and his toothy grin came back again. He could fly! Or hover, or something. Either way, it was cool. Very cool. John put more thought into it, and raised himself higher, and lower. The breeze followed his command. He moved himself to the side, over the oil, and back over again. He tried more- diagonally, upside down, and in a circle. With confidence in his new abilities, John blew himself upwards, and sideways again. He hovered above the oil, and with a grin and racing heart, put himself in a superman position and took off.

He laughed without restraint, and soared over the oil. John attempted to go through the clouds, but they were thick, and felt like smoke. Instead of burning his lungs, John flew and moved and laughed for a few minutes. He circled around things, did loops in the sky, and hovered barely above the oil. He was ecstatic- he was flying! He, John Egbert, cold fly. It was only when he ran, hand first into a little spit bubble in the sky that he remembered Casey, and went back down to their little rock.

“Casey! I can fly!” He announced, and Casey blew bubbles at him. John realized that he’d left her alone, and put a hand on his neck in embarrassment. “Oh, Sorry Casey. I was just- you know, seeing this.” He said, and Casey nodded in what John hoped was understanding, but she gestured to her bucket. It had been cast aside, but John saw it and frowned. “Oh… yeah! That’s right- you’re still thirsty. Let’s go get you that water.” Casey held the bucket and put her arms up again, which caused John to grab her. After a little concentrating, they were off in the sky, and searching for another way of giving her the liquid she needed.

After leaving the area of the ocean (John went fast as he flew), they looked at the landscape before them. It seemed that every river ran black with oil now, instead of the clear- watered place John saw, like, an hour ago. They searched for a while, and at one point, John noticed one of the blue trees on the ground. The foilage’s glow seemed to lessen since when he’d first seen it. Yet, this one still shone as brightly as before. After stopping to inspect it, John saw glowing fruit growing on the trees. Apples. He became aware that he hadn’t eaten since that morning, and his appetite returned with a roar. John looked at the lizard he’d put down.

“What do you think, Casey? Should I try one?” He asked, and she eagerly waddled over to the tree. John had to admit- he was pretty curious. He picked one of the blue, glowing fruits, and placed it in his mouth.It tasted good. Actually- it was really good. He handed one to Casey for her to try, and she took it eagerly. However, she just placed it in her bucket for later. “Oh, good idea!” He commented, and took two more. John placed them in Casey’s bucket as well, and hefted the consort again.

After a lot of looking, John realized that Typheus messed up all of the water in the entire planet.  He grew upset at that. He didn’t know what time it was or how to get home, but he knew he needed to fix this first. He had to talk to Typheus, who said he’d be in his… castle? John looked at Casey. That could take time to find, and he needed to get her home.

“Casey?” He asked, and the consort looked at him expectantly. “I’m going to drop you off back home, then go talk to Typheus, okay? I need to fix the water.” He explained, and she seemed to pause, but accept it.

John searched for her village, and eventually found it. He placed her on the ground with her bucket, and found a bunch of Salamanders scurrying around. They seemed panicked- especially the ones around the well. John walked over to it, and realized that it lacked water too. Casey walked beside him, and he saw salamanders blowing bubbles and flickering their tongues everywhere. A few mulled around a marketplace, and there seemed to be a massive sense of panic everywhere. Consorts were being pushed, spit was everywhere, and after sharing a look with Casey, he realized this needed to stop.

“Wait! Calm down, all of you!” He said loudly, and at one point, a few turned to him. Before he knew what was going on, they crowded around him. They all flicked their tongues and bubbled at him now, clearly seeking answers. Casey stayed by his side.  The sounds were loud, and just as John decided that he had no idea what was going on, Casey’s mouth seemed to fill with air- and then she let out a gigantic bubble. It popped, and the crowd was silenced. She nudged John with her tail, and John realized that she quieted them for him. He put his hand around his neck. “Uh… hi? I guess you’re all pretty worried about this oil. Typheus- um, Typheus put this stuff everywhere, and I don’t really know why- but I’m going to talk to him about it.” John said, and they stayed silent, until one salamander flicked its tongue out at him.

Before he could figure out what was going on, they all started doing it, and moved closer to him. John tried to step back, but he was surrounded. He looked at Casey, who clung to him. She seemed scared, and that was enough for him.

“Stop!” He cried, but they continued advancing. He saw Casey again, and immediately closed his eyes. “I said, stop!” He shouted again, and pushed the crowd back with wind. They flew backwards a little, but didn’t do enough to really hurt anyone. John looked at the crowd in surprise, and before he knew what was happening, he looked down at all of them, and they blinked at him. One that was knocked over sat upright, and sent a bubble at him. It popped in front of his face, and they seemed to be peaceful, for now.

“Uh… okay. Sorry about that- everyone go back to your homes, I’ll try to sort this out.” John said, and they listened. Everyone peacefully walked back to do something else, and John looked down at Casey in surprise. “Wow. That… worked. You should go back too- you could get hurt!” John said, and Casey flicked an angry bubble at him in protest. John sighed, and bent down to one knee. “Thank you for your help- but I think I can do it now. I promise I’ll get you water however I can, okay?” He asked, and she seemed to understand. She fished around in her bucket and handed him an apple, and John took it gratefully.

“Thanks, Casey. I’ll be back soon!” He called, and put the apple in his mouth. After his words,  she looked back at him, then hobbled off. John watched her go with a small smile on his face, then looked around. Typheus’ palace- or factory, or whatever, had to be that building. John raised himself off the ground with more ease than before, made sure he had his hammer and phone in his pockets, then flew off to see Typheus.

Once he arrived at the palace door, John wasn’t sure where Typheus was. He knocked, but after receiving no response, he just opened the door and walked in. Those limestone walls form before were back, but now they were dyed a strange shade of blue. He walked through a dark hallway, and, after a little searching, found himself in the main room. It helped that there were signs too. Typheus sat there, a burning fire near him. John hesitantly knocked on the door, and Typheus gestured to him.

“Come in.” He said, and John’s eyes widened as he saw the full extent of the room. It was gigantic, and he had a treasure horde in there as well. Paintings lined the walls, and bookshelves were on a far end. He sat in front of a fireplace, with his back to John. John looked at the setup nervously, then remembered why he was there.

“Typheus?” He asked, and the man didn’t even turn around.

“Ah, John. You survived- good. I expected as much.” He said, and turned a page in a gigantic book. John looked surprised.

“You- you did? But there was fire, and oil, and- wait, oil! Why did you remove all the water?” He asked suddenly, his eyebrows falling. Typheus stood then.

“It was a part of your test. You passed that section.” He said, and John looked at him.

“Wait, really? I- oh! Cool! Then, can you get all of this oil out of here? I think the consorts really want to drink.” John said, and Typheus nodded.

“Of course- it would be a simple task. How are your powers?” He asked, and John grinned.

“Awesome! I can fly!” he said, and Typheus looked surprised, before nodding.

“I see. You haven’t discovered anything else?” He asked, and John shook his head.

“No- wait, is there more?” He asked excitedly, and Typheus frowned at the response. He seemed to make a decision.

“John. Before I clear the oil, I have two tasks for you. To make me clear the oil, you need to beat me in a fight, or duel.” Typheus said, and John’s mouth hung open. This ultra powerful guy was telling him to fight? He’d die!

“What? I don’t want to fight, I just want the consorts to be happy.” John said, and Typheus smiled.

“Good, then you’ll fight. Let’s get started.” He opened his room  door and levitated the books out of the room with a hand, and just like that, their battle stage was set. John hated this, but he pulled out his hammer. Their stage was set, and Typheus made the first move. He sent an air fist at John, which he dodged. The man held out his hand, and almost instantly, a sword made of wind condensed. Cool.

John ran towards Typheus, and extended his hammer in one motion. He had to jump off and away after though, because Typheus was sending  fists at him. John wiped his mouth- he didn’t even look like he was trying. After a few more failed attempts at hits, one of which Typheus just blew him away from, Typheus began to attack. It put John on the defensive. Luckily, he’d trained with Davepeta, so he knew a lot about how to avoid a sword in the stomach. He twisted and danced away from a few hits, and even used flying to his advantage at one point.

Aftera few minutes of dodging and sweat, Typheus seemed to get annoyed, and more Dangerous. He started using flying to his advantage as well, and John felt the man get faster. He didn’t even have time to his, with all the dodging he was doing. John Remembered Roxy’s advice- to use his surroundings. His eyes glanced around the room, and saw the treasure hoarde. He blew some of the sharply cut gems towards typheus, who batted them away with his sword. One went trough said sword as he lost concentration, and Tyheus had to remove it with the wind. Interesting.

As the fight progressed, John realized that if he could distract Typheus, he may not have had the willpower to continue his hold on his blade. John immediately went in closer, and returned to the offensive position. He left Typheus defending, and even used his hammer to avoid the wind blade. He hit Typheus in the arm, but didn’t do it hard enough to hurt him too much. However, his wind sword seemed to dissipate a little, and John hid a triumphant smile.

The fight continued, and Typheus seemed to get annoyed. He started pushing John harder. At one point, he decided that the best defense was offense- and threatened to stab him with every hit. John could no longer hurt him, and he only got more tough. At one point, he backed John against a wall, and thrusted forward. John couldn’t fly away, and all he could do was slip down until he was on the floor. Typheus immediately put a foot on his chest, and John realized he’d made an error.

He said nothing, and John made eye contact. The denzien’s eyes revealed nothing, and he prepared to thrust downwards. John realized what was happening and attempted to struggle away, but found that he could do nothing. As the sword drew closer to his chest, John took in a deep breath. Suddenly, he wasn’t there anymore. His body dispersed into air, and he reappeared behind Typheus, with his hammer poised over his head. It could hurt him instantly and Typheus knew it. The man didn’t even turn around, and he smiled as John spoke.

“Typheus. That’s enough. Restore the water.” Typheus answered immediately.

“You’ve bested me- I will.” When Typheus turned around, he expected to clap John on the back, and explain that he’d been testing him. He expected John to be distrustful, and explain how he’d shown him a new power. So when he heard John’s hammer clatter to the floor, he turned around in surprise, when he found John hugging himself, and crying. And instantly, Typheus knew he made a mistake.

John just turned into wind. He lost his physicality, his everything, and his body fell apart. His brain operated in a million different places, and he felt this horrible sense of being apart. This wasn’t freeing. This wasn’t a good power. This was terrible. His body only found itself back together after every molecule in his body had one thought- to be together. The wind wanted to carry his existence away. He fell to the ground, and sat in a ball. John literally just fell apart. Typheus’ eyes widened, and his sword dissipated in seconds.

His arms were around John now, who was shaking. John couldn’t manage to keep his body still, and his eyes were screwed shut. He didn’t even register the arms around him, because now John could feel things in his body he’d never felt before, and every atom of his being tingled. It was horrific. Typheus clearly hadn’t been expecting the reaction, and they sat there in silence for an undefinable amount of time. Typheus’ voice was calm, and quiet when it finally spoke.

“John.” He said, his voice deep, and quiet. It broke. “I’m so sorry.” He understood what happened- he made an error. He pushed John to a breaking point, where his body reacted on its own to preserve John. Typheus was a wind deity- being one with the wind was nothing for him. But John… John wasn’t him. He had a human component, and feeling that being torn apart, without any warning as to what would happen- Typheus couldn’t imagine what he just put this boy through. “I- I’m so sorry.” His words couldn’t reflect how truly sad he was, and John didn’t respond. He finally stopped shaking, but he didn’t speak for a while.

“Did you turn it back?” John asked, his voice low. Typheus hadn’t done it yet. He immediately stood, his guilt fueling his actions.

“I will, right now.” And he did it. He removed every ounce of oil from the land of wind and shade, and returned it to its various sources. It mainly went back to heat and clockwork, so gears could spin again. John stood, finally, and grabbed his hammer with shaking hands. He was together. He was okay. The mantra repeated itself in John’s head, and Typheus rushed over to him, concern on his weathered face.

“John… are you alright?” He asked, and John took in a deep breath. Was he alright? He thought of little Casey, and her bucket.

“Yes.” He decided, and Typheus relaxed a little.

“Good. I’m sorry- I wanted to teach you a new power- I never fathomed that it would affect you this way. Is there any way you can forgive me? I promise, this was all part of your examination.” He asked, and John sighed.

“Did I pass?” John asked, and Typheus nodded.

“With flying colors.” John looked at the man, and the corner of his mouth rose. That was a pun, and he knew it.

“Good one.” He said, and Typheus smiled.

“Indeed- I was trying to help. Perhaps I’ll go about showing you your abilities in a different way, John.” He looked surprised.

“There’s more?”He asked, and the man nodded.

“One last big one, really. It requires a lot of concentration- but I’ll explain instead of forcing you to get it, if you’d like.” He said, and John’s shoulders relaxed a little.

“Please.” He said, and Typheus nodded.

“Good- then come outside.” The man led him out of the palace, and John walked beside him instead of flying. When he finally looked out, he realized that all of the oil was gone- but the clear water wasn’t back! Instead, where riverbeds used to sit, now he found dry, empty things. John looked up at Typheus, a little accusingly.

“Hey- you said you’d fix it!” John said, and Typheus nodded.

“I did, but I’d like you to give it a try instead, if you can. I’ll show you how- if you’ll come with me.” Typheus flew into the air, and John followed him. They drew near the salamander village, and Typheus looked at him. “They seem rather calm.” He noted, and John shrugged.

“I talked to them.” He said, and Typheus smiled at that, but didn’t comment. They reached their destination quickly- in fact, the area they searched for sat right on the village’s outskirts, and raised enough for them to have full view of the village as they landed. They sat atop a blue slab of sorts. It was like a stage, and John found a gigantic pipe organ sitting atop it. He would have needed two more hands to play correctly, and he looked at it in surprise.

“You play piano, correct?” Typheus asked, and John nodded.

“Yeah… but never a pipe organ. Wait, how did you know?” John asked, and Typheus smiled.

“It’s traditional- and you’ll get the hang of it. I wanted to show you a new power- making things out of wind. It takes a lot of concentration, but I’m sure you can. Walk up to the piano.” He instructed, and John stood in front of it.

“Okay?”

“Now, think about what you need. Imagine the breeze coming together, and making two extra hands. Let it condense in your mind, and control the breeze so that it circles so much that it’s solid. John thought about doing it, and John concentrated. He wiggled his fingers. He needed hands. Two hands. He started by forming the right, then the left. It was hard to manage those two different breezes, but John concentrated hard, and he found that he could do it.

“I-” he faltered, as one started to dissipate. He took his control over it again. Typheus praised him.

“Good! Now, play.” John’s head turned sharply.

“Play what?” He asked, trying to concentrate. He seriously doubted he could maintain this and figure out some song on this piano- there was very little chance he could do it. Typheus smiled.

“You need to open up the gate to Light and Rain again for the water to flow. Play the song that opens the gate.” One of the hands got a little translucent, and John got ahold of it again.

“What? I don’t know that!” John cried, and Typheus instructed him.

“You do. Don’t think about it. Play.” He said, and tried again. “Try closing your eyes, if it helps. You know what songs are meant for this piano- play it.” He instructed, and, to John’s embarrassment, he noticed consorts looking at him. He was losing control of the hands, and he took in a breath. He knew this. John supposedly knew this, and he could do it. And so, he did.

He placed his hands on the piano, and his hands automatically moved to the right. He was doing this to open the gate- and suddenly, he knew what to do. John’s hands flew over the keys, and he kept his eyes shut. It was surreal, because there was still that little voice in his head that was asking him what the heck he was doing. Still, he knew this. He played, even using the other fingers like second limbs. He found it ten times easier to control the hands when he wasn’t thinking about it. John knew when the song finished, and he removed his hands from the keys. He turned around.

“Did I do it?” He asked, and Typheus smiled.

“See for yourself.” The gate to light and rain was wide open, and water quickly filled in the gaps that the oil left. John was amazed at how quickly the water spread out across the land, and he smiled earnestly.

“This is great!” John said, watching the water fall. Typheus smiled at him, clearly pleased.

“Quite. John, you’ve passed every test. I can tell what you are with certainty now.” John grinned.

“That’s great! What am I?” He asked, and Typheus looked at him, suddenly turning serious.

“Before I tell you, I have to give you the choice. Don’t worry about getting it wrong- if your morals are as aligned as they seem to be, the answer will be obvious.” He said, and John shrugged.

“Okay, lay it on me. What are my choices?” John asked, and Typheus took a breath.

“First, allow me to offer you some counsel. Danger is coming for you, John. Now that you have these powers, you have a variety of options open to you. But great power isn’t given to those without a responsibility to use it- and your time to do that will come soon. You’ll have to make decisions, and choices, that will radically affect the lives of those around you. Old problems you’ve fought off, or ignored, will return soon, and you’ll need to face them. I know you feel a heavy burden to do the right thing. Even if it puts your life in danger- but consider that you may, knowingly or not, endanger the people you care about most as well. You likely believe that you can face the things that could hurt people alone, and not involve everyone you care about. That, however normal, is not possible. Even as you try to protect them, if you make certain decisions, you will involve them, and they’ll likely get hurt. Loosing you would wound them beyond compare, and you threaten their lives in the process as well. And the losses they feel would happen directly due to your decisions. You would share some of the blame for the heartache that’s caused, and there is nothing you can do to stop that from happening.  You cannot save everyone.” Typheus took another breath, and continued.

“With that in mind- I give you your choice. You are the Heir to The Land of Wind and Shade. It could easily become your home, or you could reside in Washington and visit. I know you’ve taken a shining to consorts, but there’s more out there than you could ever imagine. Worlds, and knowledge, and power from beyond the ages could be accessible, if you wanted it.  You could serve as a ruler here, and learn the wonders of the supernatural universe. You could see things you’ve never imagined, or comprehended. You could keep your family, and friends, out of harm’s way.” John thought about it.

“What’s the downside?” John asked, and Typheus looked to the side.

“You’re the only one that knows the dangers your world faces, that can do anything at the moment. If you were to come here, effectively keeping your loved ones out of harm’s way, they could go unchecked. You wouldn’t have to remove yourself from the human world completely- but you would have to go on, without facing your world’s dangers, if you wish to keep your loved ones out of harm’s way. They’d be safe, and unaware of the dangers that torment you, and of the knowledge that haunts you. They would live normally, happily, and you could as well. In doing so, you would allow the problems you face to continue, and it’s not likely that anyone could stop them, if you don’t.” John frowned.

“So, what’s my other option?” He asked, and Typheus answered.

“Your second choice- and the final one, is to attempt to stop the dangers you know of. Keep in mind that you may not even be able to do it, even with your gigantic arsenal of powers and friends at your disposal. You would, with certainty, cause the death of one of your loved ones. People could be hurt and injured permanently, and regardless if you directly involve them or not, they will be involved. If you act against these forces in an attempt to save the millions of others that could die, you have a chance of success- but the costs may be more than you and your loved ones could bare. In either situation, someone will die, and you will have some guilt attached to your decisions. It isn’t fair.” He said, then continued. “But it is what will happen. On the positive side, if you do this, you have the chance to save a multitude of lives- but if you were to fail, your death would mean that both parties loose in the situation- the world, and the family you wish to protect. Allow me to reiterate –there are no other options.” He said, and John put his hands on his head.

“So, you’re saying if I try to stop Crockercorp, the people I care about are going to get hurt, but the world will be safe. And If I don’t try to stop Crockercorp, the people I care about won’t be safe- but the world could be?” John asked, and Typheus nodded.

“Yes, John.” He said, and John ran his hands through his hair.

“But- can’t it just be me that gets hurt?” John asked, and Typheus shook his head.

“No. These are your only two options. Any third choice you make will likely result in no one being happy. You can’t just sacrifice yourself, John. That’s not enough.” He explained softly, and John looked down. He didn’t have the right to make that kind of decision. But it was a decision he had to make, he realized, and he needed to stick with his choices. To save countless, unaware faces, or to save everyone that had ever been there for him. Karkat’s words rang through his head again.

If John was anything, he wasn’t selfish.

And when he thought about it, the choice became clear. It was right. It didn’t feel good- nothing about this could feel good. But it was right. And then John decided. He felt tears bubble in the corner of his eye, and Typheus looked at him.

“I trust you’ve made your decision?” He asked, and John nodded wordlessly. He opened his mouth to tell him, but Typheus quieted him. “No. I don’t need to know. Stick with what you choose John, and don’t let anyone’s opinions change that.” He said, and John looked down. He clapped a hand on his shoulder. “You are a sprite- at least halfway, if not more. Extremely rare- so of course it was passed through your mother’s side.” He said, and John looked at him.

“So I’m a sprite, like mom?” He asked, and Typheus nodded.

“You are. I actually knew of your mother, John. Enchinda identified her, and rightly so. She’s an associate of mine, and another denizen. I assume your mother made her choice too, when she found out what she was.” Typheus said, and John blinked.

“Wait, she didn’t just know?” He asked, and Typheus shook his head.

“No, they often don’t. Especially born ones- sometimes, you just don’t know. I’d assume that she used a power of some sort, and located an identifier. That just happened to be Enchinda. Either way, she was offered a choice too, and I’m certain she made hers.” John frowned.

“But… she tried to take on Crockercorp alone, and died. What kind of choice was that?” Typheus looked away from him.

“You know, John. She may have had the same decision as you. Be careful.” He warned, and John swallowed. That… made things more serious. Typheus smiled sympathetically at him. “Knowledge isn’t  easy to have. Knowledge guilts some into corruption. It traps some in unthinkable situations, and forces them to make choices. People try to do what’s right- but there’s always consequences. So remember, you made the best choice you could- and I know you’re doing your best. Anyway, you said you needed to be home by a certain time, and I’m sure we’ve spent a while here. Are you ready to go back?” He asked, and John was about to nod, when he looked down on the village. He smiled as he thought of Casey and her bucket. John couldn’t go back yet- he still had a promise to fulfill.

“There’s just one more thing I have to do.” He said, and Typheus looked at him curiously, but was more than okay with letting him do what he wanted. Typheus watched his heir return to the village, hold a salamander (though he suspected that it was the one he named Casey earlier), and fly out to fill her bucket with water. As he returned, John set Casey down in the village again, now with a bucket full of water. “I’ll see you around, Casey!” John said, and he started to walk away.

The lizard- sorry, salamander, dropped her bucket and waddled after him. John saw this, and turned.

“Casey, I’m going home now! I have to get back- you don’t need anything else, do you? Wait- did you spill that on purpose?” He questioned, and the lizard looked at him. She blew him a bubble, and raised her arms.  John recognized the request, but shook his head. “No, I can’t hold you right now, I have to go back.” John tried explaining. “You have to go back to your village, with your consort friends! Come on, I’ll visit sometime.” John said, and the consort blew bubbles at him. John couldn’t understand what she was trying to say, even as she flicked her gooey blue tongue at him. He really didn’t want to leave, but his problems in the real world were more evident than ever now. Typheus coughed.

“Ahem… John. I believe that Casey may want to join you.” John looked up at Typheus.

“I can see that! But I’m leaving Wind and Shade, and she lives here!” He announced, and Typheus looked down at the salamander, who left her spilled bucket of water behind her.

“John. If I may clarify. I believe that this consort’s taken a shining to you. She may want to return home, with you.” He added, and John’s eyes widened.

“Really?” He questioned the salamander, who just pushed her arms up again. That was all the convincing John needed. “Okay!” He grabbed the Salamander, and proceeded to pick up her bucket for her as well. He looked at Typheus. “I guess we’re ready to go!” John announced, and Typheus started flying. He smiled.

“Well then, follow me.” He said, and John flew after him. They returned to the place where they first entered wind and Shade, and walked along the hallway to Typheus’ home. John reclimbed the hatch that he’d been down hours ago, but it felt like he’d spent a life in the magical Wind and Shade. He found that his cellphone worked again, and just to make sure that he hadn’t been dreaming, he lifted himself into the air. The breeze followed his command, and he hugged Casey with glee. They waited for Feferi to return, and when she did, she looked at him excitedly.

“John! Did you find out?” She asked, lacing her fingers together. “I’ve been wanting to know all day!” John just grinned, and flew in front of her. He laughed, and Feferi gasped, then screamed in excitement as he lifted her into the air with his flying powers. “Oh. My. COOOOO-” her scream lasted for a while, and she grabbed for John, who laughed.

“I can fly! Look!” He announced, and Feferi giggled as she set him back down.

“No way! How did you find out? Are you a sprite too? What does this me-”

“Ahem.” Typheus’ eyes sparkled with amusement, and he put a hand on Feferi’s shoulder. “I’m certain that you have a lot of questions, but I’m equally as sure that John’s had a long day- and even if its two hours earlier on your time, it’s quite late, and I’m sure John has things to attend to. Isn’t that right?” He asked, and John nodded sheepishly.

“Oh.. yeah. I guess I’ll fill you in later, Feferi. I better get Tavros, and Casey.” He said, and Feferi pouted, but John called Tavros. As soon as Tavros said he’d be there, John called for Casey.

“Who’s Casey?” Feferi questioned, and the yellow salamander waddled over to them. John smiled.

“This is Casey, my salamander consort daughter.” She put her hands up, and John immediately picked her up. Feferi smiled.

“Oh… aww. How cute! My name is Feferi.” She said, and Casey blew a spit bubble. Feferi’s expression must have been funny, because Typheus and John both burst into laughter. Tavros appeared there, looking worried. John didn’t comment.

“Thanks Tavros- ready to go?” John asked, and Tavros seemed distracted, but nodded.

“Y-Yeah. Sure.” With one final wave at Typheus, the four disappeared into the night, and Typheus closed his front door.

________________________-

AN: BOOM BITCHES MOVE OUT THE WAY, THIS SHIT IS 14 PAGES LONG. I must hate myself, because this is going to be a horror to edit. Like, what the heck. Anyway, John finally got his powers! But there’s going to be some drama (gasp) and some really awkward avoiding Dave and Karkat. Also, Casey’s going to be a thing.

Oh, and if you were wondering about a reference song for the organ scene, Pipeorgankind from the Colours and Mayhem album would work, or an Organ version of the crying statue song from Undertale. The second song was what I originally pictured playing in the background of Typheus’ house, so eh.


	26. 126-136

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> PGS 1112-1211  
> Nearing the end, only one or two more to go!  
> Haha I love typing like there's actually someone reading this, that's hilarious.

JAFNF Chapter 126

AN: Woo, guys. That last one was long, so sorry if this seems short. That was just… fourteen pages, size 11 font. Why do I do this to myself?

\-------------_

(Saturday, May 23)

The week had been hell.  John didn’t even wait at the door any more. He knew Dave wouldn’t be there, and he couldn’t stop that.  Future Dave appeared at the door instead, and he smirked at John. John wasn’t sure how he’d managed to keep Casey a secret from Roxy, or his Dad, who was back from his long trip. Not only did he worry about that, but it was the week before finals, and John didn’t even come to the lunch table anymore. To say things were getting bad for the boy was an understatement.

John was tense. His shoulders were tight, his head was raised, and if the week’s lack of sleep (somewhat due to the warbling of a certain reptile) was anything to go by, it wouldn’t be his last one. As John neared his final days before summer, he grew more stressed than ever before. Future Dave leaned against his door frame some mornings, and held a cup of coffee for John, who held a cup of applejuice. They would exchange drinks, and John would always run a hand through his hair. He’d been talking to Dave, and learned that Vriska, for ‘future reasons’, was in on the situation too. John wasn’t even surprised. He was sure his response was something along the lines of sure, or whatever.

Lunch, his “Free period”, turned into strategy/ guilt time. Biology was horrible for John, since he sat right behind both Dave and Karkat, and none of them were on good terms. Karkat was still eternally pissed at John for not trying to reconnect with Dave, or apologize, or something. Dave was visibly still upset with him, but John knew he couldn’t change that without revealing the truth. He knew he had to move asking out Damara, for real, to a later date. Roxy seemed oddly removed from the situation, and she hadn’t asked him about what he was sure was weird behavior.

“John, you look stressed as hell.” Future Dave commented one morning, and John raised an eyebrow at the phrasing.

“What happened to the long, poetic stretches describing exactly how stressed I am? Where were those comparisons about me and swatches of bad words?” John asked, and he shrugged.

“I don’t know. I started cutting down on that a little, it gets annoying, right?” Dave asked, and John shrugged.

“I kind of like it. Why- did someone say they didn’t?” John asked, and Dave shrugged. John frowned at that. Who would- oh, of course. “Wow, I never thought you’d start listening to Vriska that much.” John inferred, and from Dave’s reaction, he was right.

“First, no one said it was her. Second- speaking of her, she found out what the batterwitch wants. She’s a cheesy ass villain. Taking over the known universe, world domination, having super naturals and humans under her control.  Cheesy, I know.” John didn’t have the energy to continue the teasing. Instead, he was just confused.

“Okay, whatever. I know I have all these powers- but I’m kind of doubting we can take down this whole thing ourselves. Do we have a plan for that?” John questioned, and Dave put his hand from side to side.

“We have basics, and we’re getting covered legally too. We’re hoping we can gain some more support in a few places. But we know the leaders of the operations, and who’s doing what. It’s a lot, but now that you have your powers, I think we’ll do better. Is turning into wind still not an option for you?” John shuddered. He never wanted to feel his body split apart again.

“No. Never.” John said, and Dave frowned.

“Okay, John. Sorry.” John sighed, and looked away. Finals were looming, Classes felt ten times harder, and whatever decision he made would lead to someone getting hurt. Adopting a child- or, Casey, he guessed, probably wasn’t the smartest option. He knew his dad would notice the extra money he started to spend, and he couldn’t just come out and say that he was buying salamander food.

“No, I’m sorry. You’re right- I’m stressed. I just wish I could end all of this, you know? Typheus said that someone would have to get hurt for anything good to happen, Dave and Karkat hate me, I have to find someone for Casey, and I have finals next week!” John announced. He sighed. “I just wish it could just be me. If I was the only one getting hurt by this, I’d do it any day. But, no matter what we do, one of my friends is going to get hurt! How do you even live with that?” John said loudly, and Dave looked at him.

“John. Look at me.” He said, and John did. “I know this sucks. I know- I know you’re getting hurt, and hurting people you never wanted to, and that you have a lot on your plate.” Dave paused, and John prompted him.

“But?” He asked, and Dave continued.

“But you always try to do the right thing, and make the right decision. You always try to be the hero. So know… just know that it’ll all be over soon enough, okay? I’m from the future. I know.” Dave asserted, and John looked down.

“You’re from a future where everyone died.” John commented. Dave rolled his eyes behind his sunglasses, but looked to the side. He found himself getting sad, before snapping out of it. John hadn’t meant to be hurtful, he was sure.

“John. You understand what I’m trying to fucking say.” He said, crossing his arms. John let out a long, drawn out sigh.

“Yeah, okay Dave. Thank you, really. But there’s just so much right now, and I can’t even tell anyone. I mean- how do I get Karkat and Dave to stop hating me? I-” he paused, and his voice broke a little. “I miss them.” John admitted quietly, and remembered how they could talk about everything, and laugh about nothing. He definitely missed his friends. He didn’t know about the status of bro Day with Dave- likely not happening, at this point. Future Dave clearly didn’t know what to say, and they walked the rest of the way to school in silence. They reached the point where he’d usually drop off John, and the offshoot timeline blonde turned to John. He knew his friend- even if it wasn’t necessarily his version of his friend, was going through a lot.

“See you soon, princess.” He said, using the familiar nickname,  and John felt a little bubble of happiness at the term. He smiled back at the time traveler, and for a moment, the situation didn’t seem quite as dim.

“See you, Prince Ali.” The action made John feel a little better, but John couldn’t shake the feeling that the weight of the world was somehow in his backpack.  The moment was short lived anyway, and only one of the thousands he’d felt over the course of a week. John often remembered his dad just standing there, watching his son. It seemed like he wanted to say something, but he never did. John got more ‘are you okay’s from strangers, and as the week progressed, it became clear that something was wrong. Dave and Karkat understandably made no effort to talk to him of that entire week, and Vriska even seemed worried in their strategy meetings.

Of course, said meetings happened during lunch in the library, and Karkat saw him talking to her one day. He gave him the most disgusted, sickened, scathing look a person could offer, and John didn’t meet his eyes. Roxy seemed to have an inkling of what was going on, because she seemed far less enthused when he walked in the room than when he was outside of it. Casey was nice to hold, but it became clear that she’d benefit from a bigger environment. Reading  the countless Christmas/Birthday present books Rose had given John over the years couldn’t be that interesting.

John found himself staring at his mother’s portrait now more than ever. When he was alone in the house he’d fly, and that was the peak of his enjoyment. While John had been doing bad for the previous two weeks, his happiness seemed to take a gigantic pitfall in the course of one week. People saw it- the kid that had been acting like his life was sunshine slipped back into that person he was before Dave, his Dave, moved in near him. Teachers asked him if he was okay. Jake seemed to realize that John really wasn’t doing alright, but John shied away from talking to him. Plans to wear pajamas to school and junior pranks faded into the background, and John felt more alone than ever.

At training, that morning, John seemed twenty times more aggressive than usual. He beat Davepeta, hard, and didn’t offer anyone a word of explanation until Davepeta asked. He mumbled some excuse about ‘making up for last week’, yet it hardly seemed believable. Roxy lacked any words of advice after his fight, and Jake tried (again) to talk to John. He had his car with him, and after making some excuse, decided to sit in the park for a while to clear his head while Jake and Roxy left.

John sat in the woods now. He was tempted to try soaring above the clouds, but the area was still far too public for John’s tastes. John closed his eyes, and rested his head. He needed to study for his finals this weekend, he knew, but he just felt so bad. Like everything was going wrong at once. John just wished he could fly away from his problems. He felt awful from the inside out, and wanted nothing more than to just melt and die. Unfortunately, that solved nothing.

“I knew you looked familiar.” A voice said, and John’s eyes flew open. A large, muscular guy walked towards him. John frowned.  He looked behind him- but no one was there.

“Me?” He questioned, because he seriously didn’t know this guy from anywhere. The man gave him a smile, but something about it seemed… cruel.

“I don’t blame you for not recognizing me, John. I’ll admit it- I look pretty different from how you remember me, I’m sure. I’m not the same cherub I was back then- before I became whole.” He said, and John’s eyes scanned the man’s body, his eyes widening in horror. Looking back on it, John probably should have left right then. He should have stood up, should have run far away, flown far away, or just gotten the hell away from this man the second he recognized him. From the questionable clothing choice to the fact that he was at least three times as big as he was before, or the simple guidance that being alone with such a stranger in the woods was never a good idea, John had a plethora of reasons to leave. Of course, he didn’t act on any of them. He was too shocked, and as the realization set in, John ignored his disbelief.

“Wait… Caliborn?” John asked, looking at him. “What happened to you? I… I thought you were doing online school?”The question died in John’s throat, and Caliborn seemed pleased. He looked like an adult now, and had a wooden leg. His jawline was more defined, and he retained puppet like red circles on his cheeks, like some strangely applied form of blush. His face almost seemed grotesque, and skeletal when he smiled down at John.

“Ah, you remember my name. I’m glad- its nice to be remembered. You’ve changed too, John. You’re looking a more athletic, and a lot more… powerful.” The man licked his lips as he said it, and it made John want to back away slowly, then run. “But it seems that you’re just as del- sad as ever. As for what happened- well, your friends did quite a number on me, John. They took off my leg, and warned me that there would be more if I messed with you again.” He said, and John’s mind raced as he stood silently, and moved farther away.  Had his friends really done that to Caliborn? John found it hard to believe. Then again- this was a massive, trench coat wearing, used- to- be- a- sixteen- year- old standing in front of him. The man, Caliborn, continued. “As for why I’m so massive now- well, I seemed to have gained a lot of power since I killed my sister. It’s been wonderful.” He said, and John looked horrified.

“You killed Calliope? What? H-How?”

“I’ll save you the bloody details, but it’s a battle that we, as cherubs, are destined to have. She would have killed me if she had the ability- but of course, Calliope never could. I wouldn’t expect you to understand, but I gained a lot from this.” He said, holding up an arm. “Time and space are within my grasp now- I’m pretty cool.” He said, and John looked down in horror. Oh man- Tavros. He hadn’t checked in on Nepeta or Jade lately either, but they couldn’t be doing well. Did they even know? And her murderer was standing here, in front of him. Suddenly, John grew ten times more scared than he was before. He had a hand on his hammer, and though it was unextended, John could change that very quickly. His disposition hardened.

“Why are you here?” John asked him, wondering if he needed to start running. He wasn’t sure if Caliborn was going to- John paused, and dread washed over his face. Was Caliborn going to kill him?

“Because, John. I missed you.” He explained, and John backed up.

“What?” He asked, trying to clarify that he’d heard correctly. Surely, his tormentor for years hadn’t really said-

“I missed you. You always were different, John. Now, I suppose I know why. You’re not exactly human.” His blue eyes widened in response to that. Even John wasn’t aware of what he was until last week! He looked awed, and confused.

“H-How did you-”

“I’d prefer to spare you the details. Just know that I know a lot about you. And, you have something that I want- your misery. I’ve grown a sort of attachment, or addiction to it, if you will. You’re quite pleasing to the senses, John.” John seriously considered flying away at that point. It didn’t matter what Caliborn now knew about him, or how much power the cherub seemed to have now. That was creepy, and John honestly just wanted to run away. Still, he stayed. Maybe if he could just make his point clear, this mutant husk of his former tormenter would go away.

“Well, I don’t want you to feed on me. Please go away.” John said firmly. Caliborn had always been a horrific constant in John’s life, but now that the cherub left, he couldn’t imagine what his life would be like with him back in it. He didn’t want to go back to what he was like, when Caliborn would say those things, and when John would do what he did to himself.

“John, I would like to help you.” John’s lips turned downwards. He knew Caliborn’s help would just be a door to a repeat of the years he spent with Caliborn tormenting him.

“I’m okay- I’m pretty sure you’re just trying to help yourself.” At that, Caliborn shook his head.

“No. Not true. I understand more about people now, John. You can’t just take what you want from them. They’d just break away, and find a method out of you using them. If you want something, you have to give them something they want. And I… I have something you definitely want, John.” John’s eyes narrowed. What could Caliborn possibly have?

“What?” He asked, and Caliborn smiled.

“I have your third choice.” John’s eyes widened. A… third choice? “And, I believe you’ll find it quite attractive. Just stay and listen to what I want, and what I can do for you.” Caliborn said, and despite his reservations, John stayed. “Good. First- I’d like to say, John. You shouldn’t believe everything your denizen tells you. Honestly, they’re quite stubborn when it comes to their choices. They act as if there’s only two things you can do, but this is a world of possibilities. You have unlimited decisions, if you just take enough time to think about them.”

“What are you saying?”

“I’m saying, John. That there’s more that you can do outside of those two little choices. In particular, there’s more that I can do. And here is my offer. I take care of Crockercorp for you. With my recent upgrades, I may be the most powerful thing in the universe. Dismantling a corporation that’s preparing to take over the world, and others, isn’t hard if you kill the right people and have enough power.  And I definitely can. I can travel the world in negative seconds, I can kill with a snap of my fingers. I can set all of those captives you’re worried about free. I can eat timelines, destroy universes- you name it, I can probably do it. You won’t even have to involve your loved ones.” Caliborn said, and John frowned.

“What’s the catch?” He asked, and Caliborn smirked.

“Like mother like son. The catch is- well, John. I don’t do these favors for free. You have something I need- your misery. I told you it was addicting, but you have no idea. It’s the most potent kind of drug I could ever have, and going cold turkey for these months hasn’t been easy on me. I would like to continue feeding on it. It’s quite nourishing.  So, the catch is, that you stay with me, and I keep you in a constant state of misery, until I find a suitable replacement.” John frowned.

“Was the bullying not enough?” John asked, and Caliborn shok his head.

“My new form requires larger doses. Which means more misery, on your part- and obviously, you can’t tell anyone about this part of the deal.”

“So, what would you do?” John asked, and Caliborn shrugged.

“Either keep you in a holding area of some sort, or my home. I’ll make your mere existence miserable, and feed off it. Hopefully, I’ll be able to ween myself off your taste. I don’t like being dependent on you any more than you like depending on me. Once I stop craving you, you can go back. But until then, you will have to stay with me.” He said, and John looked at him.

“What keeps me from escaping the second you take care of Crockercorp?” Caliborn raised an eyebrow.

“What, is your word not enough?” John frowned.

“What, you haven’t considered it yet? Now I know you’re lying.” John said, and the words spurred an amused laugh from Caliborn.

“The similarities are endless! But you’re right, I have. Asking was just a formality. But what keeps you with me? Something you would hate to have taken away again. Someone, actually.” John looked at him, and folded his arms.

“I’m not doing this if you’re hurting my loved ones. Then there’s no point.” John commented, and Caliborn smiled.

“Oh, I wouldn’t dream of hurting her. You’ll find that I’m a most excellent host.” He said, and John raised an eyebrow.

“Which ‘her’ are we talking about here?” His mind flashed with images of Roxy, Rose, and Jade. Caliborn closed his eyes for a moment, and snapped. A green blur appeared next to him, and it slowly gained physical shape. John’s eyes scanned her from the floor up. She was just taller than him, and wore a beige dress. A familiar beige dress. His eyes met her face in a squint, and they widened in shock. John’s hand went slack, his mouth fell open, and he didn’t register it, but he felt water bubbling in the tips of his eyes. The face that met his was one that he hadn’t seen animated in years, and yet, he’d stared at it for hours on end. The thick glasses, the curve of her jaw, and the eyes he saw every time he looked in a mirror made it evident. Obvious even.

John’s dead mother stood in front of him.

When the woman saw John, her similar eyes leaked with tears, and the black hair that almost matched his perfectly swished as she turned to look at him. John couldn’t speak for seconds there, and he looked at the visage in front of him in disbelief.

“M-Mom? I- I don’t…” John tried, and he reached his hand out. His eyes broke away from her, and landed on Caliborn. “How?” He questioned, wanting to believe what laid in front of him, but at the same time, not wanting to either. His mother had been dead for ten years, yet she looked exactly as she did in her portrait. Caliborn decided to explain.

“The ring on her finger. I personally don’t control life and death, but there are ways to get around a lot- even dying. As I said John, there’s a world of possibilities. You’ll find that your mother is very real.” John took one step towards her, then another. Two became four, four became six, and before he knew it, the two closed the distance in a hug. The gold ring on her finger shone brightly next to her marriage band, and John practically sank into her embrace.

“John.” She whispered, and that was when the tears really fell. If one wandered into this area of the park right now- and, not that they would, due to Caliborn’s modifications to their area, they’d find two shaking, kneeled, human forms on the ground. They’d see a man who appeared to be a bodybuilder in a trench coat, that didn’t match the oncoming season in the slightest. They’d find that the breeze was significantly stronger here, and that the blooming flowers around them stood more attentively than they usually would, in Washington. They’d find that the body builder-like man had an evil, cruel smile on his face, as if he planned to place an axe in the back of the two. He loomed over them, seeming overly satisfied. They would hear cries of ‘I missed you’s and the tears of a happy and sorrowful reunion. They’d hear sobs and glasses clinking and clothing ruffling after watching it go still.

And soon, they’d hear the footsteps of a boy that was ready to make a deal.

___________--

AN: Oh man, I hope I wrote that right, geez. I wanted that to be really dramatic, and I’m not entirely sure if I accomplished that but… yeah. There’s that.

JAFNF Chapter 127

(Tuesday, May 26th)

Now, John Egbert was a lot of things. He was definitely studious. He was loyal. He was kind, goofy, and noble too. He was an avid fan of movies, and valued his loved ones above himself.

He was not an idiot.

Well, not a complete idiot, anyway. After Caliborn presented John his once dead mother, John knew that a lot rode on the table. Even more importantly, he knew he couldn’t say no. However, John knew enough not to just hand himself over as Caliborn’s dungeon slave for all eternity. So, he had some conditions. At least, he took the time to think of where he had an advantage. Fortunately, he had a lot of leverage against Caliborn. The man was addicted to him.

This was how he could refuse to settle for all of Caliborn’s terms. He knew the deal Caliborn was offering was one he couldn’t pass up. An opportunity to keep the world safe, along with everyone he cared about, didn’t come often. Nevertheless, that didn’t mean he would do everything Caliborn said. So, he made demands, and requests, and they reached an agreement.

John would still serve as Caliborn’s fuel on a daily basis. However, he refused to stay with Caliborn permanently, and wouldn’t miss any school for whatever Caliborn had in store for him. He would, however, have to visit him every day, but John could make up a lie of some sort. His mother, while she didn’t retain knowledge of her afterlife, did remember her normal one. John could see her and talk to her every day, for a reasonable amount of time, to John anyway. He would continue his education, no matter how long this twisted rehab took, and still live as normal of a life as possible, outside of Caliborn. Caliborn would still take care of Crockercorp. His mom, while she couldn’t go back to her normal life, would be treated well. Unfortunately, John couldn’t get around her staying with Caliborn, since he was his bargaining chip.

Then came what John had to do in return. Caliborn already made him well aware that he would hurt him to feed off his misery. However, since he refused to stay with Caliborn as a complete fuel source, John learned that the misery doses he fed Caliborn would have to be stronger, which meant that they would have to escalate the pain, and misery levels to torture. John wanted to back out at that, but he thought about his friends, family, and mom. And he knew he couldn’t. He never wanted something like what happened with Latula to ever take place again, and Caliborn found it necessary to remind him that people were still being kidnapped everywhere. So, he made his decision. He agreed.

They would start Friday. Since he had half days for his final exams, he had a week to clear his head, and enjoy life without being under Caliborn again. John knew he still couldn’t tell his closest friends and family what was going on. He hadn’t seen future Dave or the normal one yet, but that was expected. As John walked out of the building, a ridiculously easy pair of finals in his wake, he left for home as quickly as he could.

No one was in his house, and considering that it was only mid-day and both his father and Roxy were busy, it wasn’t a surprise.  He flew up to his room, since he was alone, and searched for Casey. When he found her, she was wearing… a small blanket of some sort like a hooded cloak, and warbling oddly over one of Rose’s books.

“Casey?” He questioned, and the salamander fell silent immediately. She turned to see John, and quickly attempted to take the blanket off in embarrassment. John giggled, and flew over to help her. “What were you doing in here?” He questioned, as he pulled the white fabric off her. “And hey, where’d you get this?” He questioned, and the salamander just blew an embarrassed bubble at him. John’s face lit with delight, and he hugged the lizard. “Okay, if you say so. Anyway, I’m back early today, in case you didn’t realize.” He said it with a goofy grin. “Is this what you do when I’m not here?” Casey paused for a second, and made a nodding motion. John smiled at her. A thought went through his mind.

“Dave would think this was awesome.” John commented, and looked away sadly. Dave was always on his mind now. He wasn’t sure if he could ever really tell his best friend what was going on. He knew he wanted to. John wanted to make things better with Dave, and explain that he trusted him. He wanted to tell him everything, but John knew he couldn’t. Part of Caliborn’s deal was that he wouldn’t tell anyone, and he had to uphold his end of the bargain. Casey noticed John’s change in disposition, and blew a bubble at him. It popped right in front of his nose, and John’s eyes widened.

“Hey!” He squeaked, feeling the saliva on his face. He could have sworn the Salamander almost looked mischievous. John’s eyes narrowed, but a smile broke what he meant to be a stern expression. John rolled his eyes, and wiped his face. “Gross.” He commented, and Casey seemed to smirk at him. She moved her face closer to his, and they seemed to stare at each other in the eyes. Nothing happened for a second, then two. John felt like he was staring into Casey’s soul, and fell silent, as if they were having some sort of spiritual connectivity interaction. And then, something did happen. Casey blew a gigantic spit bubble at John’s face, and it was big enough to cover the entire thing in saliva. He couldn’t avoid it, and closed his eyes in disgusted preparation. When it was finally over, John wiped his mouth in horror.

“Eww!” He announced again, and preceded to blow Casey off him. She landed safely on the bed, and he rushed to the bathroom to rinse his face. After he was moderately clean, he found Casey sitting there, and crossed his arms.

“Why did you do that?” John questioned, and Casey flicked her tongue at him, but didn’t seem sorry in the slightest. John wanted to stay mad. Really, he did. But she just sat there, with her little arms and tail- and before he could stop himself a grin flicked across his face. He controlled it, and decided that he’d at least send a little threat. “Young lady, if you do it again, I’m sending you back to wind and Shade.” John used his sternest, most dad like tone possible, and Casey actually gulped. John held back a giggle at the action, before an idea struck him.

“Hey, wait! Want to go back to wind and Shade?” John questioned, and Casey actually looked sorry, and worried. “No, not as a punishment. Want to visit again?” He asked, and Casey seemed to pause, but nod. John grinned. “Okay, we’ll leave in a second!” He said, and he rushed out of the room in a flight of wind. Really, he was glad that he didn’t have to spend time and master his powers. He knew about them now, and as soon as he did, he could feel them. He felt his limitations, and knew what he could and couldn’t do. He didn’t know every application, but he was creative enough to pick it up if he needed it once Typheus introduced his basic power set.

Which reminded him- he could see Typheus again!  Visiting the land o Wind and Shade was sure to make him feel better, if only because of the area’s magic. Typheus called him at one point, and told him how to get to Wind and Shade if he ever needed to while Typheus wasn’t there. It was through a suspiciously dark window, and one that he could only access by flying inside. Still, John wanted to see his denizen, and get his opinion on the third choice Caliborn gave him. He knew he couldn’t back out now. Now, it was blackmail too. Caliborn did still have his mother, after all, but he promised she wouldn’t be hurt. He liked John as a food source anyway.

It would have been nice to tell his dad and Roxy about Jane. He knew they would have needed to know. When the truth came out, John knew his father wouldn’t be happy that John hid this from him. John just hoped that his dad could forgive him. He hoped that Karkat and Dave could forgive him as well. Jade seemed bent on not talking to him too. She’d probably seen how upset Karkat got over John’s actions. John naturally just stayed far from Bro, and refused to confide in Davepeta.

Roxy was incredibly distant, a fact that made John feel hurt, and hollow. His Dad didn’t seem to know what to say, and future Dave often found himself in the same position. John knew for a fact that Rose knew Dave’s perspective on the situation by now, and though she actively tried to figure out what was going on with John, he used the fact that she was across the country to his advantage.

And it wasn’t just that either. Whenever Terezi passed him in the hallway, she had this look on her face. It was surprise at first, then just moved into a sort of acceptance, like she knew what was going to happen. Vriska clearly hadn’t let on that she was involved with John, in any way. Strangers would look between him and Dave. The name calling had started up again too. Damara sent him looks of worry, and John could tell that she wanted to know what was going on. John never saw Nepeta and Equius, and he constantly rejected Jake’s attempts for talking things out. John knew the man was upset, but there was nothing he could do.

Basically, in the course of three weeks, John managed to alienate everyone that knew him well and cared about him. And now he was off to go undergo torture, for them. Future Dave’s promise that things would turn out okay assured him, but he still hated that he couldn’t make up with his friends. From Vriska’s strategy meetings, he’d learned that she would be the one to inform everyone of what was going on, “when the time was right”.

While John had no idea what that meant, she seemed to revel, at least a little, in clearly knowing more about the situation than John. She’d adopted Future Dave’s tone of half-sympathetic, and half cryptic. Vriska adopted some mantra that made no sense to comfort him. While John wasn’t sure what “he’s already here” actually meant, he guessed that she meant that the future was already set in stone, and that all he had to do was deal with it until the situation was fixed. It was a little comforting, in a weird way, but it didn’t mean that what he had  to go through was any better.

And the idea that Vriska, John’s ex girlfriend of all people, would explain what was going on made John uncomfortable. He wanted it to come from him, but John knew how much of a problem that would be. They’d just dissuade him, or even try to rescue him and Jane, which would be suicide if Caliborn was as powerful as he said he was. John knew that much, at least. If Caliborn was as powerful as he said, John knew he’d have no problem wiping out John’s loved ones in an instant. Still, he wished he could start the process of fixing things, at least with Dave. That lead John to his current task of the day. He searched for a bucket, or basket of some sort. Once he located one, John had it securely in his hands. He already checked, and confirmed that he had all the necessary ingredients for what he was doing. As he looked at the empty basket, he flew up to the top level of his house and grabbed Casey, who wore that black hood and had a large stick with her. After placing his salamander inside, John went to the front door, and opened, then locked it. John was ready to go apple picking.

Since he could push himself as fast as he wanted, John’s flight took just under two hours, and included some substantial playing around in the sky and dodging airplanes. When he finally arrived, John set himself and Casey down in front of Typheus’ house, and knocked. John waited, and knocked again. Eventually, it became evident that he wasn’t there. John sighed, and flew around the house in search of the suspiciously dark window. Once he found it, John went through it.

Instantly, a dark void surrounded him. He hugged Casey and his basket tightly. Beyond that, he felt nothing. John couldn’t make out the presence of a floor, and flew through instead. His heart pounded in his chest, and he found the opposite window that he knew he needed to go through. As he entered it, John was blinded by the light, and shut his eyes.

And suddenly, he saw blue. The wondrous landscape of Wind and Shade returned, and John couldn’t help the grin that settled on his face. Blue mushrooms glowed as he flew past them. John decided to drop Casey off at the village first, where she hastily hugged him, then ran to get reacquainted. John smiled at the interaction, and flew off again. Now that wind and shade had water instead of oil, fruit trees became far more common.  Still, it took John a solid ten minutes of flying before he stumbled upon his first apple tree. 

However, when he did find it, he found two other trees alongside it, and all glowed with their blue, ethereal beauty. John found more than enough apples on the tree for his purposes, and proceeded to start picking immediately. He picked twelve, since they were incredibly small, and took an extra for himself. After thinking, he took three more- one for his Dave, one for future Dave, and one for Casey as well. Picking them actually took a while, since the tree’s trunks and leaves were almost the same color as the apples, and all glowed.

Still, John did it. After putting an apple in his mouth and eating it, he walked away with his full basket and sighed. John remembered when he and Dave were in his room, and he’d been showing off his blood transfusion powers. He remembered how he’d sink his teeth into apples. It sparked a variety of questions, including wondering what made the plant life here glow. Then again, he could have asked what made turtles pink and red alligators swim in lava too, but he guessed that it was just part of the uniqueness of these elemental lands.

John decided, after taking a calming walk, that he needed to get back and study for the next day’s finals, along with preparing this. It probably would have been nice to just bring his backpack and study here, or in Light and Rain, but it was too late for that now. So, he decided to make his way to the salamander village, and locate Casey. When he originally walked in, he saw a good hundred or so Salamanders. John remembered that he hadn’t told Casey where he’d meet her, so now he had to search for her. Still, it shouldn’t have been hard to find a salamander in a blanket. As he walked around, he noticed a few other creatures as well. A pink turtle consort hurriedly passed him, and later, he saw a blue iguana consort as well. It shouldn’t have surprised him much, but in truth, John was surprised. The yellow living mass of consorts was populated by a few other colors now. 

John went past the well, on the search for Casey. He knew he could recognize her once he found her. After all, she was different from the others there- they had a bond. As he went further in, he realized they actually had a nice little town. The entire place felt like a videogame, or medieval area.  The young boy felt like he was walking through Hyrule castle town, and the consorts were the npc’s. John made his way around, and discovered what looked like a market of some sort. Spit bubbles flew everywhere, and blue tongues flickered. There were substantially more Consorts from other lands, and all seemed to be trading. He saw an interaction or two, where gears or other things would be traded for teapots or apples.

The decision to fly over the buys marketplace was an easy one. There was always a salamander running, or an alligator swishing its tail, or a pink turtle moving as quickly as it could. The whole area was incredibly interesting, and John would have liked time to explore it, but he had to find Casey.

After a lot of searching, he realized that no salamanders with blankets were present in the area. John decided it would be best to just go to the front of the village and wait for her to appear, when he noticed her white blanket. Unfortunately, it sat on a blue iguana’s back. Maybe she’d traded it? John flew down to the iguana. After a brief discussion, of sorts, with the iguana, he found that Casey traded the blanket for a pink ribbon. Now, he could search via pink ribbon.

John finally noticed the ribbon in a turtle consort’s vendor stand, and learned that she’d traded the ribbon for something else. After realizing that Casey traded said item for something else, John realized how tedious the process of locating his salamander would be.

He went through approximately ten stalls. Finally, after learning that she traded something for a black cloak, John searched for said cloak. He looked desperately, and found her standing in the crowd. She had her stick and newly acquired dark garment, and John beamed when he finally found her. He half expected a treasure- box opening sound to play, but was happy enough when he found her.

“Casey!” He called, and the amphibian turned. He grabbed her, and his face lit up. “I’m so glad I found you!” He cheered, and Casey sent him a bubble. He looked at her. “Nice cloak. You look… mysterious.” John commented, and she seemed to break out in a happy smile at that. John looked at her. “Are you done in here? You sure did a lot of trading!” He announced, and she sheepishly flicked her tongue at  him. She noticed his apples, and bubbled excitedly at them. John saw what she was looking at, and handed her one. Immediately, she took off in the busy marketplace, and John had to fly after her. “Wait!” He called, but she paid him no mind. After passing vendor area after vendor area, she finally found a pink turtle’s stand.

“Casey, don’t run away like- Oh!” John said, when he saw her standing in front of one.  She pointed at a short scarf of some sort, and presented her apple to the selling consort. John expected her to trade the apple and leave, but the turtle sent a rude snap at her, and Casey sent a pleading bubble towards the turtle. However, the pink turtle shook its head, and she took the apple back, then sadly returned to John.

“Casey, what’s wrong? Why didn’t you- oh, was the apple not enough?” John asked, and Casey shook her head. She put har arms up, as if she were ready to leave. John frowned. “Wait, can I give them something else?” John asked, and looked down at his basket of apples. “Maybe another apple?” To this, Casey shook her head. John deflated for a second. “Oh.” He said, and Casey took one last look at the pink, striped scarf, then turned away towards John again. John realized how much she wanted the item, and thought of a way to get it for her, then looked at her reassuringly. “Hey, why don’t I negotiate with them? Maybe I’ll have something they want?” John asked, and Casey looked up hopefully. John looked at the vendor determinedly. He was getting that scarf.

“Hello there!” He said brightly, looking at the pint turtle vendor. It made a sound at him, and John assumed it was a greeting. “Hey, so what could I give you for that scarf?” John asked, and the vendor looked at John, then put a single claw up. They moved to the back, and presented a broken record. John blinked. “You… want a new record?” John questioned, and looked down. “I don’t have that- oh, wait, you like music? What about piano?” He asked, and the turtle looked interested. “What if I played that giant piano- you know, the one up there, for you?” He questioned, pointing at the piano he’d played to open the gate.

“Is the scarf worth a song?” John questioned, and the turtle thought about it, then nodded. John grinned. “Okay! One song, coming up! Want to go up there now?” John questioned, and the turtle looked back at the consorts around it, nervously. John frowned. “Oh, you think they’ll take your stuff. Uh, what if Casey watched the shop for you while I play?” John questioned, pointing at his salamander. The turtle looked at her, and made noises. Casey warbled back, and in an instant, she was behind the market counter. John grinned, and waved at her. “Okay. I’m going to play a song, you stay here, and I’ll get you that scarf. Sound good, Case? I’ll leave my apples with you.” He added, and the salamander sent a bubble at him. John put the apples under the counter, and grabbed the turtle.

Seconds later, they were at the top of John’s piano stand thing, and John summoned two wind hands to assist him. He looked at the turtle.

“Any requests?” John asked, and the turtle shook its head. John put his hands out. He could have played some piece from long ago, but John decided he’d just freestyle for now. The instance all twenty of his fingers hit the organ, John knew what he wanted to play. He closed his eyes, and breathed out. Instantly, the thing that he’d been thinking about all week, Dave, entered his mind, and he started to play.

As he moved his fingers across the keys, John found that he wasn’t really listening to what he was playing. Instead, he focused on what he was thinking about- Dave, and it took off from there. The piece could only be described as bittersweet. Its highs seemed to sting, and the lows seemed to burn. Anyone listening could tell that John was sad, from the piece. He played the instrument, and his fingers experimentally fell across the keys. As he finished, he let out a deep breath. That weight he’d been feeling was back, but he turned to the turtle and smiled nervously.

“Was… that okay?” John questioned, and the turtle, who’d been mesmerized by the playing, quickly nodded. John saw a tear at the corner of his eye, and noticed it inconspicuously try to wipe it off. “Are you okay?” John added, and the turtle nodded vigorously. John grinned. He could give Casey her scarf now! John returned to the vendor’s stand with the turtle, and the consort happily bestowed her with the scarf. She took it gratefully, then jumped at John in happiness. John held her and spun, and he was honestly more than happy to give her the gift. Once they finally stopped, John said his goodbyes to the turtle, grabbed his apples, and left Wind and Shade.

By the time John finally got home, he realized he’d spent nearly an hour in wind and shade, along with four hours total commute time,  and needed to study. After finishing his review for his last final, biology, John realized that it was too late to start baking. His father could be home whenever, and John couldn’t take the chance of the man finding him with glowing apples. When his father’s garage did finally open, John ignored it and crawled into bed. Casey sat beside him, and she sent him reassuring bubbles as he drifted off to sleep.

____________-----

AN: Hey, I wrote it! I’m not going to lie- I was lacking a lot of motivation to keep going after that last one, but lack of motivation won’t stop me! That said, I did laze around writing this for like a week, so…. Sorry.

JAFNF Chapter 128

(Wednesday, May 27)

It was the last day of school. The building’s overall cheer was evident, from the students wearing pajamas to the various giggles that sounded across the hallways. Unfortunately, John failed to reflect the same cheer. The people around him were happy about the end of school, but John had his biology final today, which meant he’d sit behind Dave for the last time that year. It also meant that he was a step closer to Caliborn’s torture sessions.

John finished his sixth period final to move onto his seventh. He walked into the room silently, and refused to converse with anyone. He shuffled quietly past Jake, who looked at him in concern, and sighed as he sat in his seat. Karkat glared at him poisonously as he saw him in the class, and John noticed Dave’s jaw twitch as he saw John, but otherwise remained silent. Neither had forgotten what tomorrow would be. Neither allowed themselves to acknowledge it either. Dave’s silently sat next to Karkat, and John felt like collapsing. They were right there in front of him. John wanted nothing more than to explain everything, and tell them what was really going on. But he couldn’t. Not until Crockercorp was taken care of. Still, John could explain himself, a little. He knew it wouldn’t be enough. But John refused to start his deal with Caliborn without at least doing something to bridge the gap between him and Dave.

So, when the final bell for the end of school rang, John watched Dave and Karkat leave the classroom quickly, and slowly walked after him.

“Have a good summer, Mr. English!” He tried to put enthusiasm into it, but it sounded so weak, and upset, and scared that John wished he hadn’t said anything at all. In truth, John was scared. He didn’t want to be tortured. But it was worth it, for his friends, family, and the world to be safe. Damara offered him a one armed hug as she walked out, and wished him a good summer. He smiled at that, and wished her the same. As soon as she walked away, John’s shoulders slumped, and then he realized what needed to happen. John had to go home, now.

He walked away from the school building that had given him so much, and started his route home. Once he finally reached the building, he cracked his fingers. He found a note from his father, where the man wrote how proud he was that he’d finished out his school year. He’d informed him that he couldn’t be home tonight already, so the note’s presence made John smile. He felt a little warm at the note, then felt sick directly after wards. He shook his head. After putting it to the side, John flew up to his room, greeted Casey, and grabbed his blue apples.

John went through the motions of making pie again, but it was blue this time. As he washed, peeled, processed and sprinkled, he kept thinking of Dave. Somehow, the activity had been a thousand times better when he did it with the blonde, mere weeks ago. John’s heart ached. His torture sessions would start soon, he knew. His eyebrows fell, and he grew more determined. It only made what he was doing now more important.

When John finally finished baking, including the pie crust extras, and cleaning, it was getting into the early evening. Future Dave had come by, wishing him a happy last day of school, but had to leave soon. John appreciated his presence, but it made the fact that he wasn’t doing this with Dave hurt more. Now, all John had to do was figure out what he’d write to Dave, on the card he’d include. He knew bro’s day was a tentative subject, but he wanted to apologize, at least a little.

So, he made a card with a letter, as was tradition for the past few years of their lives. John handwrote the message, folded the paper, and used an envelope. The process took him an hour- figuring out what he wanted to say, and how he wanted to say it. In the end, John knew that nothing would really be enough. He got a gift basket and put the pie inside, along with one of the Wind and Shade apples, so Dave knew what he was hopefully eating. John placed the original gift he’d set aside for him in there too, and waited.

The idea was to deliver it at midnight, and keep the pie warm. He wasn’t sure how, or if Dave would receive it, but he hoped he would. When it was finally time for John to go deliver the food, the boy decided he’d leave it on his windowsill. After all, he didn’t want Dirk to read it, and the card really was for Dave’s eyes only. John appeared at Dave’s home in a matter of minutes, and stealthily made his way to his window. It was only then when John looked at the sky around him.

The moon was close to full. Not completely, but close. John flew up there, attempting to stay unseen. He checked his watch again. Midnight would be in three… two…. John heard a mumble inside of Dave’s room, and decided that it was time. He had the basket in place, and knocked hard on Dave’s window. The second he heard feet shuffling, John darted into the clouds, and flew away, then started his walk home.

It turned out that he was near his school. He knew people were out and about, and various parties were happening among students. John decided to walk the way he had all those months ago, back when Caliborn and Karkat used to bully him. As he took his metaphorical stroll down memory lane, John felt his eyes water a little. So much had changed, and yet, things were still… he didn’t know what to think, or say. As he walked towards his home, a voice sounded.

“I guessed you’d come here.” The voice was familiar. John frowned, stepping back.

“Karkat?” He questioned, and the boy moved from his position on the wall, but didn’t face John. They were close enough to a street light so that Karkat wasn’t standing creepily alone in the dark, but he was still standing alone at night.

“Yeah. It’s me.” He said, and John looked down. He had questions, but couldn’t say anything. “You know John, I thought you’d talk to him. Figure it out. Apologize, or explain. Go back to being friends again. After I saw your blood signature go towards his house, I honestly thought you’d do something, but you just went there and left.”  Karkat said, and John didn’t respond. The boy shook his head. “I was actually surprised that Dave meant so little to you, after everything.” He said, and something made John respond. Karkat had been glaring at him, yelling, and disgusted all week. But now? John had to tell the truth. At least, part of it.

“Dave means everything to me.” He stated, and Karkat’s eyes widened as he said the words. John’s voice wasn’t small. It wasn’t scared, it was declarative. He turned around slowly.

“Then, why?” He asked, and John looked down. His voice was quiet again.

“You all matter to me.” He murmured. “I miss him.” The words came out quietly. Karkat registered them, and his eyes set in a disgusted, angry sort of glare.

“You miss nothing, you piece of shit!” He screeched. Before John could react, Karkat punched him squarely in the jaw, in a fit of rage. John started to fall sideways, and Karkat grabbed him by the shirt. Karkat’s glare was unrelentingly harsh, and he was more than prepared to use them. Before he could register what was happening, John was in battle mode. He kneed Karkat in the stomach, and kicked him back from his position on the wall. Karkat flew backwards and landed at the wall with a thud. John’s eyes widened as he saw what he’d done, and saw Karkat’s hand fall hard on a sharp piece of glass. As soon as John saw the cut, he stood there, frozen. He was horrified.

“K-Karkat? Oh, oh no, I didn’t mean-” Karkat looked up suddenly, his eyes a purplish sort of red. Rage was evident on his face, and John saw blood flow harder from his hand. Instantly, the hand with the glass wound closed into a fist, and blood spiked towards John. John barely got out of the way, but the attack still skimmed him. It hit John’s neck and was surprisingly sharp. John’s skin paled. “Karkat?” He questioned, feeling scared.

Karkat’s shaking, clenched fist filled with blood, and it seemed to solidify into a shape. It had a small hilt, and what John realized was a curved blade. It was a knife of some sort, John knew. His eyes grew bigger at the presence of the weapon, and he put his hands up. Something was wrong. John remembered the full moon tonight, but nothing should have triggered…this.

“Karkat.” He said, his voice turning into an authoritative, but calm falsetto. “I didn’t mean to hit you. I’m sorry.” He said, and it was the truth, but the boy seemed to be incapable of hearing him.

In an instant, he stalked towards him, and John backed up. He wanted to run, but John knew something was wrong. Of course, he didn’t bring his hammer with him, and he couldn’t use wind, which meant… which meant he had to calm the boy down. He felt Karkat take in a deep breath, and upon the inhale, John tensed. And in seconds, Karkat charged. It was like fighting Typheus again, but if Typheus didn’t hold himself back with his sword.

“Karkat!” John screeched, and the boy actively tried to hurt him. He jumped and dodged, and screamed his name. “Karkat!” He tried again, doing a hasty backflip and dodging. The boy was unrelenting at this point. John felt a cut graze his arm, and he began to bleed. The knife-like object was as sharp as glass, but not as breakable. At some time, John was backed up against the ground. Images of Typheus’ fight from earlier flashed through his mind, and he felt his body going on autopilot again. John knew what would happen. He’d disperse, again. Tears found themselves in John’s eyes as he felt his body do the one thing he hated.

And John broke apart. He dissolved into air, and he felt his body leave itself. His consciousness was spread across everywhere, and all he could think was together, together, and he was back again. John appeared behind the streetlight now, shaking.  John appeared hugging himself again, but tighter, and physically shook. He felt himself again. Parts that shouldn’t have been there were, and every atom in his body vibrated. It was awful, to be able to feel yourself that way. He felt the familiar tug in his stomach and pulled it, in an attempt to get closer together and never break up again. He didn’t even recognize the wind slowly picking up around him, and didn’t care either.

Ironically, his sobs are what shook Karkat out of his trance. His eyes turned back, and he looked at John’s trembling form with horror. The bloody sickles in his hands returned to his arms, and he was terrified. Karkat stared at John wildly. Had he hurt him? Through the fog of his rage, Karkat wasn’t sure, and he didn’t know what to do.

If the situation wasn’t weird enough already, Karkat noticed it getting really, really windy around John. Things started blowing, and swirling around. Karkat felt his hair move, but didn’t think about why. He was too scared for what he’d done, and for what could have happened to John. Eventually, he realized how much the wind was blowing. It seemed to be coming towards John, and cocooning around him. Karkat felt himself being pulled in, and the fact alarmed him.

“John?” He questioned, but his words were lost in the heavy breeze. He found himself taking a step back, only to be off balance. His words were more urgent now, but John couldn’t hear him. “John!” He shouted, but the boy still failed to hear him. It was like John was in a trance of his own.

He hated this- how he’d break apart. John felt his atoms deconstruct mere seconds ago, and everything moved, and tingled in a way it wasn’t supposed to. He drew himself into a tighter ball, and failed to notice the wind picking up around him. John was slowly lifted into the air, and only pulled himself tighter, tighter. The wind responded, circling him more and more than before. The wind speeds picked up, and Karkat found himself backpedaling, while various alleyway items flew towards him.

“John, Fuck, I’m sorry!” He shouted, trying to move away, and found it alarmingly difficult. A tight circle of alleyway trash and wind cocooned John. Even if Karkat wanted to run away, he couldn’t. He desperately latched onto the only hard surface in the area- a corner of a wall, and felt himself being violently blown in towards John. It was like he was nearing a tornado.

As the wind speeds picked up, John slowly realized that his particles weren’t in danger of flying away. John was together. He was okay. John repeated the mantra in his mind as his eyes slowly recognized what was going on around him, and he gasped as he realized he was levitating. Karkat seemed to be in danger of being pulled in, and clung to the side of a wall desperately. As soon as he realized what was going on, he cut off the wind that surrounded him, and his eyes widened in surprise.

Karkat sagged against a the wall, and John slowly stood as he fell from the air. He looked at Karkat’s eyes- they were back to normal. Relief fell through him first, then a terrified sort of worry. He had questions. Karkat clearly did too. The boy opened his mouth, and John could tell he was going to ask about it, or talk about it.

“John, I-” And that was the last thing John could hear as he blew himself away. He made a quick return to his home, his heart pounding. He didn’t know what would happen now, and John wasn’t sure that he wanted to. Instantaneously, John landed on his driveway, and made his way inside his home. The boy sighed, and ran a hand down his face. Well, he couldn’t undo the damage now. He wasn’t sure what Karkat would share, or what his deal was with that blood weapon, but John wasn’t going to ask. The boy was too close to fixing things to worry about it now, so John decided to do the only thing he could. With a sigh, the boy floated up to his room, settled in bed, and got some sleep.

__________-

(Thursday, May 28)

The first thing John registered as he woke up in the morning was the unusual light through his window. As awareness faded in, John struggled to open his eyes. Once he did, he saw bright, red eyes standing over his, and the boy shouted in surprise.

“Ack!” He sat up suddenly, and almost collided with the person in front of him. Luckily, he move backwards smoothly, and smirked at the slowly rousing boy.

“Happy ten year broiversary.” John looked at him in surprise.

“Dave?” He questioned, and Dave sighed.

“Not the one you’re thinking of. Anyway, we’ve got a last day strategy session planned, if you’re down. I mean, you don’t have to, but…” Future Dave trailed off, and John understood. Dave being there wouldn’t have made sense anyway. John offered him a smile.

“No, No! This is good. Thanks, Dave. We should do it, and make sure whatever you guys need is in place before I start tomorrow.” John said, and Dave seemed to brighten at the words.   

“Sweet! Then, I’ll see you once you get ready. Also, your dad’s here. Tell your dad you’re going out, and get your car, okay?” He asked him, and John nodded.

“Okay!” He said, and he disappeared in a flash of red. John sighed and looked at the still sleeping Casey. He was grateful for Dave, but at the same time, he wished… John shook his head. It didn’t matter now, he’d explain everything soon.

Soon, John was ready, and walked out of his room. His father stood in the kitchen, and had a cake with him. John looked at the man warily as he did the final icing on said cake.

“Good morning, John! How’s my twelfth grader doing?” He questioned, and John blinked, before he realized that the school year ended. He was a senior now! The excitement as he realized was evident in John’s face, and he beamed at his father.

“Good! I guess I’m done with junior year now!” John announced, and the man smiled. He put down his frosting, and opened his arms.

“I know. I’ve never been more proud. Come here, John.” He said, and John hastily moved to his dad’s arms. The boy sank into the man’s arms, and closed his eyes. He hadn’t had a hug since his mom hugged him, and before that, John hadn’t been hugged much either. The thought made John hug his father tighter. He practically just dropped his weight on the man, and his Dad took it without question. They stood in silence for a few seconds, and John felt the man’s stubble brush his hair. “Your mother would have been so, so proud.” He said quietly, and John went rigid at the statement, before relaxing.

“You think so?” John asked, and the man answered immediately.

“I know so.” Their tender hug broke, and John smiled at his father tiredly. Jacob, not for the first time that week, seemed to notice how tired his son looked. He wasn’t sure what was going on, but he hoped that with the presence of summer, John would get better. The man gestured to a prepared breakfast, and offered it to John. John sat and took it willingly, then proceeded to eat.

“Thanks, Dad.” John said, and the man nodded.

“Of course, John.” He grabbed a plate as well, and after a little chewing, he started talking. “So, do you have any plans for today?” He asked, and John chose his words carefully.

“Yeah, I’m going to hang out with some friends. What about you, dad?” He asked, and the man coughed.

“Actually… I wanted to talk to you about that.” John sat up attentively. “It’s work. I… recently got a promotion, of sorts.” John brightened.

“Oh, really? Cool, that’s good Dad!” John said, and the man frowned.

“Thank you. But I’m not sure that I can… completely see it positively.” The man said, and John cocked his head to the side a little. John’s father let out a long sigh. “We’re undergoing expansion. And, in order to effectively manage everything, I’d have to spend more time away from home. Like, the type of time I spent… before.” He said carefully, and John looked up in understanding.

“What do you mean?” Jacob put his hands up.

“If I decide to accept, I’ll be gone for months at a time, and frequently. It could mean that we open up a lot of jobs for a lot of people and make more revenue, but it also means that I’ll be away more often than anyone should. I’m not sure that I should, even though I know the benefits.” He paused. “I don’t want to be like I was before, John. I want to watch you grow, and be there for you. I would, hypothetically, come home sometimes, but not enough. I want to know what you think before I decide if I want this.” He explained, and John swallowed. Oh.

“You said it would make a lot of jobs?” John asked, and his father nodded.

“The benefits are unimaginable. I just don’t know about the cost, in regards to us.” He said, and John sighed.

“I can’t hold you back from your job, Dad. If the benefits are really as good as you say, you should go for it.” John said, and looked down. “It’s not the same as before. We’ll still talk, right?” John asked, and the man nodded.

“Every day, I promise. We can even start streaking on that snapping chat thing.” His father said, and the phrase spurred a snort from John.

“Snapchat?” He asked, and the man nodded.

“Yes, that!” John looked at him.

“Then okay. You should do it, dad.” John said, and the man looked surprised that he agreed so easily.

“Are you positive, John? You’re not holding me back.” He said, and John nodded.

“I’ll be okay, Dad.” John frowned as he thought about what would happen tomorrow. At least, it would be easier to lie about his whereabouts. He was sure going to Caliborn’s every day would be a difficult task, at best. Which reminded him, he needed to do that strategy session, soon. Future Dave and Vriska were probably waiting.

“If you’re sure. Thank you for your opinion on the subject.” The man took another deem breath, and the smile returned to his face. “Now, didn’t you have some friends to attend to?” He asked, and John made a sound of alarm, then quickly forced his food in his mouth. John swallowed.

“Of right! I think I have to go.” Jacob chuckled, and watched John stuff food in his face. He looked like he wanted to comment on the childlike behavior, but decided against it. John hastily finished his food, and stood suddenly. “See you later, Dad!” John called as he put his plate away, and the man stayed seated, but looked up at his son in greeting.

“See you, John. And remember, I love you.” John ran out of the house, the words “I love you” accompanied with the slam of a door. His father heard a car door open, and close just as quickly. The man chuckled again with mirth, and watched his son leave in his vehicle. The man turned his head towards hs dead wife’s portrait on the wall. She’d be so proud.

__---------

After an hour or two long session with Dave and Vriska, John felt the effects of dealing with not one, but two people that knew more about the situation than him. It wasn’t the greatest. In all honesty, he felt like he was third wheeling. Still, he tried his best to be included, even though Dave remained nonchalant and Vriska stayed bossy.

“And then, Caliborn stops them from building up their supernatural armies, and we save both parts of the world!” John summarized, and Vriska nodded.

“Pretty good, John. But you forgot the part about containing Karkat. Let’s go over it one more time.” Vriska said, and Dave rolled his eyes behind his sunglasses.

“Why? I think he gets it. I get it, it’s not a big deal.” Dave responded, and Vriska shook her head.

“And this is why I’m in charge of these meetings. Right, John?” She extended the word right, and said it in a sing song- like tone. He wasn’t sure if it was meant to be appeasing or threatening, but John replied anyway.

“I think I’m okay, Vriska. We already went over this four times. And Karkat is all you two’s jobs anyway, I understand my part. Unless there’s something else, I think I’m okay for tomorrow.” John admitted, and Vriska sighed.

“Fine. I guess he’s ready, Dave.” Dave snapped, and looked  to John without complaint.

“Actually, there is something else.”A voice said, and John turned around.

“What?” In that instant, another future Dave appeared, but from elsewhere. “There’s more?” John questioned, and both Vriska and the two future Daves responded in harmony.

“Infinite, actually.” John’s face must have been funny at their actions, because all three broke into laughter. Once it subsided, the second Future Dave smirked.

“Yeah, but you remember how I said the consequences would be fucked up if I touched you?” He asked, then amended his words. “Or this me?” John nodded. “Well… okay, stay still, and close your eyes. These are the consequences.” John did as he was told, despite not knowing what would happen. “And remember, there’s no place like home!” Dave strode over to him, bent over his face, and kissed John on the mouth. The boy’s eyes flew open as he felt it, then heat filled his cheeks. It only lasted a second though, because soon after, Dave smiled and disappeared. John looked at Dave and Vriska in surprise. He opened his mouth.

“What-” and he didn’t get to finish, because he disappeared. Suddenly, John was somewhere else. He sat, and saw- hey, was that Kanaya? Standing over a cradle that hissed at her. Before she could question it, he disappeared again. When he became aware of his surroundings, he found himself above a house of some sort. John teleported away again, and stood in front of a grave. The next scene placed him above a laughing, smaller Caliborn. He watched himself get shoved by Caliborn in one scene, then punch him in the face in a different one. John saw Terezi and Karkat holding hands, watched Dave and Vriska scream at each other, and saw PM transform into something terrifying with wings.

John closed his eyes. He had no idea what was going on, but he wanted to go back. As scenarios with zero context flashed past him, he strained to pick up any instruction Dave or Vriska offered him. What had he heard, before he was kissed?

“There’s no place like home!” John shouted, and in an instant, he was back where he started. Dave and Vriska stood in front of him, and John looked at them. They were in the same position as he left them in, with Dave’s arms crossed and Vriska’s hand on her hip. John braced himself, for the world to change around him, but it didn’t happen.

“Had a nice trip?” Vriska questioned, and John gaped at her.

“What?” He asked, and looked towards Dave. “What did you do?” John asked, and Dave smirked.

“It’s a scapegoat. In case things get too intense over there, you can get out now. I know you don’t want to have to go, but hopefully, this will be an option in case things go to shit, like usual.” John looked at Dave unsurely.

“How will I know where to go- or, I guess, when to go?” John questioned, and Dave raised an eyebrow.

“The same way you got back here. It automatically redirects you to your spot on your timeline, linearly. But you can just jump out of there if things get really bad, and come back somewhere else if you need to.” Dave explained. “Normally, I wouldn’t have done this, since it’s kind of a risk, but if you really can’t just become wind, this is the next best option.” John digested his words, and nodded.

“O…kay. Okay. Then, I guess I just have one question. Why did he kiss me?” John asked, and Vriska snorted at the question, while Dave’s impassive expression twitched and threatened to form a smile.

“Don’t worry about it.” Dave managed to respond, attempting to hold in a laugh. John looked exasperated.

“Seriously? That’s more future stuff too?” John asked, and Dave and Vriska exchanged a look. Vriska couldn’t keep the amusement from her face.

“Yeah, John. That’s future stuff, sorry.” She said, and Dave hid a laugh behind his hand. John crossed his arms in frustration, and shook his head as his friends began to laugh. These futuristic inside jokes were almost too much for John to handle, but he supposed it was okay. Regardless, it didn’t really matter anyway. Starting tomorrow, he was going to do his part in saving the world.

____________-

AN: BOOM.

JAFNF Chapter 129

(Thursday, May 28)

Dave was still awake when the clock struck twelve. He knew what today was. To think that he met his closest, possibly ex best friend six years ago was a chilling thought, when he reflected on the state of their friendship, or lack thereof. In all honesty, Dave wasn’t sure how he felt about John. He knew he still missed him. He also knew John had been avoiding him, and through a forced conversation or two, everyone else. Karkat mentioned that he’d been with Vriska lately, who Dave knew as John’s previous girlfriend. Their relationship ended a while back though, so he didn’t know why.

He thought the worst part was that he didn’t know what was wrong. John confirming that he couldn’t trust Dave with whatever it was, then proceeding to ignore any attempts to talk to John really shook him. Even after talking to Roxy, the idea of John not trusting him made Dave’s insides turn. Dave thought that he at least deserved an explanation. Hadn’t he earned that much, after ten years? Dave knew John’s grades were fine. The problem wasn’t with his dad, or anyone close to him. In fact, everyone around John seemed to be doing well too. His hunting had been almost nonexistent in the past few weeks, and Dave doubted he was having an ethical crisis about that. Dave even went as far as to check his blood signature, in case some sort of body-swapping horror thing took over John, but even that proved inconclusive.

It was like John literally just woke up and decided to remove himself from everyone’s lives, for no reason. Dave could tell he was depressed, but he wouldn’t talk to him! Jake still remained constantly worried for the boy, while Dave could tell that Bro was trying to hide how pissed he was at John’s actions. Dave appreciated the sentiment, with his older brother, Karkat, and even Jade getting mad for him, but it didn’t change anything. Rose, to his knowledge, still wanted to figure out what was wrong with John. Dave did too, to an extent, but he’d given him so many chances already! He felt like he was tipping over the edge of giving up.

The thought made Dave’s heart ache. He’d never felt the way he felt around John with anyone else. It was like he felt like home when John was there, and his absence had been detrimental to Dave. Thankfully, he didn’t let it affect his success in school. Dave was pretty sure he did okay on his finals, but finishing his first year in school seemed far less satisfying without John celebrating at his side. Dave knew not to blame himself, but he didn’t know what was wrong.

He remembered Karkat’s advice after John effectively ignored them until the end of school, when he’d suggested that he try to move on. The idea itself scared Dave. Letting go of something like that scared Dave endlessly. How could it not, when he’d invested ten years of himself in someone? He spent all of that time pining after John, for three weeks to tear it all away.

John was everything to him, and to be cast aside so suddenly just unnerved Dave to no end. Through the situation, he was actually the most thankful for Terezi. The girl didn’t ask questions, but remained supportive anyway. He’d been invited to a party for the end of school by some kid he didn’t know, but he spent the day with her instead, and it made a huge difference.

It still didn’t keep him from staying up that night. So, when a hard series of knocks on his window sounded, Dave heard it. He debated getting his sword. The odds were that it was some ill timed, well meaning prank from his brother to make him feel better. It wouldn’t work, but he appreciated the effort. With that thought in mind, Dave dragged himself out of bed, and moved to his window. He opened it, and his eyebrows scrunched in surprise. Atop the windowsill, a basket sat in front of him. Dave reached out for it and grabbed it tentatively, expecting smuppets, or something.

What he got surprised him. It contained two envelopes and a framed image, along with two things at the bottom. Dave picked up the framed image first, and found a bunch of pictures of himself, from when he was like, eleven. They were all taken as selfies, and with a shock, Dave remembered them. They were the first images he’d ever developed on his own. But, Dave lost them between a move, years ago. So how did they sit in front of him, collectively framed now? He carefully placed the item on his bed, and decided to take everything he saw out of the basket.

A blue, glowing thing that Dave originally perceived to be a ball turned out to be an apple. The vampire looked at it curiously, wondering how it radiated its dull light, or how it was blue. He found a box inside  as well, and when Dave opened it, he saw that it contained a pie. Dave gingerly put the pie on his bed as well, and looked at the last thing- an envelope. The outside contained Dave’s name in neat, blue lettering. He quickly opened it, and saw that the card itself was handmade. As he opened it, he found a letter of sorts on the other side of the page, in blue pen.

Dave,

I thought it would be good to at least give you this much, after ten years. I already know it won’t make up for the past few weeks, and it’s not a big enough explanation. But, I couldn’t start this without something.

I won’t waste your time with a long letter- you probably wouldn’t want that. So, first things first- I still can’t really tell you anything that’s going on. I know this doesn’t make up for anything, and I’m not even really explaining, but I just can’t tell you. I’m sorry.

Anyway, happy ten year broiversary too. Don’t worry about how I got this gift up here. Also, the pie and apple are totally edible. I thought you may want to try it, since it’s blue and glowy, maybe? Plus, it’s an apple since… you like those. And the gift was just all the selfies you’ve shown me back when we sent each other pictures for the first time. I kept them, because you mean a lot to me, even if I haven’t been acting like it. So, yeah.

John.

PS: Please don’t show this to anyone else. And thanks… for everything.

Dave scanned the letter again, disbelievingly. John gave this to him? Anger spiked through Dave as he re-read the page. He seriously resisted the urge to crumble the note right there. All this did was leave him with more worry, and more questions. It sounded like John was getting hurt, but of course he didn’t specify how. Hell, all he said in the message was that something was wrong with him, and Dave had known that for weeks! John wasn’t any more helpful here than he was weeks ago- and stating that he missed him didn’t help. Dave was literally right in front of him. If John really missed him, he could have said something. He could have said this earlier. It didn’t feel like John trusted him now any more than he did before, and the idea irked Dave.

Even worse, he wasn’t supposed to tell anyone? Dave wasn’t sure exactly how much bullshit he could take, but he felt himself reaching an edge.  The whole message sounded like something he wrote out of guilt, and nothing else. If Dave hadn’t been slowly fading away, he doubted John would have given him this. And he gave him (okay, a pretty much perfect and meaningful) gift, thinking that it would make things better? What was the point, if John already knew the message wouldn’t help? It felt like a bribe. John still wasn’t being straight with him, and he seemed to be putting the whole situation up to ‘having a lot to think about’. What did that even mean?

The blonde put the paper down on the table again, upset. What could he do now? In the end, Dave just went downstairs and placed the food in the refrigerator, and decided that he’d deal with the rest later that day.

So, a few hours of restless sleep passed, and Dave was ready for the day. He exited his room with a practiced faux nonchalance,  despite the fact that he had a lot of thinking to do. Should he have gone to see John? Dave wasn’t sure that he should keep the message, or at least the main content, a secret. He really didn’t know what to do. Dave didn’t forgive him. He wouldn’t, until John actually tried talking to him, for once. When Dave realized the basket was from John, he’d expected a heartfelt explanation and a teary reunion and maybe even kissing in the rain. The thought made him sick, considering that he ended up with… this, instead. He ran a hand through his hair, anger and genuine disappointment augmenting the reaction.

“Hey.” A voice called, and Dave looked up from his train of thought. His brother stood there, with a red object placed against a wall.

“Hey, Bro.” Dave said, and Dirk looked at him a little awkwardly.

“Uh, you have any plans today?” The man asked, and Dave was confused by the question for all of one second before he rolled his eyes behind his sunglasses.

“No, A magic fairy didin’t appear and rectify my fucked up pretty much non-existent friendship over night. Said fairy arguably made it worse, but I don’t know if that actually means anything anymore, considering that we’re pretty much at a zero now.” Dave said, and Dirk crossed his arms at the term.

“Oh, so the glowing blue food in the fridge came from the non friendship fairy, good to know.” Dave let himself smirk.

“Well, that may have been the fucking anti friendship fairy. Shit got hand delivered like the fucking nonexistent tooth goddess, and left me radioactive apples instead of some cash.” Dave commented, and Dirk gave him a quizzical look. Dave sighed. “No, that pie didn’t magically fix stuff either, Bro.” Dirk nodded.

“Right.  Well, I finished this.” Dave raised an eyebrow.

“What is ‘this’?” Dave asked, and Dirk pushed a thumb towards the object beside him. It was a flat, red board, and it seemed to have a design reminiscent of orange flames. Dirk looked at the item pridefully.

“Well, remember how I said the first thing I actually wanted to invent was a hoverboard?” Dave nodded slowly.

“Yeah, but you said it wouldn’t work with like, a thousand bullshit mechanics words and scrapped the idea permanently when I was like, five. Why in hell are we bringing this up?” Dave’s eyes flickered to the object that sat at Dirk’s side. Realization faded in. “Wait. Seriously?”

“It’s not exactly a hoverboard. More like a rocket board, really, but without rockets. I’ll try to spare you from my thousand bullshit science words, if you will, but it had the environmental friendliness that I thought about earlier and- it’s like a skateboard that can fly.” He said, and even his ever monotone sibling seemed to have trouble containing his excitement. A smile twitched at Dave’s face. He remembered always wanting his brother to try the project again, and had vague memories of the man pretending that he was the skateboard, and Dave was the rider. In truth, Dirk seemed sad when he originally gave up the project, so to see it here again was incredible. Well, it would be, if one factor was true.

“So does it work?” Dave asked nonchalantly, trying to hide his excitement for his brother, and succeeding. Dirk smirked.

“Want to find out?” Dave’s expression must have been all he needed to hear. Dirk put the board on the ground, and invited Dave to stand on it. After a moment’s hesitation, Dave tried it. Dave looked at the object on the floor beneath him.

“So, how do I make it work?” Dave asked, and Dirk looked almost nervous before responding.

“This.” Dirk said, and produced a pair of sunglasses. “They’re i-shades, so they can be compatible with phones. They’re touch, and thought sensitive, if you want them to be, and they pretty much control the board. They don’t obstruct vision any more than mine either, so that’s probably useful.” Dirk said, and Dave’s eyebrows raised.

“Woah. Sick, bro.” Dave said, looking at the invention in surprise. He already had his own pair of glasses, and Dave didn’t understand why he just didn’t make those compatible, but it was still as cool as hell. Dirk coughed.

“ I actually found this on accident. Some online person sent me an email about the blueprints, because apparently I posted them somewhere after I realized they wouldn’t work. They said it was cool, and that I should keep working on it, even though it’s been like eight years since I put it up.” He paused. “But, I thought about it, and I decided it was time for a change. So, I figured out where things went wrong, and now I have this thing.” Dave was legitamitely happy for his brother.

“I’m glad you built it. It looks awesome. Are you planning on, you know, actually using it?” Dave questioned, and Dirk avoided his face.

“Actually that was- yeah, I thought about it. I’d look as weird as hell on this thing, since I’m not, say, still a teenager. I think I’ve kind of outgrown flaming skateboards, even if it was… nice to visit the old project.” Dirk questioned, and looked to the side. Dave looked at him.

“So, are you going to sell them, or something?” Dave asked him, and Dirk put a hand on his neck.

“Yeah, about that. Pattenting stuff is a headache, but I did it this time.”

“Why? You like, never do that.” Dave said, and Dirk shrugged.

“It’s about time I actually made a few changes when it comes to my inventing, even if I’ve been doing things without it for years. Change is pretty good, you know?” Dirk asked, and Dave nodded along, wondering where his brother was going.

“Yeah, Change can be good.” Dave tried, and Dirk nodded.

“Right. Even if it takes a few headaches, and the process itself is unpleasant, I ended up with something pretty cool as a result. Like, I thought this was, you know, not really possible forever, but I’m here with it now. So, stuff you think can last forever changes too, you know? Things you thought would stay one way for an eternity end sometimes. And it’s not bad, it just helps you grow, and get better things in the end. You know what I mean?” He asked, and Dave looked to the side awkwardly, then he saw his older brother do the same. At least, Dave was honest as he answered.

“Honestly, I have no fucking clue.” He said, trying to make sense of his brother’s statement. The man looked awkward as hell, and nodded.

“Okay, that’s cool. I was just- yeah, no that’s cool, I know that didn’t make sense.” The man seemed to be deciding against or for something, and appeared to make up his mind. He held the sunglasses in his hand, and seemed to present them to Dave. Finally, he spoke. “Just… things change, okay? You don’t have to stay one way forever.  Not everything lasts forever. Even close relationships end. And it’s okay to let go of stuff, when change needs to happen.” He said, and Dave looked at the glasses, then at his brother. Dave saw the glasses again, and a trickle of understanding passed over Dave’s face.

“Are you giving them to me?” He questioned, and Dirk nodded.

“I mean, it’s your choice if you use them. You don’t have to put them on right away. They do control the skateboard though.” And that was when Dave completely understood. Sunglasses. Change. Today, of course. Bro must have realized, and now he was giving him this. Dave looked at the items in his hands with a newfound appreciation, now even more aware of the older pair on his face. His gaze turned to his older brother, and the appreciation for the man doubled as well.

“Wow. Thanks, Bro.” He said, his words almost awed, and Dirk responded with a curt nod. Dave was pretty sure this was where normal families hugged, but his arms weren’t opening, and neither were his brother’s. Not that he wanted them to, Dave just dreaded not knowing what was actually protocol for the situation, and what was too uncool, or to weird, or when irony stopped. An awkward silence permeated the air for a few seconds to long, when Dirk broke it.

“You’re welcome. Anyway,  I have some shit to do now. Congratulations on finishing the year, and not failing and dropping out. Enjoy the… yeah. Or don’t, if you’re not up to it. Right. See you.” Dirk said, and Dave nodded uneasily, and his brother flash stepped away. The blonde walked downstairs, and picked up the apple John had given him. Maybe it was time for a change. He put the apple down, and walked up to his room quickly, already feeling the cool temperature of his current sunglasses in his hands, and itching to make a decision.

Dave arrived in his room, where his brother placed both the i-shades and the hoverboard on his bed. He held his old pair of glasses in his hands. Red eyes scanned the tinted glass below him, and looked back and forth between that pair, and the other. With a sigh, Dave decided. He took the pair of glasses John gave him all those years ago off, and placed them on his shelf. The blonde smirked as he now held the new sunglasses in his hands. He was ready to take his hover board out for a ride.

_______________-

Karkat had a lot of questions, and a lot of worries too. He wasn’t sure what he’d do with the information he’d accidentally learned over the course of a night. Firstly, John could apparently make tornadoes, or do something with wind. The vampire hadn’t ever detected anything other than human in his friend’s blood signature, so the idea that he could do this now was surprising to say the least. John now knew about his blood issue too, or at least some of it. How had he managed to lose control like that?

Somehow, admist the looming full moon and his anger at John, a final attempt to talk sense into John, and/or cut off his friendship turned into a too revealing fight. Karkat couldn’t remember much of what happened between the time the fight started and when John was dry heaving on the ground, but he did remember that he’d started it. The notion wasn’t a good one, for him. He didn’t know when he decided to punch John, or how it led to his blood activating his rage.

Speaking of that, the cut was gone now, as usual. It meant one less thing to explain to his parents when he returned home, which was nice. When his parents asked about his whereabouts, he told them that he’d been invited to a party, but left after things got bad. Which was all true, but Karkat left when things got bad more than two hours ago. His mother praised him for his judgment, and his father congratulated him on the end of his schooling. Karkat eventually just went to bed.

When he woke up the next morning, Karkat fell out of bed in nothing but his boxers. The summer was already getting off to a comfortable start.

“Aww, I was hoping they’d have something embarrassing on them.” A voice said, and Karkat literally jumped from how startled he was. Dave and Vriska stood in his room, and both shared a cynical sort of amusement at his situation. Karkat closed his eyes for a second, then opened them again.

“Peek – a- boo!” Vriska announced, and it took three seconds for Karkat to scream. Almost instantly, Vriska slapped a hand over his mouth.

“Karkat.” She said calmly, and threateningly. “Do me a favor and can it, huh?” Karkat struggled to rip her hand off him. Karkat grew considerately more violent, and Vriska’s head whipped around in irritation. Before she could say anything, Dave let out a long, drawn out sigh, and disappeared. The two wrestled to the floor for seconds more when Vriska suddenly jumped off him. Confused, Karkat tried to stand, and he blinked once. The second his eyes opened, he had a straight jacket around his arms, along with some wird contraption that tied his feet together. He immediately fell off balance, and Vriska tackled him down, with a hand over his mouth again.

Naturally, Karkat struggled. She held him steadily though, and Karkat’s expression turned severe. Dave appeared again, and raised an eyebrow at him.

“You done?” Dave questioned, and Karkat glared. He most certainly was not done, and he managed to get his mouth free from Vriska for a second.

“Fucking get me out, or I’ll scream right now!” Karkat said, and Vriska only smirked in response. She covered him with her hands again, and sat atop him.

“You won’t do that.” She said quietly. Karkat’s glare seemed to say otherwise, and he continued to struggle, even in her firm grip. The girl bent over him, then and moved her mouth over his ear, and whispered. “Unless… you’d rather your parents catch you half naked in your room with a girl at nine in the morning, which would obviously meant that I slept over, if you catch my drift. I don’t care what happens to me.” She said, her voice dripping to dangerous levels of sadism. Dave put his hands out.

“Look Karkat, I’ll get you out, we just need to talk.” He said, and Karkat glared. He realized exactly what position he was in now, and it wasn’t a great one. As Karkat ran through his options, the boy realized he didn’t have many, and slowly nodded in defeat. Vriska cautiously removed her hand, and when he made no struggle, she helped him to his feet, then stepped away. Dave disappeared, and before Karkat could process what was happening, the jacket came off.  Karkat blinked at his newfound freedom, then realized exactly how free he was. Meaning, he only sat in his boxers.

The vampire made a quick grab to cover himself with his blanket, but Vriska waved her hand towards him, dismissively.

“No need to cover up, Karkat. I’ve seen it all before.”She said, and Karkat glared poison at her.  He still covered himself with the sheets anway, but Dave snorted.

“Seriously?” He asked, and Vriska shook her head.

“It was a phase.” She responded, and carefully gave him a once over. “A bad one.” She added, and Dave laughed at that, until Karkat cleared his throat. They looked at him.

“If you don’t mind that I interrupt, can I ask how in the ever loving shitshtain frog swallowing cosmos you two ended up in my gobdamn bedroom in the fucking morning? I don’t know who the hell let you in here, or why in fuck you thought it was okay to do this absolute bullshit, but I will deliver the dark package of awareness to you from the skaia gods, because, surprise fuckwits, It sure as hell is not fucking okay!” He whisper shouted, and Dave spoke at a significantly lower volume, but returned his words with as much vigor as one would expect.

“Did anyone tell you it was okay to punch John last night?” Dave questioned, his arms crossed. Karkat’s eyes widened, and his resolve faded a little. He clung the sheet around his body more, and winced.

“That was-”

“You did it before you started bleeding. Funny, I thought you were still in control before it started.” Vriska interrupted, and Karkat looked at them with unease evident on his face.

“What are you doing here?” Karkat asked, his expression growing serious.

“Well, that was a change in tone. Nice. We’re here to talk to you.” Vriska said, and Karkat put a hand on the bed behind him.

“How did you get in here then?” He asked, and Dave smirked.

“Time-Teleported.” He said, and Karkat frowned, looking between Dave and Vriska. They time- teleported? How could they have- and suddenly, he understood. His eyebrows fell, and Karkat’s expression turned hostile.

“Vague asshole Dave.” He made it sound threatening, even though he wore little more than a pair of boxers and a sheet. Vriska and Dave had to award him credit for that, but it didn’t deter either one. “Why the hell did you come here?” Karkat asked, and Dave rolled his eyes.

“You didn’t hear her? Damn Vantas, we’re just here to talk.” Karkat’s hands  balled into fists. He took a deep breath.

“Well, I sure as hell don’t want to listen. You fucked up so much shit. I don’t know what the hell your problem is, or why the fucking she devil is here too, but I sure as hell don’t care. If you could kindly take the bullet train out of my fucking bedroom and everyone’s lives I’d definitely be fucking appreciative, because in case your dumbass shades obscured your eyes too much for you to fucking see or you just honestly don’t give a shit, I’ll repeat myself. The second you came in, everything got fucked over to hell. I don’t know what you were doing with John, but go back to wherever the hell you came from, and leave this Dave out of your bullshit! I’m not that fucking certain what exactly you are, but you screwed the fuck up out of this Dave and John’s friendship, and frankly, I’m not a fucking fan of nook lickers who do that, IE: bitch queen over here, so get the gobdamn fuck out and don’t come back!” He whisper- shouted again, and Dave tsked.

“Well, then we have a really tough situation here, Karkat. Because, sorry to say that, but we can’t.” Karkat stepped back, and Dave continued. “So here’s the fucking grandiose layout about the shit that’s going down. You’re going to sit the fuck down, and we’re going to fucking talk, and you sure as hell are going to listen, got it?” He asked, and Karkat glared at the blonde.

“I…” He paused for a moment, unsure of how he’d answer. Karkat’s eyes flickered to Vriska’s face. She didn’t seem like she’d lunge at him yet. At least, she’d give him a lengthy, sing songy monologue first. “Fine. What?” He asked, hautily. In truth, he did want to know what was going on. Dave nodded.

“Good. Then, I guess we should start. Now, Karkat-” They were interrupted by a long groan from Vriska, and Dave looked at her defensively. “What?”

“Dave. I can tell when you’re going to be long winded, and neither of us have time for that, really.” Dave smirked.

“Well, actually-” Vriska gave him a cold stare. Dave looked like he wanted to say something, but the pun died in his throat. “….actually do you want to explain it instead?” He asked her, and she smirked.

“Better. And, yes.” Dave made a wide gesture.

“The floor is yours, spiderbitch.” Vriska looked at him, slightly irritated, but spoke anyway. Karkat watched the interaction with rousing interest. Their actions could have been some time changing issue or something, but both acted significantly different together than they did when separate. Of course, Vriska was as bossy as usual, but to see Dave not pursue anything and just hand over the speaking role was a surprise. Then, at the casual use of the term ‘spiderbitch’, somehow, Vriska didn’t pursue the boldfaced insult.

It was weird, to say the least, and Karkat watched Vriska’s mouth move, wondering about their dynamic. Vriska seemed to be fairly in sync with Dave’s time travelling, and both managed to look impeccably threatening when together. Karkat remembered the thrill of fear that washed through him when Vriska smirked, and then the random, unrelenting confinement he faced afterwards with the appearance of the straight jacket. That had to be this vague asshole Dave’s work, right?  

Plus, Karkat wondered about their relationship. It seemed vastly different between the Dave that Karkat knew, and Vriska’s. In fact, he wondered if this was a vague asshole Vriska he was talking to now. She looked like the Vriska he unfortunately knew, but so did Dave. But if Dave was the only vague asshole here, how could she have gotten in on the situation? And more importantly, how did she know Dave? Karkat knew that the normal Dave didn’t know Vriska, at all. That was a good thing too, he knew. Still, the idea consumed him for a while.

“Got it?” Vriska’s voice sounded, snapping him out of his thoughts. Had he just… he missed everything she said, damn. Karkat had to start paying attention more. The romance theories he had weren’t good for anyone’s sanity.  Karkat knew he had a choice now. He could have been honest, and admitted that he zoned out completely. But that would have been as embarrassing as it got, and Karkat was already pretty low on the pride meter, since he was sitting there in his underwear. So, he’d probably regret the decision, but he employed his acting skills, and crossed his arms.

“Yeah, fine. I understand all of your bullshit, can you take the magic gateway out of my fucking bedroom?” Karkat asked, and Vriska and Dave exchanged glances, but they believed him.

“Sure. And get control of that blood thing.” Dave said, and looked towards Vriska. “Anyway, you ready?”

“Yeah, let’s get out. And Karkat, sleep with more clothes on. You never know when someone could pop in.” She said, and Karkat’s looked embarrassed.

“Fuck you!” Dave and Vriska laughed, then disappeared. Karkat let out the breath he’d been holding. He hoped he hadn’t just made a mistake. He remembered bits and fragments of their conversation, involving someone getting hurt, John, and- John. This could have been the key to why he’d been acting so weird! The vampire looked at the spot where Dave and Vriska disappeared, and sighed. Whatever they said didn’t matter. He’d have to tell Dave about his new discovery with John, even if it meant… well, even if it meant revealing the powers he’d kept secret for ages, and dealing with the backlash.

When he was finally ready for the day, Karkat texted Dave. He hoped that the blonde would respond soon, but kind of dreaded it too. Apparently, the universe decided to make him wait, because after numerous calls, texts, and numerous voicemails, Dave didn’t respond. Karkat wondered what he did that grabbed his attention so thoroughly. Of course, he had no way of knowing until late that night, or technically the next day. Dave texted him back nonchalantly, asserting that he was ‘doing stuff’, and Karkat realized that it didn’t matter. He realized that it was too late to talk, but made Dave promise to text back the next summer morning, under the premise that it was important. Dave agreed, Karkat wished him a good night, and the two vampires eventually fell to sleep.

____---------

AN: AAAAND CUT!

I don’t know if this was actually ooc for Karkat, because he has ignored and zoned out on important stuff in canon, but oh well. It seemed weird, but it was high key necessary for the plot so… meh.

JAFNF Chapter 130

_____________--

(Friday, May 29)

Dave finally showed up at Karkat’s door around ten the next morning. The boy started to make frequent use of his new hoverboard, especially after yesterday. Racing Jade had been fun, and Dave liked that he didn’t have to use his legs as much as a normal skateboard, just lean. The hoverboard had all of a normal skateboard’s functionality, along with twice the speed, if he willed it. In all, it was probably the coolest thing he owned. The boy rode up to the front steps, then turned the board off and picked it up as he rang the doorbell.

Karkat threw open the door in an instant, and looked at Dave.

“Come in, hurry, let’s go. I tried to talk to you all day yesterday, asshole, so hurry the fuck up!” With that pleasant greeting, Karkat stepped out of the way and dragged Dave up to his room. The second Dave was seated, Karkat closed his own room door, and wanted to speak, but paused. He looked at Dave’s face closely. “Did you get a haircut or something?” The vampire asked, and put a hand on his chin. “No, not that.” Dave frowned.

“You know Karkat, you seemed pretty fucking urgent a second ago. Mind telling me what your gigantic problem is?” He asked, and Karkat’s eyes narrowed, but he jumped off the subject.

“Sure, Yeah. I’m pretty sure we have a problem, and it’s John.” Karkat said, and Dave raised an eyebrow.

“I’m pretty sure I already knew that. He’s sent us a social, ‘bye don’t talk to me’ for the past few weeks now, it’s a little difficult to still be worried about it now.” Dave said nonchalantly, silently praising himself for how his breath didn’t catch this time when Karkat brought up John. “And by a little difficult, I mean I don’t give a fuck.” Karkat looked genuinely surprised by the words.

“What? What do you mean, you don’t give a fuck?” Karkat asked, and Dave shook his head.

“Look, man. If John doesn’t care enough to tell us what’s going on, why the hell should I care what the reason is? If he wants to talk, we’ll talk, but as far as I’m concerned, I already made the first step. And like, twenty steps after that. My duty here is done, and it’s up to him to fix things if he wants. If John doesn’t want to fix shit, I won’t keep trying either.” Dave said, and Karkat’s face turned serious, and questioning.

“I… thought you-”

“Karkat, it’s not like it was actually going to work anyway, I may as well take this opportunity to get over it.” Dave said, his arms crossed. The vampire across from him looked at Dave disbelievingly.

“So, you’re just- what, dropping him? Just like that?” Karkat questioned, and Dave shrugged.

“Yeah. Pretty much, I can’t stay hung up on John forever. People go through phases, you know that.” Dave looked to the side. “Things change.” He added, and Karkat squinted at his face. What he was searching for, Dave didn’t know, but through his not-entirely- a- mask of nonchalance, he didn’t think Karkat would find it.

“Your sunglasses.” Karkat said, looking at the items on his face. “That’s what’s different.” Dave smirked.

“Yeah, Bro gave me a new pair, they’re slick as hell. They’re ishades too, so they control my bomb ass hoverboard. Cool, right?” Dave asked, and Karkat frowned.

“Dave… you’re still upset.” Karkat realized, and Dave frowned.

“Not really, no. Just done.” He said, and Karkat knew he believed what he was saying, but shook his head. A hit of a smile played on the shorter vampire’s lips.

“You’re not over him.” He said. Dave raised an eyebrow.

“What gives you that impression? As far as I’m concerned, Egbert can do what he wants.” Dave said, and Karkat looked at him.

“Really? And you wouldn’t care either way?” Dave nodded.

“Uh, yeah, pretty much. You really shouldn’t care either, he blew you off too.” Dave said, and Karkat hid a smile. He made his shoulders relax, and forced his posture to be less worried.

“Good.  Well, that makes this fucking conversation a sweep easier.” Dave raised an eyebrow, and frowned, because he felt a little off guard. He’d expected an argument of some sort, possibly with Karkat trying to convince him of his feelings. But Dave was over it. And it seemed like Karkat, their biggest supporter, wouldn’t fight him on being over it. The blonde vampire relaxed a little. That definitely relieved a little tension. Still, Dave answered cautiously, and curiously.

“What conversation?” He asked, and Karkat sighed.

“I was pissed Thursday morning, just past twelve am. You know, on your broiversary, or whatever.” Karkat said, and Dave waited for him to continue. “And I was out late, when I saw a familiar blood signature head out, so I decided to check it out. This may surprise you, but it was John.  He apparently went near your house for a second, then got the hell out of there, and started walking towards his home away from school. So, I met him in the alleyway, when Caliborn and I used to meet him.” Karkat added, and Dave raised an eyebrow, uncrossing his arms.

“Okay? What happened?” Dave asked curiously, and Karkat responded flippiantly.

“Oh, I confronted him, he spilled out some bullshit. He said we all matter to him, that you’re, and I quote, everything to him. That he misses us. Even though he could literally talk to us whenever. Total hoofbeast manure right?” Karkat asked, and Dave’s expression grew stormy for a second, before he snapped it back into control.

“Yeah. No idea why he said that. He could fucking talk to me if he wanted to, nothing’s stopping him.” Dave said, and it was true. He felt himself getting angry, before he calmed himself down. He didn’t care anymore. Dave realized that he was gripping the chair, and immediately loosened his hands. He looked at Karkat’s face carefully, trying to detect if the boy had noticed it. Karkat’s genuinely pissed, if not slightly disbelieving and disgusted face revealed nothing, and Dave decided that he hadn’t seen anything. He was talking with the same tone that he used lately when he talked about John. He was probably complaining, again.

“Exactly, right! John’s such an ass- I’m so fucking done! So, I beat the physical shit out of him.” Dave’s reaction was immediate. His eyes widened in shock, and anger. The blonde leaned forward immediately.

“What the fuck?” He asked, and Karkat forced a little laugh.

“Yeah, That selfish douchemuffin deserved it! He should have been out, trying to fix things with either of us, and especially you! We gave him chances, he didn’t take them. Don’t worry though, I don’t want to interact with that piece of shit again. Still, he deserved worse than a punch to the face and being thrown at a wall, right?” Karkat asked, and Dave looked at him dangerously behind his glasses.

“Hell no! You can’t just hurt him!” Dave shouted, and Karkat crossed his arms.

“I don’t see why not. He sure as hell hurt us. And he’s used to it, Caliborn’s done worse to him. In fact, Strider, you should do it too. After all, you deserve some fucking revenge more than anyone else.” Karkat said, and Dave glared.

“That doesn’t mean you have the right to do that!” Karkat rolled his eyes.

“Oh, for fuck’s sake Dave, it’s not a big deal. Hell, I thought you’d be supportive. Maybe you had to be there though, but trust me. If you were in my position, you’d do it too, and actually give him what he deserves.” Karkat said, and Dave stood immediately, his voice turning threatening.

“Karkat, listen the fuck up. You’re not allowed to hurt him.” Dave’s face inched near Karkat’s. “If you ever fucking touch him again, I will end you, Vantas. You are not allowed to lay a gobdamn finger on John, and if you do, I’ll sure as hell do ten times worse back, and I don’t give a shit about the fucking consequences.” Karkat raised a confident eyebrow at him.

“I’m pretty sure you’d get expelled, or arrested.”

“I don’t fucking care, he’s not getting hurt as long as I’m here. Am I fucking clear?” Dave asked, and Karkat smirked.

“Pissed. Super pissed, actually. Hm- Guilty. Definitely protective. Determined, serious. And more than anything, Worried. How sweet.” Karkat said, and Dave looked at him in confusion.

“…what?” He asked, and Karkat casually pushed Dave’s chest away from his own.

“Everything you’re feeling, right now. I can read it clearly in your signature. Dave, be honest with yourself. You’re hurt. You’re angry. But you’re sure as hell not over him. Tell me, would you honestly be willing to go to jail, or get arrested for anyone else that hurt you that much? Because it’s pretty clear that you care.” Dave frowned.

“This… isn’t about that. You can’t just punch people, John or otherwise!” Karkat looked at him urgently.

“It’s all about that! You would never have said what you just said about anyone you don’t care about, or love. You definitely wouldn’t say it about me!” Karkat said, and Dave’s eyebrows raised.

“Is this- was this whole thing a setup, to make me admit my feelings?” Dave asked, and Karkat looked at him.

“Kind of. I’m a pretty good actor. So, will you admit to yourself that you still care about him?” Karkat asked, and Dave sighed, but nodded.

“Sure, yeah. Whatever. I’m still not fucking happy though. So tell me then, did you really punch John?” Dave asked, and Karkat sighed. It would have been easy to lie but… no, he should have been honest.

“Yes.” Karkat said. “But I didn’t quote unquote beat the shit out of him. I’m sorry about that though… I lost control. I won’t do that again.” He said, looking down. “I should have been more careful with myself. I couldn’t snap out of it until he started crying.”

“Snap out of what?” Karkat’s head went upwards immediately. “Dude, snap out of what? You made him cry? People don’t accidentally punch people.” Karkat rubbed his arm.

“I… I’ll explain it some other time. But I wasn’t, uh, completely in my right mind when I started attacking John. I mean, I punched him on purpose, but everything after he kicked me off wasn’t me. And I think it was something different that made him cry, but I got close to hurting him. He was trying to get me to calm down, I think. Reguardless, I think this thing with John is a lot more complicated than him just ignoring us.” Dave’s mouth fell into a frown again.

“Is… he okay?” Dave asked, and Karkat sighed.

“No fucking idea, he left as soon as shit stopped being insane.” Karkat said, and Dave had a hand over his head. He didn’t want to deal with this.

“I don’t want to deal with him until he talks to me.” Dave said, and Karkat looked at him questioningly. “Even if I, uh, care about him.” Dave said, and amended his words. “Unless something is making John not… you know, talk to us, then I don’t want to.” Dave said, and Karkat raised his eyebrows.

“Dave. I know that he’s still not talking to us, but something bigger than that is going on. That much, at least, is pretty obvious now. I know I was screaming about never talking to him again last week, but this is different. I think… we have to force him to tell us what’s going on, for his own good.” Karkat said, but Dave shook his head.

“Karkat, I don’t want to. I’m worried now, even more than before, but he doesn’t want us to come to him. I don’t think we should.” Karkat looked at him.

“But, don’t you want what’s best for him?” Karkat asked, and Dave looked at him.

“I want him to come to me. I already tried coming to him.” Dave said, and Karkat looked at the blonde seriously.

“Look, I know. But we already tried, and it didn’t work. You’re still his best friend. You should still be there for him- even if he doesn’t want it. Until he can actually tell you why he’s being so distant, we have to go after him. Even if he’s just breaking off from everyone for no reason, we deserve an explaination.” Karkat said, and Dave thought about his words. He remembered, how he’d promised Roxy that he’d always be there for John, and sighed.

“Just this time. Today. After we see him, I’m not going back.” Dave said, and Karkat contemplated the words, but nodded.

“Fine. That works. Then, are you ready to go?” Dave felt like he’d regret his actions, especially when he felt a disgusting sliver of hope rise inside him, that maybe he could fix things  and get John back. Well, this was their last chance.

“Let’s go.”

__________----

It was Friday morning when John remembered that he didn’t know how he was going to find Caliborn. His senses tingled with nervousness, and John had to tell himself multiple times that morning that he was going to endure what Caliborn did, and he would live. John shuddered, and tried not to think of what would happen to him. And where would he go? John considered a lot of options. The most prevalent was the Medieval Torture dungeon from the princess bride, but John wasn’t sure. Would he- oh no, would he be in public? John scratched the idea immediately, someone would find out and tell his friends and family.

John made his way downstairs instead. He may as well say good morning to his father before he figured out what would happen to him anyway. As John went downstairs to find a lovely breakfast before him, the boy ate, and greeted his father on his way out to work. John found himself lying. He told his father that he planned to see some friends today, and that he’d say hello to Roxy when she ultimately visited.  He promised he’d have fun, which was a complete lie, and watched his father leave.

John sighed as he heard the garage door close. Well, at least he’d see his mother today. And he was doing this for a good cause, since Caliborn would take down Crockercorp for him. He wondered when Caliborn was supposed to show up anyway. Maybe he’d knock on the door? Or he’d-

And suddenly, John was somewhere else. The transportation felt different than when he’d teleported away with Dave’s abilities, so he knew it wasn’t that. So what was it? John’s head craned. He stood in a room, and all he could think was that it was green. When he looked at the design more carefully, he found a large green clock, and an eloquent set of furniture to his side. John felt like this was what an old timey grandparent’s home would look like, but he lacked a way to check. He turned and found an equally green sofa, and a coffee table in front of it. On top, he saw- eww, licorice? This had to be an elderly person’s home, right?

Surprisingly, the smell of baking permeated the atmosphere as well. John couldn’t tell if it was cookies or cake, but the smell was deceptively delightful. John looked around some more. Where was he?

“Please, sit down.” A chill rolled down John’s spine as he heard the voice, and his legs seemed to move of their own accord. John had to stop himself from wimpering in terror. He quickly sat down, and took a deep breath. It was him- but John already knew who it would be. He could do this. John heard the wooden leg first, and a gigantic frame appeared in the doorway. Caliborn. “My apologies for the wait, I was with my new maid. But, that’s not your concern. You know why you’re here, yes?” Caliborn asked, and John nodded. He raised an eyebrow, ad seemed to admonish him. “John, you’re a gentleman. I’ve studied and mingled in enough human culture to know- it’s polite to speak when spoken to, especially in a business arrangement such as ours.” He said, and John answered quickly.

“Sorry. Yes, I-I know why I’m here.”  John said, trying not to sound scared. Caliborn nodded, satisfied.

“Good. Now, I’d like to indulge in a little housekeeping before we begin, if you will. First, I request that you address me as Lord English. I’ve taken a liking to distinguishing myself from… my old self. I’ve matured, and my name should reflect that.” He said, and John looked confused at the name, but it seemed easy enough to comply.

“Okay. I mean, no problem, Lord English.” John said. He was a little curious at the choice, but didn’t question it. Caliborn smiled at the words.

“Good. Secondly, I must know. Are there any things that I cannot do?” John squinted a little at him.

“Aren’t you going to torture me?” John asked, then clarified. “I mean, I really don’t know what else you could do.” He said, and Caliborn nodded.

“John, I’m well aware of the nefarity of our arrangement. But even if your mother is here to heal you, I’m just as aware that some things may be too much for you. You’re a sprite- far less vulnerable than your mother, I’ll admit, but just as delicate. I will torture you, but I have no intention to break you. You are far too precious, John.” He said, and John swallowed at the words.  Still, he didn’t understand what Cal-Lord English was asking. His confusion must have been clear, because the cherub sighed. “I’ll give you an example, if you can’t think of anything worse than torture. Say… hm, rape. Are you alright with that?” He asked, and John looked horrified.

“No! Oh, please don’t…” His words trailed off, and John considered teleporting away. He cared about his family and friends endlessly, but that… that was different. Completely different. Lord English seemed slightly amused.

“John, I had no intention to do that, believe me. In fact, I’m certain the process alone would kill you, not to mention the complete devastation of the house. Regardless, I just needed an example.” John’s shoulders fell a little.

“Oh, okay. Then, none of that. Uh, no stretching, please. No decaying. And, no slow burning, I saw silent hill and… yeah. Please don’t tear off my body parts. Just, no medieval torture.” John said, and Caliborn raised an eyebrow at him.

“Why do you know all of these methods?” John suddered.

“I… um, looked up medevial torture beforehand, because I was nervous about this.” Caliborn nodded.

“Well, it’s nice to know that you’re prepared. I can’t indulge you in some of these, I’ll have to do the guillotine at least once. Anyway, would you like to get started? I’m sure we can go through the list later, what I have planned is rather tame.” Lord English’s lips curled into a twisted smile, and John looked up at him.

“Oh, one thing first! Is there a limit?” He asked, and the cherub responded affirmatively.

“Yes. Once I get my fill of enjoyment, I’ll stop. Whether it takes hours or minutes is for you to decide. Are you ready?” He asked, and John felt fear bounce through his heart, but he nodded, then croaked out an answer.

“Yes.” He wished it sounded more assured, or less scared. English licked his lips, already feeding off his nervousness.

“Then, let’s eat.”

_____________-

By the time their session ended, John was a ragged heap that collapsed on English, trembling as he let him down. The cherub’s red eyes were bright with nourishment, and his definitively red cheeks seemed to glow. Wordlessly, Caliborn snapped, and an unresponsive John was in Jane’s room. Jane sprung up as soon as he landed on the bed. In an instant, she healed his (surprisingly minimal) physical injuries, and held him as he shook in her arms. John latched onto his mother, and tears pricked the woman’s eyes. They stayed like that for a few minutes, until John sat up. He still hugged his mother, and the woman looked at him. Worry was etched into her face, and John gave her a shaky smile.

“Hey, Mom.” He said, and despite the situation, a pained smile fell on Jane’s face as well.

“Hello, John.” She said, and they looked at each other. “Are you…” She didn’t know what word fit the situation, but John grinned.

“Better now!” He said truthfully, excited that the woman was there. Jane’s small smile widened as well.

“Me too. It’s… been ages.” She said, looking wistfully at the boy.

“I missed you.” John said, and Jane smiled sadly.

“I wish I could have been here.” The woman pulled away. “I’m sure I watched over you, but I wasn’t allowed to retain any memories after my death. Look at how big you’ve gotten! How old are you?” She asked, and John smiled.

“Seventeen! I just finished eleventh grade.”  John said, and Jane gaped at him in surprise.

“Seventeen? Cheese and Crackers, I’m only twenty five! That’s… hoo boy, that’s a surprise.” She said, and John’s face looked the same.

“Wow, mom.” John said, and Jane gave him a lopsided smile.

“And look at me, talking like I’m some old woman. We could be siblings. Cousins, maybe.” She said, and John nodded.

“Weird.” Jane smiled.

“Well, enough about that. We ought to catch up. Tell me about yourself- I’m sure you’ve changed from when you were a little boy.” John thought about it.

“Well, I like pranks. And magic, and jokes! Uh, I don’t like Betty Crocker cakes, but I do make good apple pie. I have a salamander consort named Casey, and I think I’m pretty smart in school, maybe?” John said, and Jane smiled.

“You don’t know?” She asked, and John shrugged.

“I mean, I just have a lot of time to study. For a while, all I really did was- Oh yeah! I play the piano and I’m a hunter too! The not human kind.” John added, and Jane’s eyes widened.

“What?” She asked, and John nodded.

“Yeah, dad started teaching me how to play when I was like five, and from there-”

“No, I mean, you’re a hunter?” She asked, and quickly recovered. “Not to dismiss your piano playing. I suppose I’m just… by jiminy, when did that start?” She asked him, and John put a hand on his neck.

“Oh, that’s more recent. I got kidnapped, because Mr. English thought one of my friends was trying to suck my blood, and then we had to hunt after him, but it turned out that it was just a big misunderstanding.”  John said, and Jane raised her eyebrows.

“You mean, Lord English?” John shook his head, smiling.

“No, I mean Mr. English. My biology teacher. Jake English.” John said, and Jane’s breath caught in her throat.

“…Jake?” She asked, disbelieving. “How… why did he get into the hunting business?” Her voice was serious now, and John put an arm around his neck.

“After you died, he did some investigating, and found out a werewolf killed you. Since then…” John trailed off. Jane’s breath hitched in her throat.

“Does he know about Betty Crocker?” She asked, and John shook his head.

“No. Neither does Roxy- that’s the whole reason why I’m doing all of this.” A sound came from Jane’s mouth.

“Roxy. She’s a hunter too?” John nodded.

“She’s the one that kidnapped me. With Jake and her little sister’s help. They’re good at that.” John said, and Jane looked at him carefully.

“How is she?” the woman asked, and John smiled.

“Just as cool as ever. I like her, a lot.” John said, and smiled. “She’s like the cool aunt I never had.” He added, and Jane smiled.

“Is she? That’s wonderful to hear. How’s your father?” She asked, and John smiled.

“Great! He just got a promotion.” Jane raised an eyebrow.

“Promotion? Does he not work at the family business anymore?” She asked, and John frowned.

“I think he’s doing something else, or something. He said he was expanding so, not really a promotion.” John said, and Jane nodded.

“Wow, he’s been successful! Has he… met anyone new? It’s been years.” Jane said, and John looked at her, embarrassment written on his features.

“Uh… yeah. About that.” John said, and Jane urged him to continue. “I think he’s dating Roxy.” He said, and Jane’s eyebrows shot up.

“No way. Now I know that’s a load of baloney, but good try though. You can’t pull one over on your mom that easy.” John looked at her nervously.

“Nope. They started dating this year.” John said, and Jane looked at him.

“I’ll believe it when I see it. Those two wanted nothing to do with each other back in school! But I guess they civiled out afterwards- still, dating?” Jane asked, and she shook her head. “Not possible.”

“No, they did.” John assured, and Jane looked past him.

“Times sure changed.” She added, and John nodded.

“They did. Roxy helped dad get over you a little, I think.” Jane looked at him.

“He wasn’t over me? I’ve been dead for years now!” She said, and John sighed.

“Yeah. After you died, we got distant, to the point where we didn’t talk at all for a few years. Things were pretty bad. I think it hurt him to look at me.” John admitted quietly. “But its better now! Roxy helped him out, and threatened him I think?” John said, and Jane’s face turned stormy.

“He didn’t… you two didn’t speak?”

“He always wrote a note and made a cake on my birthday, but I don’t really like cake. That was pretty much it, for a few years.” John said, and Jane sighed.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t realize that he would do that- I thought he would be there for you. You practically grew up without any parents.” Jane said sadly, and John shrugged.

“I was okay. And things are better now with dad! Roxy helped a lot.” John said, and Jane sighed.

“Still. That’s far from right. Then again, I suppose that I can’t change it now, so tell me more about yourself. Or your hunting, or your friends. I want to hear everything.” She said, and John shrugged.

“There’s not much! Oh, but Mr. English’s neice, Jade, is my friend! She’s a werewolf too.” John said, and Jane’s eyebrows lifted.

“How many non humans do you know?” She asked, and John thought about it.

“Well, there’s Dave, Karkat, Kanaya, Ms. Dolorosa, uh, Latula, Jade, and Tavros. I think that’s most of them. It’s kind of hard to remember who’s human and who’s not, since I don’t really focus on it.” John said, and Jane looked surprised.

“Wow, John. You have quite the circle of super naturals. Tell me, when did you learn that you weren’t human?” She asked, and John thought about it.

“A couple of weeks ago. I was talking to Feferi, and-”

“Ah, Applesauce! Is there anyone of my friends you don’t know?” Jane exclaimed, and John laughed.

“I wouldn’t know, right?” John asked, and Jane smiled.

“That’s true. I bet they’ve all changed so much!” Jane said, and looked down at John. “And you changed too, but you’re still so cute. I’m sorry I missed all of this- you’re seventeen, John.” Her voice was amazed, and she looked down at her son. “We really do look alike.” She added, and John smiled a little.

“Yeah. I see your portrait a lot, mom. It’s really nice to see you alive now.” John said, and looked around the woman’s room. “So, what do you do now?” Jane sighed.

“Well, staying here doesn’t exactly bring me a lot of activities, but I try to keep myself busy. I spend a lot of time learning what I missed out on, and I bake sometimes. Lord English is evil.” She seemed to pause, like that wasn’t the end of her thought. “But, he is an excellent host. He always makes sure there’s someone for me to talk to, or something for me to do, and gives me access to his kitchen. It’s strange, being confined to a place like this, but since I know that he’s stopping Crockercorp, I understand that I need to stay.” Jane said. John frowned.

“Isn’t there something we can do? There has to be a way you can go outside again.” John said, and Jane put a hand on her chin.

“Perhaps, with his accompaniment. But I can’t go see your father, or Roxy or Jake. You haven’t told them, right?” Jane asked, and John shook his head.

“No. Keeping all of these secrets is really hard.” John said, and Jane sighed.

“Don’t worry, I know. I was just older than you when my mission to take out Crockercorp started, but I never wanted anyone to get involved with this. Least of all you. And now, you’re… well, John, you were a hundred times braver than me, I’ll say.” Jane said, and John’s eyes widened in surprise.

“What?”

“You’re being tortured to fuel an entity that feeds on misery to stop world domination.” Jane said, and shook her head. “Believe it or not, taking down Crockercorp was more of a cowardly life choice for me than you’d think, John. I could have been doing better things with my talents, but I was too busy living in fear.  I should have been out there curing aids, not baking away in my quiet little home because I was too scared that I’d get kidnapped. You’re so brave- so much braver than me.” Jane said, looking down. John looked completely flabbergasted by her words.

“But… but you went undercover into an organization that was kidnapping and engineering and torturing people, even though you could have died. You kept your whole life secret from everyone, and you were going to take them down all on your own. You resurrected Feferi even though there was so much risk to you. How is that not brave?” John asked, because he really couldn’t understand. Jane shrugged.

“It wasn’t the best option, especially since I didn’t even have the moxy to finish it, and you’re doing it for me. And I couldn’t be more proud.” Jane added, and John gave her a little half smile for her words.

“Thanks, mom.”

The two spent hours catching up after that. When nighttime came far too quickly, Caliborn knocked on Jane’s door and informed her that John needed to leave. After all, John’s dad would still be there, and he didn’t want to make John deal with questions. John looked at the man with fear in his heart, but he nodded. He understood, at least. He gave his mother a tender hug goodbye, and Caliborn made him disappear, then reappear in his room. John lifted his shirt, and found that the (actually, pretty light) scars that had been inflicted on him were gone. He still shuddered at the treatment, but at least he was healed now.  In all, the session had been horrible, but John knew it was more than worth it.

_______________-

AN: Another 11x11 pager! These are actually kind of fun, even though they’re a monster to edit and drain the life out of me. This will end soon, (under 20 chapters, definitely) so bear with me- we’re almost done.) Also, 1920’s slang is really fun, and I know Jane uses that.

Question: What’s your favorite 1920’s slang word? Mine is probably the bee’s knees, but what about you? Leave me a review or comment with the answer!

JAFNF Chapter 131

(Friday, June 26 th )

Weeks passed. John had been doing his daily sessions by day, and hardly interacted with anyone. He’d been on two hunts so far, and only one resulted in the death of the supernatural, while the other resulted in leading a confused, extremely young vampire to Dolorosa, who taught her to control her urges. The first one was directly preying on some older man, and once interrogated, the vampire knew how to control their urges, they’d just been feeding on people anyway. Jake killed that one, while Roxy made sure the person they stalked was okay. John hadn’t spoken to many people. In fact, the heights of his interactions ranged from quick “hellos” to “good mornings” on good days.

The only exception to the rule was John’s mother. He talked with her constantly, and when he wasn’t preparing for twelfth grade or being tortured, he talked to her. Even his interactions with future Dave and Vriska dwindled to nothing, and the last thing they told him was that they were going fishunting, whatever that meant. By the time John’s session ended, John was a bleeding heap on the floor. English teleported John’s mother into the torture chamber this time, and once John was healed, they reappeared back in Jane’s room.

Today, Jane was urgent. While they usually did whatever activities they could within English’s home and got to know each other (they really were like cousins more than mother and son) today, Jane led him into her room with hushed tones of urgency.

“What’s going on?” John asked, and she looked around, trying to gauge some sense of her security in the area. The woman answered, quietly.

“I was exploring his home today. It took a little looking, but I heard him speaking in a room, to someone.” She took a breath. “I don’t think he’s stopping Crockercorp, John.” She said, and John’s eyes widened.

“What? How do you know? We- we had a deal, I-”

“You are aware that easedropping isn’t polite, right Jane?” Caliborn stood forebodingly in the corner of Jane’s room, and surprise set in on both her and John’s faces. “Though I suppose that’s a little hypocritical, coming from me.”

“C-Lord English?” John questioned, and his eyebrows lowered. “Did you break our deal?” John asked, and the cherub smiled cruely at him.

“Ah. John. You were quite nourishing today, thank you.” He said, and John paled. “As for our deal. I’m an honest cherub. I didn’t break any agreements.”

“Then, what about what I heard?” Jane asked, and Caliborn smiled.

“Well, let’s go over our deal. I promised to stop Crockercorp from hurting people, yes?” He asked, and John nodded. “Then, I’m doing that. I’ve found the eleven leaders of the various kidnapping sector of Crockercorp. With some persuasion, I’ve gained their loyalty. Soon, that siren- Betty Crocker? She’ll see who her superior is.” Caliborn said, and smirked. John frowned.

“But how is that stopping them?” John asked, and looked at Jane. Caliborn responded.

“Soon, Crockercorp will go under a new process- the rebranding. They’ll gain a new name, and new leadership. My leadership. Crockercorp will be no more. And therefore, I withhold my end of the bargain.” He said, and John looked at him, wheels turning in his head.

“But- then, do you shut them down?” Caliborn shook his head.

“Oh, no. What kind of businessman shuts down his own estate? No, if anything, we’ll expand. Past this timeline, past this universe, and we’ll continue what Ms. Crocker is doing. We’ll have misery from across the galaxy- and I’m sure that will be enough for me to stop craving you, John.” John gaped at him in horror.

“What? No, that’s- you can’t do that!” John said, and Caliborn smirked.

“You’re right. I didn’t take time to learn how to run a company, and if that Betty siren stays in power, I won’t be upholding my end of the deal. So, Jane- how would you like to be my heiress?” He asked, and Jane’s eyes widened.

“You’re insane. I’d never run any business if you were using it to hurt people.” Jane said, and Caliborn shook his head.

“And you’re mistaken- it wasn’t a choice.” Jane’s expression turned from horrified to dangerous. She looked at him, threateningly.

“Then I’ll run it into the ground- shut down every operation you try to set up.” In response, Lord English rolled his eyes.

“Not the best thought out plan.” He childed, and looked at her. “Reguardless, I have backup for that- I have no problem killing you. You know, if you remove that ring, you’ll die.” Jane looked at him suspiciously. Caliborn went on. “Now, as for you John- well first, I must comment, if you don’t mind.” He said, and John glared.

“I don’t want to hear anything.” English sighed dramatically.

“You two- you should learn when I’m just being polite. I’m speaking freely in my home. With that asserted- I can’t believe you agreed to this!” He said, looking down at him. “Pardon me, but it seemed as if you ignored every red flag in this plan, and disregarded them for the end result. You do realize you’re the only thing holding me back from tearing apart the world, right?” He asked, and John looked up at him.

“What? What do you mean?” He laughed.

“John, why did you think I was so interested in weening myself off you? For now, I can’t tear apart the world. I’m physically inable to kill you- I need you! I’ve imprinted on you as my source. In fact, that’s why I’m so desperate to do all of this with Crockercorp. If I get enough misery, I’m certain it will replace my need for you. It’s not like I want to be tied to you. And these few weeks have only reinforced it.” John frowned.

“Well, your plan doesn’t make sense either.” John said, and Caliborn raised his eyebrows, gesturing for him to continue. “Why did you even go through all of this- bringing my mom back, and torturing me, if you were just trying to disconnect from me? It sounds like you could do this without involving me- so, why?” John asked, and Lord English leaned forward, putting his arms on his knees. He looked at John, adopting a sudden, serious attitude.

“John, and Jane. I’ve decided to be extremely honest with you.” He said, his eyebrows knitting together. He almost looked worried. John adopted his serious tone as well, while Jane only crossed her arms, already skeptical of his words. Lord English sighed. “You ask why I’ve gone through all of this, and worked to include you when- you’re right, I could have easily done it without you. It would have been less troublesome. So of course, you ask why I didn’t. Well- the answer is a simple one.” Caliborm paused, and John waited. He sighed. “It’s because… I still needed you.”  He gauged John’s expression. It came back slightly disbelieving, and he saw John’s eyes pass over his new form. The action pleased him, and Caliborn continued. “Besides the convenience of having an able business manager that’s also emotionally invested in you, I still need you. Your misery gives me power. I know you’re aware that Ms. Betty is a siren. She’s incredibly powerful, and even with my sister’s power added to mine, I didn’t have enough to beat her. But now- now I have you! With the misery you provide, I’m more than capable of killing her, or at least forcing her to step down.” He said, and John paled.

“So- I’ve been helping you take over the world, for all this time?” He asked, and Jane put an arm on her son’s hand. Caliborn shrugged.

“More or less. But, don’t say that like it’s a thing of the past. You’re not done quite yet.” Jane looked appalled.

“You don’t really think he’s going to let you keep feeding off him, right?” Jane asked, and Caliborn spoke up.

“Actually, I do. Firstly, because I’m upholding my end of the deal, and he should too. And secondly,” His face turned malicious. “Well, if you don’t, John, then I’ll kill your mom. Tell anyone else about the arrangement, and they meet the same fate.” Caliborn said, and John was once again horrified. Jane, ever the skeptical one, looked at him fearlessly.

“Baloney. You already said you needed me to run the rebranded Crockercorp.” She said, and Caliborn put a hand up.

“Please. You’re convenient, but replaceable. In fact, I could just let Betty keep running it under me, if so little care is given to our deal, or find someone else. Either way, I have no problem ending your life. I’m strong enough to do that with or without John’s misery. In fact- I may just do it. It’ll certainly add that old grief flavor I missed back to your misery.” Caliborn said, and John’s grip around his mother tightened.

“No. She doesn’t deserve to die again.”

“Well, that’s certainly true. Just as much as the fact that I don’t deserve to be chained to you, but that doesn’t matter. So, if all of that’s clear, I’ll see you for your session tomorrow. And Jane? You’ll finally get some time out of the house. The rebranding begins tonight.” John glared at him.

“I will figure out how to stop you.” He said, and his voice thankfully didn’t shake. Caliborn smirked at him, leaning back on his couch.

“Really, John? You can’t run from this, it’s already happening. But, if you insist on being difficult, I suppose that I’ll have to just raise my standards. You know, I wanted to let you return home, and try to live as normal of a life as you can, until the world is my misery source.” English started, then smirked. “But you know what? I’ve decided against it. You’ve pretty much cut off all ties with your friends anyway, right?” He seemed to be talking through his ideas. Jane looked at John in surprise.

“You what? Why?”

“I couldn’t let them find out about Caliborn.” John said, and Lord English coughed. “Or, Lord English. Yeah.” John said, and Jane sighed.

“I wish I had known- I could have helped you keep it secret and still maintain your friends. I had to.” She said, and John wanted to respond.

“Ahem.” English said, and both John and Jane turned to him. “I was speaking. Anyway, I’ve decided. This will make things so much more convenient for both of us. John, you’ll be staying with me.” He said, and snapped. A full envelope appeared next to him. “Give this to whoever would care about you returning home. It’s a letter to an exclusive biology based, two week summer camp. One that you’ve been wanting to go to since your childhood, and due to you and your father’s turbulent relationship as of this time last year, you applied to get in without his consent. Completely free to your parent, and you’ll be leaving for it Sunday.” Caliborn said, and John looked at him in confusion.

“I didn’t apply for a summer camp.” Confusion arched through his tone, and Lord English was beside himself to explain.

“Exactly, it’s a story. A reason why you’ll be staying here, with me. Two weeks should be more than enough time for me to take over everything, and install Jane as leader of Alternia Co. No questions, and you don’t run the risk of your family or loved ones getting suspicious that you’re gone. Really, it’s easier than you making up a lie of some sort.” John still didn’t understand.

“Alternia Co.?” He echoed, and English sighed.

“It’s just a tentative name for the new company. But you’re missing the point- I’m forcing you to stay with me, and this is a cover story for your loved ones with questions.” Understanding passed over John’s face, and he looked at Lord English with an indescribable mix of terror and horror. He felt like throwing up and bursting into tears at the same time. “And don’t worry! Jane will tell you, I’m an excellent host.”

“You’re a tyrant!” She responded, and Lord English laughed.

“Oh, I’m going to like you. You’ll make a wonderful heiress. And of course, John, if you refuse I’ll kill everyone you care about. I mean, that’s obvious at this point.” He said, and John’s eyes looked vacant.

“No… I don’t want this.” John said, and Caliborn sighed in fake sympathy.

“I know, it’s a bother, being tied to you too. But that will end soon enough. Anyway, here’s your letter, and I’ll expect to see you tomorrow. We’ll make arrangements as we see fit. Any questions?” He asked, and John looked up.

“What happens if I escape from you?” He asked, and Caliborn rolled his eyes.

“I control time and space. You wouldn’t be able to. Plus, I have a timebubble around this place. It means there’s no unwanted time travelers passing through, unless I allow them.” He explained, and looked down at John. Wheels seemed to be turning in the boy’s head, and Caliborn frowned. He didn’t like that, at all. “But, I’ll give you some incentive for good behavior, and no escaping.” The cherub said, and John looked up.

“You can’t seriously think that I’ll make a deal with you now.” John said, and English smirked.

“It’s not a deal- just the carrot to my stick, if you will. If  you don’t escape, and act nicely… I’ll keep your family, loved ones, and friends away from harm. Their lives will remain untouched by whatever I do. There’s no loopholes in this, and it’s pure incentive. You don’t even have to agree- it’s part of this.” He said, and John’s expression grew strained.

“So, If I don’t try to escape from you, my friends won’t get hurt?” John asked, for confirmation, and Lord English nodded. John exchanged a glance with Jane. He seemed questioning, and worried. Their eyes echanged something, and John looked back at Lord English, determined. “I need more than that, to convince me not to try to escape.” John said, and to his surprise, Caliborn leaned forward, in intrest.

“Do you think you’re in a position to make demands?” He asked, and John shrugged.

“It all depends on if you think I am, right? What’s to say that I couldn’t escape you, and bring mom with me too?” John asked, a challenging light in his eyes. Caliborn frowned. He didn’t like it, but…

“Fine, what else could you want?” He asked, and John told him.

“The conditions extend to everyone I care about, know personally, and everyone those people know. First,” John said, holding up the letter. “I get to tell them what’s really going on, without this letter. They deserve to know. Second, in addition to them being unharmed, they’ll be treated well. Like, really really well, and have access to everything they want. They’ll be cared for really, really well, and be able to live whatever life they want, outside of whatever you’re doing.” John said, and Caliborn thought over his words.

“Hm.” Was all he said for a moment, and then he let out a breath. “Fine. I’ll agree to the second condition, but not the first. What I said still stands- if you tell anyone, or offer the slightest hint, they’ll die. But, for those people you know, and mentioned, they’ll be treated as nothing less than nobility, and allowed freedoms.” John frowned at the words, and looked at his mom again. They exchanged another meaningful glance, and John nodded.

“Okay.”Lord English smiled.

“Good. Now, I’m sure that’s all for today. Be sure to break the news tonight, John. It looks like you should be getting back- but wait, there’s more. I’m a generous man, John. Take tomorrow off, in case you need to make arrangements with your family. Now, if that’s all, I’ll be seeing you Sunday.” He snapped, and John opened his mouth to say something back, but he was gone. He sat in his room now, with the envelope in his hand, and held back tears. Casey was back in wind and shade for the weekend, so she didn’t see. But this wasn’t what he wanted! He wasn’t sure if Dave and Vriska knew about this or not, but… but he knew he never wanted this. A tear fell, and a knock sounded on his door at the same time.

“John? Are you home?” A voice asked, and John immediately wiped his face. Roxy stood at the door, and he took a second to make sure his voice was alright. “I don’t think he’s-”

“Hi, Roxy.” John said, and Roxy looked at him in surprise.

“Oh! Hey Johnnycakes, when did you get in? Heck, where did you even go?” She asked, and turned. “He’s here this time, boys.” John looked surprised.

“Is someone here?”

“Thanks, Roxy. Yeah John, where the hell were you this time?” The voice made John’s eyes widen, and he looked at the two aforementioned boys. Dave and Karkat slowly advanced up his stairway, and Dave foleded his arms. The shorter of the two vampires looked determined, while Dave looked surprisingly tired.

“I, um, hung out with Vriska today.” Roxy had a hand on her hip.

“Oh, the  same Vriska you say every time I ask you where you were?” She asked, and Karkat spoke up.

“Yeah, I call bullshit on that. I can tell that you’re lying, it’s in your signature.” John bit his lip, and Dave raised his eyebrows.

“Seriously? You can’t even tell us that now? Karkat, I told you this was a bad idea, man. He obviously doesn’t want to see us. I don’t even care about an explanation at this point- let’s go.” He said. The words put ice in John’s heart, but Karkat spoke up.

“No way, Strider. You promised that we’d get a reason before we just leave. I don’t care what the problem is, John. I have stuff I haven’t shared too. But come on- at least tell us where you were today.” Karkat asked, and John hesitated. Dave shook his head. John quickly saw the situation unreavelling, and knew that they’d eventually get the truth out of him if he didn’t say something now.

“Dude, we can’t fucking force him to do anything. If John thinks we’re dead to him, then I say-”

“I was with mom.” John said, and all three of John’s questioners turned towards him in surprise. Roxy’s gaze changed.

“What?”

“Yeah.” John said, choosing his words carefully. “What I’ve been doing since I said I was with Vriska? I’ve been seeing her- and no, I don’t want to talk about it.” John added, and Roxy’s features softened.

“John…”Dave looked to Karkat.

“Is that true?” He asked, and Karkat swallowed, but nodded.

“Yes.” Karkat said, but his eyes narrowed. “But… there’s more he’s not telling us,” Karkat decided, “and I’m not leaving until you open your gapehole and explain, John.” John crossed his arms.

“I don’t have to tell you anything.” John said, and looked at Roxy. “And I didn’t want to tell any of you that. Just… go, okay?” He asked, but Karkat stood his ground, and even Dave seemed to lose his nonchalance.

“Uh, no.” Dave said, drawing John’s attention. “I’m- I was your best friend for years. You can’t just ignore me, and kick me out of your house, and not tell me what the hell is going on without an explaination. That’s not fair. So, tell me at least, what’s going on. I know what you gave me.” He said, his voice quiet. “That… That has to mean something, right?” Dave asked, his voice getting desperate. Despite how he’d practiced, how he perfected, he couldn’t stop the quiver in his voice. “I had to mean something to you.” John sent a small breeze to blow away the tears that collected in his eyes. He forced his expression to stay firm, even though he felt like breaking, like telling him. Like telling the three people that had probably cared for him the most everything they deserved to know. Caliborn’s words came up in his head again- he’d kill them. John refused to let it happen. They may have been at Caliborn’s mercy, but John refused to let them die, because he was too weak to resist begging his friends for forgiveness. He couldn’t. So, his expression hardened.

“I’m leaving.” John said, and clarified. “On Sunday. To camp.” Roxy looked surprised.

“What camp?”

“I applied last year, back when I was still on a zero talk basis with Dad. I was accepted, it has to do with biology, it looks great for college. It’s totally free too. So, stop coming to my house, both of you. And Roxy, dad won’t be here often either. You don’t have to look after me so often.” He said, and Karkat glared.

“Complete cowshit.” John picked up the orange envelope beside him.

“Here’s the letter.” He said, and handed it to Roxy. “Read it.” Roxy opened it, and scanned the page. It had a mailing address, and everything.

“John Egbert, you’ve been accepted to attend this year’s Alternia Co. Biology camp for budding scientists.” She read, and Karkat’s eyes widened.

“No, I know you’re lying. Let me see that.” Roxy handed it to him, and Karkat couldn’t help but shake his head. Dave frowned.

“That doesn’t explain what’s going on. Why are you ignoring us?” he asked, and John bit back irritation. He hoped talk about that would help them not remember the purpose of them being there. He crossed his arms again.

“I won’t tell you. Think what you want- but leave.” He said, and the three other people realized John wasn’t budging on the topic. Silence stretched across the house, and Karkat let out a sigh after two minutes passed. Just as he was about to give up, and apologize for intruding, Dave spoke up.

“I’m not leaving.” He said, and turned to Roxy. “I mean, if that’s okay.” She seemed to snap out of a trance.

“Oh, no problem. If I need to, I’ll pull out a sleeping bag.” She turned  to John. “Unless, you’re going to tell them what they want to know now.” She said, and John felt his heart rate quicken, frustration augmenting the beat.

“No.” He stood quickly from his bed, then shut the door on the three. He made it clear that he didn’t want to speak with any of them, and laid down on his bed. Silently, John worried that he wouldn’t be able to hide it. He frowned as he considered Karkat and Dave’s continuous attempts to talk to him. In truth, he expected them to write him off weeks ago. And that was when their lives weren’t in as much danger! Determination set in. If his friends cared about him this much, John had to be even stronger for them. Even if it meant ignoring them, and watching their friendship break apart. Dave and Karkat went far for John, and John was prepared to do the same. At least, now that he’d closed the door on  them, he didn’t have to see or hear them.

“We’re entering, fuckweed.” Instantly, Karkat and Dave were in his room. John looked at the two in alarm.

“I haven’t said you could come in.” He said testily, and Dave’s voice was hard as he answered.

“You haven’t said a lot of things.” John felt himself frown, and then sighed. He didn’t want to deal with this. Not now. The boy immediately picked up a pillow, and silently moved to his closet. He wasn’t sure what would happen. Maybe they’d respect his personal space, and just sit in his room. Maybe they would leave after realizing that John wasn’t going to say anything, and just break their friendship now.

Or… maybe they would open the door to the closet, steal pillows from John’s bed, and sit inside.

“Scoot the fuck over.” Came Karkat’s voice, and before he could stop them, they were sitting there. Things were getting ridiculous. The three teenaged boys, along with John’s hoarde of unorganized clothing filled John’s medium sized closet. John gaped at them.

“Really?” He asked, and Dave turned to him.

“John, we’re not leaving. And I seriously hope you’re out of places to crawl into, because if we get any smaller than this, it’s going to be uncomfortable.” Dave’s delivery was monotone and dry. Despite his annoyance and worries, John felt the corner of his mouth turn up, and a laugh bubbled out of his throat. Dave’s eyes widened at the sound, and he suddenly felt warm. Disreguarding his current relationship with John, or lack thereof, Dave couldn’t help but feel proud that he helped bring that sound into the world. And he’d missed John’s laugh, desperately. John, on the other hand, was scared. If Dave could trigger a reaction like that, after he hadn’t really laughed in weeks, would John have enough resolve not to tell them? The closet grew silent, and Dave and Karkat shared a glance. Karkat cleared his throat.

“John, are you planning on explaining any time soon?” He asked, and John stiffened again.

“No.” he looked at him curiously, and hopefully. “Why, do you have to go?” He asked, and Karkat smirked.

“Hardly. But your closet looks like you released a fucking venti tornado stampede in here.” He paused. “No pun intended.” John froze at the words, and Dave clearly didn’t understand, but he added on.

“No idea what the hell that means, but you have shirts that are hanging and folded, along with pants in the middle of where you put your sweatshirts. This is a mess- I can’t look at this.” John relaxed a little when he realized Dave wasn’t aware of his wind abilities, but frowned and snapped at them anyway.

“Then leave!” He demanded, and Karkat shook his head.

“Sorry, we’re not leaving until you explain, John. Even if sitting here, like some peaceful protestors in the 60’s or something.” John glared.

“There’s nothing to protest.” Dave looked at him.

“I can think of one thing that’s worthy of protesting- the fact that this messy ass closet exists. That’s it- I’m organizing this. Karkat, you helping?” Dave questioned, and the vampire smirked.

“Definitely. How do you even find clothes?” John shrugged, despite himself.

“It’s a gift.” He said, and Dave rolled his eyes.

“It’s a problem. Let’s start by taking the shirts out.” Organizing the closet took hours. Even between two vampires and a sprite, John’s closet just seemed to get worse the more they went in. It didn’t help that they constantly bumped into each other. All three felt the seriousness of the atmosphere start to fade, and John felt fully relaxed for the first time since he entered the situation. Laughter threatened to escape all of them at certain points, and each found themselves cutting off jokes that they used to make without hesitation. They even all had dinner, despite how tense the situation was. John’s dad was awkwardly oblivious to their tension, and delighted to have the two boys over. By the time night fell, John was far less admant that they leave his house, and Karkat and Dave almost stopped asking John to talk to them all together.  They all felt better, until Karkat’s cellphone rang.

“No- Kankri, I can’t. Anything else, fine, but I can’t right now.” Karkat said into the receiver, and listened. “No. Please, I know that’s important, but this is too.” His voice grew quiet. “Kankri, I’m at John’s house.” Silence, and a sigh. “You’re sure?” He asked, and another sigh came. “Fine.” He said, and hung up. Karkat turned to John. “You have two minutes to tell us what the hell is going on with you, and why you won’t talk to us unless we literally force ourselves into your house.” Karkat said, and John crossed his arms.

“I can’t- I mean, I’m not telling you guys anything. You should leave now too, Dave. I’m not talking.” He said firmly, and Karkat looked at Dave. Dave frowned.

“I’m not going. I understand if you have to, Karkat. But I’m staying here until I get an explanation.” Dave said, and John frowned at his words. Karkat sighed.

“Fine. Good luck.” He said, and left the room. John didn’t even walk him towards the door, and he stood next to Dave. The two remained there silently, until John spoke up.

“Well, I’m going to bed.” He said, and Dave raised an eyebrow.

“Really?”

“It’s not like you have to stay.” John said, and Dave turned around, and walked towards the door. John looked up at him, surprise on his face.

“Don’t get excited, I’m asking Roxy for a sleeping bag.” Dave said, and John groaned at the blonde left.  He moved to his closet to change into his pajamas, and heard Dave come in again. He paused for a second, and spoke. “John? Shit, did you leave?” He asked, and John, frantic and underclothed, responded.

“No, this is my room! I’m in the closet- don’t come in.” He said, and Dave sighed.

“Dude, I’m coming in.” John’s eyes widened as he stepped towards the door.

“No! I’m actually naked, don’t!” John shouted, and Dave stopped, but his voice turned hard.

“Are… you lying again?” Enbarassment tugged at John’s features- where was his nightshirt when he needed it?

“No! No, I’m actually not wearing clothes, don’t come in!” John said, and Dave seemed to stuggle with his words.

“Fine.” He said, but added to it. “But if you’re not done in two minutes I’m coming in.” he said, and John panicked. He searched for his shirt, and finally found it. Quickly, he placed it on his body and stepped outside of his closet.

“See. I was putting on my Pajamas.” John said, and Dave sighed. John looked at him. “You know, this doesn’t have to be a sleepover.”  Dave’s response came with a critical look.

“Well, if I’m going to stay, and you’re not going to say anything, I’m pretty sure that’s what it’s going to be.” He said, and John considered his options, then finally spoke up.

“Do you… want a shirt or something? Sleeping in skinny jeans won’t be comfortable.” He said nervously, and the words surprised Dave, before he nodded.

“Uh… yeah. That would be nice.” The blonde said, and John disappeared into his closet. He found a pair of sweatpants that was large on him, and handed them to Dave, then gave him the sweatshirt he’d let him use.

“Uh, I never actually gave this back. Sorry.” He said, and Dave nodded.

“It’s fine, I forgot. Uh, can I have a minute?” They switched positions, and John moved to his bed. Dave came out with folded clothes beside him, and sat on the sleeping bag Roxy found for him. John looked at his friend, and found that his sunglasses weren’t covering his face. He tried not to admit that he felt his heart skip a beat at the sight- he hadn’t seen his eyes for a while. John stared at them wordlessly, and Dave lifted himself onto John’s bed, and sat on the side of it. John snapped out of his red eye induced trance.

“What are you doing?” He asked, and Dave casually leaned against the headboard.

“Sitting here, until you tell me what’s going on.” Dave said, and John frowned.

“Dave, I told you that I’m going to sleep.”

“I’m not stopping you.” John turned over, and tried to summon a glare. In truth, he was touched by Dave’s actions, but disheartened by them too.

“Good night.” He announced, and shut his eyes. After the day’s events, it was easy to fall asleep instantly.  John just hoped Dave would get off his case in the morning.

Hours passed, and Dave watched John sleep. He sighed as time went on. Was he even doing the right thing? In all honesty, Dave wanted to stand up and leave. But what about John? He had to at least get a response, and nothing was working yet. Dave wanted a reason before he left John’s life for good. He deserved that much. And then, he heard it- a small sound of movement rang out in the dark of John’s room. Dave’s night-accustomed eyes turned to John, and he grew surprised at what he saw.

John was shaking, and crying. His mouth moved, but no sound came out. His breathing was ragged, but his voice sounded hoarse. His ligaments were limp in strange places but tense in others, like he was hanging from something. (Dave had enough exposure to his brother’s puppets to know.) Dave saw John’s muscles tense in one place, then fall back into that normal, limp state. The same would happen in a different area of John’s body, and Dave watched with rapt confusion. It was like he had tiny spasms- but no, that was different. He’d tense, and untense, and only in certain areas. Dave wondered what he could be dreaming about- and then he realized. It was like something was hitting John, from various sides and angles. Whether the offending object was a whip or a belt, Dave didn’t know. Horrified, he registered that John was silently screaming, and rushed to wake him up. In his panic, he lost control of his glow.

“John!” He said, hoping that he wouldn’t wake anyone else. He shook John awake, and the blue eyes that were squeezed shut opened. The strained expression on John’s face turned to a surprised one.

“Dave?” He registered, speaking in a childlike voice, and the corners of his lips went up. “I missed you.” He said, and Dave looked confused, but kept his eyes trained on John.

“You were screaming, I think, and crying.” He said, and John tiredly put a hand up to his face, and felt the water in his cheeks.

“Oh.” He said, his voice still childlike. “Another nightmare. Good night.” He dismissed it immediately, and turned over. Dave looked at him, alarmed.

“Wait, don’t go back to sleep!” He said, and John turned over, his initial sleepyness leaving him, and his voice grew deep.

“What?” He asked, and Dave was startled at the change, but looked at John firmly anyway.

“What do you mean, another nightmare?” He asked, and John sighed, then sat up.

“Nothing, I was tired.” John said, his voice firm again. The two boys sat there, in the dark. “You’re still here.” John observed, and Dave looked at him.

“I said I wasn’t leaving.” Dave announced, and John nodded.

“Hm, okay. Well, I’m not telling you about… you know.” John said, and Dave felt the corner of his lip rising a little.

“Not really, no. Can we talk about something else?” He asked, and John frowned.

“Like what?” He asked warily, and Dave shrugged.

“I don’t know. What do you do when you visit your mom?” John froze at the question, and had to decide how to answer.

“I talk to her.” John said, and Dave pressed in more.

“About what?” He asked, and John sighed.

“Everything. I tell her what’s going on, and how dad’s dating Roxy, and I tell her everything that’s happened since she died.” Dave carefully looked away from him.

“What specifically?” Dave questioned, and John sighed.

“I mainly talk about how I feel.” John said, and a smile pulled at his lips. “Lame, right?” He questioned, but Dave shook his head.

“No. I- what do you say? And… what would you say now?” The blonde asked, and John looked at his hands. He balled them into fists.

“I’d tell her… I’d tell her how helpless I feel.” He said, and continued. “How no matter how I try to get control of this, it always slips away. I’d tell her how alone I feel, and how much I hate being at his-” John’s eyes widened, and he cut himself off. “Nothing.” They fell into silence, and Dave eventually broke it.

“Do… you ever tell her about me?” The blonde asked, and John choked out a laugh.

“All the time.” John looked down, and smiled. “Every time.” He added, and Dave looked at him.

“What do you say?” He asked, and John answered immediately.

“Nothing bad. I talk about the things we did, and how happy I am around you, and… and how I miss you.” John admitted, and winced, expecting anger as the response. The one he got instead was quiet.

“I miss you too.” came the quiet response, and John couldn’t help but look down. He felt a tear collect, at the corner of his eye.

“I know.” The vampire turned to him then, hurt on his features.

“Then… why?” he asked, and John couldn’t provide an acceptable answer.

“I can’t tell you!” He said, suddenly frustrated. “I can’t.” John repeated, and Dave looked at him.

“You know, I promised Karkat that I wouldn’t leave until I got some form of an explanation.” John put his head in his hands.

“It’s… I’m sorry.” John said finally, and Dave looked away again. He seemed saddened, but accepting. A sigh came out of his mouth, and John expected words, but none came. After a few awkward minutes of silence, John spoke again. “It’s complicated.” He said finally, and Dave looked at him.

“Then explain! You know I want to be here for you.” He said, and John looked away. He was feeling far too tempted  to tell him everything now. Even moreso than before. He needed to change the subject, or do something.

“Do… you hate me?” He questioned, and Dave’s red eyes narrowed.

“Dude, really? Hell John, what do you think?” He questioned, and John flinched at the tone.

“Maybe?” He tried, unsure of how to answer. “I would, I mean-”

“Shut the hell up.” Dave said, and John immediately complied. “John, no offense- but that’s the dumbest fucking question anyone could ever ask in your fucking situation. Do you really think I would stay up all night waiting for you to trust me if I hated you? Really?” He asked, and John looked to the side.

“Oh. I guess not.”

“Yeah, no shit.” and he fell silent again. John weighed his options. Technically, if he did this, he wouldn’t be breaking his and Caliborn’s arrangement. He twiddled his thumbs, then looked up at his best friend suddenly.  

“Hey… Dave. Can I show you something? It’s kind of far from here, and it won’t answer any questions, but I thought you should know, at least this. I won’t tell you all of it. But, can I show you this much?” He asked nervously, and Dave blinked. It was past twelve in the morning, and they were wearing pajamas. After a night of no sleep and bullshit, the answer was obvious.

“Of Course.” Dave wasn’t sure if he should really agree or not, but this was a start. This was something, and at this point, Dave would take what he could get.

_______________-

AN: Wow, this was longer than I wanted/expected, and there’s a part two! Ha! Ha Ha! Haaa….

JAFNF Chapter 132

(Saturday, June 27 th )

Before doing anything, John pulled out some paper, and wrote Roxy and his father a message. He explained that he and Dave stepped out, and that they’d be back eventually. John turned on the lights in his room, and pulled on a sweatshirt. Dave watched him, curiously. John took the liberty to explain that they were going on a long trip, and that they wouldn’t travel by car. Dave asked if he should bring his camera, and John had to think about it, but nodded. So, when the two boys closed the front door to John’s house, Dave asserted that he had something to show him as well. He had his new sunglasses on, and John looked at them.

“I like your new glasses.” He said quietly, and Dave turned around.

“You noticed?” He asked, and John raised a singular eyebrow.

“Yeah? I mean, I didn’t say anything yesterday, but they were there.” John said quietly, and looked up at him. “Was I not supposed to?” He asked, and Dave shook his head.

“No, they were there. It just took Karkat a while. I didn’t think you’d notice.” Dave said, and John shrugged.

“Well, I did. Did you just get new ones because…”

“Bro gave them to me, and they control my hoverboard.” The words processed in John’s head. His eyebrows lifted in surprise, and he had to make sure he was hearing Dave correctly.

“Hoverboard?” He asked, and Dave motioned to the flamed board beside him, that lacked wheels. Despite himself, he smirked.

“Yeah. Hoverboard- hey, step back.” He said, and John complied. Dave put the item on the ground, and stood atop it. He mentally commanded the board to start floating, and it did. John’s eyes widened in surprise.

“Woah, cool.” He said, and Dave smirked.

“Yeah, it doesn’t need fuel or anything- I think it uses air? Either way, it’s fast, and controlled by my sunglasses, and really cool.” John observed it.

“Plus it has flames on the side.” He said, and Dave rolled his eyes at the comment.

“Yeah, those too. You want to get on?” He asked, and John looked down at the board. It was definitely big enough for him to stand, or sit on- but he had a different way of getting around.

“I’m okay. I can um… I can get around too.” John said, and looked away nervously. He wasn’t sure if he should tell Dave about his abilities, but John shook it away. This was Dave- John could tell him. If he didn’t have to keep something secret from his best friend, he didn’t want to. “Uh… don’t freak out, okay?” John asked, and Dave raised an eyebrow.

“You know who you’re talking to, right?” Dave asked, and John laughed nervously.

“Yeah. Right, well…” He started to rise into the air, and floated above him. “This is a thing now.” Dave looked at John, his face expressionless.

“You’re flying.” Dave said, and John nodded. He was still unendingly nervous, for whatever Dave’s reaction would be. Of course, Dave’s face betrayed nothing, as usual. John’s answer came out stuttered, and awkward.

“Yeah, I can, um… yeah.” John said. Dave looked at him, noticing the wind blowing against and around his best friend. John seemed to be, for the most part, effortless in his hovering. He didn’t look like he was doing anything special, or even taking extra time into concentrating. The blonde’s voice turned curious, but his face stayed the same.

“How?” He asked, and John shrugged.

“I always could, I just didn’t know until recently.” John said, and put an arm on his neck. “Is this okay?” He asked, and watched Dave’s carefully nonchalant face. Dave’s mouth twitched, and they cracked into a smile. John saw him contain it quickly in a smirk, and tension eased out of him as Dave responded.

“Wow. No, yeah that’s… that’s cool. Peter to the fucking pan right here.” Dave said, and John offered him a half smile.

“Yeah. So, if your sunglasses ever fall off on your way down a skyscraper, I’m here.” The words, delivered with a just slightly heroic tone made Dave snort.

“Really? I’m the Lois?” Dave asked, a little incredulously. John’s half smile broke into a grin.

“What, you expected to be superman? I already told you Dave, you’re the sidekick here.” John responded haughtily, but Dave rolled his eyes.

“Sidekick? Definitely not- I’m a hot reporter that happens to fall off buildings from time to time.” John placed his hands on his hips, and fought not to look too pleased with himself.

“That’s right, you’re my hot reporter girlfriend. I’m nerdy John Egbert by day, and Superman by night- or whenever else someone needs me.” The two stared at each other for one second, then another, and both broke into short bouts of laughter. Dave’s smile still lingered on his face, while John’s grin remained ever evident as he calmed down. He looked down at Dave from his raised position. “Dave, are you ready to go? You know, before my neighbors wake up and see two flying boys?” He asked, and Dave made his hoverboard move up, to match John’s height in the air. He made an open armed gesture atop his hoverboard.

“After you.” John grinned, and instantly took off, soaring above the clouds. At this, Dave wanted to frown- that was a little high for him. Too high, even, but he refused to admit it. Dave reluctantly followed him up, and they started their fly through the night.  John flew to Dave’s side, using a phone to help him locate Chicago. The night sky was bright enough, with the presence of the moon and the fading lights of suburban Washington below them for both to see. They flew in silence for a few minutes, but they seemed like hours. Still, it wasn’t entirely uncomfortable, at least for John. He still felt the pressure silently exerted on him to tell Dave everything, but now he knew Caliborn would hurt Dave if he did that. So, he said nothing.

The same couldn’t be said for Dave. He was horrendously uncomfortable, but not because of the silence. No, Dave’s discomfort was a lot more physical. Even through the warm sweatshirt and sweatpants, along with his normal shirt and socks, the air above the clouds sank through Dave’s garments. He was freezing. And if that wasn’t enough, he was tired too. He hadn’t actually gone to sleep when John did, and standing for however long John’s trip would take didn’t help. Still, he didn’t show it, at all. And yet, John’s gaze twitched over to him at first, then lingered. His eyebrows knit, and Dave refused to show him that he looked back, but wondered what he was thinking about. Finally, John spoke.

“You didn’t sleep.” John said, and it wasn’t a question. Dave rolled his eyes.

“So? Dude, let’s keep going.” John frowned.

“No, not if you’re tired… and cold!” John observed, and Dave looked at him seriously.

“No way. You said you had something to show me. This is the first time we’ve talked in weeks, like hell am I missing this because I’m a little tired. And dude, you’re probably just as cold as me, I can deal with it.” He said, but John crossed his arms.

“I don’t care. And I’m used to it, I’ve been flying a lot lately. But you haven’t. At least, not this- wait, are we too high?” John worried, and frowned when Dave refused to answer. He realized that Dave didn’t want to stop, but he also knew… well, he couldn’t just let him be tired, cold, and terrified of falling. John considered his options. Dave’s skateboard was pretty long- almost like a snowboard. It didn’t really matter, since it hovered, but… no, Dave couldn’t lay down on that.

“I’m not leaving.” He said, and John frowned. He made a decision. With a sigh, John looked down at his phone. He searched for the nearest Wal- Mart, and led Dave down to it, hoverboard and all. Dave looked at him curiously.

“Hey, not that I’m not excited or whatever, because all great adventures usually involve a store late at night, but what are we doing here?” He asked, and John sighed. He felt around for his wallet.

“Buying an air mattress.” John said, and Dave looked at him in surprise.

“Uh, why? Also, I doubt you have a pump for that.” John shrugged.

“I don’t think I’ll need one. The trip there will still take a while, at our current speed. You should get some rest now.” John said, and Dave’s eyes narrowed, and John couldn’t see due to his sunglasses, but he could tell that Dave was confused. “I’ll fly you there, on the mattress. Now- let’s look around.” John entered the store, and Dave held his hoverboard at his side. John looked around, and eventually found what he was looking for- a ten dollar air mattress. John took it, and quickly went to the tired cashier. The woman looked at the two, and John placed a hand on his neck. He never considered that they’d probably look weird, but the cashier didn’t comment.

The two walked into the empty parking lot, and John opened the package. A deflated air mattress came out, and John searched for the hole to fill it. Once he completed the task, John looked at it.

“So, you put air in there, right?” Dave questioned, and John shrugged.

“I guess so. Uh, let me just…” John closed his eyes, and forced air inside. After it was sufficiently filled, Dave sat on it.

“All good.” He said, offering him a thumbs up. Dave’s camera hung loosely around his neck, and he sat on the edge of their impromptu bed.  

“Good! Then let’s go! And try to fall asleep.” Dave fell onto the mattress, and John prepared to lift them into the sky.  After achieving this, John steadily flew them towards Chicago. Dave was trying his best not to look worried, but John squeezed his arm. “Don’t worry, I won’t let you fall.” John said, and Dave seemed to freeze for a moment, before the corner of his mouth turned up.

“Yeah, thanks John.” Dave started to head to sleep, and their trip was so quiet that John noticed Dave’s light snores, and sighed with relief when he learned that his friend was asleep. He looked at Dave periodically, with his red hoverboard spooned against him, and felt a fond smile grow on his face. Eventually, John could tell when the blonde drifted to sleep, and he drove them forward slowly, over the clouds. After a few minutes of flying, John noticed Dave shivering. When he saw this, he frowned. Could he help him get warmer? John wished he could do something about the temperature. He thought about it. Could he? The boy concentrated, asking the wind to get warmer.

The wind did not comply. John sighed, realizing that it wouldn’t work. That wasn’t one of the powers Typheus told him about, so it was somewhat obvious that he couldn’t do it. With a long sigh, John realized he’d have to warm Dave the old fashioned way. So, John spent the next ten minutes  trying to figure out how to take a sweatshirt off while flying. The task wasn’t an easy one, but John managed to do it anyway. He had a long sleeved shirt on underneath the jacket anyway. The flying boy gingerly placed the item over Dave’s shivering form, and waited. The shivering didn’t stop as the blonde slowly gripped the clothing article. In fact, it seemed to grow more pronounced. John frowned. What could he do now? If he slowed their flight down any more, they’d be travelling during the daytime, and John knew someone would notice the flying boy with the floating bed and skateboard. He put a hand on his chin, and waited for an idea to come.

And one did. John sighed, hoping that it wouldn’t be too awkward, and more importantly, that Dave wouldn’t wake up. The boy lightly placed himself on the moving mattress, and carefully put his arms around Dave. He waited, hoping that Dave wouldn’t wake up. Instead, he heard Dave let out a comforted sigh, and he seemed to stop shivering as much. John let out his anxious breath, then beamed at himself for accomplishing his goal. He lightly sped up their travel, the hoverboard beside John on the large mattress. Dave’s impossibly light snores were lost in the wind, and they made headway towards their destination.

Eventually, John realized that he wouldn’t be able to move from his position until they arrived, or Dave would wake up. He rested his head on the mattress, hoping things wouldn’t be awkward. Throughout the ride, John periodically found himself falling asleep in the comfortable position, but found that they were still on course and unharmed when he woke up from drifting off. After two more hours of travel, they finally arrived just as the sun started to rise over Chicago. John’s eyes flickered open, and he carefully sat up as they floated above Typheus’ home. John looked down below them, and after a quick check, realized that no early morning, beachside joggers remained to obstruct their path. John tuned to find Dave still soundly asleep, and a little smile graced his lips. Slowly, John set Dave’s mattress down on the beach, and unloaded his hoverboard beside him. John quietly sat, his head turned towards the rising sun, before Dave crossed his mind again. Maybe she should have woken him up for it? Just as John decided against it, he noticed Dave stirring. He watched Dave sit up, and attempt to rub his eyes, until he felt the sunglasses still covering his face. It took all of a second for Dave to understand what was going on, and feel oriented again. He turned to John.

“Sup?” He asked, and John pointed to the sky.

“That.” Dave saw the colors of the sky get lighter, and picked up his camera from around his neck. He took a picture seconds later, and looked at it.

“Nice.” He said, turning his gaze towards the sky. “So, you flew me to a beach?” He asked, and John shrugged.

“It’s a lake actually. But that’s not where we’re going- we’re heading over there.” John said, pointing to Typheus’ home. Dave looked at it, intrigued. He stood immediately, the crevices in his shoes likely filling with sand.

“Cool. Let’s go.” He said, and John floated above him.

“You’ll need your hoverboard- and I don’t think the mattress will fit through the window.” John said, and Dave looked confused for a second, before shrugging it off.

“You know what? I’m not questioning it. Let’s go.” They left the mattress there as Dave stood on his board, and rose to meet John’s height. John made a becokoning motion.

“Follow me!” He said, and John led him over to the side of the house, where Typheus’ special window sat against the wall. John pointed to the darkened, and open window. “Through here!” He insisted, and Dave frowned, but didn’t question it. John went inside, and Dave followed him.

The blonde wasn’t sure what he was expecting. Well, no- he expected to fly into this guy’s house. So, when they were surrounded by a dark void instead, it surprised him so much that he didn’t feel the hoverboard slipping away from his feet, at first. Then… he felt it. He screamed as he started to fall, but sound didn’t permeate the area. Dave felt himself plunge into the endless void, and closed his eyes as he felt himself fall. For the first time ever, Dave didn’t feel time pass, at all. So, it could have been seconds or hours of falling, but he felt himself get carried upwards, along with the board beneath his feet. He opened his red, vampiric eyes, and realized that there was nothing under him, but he moved anyway. Then he felt it- arms around his chest, and someone behind him. The force moved Dave forward towards a white light, and seemed to enter it.

Sound and sight came back at once, and Dave heard the noises before he saw the scenery. He recognized the arms around him- John’s, and heard his worried voice first.

“Dave? Oh gob, are you okay? I- I didn’t know that- oh no, are you okay?” John asked, and Dave’s focus zoomed in on John.

“What? I’m fine.” He seemed to concentrate. “I was falling, but you got me. Thank you.” He said, and John’s tight, worried grip on him eased. “Why did my hoverboard stop working?” He asked, remembering how the object fell below him. John frowned.

“I don’t- oh, of course. Air. I don’t think there was air in there.” John said, and frowned. “Or, something. I don’t really know.” The boy said, and Dave frowned.

“Well, that’s a nice thing to mention before you take me in a window portal. Speaking of that, how the hell did we even get to that place? And where are….we….now.” Dave’s sentence slowed down as he registered the blue world around him. John put his hand on his neck.

“Uh, welcome to Wind and Shade. This was what I wanted to show you.” John said, and Dave’s eyes widened behind his sunglasses. He even took them off, to make sure he was seeing correctly. He stared at the area, dumbfounded. John anxiously waited for what he was going to say.

“Holy shit.” His tone was awed, and John looked at him awkwardly.

“Yeah, it’s kind of… intense.” John said, and Dave looked at the world around him again.

“Why is everything so… blue?” He asked, and John blinked. A smile grew on his face, and it became a grin.

“No idea!” He exclaimed, and giggled. “Sorry, I think it’s just like that here. I could, uh, show you around?” John offered, and Dave looked at him.

“Seriously? Hell yes!” He said, showing some actual excitement. “John, this place is insane.” Dave said, and John grinned.

“Wait until you meet Casey.” He said, and Dave looked at him, in intrest.

“Who’s Casey?” He  asked, and John shrugged.

“My salamander consort daughter.” He said. John watched Dave’s expression, and laughed. He rose into the air, and looked at Dave. “Come on!” He said, and Dave looked at his hoverboard nervously. John saw this, and looked down at him. “You can leave the hoverboard here, if you want. I know that there’s air here, but it may be easier if you just come with me.” John said, and Dave seemed to war between his options. Finally, he nodded.

“Okay.” He said, and John stretched out his hand. With a tug and the help of his wind, the two were in the air. John looked at Dave, noticing his discomfort. “Is this okay?” He asked, and Dave swallowed.

“Perfect.” Dave was stumbling when there was nothing to stumble on, and in consant danger of falling over. “Really I’m fine. It’s like standing at the center of a whirlpool.” He insisted, and John could only sigh.

“Yeah, that’s not working.” John said. With a sigh, he used the wind to push Dave sideways into his arms, and John ended up carrying him, bridal style. He looked at Dave in concern. “Hey, is this better?” Dave looked back up at him, embarrassment clear on his features.

“John, you don’t need to carry me. And hey, how in fuck can you even hold me?” He asked, and John shrugged.

“Hammers maybe?” He asked, and Dave nodded.

“Oh, cool. Well still, you don’t have to fucking carry me. I can use the hoverboard, or walk.” John looked down at him.

“Dave, it’ll take a long time to walk around here, this is like an entire planet. And I still have three more of these to show you! Come on, just let me fly you past these things. You can order your hoverboard to come if you need it, right?” John asked, and Dave sighed.

“But really, carrying me?” John rolled his eyes.

“I’ll put you down before we go anywhere important. I’m still superman, Dave.” John responded, and Dave only sighed.

“Fine, okay. Let’s go.” He said, and John took off. After a little flying, they reached the collection of apple trees John visited weeks earlier. John put Dave down, and showed off the fruit.

“Hey, this should look familiar, right? I used these for that pie. Oh, that reminds me- was it good?” John questioned, and Dave looked to the side, suddenly tense.

“I don’t know. I didn’t eat it.” John frowned at that, then he suddenly remembered that they were still mid fight, or something. John looked down, feeling sick. For a while, while he was with Dave, John forgot about the circumstances surrounding the trip. He remembered why he took Dave here in the first place. Getting one last good moment with his best friend before Lord English took over the world was the point of the trip. It wasn’t to make him forget the state of his existence and the soon to be state of the world. With that in mind, their generally cheery conversation ended. John tensed, waiting for Dave to ask what was going on, and for John’s expected refusal to answer. Dave’s jaw was set again, and the two boys sat in the middle of Wind and shade, wondering who would speak first, or what they would say.

Dave knew what would happen if he asked the question he’d been waiting to get the answer to. His jaw set, and he looked away from John. They’d gone through an airtight portal in wherever John flew them on sn air mattress to get here, and after staying for ten minutes, the entire trip could have been filled with hostile glares and awkward silences. And as much as Dave craved, deserved, and wished for the truth from his friend (was it really so hard to say?), he’d missed John more. He had convinced himself he was over it, but the statement couldn’t have been farther from the truth. Dave desperately missed having John in his life, and while it hurt to know that John couldn’t even tell him why he ignored him and couldn’t trust him anymore hurt, it hurt more to know that John wasn’t in his life. Now that John seemed to want to hang out with him again, Dave couldn’t find it within himself to let them break apart again. So, despite the fact that John not trusting him, and keeping things from him hurt, Dave let it go- for now.

“Well, uh,” Dave started, forcing his hands into his too small pockets in his discomfort, “I’d like to try one now.” He said finally, and John looked up from his staring contest with the blue soil below them. Surprise was evident in his features, and then he broke into a nervous smile.

“I guess we’re apple picking.” John said, and floated up to the top of one of the taller trees. The boy grabbed two apples, and threw one at Dave, who reflexively caught it. After wiping it off a little, because neither were sure if dirt and bugs applied to magical planet apples, Dave tried it. John looked at him, curiosity clear on his expression. “How is it?” He asked, and Dave finished chewing, then swallowed. John’s eyes followed the movement of his throat, then snapped back up to his face and waited for an answer.

“It’s like… a red delicious, but blue, and glowing.” Dave decided, and John raised an eyebrow.

“Good?” He questioned, and Dave smirked.

“Hand me another.” John smiled.

“Good.” He confirmed, and went off to do it.

John showed Dave the salamander village, along with Typheus’ castle. It looked a lot less imposing and more majestic without black oil flowing through its pipes. He played a song on the pipe organ with his extra hands, and even dropped in and introduced Dave to Casey. Of course, Dave had difficulty distinguishing Casey from the hundreds of other consorts in the area, but he was happy enough for John’s tastes at the introductions anyway. John took Dave through Light and Rain, discovering its turtle libraries and potion sales, then let Dave take pictures of the sparkling beach and water. They sat around atop one of the floating pink turtle shells at one point, and John even pushed Dave into the ocean (sans camera) for fun. He took him to see heat and Clockwork, where Dave surprisingly liked the heated, metal atmosphere. The blonde took time to photograph the lava swimming consorts, and liked the little red nak-odiles until one managed to steal his ishades. Apparently, it sent messages to John, and after they finally retrieved the sunglasses, John had fun reading them aloud. They visited Frost and frogs as well, but stayed for far less time. After all, it was cold. Dave’s outwardly shivering form still took pictures of the green trees and red flowers. By the time they finished, the two neared the end of the day. Dave returned to Wind and Shade, and regretfully left the blue planet. John took it upon himself to securely hold Dave, his hoverboard, his camera, and their remaining apples as they travelled through the window to return to Chicago.

After some discussion, John decided to sit on the back of Dave’s hoverboard for the ride home. He removed the air from the mattress and brought it with them. It took considerably less time now that Dave flew them towards Washington, and when they finally reached Maple Valley, it was almost sunset. Dave set them down on one of the town’s numerous grassy hills, and the heat from summer helped to make the location bearable. John gawked at the images Dave took of the ethereal places they’d visited, and wondered how he’d managed to get such good pictures. Dave said exactly the opposite, complaining about how they hadn’t reflected the area’s true beauty. The two managed to stop themselves just short of an argument regarding the quality of Dave’s photography.

It was John who noticed the vibrancy of the sunset first. He’d been so taken with Dave, and vice versa, that neither paid attention to the sky around them. Once John pointed it out, Dave realized he was right. It was nice from here, and pictures would be wonderful. Dave’s hand reached for his camera, but stopped, and returned to its place instead. He removed his sunglasses from his eyes, and stared up at the sky instead. John noticed this, and diverted his eyes to Dave.

“Hey, you’re not taking a picture?” John asked, and Dave sighed.

“Nah, not this time. Sometimes it’s just better to remember the moment, you know?” He asked, and John gave him one of his half toothy smiles.

“If you say so. But, I’m pretty sure that the point of the picture is to help you remember.” John countered, and Dave raised an eyebrow.

“Maybe, but it’s not nessessary if I won’t forget- provided that you don’t forget too.” Dave said, and John hit him lightly in the shoulder.

“I won’t forget, asshole.” John responded, and Dave smirked.

“Your asshole.” He responded, and John smirked too.

“What about my asshole? I’m pretty sure it’s fine.” John said, making no attempts to hide the growing smile on his face. Dave rolled his eyes.

“Whatever, You know what I meant, Obviously I was asking to get in your-”

“Faggots!” A voice shouted, and Dave’s head whipped towards the noise. An older woman was looking at the two, glaring, when she saw Dave’s eyes. Her own widened in surprise, and she crossed herself. Her eyes turned to John, who looked back, wide eyed. She gave him a pittied look. “Mercy on your soul boy, for having this demon corrupt you.” She said again, then shook her head, and entered her vehicle. John’s hands tightened as she drove away, and he turned to Dave.

“That was so-” John paused when he saw that Dave’s sunglasses were back on, and that the blonde started to stand. He didn’t say anything, and John looked up at Dave. The sky still darkened around them, and John’s face became worried. “Dave?” He questioned, still sitting. “Sit down, the sun’s still-”

“John, I think we should go home.” Dave said, he voice fragile. John looked alarmed, and spoke quickly.

“Dave, you know what she said wasn’t true, that wasn’t even Christian, it was just mean.” John said, and Dave’s voice came out softer.

“I-” His voice cracked, and he put it back on its normal tone. “I think it would be better if we just went home.” Dave said, and John stood up next to him, crossing his arms.

“No.” John said, and Dave’s eyebrows shot up in confusion. “I mean, I’m not letting that mean lady ruin today. She used a mean term, yeah, but she’s not important!” John insisted, but Dave responded suddenly, and with anger in his tone.

“Well, why the fuck do you care?” he asked, turning towards him angrily. “You can’t even fucking trust me with what’s going on, why the hell should you even care?” John’s shock at the outburst wore away to defensiveness.

“Hey, she said something mean to me too! And of course I care, you’re my best friend!” John responded, and Dave crossed his arms.

“Oh yeah, she was awful to you. Mercy on your soul, not Demon eyes. And if you really cared about me, you would have told me. Do you know how much fucking shit and stress I went through just trying to figure out why you wouldn’t talk to me? And by the time I try to get the hell over you, Karkat drags me the fuck back in. But do I get an explanation? No, I get some crazy ass day trip that ends with an old lady calling me a fucking demon. Again.” Dave responded harshly, and John glared.

“You’ve been through stress? You? I got attacked by Karkat in an alleyway trying to deliver the gift you didn’t even try! I’ve been talking to my mom, Dave! The one who died ten years ago! The past month plus has been literal torture for me, and I do this for weeks, only to find out that instead of doing what I thought I was doing this entire time, I’m helping English-” John cut himself off. His gaze lowered. “Nothing, nevermind.” Dave slapped a hand to his forhead.

“See, you’re even doing it now. You’re always leaving me with more questions, more confusion, more stress, more and more and more John bullshit! I can’t believe I let Karkat suck me into this again. And of course, you won’t say anything. Fuck trust, fuck us. Fuck this, I’m leaving. You can fly home, or whatever the hell you do now.” Dave said, and John glared harshly.

“No, you’re not being fair.” John responded, and Dave groaned.

“Are you fucking kidding? Fine, I’ll be ‘fair’ for you. Tell me what the hell is going on now, or I’m out, forever. And I won’t let Karkat drag me back into you, I’m fucking done after this. I don’t need your magic superman glowing apple bullshit, and I don’t care about it either.” Dave said testily, and the strength left John’s body.

“I… can’t.” He said, and Dave looked back at him.

“Why not, huh? Will it fuck up your reputation? Is it a secret? What, is someone going to die if you tell me?” John’s head turned up sharply at that. He quickly tried to avert his eyes, and not give anything away, but Dave saw. His eyes widened. “John?” He asked, and John refused to answer. The anger left his tone now. “John, is someone going to die?” Dave asked, and John refused to respond. Dave felt his chest turn icy. “Who, you? Your dad? Me?” Dave asked now, and John looked up suddenly.

“I’m going.” John started to dash past him, but Dave caught him. The boy struggled to get out of Dave’s grip. “Let me leave!” John shouted,and Dave glared through his sunglasses.

“No, I’m not letting you go that easily! I told Karkat that I would get some fucking answers, I’m not going.” John turned to him in his struggled filled grip.

“You didn’t have a problem with it a minute ago! Let me!” John said, their words seeming loud in the night. Stars slowly appeared over their grassy knoll, and Dave responded back passionately.

“No, I won’t. I can’t let you walk out of my life! Not like this.” Dave announced, and John’s stuggling slowed to a stop. He looked back at his friend behind him.

“Why?” John asked, and Dave’s throat thickened.

“Because I’ll miss you.” Dave responded, and John’s struggling stopped. He turned to stare at his best friend, still pinned together at the arm. John’s response came out in a whisper.

“I miss you now.” He said, and Dave took in a deep breath.

“I know. I miss you now too- Don’t leave.” Dave begged, and John looked at his black sunglasses. He let his arm go free. John wanted to run. Being with Dave was dangerous for his safety. It was just too easy for John to open up to Dave, and he should have run away.  So when John captured Dave in a tender hug instead, both parties were surprised. Dave immediately held John back. Dave’s arms wrapped around John as the two hugged. “Don’t go.” Dave whispered, and John felt tears gathering in his eyes.

“I don’t want to let go.” He responded, his voice unbearably sad. Dave fell deeper into John.

“Then don’t. Don’t leave- trust me. I’m here for you.” He said, and Dave put his hands on John’s shoulders seriously, pushing him back. He almost looked scared. “John, I need to know- is someone going to die? Please, John.” He asked, and John matched his serious tone.

“Not if I can help it.” John said, and Dave’s eyes widened.

“You were protecting us.” He realized, and John looked to the side.

“I never said that.”

“Are you denying it?” John didn’t. Dave looked troubled now, and looked at John in a new light. “Of course, from what? No, you can’t say, can you?” Dave asked, and John looked down. That was all he needed. He pulled John into a tender hug again. “John, I’m sorry.” He whispered, and John hugged back.

“It’s okay.” John said, and Dave’s shoulders sagged. For the past month, or more, he’d been angry and upset, while John was only trying to protect them. Karkat was right, of course John had a reason. Dave should have known, or guessed, or something- well, he couldn’t change it now. All he could really do was what he was supposed to be doing anyway. He needed to be there for him. He slowly let go of their hug.

“John, I mean this now more than ever.” He said quietly. “I’m still here for you. Even if you can’t tell me what’s going on, I’m here.” John looked up at Dave now.  

“I’m here for you too. “The two still stood close, but John’s hands were on Dave’s face. He felt his friend’s sunglasses, and slowly removed them. “Especially with things like this.” John said, taking the glasses of Dave’s face. His eyes were squeezed shut. “Dave.” He said softly, and continued. “Open them. Please.” John said, but Dave refused. John cupped Dave’s face in his hand. “Dave, please. You deserve to have them uncovered. They’re a part of you.” John said, and Dave finally responded. He was far from over that woman’s comment.

“People think I’m a demon. They’re repulsed by my eyes. I don’t-” he let out a sigh. “She thought I was hurting you.” Dave said, and John sighed.

“She doesn’t matter. People that don’t like you for who you are don’t matter. Please, open them.” John said, but Dave still refused. Using Dave as a support, John started to rise to his tip toes, when he realized he could just use wind. He floated his head just above where he was before, and in an instant, pressed small kisses into Dave’s eyes. The blonde couldn’t help it now- his eyes opened as he looked at John in surprise. His cheeks managed to redden, and he looked at John, who smiled back at him.

“You- you just-”

“Kissed your eyes because they’re beautiful, no matter what anyone else says about them. Your eyes are a part of you, and they’re just as wonderful as the rest of you. Please, don’t care about what she said. If she says things that aren’t true like that, you should know that she doesn’t deserve to appreciate you, like that. No one that cares about you has ever had a problem with your eyes, okay?”  John asked, and Dave swallowed. His response came out a little dumbly.

“Uh, okay.” He said, and John laughed. Dave turned embarrassed. “I mean, shit. Yeah, thanks John.” Dave said, and John cracked a smile.

“I missed you.” He said again, and this time, Dave smirked.

“They always do. All the ladies want a piece of this, John.” Dave said, and despite the fact that he was joking, it wasn’t really a lie. John rolled his eyes.

“So, what. I have competition now? Am I going to have to blow people off of you so I can get to you now?” John asked, and Dave rolled his eyes, not failing to note how nothing could be farther from the truth.

“Nah, you know you always come first. But speaking of that, did you ever talk to Damara?” Dave asked, and John shook his head.

“No. I think she likes someone else anyway. I was mistaken about all of that, I guess.” John said, and the words were a pleasant surprise for Dave. Still, he played up the best friend card anyway.

“Sorry, John. But hey, I’ll still be your hot reporter girlfriend. Lois Strider to the rescue, right?” Dave asked, and John snickered.

“Sure. Alright then, as John Kent, or superman, We’ve got to do something other than falling off buildings and reporting. Is there anything the lovely lady would like to do before we conclude the evening?” John asked, pooling sarcasm in his tone, but Dave jerked a thumb towards the sky.

“Stargazing.” He responded, and John looked up at the sky around them. It actually was nice. John looked to his side, at Dave.

“Dave, I was kidding. What about my dad, or Roxy, or Bro?” He asked, and Dave shrugged.

“They’ll figure it out. Plus, the stars are nice and we still have to finish these apples.” Dave added, and John was about to refuse when he remembered the circumstances again. If this was goodbye, they could do what Dave wanted. “And, you totally have to do what I want because I’m fucking Lois and the lady always gets what she wants, like come on. Be a gentleman.” He added, and John rolled his eyes.

“Pass me an apple.” John said, and he laid down on the grass. Frowning, he sat up again. “Wait, I don’t want bugs in my hair.” John added, and Dave shrugged.

“Use the mattress.” John expanded it again, and both laid atop it comfortably. Dave was hyper aware of every place his skin made contact with John, and he remembered those two kisses again. A warmth spread through him, and he wondered how he ever could have thought that he was over John. John pointed out a few groups of stars, and they had fun making up names for the rest. Eventually though, both boys knew they needed to return. With a sigh, Dave dropped John off on his front porch, and John let him keep the mattress.

“Thanks for taking me out today, John. It was fun.” Dave said, and John smiled, but he couldn’t keep his sadness off his face.

“Well, thanks for being there. I missed hanging out with you a lot.” John said, and Dave smirked.

“You can fly over and see me whenever, right superman?” He asked, and John rolled his eyes.

“Hey, only if you’re falling off a building, Lois. Or you just want to be carried around a lot, because apparently, I’m pretty good at that too.” Jon said, and Dave smirked.

“Hey, a girl’s gotta do what a girl’s gotta do. And I don’t like being carried.” Dave said, and John crossed his arms. He smirked playfully at his best friend.

“Really? You looked like you were enjoying yourself.  I know that you kept hanging from my neck for fun.” Dave stared at him blankly.

“I don’t remember this at all. Hanging from your neck? That sounds suspiciously uncool. Definitely not something you could catch me doing.” He said, and John smirked.

“Then let me refresh your memory. You were like this,” John said, closing considerable distance between him and his friend. He easily reached to wrap his arms around Dave’s neck, and Dave flushed as their faces were moved closer together. “But sideways.” John leaned closer to him, and his next word came out hushed. “Remember?” He asked, and Dave managed not to showcase his internal screaming at the situation. He was awkward, but at least he could pretend to be cool for a second or two. So, he swallowed, and responded.

“Still not ringing any bells.” Dave said back, and John was probably close enough to feel his heart beating wildly in his vampiric chest. John’s eyes narrowed at him.

“Well, my neck’s still sore from you hanging on it.” He said flatly, and Dave’s face turned concerned, and worried.

“What? Why didn’t you tell me to stop?” Dave asked, and noticed that John still hadn’t pulled away from his demonstration. However, John did smirk.

“You were enjoying yourself, and the pain wasn’t bad. Also, I got you to admit it.” John said triumphantly, and Dave frowned.

“But I hurt you.” Dave said, and John rolled his eyes.

“I’m fine. It wasn’t a big deal.” John assured him, and started to continue when Dave spoke.

“John, look at me.” John’s focus snapped back to Dave, and his breath caught in his throat. The blonde pushed his sunglasses up to the top of his hair. He definitely had his attention. “I never want to hurt you. You’re too important to me. So please, if I ever am, tell me. Even if it’s not a big deal, I want to try to make it better, okay?” He asked, and couldn’t help but noticed the increased blood flow to John’s cheeks as he nodded. Dave hid a victorious expression, because he was making John blush, and fuck if that wasn’t amazing to know. John’s reply came with a hint of nervousness, and a dash of mischief.

“How do you plan to make my neck feel better then?” John asked, and Dave thought about it.

“Massage? Wait, I’m not good at necks. Shoulders, yeah, but… hm.” He looked down at John carefully, and took in a nervous breath, subconsciously wetting his lips. “I could do the old fashioned method. 10 out of 10 doctors would recommend.” Dave said, and John looked up at him, his blue eyes surprisingly (well, not that surprisingly) a lot more confident.

“Oh, really? What’s that, it sounds pretty interesting.” John said, suddenly aware of their closeness. Dave avoided John’s face, looking anywhere but at the boy beneath him.

“Well, if you’re okay with it, I mean, I don’t have to or anything, you know, purely for your medical help and stuff, but, uh,” Dave tried, and John looked at him with a mix of affection and a patient sort of expression that made Dave feel like he’d just attempted to swallow a marble.

“Dave, what’s the method?” John asked, his voice soft.  Dave took the opportunity to make sure his voice was husky enough so that the answer came out with confidence he felt building inside of him.

“Well, I could always kiss it better. If… of course, you’re ready to receive that kind of treatment.” John froze at the words, and Dave freaked out when he did, wondering if he’d read the situation wrong and was terrified that he’d just thrown a wrench into their frailly maintained, only recently healed friendship. He looked at John’s face in growing worry, and noticed that his friend almost looked trapped. Dave opened his mouth to back out when John finally answered.

“Dave, I think I’d-” And John stopped his sentence there because he heard the door open behind him. The two separated at record speed, each running an awkward hand through their respective hair. Roxy was at the door, and seemed pleasantly surprised.

“Awesome, you guys are back! John, we were starting to get worried. Seriously, you two should tell someone with words if you’re planning on…” She looked at their faces, and awkward positions. “Oh shit, did I interrupt something?” John avoided Dave’s face and his cheeks darkened.

“Uh, that’s okay Roxy, we were just saying bye.” John said, and Dave hastily nodded along to the lie. Roxy still looked embarrassed, and offered them a quick, maternal smile.

“Well, I’ll let you guys wrap up. Nice to see you again, Dave.” She said, and quickly closed the door. John’s attention turned back to Dave, when the porch light flickered on. Both looked horrendously awkward, and after a minute of just standing there, John still wasn’t sure if he should laugh awkwardly or if he’d be asked to continue. Eventually, Dave just opened his jacket covered arms for a hug.

John crashed into him, and held Dave tightly. John found himself overcome again with the wish to not let go. The reality of what he’d face tomorrow was clear in his mind, and John just wished that he didn’t have to do it even more. Tears pricked the corners of his eyes as he remembered what he’d have to do, and what he’d ultimately caused. The end of the world was afoot, and all John wanted was to stay there, frozen in the moment.

“John?” Came Dave’s voice, and John responded.

“Dave.” He said, and Dave’s answer was hushed.

“Are you okay?” He asked, and John sighed.

“I- I’m going to miss you. When I go to camp, I mean.” He added, and Dave’s shoulders fell.

“Oh, yeah. Well, I’ll see you after that, right?” Dave asked, but John didn’t answer. “… John? I’ll see you after that, right?” He asked again, and suddenly, John pulled away. Tears were clear in his eyes, and he didn’t make a move to wipe them. He wasn’t sure when he’d see Dave again, and odds were that if he was trapped with Caliborn, then… John saddened at the thought.

“Bye, Dave.” John whispered, and twisted the doorknob. Dave tried to stop him, because he still had so many, too many questions and feelings and confusion, but John harmlessly blew him backwards. He opened and closed the door on Dave, then locked it. He hoped Dave wouldn’t try to come in, because he seriously didn’t know what he would do. John waited, but Dave didn’t come. He sighed, and went up the stairs. John was doing all that he could, and now, he was keeping his friends, keeping Dave safe. He refused to let himself think about Dave anymore. Even if the world crumbled around them, John could at least provide him with that.  If he was getting tortured tomorrow, he’d need to get a lot of sleep tonight.

_______________-

AN: It’s done. 16 Pages but it’s DONE. Also, did Roxy’s timing kill anyone else this chapter, or was that just me?

JAFNF Chapter 133

(Sunday, June 29 th )

Sollux’s text changed everything that Sunday morning. It was well after 10am, and Karkat’s blood froze when he got it. Since leaving John’s home, Karkat had been unendingly curious about this previously unheard of Camp. He could see the lie clearly in John’s signature, so when it was allegedly true, Karkat was suspicious. Although such an official document seemed hard to fake, Karkat couldn’t help but remain stubbornly doubtful of this place’s existence. He looked it up then, and even found a website with dates for the program and an available application for next year. Everything checked out, and Karkat almost decided that he was paranoid.

And then, he texted Sollux. His go to technical assistant and one of his best friends, Sollux was usually available to help him if he had a programming problem. That said, Karkat was usually too embarrassed to ask, but the situation was too weird, and delicate, for this to make sense. So, he asked him what Sollux could tell him about the website, and alleged biology program. He felt like it would be a waste of time, and yet, he wanted to see and settle his curiosity anyway.

The response was jarring. To summarize his message, Sollux pretty much said it was fake. The website hadn’t been made until yesterday, the total visitors capped at one person (Karkat), and the location of said camp didn’t make any sense. It was Betty Crocker, the cake company’s headquarters in Washington, of all places. The program clearly didn’t exist, the quote unquote camp didn’t exist, and it definitely lacked the crediblility to help anyone do better in regards to college. Once he’d received the information, Karkat thanked Sollux, and realized he had a call to make. He somehow doubted that John had been swindled so badly, which meant that the boy went to the lengths to make a fake document of approval, a fake website, and just happen to center it around the one corproration he hated. The knowledge made Karkat generate some questions, like Why the hell would he do that, though that wasn’t new, and a more important one- where was he now?

He realized that John probably wouldn’t be helpful if he’d gone to such lengths, which meant that Karkat had to go for the next best thing. So, he called Dave, and waited. On the final ring he answered, and Karkat remembered that he was supposedly getting anwers from John.

“How it went? Well, not bad. I mean, I’m still worried, but we’re better now.” Dave said, and Karkat responded in surprise.

“What was the reason?”

“I can’t say. But it was more than enough for me to forgive him- you were right about shit being bigger than we thought. I’m worried.” Dave responded, and Karkat frowned.

“But it was valid, you said?” Karkat asked, and Dave affirmed it.

“Yeah, it was. I’ve kind of been an idiot.” Karkat smirked at that.

“When are you not, fucknugget?”

“Hey, you were the one who attacked him in an alleyway.” Dave said, and Karkat countered.

“You were the one that’s in love with him. Which reminds me, how’s that going?” He asked, and he could hear the shift in Dave’s tone.

“Well, he kissed me on the eyes, but I think that was more of a friend thing. I kind of made a move? I mean, he was about to tell me if he was alright with me kissing him or not when Roxy walked in. I don’t know though, maybe I’ll ask him to finish what he was saying. Maybe not. I guess it depends on when I see him again.” Karkat was surprised at the words, and his inner romantic begged for details, but for once, he didn’t let it get the best of him. He needed to get down to business, and even if there were no Huns to defeat, there was a John to find.

“Okay, I’d actually really like to hear about that later, but first: did he seem weird at all, when you guys talked? I mean, besides  the lack of friendship awkwardness.” Karkat said, and he felt Dave’s tone shift again, to one of concern.

“Actually, yeah. John was crying when I left yesterday, but when I tried to find out why, he wouldn’t let me. I think… there’s something really wrong, or bad going on. His reaction was so weird. We were fine and hugging, and suddenly he just started crying, and I have no idea why. I decided not to push him on it this time though.” Dave said, and Karkat grew incredibly serious.

“Dave, listen to me. I need you to find John, right now. Do you know where he is?”  he asked, and he could hear the frown in Dave’s tone.

“Probably at his biology camp thing, or whatever the hell he’s doing. He sent me a picture at dropoff this morning, and there was a bus, and other people in it. Why do I need to find him?” Karkat’s eyes widened.

“What… the fuck? There were people, you said? And a bus? Fucking hell, Dave, we need to find him now!” Karkat responded, suddenly pacing.

“Why? What’s wrong?” Karkat took in a deep breath.

“Dave, I had Sollux check it out- that camp doesn’t exist.” He said solemly, and Dave froze. The words processed in the blonde’s mind, and he gripped the phone.

“Then… where the hell is he?” Dave asked, and Karkat thought through the situation, horror setting in. He swallowed slowly, and his voice came out strained, yet determined.

“We need to find him, now.”

_________-

As soon as his dad drove away in his car, the illusionary, camp-bound bus and students disappeared, and only one person remained- Lord English. He walked up to John, smiling.

“Shall we go?” He asked, and John looked up at him, sadness evident in his blue eyes.

“Yeah, Everyone thinks I’m going to a biology camp.” Caliborn’s grin turned wickedly delighted.

“Perfect. You’re all mine.” Caliborn took his hand, and in an instant, they were in a torture chamber of some sort. He immediately restrained John’s arms, and he was suspended midair. Caliborn stood with the riding crop that made John whimper- it would be forming gashes in his back soon. “Now, before we begin, I have a question.” He said, and John looked at him attentively. “Tell me, why did you only spend your last day with one person? I didn’t eavesdrop, but I noticed that you didn’t stay in regular contact with any other loved ones. I didn’t even see who it was. But, why? Wouldn’t it have made sense to divide your time equally?” He asked, and John swallowed.

“It was Dave. I wanted it to be with him, as a thank you, for everything… and goodbye.” John said, and Caliborn frowned.

“I don’t understand, how does that make sense?” He asked, his eyebrows knitted. “Unless, you love him? I was told that the emotion prompts people to make such decisions.” He questioned, and John reddened in embarrassment.

“Love him? No, he’s my best friend!” He almost seemed defensive, and Lord English watched it with interest.

“Odd. Tell me, what is being with him like? And, what feelings would compel you to make those decisions?” He asked, and John shrugged as much as he could in the situation, a smile falling on his face.

“I missed him.” John said, and Caliborn’s eyebrows raised.

“Is he… providing you with something you need?” He asked, and John’s head tilted a little, in confusion. He didn’t understand his line of questioning, and Lord English sighed. “Never mind. Sorry, that wasn’t on topic.” He said, but John answered quickly.

“No, no. I was just confused. I like spending time with him, and I haven’t done it in a while, so I missed him.” John explained, and Lord English looked back at him in surprise.

“Really? Hm, our species truly are different then. For me, missing something is the same as what I believe you’d call craving, or wanting it. Like, when I said I missed you, it was because I missed the strength you provided me with, and I need you.  But, I would assume that this is different?” Caliborn asked, and John nodded.

“Yeah, I really care about him.” Lord English looked at him seriously.

“You care about him… interesting. Can you describe what it’s like?” John thought about it. The smile returned to his face.

“It’s like, I really like being around him, but more than that. Or, I feel safe, and easier with him, I guess.” Caliborn frowned.

“Safter with him. Like, an alliance? Or a guard?” He asked, but John shook his head.

“No. I mean- yeah, no, it’s more than that. It’s like… if I had the choice to be around anyone, I would choose him. Or if you just really enjoy having someone that’s there for you, and you really care about them too? Like, things will probably be okay if Dave’s there. I trust him, and like him, and enjoy being around him. He’s nice, and he makes me laugh, and feel safe. I… is that helping?” John asked, and Lord English seemed to consentrate.

“I… feel as if my closest relationship to that would be with my guardian. He always preferred my sister, but he was there for me, and raised me, even through my likely intolerable childhood.” John frowned at that.

“No, I feel like that’s more like a parent. You said it was like the role he had in life, right?” John asked, and English nodded. “No, it’s a little different, but you’re on the right track.”

“Is it an admiration? I’ve admired others before.” Caliborn said, and John paused.

“ Kind of? I mean, I do, but there’s a lot more to it. When I’m with Dave, it’s like… like I’m fully me. Like more than just being myself, I think I really feel more complete when he’s there.” John said, and suddenly, Lord English sighed. He shook his head.

“Cherub relationships, and emotions are completely different. I believe my sister grew to have friends, but we’re really built to be isolated creatures. In fact, her development of relationships verses my independency may have been what made me stronger, as a cherub. Actually, the only thing that weakens me now is an attatchment. But, It will suffice to say that we’re completely different, John. I think the only thing that’s actually comparable to what you said, in my life, is my complicated relationship with you.” John’s face twisted, and Caliborn actually laughed. “And I’m sure that’s inaccurate, from your reaction. I suppose that I just wasn’t built to understand such things, but I’ve always been curious about it.”

“Can cherubs love others? You asked me if I loved him earlier.” John added, and Caliborn sighed.

“I’m not sure. I doubt that I ever have, but it has been described to me in great detail. I was told that I would know what it felt like if I ever did, so I assume that I can, I just haven’t. My sister may have though- I believe she felt what would be called a familial love for our shared guardian, if I’m not mistaken.” English said, and John’s eyebrows knit in concern.

“Did you?” He asked, and his abuser sighed.

“I believe I maintained some sort of relationship with him, even if it would be better described as a business relationship. While he provided my sister with all of the affection she craved, I noticed that he fell into a different role with me. I believe he may have even been subservient to me, when I was old enough to begin making said decisions. He became like a henchman of sorts. He always complied with my words, and didn’t scold me, or mold me into becoming a kind person, as he did with my sister. Whether it was because my alignment was evil, and he knew the task would be fruitless, or something else, I was never sure.” He said, and John looked back at him.

“You said he liked your sister more?” Calibron shrugged.

“I would assume so. He coddled her, held her, and cared for her unendingly. He did not provide me with the same treatment.” Lord English’s gaze seemed consentrated now.

“Did you want him to do that to you?” The words came out soft, and Caliborn’s head snapped up as he answered.

“No. I would have detested it. I just assume that he liked her more.” He said, and John looked back at him, curiosity on the edge of his features.

“Did he ever say that?” John asked, and English denied it.

“No.” John bit his lip, and looked to the side.

“Then… maybe he didn’t really prefer your sister over you.” Lord English raised an eyebrow.

“You think he liked me more?”

“No, he may not have had a preference. I don’t really know a lot about cherubs, or guardians or anything, but it sounds like he just became what you both needed to reach maturity. He was like a parent, on human standards, for your sister, because she was good, right? Maybe she just wanted that kind of relationship out of him. And for you, he became your henchman, I guess, or something, because that would have been better for you. I don’t know your guardian or anything, but… well, it sounds like he cared about you a lot, from here. He sounds like he put aside however he may have wanted to act around you so that he could raise you both correctly. You never really wanted all of that affection and stuff anyway, right?” John asked, and Lord English thought about it.

“Hm.” He said, and he seemed contented. “I’ve never considered it. Thank you.” He said, and John gave him a half smile. “Are all of you humans this proficient in analyzing relations?” He asked, and John shrugged.

“Some are better than others. Like, my friend Karkat- he’s really good at it. I’m pretty sure you could ask him about any problem with any relationship and he’d figure out a way to stop it. Even his own, which is why he doesn’t have many of these issues.” John said, and lord English nodded.

“Karkat. I see, you two became friends. We worked together, at one point.” He said, and John frowned.

“I… remember.” He said, and Lord English felt an odd rush of displeasure at the change in his captive’s tone. Without really understanding his actions, Caliborn searched for a way to remedy it.

“Would you like to contact him?” John looked surprised. He blinked.

“I… yes? I didn’t think I would be allowed to.” John responded, and Lord English quickly covered for himself.

“He believes that you’re at a camp of some sort, right? It would be normal to retain contact with close friends and family. It may even alleviate suspicion. I believe it would be beneficial for you to talk to him.” Lord English said, and John couldn’t understand why, but a confused sort of happiness came to his face anyway.

“Okay, well uh, thank you. I would like to talk to him.”  Lord English almost looked uncomfortable, but a little more relaxed.

“Right, anything beneficial to the plan. Tell me, how did you and Karkat become friends?” He asked, and John leaned back a little. He brightened as he thought about it.

“It was right after I became a hunter! My group followed him out into the desert because we thought that he was Dave and trying to kill me. It’s uh, hard to explain, but it turned out to be a huge misunderstanding, and everything’s okay now. He explained why he’d been doing what he was doing, I forgave him, and we just kind of became friends after that.” John said, shrugging. “So now we hang out week, or we did, before we um… well, stuff happened.” John said, and looked to the side. Then, he looked up hopefully. “But maybe we can fix things if I talk to him.” John added, and Lord English felt a tug at his lips.

“Good luck. So, do you ‘miss’ him as well?” He asked, and John nodded.

“Yeah, I do. It’s not nice not having your best feelings organizer and one of your closest friends to talk to.” Lord English heard his words, and decided he’d try feeding off them. Perhaps, the thought of his lost friendship would spark some form of misery in John. However, John seemed mainly optimistic now, so English didn’t expect anything. So, when the gigantic cherub actually felt the spark of fulfillment, he was puzzled.

“John. How are you feeling?” He asked, and looked at the boy. “Honestly.” John bit his cheek.

“Uh, fine I guess? Hopeful, that I’ll get to talk to Karkat, and fix things with him. Why?” Caliborn took in a sharp breath. Odd.

“What… makes you happiest?” He asked, and John thought about it.

“My friends and family?” John wondered where Lord English was going with this, and why he’d been acting so relaxed today.

“Tell me about them. How do they make you feel?” John thought about it.

“Good. They make me feel happy, and they’re nice to be around. I love them, and they love and support me. They’re always there if I want to talk, and like to help make me feel better if I’m going through something. They’re nice, and kind, and make me feel warm inside- why?” Caliborn tried feeding from him. He sucked part of his blood signature in, and felt like he was midway to satisfaction. It felt new, and different, this source of food. And yet, it was still John.

“Fascinating.” Caliborn said, and John looked at him.

“What’s fascinating?” He asked, and Lord English gave him a look that seemed to come from new eyes.

“It’s strange. I believe… I believe that I’m feeding off your positivity.” John’s breath caught in his throat.

“What does that mean?” He asked, and Lord English thought about it. He snapped, and John was free from his chains. The riding crop was gone. John stood in front of him, and waited for a response.

“It means…. That I no longer need to torture you. If I’ve somehow gained the ability to feed off your happiness, I can get what I want, and that same fulfillment I crave, by making you happy.” He looked away. “Of course, I’ll need to test this. Understanding the parameters of what’s happened will be essential. I’ll need time, and to speak with my Guardian, and I’ll need understanding.” He seemed to make a decision. “Until then, you’ll remain here. I suppose I’ll accommodate for more happiness and less misery. You’ll have more access to your mother while I learn. John, you said you were interested in biology, yes?” He asked, and John nodded. “Would you know anyone that would have knowledge on why this is happening?” John thought about it, but frowned.

“I don’t want to tell you. You’re still keeping me here, Lord English.” John said, and Caliborn’s eyes narrowed. His hands tightened on the riding crop.

“John, I would advise you to remember our deal. I don’t kill your loved ones in exchange for good behavior. You remember this, correct?” John frowned.

“I didn’t agree to tell you everything.” Caliborn leaned in, suddenly harsh. John needed to remember his place.

“And I haven’t agreed to stop torturing you. Me feeding off your happiness doesn’t mean that I can’t still enjoy your misery, and trust me, I am far from satisfied. If you don’t tell me now, I’m more than willing to whip the information out of you.” A trill of fear passed through John, and he looked down as he answered.

“Feferi. Or my Denzien, Typheus.” John mumbled, and Caliborn nodded, relaxed again.

“See, it wasn’t hard. I’ll speak with Feferi, I don’t like Denziens. Until then, would you like to stay with your mother?” He asked, and John nodded. He was eager to see her, and talk to her, along with Karkat. “Alright. Then I release you to that, for now.” John could hardly believe the situation as Caliborn teleported him back, and for the first time since he’d learned Caliborn’s true plans, he allowed himself to feel hope that things would be better. Of course, John knew future Dave and Vriska had a plan, but he wasn’t completely sure how it world work, especially since Caliborn’s deal. But, now he had the one thing he’d been lacking, and hopefully, things would get better soon.

____________________-

AN: I’VE MISSED THIS CHAPTER LENGTH OH WOW. No seriously, this was so refreshing. It looks like things are looking up for John and the gang, right? And LE background is fun, so yay!

JAFNF Chapter 135

(Sunday, June 29 th )

That afternoon, Jake sat idly in the living room while Dirk spoke next to him. He flew in and out of focus with what the man said, his mind partially between daydreams, somewhat mulling over a summer coaching strategy, and partially listening to Dirk’s ranting. Today’s topic was something he’d been upset over for days, but had been reinforced since yesterday. Said topic, Jake remembered, was John, and his younger brother. Jake never personally understood why Dirk was so mad at this. Perhaps it was the personal time he’d put into making John and his younger sibling more likely to date. Maybe it was the fact the John knew… pretty much everything Dave would do for him, and yet, he’d pushed Dave away anyway. Dirk’s particular spike of anger came from the fact that Dave had clearly forgiven John, and even retuned to being perpetually worried for his safety. Whatever the case, it pissed Dirk off, and he made it clear.

“I just don’t understand why he’d forgive him! I thought he was over him, and then I find out that Karkat’s dragging him back to go see him? According to Dave, John didn’t even really give him a reason for why he’d treated him like replaceable shit, and now he’s forgiven him?” Jake nodded along. Truly, he had other things to think about than teenaged romance problems, and had no intention to stick his nose in past where it needed to be. Once he’d assured himself that Dave was okay, and John was intent on not accepting his help, there wasn’t much he could do. Jake washed his hands of the situation in its entirety. If they needed help, he’d support them, but Jake was sure that every teenager had to go through some  form of drama, and this was just theirs. “I mean, that doesn’t even make sense? And John pulled some cute move on him, or whatever, and now Dave’s just gone back to whatever they are. You know what I think, Jake?” He asked, and Jake resisted the urge to sigh.

“What do you think, Dirk?”

“I feel like he knows how Dave feels, and he’s just using him. But Dave’s not that replaceable! He’s not replaceable! John should treat him like Dave treats John, or better, or at least have the respect to tell him why he’s such an ass. Just let him know that he’s being used, you know?”

“Yes, that would be good.” He said absentmindedly, his thoughts on the school’s football team. As the assistant coach for the summer, he had a plethora of duties, including designating their morning workout routines. Which, he thought through now. Would adding 30 “burpies” be too much for the boys during the summer? He knew they needed to stay fit, but it seemed really excessive…

“Exactly! Just tell someone when it’s happening. But I don’t get why Dave ended up getting manipulated like that, of all people. And by John!”

“Very odd.” Jake responded. Perhaps he could take those out and just implement more bag drills, or do ten… Oh dear, Dirk was frowning at him now. That couldn’t be good. He needed to invest more into what he was saying, but it was hard. After all, he had double the things to distract him, now that his eyes were on his boyfriend. He was busy enough multitasking as it was, but Jake could spend hours thinking about Dirk. The man was eccentric, and yet, so reserved. Scientists of every caliber could spend decades wondering what was really happening under that skull. At least, he knew that he loved him. He’d said it multiple times, and shown it just as often. Jake liked how they just hung out sometimes too. It didn’t always have to be a date with Dirk. Sometime’s they’d just ‘chill out’, an activity Jake hadn’t really done in quite some time. Well, he’d chill out with Roxy sometimes, yes, but never really with other guys, since college anyway. Some days, it was nice to just hang out with Dirk, and enjoy the occasional kiss, or just talk.

But then, there were other days. Days when he’d kiss him and not stop, or one would take the other out on dates. They’d tried many things since laser tag- which, by the way, had to be the funnest first date he’d ever been on, so much that he didn’t mind that they went in for the kiss so early, even if he usually waited. He’d seen that oh-so-styled blonde hair messy and sweaty, noticed where he shaved and where he didn’t. Jake was even fortunate enough to get a picture of it when he’d first woken up in the morning, with his dull orange eyes and a not completely put together masked face. Of course, he had to run afterwards, and it launched them into a ridiculous, butt hurting, morning after game of hide and seek, but Jake was glad to say that he still had his picture. And he treasured it.

Jake had also learned that Dirk had a strange method of flirting. Sometimes, he’d do the usual somewhat charged comments and long, romantic declarations, but he’d change it up from time to time too. There were instances that were strangely gorey, and others that were just odd. There were things that made Jake wonder sometimes, if behind the mask of a man who genuinely loved him lied something else entirely, but he dismissed it. It was evident, obvious even, that Dirk cared for him deeply, even if his mannerisms were a little strange. Jake remembered the time he’d walked home to his room, and he’d arranged quite a few candy skulls into the shape of a large, and halfway filled in heart. The skulls, with their genuinely creepy design, sent a trill of fear through Jake’s heart when he saw them, until he realized that it was a gift, of sorts. After all, he had mentioned that he liked skulls, that one time. And that was for their six month anniversary. In the end, he knew that it was meant to be sweet, and he appreciated it, but it was weird having so many candy skulls assorted in his home.

Of course, that wasn’t all there was to his boyfriend. They had their fights, and Jake was more than aware that he dragged Dirk out on nature walks. Still, since he’d begun to wear shorts as he did them (it was summer, he had bug spray), Jake noticed far fewer complaints out of his boyfriend. The man had an obvious appreciation for his butt, made apparent by the not completely hidden stares at his body, and his fixation with it whenever they were naked. Jake switched between flattered and appalled by the actions on a daily basis, which Jake knew was annoying, but he couldn’t help how he felt, and he knew Dirk had his issues too.

The first and foremost of which was being clingy. He’d noticed that the man seemed to lay off a little, in more recent times, but it was still kind of obvious. Still, Jake wasn’t sure he could say it to him and feel natural. Then, there was the way he’d get so into things that weren’t his issue, specifically involving Dave. Of course, it was probably an effect of being the boy’s guardian- that is, a responsibility that no parent, or brother should have had to bear. Being a guardian was no easy task, according to Dirk, and they spent the vast majority of Dave’s childhood on the run.  He always had to know everyone Dave talked to, in addition to being a teacher, role model, and friend for his sibling. If their parents hadn’t made ridiculous figures, in the porn industry no less, Dirk highly doubted that he would have been able to care for Dave. So, of course, Jake understood that he was so caught up in Dave’s drama, but at the same time, Jake wished he wasn’t. The fixation couldn’t have been healthy, and certainly not as entertaining as anything else they could have been doing.

But despite his quirks and his random reservedness and his awkwardness, at times, Jake knew that he did love Dirk. How could he not? There were things not to like, but there was so much to like about him that he didn’t mind them, so much. After these months of dating, Jake had begun to actually consider that they may get married. That was far in the uncharted future, of course, but it was still something to think about. Jake didn’t think he’d mind spending his time with someone like Dirk, or coming home to his presence. Of course, he knew what he’s be dealing with too- Machine oil in places he couldn’t imagine, or long, sleepless nights where the man would be finishing projects, or doing patents, or whatever he wanted. He knew Dirk’s diet was appalling at best. When the man did eat, it was Doritos, and during the few times when he didn’t have orange poison- sorry, pop in his reach, he drank kool-aid. Unhealthy diets would practically kill Jake, who lived on mountain air and hikes and fresh vegetables, and of course guns. He liked those too.

But would living with Dirk be so bad? No matter when Jake found him, his hygiene was impeccable, and he had to maintain those abs somehow. Said abs were incredible, and it didn’t hurt that he was handsome. Plus, he had an uncanny ability to make Jake feel special. Whatever he did, be it weird flirting trick or just one of his quirks, he managed to make Jake feel Important. Like what he said mattered, even when he was speaking like a quote, corny, old, fake british guy. Even better, Dirk liked him for more than his body, which was more than Jake could say for a lot of people. He knew he could be quite oblivious, at times, and he definitely wasn’t the best at reading social cues, but when Jake was talking about things he found important, or his interests, he knew that Dirk’s eyes didn’t stray past his mouth. Dirk could have been mid making blueprints, and he’d still be just as focused on every word Jake said. It meant a lot that Dirk took him seriously, even when… well, even when others wouldn’t. And with that thought alone, Jake tuned back into what he was saying.

“But I just don’t know. I feel like something’s wrong, between that college girl and John, and those stupid indecipherable writings. And I don’t know why Dave would just take him back, even as his friend. It’s like something’s getting manipulated here, but I don’t know what.” Jake frowned. He could tell that he seemed frustrated, and angry.

“Hey, I know that a lot’s amiss.” He said, and sighed. “But, for Dave, I believe he can handle it. Don’t get down about it- he’s happy again, yes?” Jake asked, and Dirk nodded.

“Yeah. But John shouldn’t have so much control over his happiness anyway, and I’m scared that John’s just messing with him, and benefitting at this point. I know it doesn’t sound like him, which is why I trusted him in the first place, but his actions just make me wonder. He’s had a complete monopoly over Dave’s emotions for the past few weeks, and he’s turned him from happy to angry in an instant. John should have been the one reaching out to Dave, not the other way around. And now I know, or I feel like, Dave’s made his feelings apparent. What if he rejects him- or, accepts him, and uses him? John was the first person he opened up to about anything, and he knew him over the internet. I’m worried, that he’ll turn out like anyone else who’s taken an interest in either of us.” He said, and Jake frowned. “Besides you!” He added quickly. Jake gave him an unimpressed look.

“Sure.”

“Jake, I didn’t mean you.” Jake felt a smile tear at his lip, and it grew.

“I know, thank you.”

“But, I mean… I feel like something is wrong!” Dirk continued, and sighed. “I wish I could figure out that weird periodic table again, or find out why John’s messing with my brother, or anything. I just feel useless.” He admitted, flopping back against the couch. Jake looked back at him, worry clear on his features. He decided he’d offer a little advice- after all, if it could help him, he wouldn’t mind offering.

“Have you considered just allowing Dave to button up and deal with it?” He questioned, and Dirk looked at him.

“What do you mean?” Jake thought about how he’d phrase his words.

“Well, you said it yourself- he’s happy now. I don’t know if there’s any reason for you to be so bonkers about the event! If he starts getting dischuffed enough about it to ask you, maybe then you could get worried. But until then, I’d say let him manage it on his own. Dave’s a strong bloke, and he knows you’ll always be here for him, but if John’s really scruffing around with his heart for his own enjoyment- which, I doubt, by the way- then I say Dave would learn more from figuring it out himself. Be there for him if he’s sad, but worrying about it now is a load of rubbish, if you ask me.” Jake said, and Dirk frowned.

“But how would he know? He’s never had to deal with it.” Dirk said, and Jake sighed.

“Then it’s a bloody good time for him to start. Let the old chap make his own decisions sometime, you know? You can’t just launch him into the world knowing bloody nothing.” Jake responded, and Dirk frowned.

“I… I guess, yeah. I still wish I knew what was up with that though.” Jake put a comforting hand on his shoulder.

“No worries, mate. We’re all a little curious, but it’s not really any of our problems, is it? Until one of them asks us for help, I’d say it would be best to just let them figure it out. So… no more worrying about this, alright?” Jake asked, and Dirk found himself nodding to his words. “Good. Feel better, Dirk?” He asked, and Dirk thought about it.

“No. There’s still those writings. I don’t understand why I can’t crack this.” Dirk said, and Jake sighed. Neither of them had been able to understand any of it.

“Would you like to take another look?” He asked, and Dirk shook his head.

“We’ve already looked at it a million times, I could probably draw it out by now.” Dirk responded, and Jake looked at him, earnestly.

“Well, who’s to say we won’t get it at a million and one? I say we give it another crack. If they could read it, I’m sure we can too. And, it’s not like we have anything to lose if we try!” He added, and Dirk sighed.

“But...” He sighed, realizing that no excuse would be reasonable, and Jake was right. They didn’t have anything to lose. A few weeks prior, Dirk, Jake and Roxy had all returned to see what they’d find, but left John at home. As a result, they knew he’d be safe in case things went badly. Both Jake and Roxy had been sure to note how ferocious he’d been at training, and how defeated he seemed whenever it ended. Still, John wasn’t Dirk’s favorite topic right now, with how he’d been acting around his sibling- and, he was letting go of it.

When they returned to that mountain laboratory, they found the area deserted. Even the beds, where monster dust used to sit, were gone. No one was present within the facility, and only the things permanently built in remained. Roxy and Jake had been checking up on Latula too, and making sure she was okay. She said she’d been doing fine, and that the only real changes had been her lips. She also had a hard time smelling things, but she seemed okay from there. As a result, they hadn’t been able to learn anything new by returning. However, they did have all of the papers and files Dirk had taken pictures of with his glasses when they first went there, and Dirk pulled those up.

“Yeah, this makes no sense. There doesn’t seem to be anything relating these symbols, and no repetition.” Jake put his hand out for the sunglasses, where the images were projected. He put them over his eyes, and was silent for a few seconds. “I have no idea what this is- and I don’t know if you can read it either.

“Day 14 results, few changes so far, body temperature remains the same. Subject’s lips and eyes are beginning to change, on track for Ms. Crocker’s treatment.” Jake said, and Dirk looked at him.

“What?” He asked, puzzled, and Jake turned towards his boyfriend. He didn’t understand how, but…

“I know how to read this.” He said, and Dirk had to confirm that he was hearing him right.

“You know how to read this.”

“Yes.”

“You didn’t know how to read this any of the other times we looked at it.” Dirk added, and Jake shook his head, his voice a mixture of confused and upset.

“No. I didn’t. I bloody promise I didn’t.” he said, and Dirk looked at him, trying to judge if he was joking. “I don’t understand how.”

“Yeah, neither do I.” They were silent for a few minutes. He wasn’t joking. Jake could feel it too. It was like the language was something he’d studied, and learned, not something he’d known all of his life. He couldn’t recall a memory of doing such things, but… “Well, what else does it say?” Jake read it, again, with semi ease. It was like it was a foreign language to him, or something.

“That’s the end of this note. Uh, The next picture you took seems to be… records? Medical, I believe. And the one after that is weird. It’s like, a list of some sort- research, maybe? It’s listing heart rates, observations. They say that she hasn’t… developed wings, and seem to use preemptive treatment one, whatever that is. I believe that it’s talking about Latula.” Jake said, and frowned. “But Mrs. Crocker? Who in the blazes would that be? I don’t know what these treatments are. And I’d certainly like to know why I know this now. It’s odd.” He stated, and Dirk sighed.

“Fucking odd doesn’t cover it, but if it’s helpful, we don’t need to worry about it.” He announced, and Jake frowned.

“I’m still worried! I need to know what’s causing this.” He announced, but looked down. “Though, I suppose I should go about translating. It’s like reading a second language, but I’ve studied it a lot. Strange, really.” He said, and Dirk found his brows furrowing.

“Hm. What does uh- ich libe dich mean?” He asked, and Jake offered him a confused, yet happy smile.

“I love you too, Dirk. Why do you ask?” Jake asked, and Dirk raised his eyebrows.

“Testing something. Can I have my glasses back?” Jake gave them to him without complaint, and Dirk went into Google translate. “Hey, could you translate um-  Sie schauen heiß heute? I don’t know if I said that right.” Jake shook his head.

“No? I don’t speak German.” The response prompted a raised eyebrow.

“But you knew ich libe dich?” Jake crossed his arms.

“Yes. I know I love you in a few languages, but it doesn’t mean I’m fluent. I just know the phrases.” He said defensively, and Dirk smirked.

“That’s adorable. But I was seeing if you translated other languages too. Apparently, you didn’t just wake up with the power to translate, but I had to see.” Jake felt his cheeks flush a little at that, and he sighed.

“I don’t understand why this has happened, or what the limits are- but, since I can do this, I’d bloody well like to help. In fact, we should get that old book from Jade! Maybe, I can read it now.” He said, and Dirk nodded. He stood, and Jake did the same. They needed that book.

And they got it. Jade eagerly tagged along with them as Jake began to translate it, and now the girl sat next to Dirk on the couch, taking notes while Dirk recorded Jake’s voice. Jake pulled up a chair and read the book to them. He was kind enough to skip over introductions, and as he read, he added his own comments.

“I think this was written by your grandfather, Jade.” She looked up.

“What makes you say that? Did it have his name in there?” She questioned, and he shook his head.

“No. But it’s all in first person, and I can see how it references things from your island. It seems like it contains theories. It looks like it starts with dream bubbles, and expands from there.” He flipped through. “It talks about natural access points, then… odd, space and void.” Dirk looked up.

“Can you start from, uh, what the hell a dream bubble is?” He asked ,and Jake closed the book lightly on his finger.

“Oh, that’s the accumulation of every physical location of every creature in existence, and where people go when they sleep or die, if I’m not mistaken.” He said, and blinked. He looked down. Dirk looked surprised.

“How…” Jake looked up suddenly, his face upset.

“I don’t know. I have no idea how I knew that.” He said, genuinely distressed. Jade and Dirk exchanged looks, and Jade’s expression became one of worry.

“Are you okay, uncle Jake?” The man let out a long, drawn out sigh.

“I don’t know.” He answered truthfully. “It’s like, these are things I knew, and spent years studying, but I only realized it now.” Dirk frowned.

“Is it like you forgot them?” Jake shook his head.

“No. It’s as if it was common knowledge for me the entire time, like basic addition. It’s like it’s just there, like things I learned in primary school. Except, I didn’t learn this. I don’t understand why. And it’s not like I know what to make myself remember, because, you know, I haven’t forgotten! It’s like it was put in there by an outside force, but not me.” Jake said, and put his head in his hands. “That doesn’t make sense.” He said, shaking his head in frustration. Dirk sood next to him then.

“It’s okay.” He said quietly, and Jake looked back at him.

“No it’s not! How am I to go on, not knowing what I know, or how, or why?” Jake asked, and Dirk sighed.

“Jake, we can figure this out.” He said, and Jake crossed his arms.

“Well, I don’t rightly see how.” Jade spoke up then.

“You could ask questions. You, uh, recall stuff when people ask you questions, right?” Jade asked, but Jake shook his head.

“But still, how would we ever know when I know all of these things?” Jade frowned.

“Uh, you said it was like the information was put in by an outside force. Who was that?” Jake thought about it, and frowned.

“I don’t know.” He said, and sighed. “I guess it may not work.” Dirk spoke up beside him.

“Wait, no, that’s a good idea Jade. We just have to talk around it a little. How could someone transfer information into someone else’s head?” Jake found he could answer.

“Well, currently, without just teaching them, there’s a few spells that could get the job done. Humans can’t access them, but a variety of supernaturals can.”

“Give me some species that can use magic?” He asked, and Jake shrugged.

“Most. Generally not ones that are directly from human lineage or have transfer type powers, like vampires, let’s say, but the list is large. Everything from consorts to denizens, really.” He said, and Dirk frowned.

“Do we know of anyone that would have access to a spell like this?” He asked, and Jake thought about it.

“Well, Dolorosa may- she’s been a guardian for a while, it wouldn’t be unheard of for her to learn some magic, but then again, I doubt it. Then there’s… oh! Her friend, Calliope, the cherub. Her main method of attack was magic, if you remember.” Jake thought about it more. “And typically, cherubs live for centuries, and that’s even before they’ve done their maturation fight. She would have had plenty of time to gather such information. But then, we’d need to know why.” Jake said, thinking aloud.

“Why would she give you all of this knowledge, so randomly?” Jake thought about it.

“It’s… hm. Judging from what I saw after she fell asleep, her regular form seemed to be in late adolescence, from the brightness of her cheeks and the shape of her skull. It’s… possible then, that she was nearing her time for maturation. In which, if she lost her fight and died, the knowledge would be sent to her twin instead.” Jake said, and Jade’s eyes widened.

“Wait, Calliope’s dead?” Jade asked, tears in the corners of her eyes. She hadn’t checked in with Tavros recently, or heard from Calliope, but she still regarded her as a dear friend.

“No. I mean, she may be dead. It’s a necessary part of Cherub growth. When they reach an old enough age, they fight their other half, and gain their power once one wins. The two twins must be bipolar opposites, and good and evil. Whichever wins gets access to growing up, along with the wealth of power that any full cherub has. It’s a necessity for them to reach adulthood. Quite sad, really, but it’s the nature of things, I suppose.”

“But… I didn’t know.” Jade said quietly, and Jake was quick to jump in.

“Well, Jade, we don’t know if this is it. We don’t know if she, erm, expired. While it’s natural that one twin died, she could have beaten her brother, who knows!” He tried to reassure her, and Jade sighed.

“Maybe.” She looked upset, but her head snapped back. “But back on topic! You think she gave it to you?” Jade questioned, and Dirk raised an eyebrow.

“But then, why wouldn’t she want her twin to have it, and give it to you instead? If you’re a human, and can’t use magic, you couldn’t pass it on.” Jake shrugged.

“Maybe she just didn’t want her twin to have it. They’re opposites, after all. Likely not the closest of friends. But you’re right.” Jade brightened.

“Ooh! What if it’s because you’re a teacher, and she wanted you to pass it on?” She asked, and Jake thought about it.

“Maybe, but I don’t know how I’d bloody well do it if I don’t even know what I know. And there’s also the idea that she would have passed some of her magic into me, by default. But I’m certainly not feeling magical. I wish I knew.” Jake said, and Dirk shrugged.

“Maybe she could tell you?” He asked, and Jake thought about it.

“Maybe.” He said, and thought about it. “But if she’s… you know, dead, and that’s why she chose to give the power to me-”

“Didn’t you say people went to dreambubbles after they died? Could we talk to her?”

“Hm. Yes, and they’re technically navigable. We’d need to find her, assuming that she’s not living, though that’s a difficult task for a multitude of reasons. And yet, I think we may be able to! But first, we should get back to this book. I’ll skim for important information- especially void and space theories, they seem interesting, but ask me if you have any questions.” He said, and Dirk took a breath, and nodded. He ignored how teacherly he sounded, and tapped the side of his glasses. It was story time with uncle Jake, and Dirk could practically feel it. By the end of this, he’d be closer to figuring out what was going on.

__________________----

AN: CUT! So, this would count as a teaser towards Jade’s space powers, which she’ll get eventually, and a little of Jake’s hope powers, but don’t expect much there. I don’t think I’ll ever bring them into frutition, but if I ever wanted a sequel, Jake finding Calliope’s ghost and getting her to explain would be one of the things I’d do. Or, have something chronicaling Jane’s adventures.


	27. 136-144

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> PGS 1,211-1310  
> Can I get my own 50 shades of grey movie now except it's just child appropriate lgbt vampires

JAFNF Chapter 136

PM had been enjoying her employment at the post office. The beginning of summer meant that she drew ever closer to the start of election season, which meant that the mayor had been busy. She’d enjoyed the company of her coworkers, and liked not having to deal with any supernatural issues. The woman checked in on Jade, every now and then, but she hadn’t seemed to need her help. Her duty as an improntou guardian was over, and with the end of that brought the end of a lot of stress. Jade was alright now, and while she enjoyed her time with her, it was nice to finally move on.

And of course, Jack found it within himself to disrupt it, again. It seemed that the man always knew when she was finally relaxed, and came back to mess with her afterwards. The message was short, and simple. He had information she may want, and wanted to meet her, and talk. She didn’t know why he kept finding reasons to associate with her, but his mafia-like demeanor and their history always put her on edge, when he was there. Still, she knew she’d regret it more if she didn’t at least try to hear what he wanted to say, so that was how she found herself riding over to his apartment that evening.

She supposed that she could have run over there just as easily, or flown if it was really nessessary, but something about her encounters with him made her feel a need for professionalism. She felt like she had to look adequate, speak well, and be on top of herself, or else she’s lose her edge. In truth, dealing with Jack wasn’t half as bad as it could have been. At least he was polite- but he still put her on edge. So, when he let her into his dwelling and found dinner prepared, PM felt herself stiffening.

“Jack,” she signed, and his eyes watched her hands intently. “You had information?” He rolled his eye.

“Nice to see you  too, Green. Would you like to take a seat?” He asked, and she glared.

“Don’t waste my time, Jack.” She responded, and Jack’s eye narrowed.

“Look, I’m trying to be nice here, doll. You wanted to hear from me, so listen.” He said, not without a hint of irritation. The woman weighed her options. With a sigh, she took a seat, and Jack seemed satisfied. The man had a bottle of wine on the table, and she stared at him, unimpressed. Jack looked at her. “Wine?” He offered, and she shook her head at that. She needed a clear head when she dealt with this man, and she wanted to get to the meat of the meeting, now. “Fine, fine. You like steak, right?” He asked, and her eyes widened.

“What is this?” She demanded, signing, and Jack sighed.

“Me, trying to be nice.” She looked at him, suspiciously.

“What do you want from me?” She signed, and he looked appalled.

“You really think I couldn’t just be doing this to be nice? Come on Greene. Let a man try to bury the hatchet, huh?” He asked, and she looked at his face. Eyes narrowing, she frowned.

“Is that really all?” She signed, and Jack sighed.

“No.” He responded. “But it’s part of it. A big part. I know you still don’t like me, and I’m not trying to get back with you, like some loser, but come on. Let me try.” She considered her options, then sighed. It wasn’t like she had anything to lose.

“I like steak.” She signed, and Jack looked surprised as he read her words, but walked to go get it anyway. As he left the area, PM couldn’t tell if she’d regret her decisions or not. Still, he hadn’t told her everything yet, and she needed as much information on the situation as she could get.  When he’d served her, then himself, PM decided that he probably hadn’t drugged the food, and thanked him for it.

“No problem, doll.” They ate for a while, and Jack sighed. “So, how you been doin’, Pear? I know I see you around, but what’s happening? Been up to much?” He questioned, and she decided to answer.

“I’m back in mail delivery.” She signed. “It’s made me happy, so far. I check in on Jade sometimes, and she’s doing well.”

“Really? Good. It was nice of you, stepping up to be her guardian, like you said. She still hasn’t shown any signs of- well, you know?” He asked, and PM shook her head.

“She’s just a normal werewolf. I’m glad that it didn’t work.” PM signed, and Jack looked down.

“Good. I never should have hurt that girl- I regret it.” He said quietly, and he surprised PM. The woman didn’t expect this, but she found herself continuing the conversation.

“What about you?” Jack actually began to smile.

“Well, for starters, I decided that I’d pop the question, sooner or later.” He said, and PM’s eyes widened.

“To Michelle? Michelle paint?” She’d signed quickly, and Jack smirked.

“I don’t know who else.” PM smiled in genuine surprise.

“Congratulations! When do you plan to do it?” She signed, and he answered.

“Soon. I’m thinking I’ll just take her somewhere nice. Private though, you know. No pressure for her. We’ve been datin’ almost three years now, I thought it was about time. I already have a ring picked out and everything. Want to see?” He questioned, and she nodded. He stood to get it, and showed it to her. PM smiled.

“Beautiful.” She signed, and he smiled.

“Thanks. You’re the first person other than Wyatt I’ve told about it, so keep it quiet. And say, Wyatt still hasn’t worked up to asking you out has he?” PM’s mouth lifted in amusement.

“Oh, Wyatt. It’s nearing election season, you know. But he hasn’t. I’m pretty sure my roomate’s jealous.” She signed. He co-worker, and recently come roommate had been acting off around her, and she’d only recently guessed why. The woman shook her head in amusement, wishing she could laugh. “It’s silly, really.” She added, and Jack snorted.

“Don’t let Wyatt hear that, he’s distracted enough as it is. You know we had to re-sign a whole stack of papers because he doodled on a sheet of transfer paper, and it went down?” He asked, and PM snorted.

“Stop.” She signed, but Jack laughed.

“I know, right?” The way the two sat there was strange. They were talking, as if they were old friends, not recently reacquainted enemies.  PM felt herself relax, and she was going to stay that way, until she saw a flash of something in Jack’s face. Cautiously, she acted on it.

“It’s nice catching up, Jack. But, you said there was another reason you asked me here- why?” She signed, and he sighed, then leaned back in his chair.

“Yeah, actually.” He said, and looked away from her. “You ever think about getting revenge? For what they did?” PM frowned.

“I’m not involved with it any more. I wouldn’t know who to go to anyway, since we destroyed our facility.” She signed, carefully.

“I reconnected with some old friends, same situation as me. Hearts and Deuce, I think you met them.” He said, and She nodded. The names sounded familiar, but something was missing.

“Wasn’t there a third?” She signed, and Jack looked at her, unimpressed.

“Oh, Droog. Yeah, that guy was an idiot, I preferred not to. But I got to talking to them recently, and I found out some highly classified intel.” PM leaned forward.

“I thought you were done associating with this.” She signed, and he sighed.

“I know, I know. But I had to talk to them, and…They know who’s running it. And they know how to shut him down.” He said, and PM looked surprised.

“Who?”

“They call him English. According to those two, he’s been hiding behind the Betty Crocker corporation, and using them as a base for his operations. He’s supposed to be some huge cherub guy that wants something, and has been using these experiments- us, I mean, to get it. I didn’t get all the details, but they’ve been trying to make something special, gives them access to control over the world. And they’ve got these facilities too. He’s ultra powerful, a time traveler- everything.  And he’s going to be running things publically soon.” PM frowned.

“What do you plan to do about him, if he’s so powerful?” She signed, and Jack sighed.

“Keep an open mind. Apparently, he’s got a weakness. No idea how it got out, but he does- kid by the name of John, and he’s tied to him or something. Point is, we take out the kid, and he’s gone too. The guy who’s behind all of this would suffer for what he did, Green.” PM’s eyes widened.

“Not we! You want to kill a child?” She signed, horrified, but Jack put his hands up.

“Wait! Come on, Peregrene, think of the possibilities. This guy could be shut down. We could take out the operation, from the top! The people right under him- I think they’re leprachauns, with time powers? They control all of the facilities. We take the leprechauns out, we weaken this English guy, and we stop all the shit that happened to us from happening to someone else!” PM’s gaze turned icy. Her hands were tight as she signed.

“You said you left this behind you.” She signed, then shook her head, looking to the side. “You can’t kill this person- you don’t even know if you’re right about this.” She added, and Jack looked at her, half desperate now.

“Then we do a stakeout, we see what’s going on ourselves. Don’t you want this to stop?” He asked, and she glared.

“Not at the cost of killing a child- who, if I’m correct, is close friends with Jade! As far as I’m concerned, I am done with this, and you swore you wouldn’t be involved again.” Jack grabbed her hand.

“Peregrene.” He said, and despite her disgust, she looked at him. “I’m asking for your help with this. Don’t you want revenge?” He questioned, and she was unable  to respond, without use of her hand. “Don’t you miss singing? I heard you humming all those years ago- I know you miss it. It’s one person versus however many people, however many facilities were involved. We could stop this- get Hearts and Deuce on our side, even Droog if he’s competent. I know we could take out this English guy, if we just had you on our side too. You were with me, in captivity all those years ago. They may have given me some seniority, but my eye’s just as gone as your voice. Let’s fix for others what we couldn’t do for ourselves!” He asked, and he felt PM’s arm stiften.

His eyes met her defiant ones as she started to pull her arm back. He saw a tear in the corner of one, and clutched her tighter. The man fell to one knee.

“PM, please. I wouldn’t feel right without you being there, by my side.” Unknown to him, a door glided open silently. “I’m usually not on my knees for much, but I think this is one of those occasions.” He grumbled, then made eye contact. “Pear, please. You’re smart, quick, good at fighting, and know how to make a decision- the right decision, in battle or otherwise. All I’m asking is that-”

“Jack?” A foreign voice, that neither of the human-turned daemon werewolves heard enter sounded in the foyer. Their heads turned towards the sound, and they saw her- a woman of shorter stature, with eyes filling with tears. And suddenly, both became hyperaware of their position. Jack’s eye widened.

“Michelle. I didn’t hear you come in.” The woman looked between the surprised PM and the quickly, quickly panicking Jack. Tears threatened to spill over the corners of her eyes.

“I left my bag. What’s- Jack, were you cheating on me?” She asked, her voice half a whisper. Jack’s eye widened. The ring he’d shown PM, in the box and everything, sat out on the table. He was bent on one knee, in the middle of asking a question, and Jack realized just how bad the situation looked. “Oh my goodness.” Her voice was half a whisper, and PM wished, not for the first time, that she had a voice.

“No! No, this is not what it looks like at all, Chelle.” He said, frantically standing, and looking between himself and PM. Michelle Paint looked up at him, her eyes disbelieving.

“Then what? A ring? A dinner? Jack, how could you do this?” She asked, her voice slowly gaining volume. Jack put his hands up.

“Woah, no. I’m not- this isn’t that. I promise, Chelle, it’s not that.” She shook her head, and turned quickly, before he could see her cry.

“Goodbye, Jack.” She said, and made a dash for the door. Jack grabbed her wrist before she could leave, and Michelle looked back at him, tears and hurt evident. “Let me go!”

“No! Michelle, I promise, this is not what it looks like. You gotta believe me, Michelle- just hear me out, okay?” he asked desperately. He realized he was holding tight and loosened his grip completely, to the point where his hand just circled her arm. “Michelle, please.” The woman drew her hand back, and Jack had his breath caught in his throat. She searched for something in his face.

“Explain everything- and if you lie, I’m leaving. For good.” She announced, and Jack panicked. He hadn’t wanted to reveal himself, and this certainly wasn’t just his secret to- To his surprise, PM put a hand on his shoulder, and nodded. The message was clear, and he looked back at his girlfriend.

“This explanation’s going to take a while. You should have a seat.” He said, and it was the truth. Michelle blinked at that, but found herself wanting to believe Jack- and for the moment, she did. She sat, unwittingly, not sure what she was going to hear. Jack sighed. “Have you ever heard of werewolves?”

Minutes passed. PM had shown her own transformation- the full one, with the wings. She didn’t believe everything at first, but she was surprisingly open minded. In the end, she only had one question, after they explained everything.

“Then, the ring? Jack, why did you have that?” She asked him, and he was suddenly timid, or unable to answer. PM got her attention with a smile, and pointed at her. “Me? What do you mean by me?” She asked, and her eyes widened. Her head turned suddenly. “Jack? Were you going to ask… me?” She questioned, and he let out a breath.

“Yeah. When I found a good moment, and everything was worked out… yeah.” He fell quiet. “Would you have said yes?” He asked, and Michelle took a deep breath. Jack looked down. “I know you learned a lot about me tonight, not all of which I’m proud of, so I understand, if… you know.” He said, his voice half a sigh.

“Jack, I can only answer that when you ask.” She responded, and he blinked. “I can’t say I understand all of these werewolves and experiments, but I understand you, Slick.” She said, using her nickname for effect. “If you’re really a good person, and you’ve loved me for all this time, then I don’t care that you’re whatever you are. I… still love you.” She affirmed, and made it more evident as she grasped his hand.  Heat flooded Jack’s cheeks, and he locked eyes with her. Did that mean… did she want? He slowly stood, as did Michelle, and walked over to the table. He felt his hands slide around the box. Nothing was memorized, or practiced, and his hands were shaking. The man had known Michelle Paint for years, loved her for more, and yet, he’d never been more nervous than with her in the room. And in that moment, PM stood. She signed quickly at Jack, who took the time to translate.

“It looks like… you two are busy, thanks for dinner, I’ll be- No wait PM, you don’t have to-” She signed something, grinned, and Jack felt his cheeks darken. “Oh. Yeah, thanks, Night PM.” Michelle noticed her, and sent her a half smile, which was as much as she could give the woman after seeing her as a terrifying beast and a half wolf hybrid.

“Goodnight, PM. I’ll see you soon, sorry for the misunderstanding.” She said, and PM sent her a smile, and an expression that conveyed more than enough, then departed. It was worth noting that just before she closed the door, she heard Michelle’s voice. A sharp intake of breath from Jack sounded, and she closed the door. Despite her wish to give them privacy, she couldn’t just not be curious. And so, she transformed just her ears, and listened. She heard nothing through the thick door for a few minutes, and just as she was ready to stand and leave, she heard it. It was the high pitched giggle, mixed with a noise of surprise that you only heard or made when you were being picked up, and Jack’s more masculine, but joy-filled laugh. She almost split her mouth in half grinning as she exited, and picked up her phone to call for a ride. AR ended up just picking her up, and when asked why she was so happy, with her whiteboard in the side seat, she found herself responding easily.

“An old friend just proposed.” She’d written. At first, she wanted to change her phrasing, until she realized that it didn’t matter. After tonight, that’s what they were old friends. And even if their circumstances started off so sourly, she recognized and appreciated Jack’s attempts tonight for what they were. Despite her differences with Jack- and let it be known, she would not allow him to kill an innocent kid, PM was happy for him, and couldn’t help that she smiled all the way back home.

______________________-

AN: OKAY BUT THIS MADE ME HAPPY YES

_______________-

The cherub sighed as he knocked on the door, then waited. He knew she was home, so that certainly helped- all he had to do was wait. Which meant, he’d have time to think. Lord English wasn’t sure how he’d gotten himself into the situation, but he despised it. Since his clearly jaded childhood, the man had grown more determined, and pessimistic. He almost scoffed at himself for being so naive. But his childish delusions with life being easy, where he had full reign over all that he wanted after his rise to adulthood were crushed with reality.

His sister fought well, he remembered, for someone destined to lose. Still, he’d never once thought that she could best him, just as she knew that she could never win. So, as he inflicted his fatal wound on his dying sibling, he knew that all he had left to do was to absorb her. And it felt good for a while. That surge of power, along with his transformation into his current form were unbelievable. The best part, he’d decided, was that he no longer needed to feed.

Or, he’d foolishly thought this for a little while, anyway, until that insatiable hunger came back. And it was then that he made a mistake- he’d searched for his old meal, John. John had been a delicious source of food since his rise to power, and after months of not having him, he craved the boy. Perhaps, he could have broken his addiction there, had he been smarter. But no, after his short trip to the 80’s to get his amazing jacket, he came crawling back to John. Said boy had been more miserable than ever, and he remembered the taste, and the flavor with glee.

And that was when his plan started. It was also when Lord English realized he was tied to John. It started when he’d tried to absorb the misery of a crying pedestrian on a bench. And when he did, it physically hurt him. Dismayed, he followed John, and took some of his misery for a while. Of course, he could consume it, and that confirmed it. He was stuck with John as his food source. His only food source. So he carried out his plan with haste, and almost seemed to be back on track for a while. The idea was simple- kill his sister, world domination with lots of servants, and power. John helped him to the world domination stage. By now, he was meant to be sitting on a throne of gold. Having people worship and tremble before him nice, especially that Strider boy- the newly turned Lord English had a special torture in mind for him.

Of course, he was in front of a biologist’s door instead. Feeding off John’s happiness was a surprise. It radically changed his vision of the future. John, his tie, would sit next to him as he ruled as king of every realm, and fuel him while Lord English sat at the top of the world. He’d be treated nicely too, maybe even throw in a comfy pillow for style, then feed after he’s interacted with his loved ones. Even better, he could find a loophole and cut the younger Strider that he didn’t respect out of the deal, and make him suffer for removing his leg. Strangely enough, that stayed in his new transformation, but the wooden leg was much more updated to his tastes. Of course, Lord English already knew that John let some information spill to the blonde. But he was biding his time, and waiting for the right moment to enforce his deal. He needed to wait until after he had the world under his control though- or else he knew John would fight back, somehow. He needed to be extremely careful when dealing with John, and if it meant making John believe that he didn’t know something, he was more than willing. It would only make the misery collection that much sweeter, whenever he did it, and Caliborn couldn’t wait for the flavor- and, that wasn’t important.  He had no need to daydream of food now. What English needed to know was the extent of his abilities, dearly. Despite knowing all of time and space, he lacked the desire to search for his sister’s ghost. So, this would have to suffice.

“Hi there!” She greeted, and Lord English stood.

“Ah, Feferi Piexes?” He questioned, and she nodded.

“That’s me! How can I-”

“Tell me, what do you know of cherubs?” He asked, and she faltered.

“Ch-” He interrupted.

“The twin species of supernaturals with near unlimited power in their adulthood, with green flesh and a skull like face, always complemented by the two swirls or circles on their cheeks, depending on their maturity.” The woman stepped back.

“Why are you here?” She asked, clearly nervous. He rolled his eyes.

“I’m seeking information, and you were recommended by John. I’d prefer not to waste time.” He said, and she looked troubled.

“John sent you here? Has he been telling people about me? I thought he would have kept it secret.” Lord English sighed.

“That is not my concern- but off the record, no. He only informed me because I was liable to torturing him again if I didn’t.” She looked up at him.

“Torture him?” She asked, and he raised an eyebrow.

“Yes. It’s part of an arrangement we had to stop Betty Crocker, assuming that you know of it. And if not, then it’s not your concern. I’ve stopped torturing him for now, but if you don’t hurry and answer me, I’ll be forced to do it again. Understood?” Feferi shook like a leaf. John was getting tortured to stop Betty Crocker, and now she was involved with something she’d walked away from, and this imposing man- or, likely, cherub, was torturing John. “So, I’ll repeat myself. Do you know about my species, or not?” He sat in silence, and rolled his eyes. “Honestly, if your connection to John is so unmoving as to make you speak, consider that I’m well within the means of killing you.” He said, and Feferi shook.

“I- I-”

“Clam down, kid.” A voice sounded behind her, and Feferi looked up. Future Dave stood next to Feferi’s mother, who held a gleaming trident. Lord English looked at Dave in surprise, and anger.

“You.” He said, but frowned. “Oh, but not from this timeline. How interesting. Why are you here?” Dave looked at him coolly.

“To kick your ass. But not right now. In fact, we’re not even interfering. Really, fishmom and I are only here to offer Ms. Piexes a little reassurance. You’re making her pretty nervous, bro. Anyway, Feferi’s going to answer your questions, and you’re not going to kill her.” Feferi was scared and confused at this point.

“Mom?” She asked, and the woman sighed.

“Yeah, it’s me. Don’t worry, you’re not going to have to get involved with any of this, if that’s what you’re wonderin. Just answer his questions- shades over here is pretty glubbin convincing, so he told me to sit in, in case this chum-p gets dangerous. Just answer his questions.” She said, and Feferi’s eyes widened.

“But, John, and Betty Crocker-” Dave looked at her.

“Don’t worry about it. We’ll fix it.” He said, giving lord English a meaningful glance. Feferi took a deep breath. She knew the guy that stood before her was likely evil, and would kill her if her mom and Dave weren’t there, and that thought alone was scary. But she resolved to do what they asked anyway. Feferi nodded.

“Okay.” Lord English coughed.

“If that’s all settled, I’ll begin.” And begin he did. What he learned today made his outlook on John’s treatment different, and he reformed his plan. Apparently, he could feed off John’s happiness, which opened a world of possibilities for his treatment. One idea he had in particular, would build a mixture of happiness and misery that he was excited for, but that was for the future. For now, he was good to go for the rebranding, and even if it meant he wouldn’t torture John, the boy would still be under his control. He needed John until he took over the universe, and until then, he’d just have to keep him happy.

_________________________-

JAFNF Chapter 137

(IT’S STILL SUNDAY) (Sunday, June 29 th )

_________-

John sighed against his mother’s comfortable bed. They’d talked about the strange and sudden change in Lord English earlier, but now he felt ready to finally talk to Karkat. When John took out his device, he found that the boy had already texted him.

Carcino Geneticist (CG) began pestering ecto Biologist (EB).

CG: JOHN?

CG: I KNOW YOU’RE AT CAMP OR WHATEVER

CG: BUT CAN WE TALK?

EB: Oh, Karkat, hi

EB: Yeah, I’ve been, uh

EB: Wanting to talk too.

CG: GOOD.

CG: SO, DAVE TOLD ME ABOUT YOUR TIME TOGETHER.

EB: And?

CG: AND HE SAID HE COULDN’T TELL ME WHY YOU DID WHAT YOU DID, BUT IT WAS VALID ENOUGH FOR HIM.

CG: IN THE END, HE SAID HE WAS WORRIED.

CG: I UNDERSTAND IF YOU CAN’T REALLY SAY.

EB: You do?

CG: WELL, NOT REALLY, BUT I’M WILLING TO STOP HATING YOU FOR NOW

EB: Thank you. I really missed you.

CG: SAME HERE, JOHN.

CG: I FEEL LIKE WE SHOULD TALK THOUGH.

EB: About what happened in the alley?

CG: YEAH, THAT WAS ONE OF THE THINGS.

EB: okay.

EB: what was all that?

EB: it looked like you couldn’t hear me.

CG: I COULDN’T. NOT REALLY.

CG: LOOK, JOHN. THIS IS SOMETHING THAT I REALLY HAVEN’T OPENED UP THE FREE ALL YOU CAN EAT ON KARKAT’S STUPID ASS BACKSTORY BUFFET LINE ON.

EB: so you don’t want to tell me? I understand, we weren’t on the greatest terms until just now.

CG: NO, STOP FUCKING ASSUMING THINGS, I SHOULD TELL SOMEONE ANYWAY, MAY AS WELL BE THE PERSON THAT GOT HURT BY IT.

CG: ONE OF THEM.

CG: SPEAKING OF WHICH, IS THAT DOING OKAY? I THINK I MAY HAVE CUT YOU?

EB: nothing broken, nothing bruised.

EB: But, uh, thank you.

CG: YEAH. SO, SURPRISE SURPRISE, THIS GOES ALL THE FUCKING WAY BACK TO WHEN I WAS BITTEN, AS A DUMBASS 6 TH GRADER. TRAGIC FUCKING STORY IT WAS, ALL WRAPPED UP IN BOWS OF BRAIN NUMBINGLY HORRIFIC CHOICES AND A HORRIBLE SITU-FUCKING-ATION.

CG: SO, YOU KNOW HOW MOST VAMPIRES GET BITTEN BY OTHER VAMPIRES?

EB: yes?

CG: WELL HERE COMES THE PLOT TWISTER, STRAP ON YOUR RED SHOES BECAUSE WE’VE LIFTED OFF INTO THE TORNADO OF NOT IN KANSAS ANY MORE. SURPRISE, I WASN’T BITTEN BY A VAMPIRE.

CG: INSTEAD, A TROLL BIT ME, AND THAT FUCKED UP MY LIFE FOREVER. IN CASE YOU WERE WONDERING, TROLLS ARE A PURELY REPRODUCTIVE SPECIES, AND THEIR TEETH AND DNA REARRANGE EVERY MONTH SO THAT THEY CAN LITTLERALLY TRANSFORM ANY SPECIES. IT’S ALSO COMPLETELY NECESSARY FOR THEM TO DO THIS WITHOUT HORRIFIC PAIN, WHICH IS WHY THIS TROLL SPECIFICALLY GETS HIGH ALL THE TIME- TO NUMB IT. BUT GUESS WHO DECIDED TO WALK HIS SIXTH GRADE ASS ALONG THE ROAD THE ONE TIME THIS TROLL WASN’T HIGH?

EB: you?

CG: DING WE HAVE A WINNER, AND YOUR PRIZE IS A FUCKED UP EXCUSE FOR A FRIEND. THE TROLL BIT ME, AND I BECAME A VAMPIRE, BECAUSE IT WAS A VAMPIRE MONTH. THE PROBLEM WITH TROLLS IS, THEY PASS THE LITTERAL PUREST FORM OF WHATEVER MONSTER THEY CONVERT- EVEN MORE THAN OUR PUREBLOODS. WHEN ITS MIXED WITH A HUMAN BLOODSTREAM, SHIT GETS WEIRD.

EB: so what happened?

CG: WELL, APPARENTLY, THE FIRST VAMPIRES HAD HYPER BLOOD SENSITIVITY. THEY COULD CONTROL IT REALLY WELL, FROM THE STUFF RUNNING THROUGH THEIR VEINS TO SENSING BLOOD SIGNATURES, WHICH IS WHY I’M GOOD AT THAT. BUT I GOT MORE THAN I BARGAINED FOR.

CG: SEE, THE HYPER BLOOD SENSITIVITY EXTENDS TO BLEEDING TOO. WHILE ITS LOADS OF FUN FEELING EVERY CHANGE IN MY BLOOD PRESSURE EVERY TEN SECONDS, AND BY THAT I MEAN IT IS UNENDING HELL, I GET THE SUPERFUN BONUS OF GOING INSANE EVERY TIME I GET A FUCKING CUT! IF SOMETHING MAKES ME DRAW BLOOD, I GET THAT TROLL RAGE BULLSHIT, AND TA DA! YOU HAVE A MENTAL FUCK UP, KARKAT VANTAS.

EB: woah

EB: and hey, you’re not a mental fudge up

CG: I BEG TO FUCKING DIFFER, NO PLEADING THE FIFTH AVAILABLE. REMEMBER THAT TIME I GOT A PAPERCUT DURING ONE OF OUR FNFJs?

EB: yeah? You didn’t say anything when I asked you if you were okay for like ten minutes!

CG: AND BEFORE THAT, I RIPPED THE PAPER IN HALF, THEN CRUSHED IT IN MY FIST.

CG: AND AFTER THAT I HAD A SILENT FREAK OUT WHILE YOU WERE RIGHT THERE FOR TEN MINUTES.

EB: so? It’s just paper.

CG: JOHN, THE IDEA WAS THAT I COULDN’T CONTROL MYSELF. WHAT DO YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN IF A PERSON INFLICTED THAT?

EB: oh

CG: YEAH. OH IS RIGHT.

CG: GOING INTO THAT STATE? LET ME TELL YOU, THE WORST FUCKING SHIT IN THE WORLD. I REALLY, REALLY DON’T LIKE IT, JOHN.

CG: USUALLY, IT ONLY KICKS IN IF I GET CUT AT NIGHT, DURING OR CLOSE TO THE FULL OR NEW MOONS.

CG: BUT STILL, NOT GREAT.

CG: POWERS AREN’T ALL THEY’RE CRACKED UP TO BE.

EB: well

EB: I get what you mean there.

CG: HOW?

EB: I think it was pretty clear that I have weird wind powers, right?

CG: I THINK YOU MADE IT PRETTY FUCKING APPARENT WHEN YOU ALMOST SUCKED ME INTO A TORNADO OF GARBAGE.

CG: NOT THAT I DIDN’T DESERVE IT, JUST SAYING.

EB: yeah well, uh

EB: that’s… a thing now? Or it’s always been a thing and I recentlyish learned it?’

CG: THAT SOUNDS TOTALLY PLAUSIBLE.

EB: it is. I talked to my denizen, learned about my mom, and now I have them.

EB: but I can fly, which is really cool, and make objects out of wind if I focus. But, you know, there’s drawbacks.

CG: BEING?

EB: now that I know about my powers, I got this reflex. Whenever I’m in a really, you know, about to die/ pinned against a wall situation, my body kind of autopilots, I guess?

EB: It makes me turn into wind.

CG: AND THIS IS BAD.

EB: I have to feel all of my body change form, then split apart.

EB: and then I can barely pull myself back together.

EB: I don’t really know if I can explain it, but after that there’s this feeling, because I can hear every atom  screaming where it wants to go, and I don’t even know what would happen if part of me got carried away, and if I’m not really focus- which, if I’m about to die, I’m usually not- I may not be able to bring myself back together.

EB: It’s really scary.

CG: WHEN I CAME OUT OF MY RAGE THING YOU WERE CRYING.

EB: yeah, um

EB: it’s really hard feeling your body break apart

CG: THAT SOUNDS HORRIBLE.

CG: AND IT’S A REFLEX?

EB: yes

EB: so, if I think I’m about to die, it could happen.

EB: I mean like, sword raised over my head or centimeters away from my chest think I’m about to die

EB: So, if I was in training…

CG: OH GOG.

CG: THAT’S FUCKING TERRIFYING.

CG: I’M SO SORRY THAT I MADE THAT HAPPEN TO YOU

EB: Well, so is going rage crazy.

EB: and that was my fault, for pushing you on that glass so

EB: i’m sorry too

CG: YOU DIDN’T KNOW.

EB: Neither did you

CG: WELL, THEN OBVIOUSLY I FORGIVE YOU.

EB: I forgive you too!

CG: THAT FEELS BETTER ACTUALLY

CG: SO, NOW THAT WE HAVE THAT TAKEN CARE OF, I’M GENUINELY CURIOUS.

CG: WHAT THE HELL DID YOU AND DAVE DO WHILE I WAS GONE?

EB: oh

EB: well, we took a trip to a place.

CG: Called?

EB: The land of wind and shade

EB: It was where I learned about my powers.

CG: SOUNDS FUN.

CG: WHAT DID YOU GUYS DO AFTER?

EB: wait, you don’t want to hear about that?

CG: DAVE TOOK THE TIME TO DESCRIBE IT IN DETAIL A FEW HOURS AGO.

CG: I THINK I’M ALRIGHT.

EB: hmm, well okay then!

EB: after that, we just hng out for a while. Um, the sunset was nice, this older lady was mean, we made up, stargazed for a while, and he dropped me off at home!

CG: I FEEL AS IF YOU’RE LEAVING OUT IMPORTANT DETAILS.

CG: WHAT HAPPENED WITH THE OLDER LADY?

EB: she uh

EB: she said something that made Dave really insecure. It was really personal for him. But, I think I assured him through it.

CG: LIKE, SOME COURSE LANGUAGE? BECAUSE I USE THAT ALL THE FUCKING TIME.

EB: I mean, technically, yeah? but one was more of the derogatory kind, and the other was just something that he’s really insecure about. and she meant it to be mean, so that didn’t help.

CG: I’M STILL NOT GETTING WHAT YOU’RE SAYING, JOHN.

EB: well, I don’t really want to type it. but I guess when we were hanging out, we kind of looked like we were… together? in a relationship sense, and a lot of people seem to have issues with that. so she used a name that would describe two guys in that situation, but a really derogatory, mean, obviously not accepting way

CG: ARE YOU JOKING?

EB: no, it was really mean. and I didn’t really care, because, you know, the word didn’t even apply. and even if it did, she was just someone that was mean and judgemental for no good reason, so I just kind of had to not care.

CG: AND THAT MADE DAVE REALLY UPSET, HUH?

EB: no, I think it was really the other thing she called him that hurt. either way, we got in a mini fight, talked, and I think I made him feel better!

CG: YOU FOUGHT?

EB: I still hadn’t told him about, you know, my motives. and I still don’t know if that was a mistake or not, because I really wasn’t supposed to, but it just came out, I guess.

CG: AND AFTER THAT?

EB: We stargazed for a while and went home.

EB: and… oh, yeah.

EB: I know we haven’t really had a feelings session in a while, but I’m kind of confused. I couldn’t even tell if he was joking or not, but things got kind of intense, and I wanted to know if I could maybe talk it out with you?

CG: ARE YOU KIDDING?

CG: TYPE, JOHN.

EB: I don’t know if it was a really big deal or not though! I was probably just being stupid, because we always joke like that, but it seemed a little different, and I don’t know.

CG: JOHN, AS MUCH AS I APPRECIATE THIS NAIL BITING BUILD UP, I’M GOING TO ASK YOU TO GRACE ME WITH THE KNOWLEDGE OF WHATEVER FUCKING HAPPENED BETWEEN YOU TWO, NOW.

EB: okay, geez!

EB: well, I guess it started earlier, after I’d reassured him. I mean, I’m not a homosexual or anything, but I did want dave to see how important he was to me, so I may have kissed his eyes a little?

EB: but totally in a friend way! like, platonic, feel-better-soon-please because he’s my best friend.

CG: DO YOU THINK HE READ IT WRONG?

EB: no, I think he realized that I wasn’t trying to kiss him.

EB: but, then weird stuff happened after that. like, we were on my front porch, and I was about to tell him bye

EB: and somehow while we were talking, we got really close, and that’s not really a problem, but then… I don’t know, it’s stupid, he was joking.

CG: WHAT?

CG: JOHN YOU NEED TO TELL ME WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED RIGHT NOW OR I FUCKING SWEAR TO SKAIA I WILL NEVER FORGIVE YOU.

EB: okay, okay!

EB: well, we got super close, and I think he was joking, but he kind of… offered to kiss me?

EB: but he was probably joking.

CG: WHAT?!

EB: calm down, karkat! he was totally joking.

CG: PHRASING, CONTEXT, NOW.

EB: uh, I was talking about my neck hurting a little from when he was on it, and he offered to kiss it better.

EB: now that I think about it though, it was probably a joke,  and a reference. I shouldn’t be so worried about it.

CG: CLEARLY, YOU’VE THOUGHT ABOUT THIS FOR A WHILE.

CG: HOW DO YOU KNOW THAT HE’S JOKING?

EB: well, I mean, come on

EB: it’s dave! he always jokes like that.

EB: we always joke like that. it’s not weird.

CG: AND YET, YOU’VE BEEN THINKING ABOUT IT.

EB: I don’t know.

EB: I mean, I know he’s a bisexual, but that obviously doesn’t mean he likes me like that.

EB: this probably sounds really bad and conceited, wow

CG: WHY WOULD YOU SAY THAT?

EB: well, I’m pretty sure we all know that dave’s out of everyone’s leagues. and being attracted to a certain gender or two doesn’t mean me, and I know that.

CG: HEY, PEOPLE LIKE WHO THEY LIKE. DON’T COUNT YOURSELF OUT BECAUSE OF THAT.

CG: BUT WHAT DID YOU SAY?

EB: I never got to answer. Roxy walked in, and I guess we got startled.

CG: REALLY?

CG: WELL, WHAT WOULD YOU HAVE SAID?

EB: I mean, he was joking, so I was going to go along with it.

EB: …

EB: he was definitely joking, right?

CG: WELL I WASN’T WATCHING YOU, JOHN.

EB: yeah I know but

EB: it wouldn’t make sense if he wasn’t joking. he had to be.

CG: WELL, WHETHER HE WAS JOKING OR NOT ISN’T REALLY THE ISSUE, RIGHT?

CG: SHOULDN’T YOU BE MORE CONCERNED WITH WHAT YOU WOULD HAVE SAID IF HE REALLY OFFERED?

EB: i

EB: i don’t know!

EB: i’m not a homosexual, Karkat.

CG: SO YOU’RE SAYING YOU’D SAY NO?

EB: no

EB: I mean, I wouldn’t just…

EB: I’d have to think about it.

CG: WELL, HERE’S SOME TIME TO THINK.

EB: but he’d never ask. he wouldn’t like me like that, Karkat. we’re best friends!

EB: I don’t know why I’m getting so worried over this, but I can’t stop thinking about it.

CG: FROM HERE, IT SOUNDS LIKE YOU’RE FOCUSING ON THE WRONG THING.

CG: FORGET HOW YOU THINK DAVE FEELS ABOUT YOU, HOW YOU FEEL ABOUT HIM IS MORE IMPORTANT.

EB: he’s my best friend!

CG: THAT’S NOT A FEELING, JOHN.

CG: THAT’S A STATUS.

CG: HOW DO YOU FEEL ABOUT HIM?

EB: I don’t know? Like how you’re supposed to feel about your best friend. I care about him, and like him a lot, and really enjoy spending time with him.

EB: how am I supposed to feel?

CG: I CAN’T ANSWER THAT. BUT IF YOU’RE HAVING SO MUCH DIFFICULTY, TRY ANSWERING THIS: WHAT DOES BEING WITH HIM FEEL LIKE?

EB: hm

EB: I guess safe?

EB: good?

CG: COMPLETE THE SENTENCE: BEING WITH DAVE FEELS LIKE BLANK.

CG: I’M LOOKING FOR SOMETHING OTHER THAN GOOD HERE. MAYBE SOMETHING PHYSICAL? THINK SIMILIES, EVEN THOUGH THIS ISN’T ONE.

EB: um

EB: hm

EB: being with dave feels like… being in Wind and Shade, I guess.

CG: SO, BECAUSE THAT’S COMPLETELY UNRELATABLE, COULD YOU DO ME A FAVOR AND EXPLAIN?

EB: When I’m there, I feel like good things are going to happen. Like I belong there, and like I can do whatever I want there.

EB: Even when I first went to wind and shade, I didn’t feel like an outsider there.

EB: I guess you could say that going to wind and shade feels like going to, like, a super idealized version of home, but going on an adventure too? Since home wasn’t exactly that for a while.

CG: SO, IF I’M READING YOU CORRECTLY

CG: BEING WITH DAVE FEELS LIKE BEING AT HOME.

EB: well that’s

EB: I mean, yeah. But more exciting. It’s better than that, in wind and shade.

CG: BEING WITH DAVE FEELS LIKE BEING AT HOME, BUT BETTER.

EB: I guess so! but that phrasing makes I seem more… romantic, I guess, than it is.

CG: HEY, I’M JUST HELPING YOU SORT THROUGH YOUR FEELINGS. AND ROMANTIC OR NOT, THAT’S AN ACCURATE SENTENCE FOR YOU, RIGHT?

EB: yes

EB: I guess so, yeah.

EB: what does that even mean?

CG: I FEEL LIKE THAT’S FOR YOU TO DECIDE.

CG: BUT, FROM A DEVOTED MEMBER OF THE ROMCOM COMMUNITY, I CAN ATTEST THAT YEAH

CG: THAT’S AROUND A TEN ON THE FICTICIOUS ASSHOLE ROMANCE SCALE, OUT OF TEN.

EB: but

EB: i’m not homosexual!

EB: and it’s not like i like dave like that!

CG: AND YET, YOU STILL DON’T KNOW WHAT YOU’D SAY IF HE OFFERED  TO KISS YOU?

CG: SEEMS LIKE IT WOULD BE PRETTY GOGDAMN OBVIOUS IF YOU DIDN’T LIKE HIM, JOHN.

EB: it is!

CG: SO YOU’D SAY NO?

EB: well, that’s kind of mean. I wouldn’t just, hypothetically reject him.

EB: I would at least tell him I would think about it.

CG: BUT IF YOU DIDN’T LIKE HIM, THERE WOULDN’T BE MUCH TO THINK ABOUT.

EB: yes there would!

EB: like, what would happen to our friendship? And would he hate me?

CG: WELL, THAT WOULDN’T BE YOUR FAULT. HIS HYPOTHETICAL FEELINGS CHANGED, NOT YOURS.

EB: that doesn’t mean that I’d be okay with losing him as a friend!

CG: SO IT WOULD BE BETTER TO TELL HIM YES, AND LEAD HIM ON? NO OFFENSE, BUT THAT  SOUNDS LIKE A FASTER WAY TO LOSE A FRIEND THAN BEING HONEST.

EB: i wouldn’t lead dave on!

CG: SO, YOU’D ACCEPT AND ACTUALLY MEAN IT?

EB: no!! karkat, i don’t like him like that!

CG: THEN WHAT WOULD YOU DO?

EB: i don’t know! This doesn’t even matter, it’s not like he was being serious.

CG: YOU SEEMED TO HAVE SOME DOUBTS.

EB: what, do you think he likes me?

CG: I DON’T THINK IT’S REALLY ABOUT ME, IS IT?

EB: well, I don’t know karkat.

EB: I don’t like dave like that.

CG: WHY NOT?

EB: he’s my best friend.

CG: WELL, WOULD DATING HIM BE BAD?

EB: didn’t we already decide that it would be like we are now?

CG: SO THEN, WHERE’S THE DRAWBACK? WHAT’S MAKING YOU SAY YOU WOULDN’T?

EB: nothing! I’m just not a homosexual, that’s all!

CG: YOU THINK THAT IF HE LIKED YOU FIRST, THAT WOULD CHANGE?

EB: ….no?

CG: THEN, UH, WHAT THE HELL WAS DAVEBOT?

EB: a really weird and delicate situation. and dave’s not Davebot!

CG: YOU’RE SURE THAT’S NOT AN EXCUSE?

EB: YES!

EB: I mean, I don’t know!

EB: why are you questioning me so hard?

CG: YOU ASKED, JOHN.

EB: all I asked to do was talk through my feelings, not get interrogated!

CG: BUT YOU DON’T KNOW HOW YOU FEEL, RIGHT?

EB: well, yeah

CG: SO I’M ASKING YOU QUESTIONS TO HELP YOU FIGURE IT OUT, JOHN. YOU KNOW I’M DOING THIS FOR YOU, IT’S NOT LIKE I GET ANYTHING OUT OF IT.

EB: I know. Sorry, it’s just so frustrating

CG: I’LL EASE UP A LITTLE.

CG: SO, WHY ARE YOU SO FRUSTRATED?

EB: I guess because… I don’t know! how can I be sure if he meant it or not?

EB: we always joke like this, but sometimes, it’s just weird to wonder how he could say things that easily.

EB: i mean, i know he gets practice with terezi. like, everything they say is flirting

EB: which is totally fine for them! but I feel like he goes even farther with it when it comes to me.

CG: YOU SURE? I’VE HEARD THEM.

CG: THEY SAY SOME REALLY CHARGED STUFF, JOHN.

EB: really?

EB: like what?

CG: WHY DO YOU ASK?

EB: you… brought it up and I’m curious with how it compares to what dave says to me?

CG: TRUST ME, THEY’RE WORSE.

EB: he told me my clothes would look better on his floor once.

CG: DEFINITELY WORSE.

CG: WHEN THEY’RE NOT MAKING SELF DEPRECATING JOKES ABOUT EVERYTHING THEY’RE INSECURE ABOUT, THOSE TWO ARE PURPOSEFULLY MAKING OTHER PEOPLE UNCOMFORTABLE WITH THE NUMBER OF SEXUALLY CHARGED COMMENTS THEY MAKE TOWARDS EACH OTHER IN A ROOM.

CG: YOU DON’T UNDERSTAND HOW INTENSE THEY GET WHEN YOU’RE NOT THERE, JOHN. BOTH OF THEM DIAL IT DOWN FOR YOUR BENEFIT.

EB: that’s

EB: super gross

EB: wow

CG: WELL, THEY MAINLY DO IT IN FRONT OF ME, BECAUSE THEY’RE ASSHOLES- USUALLY NOT OTHER PEOPLE.

CG: BUT WHATEVER, I DON’T NEED TO GO INTO ANY MORE DETAIL INTO THE FRUITY RUMPUS ASSHOLE FACTORY THAT PRODUCED EVERYTHING THEY FUCKING SAY TO EACH OTHER.

EB: do you think dave likes her?

CG: THEY CERTAINLY TRY TO MAKE IT SEEM THAT WAY, BUT THEY’RE FRIENDS.

EB: really? i always thought that they kind of… you know.

CG: I MEAN, THEY DATED FOR LIKE, A MONTH.

EB: what?

EB: wait, What?!?

CG: OH, YEAH. OOPS.

CG: DAVE DIDN’T WANT TO MAKE A BIG DEAL OUT OF IT, BUT IT WAS CLOSER TO THE BEGINNING OF SCHOOL.

EB: but

EB: he didn’t tell me!

CG: YEAH, IT WAS MORE OF AN EXPERIMENT FOR THEM THAN ANYTHING. I REALLY DON’T THINK IT WAS SERIOUS.

EB: then why didn’t he tell me?

CG: HE, JUST… DIDN’T WANT TO, I DON’T KNOW.

CG: IT’S NOT A BIG DEAL

EB: it’s a big deal!

EB: what, did he think I wouldn’t let him, because it was terezi? or does he just not think I’m cool enough to know about it?

CG: NO, HE JUST DIDN’T WANT TO, OKAY? IT WASN’T ANYTHING SERIOUS.

CG: AND… IT WASN’T JUST DAVE. TEREZI DIDN’T WANT TO MAKE IT TOO PUBLIC EITHER.

EB: terezi too?

EB: but why?

CG: LOOK.

CG: I DIDN’T GET INTO IT BUT

CG: THEY PROBABLY DIDN’T WANT ANOTHER VRISKA AND YOU SITUATION, OKAY?

EB: …..

EB: oh.

CG: YEAH. AND DON’T GET HYPOCRITICAL. IT’S NOT LIKE YOU TOLD HIM ABOUT DAVEBOT UNTIL… YOU KNOW.

EB: …

EB: yeah, I guess.

CG: ARE YOU OKAY?

EB: yeah.

CG: DID THAT CHANGE ANYTHING ABOUT YOUR FEELINGS TOWARDS DAVE?

EB: I mean

EB: no?

EB: i still care about him and everything.

CG: CARE ABOUT HIM LIKE…

EB: no!

EB: I mean. no. dave’s my best friend.

CG: AND YET, YOU’RE CONFUSED AND FRUSTRATED, AND YOU DON’T KNOW WHAT YOU’D DO IF HE OFFERED TO KISS YOU?

CG: LOOK, I’M NOT TELLING YOU HOW TO FEEL, BUT I THOUGHT I’D GIVE YOU A LITTLE PERSPECTIVE.

EB: Perspective?

CG: JUST LISTEN. READ, WHATEVER THE FUCK.

CG: BEING WITH SOLLUX DOESN’T FEEL LIKE BEING AT HOME, FOR ME.

CG: BEING WITH KANAYA DOESN’T FEEL LIKE BEING AT HOME, FOR ME.

CG: BEING WITH YOU, JOHN, DOESN’T FEEL LIKE BEING AT HOME.

CG: AND THE SAME GOES FOR DAVE.

CG: OUT OF MY CLOSEST INNER CIRCLE OF FRIENDS, NONE OF THEM FEEL LIKE WHAT YOU DESCRIBED.

EB: …

CG: AND I GET IT, YOU AND DAVE HAVE A REALLY SPECIAL RELATIONSHIP. I DON’T JUDGE, AND I KNOW YOU TWO CARE ABOUT EACH OTHER.

CG: BUT IT’S OKAY IF YOU FEEL DIFFERENT ABOUT HIM THAN YOU THOUGHT BEFORE. YOU MAY JUST LIKE DAVE LIKE THAT. IT’S OKAY.

EB: do you think I like dave?

CG: I THINK YOU’RE REALLY CONFUSED AND FRUSTRATED, AND DON’T KNOW WHAT YOU LIKE.

EB: yeah.

EB: that’s accurate.

CG: BUT ISN’T THAT HOW ALL THE GOOD RELATIONSHIPS START? WITH SOME CONFUSION, AND A LITTLE AWKWARDNESS, AND YEAH, SOME FRUSTRATION? THAT’S TEXTBOOK ROMANCE, JOHN. AND IT HAPPENS.

EB: kartkat?

CG: YES?

EB: do I like dave?

CG: HOW IN HELL WOULD I KNOW? I MEAN, YOU SHOW THE SIGNS, YEAH, BUT YOUR RELATIONSHIP IS UP TO YOU.

EB: do you think dave likes me?

CG: HE SHOWS THE SIGNS TOO. THAT’S ALL I’M SAYING ON THAT.

EB: wow.

EB: i uh

EB: I thought I didn’t like guys?

CG: HEY, WHO SAYS YOU DO?

CG: YOU MAY JUST LIKE HIM, IN WHATEVER CAPACITY. WHICH COULD EXPLAIN WHY YOU LIKED HIS ROBOT SELF, AND, LET’S BE HONEST- STARTED TO LIKE HIS FUTURE SELF TOO.

EB: I did not!

CG: PRETTY SURE YOU GUYS DID STUFF THAT WOULD QUALIFY AS A DATE.

EB: okay, but that did not mean that I was into him. He’s just a cool, future dave.

CG: WHATEVER YOU SAY.

CG: BUT OKAY, IF DAVE WAS A GIRL, WOULD YOU DATE HER?

EB: karkat!

EB: you can’t just ask that!

CG: WHY THE FUCK NOT?

CG: IT’S NOT LIKE I’M BEING AN ASSHOLE ABOUT IT, I’M JUST CURIOUS.

EB: geez, I don’t know!

EB: that’s weird.

EB: I mean, would you date me if I was a girl?

CG: PROBABLY? I WOULD AT LEAST TRY.

CG: AND ME?

EB: probably? Or- yeah, I would.

EB: you’d probably be a really adorable girl, karkat.

CG: HAVE YOU THOUGHT ABOUT THIS?

EB: maybe :B

CG: WEIRD.

CG: WELL, LET’S GET ONE THING STRAIGHT. IN NO CONTEXT WOULD I EVER BE ADORABLE.

CG: ADORABLOODTHIRSTY, MAYBE.

EB: haha okay, karkat. whatever you say

CG: DON’T BE PATRIONIZING, DIPSHIT

EB: okay okay! Sheesh.

CG: NOW LET’S GET BACK ON TOPIC. WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO ABOUT DAVE?

EB: I don’t even know if I like him!

CG: THIS CONVERSATION DID NOTHING FOR YOU?

EB: no, it helped me uh

EB: consider some things.

EB: but do I really like dave? I know I like being around him, and all of that, but our friendship is pretty different than most, considering that it developed through nothing but conversation for years.

EB: which, just elevated things when I met him in person.

EB: I mean, Dave was like, a major part of my childhood, and he was there when I couldn’t really go to anyone else. So yeah, of course he’d feel like a part of home. That, at least, is natural.

EB: But I don’t know if that means that I really like him, you know?

CG: THEN TAKE SOME TIME TO THINK ABOUT IT. I MEAN, UNLESS YOU’RE FEELING A SIBLING TYPE RELATIONSHIP HERE.

EB: No, not that. But then what, if I decide that I do like him in a non… you know, platonic way?

EB: should I tell him?

EB: if he didn’t feel the same, it could really make things really awkward.

EB: or, we may even drift apart because of it. I mean, I don’t think he’d just stop being my friend, but we may just kind of… get distant.

CG: IF DAVE WAS IN THAT SITUATION, WOULD YOU LET IT HAPPEN?

EB: no?

CG: THEN WHY THE FUCK DO YOU THINK DAVE WOULD?

EB: good point.

EB: oh, I’ve got a lot to think about.

CG: NO SHIT, GO AHEAD, TAKE SOME TIME.

EB: okay, I’ll see you then

EB: and um

EB: you know, don’t tell dave about…

CG: JOHN, COME ON. OF COURSE I WOULDN’T TELL DAVE. NOW, JADE ON THE OTHER HAND…

EB: no! no way, please don’t tell anyone. I haven’t even decided yet.

CG: FINE, FINE. SEE YOU WHENEVER YOU GET BACK, JOHN.

EB: bye!

Ecto Biologist (EB) ceased pestering carcino Geneticist (CG).

_______________---

AN: JOHN IS NOT A HOMOSEXUAL SPREAD THE WORD ROUND THE TOWN UP AND THE FLIPPIN HECK DOWN ALL AROUND BELLS WILL SOUND HEADS WILL POUND WE’RE HOMO BOUND

JAFNF Chapter 138

(Sunday, July 12)

Jane walked glumly behind the self proclaimed “Lord English”. It was late at night, and twelve men in varying heights and hats followed behind her. These, she remembered, were the district heads and organizers of those terrible facilities, and were also all leprachauns with time related abilities. All wore odd, green felt suits, and had hats with varying numbers, along with a variety of objects. A man with a red hat and crowbar stood beside her. In her weeks of living in Lord English’s establishment, she’d learned that he stood as a “Right hand man” of sorts. Now, she walked through the ever-familiar hallways of Crockercorp’s Headquarters, and the procession made their way to the highest floor in the entire building.

She knew where they were going too. It was nicknamed “The throne room” for its size and wealth of technology, and it was the CEO- that is, Betty Crocker’s office. Jane remembered two people in the history of the company having unrestricted access, and one was Betty Crocker. The other was a woman nicknamed “Snowman” for her icy personality, and she was one of the few people that stood in Jane’s way of becoming the next CEO. She was essentially the vice president of their company, and the amount of knowledge she retained about the company’s inner workings was invaluable. They all entered an elevator silently, and exited it just as quietly. Jane was glad that she didn’t see any familiar faces. Then again, it was late at night, so she assumed that a lot of people were just gone for the evening. Of course, that didn’t apply to the CEO. She spent many late nights here, and if she wasn’t doing that, she was likely at home in the ocean. It made her inaccessible outside of work, and she probably liked it that way.

As they walked down the final hallway to her chamber, Jane knew tonight’s interaction could go one of two ways. She’d either be forced to stand by while a fight occurred, or she’d silently watch as the company changed power, and hands. She’d been reading the company news. Lord English’s henchmen- the leprachauns of surprisingly average height- had been announcing the onslaught of the rebranding under the CEO’s nose, and assisted in the transfer of power. The date was already set for the company to change hands, and the only thing that the genuine members of Crockercorp, or various business people didn’t know was the new CEO’s identity. They finally reached the doorway, and Lord English was polite enough to knock, even if he could have just as easily teleported them all in there. Jane shouldn’t have been surprised when she heard the clicking of high heels on wood, and shouldn’t have taken in that extra breath of nervousness when she heard the door open. Of course, she was and she did, and her surprise was only emphasized by coming face to face with the Snowman herself. Wordlessly, the woman looked over the group, her black and green business casual suit shifting. After her eyes landed on Jane and betrayed surprise, she silently allowed them inside.

When they entered the room, it was similar to how she’d last seen it. The purple décor and meeting table were all the same, along with the window, where all of Crockercorp’s current projects remained. Then there was the desk, and the chair. It was large enough to be comfortable, and the office chair’s back faced them. While it was arguably one of the most comfortable seats in the world, it also served to make her look threatening. And threatening she was- Betty Crocker was rich and powerful, in both physical and influential means. She was the head of Crockercorp, and one of two major enemies that stood to take over the world, and more. She didn’t acknowledge them, until “Snowman” spoke.

“You have guests, Ms. Crocker.” Her voice was smooth, and it was only then when the tall, powerful woman before them turned in her chair. She didn’t seem surprised at any of them, just disdainful. Jane saw a few of the leprechauns wither under her glance, and Jane didn’t blame them. Every movement seemed calculated, and Jane found it hard to look up past her fuchsia lips. She seemed so superior, so domineering, so… imperious. And when she spoke, her tone was condescending.

“I can see that. They must have travelled far to come here- most of you are supposed to be halfway across the world.” Her eyes landed on Jane. “And you’re supposed to be sleeping with the fishes. Lovely ring, by the way.” She commented, and looked towards her vice president. “You may leave, if you want.” She said, but the woman smirked.

“No thanks. I want to watch you realize how it feels, Crocker.” She said, and the woman rolled her eyes.

“Well, then we betta get down to business. I bet pool stick over here is your leader, right?” She asked, referencing his pegged leg. “And Crowbar’s second in command.  So, Pool crew and cooking mama- mind telling me what the shell you’re doing in my office? Not that I don’t already know, you didn’t keep that rebranding shit quiet at all, but I wanna hear it from your mouth.” Lord English took that as his opportunity to speak.

“Of course, Betty. I’m Lord English, your timeline- or really, universe’s predominant cherub, and time Lord. And I’ve come to take the reins of your establishment, and expand.” She raised an eyebrow at him, then turned to the leprechaun she’d nicknamed Crowbar.

“You were always one of the smarter ones. Where’s the benefit in following this guy?” She asked, and he looked at her, his voice even.

“He’s doing what you’re doing, but faster. No one knows how long it’s going to take to find your special snowflake, Crocker, and he can jump into the dreambubbles whenever he wants. And the proof is here- you see her.” He jerked a thumb towards Jane, and the siren’s eyes fell on her.

“And you- why are you here?” She asked, and she glared up at Lord English.

“He’s forced me to become the heiress. I wouldn’t be here otherwise.” She said, and the siren nodded.

“You were always weak, Jane. Good to know my company’s in weak- but capable hands. So, what happens to me?” She asked, and Lord English smirked.

“I’m offering you a job under me. A handmaiden, if you will. And, of course, we’ll have to fight if you don’t accept. Before you respond, be aware that as a cherub, I’m unkillable by any method you possess, so it’s really more of a choice between life as my subordinate and death. So, tell me, which do you choose?” He asked, and he saw her weighing her options. Jane knew that if she chose to live, she’d hate her existence- but she retained the chance that she may find a weakness in the cherub. In that instant, her eyes met her vice president’s, and she made her decision.

“Fine, take it. Not the first time we’ve changed hands like this anyway, never should have expected it to be the last. You feel good about yourself yet?” She directed the question to her “Snowman”, who smirked.

“Oh, wonderful. So, when is this one being announced as CEO, or heiress? I get that she’s a puppet, but they’re making it official, right?” She asked, gesturing to Jane, and Betty Crocker leaned back. She put her legs up on her desk, and responded coyly.

“No idea how the shell I’d know, I don’t run this joint.” She said, and Lord English spoke up.

“Don’t think you’re done working, Mrs. Crocker. I’ll keep you busy- in particular, with the acquisition of someone special. You remember the person you were looking for- someone with a natural void element, that can make a gate to the bubbles?” Betty Crocker seemed curious at this.

“Yeah, I thought you didn’t need that?” She asked, and he smirked.

“Need and want are two very different things. You’ll find that taking over the universe will be infinitely easier if we place gates at the right points. More people can transverse them, making the world iodes easier to rule. Fortunately, after hopping timelines, I’ve discovered the identity of the best void person for the job. Once you’ve transformed her, she should be more than capable of using the magic necessary to open various gates.” He said, and looked down at her. “So, for your first task as my underling, I’ll need you to capture her.”

“Can’t we send the usual people out?” She questioned, and he shook his head.

“Oh no. From the intel I’ve acquired, she’d likely kill your ‘usual people’. No, it would be much safer to have you take her.” Lord English paused. “That is, if you’re up to the task.” A smirk broke out on Betty’s face, and Jane paled.

She’d expected fighting, or tricks. At least, she wanted some rebuke from the female tyrant, but found none. She suppressed a shudder- it was like she’d already prepared for the moment, and this was more of a formality than anything. Lord English smiled.

“Excellent. You.” He said, pointing at the “Snowman”, who raised an eyebrow. Her almost black skin made the whites of her eyes look unworldly, and dangerous. “Prepare Jane to be heiress- I trust that you know what to do.” He said, and added words threateningly, “And what happens if you don’t.” She frowned, but nodded, and Lord English looked at Jane. “Follow her.” He instructed, and Jane started to walk towards Snowman. As she neared her though, a random spell of confidence struck Jane, and the woman refused to leave without saying or doing something. She stood near Snowman defiantly.

“You won’t win this, tyrant. I’ll escape this, and stop you somehow!” She announced passionately, and Lord English turned to her, with raised eyebrows. Betty Crocker snorted, while Snowman looked at the interaction with interest, and Lord English Snorted.

“Really? You and what army?” He asked, and Jane faltered.

“I-”

“That’s right. Just you. You, Jane Egbert, who couldn’t keep a secret long enough to keep herself alive. You, a timid, little sprite that was too scared to do more with her abilities, too weak to learn to fight. You, who’s wasted away in my home for weeks on end, watching her family get hurt, and doing nothing. You, who wasn’t smart enough to inform those who could help, who wasn’t brave enough to accomplish anything.” He said, smirking. Jane looked down. “And even after death, you stand here, pathetically before me. You have wealths of magic that people could only dream of, and what do you do with it? Bake yourself into oblivion, and waste away as a fat, disgusting excuse for a living creature.” He laughed. “And now you plan to- what, escape me? Overthrow me? You can’t stop what’s already here, Jane.” He laughed cruelly, and the leprachauns echoed him. Lord English let it stretch on for a minute, but put his hand up. The room fell silent, save for a singular leprachaun’s laugh. A hearty ‘Dur hur hur’ echoed through the room, and Jane saw Lord English’s face change to one of irritation. Her eyes fell on him, until another one of the leprachauns hit him on the back of the head, effectively knocking off his hat. The leprechaun looked more surprised than anything at that.

“Ey Die, what’s the deal?” He questioned, and said Leprachaun, notably wearing a hat with a “6” on it, glared and whispered.

“Shut up, idiot! The boss wants us to be quiet, he held up his hand!” The man glared back, speaking just as loudly as he laughed.

“That don’t make sense. Eggs told me you hold up your hand when you have a question- hey, Eggs! Does holding up your hand mean you have a question?” In response, a man with a 12 on his striped hat responded, and she could hear a forced sort of patience in his voice.

“I’ve already sent you back to when I told you that four times, Biscuit. When you want to ask a question, raise your hand.” He said, and Biscuits beamed.

“See! I was right! Thanks Eggy- you outta ‘pologize, Die. Big ole Biscuit wasn’t wrong this time!” The first leprechaun broke in.

“I mean, not in this situation! Obviously it means that sometimes-” Another leprechaun looked towards the one who spoke with distaste.

“Die, if you’re wrong about something, just admit it. No need to be so high and mighty all the time.” He practically spat the words at him, and ‘Die’ crossed his arms.

“You’re only adding to the ruckuss! And I refuse to apologize to this ruffian. How he managed to head the entire Southeast Asia division, I’ll never know, but I refuse. He’s an idiot of the biggest degree, and if you can’t see that the boss would obviously prefer for us to be quiet, Fin, you’re just as dumb as him!” The man’s eyes widened, and he pushed up the sleeves on his strange suit.

“Well excuse me, I didn’t know that you were our leader! And for your information, he prefers Lord English, so let’s get our facts straight.” He said haughtily, and the man only rolled his eyes. “Now, apologize to Buisuits.”

“No. I refuse.” Biscuits got angry suddenly, and turned to Die.

“I deserve as much rus-pect as any of you guys! And if I can’t get it with my words, or Fin’s words, then I’ll beat you up ‘till you give it to me!” He announced, but before he could, the shortest of all of them put a hand on his shoulder. His voice was squeaky, and he had a four on his hat.

“No, he just means that this time he wanted you to be quiet, you don’t have to hit anyone, Biscuits!” He said, and Biscuits frowned.

“Now you’re lying too? I’m coming for you Clover, till you tell me what’s what!” He leaned down to punch this ‘Clover’, but he jumped high and out of the way, so his fist landed on a man with a sharp jaw line. His eyes widened, and the man reacted, a fourteen on his hat.

“Zis is zee last time you hit me, Biscuits!” He shouted, and punched him. The man stumbled back, running into another three members of the group. After that, those three got angry, and all of them began to fight. Jane watched as the group slowly fell into disarray, and Lord English only grew more irritated. Crowbar attempted to calm them down, and Snowman watched with amusement, while Betty Crocker seemed completely uninterested. Jane, ever resilient, smirked. She looked at Caliborn in the eyes, and had her hands on her hips confidently. She released a delicate cough from her mouth, and it was just loud enough to draw everyone’s attention.

“Really, ‘Lord English’? From here, it seems like we’re on more even playing ground than you’d suggest. And if we’re talking about being pathetic, than you’re quite the hypocrite here. First, it’s just cowardly to use someone’s family, and body against them- but of course, that’s just from my ‘humble’ perspective. You didn’t earn the title of ‘Lord’, and it’s a load of baloney if you think you can manage those under you. You have a talent for intimidation, and seem to be effective of gathering powerful people, but it doesn’t matter if you can’t organize them- any leader knows that. She-” she said, pointing toward Betty Crocker- “Knows that. In fact, you’re even less organized than I thought! You’ve made it so that the great Betty Crocker just works here, and I don’t even know what to think of these gentleman. If anything, what I’ve seen today has given me hope, and that’s one thing you can never take away. So, let me be clear.” She said, walking slowly, powerfully towards the self proclaimed Lord English. “I don’t care if you’re unkillable, and I don’t care if you can kill me. I will find a way to stop you, I will kill you, and rest assured- you’ll regret the day you messed with Jane Egbert’s family. Go back to managing your little group. I’ll be getting ready for my coronation as heiress, and plotting to stop you.” She said, and made her way towards the door, boldly passing Snowman. “And gentlemen!” She called, causing the men in felt to look at her. “A tip- Be kind to each other. I may be younger than all of you, but I’m smart enough to know- Operations run a lot smoother that way.” With a twirl of her skirt and a smirk, she left the room. As she exited, she heard a roar of anger from Caliborn, and sighed. Hopefully, she could live up to her words.

Later, Snowman would come out, and Caliborn teleported both to an offshoot location, somewhere within the dreambubbles. Bars separated her from a doorway, likely leading to a stairway down the tower, and it was clear that she was in a prison. Now, her only way out truly was through Caliborn’s teleportations, and she was instructed that she’d remain there until tomorrow. From what she could see, the landscape of the particular bubble was purple, much like the flooring of Betty Crocker’s office. The place she was led to was a prison cell like tower, where she’d be prepared to be heiress. From what she could see through her barred window, a guard was posted at the bottom of her tower, and she saw a few similar ones in the distance. This was jail, she realized, from some creature’s memories. Jane could only wonder how someone, or something, could have lived a life in such a purple place.

“Where are we?” She questioned, and Snowman crossed her arms.

“Betty Crocker’s dream bubble- and it encases an entire planet. She’s older than you think- only took on the name Betty Crocker in the 40’s, she was someone else before that. Lady had to live quite a life. Anyway, this is your holding cell for now. Now, I’ll need to prepare you for tomorrow.” Through Betty Crocker’s various connections, they’d found a personalized women’s suit for her to wear, and it was shipped within the hour. The only problems was that it hardly fit, and Snowman was forcing her to memorize her speech at such a pace that Jane could only wonder if this was normal. And yet, they made it work. One of Lord English’s leprachauns happened to be a tailor, and when given the right tools, he managed to make her look quite posh. She may have hated her situation, but at least she looked good while she hated it. Finally, in the early hours of the morning, Snowman deemed her ready. She’d already exited the confines of her refurbished prison cell, but lingered at the door that surely led to the exit from her tower.

“You know, this isn’t the first time the company’s changed hands like this, Jane.” She said, and Jane’s eyebrows lowered.

“I heard Betty say that earlier tonight. Who owned it before?” She asked, and Snowman looked at her carefully.

“Me. You said you were alone in this- but that may not be true. You probably have more people on your side, or at least close, than you’d think. Want my advice, Ms. Heiress?” She asked, and Jane leaned forward. “Use every person, every resource, every opportunity, and don’t feel guilty. There are ways you can convince people to do what you want, and get what you need, if you find them.”  She said, and stood in the doorway. She prepared to leave, but Snowman’s hand lingered on the knob. “And one last thing. You’re witty, Jane, and have a quality that makes people like you. You’re in a strange position too, and if you put it together the right way, it could make you quite a threat. Be smart about what you say, and who you say it in front of. Not everyone in that room tonight was a buffoon, and if I could see your potential, I’m sure someone else could too. Stay cautious, Stay careful, and only look out for yourself.” Jane nodded, and satisfied, Snowman closed the door behind her, and left Jane alone in the cell.

_______________--

John waited in Caliborn’s home listlessly. He’d been thinking about Karkat’s words for more than a week, and they discomforted and confused him endlessly. Still, at least he didn’t have to worry about torture. His treatment vastly improved from the weeks prior, and with the addition of a customized room and almost unlimited access to his friends and family, he’d almost forgotten that he was a prisoner. Of course, he didn’t forget, but the treatment was nice. He’d received a laptop too- what Lord English called a housewarming gift, and now he had access to the internet besides his cell phone. He’d started taking online classes for fun, and powered through a multitude of courses over the past week. Lord English even gave him free reign of the house, so he walked around from time to time. In reality, his house was more like a penthouse, and the fact alone surprised John. He hadn’t realized he was so high in the sky.

He knew Lord English had been trying hard to make him happy, and John wasn’t sure how to feel when he learned that it worked. Then again, he really hadn’t been sure how to feel lately. Conversations with Dave left him flushed and awkward, and he was endlessly glad that he wasn’t there for them in person, or Dave would surely know about… well, about how confused he was. John still wasn’t sure if he liked Dave in the way Karkat suggested, but he wasn’t sure that he still just felt platonic either. Obviously, John hadn’t told him yet, and Dave thankfully hadn’t brought up that interaction they had on his doorstep. Of course, it only reinforced the idea that he was just joking, but John still wondered.

It was early in the morning when John realized that Caliborn still hadn’t returned. John decided to stay up and wait- maybe something in regards to his escape would come up. Ironically enough, something did, but not from Caliborn.

arachnidsGrip (AG) began pestering ectoBiologist (EB).

AG: joooooooohn!

AG: I have to make this quick, Sollux is being such an ass.

EB: Woah, Vriska?

EB: we haven’t texted in years!

EB: nice to see you ::::)

AG: John, it is adorable that you remember that, and it’s nice to see you too.

AG: but I don’t have time to be cute now.

AG: Your mom’s coronation is… what, technically today?

AG: Oh, 8luh, no wonder Sollux is so pissed, it’s pretty early. That’s so lame of me.

EB: it’s okay, I was up!

EB: you were saying?

AG: Get ready. You’re going to need to use your powers to zap out of there soon, okay? I’ll contact you l8r with the specifics, but expect something within a week.

EB: A week? Wow, okay.

AG: Don’t tell me you don’t want to leave. You’re still in prison, john.

EB: Yeah, I know. but the treatment’s been nice.

AG: Consentr8 on the goal, John.

EB: I am, geez!

AG: Good. I’ll send some more inform8tion l8r.

EB: Okay, thanks Vriska.

AG: Seeeeeeee you!

arachnidsGrip (AG) ceased pestering ectoBiologist (EB).

John sighed at the conversation, but it made him remember. He was still in prison, even if it was a fun, comfortable one. Caliborn returned to the home, and John failed to notice how frustrated he was. He saw John, and John addressed him first.

“You’re back! Where’s mom?” He asked, and Lord English turned to him suddenly, then spoke harshly.

“What are you doing here?” He questioned, and John blinked.

“Uh… I live here?” Caliborn glared.

“Return to your room.” He said, and John looked surprised.

“But… where’s mom? I don’t want to go back without seeing her first!” John announced, and Lord English turned on him suddenly, yelling.

“Know your place, welp! You are a prisoner in my home, and I’ll have no more questions about that woman. She is where I want her, when I want her, and the people that know that are only those that I want to know! Now get out of my sight, before I chain you again!” He shouted, and John stepped back in surprise. A shocked sort of hurt passed over his features, and Lord English’s eyes widened. “I-” He found himself about to apologize, even though he was technically not obliged to be kind to him. John glared now, a spike of defiance in him as he turned away. He flew to his room and closed the door, but Lord English spoke up. He hadn’t meant that. He found himself walking up to the closed door anyway. “John? I didin’t mean to yell.” He said, and John let out a breath. He didn’t say anything. “John?” He asked, and John stayed silent. “John, speak to me.” He commanded, and John sighed.

“I know my place.” He said testily now, and Caliborn shook his head.

“No! That’s not-I mean, what I said was wrong. You’re a guest in my home, I should treat you as such.” He said, and John stayed silent. “John, please say something.” John stayed silent. Lord English leaned against the door. “John, I-” his voice croaked as he said it. Still, Lord English swallowed his pride. “I’m sorry.” He said, and John’s door fell open. He looked surprised at Caliborn.

“Really?” He questioned, and Lord English nodded.

“Yes. That wasn’t correct, or polite of me to yell. I apologize.” He said, and John looked up at the man.

“I… I forgive you.” He responded, and Lord English felt himself calm immediately. He could wonder why later.

“Good. Thank you. Now, really- why are you still awake?” He asked, and John blinked.

“I was up waiting.” John said, and Lord English looked surprised, and a little touched. He was up waiting for them, and he almost felt a surge of guilt for not bringing John’s mother, before realizing that was stupid.

“Really?” He asked, and John nodded. “Well, your mother won’t be here tonight. She’s preparing for tomorrow.” Caliborn said, and John nodded.

“Oh, okay. Why are you back so late?” He asked, and Lord English leaned backwards, against a wall. He rubbed his eyes with his hand. His mind flashed with images of those leprachauns, and the unceasingly nonchalant Betty Crocker.

“Dealing with underlings. It’s quite a bother.” John frowned.

“Sounds rough.” He said, and Lord English nodded.

“It is, believe me. But I suppose it doesn’t matter. Progress is progress.” He reported, then looked at John. And idea he’d been having recently resurfaced in his mind but- no. He could wait. There were better times to introduce things like that. “But regardless, you should get some rest. Thank you for staying awake, but- Goodnight.” He said, and John sighed from his doorway.

“Yeah- but more like good morning, right?” John asked, and a smile passed over Caliborn’s lips.

“Yes, I suppose it is. Which makes it even more important that you sleep- I don’t want to keep you up.” John nodded at that.

“Okay.  Good morning!” Caliborn wished him a similar greeting, and stepped away as John closed the door. His eyes lingered on it, and he almost felt… no. Caliborn turned away instead of facing it, refusing to think about it. It was nothing, he promised himself, and he teleported into his room for the night.

___________________---

JAFNF Chapter 139

(Monday, July 13)

Early that morning, Jacob relaxed within his home, and pulled out a newspaper. Since John’s departure, his home had been almost uninhabited. He just returned from a trip last night, and planned to leave for another this evening. And, in between that time, he really should have been working, but taking some time to relax over breakfast wouldn’t impede his progress. So, he sipped a mug of coffee, and flipped through the paper. He’d always been a fan of the business section, and decided to turn to it for the latest and greatest in the subject. His eyes scanned for something of interest, and after looking past a series of headlines, he found something.

Crockercorp seemed to be getting a new CEO for the first time in years. They were known throughout the business world for their strong female leadership. As he scanned through the article, he registered a picture near the bottom, but decided against processing it until he finished reading. He read a quote or two from the old CEO, and learned that the new one was twenty five. He registered the choice for such a young CEO as strange, but read until the end. He looked at the picture now, and saw a picture of a tall woman- that had to be Betty Crocker herself, shaking a shorter woman’s hand. The shorter looked familiar, and Jacob’s eyes moved towards the caption.

And then, he proceeded to spit out his drink. He looked at the caption again, then at the woman in the photo, and his hand grew tight on the page. This- this couldn’t be true. He looked up at Jane’s portrait, which was easily visible from his position, then back at the image. It- It was Jane. The caption even addressed her as Jane Crocker, and his hands shook as he registered it. It was her, but how?  He stood on shaky legs, too shocked to cry. He didn’t know what to do. Should he stay here? Should he go? He was trembling, and about to rip the paper in half. He needed to calm down, but he couldn’t calm himself- Roxy. He needed to see Roxy. She understood him, she would know what to do.

He fell into his car with trembling hands, the newspaper sitting in the passenger’s seat. He needed to get to Roxanne. He drove, practically ignoring the road, and still made it to her house. He pulled up to the driveway she shared with Jake English, and held the paper in his hands. Slowly, he exited the car, and shouted her name.

“Roxanne!” He called desperately, and moved towards the front door. He saw a figure in the upper window, likely noticing him, and the car. He made his way towards the porch and doorstep, and prepared to knock. Then, he felt something… odd. He instantanteously dropped the paper, without really understanding why he did it, and looked towards the door- and then he disappeared.

Jacob registered that he was moving, but couldn’t figure out how, because his body stayed still. And yet, he found himself in a completely different place. The first thing he registered was purple. Everything was purple. His eyes widened, and he looked around himself- he’d teleported.  He saw an extremely refurbished room, and turned in surprise. Where could he be? His eyes landed on a tall, long haired woman, who wore heels that made him have to angle his head upward to see her face. She looked bored, and crossed her arms.

“Hey, you John Egbert’s dad?” She asked, and Jacob’s eyes widened. How-

“I- yes, how am I… how am I here?” He asked, and she sighed. She put a hand out, and seemed to tick off things as she spoke.

“Doll cheeks teleported you. You’ve got a butler, but he won’t answer any questions. I’m not telling you why or how you’re here, but trust me, your son is safe. He should be able to tell you the wifi password, and… oh, almost forgot. Not rebubbling my shelfies is a fin-eral offence, punishable by death, so just do it. Ask the butler if you need anything. Shell ya later.” She said, and disappeared. Jacob looked at his ‘butler’. He was a small, completely black… man, or some sort of humanoid creature, with a large jester hat. Jacob was confused beyond belief, and he looked to the butler.

“I- what’s going on? Where am I? How did- who’s doll cheeks?” He asked, starting to panic. “What happened to Roxanne and… I need more information!” He announced, and the butler nodded. The jester spikes of his hat bobbed as he did it, and Jacob wondered where he was, again. He walked away, and Jacob looked at him desperately. “Wait! Don’t-” but he’d already hobbled away, and Jacob sighed. He had no idea what was going on or what to do, and even worse, he’d only brought his old pager with him, not his cellphone. The butler came back, and handed him a pamphlet. Jacob took it in surprise, and read it. The first words surprised him.

“You’ve been kidnapped!” it read, and Jacob felt his eyes widen before he looked at the pamphlet again. He took a deep breath. Nothing made sense, but he knew panicing wouldn’t help. Calmly, he continued reading. “Looks like you got in my way, but were important enough to be treated nicely. That, or someone’s made a deal for your arrangements- happens quite often here. Anyway, welcome to your new home, until you die! Here’s the wifi password, and food can be ordered through your butler. If you have any services to request, don’t hesitate to ask him! Also, if you try to escape, you’ll be caught- so don’t! Have a nice stay, and remember- OBEY!” It also included the layout of the room, and basic information. Jacob turned to the butler. The “man” stood silently in a corner.

“Is this all you can tell me?” He asked, and the butler nodded. Jacob put a hand over his eyes- he wanted to return home, and figure out what in the world was going on. “Is there somewhere else I can learn about this?” He asked, and the man with the hat nodded. Jacob waited. “Will… you tell me?” He asked, and the butler looked surprised, but nodded. He disappeared again, and came back minutes later with his cell phone. How they’d accessed it was a mystery, but if he could get in contact with his home, maybe Roxanne could tell him something. He had a suspicion that his situation had something to do with her hunting, or whatever she did.

He tried calling, but received no service. He looked at the pamphlet again, where the wifi password was listed. After connecting, he opened his Chrome app, expecting it to connect to the internet. It… didn’t. Jacob looked at the butler again.

“Thank you for this, but how do I get online? Google isn’t working.” The Butler reached his hand out for the device, and tapped it a few times. Instantly,he had access to the internet, but it seemed different. He soon realized that this wasn’t his internet at all. All the sites he used regularly didn’t seem to exist in his search engine, and it was then that the full magnitude of his situation hit him. He couldn’t get online, contact anyone, or know why he was here. He was trapped in a refurbished room, and, if that pamphlet was to be believed, he wouldn’t be leaving it for a long time.

_____________-

Roxy wouldn’t have noticed anything if he hadn’t said her name first. In truth, she wasn’t even going to get up from her comfortable position until she heard a doorbell, but she decided to anyway. Of course, she hadn’t known that it was Jacob at the door. But she had heard her name, and after a few minutes with no doorbell, she went downstairs to see if Jake locked himself out of the house, or something. She cascaded down the steps in full Lalonde glory, with her hair undone but her clothes looking nice, as usual, and opened the door.

To her surprise, no one was there. She was about to close the door when she saw a newspaper on the ground, and it was unfolded. She picked it up gingerly- there were coffee stains on it, and her lips turned down into a frown. This… this was weird. Roxy looked around, and, finding nothing strange, she took it inside. Her eyes scanned the page. It was on Crockercorp. She looked up suddenly. It couldn’t be a coincidence now. Instantly, she sprinted for her hunting gear, and only continued reading the page when she found her sword. Apparenntly, the company changed hands. She skimmed the article, then looked at the picure, and gasped.

It was Jane, shaking the hand of Betty Crocker herself. Her eyes widened, and she knew she needed to investigate now. Immediately, she moved to her phone, and searched for everything she could find on Crockercorp. She could scarcely believe it, but in the business news, Jane’s face looked directly into the camera. Roxy felt tears gather in her eyes. That was Jane, her Jane, alive and well. She couldn’t understand how, or why, but knew she needed to see Jane for herself. And, in minutes, she prepared to leave her driveway for Crockercorp’s headquarters. She refused to believe anything until she saw Jane in person though, and prepared to leave.

Then, she stopped. Something impeded her progress- namely, Jacob’s car on her driveway, but when she looked around the house and neighborhood, he wasn’t there. She kept her sword near her as she exited her car to move Jacob’s.

Roxy would never make it to the car.

Seconds later, Roxy registered the other person in the room before she recognized her surroundings. She could tell that she had been teleported- after all, she remembered the feeling after a particularly hard hunt, but couldn’t remember much from there. She learned that her hands were restrained, and after gripping them, realized that her sword was gone. After opening her eyes fully, she registered the change in lighting, and the white tile of the floor. She thought she was in a hospital, before realizing that she looked through glass. She was suspended over the ground, in a chamber or tube of some sort. When her eyes landed on the walls, she saw familiar symbols, but couldn’t place them. Her brown contacts covered her eyes as she looked at her containment device. It seemed familiar too- and suddenly, it clicked.

She was in a daemon facility. She remembered the college girl’s cell from when she’d ‘hacked it open’, and realized that she looked on it from a different point of view. A familiar, shorter scientist ran past her with a clipboard, and Roxy tried to flex. She couldn’t get free. The woman took a deep breath. She’d practiced for kidnapping, and getting distressed wouldn’t help her. She needed to think. If this was the place where Latula had become a daemon, she guessed that they’d do the same to her in here. Still, she needed to think of a way out. Jake would notice she was gone soon. The two hunters always left each other hand written notes whenever they left each other, just to ensure safety. She hadn’t left one this time, so hopefully, he’d realize something was wrong. Of course, that didn’t automatically mean he’d find her, but it raised her chances.

She looked at her containment device again. Her hands could just barely touch the sides. That, at least, was good. But she needed more than touch. Roxy found herself wishing she was Dirk right now. He’d be out of there the second he touched anything with wires. Just as Roxy began to scan for something she could use, a voice caught her attention.

“This is it, huh?” Her eyes snapped towards the sound. A woman, tall and powerful, walked up to her cage. She looked into the glass, at Roxy’s face. “Shell, am I pleased to see you. I’ve been looking for you for years.” She said, almost pressing her face against the glass. “And now I found you, Void girl. You’re going to make me very, very happy.” Roxy had questions, but stayed silent. The second this… woman walked away, she could probably get out of here. Still, to lure her out with Jane, and Jacob’s car? She needed to know they were safe. But then, where would she go? She didn’t know where her sword was, and she didn’t know how to get out, or what was wrong.

“What are you going to do to me?” Roxy finally asked, and the woman grinned.

“Oh, am I glad you asked. Usually, we give this a few weeks, but after cooking mama’s coronation, I want this, now. I’ve waited too long for you.” She said, and grinned. “Oh, and it’s shore as shell gonna hurt.” With that, the woman smirked, and her mouth opened, and Roxy knew she was in for some pain.

_______________-

John sat in his room in Caliborn’s house, unaware of the situation that surrounded him. He flopped back on his bed, and looked back at his cell phone.  He was really confused, and wanted to talk to Rose, but that had some drawbacks. It seemed that she was forgiving him, at least a little, for his ignoring her. He found himself tempted to ask for her advice on his situation, but withheld it. Rose was one of his closest friends, but anyone could slip up and bring information back to Dave.

On the topic of Dave, John still had no idea how to feel. He wasn’t homosexual. The idea of bare chests and butts didn’t appeal to John at all, and he really couldn’t picture himself just kissing another guy, or holding hands, or any of the things associated with dating that didn’t overlap with friendship. He’d looked up “Sexy man” on google images, and he had to resist the urge to cover his eyes with the images he found. None of that seemed explicitly attractive to him. Of course, John was aware that certain people thought that was attractive, but definitely not him.

But then, there was Dave. And he was completely different. Could he picture running towards Karkat in the rain in slow motion? No, never pleasantly, or unjokingly. And  yet, Dave was different. John found it difficult to admit it to himself, but… he almost wouldn’t mind kissing Dave. He wasn’t sure if holding hands with Dave would bring him the jolt that he usually felt when he did it with other people- like, for instance, Vriska, and it hadn’t done it when they’d tried it in the past. But, then again, they were doing it entirely platonically… right? And the idea of him liking Dave was completely unmapped territory in his mind.

Still, Dave didn’t seem to fall into the same category as “Sexy Man” did on Google images. But to what extent? Dave was his best friend. He’d been that for years, and now that he was seriously considering having feelings for him, John didn’t know what it would do to their friendship. How could John even differentiate his love for his best friend from normal love? Was there even a difference? If Dave really had asked him if he could kiss him that night, John didn’t know what he’d say. Because while he’d never put his lips on Karkat, something about the idea of doing it with Dave was appealing. It made him feel nervous, and a little fluttery. And those were all the normal things most would feel when going into a kiss. But did that mean that John liked him? Was he in love with Dave?

John didn’t know. He was confused, definitely. The sprite definitely didn’t know if he could like Dave, like that, and not be a homosexual. That was the definition of homosexual, after all. But he didn’t like other guys. He didn’t like guys! And yet… Dave. It was easy for Rose. She, and Kanaya, knew their preferences and found love inside them. The boy seriously didn’t doubt that they’d get married, at this rate. If Dave was a girl, it would be easy. Well, maybe. John couldn’t even confirm if he liked Dave, and couldn’t even guess if Dave liked him or not. That was even more confusing. Still, would dating Dave even be different? John didn’t know how often he’d want to hold hands, and hugging was already a daily encounter. Really, that only left kissing.

Kissing. John felt his face warm at the thought. If he dated Dave, he could kiss him. Still, did he want to? And what would it be like if he did? Dave was already taller than him, so he’d probably have to stand on his toes. Or, Dave could bend down, and John would loop his arms around his neck to reach. They’d get closer, and closer until… contact. John couldn’t help but be embarrassed at the thought. He wasn’t repulsed by the idea, and it kind of scared him. He almost wanted to. Almost, because it was Dave, and that would be really different. John groaned. That was enough. His mind had been going in circles for days, and he needed answers, now. He couldn’t seem to decide on anything! So, he scrolled through pester chum, decided he’d deal with the consequences later, and picked Rose’s handle. He could only hope that she’d be there.

Ecto Biologist (EB) began pestering tentacle Therapist (TT).

EB: Hi, Rose

TT: Hello, John. How are you?

John thought about it. He was trapped in an admittedly comfortable penthouse, lying to his friends, and not  sure when Vriska planned to come in and help him stop the looming end of the world.

EB: Good! What about you?

TT: I’m doing well. So, what brings the wonderful John Egbert to my humble abode?

EB: Um, wanting to have a conversation with my friend Rose?

EB: We seem to talk less since I met Dave in person all those months ago.

TT: Well, I certainly remember a point in time when I desperately attempted to have conversations with you.

TT: However, for whatever reason, you refused to enlighten me with what was going on.

TT: Oh how the tables have turned.

EB: Rose, I’m sorry.

EB: I understand if you don’t want to talk to me.

EB: This was a bad idea. I’m sorry. Bye.

TT: No!

TT: John, wait.

TT: I… I’d like to have a conversation, it’s truly nice to see you again.

TT: I suppose that I just can’t understand why you’d go to such lengths to shut me out, only to come talk to me later.

TT: And the fact that you’ve withheld your reasoning truly hasn’t helped.

EB: I know… I really can’t tell you though.

EB: I want to but

TT: But?

EB: I’m sorry.

TT: I see.

TT: Well, I would like to talk, John.

TT: Though, frankly, I’m not sure how to start.

EB: Tell me about your week!

TT: Well, the week itself was rather uneventful.

TT: I knitted a few things for my etsy shop, and made a few sales.

TT: But this past weekend was rather nice.

EB: What happened?

TT: A certain Vampire appeared at my doorstep and took me out on a date. Thankfully, I heard the doorbell ring and reached it before Mother did, in her likely drunken state.

EB: This vampire wouldn’t be Kanaya, would she?

TT: Of course she was.

TT: Anyway, it was lovely.

EB: What did you guys do?

TT: Oh, we went to see a theatre adaptation of a favorite book of mine, and she gave me a Harry Potter scarf she made me. Not exactly applicable in the summer, but the design was flawless.

EB: Cool!

TT: She is, quite.

TT: I’ll never know how I was blessed enough to end up with her. I care about her more than words can describe.

TT: She’s just so unendingly wonderful. Everything about her is fantastic.

EB: Everything?

TT: Well, her one bad quality is that she lives hundreds of miles away. I’ll admit to more than one dark night of intense jealousy because of it. And, I suppose that she’s quite purposeful- she tends to use any extremes to solve problems faster, but I’m not even entirely sure that the quality itself is a bad thing.

TT: It seems that everything she does comes from a good place, and her creativity and kindness remains unmatched.

TT: I’ve scarcely cared for anyone more than I have towards her.

EB: Wow, really?

TT: Yes.

TT: And being around her, John. It’s likely one of the best feelings in the world.

TT: She’s just so wonderful. Not to mention witty, and obviously beautiful. Quite graceful as well, and kinder than anything could describe.

EB: You two must really like each other.

TT: Oh, It flusters me endlessly to say it, but no. I really liked her the first day I met her, well before I had the pleasure to get to know her. Now? I believe that I truly love her, John.

TT: My one hope is that I may be as good to her as she is to me, because she’s likely the best part- or, one of the best parts of my life.

EB: Rose…

EB: That’s probably the sweetest thing I’ve ever read.

TT: It’s the truth.

EB: D’aww.

TT: But look at me- wasting time ranting away. You’ve reached out to me for the first time in months, and now I’ve trapped you in a one sided conversation.

TT: I’m sorry.

EB: It’s okay!

EB: I don’t mind. You were sounding really nice.

TT: Regardless, I’ve been rude.

TT: Tell me, how was your week, John?

EB: Kinda boring, I didn’t do much. And lately, I’ve just been sitting around all day, trying to figure things out.

TT: Oh, figure things out? And what might you be trying to understand?

TT: Calculus? Feelings? An intriguing mixture of both?

EB: Yes, Rose. I’ve been desperately trying to understand my feelings for math by using calculus equations.

EB: I can graph a twice-differentiable function of my hatred and like now, and plot points using trig to locate my feelings.

EB: That’s totally a plausible thing that I’ve been sitting around and doing.

TT: ha ha, John. You may find it irrational, but Jade’s managed to do it more than once, and show her work.

EB: haha yeah probably. She’s smart like that.

TT: Quite. But do go on, what’s confused you?

EB: Lots of weird, like, feelings and junk.

EB: Karkat says I just have to figure it out myself, but I have no idea!

TT: Ooh, do continue. What seems to be the problem?

EB: umm…

TT: You don’t have to share, of course, but I may be able to offer a slightly more professional perspective than Karkat.

TT: Unless he’s spent years pouring into psychology books, that is.

EB: He hasn’t. But, I can’t say the same about romance novels. He’s got some, like, intense theories on that stuff.

TT: I’d love to hear about them. Perhaps after you tell me what’s confused you so much? If you want to, of course.

EB: If… you promise you won’t tell anyone.

EB: The details of this conversation really have to stay here.

TT: Intriguing. I believe that I’d have to agree anyway, you are already holding various messages in your hands from me that would be rather embarrassing if shared.

TT: So, yes, the details of this conversation will stay in this text only.

EB: Cool.

EB: Well, I guess… okay. So, you know how I always say that I’m not homosexual?

TT: I do. Having doubts?

EB: Not exactly. Are there, like, exceptions to that?

TT: Generally, no. If you have a sexual fondness for men, as another male, I’d say that you’d be considered homosexual.

EB: Okay, but what if it’s just like, one man. And you don’t like man bodies or anything, but you just happen to maybe like one person?

EB: But even then, you’re not really sure? Because you probably don’t want to have sex with them, but you may possibly not have as much of a problem with kissing them?

TT: Well, it all depends.

TT: Are we talking about sexual attraction, or romantic?

TT: Because it’s quite possible to be, say, panromantic and asexual.  Not common, but possible.

EB: I… uh, don’t really know what that means but

EB: Kinda both?

TT: Well, generally, would you focus on the romantic aspects of a relationship, or the sexual ones first?

TT: And generally, which would be more important?

EB: Probably romantic? I’m not even an adult yet!

TT: I see. Well, if I may ask- are you feeling romantic attraction to an individual?

EB: I think so. I don’t know though.

TT: Interesting. That’s probably what you should work out first. Tell me, where does your doubt about your attraction come from?

EB: I guess I just don’t know if this is just me feeling the usual, close friendship vibes, versus the romantic ones. And, if I ever really felt one or the other?

EB: Like, if I actually like this person, did I ever actually just feel friendship? Or, when did my feelings change, if they did?

TT: Let’s see. I suppose the easiest way to tackle that is to decide whether you have a crush on them or not.

EB: But I don’t know! It’s not like I want to, like, have really weird fantasies involving bottles of champagne or candles or whatever.

TT: Do you mean, fantasies relating to sexual interaction?

TT: Because, if so, I believe that the general definition of a crush would help you.

EB: Isn’t it just when you want to hold someone’s hand because they’re pretty and make out with their face or something?

TT: Oh, John. I adore you, really, but no. You’ve described something entirely physical.

TT: No, the idea of a crush means that you crave a relationship.

TT: A crush, also known as limerence and infatuated love, is an emotional desire for a romantic relationship caused by romantic attraction to someone. It is a desire that is often temporary in nature and possibly never acted upon. With a crush there is often an overwhelming desire to have the feelings reciprocated.

EB: But how do I know that I’m romantically attracted to someone? I thought I kind of described that earlier?

EB: Unless, that’s different too.

TT: Yes, it’s quite. Romantic attraction is an emotional response that most people often feel that results in a desire for a romantic relationship with the person that the attraction is felt towards. While physicality isn’t included, gender tends to define it.

EB: But what even counts as a romantic relationship?

TT: Wikipedia says that  romantic love is a relative term, but generally accepted as a definition that distinguishes moments and situations within intimate relationships to an individual as contributing to a significant relationship connection.

TT: But after years of psychology? I’d really say that romantic attraction revolves around the idea of having a close, personal relationship.

EB: But how is that different from friendship?

TT: One could say that it’s not as close. For instance, take our friendship. We can agree that we have that at least, yes?

EB: Yes

TT: And yet, I don’t claim to know everything about you. I’ll always be there for you, yes, but I wouldn’t define our relationship as intimate in the slightest.

EB: But what about really, really close friends?

TT: Are we not?

EB: No, no we are! But can’t friends be closer than that?

TT: Honestly? It depends on the pair of friends. Often though, those really, really close friends do have romantic attraction to each other. Not to say, of course, that they have crushes on each other or would have a “romantic relationship”.

EB: But how would I even tell?

TT: For me, I’d say any form of attraction beyond what I feel with, say, Jade would be considered romantic.

TT: Not including familial relationships.

EB: Oh! So then, what I have with Dave counts as friendship?

TT: Well, not necessarily.

TT: I think it would really be better for you to draw your own conclusions there, but I personally believe that in the past year, you and Dave have grown closer than Jade and I have.

EB: Well, yeah, but that’s because he moved here!

TT: And if I didn’t know Kanaya, and Jade moved here, we would likely have a similar relationship.

TT: Startlingly similar, actually.

EB: So then…. You wouldn’t have a crush on her?

TT: No, I probably would. Under those circumstances.

EB: So I have a crush on Dave?!

TT: Calm down. Not necessarily. But, I would personally say that you feel a sort of romantic attraction to him.

EB: Oh. Wow. I… oh man.

TT: That doesn’t make you homosexual, and it doesn’t even mean that you have a crush on him.

EB: Really?

TT: Of course. Many close friends feel romantic attraction to each other because of the sheer depth of their relationships. That doesn’t mean they have crushes on each other.

TT: If I may go so far to assume, can I ask if this person you’re having so much confusion about is Dave?

EB: …

TT: John, I’m sworn to confidentiality, and I won’t judge you.

EB: ….

EB: Yeah, it’s him.

TT: Interesting. What made you question your friendship?

EB: We had this kind of awkward moment on my porch when he was jokingly asking me if he could kiss me, and we were interrupted before I could answer, but I talked to Karkat about it. He asked me to figure out what I would say and I didn’t know which was super awkward, and then… you know.

TT: Ah. Some more tact on his part likely would have been appreciated.

EB: Yeah, maybe.

TT: Anyway, back on topic. Do you have a crush on Dave? Or a squish? Or something of that nature?

EB: Oh geez I don’t even know what a squish is, rose.

TT: A squish would be the aromantic counterpart of a crush. That is, you may desire some non sexual, and nonromantic (platonic)contact with him.

EB: I… Maybe?

TT: Let’s see then. Do you wish for the closeness you two share to be refuted?

EB: What do you mean?

TT: Do you want him to know you as deeply as you know him?

TT: Do you wish to know more about him, and delve into the depths of Dave Strider, so you can be there for him more?

EB: Oh man. Yeah, I was thinking that over spring break.

TT: Okay. Have you had any, say, fantasies about physical contact with him?

EB: Physical contact?

TT: Not necessarily sex. It includes “Bro hugs”, if that offers you some perspective.

EB: I guess, yeah.

TT: Specifics?

EB: I mean, I really wanted to hug him in person before he moved here.

EB: And, I guess I’ve thought about kissing him once or twice? Just to see what it would be like.

TT: Anything else?

EB: We held hands a few times?

TT: Interesting. Tell me, how do you feel about his other partners? I mean, other people he’s dated.

EB: Well, I like Jade! But they only dated for a week, so I don’t know if that counts.

TT: Anyone else?

EB: Um… Terezi.

EB: Not a big fan of Terezi.

TT: Is she an inherently bad person, or something of that nature?

EB: No, she’s got some admirable qualities.

EB: I just don’t like seeing her when I walk into a room.

TT: I see.

TT: John, I don’t wish to alarm you, but…

EB: No way.

TT: Quite way, you may have a crush on Dave.

EB: What??

EB: But, I didn’t think I was gay!

TT: Slow down, John. You may be attracted to him romantically, not physically.

TT: Have you ever considered male bodies?

EB: Yeah, and I’m not, like, sexually attracted to them or anything!

TT: Well, do you think that could change, with Dave?

EB: I don’t know!

TT: For now, since you’re in high school, you probably won’t have to worry as much about the sexual aspect of relationships just yet.

EB: But, I have a crush on Dave? For sure?

TT: Most likely, yes.

EB: But I didn’t think I was homosexual!

TT: You may not be.

TT: You’re likely biromantic, or panromantic. Usually, most people’s sexualities align with their romantic choices, but not always.

TT: Though, I really don’t believe that it’s as important to classify yourself as it is to, say, come to terms with your feelings.

EB: That’s so weird though.

EB: Me… and Dave?

TT: Try saying it aloud.

John took in a deep breath. This was weird. Too weird. But this was the advice Rose was giving him, so…

“I have a crush on Dave.” He whispered, and his eyes widened. John’s cheeks flooded with heat. “Oh, man. I have a crush on Dave.” His heart rate sped up. Was it true? Could it be?

TT: How do you feel?

He felt uncomfortably light, like he was floating- oh, he was. John noticed a little queasiness, some fluttering in his stomach, and his face and ears were rapidly getting warmer. He was embarrassed, and a little tingly. He had a crush on Dave. Dave, his best friend for ten years. Dave, who would risk his life to save him. Dave, who accidentally moved into his life, who he’d had his share of ups and downs with. Who was there for him when no one else was, warm when John was cold, worried when John wanted to be alone. He had a crush on Dave.

EB: I don’t know.

EB: Weird?

TT: Happy? Sad? Disgusted?

EB: I don’t know, kind of all three? A little tingly?

EB: Rose what the heck do I do?

TT: I believe that’s the area Karkat would be more suited to handle, really.

TT: And you can always figure out your sexual orientation later.

EB: gosh I have no idea what to do now.

TT: Well, if you need help coming to terms with your romantic orientation, I’m here.

EB: No, I guess I’ll just have to deal with that.

EB: Thank you, I think.

TT: You’re welcome, John. I wish you the best in dealing with this.

EB: Yeah, thanks. I think I need to think. Or something.

TT: Of course. We’ll talk later then?

EB: Yeah, soon. See you later.

TT: I’ll see you, John.

Tentacle Therapist (TT) ceased pestering ectoBiologist (EB).

____________--

AN: AAAND CUT!! Geez John, took you long enough, am I right? Also, I learned a ton of stuff about sexualities and junk in doing “research” for this chapter. So that was pretty cool!

JAFNF Chapter 140

(Tuesday, July 14).

A day passed since his conversation with Rose, and John ended up talking to Karkat about what to do next. His two friends really would make a good team. John resolved to tell Dave what he was feeling whenever he saw him in person, and tried not to be too awkward until then. He still hadn’t received any news from Vriska, and he hoped all was going according to plan. After all, Caliborn already had access to Betty Crocker’s corporation, and there was little he’d need to do from there until he formally took over the world. He’d seen his mom twice in the past two days, since her “new job” had her working more office hours than sleep times. John could only hope that she was being treated well. Still, if her treatment was even within a metaphorical ten mile radius of the way he’d been treated, John would be okay.

Caliborn had been kind to him. When he was home- sorry, here, he seemed to make it his goal to make John comfortable. He was oddly nice to him, and despite John’s position, almost treated him as if he were a family member. Or something. Either way, Caliborn was extremely kind, and had taken to doing all he could to comfort John, and make him happy. His actions somewhat cofused John- he seemed completely different from the manipulative brute he’d known mere weeks ago, and John was almost convinced that the personality died all together. It was almost as if feeding on John turned him into an entirely good person, but John knew that theory was ludicrous.

He still felt guilty about lying to his friends and family about this so called “Biology Camp”. Still, it was more than worth it if they were safe, and would continue to be. Hopefully, Vriska and future Dave’s plan would stop the world from crumbling to pieces, but it was nice to have some assurance that his friends and family would be fine until then.

____________-

“That’s enough for today, gate girl. You should be passing out about now, Night Night!” Roxy registered that evil, evil woman’s pink, grinning lips, and let her eyes fall shut, and her body went limp against her restraints. Satisfied, the woman’s heels clicked towards the door, opened it, and closed it. Lights dimmed, and Roxy could tell that she was alone.

The hunter forced her eyes open as her tormentor finally left the room. Her body felt like it was burning, her head hurt, and she was sure that her back was trying to collapse upon itself. She wanted to fall into unconsciousness, but refused. She’d wasted her chances last night, since her body was too weak to actually stay awake. She refused to let the same thing happen again. Her hands burned as she pressed them to the cool glass in front of her, then into a panel behind her. She blindly tapped and rewired, and eventually, the glass slid open and her restraints were free.

Roxy remembered the layout of the last daemon facility she’d been to, and only hoped that this was the same. She collapsed on the ground in a heap, then struggled to pull herself up. She needed to get out, she needed to leave. Roxy stood on shaking legs, then began forward. She walked towards a door, and went into a hallway. The woman heard a voice down the hallway, and swift walking.

“Y-Yes Mrs Crocker! I’m heading there right now, Ms!” It was male, and deep. Roxy quickly decided to go the opposite direction, down the dark hallway. The person, presumably a guard, couldn’t see her. Roxy fled in the opposite direction quietly. With luck, it would lead her to a place where she could get outside, and not have to fight.

The hunter made it all the way to a room with some occupied beds, but everyone inside was asleep. There were ten, again, which meant that she was going the right way. There was a door, and after opening it quietly, she set off down another hallway. The woman felt a ladder at the end of it, and knew. This was where she could get out. With some effort, Roxy dragged herself over the rungs, and felt the top for signs of movement, or noise. She heard nothing, and quietly, she opened the hatch above her. The woman pulled herself up as silently as possible, even as her body screeched in protest.

She looked around, then froze. She was sitting at the back of one stationary, and huge guard. He stood in front of a panel that would surely lead to en exit. Roxy considered her options, and lowered the rate of her breathing. If she started a fight, they would surely hear it downstairs. She didn’t have any knock out mixtures on her hand, and he looked difficult to asphyxiate. Well, there was always that one move, but she’d have to be extremely careful. She didn’t know if her body could do it now- but she had to.

Silently, she crept along the room’s floor on all fours, and moved to a corner. The woman, with some effort, of course, climbed up the narrow walls of said corner, and took in a breath. She’d attack in three… two…. One. Roxy launched herself at him, and tensed her open legs. She caught his face with her thighs, effectively covering his mouth, then twisted in the opposite direction. It wasn’t strong enough to do what she wanted, but she didn’t stop. He’d begun to make noises of protest, and Roxy angled her still closed legs towards a wall, and twisted at his neck. If she did it right, she’d snap the neck without detatching the head, but that was proving to be a difficult task.

The guard- a daemon, the Jake in her noted, made a noise of protest, and Roxy had to practically shove her thigh in his mouth to silence him. He crashed against a wall now, but didn’t knock Roxy off. The woman switched into a final position, and had one pointed foot on his back, and the other on his front.With some effort, she moved her legs in a scissoring motion- and then she felt it. A little “pop!” that meant that he was no longer breathing. The now dead daemon crashed to the ground, and Roxy launched herself off him. She didn’t have time to enjoy victory of any kind- that was probably loud. She put her hands on the panel he guarded, and hacked into it almost instantly. The large, storage door-like metal gate to the outside started to open… but then, Roxy realized that it was twisting. It made a loud sound, and was still too narrow for her to get through. She looked behind her nervously, and couldn’t believe her situation. She’d broken out of a confined cell, gotten past a guard, gotten past ten sleeping daemons, and passed the largest guard she’d ever seen, all without any weapon, and with a body that was on the verge of collapse.

Only to be stopped by a fucking garage door. She sank to the ground, and the second the door got close enough to being big enough for her to leave, she rolled out. Then, she remembered one problem. These facilities were always located in the middle of nowhere. Roxy found herself at the base of a mountain near an empty road, and almost cried in frustration. There was nothing stopping anyone from seeing her here, and she distinctly remembered Jake driving for at least twenty minutes before she saw signs of civilization. Her eyes watered. She didn’t want this. She had minutes before people would be after her, and had no prospect of a ride, or anything. She was trapped. This was hopeless.

And then, Roxy stopped. No, that wasn’t right.  Jake said that nothing was ever hopeless. Ever since they’d first started hunting, and they were two inexperienced twenty five year olds swinging holy water around, and trying to make a difference, they’d been told that no situation was ever hopeless. She just needed to think, now. Her eyes swiveled around, in a desperate search for answers. Her eyes fell on the slowly opening garage door- they’d be here in seconds, and she thought more.Panicking wouldn’t help. What she needed to do was stay calm, and- the guard! Of course.

Roxy ran over to him, and felt his pockets. She found herself praying, but it was more of a desperate, mental repetition of the word please. Eventually, she felt a lump in his pocket, and pulled it out- a cell phone! It had a passcode, but Roxy got past it instantly. She looked at the signal. There were no bars, but she refused to let it get her down. What she needed to do was hide. The woman looked at the mountainside the facility was built into, and quickly found a bit of foliage. It wouldn’t do much, but it could hopefully cover her. She thanked the daemon facility’s good wifi in her head, and downloaded an instant messaging app.

Her steps from there were obvious. She sent Jake a text, and found her coordinates, then put them in there too. She’d written “CODE RED” as her username, so he knew. She looked for the nearest populated area, and found that the closest one was way too far to travel if she was being searched for. Now, all she could do was wait. The woman hid the cell phone she’d used in a separate area, so hopefully, if they found her, they at least wouldn’t know that she’d used that. They came out seconds later, with at least four shaken daemons.

“Damn idiots! If I have to call  _ him _ because of this, you’re all getting dusted!” The woman that tormented her shouted her words, and Roxy winced. A few daemons passed by her, in both directions. At least, that would keep them busy for a while. She looked back to the woman. Her tormentor held a two sided trident, and looked at the daemon guard who laid on the ground beneath her. In her frustration, she stabbed the “fork” in him, and his form instantly became dust. She stepped over it with her giant heels, and slapped a hand to her forehead. “After all the facilities, and years, I get stuck with some incompetent group of idiots. This was my planet to rule, and I get that taken from me too?” she asked herself, aloud. The woman waited, and Roxy sat with baited breath. An hour passed, and the four shaking daemons returned, leaving behind four vehicles. She was even luckier, it seemed.  They got out of the vehicles, and the one that ws trembling the most moved to the front of the group, and began to speak.

“M-Ms C-Cr-” She cut him off, enraged.

“Oh, shell no. You betta not be coming back here to tell me you didn’t find her.” The daemon stumbled over his words.

“Well, W-We can’t find her blood signature because our tracker’s j-jammed miss, and w-we didn’t see her on the road, s-so-”

“Clam the shell up!” She shouted, and backhanded him across the face. Roxy winced as he fell to the ground. “You’re shellin me, that you can’t find one fuckin girl, who couldn’t have traveled more than a three mile radius? Are you joking?” She asked, and all four daemons shook. Roxy almost felt bad for them, until she remembered what they were. “Are you actually telling me that I’m gonna have to call him, because you incompetent idiots can’t locate a single hunter?” She asked again. One daemon that stood closer to the front than most was apparently really unlucky today. The woman, who Roxy seriously doubted was human, glared at him, and her pink mascara covered eyes seemed to glow red and blue. The daemon was surrounded in flashes of red and blue, and was levitated into the air.

“N-No, please-” was all he got out, until he spontaneously combusted. His dust fell on his two standing and one laying companions, who looked on in horror.

“If I have to call English, this is happening to you.” Her voice lowered dangerously, and the three men looked on in horror, until a voice sounded from behind the tall, clearly not human woman.

“Miss Crocker.” Roxy’s head snapped up, as did hers apparently, at the sound of the new voice. A man with a green coat and flashing, striped scarf stood before her. He had green, thick, flesh covering his face, but instead of a face, he seemed to just have a skull for a head. But, the skull was covered in flesh? Either way, he was well muscled, and had a wooden leg. He stood heads above the ferocious woman that had been yelling before, even in her gigantic high heels. And her name… Ms Crocker? What could that mean? She looked nothing like the Betty Crocker from the photo Roxy had seen days ago, with her long hair, and dark, grey skin.

“D- er, Lord English. Good evening.” She said, attempting to save face in front of her workers and the man looked at her coldly. The three sprinted onto their various cars and drove away, and the powerful, evil woman let them go. “I- I didn’t call you, why are-”

“You were going to, I decided that I’d already be here. You understand that I wanted to be considerate enough to save you the phone call.” He said, and the woman looked down. She muttered something under her breath, and he either didn’t catch it or ignored it. “What seems to be the problem?” He asked, and her irritation, once lost by surprise, resurfaced.

“These damn idiots you gave me to work with. They lost my gog damn gate maker.” She said, and he frowned.

“And have you found her again? She’s integral to our plans.” He commented, and she sighed.

“I sent daemons out- they’re looking for her now.” She said, and looked at him. “I can’t believe those idiots let her-”

“Is this a joke?” He interrupted, and ‘Ms. Crocker’ paused her words. Her eyes opened wider, and she could see how barely contained his rage was. She swallowed, and seemed to realize her position- it was clear that he was her superior. She swallowed, then answered boldly- subservience clearly didn’t come naturally in this woman.

“You’re asking me? These workers you gave me are the gog damn-”

“Silence.” He said, and she quieted instantly. “Honestly Betty, I expected so much more competence out of you.” He said, and sighed. “I give you what you’ve been craving for years, and you lost her? Then, you have the impudence to disturb my evening with John, blame my workers, and curse in my face when you can’t locate a woman that’s right here?” He asked, and she blinked. Roxy stiffened. John? And more importantly, had he located her?

“I- I’m sorry sir, right here?” Betty Crocker asked, and he rolled his bulging eyes.

“You’re joking. How far do you think she would have gotten? On top of that, you leave her a vehicle to use the second you walk away? She’s likely contacted her entire hunting base now.” He childed, and Betty Crocker still clearly didn’t understand.

“You said she’s right here, sir?” She asked again, and Lord English covered his face in his hands. He took a few obvious steps, and Roxy braced herself. She’d been caught. He bent down over her bush, found a limb- her arm, and pulled. Roxy, though she struggled, came out of the bush, and Betty gawked at her. “No- how in shell-”

“She hadn’t left the mountainside! Obviously, she’d have nowhere to go! I don’t need space abilities to know this- she stayed in a bush, likely listened to the conversation and laughed at your stupidity.” He pushed Roxy towards her, and she held her arms back. Lord English got close to her face, and Roxy could see that Betty Crocker was terrified. “Let me make this clear- my workers are not the problem. If you really can’t find someone standing right next to you, you’re not fit to rule this planet, or others. Of all the incompetence I’ve seen in my days, this is the most insulting.”He said, and looked towards the bush where Roxy hid.

“I- I didn’t-”

“Silence!” He shouted again, and glared. “You would do well to be less prideful, whelp. If I’m ever disturbed by such idiocy again, I’ll kill you before you even make the call. Do you understand, Betty Crocker?” he asked, and the woman, trying desperately to hold his gaze, looked down in shame.

“I… understand, sir.” She said, and Lord English moved away from her in disgust.

“And what do you plan to do when her hunting force arrives?” He asked, and she still couldn’t look up.

“I’ll greet them with some of our specialized daemons- the ones that have been under my control for a while.” She said, and he nodded.

“Finally, a competent answer- but I’ll provide you with your old leprachauns to ensure victory. I trust that we won’t have another situation like tonight, yes?” He asked, and she nodded.

“Yes, sir.” He let out a breath, and his visage glowed white. Suddenly, he looked like a normal man, but super buff, tall, and still sporting his wooden leg.

“Good. See to it that you don’t disturb me again.” The man, “Lord English”, disappeared, and Betty looked down at Roxy. The three shaking daemons returned again, only to see Roxy standing there. Trembling, they looked towards Betty Crocker, who turned her back towards them.

“Get the gate girl strapped back in again.” Her voice lacked all of the authority it had before her confrontation with her boss, and the daemons stood there, unsurely. “Do it now, fish shits! I can still kill you.” She said, and the three hurried to do it. Roxy almost screamed. She couldn’t fight back, but she knew she didn’t want to go back down there, into that facility. She tried struggling, but the daemons were strong, and they brought her back down with ease. As she went back into that hole, with questions about John, and Betty Crocker, and Lord English, she felt it again. Even if Jake came, he was walking into a death trap. Things were once again hopeless, and no amount of thinking positively would get Roxy out of it.

\-----------------_

John flushed as he felt his phone notification bleep red. He knew who it was, but since his recent revelation, he’d been dreading talking to Dave, while also dying to speak with him. With a sigh, John realized that he couldn’t just ignore his best friend, even if he had some… possibly requited (he hoped, oh gosh what the heck did that even mean?) feelings. John took a deep breath. He just needed to relax. It was Dave- he could talk to him. He could do this.

TurntechGodhead (TG) began pestering ectoBiologist (EB).

TG: Hey hey hey

Okay, John had to be cool. Casual. Chill.

EB: hi Dave!

Nailed it. Unless, that exclamation mark was too desperate looking? Oh gog, he probably already knew.

TG: What’s up?

EB: Not much, just hanging out over here. What about you?

TG: Just got done with a strife.

EB: Oh, “cool”.

Joking. Yes. Jokes were good.

TG: Yeah, it is. John, you saw how badass it was. Remember the private sword demo bro and I gave you, with our ministrife?

EB: wait, private?

TG: VIP’s only.

EB: so, you mean, other people haven’t seen you strife?

TG: well, bro let jake see one too.

TG: so, you’re one of two people in the world who’s seen it.

John felt his face heat up. Oh no, what did that mean? Him being the only person? Did Dave actually like him? Okay, that was a little ridiculous. John realized he needed to calm down.

EB: wow, I had no idea

TG: pretty special position you’re in, John.

EB: haha thanks

Cool. Chill. Bro. Good.

TG: hey, any time john.

TG: well, no, I actually kind of hate the hell out of strifing.

TG: but I’m willing to do it if you want.

EB: you shouldn’t do stuff you don’t want to because of me.

TG: why not?

EB: because you don’t want to?

TG: eh, its worth it if you’re entertained.

EB: no it’s not!

EB: me being entertained isn’t worth you doing stuff you don’t want!

EB: especially if you get hurt during it, geez.

TG: it’s not like it’s a big deal.

TG: and if you enjoy it, I don’t have a problem with it.

EB: yes, it is a big deal!

EB: my enjoyment isn’t worth you getting hurt.

TG: yeah, it kind of is.

EB: no it’s not.

EB: dave, it’s not.

And John momentarily forgot about his awkwardness to actually be worried.

TG: why not?

EB: maybe because I don’t want you to get hurt?

EB: especially not for me!

TG: it’s not as bad as you’re making it sound.

TG: I mean, if it was getting trampled on by elephants in a ring over and over again for your enjoyment, okay, I get it.

TG: but strifes aren’t that bad.

EB: yes they are! you come back all bruised and scratched and bleeding and stuff.

EB: I know it’s to use swords better, or something, and it pays off because you look pretty cool, but I don’t want all that to happen if it doesn’t have to.

EB: don’t get me wrong, I really appreciate you showing me that one time, and you looked awesome! but I don’t like the idea of you doing that for my entertainment.

TG: why though?

TG: I don’t have a problem with it.

TG: and if I’m going to come back bruised and bleeding from a strife anyway…

EB: But I don’t want you scheduling extra ones for my entertainment!

EB: and when you get hurt, it stops being as fun.

EB: Why would I want to see you get hurt? I don’t like watching people I care about get hurt.

TG: Aww, John.

TG: I care about you too.

Oh, never mind, he remembered again. Still, John tried to stay on topic.

EB: Not the point I was making! But thanks.

TG: well, what if I like getting bruised for your entertainment?

EB: you like that?

EB: why??

TG: I don’t know?

TG: I mean, it’s not like I explicitly like it.

TG: But I don’t hate it.

EB: You don’t?

TG: Hey, it’s not like I really ever minded fighting.

TG: and getting congratulated, and worried about afterwards isn’t really that bad either.

EB: Does your brother not do that?

TG: uh

TG: not really?

TG: If the injuries are really bad he won’t leave me to die or whatever.

EB: but you look like you get really hurt afterwards!

TG: He used to. I just stopped needing it.

EB: But you want it.

TG: … I guess, sometimes.

EB: And why won’t you tell him that?

TG: Don’t want to. Plus, I’ll probably sound really stupid, so

EB: Asking for a bandaid isn’t stupid.

EB: Dave, that’s not stupid.

EB: He wouldn’t laugh at you, would he?

TG: No fucking clue man. Either way, it’s not a big deal.

EB: It kind of sounds like it is!

EB: Jake and Roxy always congratulate me after training.

EB: Wait, are you saying that you don’t get ice and take care of yourself after fights because you’re too embarrassed to do it at home?

TG:…

EB: Dave!

EB: That’s not okay.

TG: Well, it’s not like he does it either.

EB: He’s a ninja sword master! He probably doesn’t need it!

TG: Neither do i.

EB: Yeah, you do!

EB: Look, if you really feel that awkward doing it at home, just come to my house and get taken care of, okay?

EB: I don’t mind congratulating you, or applying gauze when nessesary. And if you want me to watch so I can cheer you on, or be there to support you, just call me, okay?

EB: I don’t care what time it is, if I can be there, I’ll be there.

EB: You should always feel loved and supported, and if you’re really too embarrassed to ask that of your family, I’ll be there for you, okay?

TG: John

EB: yeah?

TG: That’s so gay.

John froze as he read the words. He wasn’t- John hadn’t meant it like that! He typed back a response immediately.

EB: I’m not gay!

TG: Woah, that was quick.

TG: Defensive too. You sure there’s something you’re not telling me?

Normally, John probably would have realized he was joking. At least, he would have stopped and thought about it first. But now wasn’t normal, and with his recent crisis involving feelings, and change, he didn’t.

EB: Shut up! Never mind, I take it back. Sorry.

TG: John?

TG: Oh shit, I didn’t actually mean that, I was joking.

TG: Fuck John, I’m sorry.

EB: Oh

EB: No, it’s okay.

EB: Sorry for overreacting

John’s heart stopped beating as fast. He could calm down.

TG: It’s okay. Sorry for, you know, saying that.

TG: But you usually don’t get so

TG: Defensive when I say stuff like that.

TG: Is something actually going on?

EB:…

EB: No, it’s nothing!

EB: Really, it’s not a big deal, just stuff that we don’t need to worry about ever.

TG: John.

TG: Have you been questioning your… you know, interests?

John was starting to get nervous. How had they even gotten to this point? It was getting dangerously close to the topic he’d been thinking about almost constantly, and John didn’t like that. If they kept on like this, he’d get flustered- he needed to shut this down now.

TG: John, come on. You know I won’t judge you.

TG: With whatever it is. I’m bi, not like, homophobic or whatever, because that’s bullshit.

EB: No, really. it’s not a big deal.

TG: If… you’re sure.

EB: yeah, I am, geez.

TG: I’m serious.

TG: You can talk to me about whatever, John.

EB: Dave, I know!

EB: Trust me. It’s not even a big deal.

And that, at least, wasn’t a lie. In the grand scheme of what had been going on, was his admittedly awkward crush on Dave a big deal? When people were getting kidnapped, and the end of the world was a threat? No. It wasn’t a big deal at all. John relaxed a little.

TG: Okay, if you say so.

EB: I do. Ha, and you say Karkat’s the one who’s anxious to talk about feelings.

TG: No, he still is.

TG: I’m just anxious to be there for my best friend.

John couldn’t help a smile at that. With words like that, John couldn’t help but feel a little warmer inside.

EB: Thanks, Dave.

Their conversation tapered off from there, and John sighed and leaned back onto his bed. As soon as all of this “save the world” stuff was done, he would definitely tell Dave. And until then? John could relax.

JAFNF Chapter 141

(Wednesday, July 15)

The morning Jake got the text, he bolted upright in his seat. Code red could truly only mean one thing. Roxy was in danger, and her message proved it. She’d found a way to give him coordinates, which was appreciated, and now all Jake had to do was find them. He already knew Roxy was missing, and Dirk had been trying to track her signature with Davepeta, but hadn’t received much luck. He’d been worried for days about his best friend and partner, unsure of what she’d been subjected to. Jake desperately wanted to help her, and he prepared to get his guns and get in the car. He was ready to leave.

“Morning, Joke.” Or… he could stay a while. His eyes turned to the sound, and he saw a teenaged girl leaning casually against his door. Jake gawked at her. Her blue eyes looked calculating, and she appeared relaxed. He’d likely seen her around school before, but… wait, had she just called him Joke?

“Excuse me?” He questioned, and she smirked at him.

“I said good morning, wonder ass. I guess that’s just a universal constant. Anyway, can’t you take a greeting, Jape?” She questioned, and Jake’s eyes narrowed. He moved discretely, casually throughout his room. He could tell she was curious, when-

“You have two seconds to explain who or what you are, and what you’re doing in my home. I have no issue taking a chip off your old block, mate.” He said, and her eyes widened. He had a gun centimeters from her face, and she looked surprised for a minute there, before sighing in relief.

“Oh,thank gog. Dave actually fixed something, for once. Sorry about that, what- Coach English, or something? You actually managed to be threatening in this timeline. We’ll need that.” She commented off handly, and he raised an eyebrow.

“One. Tw-” Vriska hurried to speak after that.

“Woah, sorry! I’m Vriska Sersket. And I’m going to need you to put that gun down, if you want to save the world.” Jake heard her words, and sighed. He could already tell that things were about to get interesting.

________________-

Jacob sighed as he sat in the purple room. He wanted to know what was going on, and what was wrong. Since his introduction to captivity, he found his treatment to actually be remarkably pleasant. He’d become a social media idol over night, and yet, none of this strange place’s citizens could tell him anything about his son. After rebubbling a particularly charming hat, he went to his messages. Another person was asking for clothing help, and he was obliged to assist.

He’d searched for a way out of this prison, but couldn’t find one. When he tried going down that odd hallway that the butler usually went down, he was (politely, of course) escorted away. The man still lacked access to Jane, Roxy, and his son. He had no idea where he was, and purple seemed to be the only defining feature. At one point, he requested access to a window, and when he looked out of it, he saw a tower in the distance.

“What is that?” He questioned, and his ever-silent butler responded by writing on a white board. He read the letters, and blinked. “A prison? Why is it like a tower, and so far away?” The butler only shrugged at that, and Jacob understood. “Ah, okay. Thank you, then.” He looked towards the window again, and sighed. Even if he broke out, he’d have no idea where to go. Still, he couldn’t help but hope that he’d be free to see his family again soon.

________________--

John yawned, and stretched. It was morning, which meant that it was time to give Caliborn the daily feeding. Still, he preferred to be at least a little approachable first, and went to go brush his teeth and shower. As he made his way to his (or, Caliborn’s) lavish bathroom, John rubbed his eyes and looked at his face in the mirror. He looked well rested, but groggy, and his hair was as messy as usual. The boy looked at his two front teeth with distaste. He probably should have gotten braces, but his father hadn’t really been there in his late childhood and preteen years to schedule appointments with dentists.

After brushing his teeth, he stripped and stepped into the shower. The temperature was perfect from the second he’d turned it on, and John sighed as he felt the water run over his body. He hummed quietly in the shower, and after a relaxing fifteen minutes (excessive, but it wasn’t like he had many plans) he stepped out and into his towel. John was dry and clothed minutes later, and he casually walked into Caliborn’s kitchen after finishing getting ready.

Once he saw Lord English sitting at the table, a pleasant smile fell on his face.

“Good morning!” He’d called, and the man looked up from what he was doing, then gave John a quick smile.

“Good morning, John. How did you sleep?” They engaged in some conversation, and eventually, John offered to feed him. They’d reached the point of comfort with feeding ages ago, and Caliborn accepted the food, and thanked John for it. John stood to return to his room, but Caliborn stopped him. “John?” he asked, and John looked at him attentively.

“Yes?” He asked, and Caliborn looked down.

“How do you feel about me feeding off you?” He asked, and the younger of the two was clearly surprised by the question, but he answered.

“I don’t mind. It doesn’t hurt or anything.” He said, and Caliborn nodded.

“I see. Would you… prefer that I stop?” He asked, and John looked confused.

“No? I mean, it’s really not an issue, Caliborn.” John said, and the man didn’t correct him for addressing him by his old name. It hadn’t been a problem for the two when John did it, and Lord English didn’t seem to mind, if John used it. John also knew that he was the only person allowed to call him Caliborn, and he couldn’t say that it didn’t make John feel special. The man seemed to be considering something, and he looked at him suddenly.

“John.  May I talk to you about something, seriously?” He asked, and John blinked, but nodded, and sat.

“Yes?” He said, and Caliborn took a deep breath.

“As you know, all of this… everything I’ve done, is so that I can stop feeding off you.” He said, and John frowned, but nodded. “Lately, I’ve been entertaining some ideas. There have been changes, and second thoughts.” John listened. “Originally, I just assumed that I craved you because I was addicted to feeding on you, and if I gained a larger, better source, that I wouldn’t need or want you. That I wouldn’t care.” He said, and John looked at him.

“But?” He encouraged, and Caliborn took a breath.

“But, I’m having second thoughts about this. I’m not sure that I can truly break myself from you, if I feed off the entire world. And it’s not due to biological doubts, at all.” He said, and made eye contact. John stood over him, and looked down as he sat in his seat. “I’ve enjoyed these weeks, immensely. It’s nice that I return and see you. After managing the takeover of this world and others, I’ve realized that I would miss you, in the human sense of the term, if you weren’t here.” He said, and a hint of a smile hit his lips. “I’ve enjoyed making you happy, and having you here. So much that taking over the world seems more like a hastle than something I look forward to.” He said, and John’s eyes widened.

“What are you saying?” He asked, and Caliborn looked away from him.

“I suppose… I like power, yes, but I think I like you more.” He said, and John’s surprise was clear.

“So… you don’t want to take over the world?” John questioned, and Caliborn frowned.

“No. I still crave power. Ruling others, and being feared- all of this appeals to me, greatly. No, John. What I want is to rule with you at my side. I can give you immortality. Your friends and family will be safe. Happy, even. You can do, or be, anything you want. You’ll have access to worlds of information, countless lost civilizations, and an eternity to learn it. Once I’ve taken over, and rewarded all those who have worked with me, you’ll be free to do whatever you want.” He said, and looked up at him. “At least, that’s what I would like.” Caliborn paused, and put his hand out. “John, I like you. Join me?” He questioned, and John swallowed.

Caliborn’s face was earnest. John realized, for the time being, that he wasn’t tricking him. He seemed to truly care about the situation, and about John as well. He’d have opportunities, and happiness, and everyone he cared about could be safe. Dave would be safe. John envisioned the vampire’s face, and he smiled- then he realized that he could never agree. Caliborn offered his happiness, until the end of time. Caliborn offered happiness, and a wonderful life for everyone he cared about, but it was at the expense of the world. No, it was at the expense of multiple worlds. Countless civilizations that were never meant to interact would have, and if anyone had access to every civilization, every form of magic, and everything the world offered, it could be dangerous. John wouldn’t be willing to give up entire worlds for his friend’s safety. There was a reason that supernaturals stayed away from human beings. In the end, John knew he needed to stop Caliborn. And no matter how kind Caliborn was to him, he was still evil, and a tyrant. They needed to stop him.

But John wasn’t dumb. He couldn’t just say that he planned to stop him. No, that would undoubtedly lead to the destruction of the plan that future Dave and Vriska worked so hard to make happen. John refused to let Caliborn win, even if his winning meant ultimate happiness, even immortality, for him. So, John smiled, and looked at him.

“I can be free to do anything, and everyone I care about will be safe?” John asked, and Caliborn nodded.

“Yes, John. I want to give you the world, and more. Join me, and rule the world by my side.” He said, and John took his hand.

“I will.” He promised, his eyes bright. Caliborn seemed relieved, and ecstatic.

“You’ve made me the happiest cherub in the world, John.” He said, and John forced a laugh.

“You make me happy too! I mean, obviously.” He said, and Caliborn laughed.

“Quite, yes. Thank you.” He said, and John looked up at him in confusion.

“For what? I should be thanking you!” John said, and Caliborn shook his head.

“No, quite the opposite. You’ve made it so that I truly can have it all. In truth, I’ve never had a companion of any sort. I’m greatful to have someone I can rely on that cares, like you. I can’t wait to see what our future holds.” He said, and John grinned, though he felt immense guilt. Caliborn looked up suddenly, and sighed. “I’m… sorry John, I need to leave. I’ll see you, John.” He said, and John made himself seem unhappy to let go of him.

“Alright. Good luck taking over the world!” John said, and Caliborn smiled.

“Thank you, John. I’ll see you soon.” He said, and disappeared. John’s shoulders tensed, and he let out a long sigh. He couldn’t be feeling bad now. This was the right thing to do. They needed to stop Caliborn. And if lying to him is what it would take, John would do it.

_______________---

Roxy coughed. She’d been within the facility again, and her tormentor started up torture again. The woman felt her eyes burning, and Betty Crocker stepped away from her. She looked at Roxy’s struggling form with approval.

“You’ve been taking the treatment well, gate girl.” Roxy was able to pull her head up, and glare. And then, she made a decision- she would speak to her kidnapper. Usually, protocol ordered that they never said anything to anyone that kidnapped them, but Roxy was curious. Plus, now that she knew that guy with “space” powers, or whatever, could find her, she didn’t have much to do in the means of escaping.

“What are you doing to me?” She asked, and Betty Crocker’s dark eyes met her own. The woman smirked, and Roxy frowned.

“I’m turning you into a daemon.” Roxy shuddered. So, the guess was right.

“Why?” She asked, and  Betty turned away from her.

“Because, I want you to open gates for me. Don’t worry about not wanting to- I can force you to do it.” Roxy frowned.

“Gates to where? And how?” She asked, and Betty Crocker’s back turned to her.

“Getting intel? You know, it won’t matter once you’re under my control.” She said, and Roxy raised an eyebrow, though her body wanted her to do otherwise.

“Well, if it doesn’t matter, tell me. I want to know what’s going on.” She said, and the Woman looked at her in surprise, then snorted.

“I shore like you, gill. Shame that you’re not one of mine. You want answers?” She asked, and Roxy nodded. “Fine, I’ll give ‘em to you. I’m trying to turn you into a daemon, so you can get in touch with your natural element.”

“What’s that?” Roxy questioned, and Betty Crocker smirked.

“’Kinda hunter are you? I swore they knew more in the day. Your natural element’s just the force you’re most aligned with. Everyone has one- yours is void, according to big English.” She said, and Roxy looked at her, quizzically.

“What’s yours?” She asked, and Betty Crocker smirked.

“Life.” Roxy blinked. She hadn’t expected that. “Just like that friend of yours, the new heiress? Most species get in touch with their elements a little, but daemons do it best. That’s how they get weapons to fight and shit. And that’s how you’ll open my gate through the power of void. Once you become a daemon.” She said, and Roxy frowned.

“What’s void?” She asked, and Betty Smirked.

“Void? Oh, void- it’s rare, first of all. Secondly, it’s nothing- literally nothing. It transcends the laws of space and time, which makes it easy to access something like a dream bubble, which does the same thing. It’s a void.” She explained, and Roxy frowned. She felt medicine seeping in her joints.

“So, do I make nothing? Become nothing? Do… nothing?” Betty laughed at that.

“Oh no girlie. You’ll be doing something. For the first two though, yeah, pretty much. Your aspect’s not like the others. There’s a million air and time and light oriented people running around out there, but not void. There’s not many void people on this planet, girl, and you happen to be one of ‘em. Feel special.” The woman said, and Roxy frowned.

“So, I have to be a daemon to access this void thing?” She asked, and Betty Crocker suddenly turned.

“Why you asking?” She questioned, and Roxy shrugged as well as she could.

“Thought it would be good to know my fate. I already know that if I escape, that guy from yesterday’s going to find me again. Actually, did he teleport me here in the first place?” She asked, and Betty Crocker gimnaced, as if the memory was unpleasant, but nodded.

“Shore did. But don’t worry- the rest ‘ll be all me. Speaking of that, I may as well continue. Your break time’s over.” Her eyes glowed, and she grinned, making Roxy resist a whimper. Both women, reguardless of status as a siren or hunter, knew that Roxy was in for a lot of pain.

___-_

Hours later, John hastily clicked through a few answer choices.  He’d tried to forget his guilt at lying to Caliborn. It was justified, and until John could convince himself of that, he distracted himself with online classes. Doing online physical education wasn’t fun, but it was something that passed the time, and it was easier than doing it during school. After all, he wanted to take other classes during his senior year, and taking this one now seemed like the better option. Plus, it wasn’t like he was doing much. Vriska had already warned him that their plan would involve a lot of waiting around. Since he’d last spoken to her, she reassured him that things were under control, and that their plan was still in motion. Still, she hadn’t offered any more information regarding the status of the plan, and John wished she would. She said she’d been getting things ready, but that he couldn’t act on them until later. Still, a little information, especially a day for a plan of action, or something, would be nice.

“Sup?” John looked up from the computer screen in surprise, and then heat flooded his cheeks as he realized who stood before him.

“D-Dave! I mean, hi. No, I mean, not much!” John stumbled over his words, and Dave laughed good-naturedly.

“Calm down John, it’s future Dave. No need to get so nervous, you don’t need to declare your feelings just yet.” John flushed, and his eyes grew wider as Dave spoke.

“I- You know about that?” John asked in disbelief, and Dave smirked.

“Of course I do. It’s about time, really. How you can maintain that close of a “just friends” relationship with anyone for that long is a mystery to me. Can’t believe it took you so long to fall for him. Or, at least, realize it.” He said, and John looked up at him sheepishly.

“So, does he… you know, like me back?”John asked, and Dave smirked.

“I’ll let you figure that out, kid. Now, down to business. You heard you’re getting some action this week, right? Well, the time approaches. You’re going to help us stop Caliborn, or Lord English, and save the world, right?” He asked, and John nodded.

“Yeah, he wants to take over the world. We should stop it, along with those transformation torture places.”

“Correct. We’re going to have to take down Caliborn with our super weapon juju too, even thought we can’t actually kill him.” John’s shoulders relaxed a little in relief. Dave noticed and frowned, but didn’t comment. “So, you’re going to be teleporting out this-”

“John?” Came a voice from behind them, and both turned. It was Lord English, and his eyes were wide. John saw him, and his eyes widened too. “Are you planning to stop me?” He asked, and John knew he heard him. Dave teleported out intantly, and Caliborn clutched his hands. “I wanted to rule worlds with you.” He said, not even caring that Dave left. John took a step back.

“I- Caliborn, I just-”

“You do not refer to me by that name!” He shouted ,and John was silenced. Caliborn advanced towards him.  “I trusted you.” He said, and John swallowed. “I cared for you.” He added, his voice growing angry, and John looked at him, boldly.

“You’re not doing the right thing. These people didn’t ask to be taken over.” John said, and looked to the side, but then back at him. “It’s not right for you to rule over them.” John announced, and Caliborn’s shoulders fell. He suddenly just seemed hurt. The man seemed to debate with himself, and his face quickly grew hard.

“I’ve given you too much freedom.” He said, and John’s eyes widened. “I assumed that you not escaping earlier meant that you were loyal, but… no.” He decided, and John stepped back fearfully. “I’m containing you. I won’t allow you to leave.” He said, and he snapped. Instantly, John was in a dark room, and black chains sat around his feet, with glowing symbols on them. Lord English appeared afterwards, and John recognized this as the torture room. There was just enough lighting for John to see the man in front of him. “Try teleporting away.” He offerered, and John, dismayed, tried. He couldn’t do it, and Caliborn nodded in satisfaction. “Good.” John looked up at him. He had a nine tailed whip in his hands, and the teenager forced a whimper away.

“You don’t have to feed off my misery anymore!” John said, and Caliborn shook his head.

“This isn’t about feeding, John. You’ve made a plan to hurt me, and take me down, yes?” He asked, and his visage glowed. He turned into his usual self, a green fleshed skeletal monster with glowing eyes. “I want the details, and I want to kill everyone involved.” John’s eyes widened.

“But… our deal! You said you wouldn’t hurt them if-”

“If You didn’t try to escape. If you didn’t tell anyone. Clearly, you’ve done both. I have no reason not to.” He said, and John fell silent. “Tell me every aspect of your plan, now. Clearly it involves you, yes?” He asked, and John looked up fearfully.

“I can’t tell you.” Caliborn looked at him.

“Why not?” he asked, and John felt tears gather at the corners of his eyes.

“You’ll destroy worlds!” John said, and Caliborn considered it.

“What if I only ruled over them, from afar? What would you say if I didn’t destroy any worlds? Or if I didn’t harm their ways of life, or anything? Would you tell me?” He asked, and John looked up at him carefully.

“Would you hurt the people I care about?” He asked, and Caliborn looked at him.

“No. Or rather, only one- that Strider boy, who dared to threaten me, and who dared to come in my home. Only him.” John’s eyes widened.

“Then… no!” John answered, and Caliborn leaned back from his face.

“Even if I torture you?” John swallowed, tears running down the sides of his face. Still, he was determined. If Vriska and future Dave could do their plan, they had a chance to stop him. So, he decided.

“I don’t care. I can’t tell you and put him- or anyone in danger!” John said, and Caliborn looked surprised, but his face turned cruel.

“We’ll see what you say in… hm, a thousand lashes.” He easily chained John’s hands, and suspended him in midair. Caliborn raised the whip in front of his face, and John shook. “Remember,” He whispered sadistically, “You can stop this whenever you want. Until then? I suppose that I’ll enjoy the taste of misery again. I’m sure you’ll produce more than enough to satisfy me.” He raised the cat o’ nine tails, grimanced, and brought it down on John’s back.

_____________________--

AN: INTENSEEEE. Also, I know I used that phrase so completely wrong, wow. I’m so sorry. Wow, a chip off your old block. That was terrible.

JAFNF Chapter 142

(Thursday, July 16)

“You’re sure that’s all?” Betty Crocker asked, and a shorter daemon with a clipboard nodded.

“Yes, Mrs. She’s converted enough to use her powers.” Roxy’s body was drastically different than it had been days ago. Her lips were permanently black, and her pink eyes glowed. Her skin took on grey undertones, and she couldn’t feel it, but small horns protruded from her head. Her eyes had dark circles under them, but those were (probably) more of an effect of her confinement, not a biological effect. She’d eaten little more than Betty Crocker brand pie crust over the past few days, and her body was limp with exhaustion.

“Perfect. I hope you’re ready, Gate girl. You’re about to make me very happy.” Betty Crocker’s voice came, and Roxy wanted to do something, but she just hung there, tiredly. Even if she tried to escape, she couldn’t get far without that space power guy catching her. So when they unlocked her cage and restraints, Roxy was confused, but too tired to run. Betty Crocker grinned down at her, and her eyes turned red and blue again. Instantly, she opened her mouth and began to sing. Roxy heard the tune, and felt her body move on its own. She felt nothing in all of her limbs, and her eyes were only barely open. She couldn’t lift them open farther, but she felt herself straighten out in posture, then reach her hands towards the sky.

If you’ve never felt power forced through your body, it would be difficult to relate to the feeling Roxy endured. It didn’t quite hurt, but it wasn’t comfortable, and she could feel energy surging through her. Almost instantaneously, Roxy saw an object materialize in front of her, then pop into existence. It was a gun, with a shiny red finish and a white logo- very Crocker-like, really. Betty picked it up and pointed it towards the ground. When she shot it, a black hole of sorts opened in the floor in front of her, and Roxy heard the excited change in Betty Crocker’s tone. She sung something else, and it made Roxy stand there while Betty Crocker walked away. She had a daemon walking in front of her by the time she came back, and with some hesitation from the man, he walked forward into the hole. Seconds later, he was back, and nodded expressively. Betty grinned at his words, and she seemed to command someone to do something, before stopping. Roxy’s body seemed to fail, and the gun, along with the portal shot from it, faded out of existence. For some reason, Betty Crocker grimaced, but turned away from Roxy. Roxy could just barely see what was going on, over that monster’s long hair.

The other green, fleshy monster man was back, and speaking to her. She saw Betty stiffen, and report, then nod. They were talking about something- hunters, maybe, and she saw Betty Crocker move. Her eyes remained half lidded, but Roxy began to gain some feeling in her limbs, and managed to let herself out of her tensed position.  Betty Crocker turned back to her, and she rushed to be in the same position again. The green fleshed man was gone. The woman cursed under her breath, and seemed to prepare Roxy to do more, before someone stopped her. She heard the words “tired” and “Overworked”, then “combusted”. Betty Crocker seemed to regret it, but she lost control of Roxy’s body, and the woman slumped to the ground. Instantly, she pretended to sleep, while fighting off the urge to actually fall asleep. An opening was coming- she could feel it, and Betty Crocker’s high heels left the room, along with the other daemons in the room. Once she sensed that she was alone, her eyes opened, and she realized that she was unrestrained.  She was alone in the room as well, and the movement by the outside of the door was a guard.

Roxy needed a plan. She couldn’t escape the same way she did before, but there had to be something she could do. She remembered that power flowing through her only moments before, and with a shock, she realized that she was a daemon now. What would that have meant for full moons? She avoided thinking about it, and decided to focus instead. For now, being a daemon meant that she had power. She could worry about the rest later.

Roxy needed a plan. She knew she had at least a little time before Betty Crocker would come in again, but not much. The hunter strained to remember what her tormentor said she could do. Roxy was able to become nothing, and make nothing, right? She could probably do it, and with luck, it would protect her from that space guy’s powers. The only problem? She had no idea how to make herself do this. Roxy concentrated, and tried to feel what she felt before. Twenty minutes later, she still felt no changes in her body. Roxy thought harder. “Feel the void.” She thought to herself, attempting to concentrate. “Be the void.” She closed her eyes, and began to mentally, then physically chant. “Be the void. Be the void. Be the -” And that was the last thing she thought before her body disappeared in front of her. She opened her eyes when she couldn’t feel her hands on her head anymore and gasped.

A weird feeling tingled through her body. She was invisible, and very not there. She couldn’t feel herself, and yet, she could sense her body. Roxy tried moving, and found that she could. She did it without making noise too. As the woman stood to her feet, she risked stepping hard on the ground. When she did, she felt her foot just fall through it. Roxy panicked at that and tried to pull it back. She felt her heart rate speed up, and yet, it wasn’t there. She grinned- it was like being Danny Phantom. Well, Danny Phantom could fly, and she couldn’t. She stopped there, and thought about it. Could she? Roxy tried it, and realized that she couldn’t. Still, being nothing was cool. The hunter-turned daemon made her way towards the door, then put her hand on a knob. Carefully, she tried turning it, and found that her not-really-a-hand phased through it. Roxy pushed herself through the metal instead, and suddenly, she was out of the room.

Finally, she was free! Or, not yet, but close. She didn’t know if they could catch her, but didn’t intend to stick around and find out. The woman phased through walls and doors instantly, and almost felt safe until she reached the ladder. Roxy realized that she couldn’t grab it. She phased through, and she groaned in frustration. It was always the stupid things that seemed to get her. There was probably a way she could get past this, but she didn’t know it! She headed back into the daemon scientist room, in an attempt to gain some more information. Maybe she’d hear something, or see something that would help. She noticed that all of the scientists were gone, save for one daemon with spiked hair that sat on a bed, reading a book. He looked younger than Roxy- probably a high schooler, or a young college kid. He was clearly a daemon, with his gigantic bull horns, and had hair that reminded her of the guy from Hook, or Johnny test in different colors. Either way, he was different from the older scientists that buzzed around her all day. They were alone in the room, and Roxy moved over to him, then looked at the book in his hand. She leaned over him to see it.

The page had weird symbols, and she found that if she stared at a word for long enough, she could find a little meaning in them. As she inched closer to it, her hand landed on top of him. Roxy wasn’t worried- she’d phased through other scientists before, so when he looked up suddenly, she was surprised.

“Wait, is someone in here?” He asked, quietly, and Roxy’s eyes widened. “I know someone else is in here. I feel you- are you on my back?” He asked, and Roxy launched herself off with a gasp. He turned, hearing the sound. “Wait, don’t go mate!” He said, his accent Australian. Roxy paused.

“Can you hear me?” She questioned, and he nodded.

“Uh, yeah. Whoa, what are you? Why can’t I see you? Is this more of that daemon stuff I’m learnin’?” he asked, and Roxy looked surprised. The others couldn’t.

“How can you hear me?” She asked, and he shrugged.

“Guess it’s part of my element powers, or something. I control animals too, now that these cunts ‘ave kidnapped and converted me.” He said it a little bitterly, and Roxy made a decision.

“Lower your voice.” She said, and he did. “Who are you?” She asked, and he answered.

“I’m subject number two. Rufioh Nitram.  I’m not doing anything wrong, I promise!” He said, and Roxy blinked. Number two? So, Latula was number three- of course. He was one of the ones they converted.

“Are you trapped here?” She asked, and he nodded.

“Yeah. I used to try escaping, back when they first got me, but I stopped. Not like I’d be able to go back to society anyway. The daemons in charge said they already declared me dead.” He said, sadly. “Anyway,  is that what you’re doin, mate?”

“Yeah, I’m trying to get out.” She said, and sighed. “I already got out once, but this green flesh guy cught me, and brought me back. That was before I was a daemon, and had to hack out of everything. Now, they turned me into one, and I’m getting out a different way. I got past the guard and everything, but I can’t touch the ladder. I’m trying not to be a part of their crazy world domination plans, or whatever.” She explained, and his eyes widened in recognition.

“Bangarang! You’re the one they’ve been looking for! The gate opener?” He questioned, and she nodded, then realized he couldn’t see her.

“Yeah. That’s me. Roxy Lalonde.” She said, and looked at him. “Hey, you want to escape too?” he looked serious.

“I did, but I stopped trying. Do they not have a tag on you? You know, the one that forces you to stay inside?” He asked, holding out his arm in her general direction. She blinked, and saw a glowing wristband around his arm.

“I hacked out of mine, and they never put a new one on. According to Betty Crocker, I became nothing- they probably couldn’t put one on me now anyway. But, do you know how I can get out of here? I promise, I’ll stop all of this if I can just get back.” She said, and he quickly turned pages in his book, and then pointed.

“Here. I don’t know if you can read this or not, but you’re void. You probably know that though. Anyway, the book I’m studying lists your daemon powers, and abilities. You can summon things out of nothing, along with making windows into other realities. Maybe you could use that to help?” He asked, and she frowned.

“How?” Rufioh looked towards the sound of her voice.

“I don’t know. Give it a try.” He offered, and Roxy did, without many results. “Let me know if I can help! Try starting simple!” He encouraged, and she sighed.

“You can’t touch me. But thanks anyway. Maybe I’ll try summoning an object, or something. You want me to try and help you escape?” He thought about it, but sighed.

“I can’t with this thing on my arm. Even if you could hack out of this thing for me, you’d have to be tangible for that, and you probably don’t have much time. The scientists will be back any minute now, and they’re bound to notice that you’re gone eventually. I’d just slow you down.” Roxy frowned. She didn’t like it, but he was right.

“I’m a hunter. I’ll come back for you and stop this, okay?” She said, and he smiled faintly.

“Thanks. I appreciate it, but no one who’s escaped has ever come back to help. I’m sure you already want to forget all of this, especially since they must have transformed you real quickly. That can’t be pleasant.” Roxy frowned at the words. She fully intended to help, but… well, he was probably speaking from experience. Still, she wanted to do something for him.

“I’m coming back. But until then, is there anything I can do, if I manage to get out?” She asked, and he looked down.

“Actually, yeah. You said you’re a hacker- can you find people?” He asked, and Roxy thought back to Sollux. It was more his field, but she could do it.

“I can. Need me to send a message, or get revenge?” Rufioh smiled.

“Just a message. I’d like some revenge, but- nah. Life’s too short to be bitter over stuff like that, especially in here.  And, it’s no message to any of m’rellies. They think I’m dead. Anyway, there’s a girl- Damara Medigo, no middle name. She lives in maple Valley, Washington, and has a twin sister named Aradia. Her pesterchum’s Anhnialation attendant, if people still use that, and her family’s Japanese. If it’s not too much trouble, mate, could you find her for me, and just tell her… well, tell her I’m sorry? Tell her I didn’t just go off line, and tell her I’m sorry, for everything. For Horuss, specifically, but everything. Could you?” He asked, and Roxy made mental notes. Damara Medigo, in her town. She could find her.

“Yeah, of course. I will.” She promised. “If you don’t tell her yourself. Now, I gotta go figure out how to get up that ladder.” She said, and he gave her a grin in her general direction.

“Good luck! And thanks. I’ve been here for years- she deserves to know the truth.” He said, and Roxy waved (arbitrarily) and returned to the ladder. She concentrated, attempting to pull something out of nothing. Rufioh advised her to start simple, and she did- she envisioned a green box. An object that was perfectly generic in every sense appeared in front of her, and Roxy tried to touch it. With delight, she realized she could, and decided to build a stairway. She concentrated hard, and made enough boxes so that she could climb to the top. When she did, she stuck her head through the door and grinned. A siren sounded in her wake, but Roxy didn’t care. Finally, she was free.   

___________________--

“What do you mean, ‘she’s on her way? I bloody want to go after her!” Came Jake’s voice. They’d been at this for a few minutes now, and Dirk put a hand on his boyfriend’s shoulder to calm him.

“Jake.” He said warningly, and the aforementioned man stayed resilient. Dirk lifted his eyebrows. “Just let her talk for a while, okay?” He asked, and Jake sighed. He knew Dirk was right, but he didn’t like it. Jake definitely didn’t want to wait for “Roxy to come to him”, or whatever this Vriska character spouted at him. He just wanted to find Roxy, and make sure she was safe. Still, he knew it was better to listen to all the nessesary information first. So, with an upset sort of sigh, he did.

“Fine.” Vriska, a teenager that gained the reputation of being annoyingly sarcastic in the little time Jake had known her raised an eyebrow.

“Aww, Jake, are you mad? Do you want me to wait in the corner while you have a hissy?” She asked, in a mockingly singsong voice. Jake repressed a groan, but Dirk spoke.

“Hey, we have no reason to believe what you’re saying right now. It would make things easier if you were respectful, and we’d waste less time on stuff like this.” Vriska looked at Dirk after he said the words, and she huffed.

“Fine. All I’m saying is that Roxy will get here when she gets here. She’s already been fully converted.” Jake’s hand gripped Dirk’s, and he looked at Vriska accusingly.

“Why would you stop me from saving her from that?” He asked, and Vriska rolled her eyes.

“Because she’s more useful as a daemon, and you didn’t have a huge chance of beating the people they were going to send against you. English would have been there—bad news, by the way, and you would have died the second you left the house. I’m doing you a favor here.” She said, and Jake frowned.

“But she’s a daemon! That means-”

“You guys can figure it out after we stop the dreambubble takeover. As I was saying, when Roxy finally shows up, she can help us.” Dirk frowned, but spoke.

“So, why are you here, telling us all of this?” He asked, and Vriska spoke up.

“Glad you asked- way to be mission minded, Strider. Your task, until Roxy gets here and we can break Jane and Dad out is to get ready. Sharpen your sword or buy bullets or something. If you know of any better weapons, or upgrades you were saving for Christmas or something, upgrade now. In fact, let everyone that you think can help fight know to start getting ready now.  I’ll give you guys the plan soon.” Vriska said, and Dirk looked at her.

“Fight what? And when is Roxy getting here?” He asked, and Vriska shrugged.

“You’re fighting a time-space lord. Well, maybe not you specifically- depends on who voulonteers for what.”

“And Roxy?” Jake asked, anxiously, and Vriska shrugged.

“I said she’s coming soon, but I don’t know when. If you need exact times, ask Dave or someone, I don’t know.” Vriska offered, and Dirk’s eyebrows shot up.

“Dave?” Vriska rolled her eyes.

“Sorry, My Dave, not yours. You’ll meet him soon enough.” She said, and Jake looked completely confused.

“Is there more than one Dave?” He asked, and Vriska shrugged.

“Technically, there’s infinite Daves. And more. Don’t worry about it- it’s timeline stuff. Anyway, you guys know who you’re asking to help fight?” Vriska asked, and Dirk shrugged.

“No? I mean, you haven’t really told us what we’re fighting here.” Vriska sighed.

“Yeah, that’s true. Just call everyone you know that’s handy with any weapon, because you guys are taking on a universe destroying, timeline eating, crazy ass supervillian- and Betty Crocker. And a few others. It’s complicated, I know, but you’re stopping the end of the world. I’ve already got targets and stuff laid out, but sharpen your sword or something, okay?” Vriska asked, and Dirk, surprisingly nonplussed by the situation, nodded.

“Sure. And, how are you contacting us?” Vriska smirked.

“Oh, don’t worry. You’ll get the message. Any questions?” Vriska asked, and she saw Jake open his mouth. “That I’m going to answer?” She amended, and Jake fell silent. She smirked. “Good. Dave?” She asked, and the blonde appeared next to her with a red flash of light. He ignored Jake and Dirk’s surprised faces, and looked at Vriska.

“Mhm?” He asked, and she looked at him.

“Did you give him the sword?”

“I thought we were doing that later.” He said, and Vriska shrugged.

“I guess it doesn’t matter. The weapon’s still safe, right?” She asked, and he nodded.

“Yeah. Or, as safe as we can make it from someone who can come get it whenever.” Vriska noticed Dave’s focus change, even through his lensed sunglasses. Her shoulders fell when she realized who he was looking at, and her tone turned supportive.

“Hey. We can step out if you want to… you know, before things get crazy-”

“Uh, is anyone else coming in? Should I prepare some bloody tea? Was I hosting a party I wasn’t aware of?” Jake’s voice called sarcastically in his frustration, and Vriska looked at him sharply.

“Rude. You just interrupted a private conversation here, Jake.” She said, and Jake took a sharp intake of breath.

“Well I-”

“Nah.” Dave interrupted, and Vriska turned back to him, and moved her hand to his shoulder.”You know our rule on bullshit, right? None of it, and that’s pretty much what this is.” He asked with a quick smile, and Vriska raised an eyebrow.

“I’m pretty sure the rule was to get it over with. Preferably before shit gets serious?” She asked, and Dave rolled his eyes. Vriska didn’t see it, but his intentions were clear.

“Nah, I’m fine Vris. It wouldn’t even matter, he’s not him. I made sure of that.” Dave noted, and Vriska sighed, then turned to see both Dirk and Jake’s concerned faces. Dave coughed in discomfort. “So you done here?” He asked, and Vriska nodded.

“Yeah, let’s go. Call people, tell them to get ready.” She said addressing Dirk and Jake, who nodded. Both were still a little confused, but they seemed willing to follow her instructions. She smirked, and rested on Dave’s shoulder. “And that includes Rose and Equius- they’re both hard hitters. Anyway, later!” She added, and in an instant, she was gone.

______________________________-

AN: I LOVE SEVEN PAGE CHAPTERS AAAA

JAFNF Chapter 143

(Friday, July 17)

A ragged heap of human flesh and whip marks hung limply against chains, still suspended in midair. His head was bowed, and his eyes closed or opened based on the position of his head, since he stopped using his muscles long ago. John’s shirt was torn to shreds, and so many dots of blood remained around his body that his skin would have appeared to have random, perforated lines all over it. His jaw was slack, and his eyes were in a permanent flutter. His glasses had fallen off a while ago, and nothing could help John confirm where the hits came from. They were behind him, in front of him, and when Lord English felt extra cruel, curling around his side. He’d been down in that dungeon, of sorts, for an unmeasurable amount of time. John faded in and out of consciousness, but even as he surrendered his mind to the subconscious, he still felt every blow inflicted upon him. The wire met flesh again, and John felt the whip sink into his raw back flesh. It had been a repeated process for days on end.  A pause in the whipping came, and John would have shuddered if he could. He knew what would happen next.

“Ready yet, John?” Came Caliborn’s sickly sweet voice. It wasn’t one that someone who had just spent days whipping someone should use. John refused to answer. “Tell me what your plans are, John. How are you going to stop me?” He questioned, and of course, John stayed silent. Caliborn leaned close to his ear. “You know, you would have cracked age ago for anyone else.” John tensed a little. That wasn’t tru- “Oh, believe me, it’s true. I’ve seen this scene in a variety of timelines, when I used someone else against you.” He said, and loomed over John. “You’ve never held out this long. And over what?” John looked towards the ground. “The person who got you into all of this. That stupid, selfish vampire.” John looked up suddenly.

“He’s not stupid or selfish.” He murmured, and Caliborn raised an eyebrow.

“Really? Didn’t he teleport away, and leave you to this?” John fell silent. “Why do you protect him?” He asked, growing menacing, before pausing and looking down at John. “Unless… this is part of your…. Plan.” He said, and John’s eyes widened.

“No!” He said suddenly, and Caliborn looked down at him suspiciously.

“Really. Then, why? He left you. He got you into this mess. You could have died because of him multiple times, before me.” He said, and John looked down again. John’s body ached, but his face was wrought with sincerity.

“I don’t care.” He responded, then changed his gaze to meet Caliborn’s eyes. To John’s surprise, he didn’t even look suspicious. Caliborn’s face showed nothing but hurt.

“Then… why?”  The gigantic man asked, and John swallowed. That was a difficult question to answer. But despite the blood, John’s cheeks flushed. His head felt a little lighter, and his heartate sped up. The signs were all there, and John had been stupid enough to deny them, and not see them.  His expression turned a little shy, but he couldn’t help the hint of a smile that broke his lips. It wasn’t difficult at all.

“Why?” John echoed, and he looked down. “That’s easy. Dave’s my best friend in the world. He’s always there for me. He saved me from a bunch of things, and he cares about me. He-” John’s voice broke off, and he smiled fully. “He feels like home.” He paused, and looked at Caliborn. “You may be doing this now, but I know he’ll come through for me, like he always has, and like he always will.” Caliborn’s glance turned hard.

“You’re trapped in unbreakable chains, with a time lord torturing you for information. I’m the most powerful creature in any given universe. How can you be sure that he’ll save you? How could you have faith in him, even after his double left you? How do you know?” He questioned, and John didn’t break his gaze. He found that his words came out strong, and assured.

“I know because I love him.” He admitted, and Caliborn’s eyes grew wide. “Actually,” John added, a laugh in his tone. “I’m probably in love with him too. And he probably likes me back- I hope.” He said, grinning. “And you know what, Caliborn?” He asked, and Caliborn looked at his prisoner. He was animated with confidence, like he hadn’t been bleeding. Like seconds ago he hadn’t had a whip in his back. Like he hadn’t been contemplating just stopping breathing, to make this go by faster. His tone was buoyant now, and light. He didn’t seem overly cruel, or like he was celebrating. If anything, it was like he knew that Caliborn had done something wrong to him, like a sibling, and would get punished for it. He didn’t even seem mad, nor overly gloaty, just happy. “Dude, if I were you, I would be scared. Dave’s going to kick your ass for this.” John added, and Caliborn couldn’t compose himself. He didn’t think of his composture, or his effect. No, right now, John was so confident, so happy, that Caliborn knew that nothing he did could take it away. And, in that moment, with John smiling despite his injuries, Caliborn’s heart sped up too, but for a different reason. John was right. He should have been scared. And both captive and Captor knew. Caliborn was terrified.

_________-------------------

Roxy was free, but she still had no idea how to get back. There were no convenient vehicles lying around for her to take, and if she went physical again, she knew those people could find her. Roxy knew that she needed to get back to Jake, but she also didn’t know how, and time was of the essence. She pondered what to do, and absentmindedly made cubes as she did so. Making perfectly generic objects was fun, she decided, but maybe she could experiment more at a later time. Now, she needed to return home. But how would she do it? She had no instructors, no helpful hints. So, she started walking in one direction, and thought about it.

Maybe she could summon an object to get her home? But she didn’t know what object to summon. Roxy thought about it more, concentrating on the words of that imperious, condescending woman that kidnapped her.  She knew she called her a gate girl, but Roxy didn’t want to go to whatever location Betty Crocker wanted her to open gates to. No, she just wanted to go home. Home was where she could see Jake, and figure out how to save Rufioh, and get some food other than pie crust, and  more than anything, just sleep on a bed. Roxy realized that she’d have to make one of those portals again, but she had no idea how. Or, a portal gun? A portal gun would be nice. Could she make a portal gun?

The woman concentrated, and imagined it. She’d already made one before, but she wanted one more streamlined. She wanted one that would let her decide where she popped out on the other side, and wasn’t just some hole. Like, a window, maybe. Roxy thought about it more, and as she concentrated, it materialized in her hands. The blonde grinned, and decided to shoot it towards the ground. It produced a window, and, as envisioned, she could enter as many coordinates as possible. She told it to spit her out on the driveway, and, with some hesitation, jumped inside.

As she did, she felt a strange one-ness with her surroundings. She knew there was no space around her, and she felt time stop. It was as if she was out of the universe all together. All the familiar things that had existed on the other side of that portal, like pain, physicality, or even general gravity, were gone. There was no light or sound, and all Roxy could really feel was force rushing against her face. Still, Roxy moved herself forward quickly, and she knew that she wouldn’t get lost in this gigantic void. The lack of light confused her for a minute, until she realized- she set a destination, but didn’t open another window to match this one. After hitting herself on the head for her dumb moment, she took out the gun from behind her back and shot directly in front of her. Instantly, another window opened, and she had an end destination. She wouldn’t have minded falling for a little longer, especially since time seemed to cease passing here, but she was more than willing to finally go home.

In an instant, she fell out into the driveway, and twisted in midair to land on the cement. Roxy grinned, satisfied, and took a few steps away from the window she’d made in the ground. She was home. It was only then when she realized how tired she was, and the window portal, along with the gun, faded out of existence. She noticed this, and knew she had seconds before her body collapsed.  She made it to the door, halfway moaned Jake’s name, and fell to the ground, falling unconscious seconds before contact. Roxy didn’t know it, but Jake caught her (kind of) before she hit the ground, and dragged her inside. He was still worried for her safety, but grateful tears entered the corners of his eyes. She was home.

___________________-

“Night, Vriska.” Came Dave’s voice, and she turned to him. They were in her room, and her parents weren’t home. Aranea, Vriska’s (honestly not that bad) younger sibling was asleep, and future Dave stood over Vriska’s bed. The teenager who worked harder than anyone else to stop the end of the world rolled her eyes, and sat against her headboard.

“Dave, you can get some sleep too. It’s not like you won’t need it- you’ll probably have to bail them out pretty often, if this timeline’s Dave still takes five minutes before he’s able to time travel.” Vriska commented, and Dave looked down at her. He was still taller than Vriska’s head, even though her bed was pretty high.

“Hey, he’s learning. And I’ve still got shit to do.” He said, and Vriska raised an eyebrow.

“Like what? I thought we took care of everything.” Her tone came out flat, but a little anxious too.

“We still have to give Dave the sword.” Vriska rolled her eyes.

“We can do that later. Probably better that we do it right before he fights anyway- he’s pretty liable to try swinging it at a wall, or something.” Future Dave roled his eyes, and leaned against her bed.

“Come on, give me some credit here. He may drop it like it’s hot, maybe, but not swing it at a wall. He’s not that bad.”

“He needed his older brother to build a sentient machine version of himself to hit on John for a month before he realized he liked him.” Vriska said, and Dave tensed. She noticed, and sighed. “Why didn’t you talk to him?” Dave looked away from her.

“It’s not even him. Dirk- Bro- he’s not my Bro, okay? He’s from a different timeline, he had a different life, and he’s a different person. It’s not his fault that my bro sucked ass, and he definitely won’t know how to help.” Vriska sighed.

“You don’t know that.” She responded. “Look, I don’t want to get involved in your drama- I’m not Karkat. But I think you should talk to him, if it’s really making you this upset to see him. This timeline is all about second chances, you know?” She asked, and Dave sighed.

“Yeah, but-”

“But nothing. Talk to him, before the fighting starts.” She instructed, and Dave tried for a little smile.

“You’ve always been bossy.” He said, and Vriska smirked.

“Someone has to keep these assholes in line- and not Karkat.” She added, and Dave snorted.

“Yeah, but the munchkin leader complex thing was pretty cute.”

“When he was four!” She responded, and Dave smirked.

“Hey, that’s an opinion. I thought he was pretty-”

“I’ll stop you there.” Vriska interrupted. “I’d really rather not hear about your obvious past romance shit with Karkat. Or any past romance shit, really. It was all gay, and it’s all gone.” Vriska commented, and Dave looked at her seriously.

“You know, we could go back.” He said, and she looked at him.

“To what? A doomed world where everyone we know is dead? Lord English rules it. Our homes have probably been destroyed, and if he found us, he’d kill us both. Why would we go back?” Vriska asked, and sighed. “What would we gain from that?” “Dave sighed.

“Just to visit. I set up a safe place or two- it’s nice to remember what you came from, you know?” Vriska looked down.

“I didn’t forget, but it doesn’t do any good to remember.” Her hands clenched as she said it. “They all died, and it meant nothing. It sucks, but what can we do? Going back- even just to visit-won’t solve it. And if you try to time travel back to fix it, it’ll just undo what we’ve done here. It’s not worth it- just a dangerous waste of time.” She said, and he leaned against the wall, looking away from her.

“So, you don’t miss any of the things there?” Vriska looked up. “Look, I know that the people are what make it home. I know Terezi’s not alive there, or John, or anyone else that made that place- you know, good for you. But there has to be something there that you wish you could have gone back for. We can be careful, and I don’t mind taking you.” The words came out serious, and Vriska looked at him.

“Was there something like that for you?” She questioned, and Dave nodded.

“Yeah. I found my old pictures. It was… nice to see them again.” He said, and Vriska sighed.

“It’s not like I was ever that sentimental. I re-made all the stuff I needed to from home. There’s nothing for me there, Dave.” They fell silent for a while, and both were lost in their thoughts. After three minutes (exactly) of silence, Dave opened his mouth, but Vriska spoke first. “Were the pictures of our friends?” She questioned, and Dave looked to the side.

“Most of them. Want to see?” He asked, and Vriska took a breath. She didn’t say anything, and Dave spoke up. “You know, it’s not bad to remember them from time to time. Not everything has to be productive.” He added, and she sighed.

“Yeah, I want to. Show me.” His album appeared on her lap in a flash of red, and she opened it. The first one was of a tree- John’s tree, attached to a specific memory that made her mouth twitch upwards. As she flipped through, she noticed Dave watching her face (anyone else would have assumed he was looking at the pictures, but she knew better) and rolled her eyes. “Why are you just standing there? If you want to look at the pictures, you can get in.” She said, and he raised an eyebrow.

“You thought I was looking at the pictures?” Vriska rolled her eyes again. She was trying to give him a discreet way out of stairing at her for so long, but apparently, Dave didn’t care about being discreet. Well, of course he didn’t- it was Dave.

“I’m clearly attempting to invite you to sit next to me.” She said it dryly enough for Dave to know it was a joke, but of course, he acted like he took the request seriously.

“Woah Vriska, you’re moving fast. What happened to wine and dine first?” He asked jokingly, and she looked at him.

“Gender roles says that’s your job.” She responded, and smirked. “Photo Albums and chill, Dave?” She questioned, and he snorted.

“I have more class than that, Vriska.” Both knew, at this point, that this could go on for ages. Vriska decided to cut the conversation before it could get to that point.

“Apparently, you don’t have enough class not to sit there and watch my face like you’re Rose or something.” Dave raised his eyebrows in mock surprise, and put a hand over his mouth.

“You knew the whole time? Really?” Vriska rolled her eyes.

“I know, I’m amazing. So, were you psycho-analyzing me, or what?” Dave smirked.

“Oh, I was just staring at you- since you’re so beautiful.” He said, leaning into her, and Vriska blinked for a second in confusion before snorting and pushing his face away.

“Shut up.” She laughed as she said it, and Dave grinned. The smile on his face was unrestricted as she spoke, and he looked back at her.

“Make me.” He said, teasingly, and Vriska’s posture and tone immediately changed. Even sitting in bed in spider pajamas, she looked controlling, and in command. Her shoulders stayed loose but her body stayed tight, and her voice didn’t turn autorative, but it became manipulative.

“Shut up, Dave.” Dave found himself nodding, before he realized that he was actually feeling a little forced into doing what she said, and she looked at him. “Now seriously, why were you staring at me?” Dave shrugged, disappeared, and teleported in bed next to her.

“A few reasons. I wanted to know if you liked the pictures-”

“You could have asked.”

“You could have lied. And, honestly, I was kind of hoping this would end up triggering a laugh from you, at some point. You’ve been busy and I never actually see you laugh or whatever, even when we’re alone.  I thought I should change that. You deserve to laugh a little more.” He said it seriously, and Vriska sighed, then leaned on him.

“That’s cheesy.” Dave smirked.

“Really? I thought it was pretty gouda.” He responded, and as soon as Vriska got it, she hit him.

“If I wanted puns, I could go back to dating John.” Dave looked at her, noting their comfortable position.

“You think he would? I hate to be cocky, but he kind of fell hard for me.” He responded, and Vriska rolled her eyes.

“You mean, this timeline’s Dave?” She asked, and Dave smirked.

“Both, really.” Vriska  smirked.

“Oh, should I be jealous?” She questioned, and Dave looked over at her.

“Depends. Which person would make you jealous? Who would you be into?” Vriska looked at him too, and lifted her eyebrows a little.

“Why don’t you figure that out on your own?” She asked, her voice half a whisper, and Dave’s shades fell on his nose so he could make eye contact.

“Really? I thought you liked making things take less time. Seems like you’re wasting time by making me figure it out myself. What happened to being efficient?” The words came out at the same tone as Vriska’s, and Vriska closed the photo album with her hand, without diverting her attention from Dave.

“Don’t talk to me about wasting time- a certain asshole took a while to come see me in this timeline. And don’t say you didn’t know that I knew like before, because I’m sure you’ve already looked into the future for outcomes, and you would have seen me working with you.” She said, and Dave raised an eyebrow.

“Maybe I didn’t feel  like teleporting in when you were, uh, super young, because I’d age and things would be weird?” He asked, and Vriska looked down.

“It’s not like you would have had to stay. You could show up, and come back when I was older, and give me some confirmation that I’m not crazy. It wouldn’t have mattered that you left me to come back later.” The words came out defiant, but there was some hesitation in Vriska’s tone. Dave sighed, and ran a hand through his hair.

“First things first- yeah it would. You would have built up some stuff about me, and working with you would have been terrible, for both of us. Second, and no offense, but I thought you would have noticed this one. I can’t- or, I don’t want to leave you, Vriska. I know that the second I met you, I would have preferred to stay in a timeline, and wait it out with you. Even if it meant that I got awkwardly older-Vriska, you are home. To me. You’re still you. Everyone else changed so much in this timeline, but you still have your memories. Honestly, if we didn’t have John, and Terezi, and Tavros to fight over back home and we had to work together, things would have been like this. With… us.” He paused, and looked at her. “So, what’s your justification for making me ‘figure it out on my own’? Because I kind of just took your argument, threw it out of the window, and teleported it into a minefield where it explodes and disintegrates on impact.” Vriska looked at him, and down at the album.

“Maybe I don’t want to rush things. Or, I want to focus on the mission right now, and worry about- well, the rest later.” Dave looked at her.

“But why? If you want something, or feel something, or whatever, why spend a long time drawing it out and waiting?” He asked, and Vriska looked at him.

“You know, I considered putting some mark out for you in the timeline for a while. Especially when my memories started fading in, and I- you know, wanted you there.” She said, and Dave raised an eyebrow.

“So, without knowing that I’d ignore them, you didn’t. Why?” He asked, and Vriska sighed.

“Hey, maybe some things are worth waiting for.” She responded, and picked up the album. “Here. My parents will be back soon.” Dave looked surprised behind his shades.

“Yeah, how’d you know? They’ll be here in three… two…”

“One.” The garage door opened, and Vriska smirked. “You’re not the only one who knows what’s happening, Dave. It’s not hard to make a lucky guess or two. Be sure to talk to Dirk. Now.” Vriska offered, and Dave sighed.

“Okay. I mean, I already said I would, so I’ll do it now. No use wasting time. Goodnight, spiderbitch.” He said, and Vriska looked at him, a genuine smile on her face.

“Night, sunglasshole. See you tomorrow, when we “rally the troops”.” She said, and he smirked.

“See you.” Future Dave disappeared, returned, shut off her room light, and left again. Vriska relaxed and put herself in bed again. Finally, it was time for all of this to be over.

_____________--

GUYS WE’RE NEARING THE END WOW.

JAFNF Chapter 144

(Saturday, July 18)

Future Dave sighed, and teleported back into the recent past. With a lot of work and careful consideration, there weren’t a ton of copies of him running around and messing with the timelines, which was nice. He’d  tried to talk to Jane (who was only slightly older than she had been back home) but she was under the Crockercorp mind control from his own timeline. They’d calculated for this, so it wasn’t unexpected, but it wasn’t a pleasant surprise either, and Vriska probably wouldn’t be elated to hear the news. Which meant that all they really needed to do at this point was explain the plan, objective, goals, and risks everyone would take by deciding to fight- and fighting against a variety of targets that wanted their friends dead. Roxy was awake and functioning, and thankfully didn’t have to adjust much to her daemon body. Unfortunately, that meant that they lacked the element of surprise. Their foes were expecting an attack and they weren’t going down easily- especially Lord English.

In less mission important matters, his conversation with his brother (kind of) went a lot better than he expected, and he’d helped him figure some things out. Dirk helped Dave come to terms with his actual brother’s abusive tendencies. The futuristic Dave would deny crying if anyone asked, but of course, he did. In truth, future Dave was both dreading the end of their mission and looking forward to it. He looked forward to it because- well, it would be over, and everyone would be safe. But he dreaded it too. He had no idea what he’d do after that. Dave wanted to stay with Vriska, his only remnant of home, but he knew he couldn’t stay in a timeline where there was already another Dave. He didn’t want to get in the way of his happiness, or anyone else’s.

He had a few ideas, but had yet to propose them to his friend. He knew that neither of them really felt like they belonged in this timeline, but he wasn’t sure that Vriska would want to leave either. He could ask her later, but that wasn’t something he was allowed to worry about now. No, now he had to focus, and make sure that this timeline’s versions of his friends were safe, and that their enemies were dead.

_______________--

“Is everyone here?” Came Vriska’s voice, and the group of people and supernaturals looked around at each other.

There were about fifteen, maybe fewer friends and family sitting in the park, and all of them were more than ready to know what was going on. Karkat sat next to Jade, who leaned on Dirk. Jake put a hand on Roxy’s horns, then pulled it away when it was sharp. Clearly, he was getting used to Roxy’s new body as much as Roxy was. Sollux texted away on his phone, and Equius shot him a look of distaste. Nepeta and Tavros talked to each other in mild confusion, and the two broke out in giggles from time to time. Rose and Kanaya were present as well, and they both sat around the timeline’s current Dave, who was more tense than he looked. Meenah sat near Vriska, and the two had been talking in the front until she’d called out to the entire group. They all seemed to be waiting for something, but none of them knew what. Eventually, they found out. Future Dave teleported in next to Vriska, who looked at him.

“You’re late.” She said, and he shrugged.

“You haven’t started yet. And anyway, I was checking in on Jane- she’s been crockertiered. That going to do anything bad?” Vriska sighed, and gave a look of distaste, but shook her head.

“Nah, we’ll be fine- just means that the hate nerds will have to work together. But, they can pull it together for this, right?” Dave shrugged.

“They did it before. Ready to tell them what’s going on?” he asked, and Vriska sighed.

“Yeah, it’s about time.” She turned to the group of people that sat next to each other. “Hey. Guys, attention up here.” The group quieted, and turned to her. It looked like they were amid some summer get together in their isolated area of the park, but of course, they weren’t. Vriska spoke up. “Thanks. I know Dave- this Dave, and I have been teleporting in and out of your lives for a few weeks, and we’ve talked to a few of you. Hopefully, you guys know the basics- the world’s going to end, and we’re stopping it. If you have questions, raise your hand.” She said, and Equius looked at Vriska, and lifted his. Vriska nodded at him, and he spoke.

“Ah, you said that in the memo. Would you expand on that, please?” He asked, and Vriska nodded.

“Sure. All of you guys have had some experience with a super natural, or are one- or something in between. You’ve either been converted, or came to fight hunters that one time, or something. Either way, you’re at least marginally good with a weapon and trustworthy enough to have kept supernaturals secret all of this time, right?” She saw a few nods in the crowd. “Good. You guys are all here because you’re trustworthy, and not evil. Just thought you should know that, before we get started. Dave, if you will? And some of them don’t know you.” She said, and nodded at Future Dave.

“Oh yeah. Well, hey guys. I’m alternate timeline future Dave, which is a bunch of time travel bullshit words for a guy who came from the horrible future to change what’s happening now. Kind of. Anyway, things went terrible back where I’m from, and I came to this timeline to stop it. So, nice to meet you all, or see you again.” He raised a casual hand in greeting, and most people did the same. Nepeta blinked.

“Hi!” She called, and it prompted a smile from future Dave. He was glad to see her alive.

“Hey, Nepeta. Anyway, in case you guys didn’t know, we have a problem here- a huge ass one, actually. And evil, world eating monster low key wants to take over our planet, other plantets, and every universe in the history of time. To do that, he and his followers have kidnapped a few people, tortured some, and resurrected people to do it. And some of those people are still kidnapped, or in captivity, or some other shit situation that sucks ass. Which leads us to the first part of stopping the end of the world- rescue.” Vriska spoke up at that.

“Right. Right now, we’ve got a few near and dear people that are mind controlled, trapped, or just being kidnapped. They’re all pretty heavy hitters in our operation, and I know all of you care about all of them, which means that we’re going to save them. One of them, who I’m pretty sure all of us know, is John Egbert. If Dave’s current data’s correct, he’s being suspended from unbreakable chains and being tortured for information. Before all you chivalrous people volunteer to go save him, there’s more. His mom- Jane Egbert, is currently being mind controlled and forced to head Crockercorp, which is pretty bad, since she’s our one person who can resurrect people from the dead. John’s Dad is also currently kidnapped, but he’s not being hurt or mind controlled, and he’ll break out of prison eventually. Along with that, there’s- oh, I’d say about a hundred people over the entire globe that are kidnapped and being slowly turned into daemons right now. Helping them would be nice, especially Rufioh, but we can get on it later. Any questions about the people we’ve got to save?” She asked, and Dave raised his hand.

“Uh, yeah. If John’s chains are unbreakable, how am I- I mean, are we you know, getting him out of there?” He questioned, and future Dave spoke up.

“Actually, that’s going to be your job, and I’ll tell you later. Any other questions?” He asked, and Nepeta raised her hand.

“Who would do this to John and his family? And why?” She asked, and Vriska looked pleasantly surprised.

“Good segway, Nepeta. I’ll explain in part two: our targets. There’s a few guys we have to take out, some more powerful than others. I’ll go ahead and tell you now- some of these guys are just pathetic, and we shouldn’t waste anyone with powers that are too good on them. But before we start sign ups for bad guys to beat, you need to know who they are! So, the first group is going to be about twelve time travelling leprachauns, with a variety of different powers. They’re all green and play pool, so for now, I’ll call them the felt. Really, they’re not a hard group to beat at all, but there’s a lot of them, especially when they start using their powers. It’s more tedious than anything.” She said, and Equius raised a hand.

“So, would they be considered a group for more, er, skilled fighters?” He asked, and Vriska put a hand on her chin.

“Nah. They just have a lot of annoying people on their side, and they make tons of copies of themselves. I’d say that we need someone who’s good at fighting big groups- but more on that later.” She noticed that Karkat had a notebook, and he was doodling in it as she talked. She frowned, but realized that she could use it towards the mission. “Ah, Karkat! Great, you have a notebook, you’re prepared.” Karkat looked up, startled.

“Uh- yeah. You know me.” He said, and Jade raised an eyebrow at his tone, but didn’t speak. Vriska smirked at him, and winked.

“I like it. And since you are, could you do me a favor, since you’re the only one that brought paper?” Karkat frowned, disliking the idea of doing any favors for Vriska, but he couldn’t deny that he felt a little important. He nodded, and Vriska smiled at him. “Good. Draw eleven heads with numbered hats that go up to eleven, but skip number four, then draw the person with the four on their hat to the side. Okay? I’m going to need you to do diagrams.” Surprised, Karkat nodded and began to work.  Future Dave looked at her.

“Uh, what’s with the side project?” He questioned quietly, and Vriska responded in the same tone.

“If I don’t give him something to do, he’ll bitch and moan like last time, then zone out. This is better.” Dave’s eyebrows lifted in surprise, and he snorted.

“Nice idea.”

“I’m full of them. Now” Vriska turned back to the group. “Karkat, listen to what I’m saying, because I’m going to have to ask for another drawing next.” Karkat nodded as he drew, and Vriska spoke.  “Good. Now, the next bad guy is kind of complicated. His name’s Jack, and in case this is relevant- which, surprise, it will be- he’s the were-daemon-pire that bit Jade and made her a werewolf. He’s not that bad of a guy, but he wants to kill John, now that he knows that John’s Lord English’s weakness, he wants to take him out to kill Lord English.” She saw a few hands raise, and spoke up. “Don’t worry, I’ll explain big LE in a second. The thing with Jack is that PM, if you guys remember him, is pretty much his equal, and she’s going to hunt him down. But, like I said, they’re equals, so it may be tough for her to beat him. We’ll strategize on them in a minute. Karkat, if you could draw two wolf headed people on a new sheet of paper, with white and black fur respectively, I’d appreciate it.”

“Art takes time, fuckers. But sure, coming soon.” Karkat responded, and Vriska nodded.

“Right. Take all the time you need, Karkat. Now, onto our next target. Jack has a few people he’s working with that want John dead too, but they’re kind of a joke. They all have the wrong information, which means that they could end up wherever. It’s bad because we can’t plan for them, but they’re not hard to fight. Just don’tget blown up, and you’ll be fine. Add them to that picture of the wolf headed people, Jack and PM.”

“Got it.”

“There’s one more kind of elusive target, I guess. Her name’s snowman, or that’s what they call her, and she’s really weird. I’ve been trying to get intel on her for years, and I have no idea what she really wants or who she’s siding with. So, look out for her, and don’t kill her, but stay away from her too.” She said, and looked at Dave. “Uh, if you want to take the two big ones-”

“Sure. After all these assholes that are connected to kidnapping or killing people in some way, we have our two big ones. First, I fucking swear in the court that I’m not fucking joking, so don’t do any of that middle school girl nervous laughter bullshit on me when you can’t tell if I’m joking or not, okay?” He asked, and Jake looked confused, but the crowd nodded. “Good. Karkat, get your fucking pencil ready, shit gets serious. First, we’ve got- and no assholes, I’m not joking- Betty Crocker. She may not look like much in the commercials, but she’s a siren that hypnotises people, experiments on them, converts them into daemons, and personally torture-converted Roxy over there- loving the eyes, by the way- so she’s not a fucking joke. She’s pretty much magical sea Hitler, for some perspective. If sea hitler were an endgame boss. She’ll be the hardest fight we have, so we want the most skilled people on her. No one is fighting her alone, and we’re going to need a team facing her that’s strong as fuck. She’s a master of hypnosis, and well trained in any and every art of combat. Oh, and she’s Meenah’s mom. So, to reiterate- no one is fighting her alone. Got it?” Jake raised his hand. “Yes?”

“Pray tell, is she the biggest villain we’ll face?” Meenah spoke up from the crowd.

“Shell no. Mom’s tough, but there’s worse.” She said, and Jake frowned. “Don’t worry, buoy. You betta believe they got a plan.” Dave nodded.

“Yeah, thanks Meenah. As our own kickass fish over here was saying, we’ve got a bigger villain- Lord English. Karkat, do the drawing thing. Now, Lord English is a timeline eating, ultra powerful space-time lord cherub that holds pretty much everything that governs this universe under his domain of power.  He’s unkillable by any means we poses, except one, but I already know that won’t happen so I’m not going to suggest it. He and John have a weird, complicated association with each other, and I can’t get into all of it now, but Vriska will give you the information you need to know about that- right?” Vriska stepped forward then.

“We may as well tell them now. First- a little backround info.  Cherubs feed off the emotions in people’s blood signatures to survive, like an incubus, if you’re familiar with daemons.” She saw a few nods in the crowd. “Like most incubi, Lord English can hurt his target when feeding off him. The process ended up being a bad one for John. Unlike incubi, however, cherubs run a risk of getting tied to a feeding target. In essence, they can get stuck feeding from that target, only, and they can’t survive off anyone else’s blood signatures. It’s good and bad for them, for a variety of reasons. Anyway, Lord English, previously known as Caliborn, fed off John Egbert’s misery, from his blood signature. Stuff happened, but I’ll fast forward to a few months ago when John learned that Crockercorp was kidnapping people like Latula and converting them into daemons via torture, mind control, and various methods. Their goal was the domination of multiple worlds, and if John didn’t do anything, he knew no one would.  Stuff happened, and eventually, Lord English, or Caliborn made a deal with him. English promised to stop the end of the world if John would agree to letting him feed off him and not escape. He resurrected John’s mom, and used all of you as a bargaining chip against him. John agreed. But, instead of taking down the people that wanted to dominate and destroy the world, Lord English was an asshole and decided to take it over himself, and work with the people he promised to stop. Eventually, John joined Dave and my plan to destroy him, destroy Crockercorp, and save the world. Of course, Caliborn ended up finding out that we were plotting to end him. Fortunately, after pulling a few strings, Dave and I have been able to stop him from travelling into the future right now to undo what we’re doing. But, that also means that he only has one way to know what’s going on, and that’s through John. So, for a few days, Lord English has been torturing John out there in the uncharted areas of the dream bubbles to know what we plan to do.”  Various looks of horror and worry scattered across the crowd. Tavros raised his hand.

“Is he…. Has he… I mean, uh, has he, you know, um, said anything?” Vriska smirked.

“He hasn’t said a word. John’s a loyal guy. Which is why we need to save him.” She said, and she noticed a few people nodding. The Dave in the crowd had his hands clenched into fists, and he was silent. Vriska’s eyes softened a little when she looked at him, but she didn’t address him. Instead, she turned to Karkat. “You have those drawings ready?” She asked, and he nodded, then handed her his notebook. They were predictably bad, but she thanked him anyway. “Thanks, Karkat. Anyway, now we have two things to go over- the plan, and who’s doing what. Sound good?” She asked, and they all nodded. Vriska looked towards the future Dave.

“Good. Now, this plan thing kind of comes in phases, so I need you all to listen the fuck up. Phase one is Jane. We’ve got to rescue her, and I’ll need Equius and Sollux to fucking work together, please.” Sollux looked up.

“Why the hell?” He questioned, and Equius shot him a glare.

“Please, there is no need for such language-”

“I wasn’t asking you, pretentious armpit.” Came Sollux’s response, and Equius looked personally offended.

“Well, I-”

“Both of you stop!” Vriska commanded, and they did, instantly. “Look, we don’t have time for whiny bullshit. You two are both going to work together, as people who are good with robotics and mechanics, and unhack Jane. I know we have Roxy and Dirk here, but they’re way too valuable on the fighting front to be used for that, so the job falls to you two. Okay?” She asked, and Equius and Sollux shared a glance, but both nodded. “Any questions about that?” Sollux spoke up.

“Yeah, one. What do you mean, unhack?” Vriska sighed.

“We calculated that this may happen. Jane’s under mind control right now, thanks to a contraption built by Crockercorp. It’s red and like a crown. If you took it off directly, you’d take the rest of her brain functionality with it. I need Equius’ knowledge of mechanics and Sollux’s skill in hacking to make sure you shut it down and disassemble it, without frying Jane’s brain. I already know you can do it. So suck it up and work together, alright? This mission’s time sensitive, and if you guys waste time arguing, we’re kind of fucked.” She added, and they nodded in sync. Future Dave smirked at that, then talked.

“Awesome. While they finish that, I’m going to need Roxy to make her window portal gun again, and open up a few portals in a few places.  We have designated areas for each target. I’ve been able to feed Jack enough wrong information that everyone he’s working with is a little confused. Whoever signs up to fight Jack, provided that PM doesn’t get him first, is going to be enjoying a classic rooftop anime battle of the ages. Cool, I know. Anyway, we’ll set up portals to wherever we’re fighting. We’ll have a certain number of people on each set of villains, depending on skill and difficulty, and we’re pretty much just all going to be fighting at the same time.” Dave looked up for the first time since the meeting’s onset.

“What about John?” He asked, and Future Dave nodded.

“Don’t worry, I’ll cover it. John’s going to be right where we’re fighting Lord English, but our job is to get him out of there before someone kills him. Preferably, he’ll end up back here, near our healer, Jane. By then, she should be awake and active enough to start healing. Oh, and a side note about that- under no circumstances is Jane fighting anyone, at all. No. John’s dad, who’s actually going to break out of prison on his own, will be a useful assist, but Jane should not be in the line of fire. On that note, if John goes into said line of fire, do not allow him anywhere near Lord English. Seriously, that would screw us all over fucking sideways. It would be as bad as a ruined wedding, suck like losing all of your money, and with any other similie, be a negative situation. After you get him free, he goes straight to Jane for healing, and he stays safe. Don’t. Let. Him. Near. Lord English. Got it?” He requested, and the crowd of people looked uneasy, but they all seemed to agree anyway.

“Why not though?” Roxy dared to ask, and future Dave looked down.

“It… goes bad.” It was all he said, and it was enough to send a chill through the crowd. “Anyway, here’s a basic layout of the plan. We pop into Jane’s prison cell, and Tavros poofs her to sleep. You know, special stardust or whatever the fuck you pixies use. We come back to base, here, and Equius and Sollux start unhacking her. Roxy moves out, and puts portals where we need them, for ease of transportation. The group that’s fighting Lord English goes into uncharted dream bubble space, where John is, and rescues him.  We cut him out of his chains and send him through a portal, and hopefully, wonder nerds will be done healing Jane. He’ll be out of it until you do.”

“What kind of condition should we expect John to be in?” Dirk questioned, and future Dave glanced at the current version of himself in a little worry, then sighed.

“Not good. Whoever goes to save John, expect a throbbing hunk of meat, at this point. Uh, weak stomachs aren’t suited for the job.” He added, and it was enough to make more looks of worry, and anger surge through the crowd. Alternate Dave shared a look with Vriska, then continued. “Anyway, fight him like he’s a videogame boss. We’ll have to weaken him, then Vriska can release the juju that will trap him. I’ll explain more on that for whoever goes to save him. I know we’re nowhere near a full moon, which means a lot of you are stuck on your lowest power setting, but that’s the only way that we can damage him. Anyway, while we’re there, another team should be fighting Betty Crocker in her personal dream bubble, on Derse. It’ll end up right outside where Jane was imprisioned, for some perspective. That group actually just has to kill her. I really don’t have any special tips or tricks for that- just end her. While all of that is going on, I’ll want two people that are low on the magic powers to fight felt. Uh, after that, we just have- oh, yeah. People are going to fight Jack, who’s trying to kill John, and attempt to beat him. He’s powerful, and dangerous, so be careful.” He said, and took a breath. “Any questions about the general layout of the plan? Not who’s doing what, but just what’s going on.”

“Are all of our fights happening at the same time?” Karkat’s voice came, and Vriska resisted rolling her eyes.

“Yeah. In seprate locations. Oh, and a note on that- guys. If you’re fighting somewhere, don’t teleport over to someone else’s fighting location. We don’t want all of our fights in the same place. I’ll have a few safe spots you can go to, but don’t go to other people’s fights, okay?” She requested, and she got a few nods. “Good. Oh, here comes the fun part- deciding who’s doing what.” Vriska picked up a pencil, and smirked out at the crowd. “Now, who’s ready to save the world?”  

_______________-

7 pager= good.


	28. chapters 145-150

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> THE FINAL CHAPTER(s). They're here, we did it.  
> Pages 1311-1364

JAFNF Chapter 145

(Saturday, July 18)

Vriska sat in front of the group of people, and realized she had to clarify after everyone looked ready.“If you already have a job, you’re doing that. You can come in and fight where it’s needed once that’s over. Uh, anyone want to fight felt? That’s the large group of people, and we’ll need two that don’t have any magical ability at their disposal to do it. Any volunteers?” Karkat raised his hand, and future Dave raised an eyebrow at him.

“Karkat, you-”

“Are the first one to volunteer. Yeah, asshole, that’s me.” He said, finishing before he could reveal too much, and Vriska nodded, then wrote his name down on the sheet with members of the felt.

“Cool. One more- uh, Jok- I mean, Jake, you want to? You’re a little low in the magic department right now and pretty skilled.” She added, and he nodded. “Good.  There’s a lot of felt members, so just… be ready. Uh, hm. Anyone want Jack? He’s a toughie.” She added. Dirk raised his hand.

“I’ll get him.”

“You don’t want English?” Vriska asked, surprised, and Dirk shrugged.

“I’m going where I’m statistically needed most. I’ll send Davepeta into fight him in my place, if you were planning for me. Odds are, this Jack guy’s going to need some serious sword fighting.” He said, and future Dave flinched. Dirk noticed, but before he could comment, Vriska wrote him in.

“Sounds good. Anyone else?” She asked, and future Dave coughed.

“I’m- write me in.” He said, and Vriska looked equally as surprised. “Trust me, Vris. I need to- just, trust me here.” He said, and She shrugged.

“If you want. One more?” Jade volunteered, and Vriska put her name down. “Good, someone who teleports- I like it. Good luck, guys. Next, we have the big bad batterwitch. Who wants a piece of her?” The Lalonde’s hands shot into the air instantly, and Vriska smirked. “Now that’s what I like to see.”

“Add me to the list as well.” Kanaya requested, and Vriska did it.

“Sounds good. You guys are a pretty capable team. Uh, odds are, John’s going to join you guys, and with him, I think you’ll kick ass. I guess everyone else is on our English mission?” Vriska questioned, and For the most part, people nodded. Future Dave broke in.

“Uh, no,not everyone else. Right?” He asked, and Vriska coughed.

“Oh, yeah. Nepeta, I’ll need you to stay here and guard home base. Equius and Sollux are going to be here with you, for the most part. There is a small, but terrifying chance that you’ll be facing off against a juggalo, and we need this place as a safe zone. If Gamzee comes in, knife hand the fuck out of him, okay?” She asked, and Nepeta nodded, while Roxy turned around in surprise.

“Wait, clowns?” She asked, and looked at the group. “You mean those internet things are true?” She questioned, and Vriska nodded.

“Well, yeah. But I’m not talking about an internet clown attack- I mean a multi millennial year old, sober or high juggalo troll that was Lord English’s original guardian. He still may be loyal to him now, and if Tavros isn’t here to calm him down, we’ll need Nepeta to end him. We don’t want any unexpected variables in this, okay?” She said, and everyone nodded. “Good. So I’ve got- hm. Tavros, me, Meenah, Current Dave, and Davepeta- sounds good. Did I forget anything?” She asked, and Future Dave raised his eyebrows.

“Jane?” He asked, and Vriska nodded.

“Oh, yeah. Right. That’s going to be before the fighting starts, so everyone that’s been assigned to a fight can still do it. We’re going to need a group of people, to sneak in and get Jane, then get out. What we’re looking for is stealth, and speed. Someone who’s good at kidnapping. Someone who knows how to grab the girl, without hurting or disturbing her, then make her pass out. Maybe like, three or four people? I need absolute walking silence.  And, they all need to already work well together. Anyone up for the job?” Roxy and Jake looked at each other, and Dirk caught their eyes over his glasses. He snorted, bringing attention to the three adults.

“Damn, that’s us.” He said, and Jake smirked.

“I’d like to see old Janey again before we fight.”

“What do you think she’ll look like when she realizes that we kidnapped her?” Roxy asked, and Jake grinned.

“She’ll do a Jane face.” He said, and Roxy laughed at that. Vriska didn’t really get it, but she shrugged.

“Alright, the hunters and Dirk are in! This is all about timing, guys. First, Roxy’s going to show us all how to portal hop- Roxy, if you could?” Roxy nodded, and summoned the red portal gun. She shot it at the ground, and Vriska looked at her. “Just do it a few meters to the side.” She said, and Roxy nodded. After inputting coordinates, she opened the window, and smirked.

“Uh, hey! I’m Roxy, for anyone that doesn’t know me. I recently got converted into a daemon, and now I can do this thing where I make window portals, or whatever. To demonstrate, I guess I’ll just go inside. It’s a little self explanatory. You go in one portal, and you shoot the gun while inside directly under you, then you come out on the other side. I’ll probably already have these things made for you, so you just jump in and out. You’re travelling through the void, so time’s going to stop when you use these things, I think. Someone can check. I’ll just-” Roxy stepped in, and instantly, a portal appeared, and she came out of it a few meters away from the crowd. “Ta- Da!” She said, and everyone looked impressed.

“How does it work?” He asked, and Roxy shrugged.

“It’s magic, not technical. You wanna try with me?” She asked, and Dirk shrugged.

“Sure.”Roxy stepped up to the side of the portal and looked down, then at Dirk. “Oh, after you.” He amended, and Roxy immediately walked inside. He jumped in after her, and they fell. The two couldn’t hear each other until they reached the opposite side of the portal. Roxy popped out, and scrambled out of the way so Dirk could do the same. He caught his glasses as he felt gravity switch, and landed. “Cool.” Roxy smirked.

“I know, right? Anyone else want to try?” Vriska broke in. This wasn’t the time to be playing around, and a demonstration was all Roxy needed at this point.

“Actually, you’ll all do it when you teleport to your battle locations. Remember, time is working against us. And, this meeting still isn’t over, there’s a few more basics to cover.”

“Like?” Came a voice, and Vriska turned to it.

“Like, most of you are probably going to die.” That made the crowd fall silent, and future Dave rolled his eyes.

“Did you guys not realize this before? We said this was end of the world shit. These enemies we’re putting you against want all of us dead, and out of their way. Does the fact that yeah, some of you guys may die change that? We’re still trying to save the world.” He said, and the crowd was silent. Vriska put a hand on her forehead.

“Oh damn. This wasn’t a problem back home. Look, if anyone isn’t totally okay with putting their life on the line to save our world, and every other world within and outside the history of time, tell me now, okay? I don’t care, just tell me.” A few people looked around, and Vriska snapped at them. “Hey, this shit isn’t about what other people are going to do. Eyes up front. Now, I don’t have time for bullshit. If you want out, raise your fucking hand.” She said, and they waited for a few seconds. No one did. She turned to future Dave. “Hey, is anyone going to opt out?” She asked, and thankfully, no one did. She sighed in relief, and put a hand on her chest. “Good. You guys scared me there, holy shit.” She said, and future Dave spoke up.

“Hey, thanks for staying. Now, a few important notes. Jane’s not in anyone’s line of fire because she’s our healer.” He said, and sighed, like he was regretting his words. “That means that if you die… she can bring you back.” He said, and a few mumbles of relief came from the crowd. Future Dave spoke. “But only once! Don’t get any stupid ideas, and don’t use your life as a tool to win. Honestly, if you’re not okay with dying permanently, don’t die, okay?” He asked, and everyone agreed. “Also, John’s already been killed once when he was in captivity with English, so he really, really can’t die. Got it?” he added, and current Dave’s hands tightened into fists.

“Wait, he did?” Vriska asked, and Future Dave sighed.

“Yeah. Back when he was getting the original torturing, Caliborn was a fucking idiot and tried a guillotine. Jane healed John, but he still died. There was probably a period of time when John was depressed as fuck, but recently? That was probably a result of stress from, you know, being tortured and healed every day. So yeah- situations suck.” He said, and various looks of disgust and guilt permeated the crowd. “And, another note- stay in your battle area. We don’t want to be teleporting into each other’s areas, okay? Jade, I have a few places that you can scatter our fight, but for Kanaya and Tavros, don’t leave your designated area, okay?” He asked, and they nodded in understanding. Dave looked towards Vriska.

“Uh, Vriska will give you layouts and stuff that you need. We’re going to need good communication, because once we get Jane out of there, we won’t have long until Lord English is informed. We need John to be safe before we start fighting, and when we start facing off against Lord English, everyone els can start fighting too. Vriska, do you have the layout of derse so that the people who rescue Jane know where to go?” He asked, and she nodded.

“Yeah, Roxy, Jake and, uh, Dirk, come over here. The rest of you, get to know who you’re fighting and who you’re fighting with. Try thinking of a strategy, or something. Dave, you can go ahead and talk to Dave, I’ll get things situated over here. I have villain info, so use that for a strategy. Okay?” She said, and everyone nodded. Future Dave looked at the current one and walked over to him.

“Hey, me. Can we talk?” He asked, and the current Dave looked down. He let out a sigh, and a few people watched them curiously, but no one commented. Current Dave looked far less enthused than anticipated, and Future Dave needed to know why. Even with his sunglasses, the slightly younger vampire didn’t look up to meet his future self’s eyes.

“Sure.” He stood, and Dave put out a hand. He frowned, then put out his hand. Current Dave grasped it, and the two disappeared in a red flash. Once they time teleported away, they were exactly twenty minutes in the past and alert. Their location was the land of Heat and Clockwork, and a few nakodiles seemed surprised by their arrivial, but neither paid them much attention. “We’re… here.” Future Dave nodded.

“Yeah, heat and clockwork. You like it here, right?” Dave nodded.

“I do.” Future Dave smirked.

“Course you do- time kid. Anyway, wanna talk?” He asked, and current Dave raised an eyebrow.

“About what?” Dave rolled his eyes.

“Come on, me. Everyone was expecting you to be all heroic and determined back there, and you were sullen and quiet. And before you make the excuse that you were concentrating, like everyone else, I’ll call bullshit. I know me. I know you. I know when something’s wrong- so save us both a bunch of shit and tell me, hm?” He asked, and Dave sighed, and looked down.

“It’s stupid.” Future Dave rolled his eyes.

“Clearly. Doesn’t mean you can’t talk to yourself about it.” He said, and leaned over Dave. “After all, if you can’t be honest with yourself, who can you really admit things to?” He asked, and Dave sighed. Future him was right.

“It’s just… he never told me.” He said, and Dave raised an eyebrow, but let his current self continue. “I mean, I get it. He was trying to keep me safe, protected. But he never let me know, and never told me. Never explained why he pushed me away, or reciprocated my feelings. We’re all ready to go save John, but he still couldn’t tell me. Still couldn’t let me know how he felt, and what he meant. He never said what was going on, even as I go into help now. I know- he wanted to help. He didn’t want me to risk my life, but still. Hearing all of this, I feel like he’s spun so may lies that everything for the past few months has been a lie. Everything John did was calculated, and I didn’t even know it, and he couldn’t tell me. It’s shitty.” Dave explained, and future Dave put a hand on Dave’s arm.

“Hey, bud-” Dave twisted out of his grasp.

“I’m okay without that, really.” He responded automatically, and Future Dave paused. They were walking over hot lava and burning metal. Now wasn’t the time to be stupid- he dad to be direct with himself.

“I’m the reason why John started lying to you.” Dave paused from walking away from his future self, and the older took that as an opportunity to speak. “I’m the reason why he started ignoring you, and pushing you away. It wasn’t even Vriska- all me.” Current Dave twitched, and turned.

“Why?”

“I wanted to use you guys to stop the end of the world. John didn’t know what he was getting into when I first started talking to him. I told him to stay away from you.” Dave frowned.

“This was during the school year, when he was being spacey, and ignored me often.” Future Dave sighed.

“Yeah. We went on the oblivious John equivalent of a date. I gave him flowers and took him to school.” Dave looked down.

“Was that necessary?” Future Dave leaned away from him.

“No. I felt like it- that part. I needed to take him out so he could meet certain people, but other than that…”

“You were the reason John wasn’t- so, all of those weeks of confusion and anger during my finals just…” His sentence trailed off. Future Dave added more salt to the wound.

“Karkat knew about me. John asked him to keep quiet about me, and he did. Before all the take the world stuff.” Dave paused, and gave Future Dave no warning of his actions. Immediately, he moved to punch himself in the face, but his future self dodged easily. The anger and betrayal he’d felt bubbled up inside him, and Dave prepared to fight himself.

It lasted for a while, and Dave punched without regard to much else. Future Dave didn’t protest.  He just dodged deftly, gracefully, and tried not to hurt himself. Future Dave didn’t time teleport a sword into his hands to defend himself, and instead, jumped and dodged and redirected their fight away from the lava. They travelled through heat and clockwork quickly, and Future Dave knew that his current self wasn’t trying hard to hit him, but needed to vent frustration.

“Both of your friends kept things from you.” Future Dave egged him on. “They decided to trust my judgment instead of yours. John didn’t tell you anything that was happening to him. He was getting beaten, tortured, and refused to say a word to anyone but me. Me and his ex girlfriend, Vriska. Don’t ignore it, Dave- think about it.” He dodged, and noticed current Dave’s masked expression begin to crack.

He tried hard to be stoic and methodic in his punches, but he couldn’t. The anger of weeks of getting ignored when he tried to help and not knowing how he felt and getting lied to tore into him, and it slowly started to come out in his face, in his fighting. Tears- actual, real tears sat in the corners of his eyes, and flew off as he changed position and fought. The things he’d been so sure of since- what, during spring break, were long gone. John was the one thing he promised himself would always be there, and always be the same. The one thing that Dave had stable in his life for years became the thing that shook and changed more than anything over the course of mere months, because of Future Dave.

And all of that frustration, and wondering what he did wrong, and if it was his fault came to mind too, because ironically enough, it was. With a start, Future Dave realized he’d made a wrong turn. In navigating heat and clockwork backwards, he realized that he was at a dead end. He couldn’t dodge and move anymore, and the only thing in front of him was lava. Dave’s fists clenched, and he looked down. He knew there was only lava behind them, and his eyes were squeezed shut behind his glasses. Tears cascaded down his cheeks, and he felt them, but refused to aknowledge them.

“Why?” He questioned, his voice low, and upset. Future Dave stood in front of his shaking self, and refused to see his significantly more naive self as weak. This had been stewing in his chest for months now, and he knew it hurt him. Future Dave knew he hurt himself. And he answered.

“The worst shit always happens to Daves.” He told himself, and he saw current Dave look up. Future Dave turned, and looked out over the lava, and various metal structures in the distance. “We always get the worst shit. Even in the best of the best timelines- we generally always end up a little unhappier, slightly more depressed. No matter what we do.” He said, and looked to the side. His voice was a little bitter. “It’s because we try too hard. Care too much. We get attached. “Home” means something to every Dave, and let’s face it- more often than not, it’s taken away. And we die. Often. We die all the fucking time, trying to protect it. You’d think that time travelling would keep us safer. It just means there’s more of us who die.”He swallowed, and turned back around, to see his current self.  He avoided contact, and looked down at the vampire seriously.

“Dave. There’s millions of Dead Daves. Billions of lost, depressed, broken ones. Billions of timelines where things go wrong.  And a lot of them are because we get attached, and we care. We care a lot about our friends, our families.” He squeezed his current self’s shoulder. “I don’t want to let you be one of those. John cares about you too much to let you possibly get hurt, or killed. It’s why he didn’t explain anything, and ignored you, and lied. It’s pretty much what I told him to do, and John listened, because he thought it would be better.  And that’s why I’m saying it now- I’m sorry.” He paused, and looked at his current self’s sunglasses. He reached in, and wiped a tear away. His current self didn’t stop him.

“I’m sorry about what I put you through, because of this. But I needed you to experience this, so you don’t become like the rest of the bitter, depressed, alone, dead inside Daves. I don’t want you to turn out like them. I know you care about John, but I was trying to make sure you weren’t so attatched! And that wasn’t just for personal growth, but because I don’t want you to end up bitter and sad, or dead. I want you alive, and happy, and I want everything to go right for you, Dave. But I know that everything can’t just be perfect, because you’re a Dave, and paradox space has it out for us for some reason. So, I’m hoping this is enough. That this is the only tough thing you have to deal with, so that you don’t have to deal with all the other shit us Daves go through.” They stood there silently, and Future Dave spoke again. “I want you to be happy.” He said, and looked at him seriously. “If Vriska calculated things right, after all of this, you won’t have to worry about the universe screwing you over.” He added, and sighed. “At least, I hope. You’ve been through enough. Not nearly anything compared to the other Daves, but enough. I want at least one of us to have a happy timeline out there. Even if you have to cry a little first.” He added, and wiped under Dave’s eye again. The two were quiet for a little, and only the various sounds of far off nakodiles and popping lava (and an imminent ticking noise) sounded throughout the plane. Eventually, current Dave spoke.

“Why does paradox space have it out for us?” Future Dave shrugged, and wiped under his other eye.

“No idea, man. But hopefully, you won’t have to worry about it anymore, right?” He asked, and current Dave let out a long breath. He understood now, and didn’t need to feel as bad about John’s actions. The ultimate motive was to help him, and hearing it, like that, from future Dave, helped him a lot.

“Yeah, I guess.” Future Dave smirked.

“Right. Are you feeling better? Ready to go kick Lord English’s ass?” He asked, and Dave smirked.

“Well, I already signed up. I’d hate to disappoint. Plus, John’s going to need someone to save him from his unbreakable chains- and remind me, how am I breaking those?” He added, and Future Dave smirked.

“That’s what I want to show you. It may take your hoverboard some time to get here, so just ride on mine.” It came into existence beside him after a little time travelling, and his ishades made it float above the lava. Future Dave got on, and Current Dave sat beside him. The two made sure they could balance, and began to float away. Their commute took two minutes, and eventually, they arrived at some strange, metal area. There seemed to be a place where he could stand, and instead of the usual, grated flooring of Heat and Clockwork, this entire area seemed to be made of solid stone. It was black, and glossy- obsidian maybe. Current Dave’s eyes widened in surprise beneath his sunglasses, and he dismounted onto the strange area immediately. He kept his face stoic, but his brain sparked with unaltered curiosity.

“What is this?” They sat at the entryway above the lava.  Dave walked forward on the obvious pathway, jumping over lava in a few places, and metal pilliars rose up from the lava and surrounded the obsidian walkway on either side of them. He strode forward, and Future Dave walked behind him, and smirked. The area’s constant ticking seemed to turn more musical, and the lava looked surprisingly calm around them. 

“Keep walking.” Was the advice his future self gave him, and he did. The two Daves surged forward, and immediately reached a stairway, and a pedestal. After looking back quickly for confirmation, Dave ascended the stairs, followed by his future self. He saw a white sword, imbedded in a pedestal, within the ground. He looked at it for three seconds, and turned around.

“Dude, seriously?” He asked, looking at the item. It was almost all the way out of the ground, and only the tip of the blade remained within the stone. The blade was awkwardly long, and stood almost at Dave’s height from the ground. Future Dave smirked.

“Come on, you know you want to.” It was completely white, like Excalibur. Now that he thought about it, the whole situation had a bit of a Zelda feel to it. But that would have meant that Dave, in his sweatshirt and skinny jeans, was the hero that pulled out the blade, and saved the world. And Dave already knew, as he stood next to that gleaming, white sword in the black stone, that wasn’t him. He wasn’t some pure of heart, maiden saving, bullshit hero. He hadn’t helped enough people to call himself that, and Dave knew that ‘heroes’ like Link died multiple times in their journeys. He thought of all the dead Daves, in all the timelines, in the world. They were the countless lives that video game characters lost, and all of them probably had their own magical, bullshit, time sword. He wasn’t like them. He wasn’t going to be like them, and die as some sort of hero. After all, he was only seventeen. He had a lot more life to live after this, and refused to let its climax be pulling some bullshit sword out of a bullshit stone.

“This is the only thing that can break John’s chains, right?” Dave asked, and Future Dave nodded.

“Yeah. It’s welsh- it breaks cherub things.” He responded, and Dave smirked. The sword was long enough where it would have been comfortable to wield three fourths of what stuck out of the ground, or less. Dave didn’t even want a sword as long as what he assumed was in the ground. He’d been working on his time- teleporting thing lately, and with some concentration, he made his current, personal, shitty sword from five minutes in the past appear in front of him. Clearly, he needed the sword in the stone, but there was no way that he was going to be like the countless other Daves with their Excalibur blades and chivalrous deaths.

“Cool. You know,” He paused, looking at the pillars around him, and smirked. One was in the perfect position for what he was planning. “All that hero shit sounds like bullshit. Coming out of battles all clean with shining blades and hot babes or whatever sounds totally unrealistic.” He added, and turned to the future version of himself. “I say fuck that. You know what a real hero probably has?” He asked, and propelled himself forward, jumping over the surrounding lava.

He latched onto a pillar, and was suddenly glad that his older brother told him physics stories to soothe him to sleep as a child, and not regular ones. Instantly, he estimated how far down on the pillar he needed to hit, and smirked. Dave struck it with his sword, and the metal pillar predictably broke in two. It fell, and went in such a direction that it hit the sword in the pedestal. Now, Dave wasn’t sure what future Dave expected, but it probably wasn’t what he did- because Dave hit the sword, and immediately, it snapped. He jumped down as the pillar made contact with the structure, and somersaulted in the midair. Dave grabbed the handle and remaining length of the sword, and landed on his feet, then descended the stairway. It was the perfect length for him now, and instead of a ridiculously long sword that would be too awkward in Dave’s hands for him to weild, he had a flat-ended weapon that seemed to fit him.

“I say they’d probably have a broken sword.” He finished, and Future Dave looked pleasantly surprised, and raised his eyebrows.

“You didn’t even try to pull it out.” He observed, and Dave shrugged.

“It looked like hero bullshit 101, and I’ve already heard about enough dead Daves and know enough mythology to know- heroes have the shittiest lives. So, no offense, but fuck that. This will work, right?” He asked, and Future Dave couldn’t keep the smirk (that was quickly becoming a smile) off his face.

“Yeah. This will work. Ready to go? Once we get back there, we’re going to start.” He said, and Dave eyed the broken blade in his hand, along with his old one.

“Fuck yes. Let’s do this.” He said, and in an instant, the two disappeared, and headed to their battle stations. Finally, they were ready to fight.

______________--

AN: THIS WAS SO FUN OH MY GOODNESS. And yeah, this whole thing was inspired from the legend of Zelda and when Dave broke his sword in half in canon because he’s not the hero or whatever and it was so good. Anyway, if you want a visual for that last scene, picture, like, the last room of any of the skyward sword temples but with Lava and more pilliars and a sword instead of a goddess statue. Or, just picture the actual place from LoH.a.C. in canon.

JAFNF Chpater 146

(Saturday, July 18)

( Home Base: Everyone)

When they returned to their “base” a few minutes in the future, Dave noticed a few changes. First, everyone was in groups, and reviewing information, or making a strategy. Another change was the presence of the void windows. John’s family room felt more crowded than before, and Dave realized that everyone had a weapon or two with them too, except for Equius and Sollux. In addition, Sollux seemed to have access to live footage from each of the windows, and was currently in the process of connecting said footage to John’s TV. The live footage was good, because Nepeta would be managing their fights and sending Jane where she’d be needed. First aid kits seemed to have appeared since their disappearance, and Davepeta was there now as well. Future Dave nodded to himself.

“Everything’s looking good. Good luck out there with saving John, Dave.” he said, and Dave smirked.

“Yeah, good luck fighting Jack, or whatever.” They parted, and Future Dave went to Vriska’s side, while Dave walked over to his older brother. He stood next to Roxy and Jake, who were both reviewing their route to rescue Jane. Thirty minutes of individual strategy time passed, and Vriska spoke up.

“Hey, everyone?” She called, drawing their attention. They all turned to her, and she looked at them. “You guys ready to start phase one? Once Jane gets over here, we can get in position.” She added, and Roxy, Jake, and Dirk all asserted that they were. “No more questions. You guys are great, give this fight everything you’ve got. And thanks for, you know, helping out.” She said, and various forms of ‘you’re welcome’ echoed throughout the group. Roxy looked at a portal, and smirked.

“Let’s go, guys. Jake, gravity’s going to flip- be ready for it.” She added, and he swatted her.

“I’ve got it, Roxy. Let’s go save Jane!”  He grinned, and the three hopped in Roxy’s portal directly after each other. Sollux, who had a layout of the area on his computer, also had his headset connected to Dirk’s shades. He served as their guide as they landed in “Derse”, Jane’s prison. Roxy landed on her feet, then moved to the side so Jake could come in. Jake felt gravity switch and twisted himself, as Roxy recommended previously, but he still ended up falling on the purple ground. Dirk landed perfectly, and his sunglasses stayed on his face too. There may have been a bit of flash stepping involved in that, but it only served to make him look cooler.

The three adults looked at the strange landscape around them. Everything, for some reason, was purple. Dirk looked around, and did a quick, silent analysis of the material around them. The bricks in Derse were solid, and almost hollow. The entire planet seemed to luminate itself, without the presence of some form of sunlight. Surprisingly, it wasn’t very cold, which was weird. Then again, they were in a dream bubble, so weird seemed to be okay. Dirk tapped the side of his glasses.

“Sollux, you there?” He asked, and sollux spoke into the microphone.

“Yeah. Tell sweaty asshole over here to move over. He’s worried I’ll ear mic you to your deaths.” He said, and Dirk raised an eyebrow.

“Don’t worry Equius, we’ll be fine.” He said, and Sollux repeated the message to the teenager, then muffled the mic. He spoke up again.

“Thank you guys, for finally making him leave. Gob. Anyway, you guys ready to go?” Jake spoke then.

“No. First, before we go rescue Jane, I think I should say something. I’m absolutely honored to be working with my best friend and my boyfriend, even in such gobsmacking times. I realize that the situation is dim, but…” His words continued, and Dirk began to tune him out. His eyes slid down to his boyfriend’s hands, which were situated on his hips, over his guns.

And below said guns was Jake’s butt- bouncy and globular, and seemingly twisted for his enjoyment. They benefitted from the lighting too, and Dirk realized that this was too good of an opportunity for him to miss. He knew sollux was only in his glasses audibly, and realized he could record a silent video of the man, while still looking like he was paying attention. Dirk’s grip on his sword loosened, and he began recording. It was Jake’s own fault,really. He swayed his hips just enough when he talked, and wore shorts that were way too tight. He was such a tease sometimes, really. Those tight, small “hunting” shorts he wore just barely covered the ends of his butt, then it was pleasantly hairy, distinctly masculine skin that followed. Oh, if only he could get under those shorts, and see the rest of that beautiful skin, and-

“Dirk! For the love of gravy, stop staring for once!” Dirk raised an eyebrow at him, but didn’t finish filming. His butt moved when he talked to him.

“Staring? I was paying attention to your speech.” He lied, and Jake raised an eyebrow.

“Then what did I just say?” Roxy watched the interaction curiously, and Dirk rolled his eyes.

“And more than anything, I’m happy that we’re all close, and friends, so that even in the face of darkness, we’ll always be a light to the world. Then, you paused, moved, and told me to stop stairing.” Jake looked surprised.

“Oh. I suppose you weren’t then.” Dirk crossed his arms.

“Of course I wasn’t. Honestly, I’m offended that you even-”

“Wow, new file saved to Jake’s butt, folder two. Nice collection here, Mr. Strider.” Came Sollux’s voice from his glasses, and Dirk’s eyes widened, while Roxy burst out laughing.

“Dirk!” Jake cried, scandalized, and Roxy couldn’t help her laughter.

“Nice one Sollux!” She said, and grinned at Dirk. “Dude, folder two?” Jake folded his hands.

“Well, I never!” He cried, and Dirk felt himself actually get embarrassed. So, Sollux hacked him in the time it took to have a conversation, and exposed him. Great. Roxy smirked at him, and put a hand over her mouth.

“Send me that.” She whispered, and Jake looked even more scandalized, especially when Dirk smirked and nodded.

“Great gazdooks, Roxy! In all my years, I have never-”

“Excuse me.” Came a different voice, from Dirk’s glasses. It wasn’t Sollux. Roxy stopped laughing in surprise, and Dirk’s eyebrows rose. “This is Equius speaking. Vriska has informed me that this mission is rather… time sensitive, and it would benefit you all to move forward.” He said, and his voice changed tones. “I deeply apologize for disturbing you, but it may be beneficial to send such… lewd… videos at a later date, and move forward.” Jake sighed upon hearing this, and nodded.

“Of course, Equius. Thank you for being focused. I’ll talk to you two later. Sollux, where should we go?”

“Go forward first, then left.” He guided, and they did. Eventually, then ended up within Jane’s prison, of sorts, and they snuck up behind her in her cell. Roxy and Jake saw her, and both had tears in their eyes, so they passed Dirk the cloth they’d use to make her pass out. In an instant, he flash stepped through the bars. Jane, with Crockercorp’s mind controlling tiara on, turned in surprise. She was about to call for help when Dirk put a cloth over her mouth, and she immediately fell unconsious. From then on, it was easy for Roxy to hack open the cell, and they pulled her out, closed the door, and made their exit.

The group quickly made their way back to their entrance point, and Roxy carried Jane through their hidden window portal, then landed safely at home base. Equius and Sollux sprung into action immediately, and Roxy gripped Jane’s hand as they began to work and get the tiara off. Dirk and Jake talked to each other quietly, and he scolded him for having such a large number of pictures of his butt. Karkat pulled Jade away from strategy for a little while as well, and the two teased each other for a few minutes, then spoke seriously. They all knew what they were getting into, and while they could try to communicate throughout their fights, all of them knew it would be hard.

“I think it would be safe to remove it now.” Came Equius’ voice, and he spoke quietly to Sollux. The red lines that juxtaposed Jane’s eyes were gone, and when they opened her eyelids, they learned that her eyes were white and blue again, not black and red. The mind controlling tiara was really an intricate instrument, and Equius would have loved to study it more, if he had the time.

“You sure? We actually can’t fuck this up.” Came Sollux’s lisped reply, and Equius raised an eyebrow at him.

“You said the programming was down. I’ve checked, and it seems to have stopped sending her neurotic impulses. It seems safe enough, and if Vriska’s staring is to be an indicant, I believe we’re running out of time. Besides, she’ll wake up soon, with or without the tiara, and there is a chance that it could connect to her brain again if she does. I believe it would be best to remove it now, Solllux.” The teenager crossed his arms, and looked down at Jane.

“If you’re sure… you do it, meat hands.” He said, and Equius frowned.

“All hands are made of meat- it is called flesh. But if you’re feeling so much tredipitation that you can’t conjure a proper insult, perhaps it would be better for you to remove it when you’re comfortable, Sollux.”

“Hey, watch it asshole. I can break into your life if I want to. And if you’re so sure about it you do it.” Equius began to sweat.

“No, I insist that you do it.”

“You insist nothing. If you’re sure, just do it!”

“Are you not sure?”

“I-” Nepeta broke in.

“Geez, you guys are scaredy cats. I’ll do it.” She announced, and the petite girl removed the tiara from Jane’s head, ignoring Sollux and Equius’ cries of protest. They sat there for a moment, and nothing seemed to be wrong. Vriska realized that she didn’t turn it into dust, and decided it was a sign.

“Thank you, Nepeta. She’s the MVP of the pre end of the world here, I swear. Guys, Jane will be up soon! Get in your positions, say goodbye, or whatever. Sollux and Equius, good job.” She announced, and the various groups of fighters all proceed to get ready. Hugs and kisses were given, and people jumped in portals. Sollux and Equius both looked at each other awkwardly, and scooted apart. Equius glanced at Sollux.

“Well done.” He said, and Sollux’s awkward glare softened.

“You two.” He said, and looked to the side. “You know I’m never working with you again.” He added, and Equius crossed his arms.

“Trust me, the feeling is more than mutual.” Nepeta dashed away from the two boys, and caught Tavros. He was ready to fall in the window and help rescue John, but he smiled awkwardly when he saw Nepeta.

“H-Hey.” He said, and Nepeta gave him a half smile.

“Hi. Stay safe. I’ll know if, um, you need Jane.” She purposely changed her words, and Tavros looked at her.

“Don’t worry, I’ll be okay. I’ll, um, see you when this is over.”  He said, and she gripped his hand.

“You purromise?” She asked, and he swallowed. Her green eyes met his brown ones, and he nodded.

“Promise. I’ll be okay. You stay okay too, in case Gamzee attacks you.” Nepeta looked at him.

“Don’t worry about that- you said he’s really nice. I think Vriskers just wanted someone to be here with Sollux, since he’s so bipolar all the time.” She said, and Tavros let out a little laugh.

“Ha, yeah. Well, um…” His voice trailed off, and he gave her a little smile. “S-See you later?” He offered, and Nepeta grinned, then pounce hugged him.

“See you later!” Tavros caught her, and they didn’t part until Tavros’ face started burning, and Nepeta let go. He walked off towards his group, where he, Dave, Meenah and Vriska prepared to leave. Roxy squeezed the sleeping Jane’s hand, and promised her best friend that she’d be back for her. Jade pouted at Dirk and Alternate Future Dave. She’d been trying to diffuse at least some of the situation nonviolently, and while Dirk was ready to listen, Dave seemed adamantly against it. Jade had her gun at her side, and while she couldn’t become a werewolf, she was more than ready to kick butt. Besides, the goal was to incapacitate Jack, not kill him, and Jade was more than ready to do that. Jake and Karkat talked quietly, and Karkat already promised that he’d take out Clover, supposedly the hardest one to beat, since Jake had more experience fighting large groups. One by one, they all entered their various portals, and prepared for battle.

_________-

(RESCUE: John, Dave, Meenah, Tavros, Vriska and Lord ENGLISH)

John’s chest heaved. He didn’t know the day or time, but knew that he’d been suspended from the ground for far too long. He’d lost feeling in his hands days ago, and felt terrible. Caliborn had tried different methods of torture, and after he still refused to talk with the waterboarding and electric shocks (not at the same time), Caliborn moved him back to the whip and chains. He wasn’t sure when his friends would come for him, but they’d arrive soon, he was sure. He hadn’t eaten or slept (unless you counted passing out) in the time since Lord English learned his true intentions, and the results were disasterious on John’s physique. His clothes were as torn as his skin, and he knew that he probably wasn’t recognizable. John could only hope that it would be over soon. Of course, John refused to tell Lord English the little that he knew about Vriska and Future Dave’s plans, and it only served to make his torture worse, but John didn’t care. His friends and family were counting on him now, and even as whips hit something barely passable as skin, John knew it was worth it. He would distract Lord English until it was time for his friends to move out, even if it meant that his life was misery. Caliborn fed from him constantly, and John felt the drain on his blood signature.

Mid hit, Caliborn paused. He frowned, and looked at John menacingly.

“There’s been a disturbance. I’ll be back for you soon, whelp.” Caliborn disappeared, and John couldn’t physically react to his words. His head sank low, and he missed the small presence of a window in the corner of the area. However, he didn’t miss the sound of feet landing on the floor. The steps were quiet, but there were multiple pairs. John’s neck didn’t have the stamina to hold his head upright, but he listened carefully anyway.  Then, he heard it.

“John?” He couldn’t tell if the sound came from sleepless delirium or was actually present in the room, but he recognized it. It was the voice, the person he’d been dreaming of, been waiting for. John answered, shakily and quietly.

“D-Dave?” His mouth was able to question, and he heard quick footsteps. They came towards him, and John knew. It was him- he was here.

“John!” Despite the clear instructions he’d received to keep quiet, he couldn’t help himself. Dave was at John’s side in an instant, and his welsh sword sliced through John’s chains like butter. Tavros came in then, and as John fell into Dave’s arms, Meenah helped carry him. If tears leaked from Dave’s eyes at the sight of his best friend, he wouldn’t have noticed. The instant he was in Dave’s arms, after days of trauma and stress, he fell unconscious. John was bleeding everywhere, and the shards of his broken glasses sat in his arms. But it didn’t matter. Finally, John was safe.

They all went back through the portal then, and set John down safely on the other side. Nepeta’s eyes widened at John’s current state, and she realized that Jane still wasn’t awake. After communicating the problem to Vriska, she instructed her to attempt to wake Jane up, and to Dave’s relief, she woke up quickly.  After an extremely short explanation from Vriska, Jane healed John’s multiple injuries, and promptly fell back asleep. Using magic after being mind controlled for so long probably meant that Jane had some resting and relaxing to do before they jumped into battle. With that in mind, Vriska got a message out to everyone via Sollux.

She instructed them all that they would wait, at least for a little, before they started. They wanted to have their healer up and ready before they started fighting, and Lord English didn’t know about them yet anyway. Dave knelt by the sleeping John, worry burning in his chest, but his face ironically blank. Equius assured him that John would be up soon, and that even with Jane’s healing, sleep was recommended for the boy. Dave heard this but stayed beside him anyway, and quietly discussed strategy with Vriska, Tavros, Davepeta and Meenah as he did so.

Vriska sat atop a moderately sized treasure chest, and she promised that this was what they’d use to finish Lord English, and prevent him from returning. Unfortunately, they had to weaken him significantly before it would work, so their fighting would clearly include a lot of sword combat. Luckily, they had a plan of sorts, and everyone would try their best to be helpful, and not die.

Sollux’s uncharacteristically sharp gasp set them off. He was the one who viewed the screens now, and what he saw, from Caliborn’s battle area, was enough to frighten him. Everyone’s gazes turned towards him, and he made eye contact with Vriska.

“He blew up the building?” She asked, and Sollux nodded in confirmation. He knew, then. John was gone- it was time to fight. “Let’s go.” Vriska said, and Dave took one final look at the sleeping John, then nodded. They needed to go fight, now. Vriska  spoke into her hand watch, and talked to the rest of the fighting groups. “You guys can start as soon as your targets get there! Good luck- Vriska, out.” She proceeded to hop in the window portal then, with her treasure trunk in tow, and Dave, Tavros, Davepeta, and Meenah followed immediately. When they reached the other side, they found that the location was vastly different than mere minutes ago. The dark torture room they sat in before was reduced to rubble, and now empty sand and a black sky- space, maybe, was all that surrounded them. Lord English stood there, and recognized Dave, who held his broken, white blade readily. He seemed to register, then promptly ignore his other foes, and focus on Dave. His anger was clear, but his voice was unselttlingly calm.

“Strider, this is the last time you take him away from me. Once I kill you, I’ll take him back. And then, it won’t matter how much he loves you. John will be mine.” He said, threateningly, and Dave just eased into a stance before responding.

“Hey, Caliborn. I said it before, and I’ll say it now- you fucked with my best friend. You’re dead, man.” Caliborn raised an eyebrow at him, casually.

“Oh, really? Would you like to explain how, considering that your weapons can’t hurt me?” He asked, and Dave was about to open his mouth before his eyebrows fell, and his gaze hardened.

“What? Dude, fuck no. We’re going to kick your ass, not explain our strategy for ten minutes. How dumb do you think I am?” He asked, and Caliborn grinned.

“Pretty dumb. After all- you’re going against this.” Before Dave could think, his mouth opened, and he shot a laser from it. Dave barely dodged, and took a breath. This was going to be a hard fight.

_________-

(FIGHT: Jade, Dirk, Dave, Jack Noir

They spotted Jack just under a mile from their window port. Future Dave, Jade, and Dirk trudged along for a few minutes as they searched for their target, who was currently yelling angrily into his phone. Jade helped considerably, by teleporting them near the right direction. They still weren’t close enough for Jack to notice them. Though, Jade suspected that the fact alone was largely due to the fact that Jack was a little preoccupied with something else- ie, the angry cellphone screaming. It seemed that he’d gotten John’s location wrong, and now he was somewhere within dream space. The actual location didn’t really matter, but Jade couldn’t help but note the strange flora in their surrounding area. It was well forested, but there were a few crumbled structures of some sort. Jade poked her head out from behind a wall, her werewolf ears twitching so that she could hear him better.

“I don’t have time to map the wastelands of paradox space. He was supposed to be in this bubble!” He called angrily, and sighed. “But how am I supposed to know where- I want to take this guy out! I cut off his source, and he’d dead. All I need is to get the kid.” He went quiet. “You don’t think I tried that, idiot? English has got some time bubble voodoo around him. I’m not getting in there by teleporting. And I don’t know where to find a reliable void that’ll tell me where to go.” Jade turned back to the two (kind of) brothers behind her.

“Hey! He’s over there. Maybe we can just talk him out of searching for John!” She called quietly, and Dave looked to the side.

“Don’t hold your breath. I think we should just surprise him.”

“No way!” She responded, and frowned. “If we do that, we know for sure he’ll fight us.”

“We already know he’ll fight us.” Dave countered, and Dirk sighed.

“Let’s just try with what Jade said. New timeline, right?” He asked, and Dave frowned. He eventually consented, and Jade walked out from behind where she hid, while the two Striders stayed out of sight. They watched her, carefully waiting for any signs of aggression. Jade smiled politely as she saw Jack, and coughed.

“Hello?” She called, and Jack looked up from his phone. He saw her, and assuming she was a ghost, sighed and frowned.

“Give me a sec, Clubs. Gotta deal with something.” He looked up, and made it clear that he didn’t appreciate being disturbed. “What’cha want, doll? I’m on an important-” His voice broke, and he recognized her. “Call…” His voice trailed off, and he looked shocked. Shocked, and guilty. Dave stole a glance at his (kind of) older brother behind his shades, and the man watched the scene intently. “It’s you.” He said, and Jade looked to the side. She still kept her polite smile up, even though she remembered- this was the werewolf that bit her. “I- are you a ghost or something? Did I come in your bubble?” He asked, and Jade shook her head.

“No. I don’t know where we are. But you know me.” She said, and he looked down.

“I- I know you. I bit you years ago. I looked like-” he paused, and transformed into a wolf. Jade stared at him, and his wolfish eyes seemed glued to her leg, where he’d bitten her, years ago.

“You bit me.” She said, and he transformed back into a person.

“I know. I know I did, and I’ve never, ever regretted something more. Good gog doll, I’m- I’m so sorry. I tried commin back to that island, after you shot me. She was there though, I couldn’t be seen. I always wondered about ya- I’ve never been guiltier over anything. I’m so sorry, doll.” Jade frowned.

“But, there are thousands of werewolves in the world.” She said, and he sighed.

“Yeah. But I bit you- you coulda become… well, this.” He transformed fully then, doing his werewolf head and half furry human body, along with his gigantic wingspan. Black tentacles came out of various pockets of skin.“A monster.” He said it quietly, and it came out warped through his wolf teeth, but Jade still understood. “Look. You already transform parts of yourself as a human. It’s not natural- I must have hurt you bad. I can’t believe I did that to you. I’m sorry, doll.” He’d fallen to his knees in his guilt, and his voice sounded ashamed. Jade walked towards him, and put a hand on the horrifying figure’s head. His snout faced the ground. “I didn’t even learn your name.” He said, and Jade, to his surprise, offered him a smile.

“I’m Jade- and it’s okay.” She said, running a hand behind his ears. “I forgive you.” She added, and he looked up at her. Even as a half wolfish monster, the gratitude was still clear on his face. Jack’s wings drooped. Suddenly, he looked up at her, determined.

“Now that Green’s out of the way, I promise- long as I’m out here, no one’s laying a finger on you, girlie. I’ll keep you safe from hunters, monsters, or whatever. I’ll be here for you.” He said, and Jade beamed at him.

“Really?” She asked, and he stood to his feet.

“Honest. No one’s getting by-” He paused, and frowned. “Hey, how are you here?” He asked, and Jade looked up at him, nervously.

“Oh! Well, funny thing about that, really-”

“Exactly where I was. With two people behind you.” He added, and looked down at Jade. “How did you find me here?” He questioned suddenly, and Jade looked up at him nervously.

“Actually, I wanted to talk to you.” She said, and he frowned.

“Who’s with you?” He asked, and looked down at her accusingly. “How’d you get here? And the target’s not here. Is this a trap?” He questioned, and Jade’s eyes widened.

“What? No! We just wanted you to not kill John, and-”

“Spy!” He shouted, and backed up. Jade put a hand out towards him. “That’s why I’ve been getting the wrong information- were you planning on using it against me?”

“No! No, Jack, I’m just here to-” She saw him grip his blade, and before she could process things, Dave was in front of her with his blade. He’d flash stepped in to kill Jack, but Jade thought faster and teleported Jack away from the sword.

“Hey, what the fuck?” Dave exclaimed, and Jack felt his arm tighten around his sword.

“You saved me.” He said it to Jade, like he couldn’t believe it.  His eyes turned to Dave.“You’re the enemy, and she’s trying to hold you back.” He realized, and Jade’s eyes widened. Jade didn’t want him to think of it like that, even if it was kind of true.

“No! Dave, put your sword down, he’s fine!” She said, but he risked a glance back at her, before deftlty shaking his head.

“No can do Harley. We tried-” And in an instant, Jack swung. Jade jumped out of the way, and Dirk immediately jumped into the fray of battle. Jack tried teleporting away, but Dave time travelled back just as easily, and almost landed a hit. Her gun wouldn’t even be useful from this range, which meant that she was pretty much stuck on the sidelines of this battle. None of them were listening to her protests anymore, and she knew that now, the two sides were in for a battle. Jade just hoped she’d figure something out soon.

_________________--

AN: Hey, there’s the end! In case you guys are wondering, this is pretty much the JAFNF version of collide that’s about to go down, so buckle up- we’re in for a cool series of fights, and I’ll be jumping back and forth between various battles next chapter.

JAFNF Chapter 147   
(Saturday, July 18)   
((Home Base: John, Jane, Sollux, and Nepeta))   
John woke up slowly. His eyes opened, and he felt tired- the kind people only felt when they overslept. In truth, he hadn’t. After the physical strain his body endured for days, even with magical healing, sleeping for well over twenty four hours was expected. Of course, he didn’t sleep for that long- Jane worked hard to heal her son’s body. Still, he’d rested for twenty minutes now, and in the chaos of battle, it could have been the equivalent of an eternity. When he did finally sit up, he noticed an excited girl, and she called something- his name. He remembered Dave first, then said his name before registering that no, it was Nepeta in front of him. His senses began to come in fully them and he could feel the soft, pliable material of the couch and the places where the decimated shards of his clothing clung to his newly healed skin.   
“Sollux, he’s up!” She announced, and John herd a lisped voice respond. John put a hand to his head, and felt around for his glasses. Then, he remembered- those were broken. He frowned, then turned to Nepeta and Sollux.   
“Hi.” He said, his voice awkwardly high, and Nepeta practically pounced on him in response.    
“Morning sleepyhead! Oh, Mrs. Crocker, he’s up!” She announced, and Jane practically floated over to him, oven mitts covering her hands.    
“John! Hoo, it sure is dandy to see you awake!” John rubbed his head, the people around him not coming into as much focus as he’d like.    
“Hi mom. Why- what’s going on? Where’s Dave- and Lord English. How are you out? Caliborn told me that you were mind controlled, and… are you baking?” He questioned, and she smiled at him.    
“Everything’s fine. Dave’s fighting Lord English right now, in the edges of the dream bubbles. Roxy, Jake, and Dirk kidnapped me, then two boys unprogrammed the mind control out of me, those little geniuses. And, I’m sure someone’s going to want a snack sooner or later.” She explained, and Nepeta grinned, while Sollux watched the screens carefully. They switched often, and if anyone needed healing or resurrection, Jane could rush over and help. John rubbed his eyes, then frowned at her words.   
“Wait, Dave’s fighting Lord English?” He asked, and panic rose in John’s chest. “Right now? What if he gets hurt?!” He questioned, and Jane chuckled.   
“He’ll be fine.” John shifted uncomfortably. He realized that his body was healed from Lord English’s torture. His mind flashed with images of that time, and John stood up suddenly.   
“I have to go help him!” He said, and this time, Jane put a hand on his wrist.   
“Oh no you don’t. Your glasses are broken, and you just got up. Besides, we’re all under strict guidelines from alternate Dave- we’re not letting you anywhere near that fight, John. It’s supposed to be bad, and it would be even worse if you can’t see properly.” John groaned, but heard the logic in her words.    
“But I can’t just sit here- I’m a hunter, we’re trained to fight bad guys like this!” Sollux spoke up.   
“I don’t really care, but Vriska said you could help fight Betty Crocker.” He said, and John’s eyes widened. Jane broke in.    
“But not without glasses!” John immediately flew towards his upstairs, and scoured his room. It took him all of one minute, but even that was too long for John to wait. He found what he was looking for- the second, identical pair of glasses that came with his subscription. He immediately put them on his face, then grabbed  his hammer, Zillyhoo. The boy put on a different shirt, and less ripped pants, then appeared at his mother’s side.   
“Mom, is this okay?” He asked, and she frowned.    
“You really ought to iron it before you leave-”   
“Mom!” He said, urgently. “I gotta go help, please?” He asked, and she sighed.    
“Fine, but don’t let me catch you dying now, John. I already brought you back once, and you know I may not be able to do it again.” She kissed him on the forehead, and felt a spark of energy flow through him. He gripped and lengthened his war hammer.   
“I’ll be fine!” She shoved a cookie in his hand.    
“I know. You’re good at fighting, from what I’ve been told. Still take this in case you get hungry, or hurt. And don’t forget to tie your shoes!” John rolled his eyes, but complied.    
“There. I’ll take the cookie, thanks. Bye!” He said, and flew over to Sollux. “Which portal?” He questioned, and he pointed at one. John grinned. “Thanks, bye!” He called again, and jumped inside. He already knew how these portals worked, thanks to Vriska, and was more than ready to travel through.  Nepeta sat blissfully after overhearing the conversation, and hovered over Sollux’s shoulder, until she frowned.   
“Wait, Mrs. Crocker? You said you may be able to revive John again?” She blinked, but nodded.   
“Technically, Yes?” She asked, and she shared a look with Sollux.   
“That’s… nyat what Dave said.” She vocalized, and Jane shrugged.   
“I’m sure it’s nothing to get your knickers in a twist about. I can, with this ring of mine, but I may die if I take it off, according to Lord English. Call me nancy, but I was too scared to try. It’s definitely not a good risk- so encouraging everyone not to die too many times is nice. Plus, I only have one of these.” She said, and Nepeta nodded. That made sense, she decided, and without regret, she looked back down at the screen.   
_______________-   
((FIGHT: Jake and Karkat vs the Felt))   
“Go!” Jake called to Karkat, and he immediately dashed to the side. He tackled the shortest of their numerous foes, and was prepared to slice him with his normal sickles. Then, somehow, the blade that should have gone into the leprechaun missed. Karkat, confused, attempted to hit the small leprechaun again, but he missed, once again. It turned into a series of cuts that never would have missed on a normal person, and as Clover hopped on his head and danced on it, Karkat started to realize why this particular enemy was so hard to beat.   
Jake, on the other hand, was having a little more luck. He shot, dodged, punched and hit wherever necessary. The group of leprechauns that surrounded him was moderately large, but that didn’t stop him from kicking one of them in the face and sending them to the ground. He smirked- maybe this would truly be an easy battle, and he could go help Dirk once he was done- and then, he heard it. The distinct sound of a kitchen timer sounded. It sounded like the sound was echoed backwards, if that even made sense, a thousand times. Suddenly, Jake’s group of thirteen foes became an army of a hundred, most of which were copies of two people. Jake swallowed, and the mass began to surround him. Maybe… maybe he’d have to hold off on checking up on Dirk after all.    
_____________-   
((FIGHT: Dirk, Jade, Alt/Future Dave vs Jack Noir))   
Dirk completed a backflip, then ran forwards. Jack, as Vriska predicted, was tough to fight. He was skilled in the art of swordplay, and he used it, along with his abilities, to be threatening. Dave sprinted towards Jack from behind, and both men attempted to hit him with the buts of their swords at the same time. However, Jack saw this and sidestepped, letting the two Striders run into each other. For brothers, they were terribly out of sync. It was probably just another difference between this timeline and the last, but still. Jade watched in frustration, until she had an idea. She attempted to teleport their weapons away, but it didn’t work. All of their swords returned via various methods the second she sent them away, and Jade suppressed a groan. That wasn’t what she wanted at all. No, she wanted them to just talk it out, but of course, that wasn’t happening. She attempted to run in and stop them, but Jack would always teleport her away before she could try to come between their weapons. Dave and Dirk officially refused to listen to her and stop fighting. Matters only worsened when a gigantic, green man crashed into their reality. Jade took the liberty of teleporting him away before he could cause a problem.    
She tried a lot of things. Making the sword denser didn’t help, and neither did trying to run in between them. Jade didn’t want them to fight, but they were dangerous.  Dirk and Dave weren’t coordinated enough to beat Jack, but Jack was too distracted with trying to keep Jade out of harm’s way to beat them. Her gun wouldn’t do anything in a fight that was this fast, and after learning about Jack, she didn’t want to hurt him. He was engaged, and clearly regretted biting her in the first place. Jade didn’t even blame him for it, after learning about the horrible conditions he’d been forced to endure. He was really only trying to kill John so he could stop what happened to him from happening to others, and Jade respected him for it. He just needed to know that they had a second option, but of course he didn’t, because future Dave jumped the gun and tried to fight him! Granted, Future Dave had probably experienced some things to make him so ready to keep her safe, but Jade just wished she could stop them.   
The hybrid growled at Dave, who prepared for another attack. Nothing any of them did made contact. This future Dave seemed to have a special hatred for Jack in his heart, and it showed in his fighting. His sword strokes were less controlled around him, and he seemed so determined that Jade knew he had a reason behind it. But, reason or not, Jade still didn’t want any of them getting hurt in the fight. The girl sighed, upset, and watched them fight on. It was metal against metal against welsh against space. She could only hope that she’d figure out how to stop them soon.   
_____________---   
(FIGHT: Dave, Vriska, Tavros, Meenah, and Davepeta, vs Lord English))   
While future Dave clashed swords with Jack, Current Dave avoided bullets. They were scattered all over the battle field, and they were shot at a variety of speeds, making it that much harder to dodge them. Dave sliced a slow one in half with his sword, then ducked under another. Tavros ran at Lord English, wielding a lance, and dodged a mouth laser. He moved towards him with surprising speed, and hit him once or twice, but they were hardly effective. Lord English ended up hitting him away, and Meenah used his injury as a chance to plan her attack. She stabbed him twice with her double sided, golden trident (fitting for the daughter of a siren), and backed up as he lunged towards her, then jumped atop her again. Davepeta, who remained in cloaking mode, sprung out of it as they choked Lord English, then promptly jumped off.    
Dave wanted to jump in and hit him. He knew they couldn’t do any real damage without his sword- it’s welsh properties were the equivalent of a time stop, which would give them an advantage. First, because it was welsh, it was super effective against cherubs, but the sword retained other properties as well. Because of its status as a welsh sword, it had the ability to time stop those it hit, which meant that Lord English wouldn’t be able to space/time travel back and heal wounds. Dave knew that they weren’t killing Lord English with just his sword by a long shot, but he also knew it would weaken him. So, why didn’t he spring into action? Well, he was stuck in place.   
***Dave accidentally landed on a trap. A green, pool-ball like circle appeared in the sand around him, and Dave found he couldn’t move, or time travel off. Vriska warned him about attacks like this earlier, and told him that they would wear off over time. Still, that meant he could only block attacks at this point, which was a vulnerable position to be in. Luckily, the rest of the group was more than willing to cover for him, and kept Caliborn’s incinerating skull’s canon away from him. Unfortunately, Caliborn still manipulated space around him, and forced a barrage of bullets in different speeds to come at him from different directions.    
It left Dave using his sword to slice them in half from various places, and turning constantly. He had fast reflexes, so none of them hit him yet, but it was still terrifying. Luckily, he had breaks where Caliborn couldn’t send more bullets, on account of being attacked by the others of his team, but they never lasted long. Dave sliced one bullet, then another, and tired to tear his feet away, but couldn’t do anything but block, for now.   
Meanwhile, the battle heated up. Davepeta went for the weird, skull eyes, and that seemed to temporarily wound Lord English, before he healed it back again. Their wings and claws were a deadly combination, and coupled with their regenerative properties, Davepeta was… well, a fighting machine. Meenah and Vriska weren’t bad either, but it was clear that Tavros wasn’t used to this level of fighting. He was still trying though, which was nice, and he served as a good distraction a few times by turning into his smaller, fairy form. In truth, Dave knew he couldn’t damage Lord English until he was out of this sand trap, which, for his team’s sake, he hoped the time would come soon.    
And, it did. Dave felt the pressure keeping him on the spot stop, and he sliced bullets in a wide spin, then ran away. Perfect. Dave ran in towards English, and was prepared to do some real damage. He had a rhythm in his head, and his feet followed it as he sidestepped, jumped, and swung at his pegged leg. Dave was glad he’d done those rigorous strifes with his brother now. They helped him be nimble, and agile, and that saved him from a variety of would-be horrible injuries. He slid under Lord English and attacked from the back, but Lord English’s skull turned backwards on his head, and he shot that death beam at him. Dave dodged the laser and ran back around the front, noticing Lord English stop firing from his mouth. Could he only do it for a certain amount of time? Dave tested the theory by moving similarly, but it was apparently unfounded.  With a groan and a shake of his head, Dave ran back into battle.   
_-----------________   
((FIGHT: Karkat, Jake, Felt))   
It shouldn’t have been a surprise that Jake was the first battle casualty. He was fighting alone, against an army. They were easy to beat, but somehow, he always missed the ones that travelled back in time. So when Crowbar shooting a gun directly in his chest killed him, Karkat saw, and his stomach turned.    
“Mr. English!” He cried out, tears in the corners of his eyes. Clover pulled out a gun in his moment of distraction, but Karkat managed to kick it away from him before he could shoot. The vampire was teary eyed, until Jane came in seconds later. She revived Jake and handed him a cookie, kissed him on the forehead, then stabbed a nearby felt member with a kitchen fork. The process took about twenty seconds total, and before Jane ducked out, she stabbed another two people, then jumped back in the window portal back to their base. Jake was on his feet the second his death wound healed, and he was ready to fight again. In the background behind them, Jack teleported away from Dirk, Dave and Jade to rest for a second, and went unnoticed by Lord English’s leprechauns. Jade attempted to teleport him back, but accidentally grabbed Eggs, one of the leprechauns, instead.  Dave stabbed him immediately anyway, and in an instant, almost all of the Eggs copies disappeared on Jake’s battlefield. None of them knew why it happened, but at least it made the fight more manageable.    
Jake continued fighting, but worked even harder than before. His kicks were all deadly enough to crush a human skull, and he shot his guns perfectly almost every time. The enemies pitted against him were manageable now, and he began to make a pile of his fallen foes. Meanwhile, Karkat still had immense trouble with Clover, who seemed to take special delight in dancing over his body. He felt tears cascade down his cheeks as the small green man beat him to the ground, again, and his frustration stretched on endlessly. All of his friends were doing immensely difficult fights, and here he was, being beaten by a small, green man who giggled at his defeat. Still, Karkat refused to just lay there, so he kicked off the ground and stood again, his sickles ready. This may not have been the hardest fight, but it was his, and he refused to lose.   
___________--   
((FIGHT: Kanaya, Rose, Roxy, Betty Crocker))   
Betty Crocker stood in her dream planet, Derse, and sneered. She’d personally checked up on the heiress minutes ago, only to find that said heiress was gone. After the girl, Roxy, she’d worked so hard to get escaped as well, Betty was unimaginably furious. So, when she saw the two teenagers and the gate girl herself, holding a sword, she grinned. Immediately, she transitioned into her half siren form- grey skin and a black wet suit with pink lines adorned her body, and jewelry was present all over her body. Her eyes glowed white, with pink mascara growing on her eyelashes naturally, and her hair grew longer than her actual height, then blew in an intimidating fashion in the wind. Her heels only added to her height, and held a gigantic trident. In all, she looked like the type of person that wouldn’t have a problem with killing a teenager or two. Their battle area was clear of citizens, and her sharp, white teeth glowed. They were fighting on her home turf, and she was ready to kick their asses for ruining her years of meticulous planning.   
She watched them glare, and knew- it was time to start. Rose launched herself forward and kicked her, which Betty blocked easily with her trident. Before falling again, she shot two blasts of magic, which had little effect. Roxy moved instantly to punch from behind her, while Kanaya ran with her chainsaw. Roxy jumped high in the air, surpassing Betty’s height. Impressive moves aside, Rose got in closer to shoot more magic, and within two seconds, Kanaya’s chainsaw connected with her body. She easily blocked it with her trident, but fell to one knee. That didn’t last for long, because immediately, Betty got up again. She dodged an attack, and all three females ran behind her, on a stairway.    
They repositioned, with Kanaya in the back and the Lalonde sisters in the front, then immediately Rose and Roxy went into punches and short magic blasts with the same effect. Betty blew them away with a firey blast and a spin of her trident, but of course, they just all tried to jump on her again. Betty broke them off, then hummed, giving her temporary control over their bodies. It was enough to slam them to the ground and deal some damage to her opponents, but apparently not enough, because they all just jumped up again. Betty did a quick sweep on the ground, then slid away from the three as they attacked. She shot blasts of power from her trident, and easily shot them backwards.   
It was then that Roxy started using the powers Betty Forced into her against her oppressor. She conjured a gigantic wizard statue, and Rose blinded Betty while it dropped on top of her. As they did this, Kanaya put on a new coat of lipstick, and made sure it didn’t smudge. Betty would have laughed if she wasn’t busy being hit. She quickly destroyed  the statue, and with a sigh, Kanaya put her lipstick away. It gave Rose enough time to prepare a barrage of magical attacks, and she sent them at Betty with unbridled fury and speed. Betty blocked them all, using her arms or trident, or a combination of both, then kicked Rose far away. Kanaya gasped in worry for her girlfriend, since the woman kicked her directly in the center of her chest and sent her flying backwards, along with shooting magic at her as well. At that speed, impact would have been terminal- even with the light bricks around them. She wanted to race to catch her, and Roxy couldn’t summon something far enough away to help. Rose closed her eyes, accepting that this would probably be her first death.   
And then, she found herself cushioned, and blown safely on the ground. Confused, she landed lightly, and Betty Crocker seemed perplexed for a minute as well. Then, John landed in front of Betty Crocker, and they understood. His blue T-shirt blew under him, and his hair tossed in the wind he’d created. Before Betty even had a chance to guess at his move set, he attacked.    
John was furiously (and maybe a little giddily) sending attacks at Betty Crocker. The air pressures changed so violently that Roxy felt her ears pop, but she knew that Betty was getting the worse end of the deal. John sent barrage after barrage of wind attacks, and each molecule felt like a punch to Betty’s face. She braced herself, her arms crossing over her head to stop herself from blowing backwards. John backed up after the first one and made a tornado at her height, then flew after it and hit her with his hammer while it blew in her face. She definitely felt the attack in her foot, where John concentrated his hammer blows, but she came back from it eventually. She tried stabbing him with her weapon, but he made a sphere of wind surround himself. Betty tried penetrating it, but couldn’t, and Roxy was about to move in, but Betty screamed a note just long enough to bring John floating in the air, then kick him back.   
At that point, Roxy and Kanaya were over their shock and ran in, but Betty forced them back with an all too practiced kick, then shot her laser eyes at them. Roxy, who saw it incinerate a daemon before, summoned a heavy cube atop both herself and Kanaya to redirect their fall out of the laser’s path, then destroyed the cube before it could crush the two girls. Rose and John came in immediately, along with Kanaya and Roxy. John fit so well into their formations that it was like he was there all along, which was nice. He didn’t even have to make eye contact with Rose to guess what she’d do next, then do something similar. Rose called down diagonal strings of magic to attack Betty, and John did the same in the opposite direction, but with wind. Kanaya glanced at the group combining their moves, and from the looks on John, Roxy, and Kanaya’s faces, they didn’t plan on stopping any time relatively soon. She pulled out a book, and divided her attention between her reading and their battle strategy.   
Roxy and Rose combined their abilities to make magic cubes, which surrounded Betty in a cubical formation, then turned into energy and attacked her. Rose and John sent especially painful, magic infused wind toward Betty Crocker, and it clearly hurt. She raised her hands to protect herself as Rose and Roxy went again, making the force of a punch appear out of nothing, along with Rose’s magic rays shooting everywhere. After the third consecutive attack, Betty was more than done.    
She hummed a little longer, and forced all four of them into the air, then jumped with them. The woman sent deadly eye ray after eye ray in either direction. John momentarily became wind and escaped, while Roxy turned into nothing. Rose and Kanaya twisted so that they could avoid damage, but it still hurt. Betty sent short blasts in either direction that burned but didn’t kill, and all four landed on the ground. Though John dodged the original attack, he needed time to get himself together, and Roxy ran in to face Betty, momentarily alone. The recently turned daemon punched and kicked with power, which had little effect on Betty, but she was far from done.    
Roxy sent a particularly powerful punch at the siren’s jaw, which she blocked with her arms, but it still sent Betty upwards. She moved away, slamming a bunch of hard cubes in the shape of a foot atop Betty’s head, and the hit brought her to her knees. Afterwards, she summoned more cubes in the shape of little drills, and sent them across Betty’s face and body. They came from random directions and hurt, but Roxy wasn’t done. She shot and bounced a pumpkin between two walls, and controlled more cubes in the shape of fists by mimicking the actions she wanted with her own. What she got were some solid punches, and a fast assault Betty could hardly block. When that got old, she summoned a horse, made out of cubes, and sent it charging at Betty. The three remaining people in the battle blinked in surprise and awe at her skill, and realized that she did all of this after receiving these abilities days ago, and still hadn’t used the sword at her side. She was the best fighter there, and they could see why.   
Betty turned from Roxy’s attack, then shot her laser directly at the three observers. John could fly away, but couldn’t summon wind to help the two in time, and watched, horrified, as she incinerated both wounded girls on the spot. They’d gripped each other’s hands as they died, and John’s eyes widened in horror as tears collected behind his glasses. Surprisingly, Roxy was able to keep a level head.   
“John! Focus!” She shouted, and he saw her and nodded- he couldn’t let himself get distracted, they would be fine. He ran over to Betty to distract her for a minute, and Jane came in behind her an resurrected both girls. She ran in and tapped John and Roxy on the shoulders, healing them both, then sprinted away to a window portal before Betty could stop her.  Things were absolute chaos now that two of the four died, and they all sent attacks at Betty at the same time. Betty shot at the two newly revived girls at one point, but Roxy sent a protective pyramid of cubes around them to keep the two safe.   
John held his hammer, and concentrated. Since he’d been doing all these combination moves, he wondered if the weird, not-quite time powers he’d received from that one future Dave would still work. The boy squeezed his hammer, and tried to feel that time jumping ‘zap’ feeling he felt whenever he tried to use them. Amazingly enough, something travelled through his hammer like lighting in response, and he quickly flew to hit Betty Crocker with it. The hammer made her stop moving, and none of them missed the opportunity. There were pumpkins, wind, magic, and cubes flying everywhere, along with some solid chainsaw action thanks to Kanaya.     
It was then that the gigantic, strong green leprechaun appeared. Jade accidentally sent him back to the wrong fight, and he ended up in the middle of their battle. John saw the randomly appearing giant and gripped his hammer. In that time, Betty’s spell wore off, and from Vriska’s notes, he knew that this one was a particularly powerful enemy. He remembered Vriska noting how he could literally punch things into next week, and a single hit from his fists could equal death. He roared, seemingly uncaring who he fought, and John backed up in terror. Thankfully, Roxy dropped a giant cube on him, but that just seemed to annoy him. It definitely didn’t do the damage all of them expected, and John backed up with terror, until Equius came in. He finally decided where he wanted to fight, and it was here, now that the gigantic, muscled brute was present. Equius had experience with fighting people like this, and even without magic at his disposal, he was easily one of the strongest people in their group. He led him a little farther away from the battle, and John was grateful. After all, Betty Crocker was getting up, and fighting both of them would have almost ensured death.   
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((FIGHT: Equius, Dad vs Boxcars, Cans))   
While Equius bobbed and weaved backwards, avoiding the punches of the giant leprechaun (Cans, Vriska had nicknamed him), he started to realize that he needed to be offensive too. Of course, he wanted to get farther away from the fight with Betty Crocker, because he remembered future Dave’s rules- fighting close together would cause all of them to lose. So, eventually, he got far enough away to actually start punching back. Equius was trained in both boxing, kickboxing, and mixed martial arts, which helped him tremendously in the fight. He moved from a dodge to running and punching forward, and ended up knocking Cans off his balance, a little. That was enough for the Leprachaun to stumble backwards and fall into a purple building of some sort. Surprised at the lack of damage he inflicted, Equius closed his fists. He was going to have to find another way to beat the man.    
Directly above Equius’ fight, Jacob heard the sound of cracking brick. By now, the cell was filled to the brim with baked goods, since people had given him access to baking all the Betty Crocker he could have ever dreamed of. The man stress baked, and he’d been under a lot of stress in prison. He’d been giving the food to his butler to delve out to others, but he still had quite a few pastries on hand. Jacob looked out of his jail room in surprise, and his mouth fell open at the fight that happened underneath him. A strong, sweaty teenager faced off against a gigantic green thing. He looked to his butler, and asked what was going on. Through various pictures and motions the butler explained, and Jacob’s hands gripped the window. He needed to help that child, but didn’t know how. The man saw the cracked brick of the wall, and remembered how easily it broke. He held a fist in his hand, and looked at it. Maybe, it would work. But if this didn’t, his hand would probably hurt a lot. Then again, he’d broken through boards before. This couldn’t be much harder. He held one of the cakes he’d ordered for nourishment (and studying baking techniques, in his boredom) and held it in one hand. He looked at the butler behind him, and hoped he wouldn’t judge as he stuck his hand inside. Immediately, he stood in a fighting stance, and angled his fist towards the wall. He jumped and punched without hesitation, and was surprised when the wall broke. Jacob grabbed a handkerchief from his pocket in midair, and wiped his hand before landing. The man looked well dressed in his clothing, and he stood in front of Equius and Cans. Despite himself, he smirked.    
“Still got it.” He announced, and angled his head towards Cans. Equius was amazed by the show of strength (literally breaking through the walls in one punch) and his eyes widened as he saw John’s father’s tie blow in the wind. The man had a fatherly expression of mirth on his face, and he looked at Equius. “Don’t worry. I’m here.” He said, and Equius began to sweat harder.    
“You’re Mr. Egbert.” Equius realized, then found himself in a stance. “Sir, Can you assist me? This man is part of kidnapping your Roxanne, and plans to aid in the destruction of the world. It’s a matter of the utmost importance that he ceases functioning.” He stated, looking cautiously at Cans, who didn’t seem impressed any more about the display. The leprachaun roared again, and Jacob smirked.   
“No problem, but I can’t allow you to help unless I know you have experience with this, young man.” He said, his eyes never leaving Cans’ body. Equius nodded.   
“Will Eight years of boxing and Mixed Martial arts suffice?” Jacob nodded.   
“Yes. Remain cautious- and thank you.” With that, Jacob jumped forward, and dove into his first punch. He landed it, then asked his butler to throw him a cake. Surprisingly enough, the dersite man did it, and Jacob caught the confectionary treat. The second the pastry was in his hands Jacob threw it in the man’s face, then followed the action with a quick punch. Equius dodged a swing, and to his surprise, Jacob’s punches seemed to be damaging Cans, for the most part. Equius ended up practically standing around behind him, with a few exceptions.    
After a while of mainly staying out of Jacob’s way, Equius realized he wasn’t being useful. Ever the engineer, his mind sparked as he considered things he could do, or ways he could help. Then, Hearts boxcars stepped in, and he hid a smile. Finally, he could be helpful. He already knew that he was one of Jack Noir’s colleagues, and from his size and clear aggression, Equius knew he could take him. The teenager stepped back, and cracked his neck. He was ready.   
While Equius found a better way to make himself useful, Jacob continually beat Cans, the largest leprechaun he’d ever seen. Unfortunately, Jacob’s luck didn’t last indefinitely. While Equius managed to avoid all of Cans’ blows, knowing that they were deadly and often connected to time travel, Jacob did not. So, when Cans punched the man in the face, Equius’ eyes widened in horror. Then, his jaw dropped. Jacob stumbled, but stood firmly in place. Equius wanted to question how it could have happened, or why, but Cans didn’t punch Jacob out of existence. The leprechaun seemed just as surprised by the outcome of the action, and his moment of confusion was enough for Jacob to turn, and elbow him painfully in the face. The dad sprung backwards after doing so, and cracked his knuckles. This fight had just gotten started, and he was more than ready to end it.   
__________----

JAFNF Chapter 148

(Saturday, July 18)

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AN: Before you even start reading this, I recommend you pull up a song in a second window. It’s called Everything Stays, sung by Olivia Olsen or Rebecca Sugar, and it’s used in the chapter. Yes, it’s really short. Start playing it when you see this. (************ )

Now without further ado, let’s go!

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((FIGHT: Jade, Alt/Future Dave, Dirk, Jack Noir))

After a while of watching fighting and getting frustrated, Jade finally had an idea. She knew that future Dave didn’t want her moving them around, and that Jack could always teleport them back, but by now, the fight was getting ridiculous. Jack succeeded in successfully knocking Dirk out, and future Dave clearly lacked all reason at this point. Copies of himself were in and out of the battlefield, and the Daves’ presence didn’t seem to have any effect on him. Jade knew Jane would resurrect Dirk soon enough. But until then, she needed to distract both of them from fighting. So, with an extremely practiced motion of her hand, Jade switched Jack and Dave’s frame of reality.

They were above Jake’s fight now, and if Jade were watching below, she would have seen her uncle and a few remaining leprechauns taking a cookie break. She would have noticed Clover dancing atop a once again, crying and bound Karkat. She would have seen Jane teleport out and travel back to Jade’s previous location. Of course, she didn’t stay long enough to do these things. Jack teleported them both to the land of wind and Shade, then Jade huffed, but wouldn’t stop. She moved future Dave to heat and clockwork, light and rain, and a variety of other locations, but Jack, or sometimes Dave, would just bring her back. Fortunately, they spent more time teleporting back and forth than they did with actual fighting. Eventually, Jack saw her plan.

The man looked at Future Dave, and sighed with exasperation. A look of annoyance, clearly from Jade’s actions, was on Dave’s face as well. The two realized what she was doing and knew that it wouldn’t stop until they stopped fighting, at least momentarily. Jade watched the two silently lower their weapons, and broke in, her voice victorious.

“Are you two done yet? I’m not stopping until you’re done.” She added, and Jack turned his head partially towards her.

“What’s the deal? I know you don’t like fighting or something, but he attacked me.” He said, and Dave groaned.

“Jade, quit fucking with the fight. He killed bro twice and is about to kill one of your friends, John.” He said, and Jade shook her head.

“No way. You two shouldn’t fight. Jack from this time isn’t hurting anyone-You attacked him!” She responded, and turned to Jack. “Look, he has a welsh blade- that’s strong against cherubs or something, right? We’re all working against English here, Jack. And we found a better way than just killing John.” Jack glared.

“I’ve been seeking vengeance for the past three years. Too sudden for someone to just come along and change it.” Jade glared pointedly at him.

“You mean like how Dave’s trying to avenge his brother here?” She asked, and her tone turned soft. “Guys, we don’t have to fight. Come on, please stop!” Jade cried, and they looked at each other.

“Jade, come on. I have to fight this guy, and beat him. He killed Bro, and he’s about to kill John! Why are you protecting him?” He shouted, and she resisted a grin of victory. Finally, he was listening. Or, at least they were paying attention. She put her hands on her hips.

“You don’t have to fight anyone- and if you do, I’m going to keep teleporting. I don’t care where.” She said, determined. Dave and Jack shared a glance. They knew she was serious. Jade’s eyes narrowed as she saw their hands tighten on their respective blades, and she teleported them to a new location. Future Dave looked at the surrounding foliage and glared. With a regretful sigh, he made a decision.

“You’re really not going to let us fight, huh Harley?” He asked, and she shook her head.

“No way.” Came her response, and immediately, Dave advanced towards her.

“Jade, I’m sorry.” He said, and her eyes widened. He switched his sword to his other hand, then raised his fist. She opened her hands to teleport them, but knew she couldn’t do it before Dave’s hit made contact. It was time to use her last bargaining chip, now. Her eyes closed, and it wasn’t in preparation for impact, but concentration. She’d located her target, and teleported her from Earth to their current position before he promptly punched her in the face. She flew backwards and slid a little, then promptly fell unconscious. Jack looked surprised at the action, and his expression twisted into one of hate. He flew towards Dave impossibly quickly, and just as the two swords prepared to make contact for what was sure to be the real battle, a voice cut them off.

“Slick? Jack, what are you doing?” came the question, and Jack stopped mid- flight. It was his fiancé, and she seemed confused. Immediately losing care for the battle, he rushed over to her.

“Chelle! What are you doing here? Please tell me you’re not hurt, doll. I swear if English harmed a hair on your head I’ll cut him.” He said, and she blinked, because Jack was in his fully transformed form, but clearly still cared about her. His teeth were gigantic, but his words still showed concern.

“Oh, Jack! I’m fine. I was just sitting down when I ended up here! No idea how that works, but I thought it was more of your werewolf magic, or something right?” She asked, and he looked to the side.

“Something like that.” His attention turned back to Dave, who he’d forgotten in the rush to make sure Ms. Paint was okay. The blonde lowered his sword, and seemed to be unfocused. Jack glared, suddenly protective. “Don’t touch a hair on her head, punk.” He growled the words, and Dave put up a hand defensively.

“Woah, I wasn’t going to- uh, who’s this?” he asked, and Jack looked towards the woman with the ring on her finger.

“My fiancée, Michelle Paint. She probably got teleported here by Jade- who, by the way, you had no business punching in the face!” Dave looked a little more reluctant to fight Jack, and a little guilty.

“She was in the way. I know she didn’t want us to fight, but-”

“You two are fighting?” Michelle asked, and Jack blinked. His ears burned as she asked. Her tone was motherly, and accusatory. Dave suddenly felt embarrassed.

“I- y’see , Chelle, he jumped out of nowhere and attacked me and this girl with a sword, and now he’s  trying to kill me. He just punched her in the face for no reason. Now, if you don’t mind, I’ll just teleport you back home and-”

“No, no! Look, Mrs... uh, Paint. It’s personal. He’s trying to kill my friend, and he killed my brother.”

“You what?” The woman asked, and Jack jumped in, glaring at Dave.

“No, I’m trying to kill off the evil tyrant that turned me into this freak! This kid just jumps out of nowhere, going all ‘My name is Inigo Montoya, prepare to die’ or some baloney, but he just punched some teenage girl in the face!” He responded, and Dave frowned.

“I only punched her because she was in the way of us fighting.”

“You’re in the way of me killing Lord English!”

“That’s because you have to kill my friend to do it, and we already have a plan to take him out!” Dave responded, and Jack glared.

“I deserve the final blow on him. He’s the one who kept me for… I don’t even know how many years! Think of the time I lost! I deserve to end him, the way I want. And all this sh-uh, stuff about killin’ your brother is baloney.” Dave looked down.

“Not here. In another timeline. I deserve to get revenge for my bro!”

“Another timeline? Seriously, kid? I know you’re some time travelling vampire, but you can’t blame me for what I did there.” Dave glared under his glasses.

“Hell yes I can. You’re the same person.” Came Dave’s response, and Jack’s expression turned wolfishly accusatory.

“But I didn’t do it! You’re the one who’s beating up innocent kids. I’m not the bad guy here.” He responded, and Dave twitched.

“You punched my brother in the face here, killed him in the last timeline, and you’re trying to kill my best friend in both. No fucking way am I letting you go on with this. This is my fucking chance to get revenge- I watched him die from the sword you put through his stomach, then forced into the concrete! You made it slow, and painful, and I had to watch his face. He’s the only family I’ve ever fucking had, and you killed him, right there. Do you know what it’s like?” He asked, and chuckled darkly. “Well no, of course you fucking don’t. Of course, you could never understand what it was like. I sat in that apartment, and he put asword in a ten year old’s fucking face. And yet, I fucking idolized him, like he was some deity or shit.” Jack’s wolfish ears fell.

“I know what it’s like to have someone you love get killed, kid.” He responded, and Dave’s fists tightened.

“You don’t get it at fucking all! I-” his voice broke, and turned quiet. “I hated him.” He admitted, and his hands got loose again. Dave barely held his sword. “And yet, I wanted him to love me. Fuck, I hate him! I hate his stupid hat, and his stupid sword, and his stupid, asshole, too cool to fucking give a shit about me or fucking anything personality. I hate that fucking asshole piece of shit!” His voice, which had steadily raised in volume, changed again. “I have to fucking kill you. Beat you. Something, to make it right. I  _ have _ to, man.” He said, and Jack looked to the side. Now he felt bad, but he stood.

“Well, I’m getting revenge too, kid. I can’t have you getting in my way. I need to kill English. You don’t get what he did to me in there- what he made me become. I’m a monster now, and I can’t ever stop being one. Because of him, I got as messed up in the head as I did on the outside. Took me years to bounce back, and get normal again. I missed so much life in that facility. He made me a freak, and a monster. I deserve revenge on him more than you, at least I know he was the cause of it.” He said, and looked at Michelle. “Doll, can you make sure Jade’s outta harm’s way? She’s the girl on the groud over there. She tried to get us to stop fighting- ended up knocked out.” Michelle, despite her lack of understanding in the situation, nodded and stood up, then move Jade’s unconscious body. Dave let her do it. When this was over, Jane could heal Jade easily.

“Let’s go, then. No more shit.” Dave said, and Jack nodded.

“No more shit, kid.” Jack’s wings opened, and he flew into the sky. This man was ready to fight, for real for real. Unfortunately, the wing beat behind him was his only warning before PM’s fist landed on his face, and the punch was an immediate knock out. She hit him so hard that not only did he fall, but he fell  diagonally, and once his body connected with the ground, he slid backwards for minutes. Dave’s jaw dropped as he fell to the ground, just like that, and PM fist pumped. Dirk, who’d arrived at the scene unnoticed for minutes now put a hand on Future Dave’s shoulder. He turned with his sword in hand to see Dirk, who’d woken up with a mild concussion for a few minutes before flash stepping here.  

“Dave.” Came his voice, and the blonde looked up behind him. The man looked down at him through his glasses.

“Dirk. He killed my… I- I have to-”

“Shh.” Came Dirk’s response. Dirk made eye contact with PM, then nodded at her, in thanks. He looked down at the teenager in front of him. “Dave. You don’t have to.” He said, and held the boy in a hug. “Let him go.” He said, and Dave glared behind his sunglasses.

“I can’t. This was the only way I could do it. I had to beat him! You wouldn’t understand, you’re not my Bro. You’re not him. No one’s him. He’s gone, that asshole.” The words came out as if he was chocking on them, and Dirk sighed.

“I understand.” He said, and took a step back from Dave. His sword was in his hand, and he looked down at the boy. “I get it. This is what you need right now. You said he wore a hat. Fuck time rules, give me one now.” He said, and though future Dave was confused, he was able to make a non-paradox clone of it appear through time travel. Dirk put it on his head, and stepped back. “I know exactly how much of an asshole I can be. PM, teleport me to 29.7526° North, 95.3704° West. Put us both forty meters above ground, on top of the building.” He said, and the woman blinked, but nodded. Dave was confused, but he held his not-quite sibling, and they teleported away.

Instantly, they were there. Dave knew where he was by smell and sight. His eyes widened, and he saw the endless grey buildings. They were back in Houston, Texas, the place where this alternate Dave spent the majority of his life. The boy looked around, confused.

“Dave. One last strife, little man.” Dirk said, and Dave understood, but his eyes turned wide.

“What? Dirk, no, you’re not him. I don’t want to.” He said, and Dirk shook his head.

“Kid, listen to me. You’re not going to get over this until we do this. I can already tell, I’m probably not as good as him. Just call Jade on my phone when we’re done, so we can ask her to bring us back.” He said, and Dave took a step backwards.

“Dirk I don’t want to-”

“Have I ever let you back out of a strife before, little man?” Dave twitched at the nickname, and the hatred he’d felt for his Bro, his abuser, his family, his everything, was back. In an instant, he settled into a stance, and ran at the man. Dirk smirked, and ran forward as well.

Looking back on it, the fight was almost too easy. That’s how it felt, anyway. Even though it took them hours, and sweat was dripping off Alternate Dave’s back. Even though he had cuts and bruises and pain all over. Even though he’d been screaming until he was hoarse half the time, and almost fell off the ledge of the apartment building multiple times. Still, it felt like it was too easy. So when Dave swung, hard, and broke through Dirk’s unbreakable sword, then sliced through his head, Alternate Dave thought it was too fucking easy. Dirk’s smirk remained on his face, even as the welsh sword sliced through his neck. And when his decapitated head fell to the ground, covered by his body, Dave looked down at the body, and almost fell over. He had his sword, tainted with his brother’s blood, and squeezed his fists.

“I hate you.” He said, quietly, and put the sword through Dirk’s chest. He pulled it out, and put it in again. “I hate you.” He put more emphasis on it. “I hate you. I hate you!” He stabbed every time he said the word. “I hate you. I fucking hate you. I’ve never hated anyone more. I fucking hate you, I fucking hate you, I fucking hate you, you piece of shit! I hate everything about you! I hate you! I hate you!!!” He went on like that for a while, his words dissolving into screams, and sobs. Eventually he collapsed, sliding down the sword trapped in Dirk’s chest. He got quiet. “You never wanted me.” It wasn’t a question. He suddenly felt cold, and alone. “I don’t want you anymore either. I don’t need you now.” He said, and now it was a realization. “I’m over you, Bro.” He stood, and Dave felt light. Lighter than he had in years. He felt isolated, yeah, but he felt free. The boy put his hands in Dirk’s pocket, and grabbed his cell phone. As he dialed the number’s to Jade’s cell phone, hoping she’d be up from her likely painful slumber, he sighed. It was finally over.

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((FIGHT: Betty Crocker, John, Rose, Kanaya, Roxy))

Despite the skilled fighters in their group, Betty Crocker seemed to be winning. She’d targeted Roxy, and after taking care of the woman and throwing her behind her back, she was able to deal with John, Kanaya, and Rose easily. The siren hummed a high note, and the three fighters were suspended midair, and clawing at their throats. She sang a little, only adding to the intensity of her attack. By now they were chocking, an understandably strange feeling for John. Betty smirked in her singing. These three would get a slow death, she’d decided. Of course, the siren would have preferred to drown them, being a water spirit and all, but this could work. She was more than ready to make these children pay for trying to attack her. She saw the panic, the fear in their eyes as she choked them, and now she had to hum through a grin. Betty Crocker loved the fear, the terror. They would pay dearly for messing with her plans.

Rose started growing limp first. Both John and Kanaya could tell, from the way her legs stopped kicking as much, and how her hands stopped being so tight. Light started fading from the human’s eyes, and Kanaya began to do the same. She began to stop glowing, and her legs began to stop moving as well. John, whose body could be made of wind if he willed it, seemed to take longer. All three had scratches, bruises, and possibly a few broken bones. Betty Crocker hurt them, and she hurt them a lot. Eventually, Rose’s hands stopped moving altogether, and the very, very wounded Roxy Lalonde saw it. Roxy refused to accept that her baby sister, or Kanaya, or John would die. So, after gathering her strength, she finally stood.

And instantly, she was moving. She finally uncapped the sword she’d been saving, and dashed towards Betty Crocker. As soon as she got in range, Roxy jumped, and forced the sword through her back. The result was instantaneous. Betty’s voice stopped instantly, and her eyes widened. They could all imagine an epic guitar riff playing right about now. Background music aside, Betty coughed, and purple blood came out of her mouth, then she fell to one knee. Kanaya gasped for breath, holding her side, and John grinned when betty fell over. Roxy watched Betty’s siren body turn to dust and nodded to herself, then began to fall. John caught her with the wind, and gently flew her over to him so she could lean on him. He gave her a high five, and Roxy smiled as she slapped his hand. Then, the older Lalonde looked at the younger in worry. She seemed to be struggling in the breathing department.

“Don’t worry, I’ll get her breathing again.” John offered, but Kanaya jumped in.

“Actually, I can give Rose CPR.” She offered, her voice taking on a strange tone. John blinked.

“It’s okay. You don’t have to, I can probably just shoot some wind through her.” Roxy grinned, understanding Kanaya’s intentions even though John clearly didn’t, and gave an exaggerated groan of pain.

“Ugh! Johnny, everything hurts, can you get me to the portal? Right now?” She requested, and John looked confused.

“But, what about Rose?”

“Kanaya can… take care of her.” She winked at the Vampire, and John still looked confused.

“But wouldn’t it be easier? I mean, if I didn’t, Kanaya would have to, like, kiss Rose and-” The boy cut himself off, his cheeks heating in embarrassment. “Oh, uh, wow, is that Sollux calling us? Gee Roxy, we better go. Bye.” John said quickly, and flew away with Roxy in his grasp. The woman snorted as he did it, and instantly, they were gone. Kanaya blushed, but knealt over Rose. Their lips connected, and she focused on helping Rose breathe again. And maybe just a little on how she’d have black in her green lipstick. And that Kanaya wouldn’t really mind that. But mostly, she focused on letting Rose breathe freely again. Eventually, she did, and she coughed. Kanaya parted lips with her before that, and Rose blinked a few times. Her eyes landed on Betty Crocker’s pile of dust, and she made eye contact with Kanaya. The human girl sat up, and noticed her lips.

“Black lipstick?” She questioned, and Kanaya looked away sheepishly.

“You weren’t breathing.” She responded, and Rose beamed at her.

“If I pretend to stop breathing, will you kiss me again?” Rose asked, and Kanaya smiled.

“You don’t need to stop breathing for that to happen.” Rose’s hands found Kanaya’s, and as soon as those were together, their lips followed.

Meanwhile, Sollux blocked his screen, and blanched. He looked at Roxy and John, both of whom clearly knew what was going on. He glanced at them with distaste.

“You two couldn’t have warned me?” He asked, and John flushed, while Roxy laughed.

“Sorry, Sollux. How’s everyone else doing?” She asked, easing herself on John’s couch, and he gestured to the screen.

“Look.” Karkat was standing, his fists victoriously raised over a bound and gagged Clover, while Jack stood atop a pile of knocked out leprachauns, his expression just as victorious. Jane was with them, and clapped enthusiastically for the two. There was only one left standing, crowbar, who watched with his mouth wide open. Equius and John’s dad shared a high five as they stood over Cans’ dust and Heart’s unconscious form. Both losers had various pieces of confectionary covering their bodies. PM returned with Michelle, Jade, Dirk and Alternate Dave, who held an unconscious Jack in his arms. The afforementioned Dave seemed more relaxed. He gave everyone a casual wave. Nepeta bounced over to the group, and Jade rubbed her head. 

“Jade! I saw you get punched in the face! Take this.” She said, offering her one of Jane’s cookies. The girl smiled at the gift, and put it in her mouth… and immediately, she started to feel better. Sollux, noticing the extra people in the room, turned around.

“The only people that are left fighting are the Lord Engli2h people, 2o I’ll, uh, put thi2 on full 2creen. He proceeded to connect his computer to John’s television, and in an instant, they saw Sollux’s camera view of the fight against Lord English.

John’s eyes widened when he saw Tavros get smacked roughly to the side, and he watched, nervously. He saw a few of the ‘sand traps’ on the ground, and hoped no one would step in them. Vriska was using the long knife she’d brought to deal with the only of Jack’s minions that got the right location, and she groaned in frustration. She said something to the group, causing a change in strategy. Meenah was awesome, and even as her attacks bounced off English she persisted. Lord English used both his gun and brute strength to beat John’s friends. Meenah stepped in one of his bullet traps, and immediately, a barrage of deadly projectiles flew towards her, quickly. John saw Dave slide behind, over, and under Lord English. His hand clenched the couch in worry, and he hardly noticed when other people came in to his house. His eyes were glued to the screen, and he didn’t even care about getting healed. Dave was terrifying. His white sword gleamed as it cut across a bicep, and John swore that Dave was moving at light speed. Still, John was worried. His eyebrows scrunched inwards, and he watched every detail of the scene. Then, he saw it.

It was a singular, discreetly placed trap that would keep someone in place long enough for Lord English to incinerate them. John looked at the confidence in Lord English’s eyes, and he realized-The cherub wasn’t weaker against Dave’s attacks, he was just holding himself back. He was preparing something that he could release the second Dave stepped in that trap. It was obvious, from a viewer’s perspective, but the people in the battle area had no idea. And Lord English seemed to be anticipating Dave’s moves too easily. John’s eyes widened in alarm. Dave sliced Lord English again, and this time, the skull-headed monster’s mouth twitched into a smile he’d been trying to hide. John saw the sand sparkle a little, and knew. He was going to step in it. Dave was going to step on that sandy time trap, and die. In one step, he’d be dead.

And instantly, John acted. His body became wind on its own, and pushed John through the window portal in the ground and out to the other side, without any input from John. Somehow, John ignored the pain of his molecules splitting apart, and none of them threatened to blow Away. No, John’s body was united with one purpose, one goal, one reason for existence. Save Dave was the command, and his body followed. He appeared from the portal and turned solid just long enough to push Dave away from the ground, and landed on it instead. Dave’s surprise made him fall to the side, knocking his glasses off, and the instant John’s foot made contact with the ground, Lord English fired.

Thousands of tiny 8-ball bullets attacked his body, lodging themselves in all places of John’s already wounded flesh. Dave’s red eyes widened, and Lord English’s did too, in surprise. John coughed and fell, and Dave turned around, horror on his features. He was confused. He was terrified. Lord English designed the attack to be slow and painful, specially made for Dave Strider. So when it his John instead, the battle seemed to stop.

“No.” Lord English said, his eyes wide. “John, no!” He called, and John winced, then smiled. Vriska and Tavros had varying looks of horror, and  Meenah seemed upset, but focused.

“John? How are you- oh gob. What did you do?” Dave’s voice came, and tears leaked from his eyes. John laughed a little, then winced. That hurt.

“Sorry, I was watching, and I knew he was going to kill you, and-” John coughed, red blood coming out. “Sorry. I couldn’t let you, you know, die.” He announced, and Dave looked horrified, and angry.

“What? No, no, you don’t understand! Jane could have healed me, I would have been fine! John, no you idiot- no!”

“Nah, this is better. I couldn’t watch you die.” Dave was incredulous at this point.

“So you made me watch you?” Dave took a deep, determined breath, staring at the bleeding boy under him’s face. “John! I- look, no. You’re not going to die, okay? Dude, you’re not dying. No way. I’m going to go back in time, stop you-”

“And doom yourself? And this timeline?” John asked, and with some effort, the boy shook his head. “No way, Dave.” It took some effort but John responded, and Dave opened his mouth in protest.

“But-”

“No.” Dave gripped his hand.

“But John! I’ll get you to Jane. Something.”

“If she comes here, Lord English is going to use her healing to his advantage, and hold her against you. You know she can’t come in here until English is dead, and she’s already healed me once.” John’s tone grew sad, and accepting. “Dave, you can’t save me.” Dave sniffed loudly.

“I don’t care! I don’t want- you can’t die!” He said, his voice choking on sobs. “You can’t die, you fucking asshole you can’t-”

“Why not?” John asked, his voice straining with difficulty, and pain. Those little pool balls were spinning inside him, and they hurt. John was barely suppressing a scream now, and he gripped Dave’s hand harder. Dave’s response was incredulous, and rushed.

“Why not?  What do you mean, why not? You can’t! I’m not done- we’re not done! We were going to do so much, we’re best friends, oh gob you can’t fucking die. I- you’re not supposed to go yet. We were supposed to hang out, and then keep hanging out, and go on a date, and then a lot of dates, and be supportive and fight a few times and then kiss each other and maybe go to college together or whatever the heck you’re going to do and I was supposed to fucking hug you when you graduated with a shit ton of shit on your cap or whatever and then also kiss you, like, multiple times. We were supposed to have not sex sleepovers while your dad checked in on us every ten minutes, and you could laugh at my mix tapes while I laughed at Casey and we both cringed at fucking anime together, and go on dates and kiss and be happy, and then maybe break up like once but get back together in like a week because I can’t fucking live without you! I was supposed to catch the thing at Kanaya’s wedding with Rose and eventually propose except you would have already proposed without me knowing it that morning because you’re just that fucking good and get married and have sick fucking beats. We were supposed to have sick fucking beats, and you’d call them terrible but I’d catch you listening to them because you actually like them and I know you like them! We were supposed to wake up and see each other, damn it John! You were supposed to realize that… that I’ve been in love with you and know that it’s better when you’re there and you’d eventually fall in love with me too and we’d be happy and together and-” he felt a shaky hand on his lips.

“Shh, Dave.” Came John’s pained response, and Dave shook with sadness. “It’s okay.” He said, his eyes brightened despite the pain. “Were you seriously waiting until I died to tell me all of that?” He asked, and Dave looked down. Regret was clear in his features.

“The right time never came.” He responded, and clutched his hand, as if John was his lifeline. John chuckled at the motion, despite the pain.

“Lame. Oh man, I must look really gross right now. Sorry about-” John coughed more blood, and winced. Dave could practically hear the seconds ticking away until John’s death. “Good thing I become dust, right? All this blood and stuff is really gross.” He said it weakly, and Dave looked down at him. He cradled John’s head in his arms, and tears flowed freely from his eyes.

“Stop apologizing! And no way, John. You’re perfect.” He responded, and John grinned.

“That’s totally not true, Dave. No one’s perfect, including you… but you are pretty attractive. Especially your eyes. Uncover them for me?” He asked, and Dave did it without hesitation. John still felt that sharp intake of breath he always did when he saw Dave’s eyes. “Beautiful.” John whispered, his eyes growing unfocused for a little before John could look back at Dave. The half-sprite felt his grip growing weak. “Hey, Dave?” He coughed again, and the bright light started to fade from his eyes. “You know, if I don’t-” He coughed again, and it was more blood than before. “Sorry.” He croaked, and continued. “If I don’t make it, you know, and die and stuff? I just want you to know-” another cough, and Dave didn’t care. “One thing.” Dave was sobbing, but he quieted himself to hear John’s words.

“Y-Yeah?” He expected something about John’s family, or a request to tell them he loved them. He expected a reassuring comment about his eyes, or their friendship, or something. Dave expected a gigantic range of things, and was able to quiet his noises to little whimpers when John looked at him, his smile shaky at best. John opened his mouth to talk, and Dave leaned in to listen.

“Every apple juice you drink will-” he coughed. “always be piss. Ha.” He responded, and Dave’s eyes widened. He laughed a little, and burst into harder tears.

“You asshole!” Came the response, and John grinned.

“Your asshole, right?” He asked, and Dave laughed, then cried.

“Yes. Y-Yes. My…” Dave cried hard, and looked down. “Sorry.”

“Now who’s apologizing?” John asked, and Dave shook his head. John was dying. He felt it. Dave felt it. Heck, Meenah could feel it, and she didn’t even know John.

“I love you.” He said, and John smiled softly. He didn’t respond, because he knew he didn’t have much time.

“Dave- one.. request?”  John asked, and he felt his foot begin to disintegrate. Dave saw it, and cried harder.

“Anything.” He got out, once he finally could. John sighed.

“I know this is a little cheesy, but could you sing me to sleep with a lullaby?” He asked, and Dave blinked, then more tears came out of his eyes.

“Yes. I- fuck, I- yeah. Gob. This is so hard.” John smiled in understanding.

“Ha, it’s okay if you can’t.” He responded, and Dave looked at John, wiping some blood out of his hair.

“Sorry if it’s bad.”

“It’ll be perfect.” Dave was finally able to get his voice to sound stable, and he began to sing quietly, personally. ************

“Let’s… go in the garden.

You’ll find something waiting,

Right there where you left it, lying upside down.

When you finally find it...you’ll see how it’s faded,

The underside is lighter,

when you turn it around.”

Dave started crying, unintelligibly, and John picked up where he left off. After all, he knew this song. It was one of the many on Dave’s channel, and definitely the most bittersweet.

“Everything Stays.. right where you left it.” Dave came back in. They began to trade lines, and sing together.

“Everything stays, but it still changes.”

“Ever so slightly…”

“Daily and nightly…”

“In little ways…”

They both sang the next part, and the remains of John’s body began to become dust.

“When Everything stays.”

The second it ended, John smiled, and opened his mouth- presumably to thank him. Before he could do it, John’s body fell apart into a cloud of supernatural dust. John’s dust was tinted blue, like his blood signature, and Dave’s hands were over his eyes. The battle field was silent without his and John’s singing, and the teenager removed his hands from his face. His head turned upwards, and the expression on his face would have sent armies fleeing. He held his sword, and instantly, everyone aggressing English backed away. Vriska’s mind sparked, and she saw her opportunity. Lord English would grow weaker without John, and now Dave wouldn’t hold himself back. Dave wasn’t paying attention, and his eyes were focused on Lord English. The man made eye contact with the gigantic skull creature, and his red eyes seemed to burn into him. The second Dave moved his hand, it was over.

Instantly, ten other Daves with broken swords appeared around him, and sliced Lord English in various directions. Dave sprinted forward faster than even a time lord could react, and buried his sword in Caliborn’s good leg, effectively cutting off circulation. Instantly, the blade was out of his leg, and Dave practically teleported atop Lord English as he fell. After two quick stabs to the arms, the time Lord finally saw what was going on. Dave stood, staring down at Lord English. His blade was poised above his neck, and silence echoed through the dusty dunes. There was no emotion on his face, and it looked so serious that Lord English could have died on the spot, which heawas about to do anyway. The daves surrounded the green monster, and they all spoke in sync.

“My Name is Dave Strider.” He said, and looked down at Lord English. Suddenly, hate filled all of their eyes. “You killed my best friend. Prepare to die.” In an instant, all the Daves disappeared, except for the current one from this timeline. The current Dave had his sword raised above the man’s neck, and was about to lower it when he heard a voice.

“Dave, now!” Came Vriska’s voice. He instantly catapulted away, and, expecting a stab wound, Lord English hadn’t prepared himself for anything other than that. So when he felt himself getting sucked into a glowing treasure chest behid Vriska, he couldn’t react, or anything. Vriska’s hair blew in the wind it created, and she watched the juju suck in its victim, Lord English. The monster screamed, not even enjoying the pleasure of a last word, before it sucked him in, and the lid shut automatically. Vriska snapped and chins wrapped around the chest, and it was instantly buried far underground, in the random, uncharted areas of the dream bubble realm. Caliborn, Lord English, or whatever he was, wasn’t getting out of there any time soon.  Finally, this was over. Vriska looked into her wristwatch, and let out a long sigh.

“Mission complete.”

________--

JAFNF Chapter 149

(Saturday, July 18)

((Home Base: Everyone))

When the group of people returned, the mood was somber, at best. Everyone saw when John pushed Dave out of the way of Lord English’s attack, and saw how closely the two friends held each other as John died. They couldn’t hear any audio, but they saw the way their mouths moved and could guess about the rest. Sollux shut off the tv, and began to take down his equipment. Jack had begun to wake up minutes before he watched Lord English die on screen, and for now, he was okay. He sat next to his fiancé awkwardly in the room full of strangers, and was the only person with dry eyes, since he was also the only person who hadn’t seen John die. Jane took Roxy and Jake to the side, and she was both serious and sad in her mannerisms. She stood with her two best friends, and made sure they couldn’t be heard.

“Yes, Janey?” Came Roxy’s voice. The three were in the garage, and all were clearly shaken from what they believed to be the permanent death of John.

“I- First, I want to say, it’s the bee’s knees to see you both again.” Her voice was quiet. Jake forced a smile.

“You too.” He responded, and Jane nodded.

“I know. I know you two have… missed me, from what John’s told me. And Jacob has as well, I know. I know you two are some of my closest loved ones and best friends, so I wanted to ask you first.” She took a breath, and looked down. “There’s… a chance that I can revive John. I can, in fact, and I’d be out there right now if I didn’t have to consult with you and Jacob.” Jake’s mouth twitched into a frown, and he looked worried.

“But?” He asked, his tone regretful.

“But… if I did, it’s likely that I’d die. I would have to revive him with the ring Lord English used to bring me back to life in the first place. He’s told me that taking it off would mean that I die. And yet, I’m the essence of life. I don’t know if things would be different for me, or if he was just bluffing to intimidate me. If it were up to just me, I’d do it immediately. But I know it’s not. You three were clearly impacted by my death, and John was too. I can’t do anything knowing you two would stand against it.” Roxy and Jake exchanged glances. Pink eyes met green, and they both landed on the now younger Jane’s.

“It’s your decision.” Roxy said and she squeezed Jake’s hand. “We’ll be okay, either way. I miss you Janey, and I’m sorry for dating your husband, but you can do what… you know, you want. If you really think it’s better to take the risk and revive John, I say do it. If not, and you wanna stay alive, we’ll support you, and not tell Dave that you could revive him.” Jake nodded.

“Quiet true. We’re rather behind you, Jane. I know that we both missed you dearly. And while I can’t choose between you and your son, I know that either way, we’ll all feel a great loss.” He said, and looked down. “I don’t know if your, erm, husband is going to feel the same. He had quite a rough time raising John without your guidance, and I’m certain that he broke some child safety laws involving neglect. Either way, he was quite the mess, and I don’t know how you dying again would affect that.” He offered, analytically, and Jane sighed and smiled.

“Thank you both. In truth, I feel a little misplaced. All of you are older now, and I’m not sure that I fit in here. I think… if you’re okay with it, I’d like to try to revive John.” She said, and Roxy’s eyes got teary, but she nodded.

“Whatever you think is best, Janey.”  Came the response, and Jane nodded.

“Thank you. You know I love you both dearly.” She said, and Roxy put her arms around her best friend. It was remarkable how similar she looked to her twenty five year old self. Jake joined the hug as well, and all three felt like letting go was the equivalent of saying goodbye. When they finally did, Jane looked up at both through fogged glasses. “Now Jake, you stay good to that Dirk boy.  He’s very sweet.” She said, remembering their discussion since she’d healed his concussion. “And Roxy. Thank you for being there for John, even when Jacob wasn’t. Thank you for being there for him too. Stay as wonderful as you are now, all right?” She asked, and Roxy nodded.

“Of course, Janey. We love you too.” She said, and Jake smiled a little sadly.

“We do.”

“I know. I’m off to talk to Jacob then.” She said, and the two nodded. This was goodbye. They exited the garage, and Jane went to talk to her husband.

The conversation went well, with all things considered. When the two talked, they were able to connect again, even after being apart for ten years. Both Jane and Jacob knew they weren’t ready to be parents when they had John, and it was comforting, for both, to admit it. Jacob was lost without Jane’s guidance, and she knew that she probably would have been the same. She flustered him when they talked about Roxy, and Jane laughed, giving her blessings for any endeavors involving her best friend. She told him why she could never tell him she was a sprite, and thankfully, he understood. When the two parted, they left as friends, and, with Jacob’s permission, she went to go revive her son.

The process wasn’t easy. She knew that the ring would bind John’s ghost, or soul, to his body. But to do that, Jane had to reform John’s body out of his dust, and that was a strenuous task, even for the sprite of life. Eventually, she rebuilt John’s body, and Jane had her ring on her finger. Before taking it off, she looked at her son’s face, and placed a kiss on his forehead. She loved him, and only wanted the best for him. Even if it meant that she’d die again, she was okay with that. Getting to see her loved ones again was nice, but she felt like she didn’t belong in their lives. She’d been dead, and it was okay for her to stay that way. Jane held an urn- hopefully, John would know what to do with it, if she truly did die. Jane took a breath, and slowly, carefully took the ring to the tip of her finger. She had it positioned so that it would fall onto John’s hand, and instantly, she pushed it down onto him.

And… she was fine. The sprite wasn’t sure what she was expecting. Maybe fireworks, or a dramatic gasp of breath. She knew that she could have just become a ghost on the spot, but it didn’t happen. John sat up calmly, and he turned to see his mother next to him. The boy smiled, and noticed the ring that was off her finger.

“He lied?” John asked, and Jane knew who he meant- Lord English. She smiled.

“Of course he did.” She responded, and the two shared a smile. Jane stretched, and stood. Neither of them had to worry after all. Jane put the finishing touches on healing his body, and when John felt good enough to fly (instantly) he tried taking the ring off his finger. He was fine. The two looked out at the sandy terrain of paradox space, and John avoided his mother’s face.

“Thank you.” He said, and Jane smiled.

“Thank you too.” John held the ring of life (and immortality) in his hand. “What are you going to do with that?” She asked, and he shrugged.

“Maybe I’ll keep it? I’m sure it could be useful eventually.”  John responded, and Jane gave him a little smile.

“What, are you planning to propose?” She asked, and John hit her arm.

“Mom!” Jane laughed.

“Sorry, honey. But that Dave seems to like you a lot, hm?” She asked, teasingly, and John’s ears burned. When he got back, he’d see him. “Any plans for him when you see him? You know you’re going to have to apologize for worrying everyone- especially him. You’ve told me he’s your best friend.” John blushed, faintly, and looked down.

“He’s more than that.” Jane grinned when he said it, and John looked up suddenly. “Oh gosh, what am I going to say to him? He said he loved me. And I- Mom, what do I do?” He questioned, beginning to freak out a little, and she raised an eyebrow.

“You just came back from the dead! I think you can handle a boy or two.” She said, and he looked to the ground, a smile on his face. Suddenly, he flew himself into a standing position.

“You’re right! Let’s go!” John said, and he flew his mom back to the portal. Once they went through, the ring of life ‘safely’ in John’s pocket, everyone saw them enter. There were looks of shock and disbelief, and before anyone could explain, they all crowded around him in hugs. Dave and his dad were closest to John, and everyone else kind of piled in atop them. There was laughter, and happiness in everyone’s voices. Even future Dave and Vriska seemed relieved, and they knew he was going to be okay. Jane started cooking, which made everyone feel better, and now everyone was happy. Meenah let John’s friends and family have their moment, and Roxy and Jane were attached at the hip.

Everyone in the immediate area traded battle stories for hours, and Karkat somehow found a way to make his win sound like the most fearsome defeat of the entire group. In the end, everyone was together, and happy. They made the beginning plans for rescuing the rest of the people in those facilities, and getting the hunting community in for those daemons, but that was a mission for the future.  Jade and Jack talked about being hybrids, and how Jade was glad he was okay. She congratulated him on his engagement, and Jack thanked her. He officially became her number one guardian, and PM expressed some playful jealousy. Eventually they left, but not without promising to stay in touch. Jane went home with Jake that night, and got the chance to talk to Dirk more. They shared a weird sense of humor, and the two were easily blooming into close friends- so much so that Jake almost felt awkward, but it was fine. John gave Vriska the ring of life, and she promised to keep it safe. She found herself hanging out with Future Dave and Meenah, but other than that, stayed away from John and his family. Future Dave noticed, and decided he’d ask her what he wanted to ask, but later. 

Jacob found himself talking to Meenah, and somehow the two completely different adults managed to have some good conversation. Dave ducked out of an awkward conversation between Equius and Sollux, and ended up chatting with Tavros for a while, while Nepeta and Davepeta caught up. Karkat floated into conversation with Nepeta and out of it, then set his sights on John. The two caught up after not seeing each other in person for a while, which was nice. They argued about everything from movies to video games, and somehow, the concept of romance didn’t come up once. John was free to use his wind powers, which made him feel awesome, and he wasn’t above a few pranks with floating objects in front of his friends and family. Everyone had a wonderful time, and when it started to get late, everyone regretted leaving. Ironically enough, the only two people that didn’t get a chance to talk were Dave and John, and they needed to the most.

__________--

Hours later, Dave sat in his room, mindlessly thumbing through pesterchum. Jane’s mandatory healing cookies had almost worked too well- he wasn’t tired at all, even late at night. Of course, no one was on, which was unfortunate- but it didn’t matter. He glanced at his phone screen in boredom for a few minutes… and then, he heard it. It was a knock on the window, and his currently shaded red eyes turned towards it. Dave didn’t see anyone outside from here, but he did notice a lump on the ledge. Confused, the vampire went to check it out. It was dark outside, but he walked over to the ledge and opened it anyway, then saw the pie sitting there. It featured a smooth outside crust in the color red, and meticulously cut numbers around the edge. It also featured two arrows, one long and one short, and they pointed to the numbers on the pie. It was a clock, he realized, and Dave grinned, because he knew who gave it to him. Happy, the vampire looked up to try to spot the boy, but no one was there. He looked at the clock-pie again, and realized that it was telling a time- Twelve thirty. It was twelve now- he had thirty minutes.

Dave saw his phone buzz, and immediately, he went over to read it. It was a pesterchum from John, and it only had two words- be ready. Dave immediately went for the shower, and got ready. He knew he could just time travel forward, but he knew that part of the fun came from waiting for… whatever John would surprise him with. The boy knew he’d admitted his feelings, for real before, and hadn’t gotten a response. Dave’s heart beat faster. Maybe John was responding. When he finally exited the shower, he found a window portal on the floor of his room, and he knew that wasn’t there before. He was nervous and excited, and a little flustered too. None of these were regular parts of Dave’s personality, but he had an intense day. He was allowed to get a little flustered, for once. He paced his room in his actually ironed clothes in trediptation, and practically jumped when his phone vibrated. He raced over to it, and found another text from John.

Ecto Biologist (EB) began pestering Turntech Godhead (TG).

EB: You can go through the portal now if you want.

EB: See you!

Ecto Biologist (EB) ceased pestering Turntech Godhead (TG).

That was all the permission Dave needed, and he felt himself fall through the window portal in the floor with ease. Dave spun as he fell, and when he reached the other side, he landed safely on his feet. When he looked up, his eyes widened- everything was beautiful. He was in Wind and Shade, naturally, and it was clearly night time. The dark sky only brought out the serene, strange beauty in the glowing flora and, thanks to the various fireflies, fauna as well. Everything glowed blue, and Dave began to walk forward from where he’d landed. His head turned at the world around him, and his eyes grew wide behind his sunglasses. A slow, cooling breeze seemed to urge him forward, and he continued to walk until he reached one of Wind and Shade’s gigantic, glowing apple trees. He paused in front of it, curious, and took another step- and then he saw John.

And suddenly, Dave was absolutely not ready for anything. He was underdressed, he was not prepared. Dave didn’t feel ready at all for what he faced. Dave aided in killing a tyrant, time travelled, and stopped the end of the world, but he wasn’t ready for this. Dave’s face flushed, and he blinked, his mouth not forming words, and stared blankly ahead. What, I’m sure you’re wondering, could have caused the teenaged vampire so much distress? To put it simply, it was John in a suit.

But it was so much more than John in a suit. It was John with that newly muscled frame, that cowlick that drove him crazy, his glasses looking so new that they appeared polished. It was the fact that those blue eyes looked away from him, but were also waiting. It was the apple he held in one hand, and how casually he sat in the branches of that ethereal blue tree, with one leg spread across the branch while the other dangled towards the ground. His body seemed to curve so naturally in the position that it was like he owned the entire world. Even though he kind of did own it? Technicalities aside, it was the posture, it was the skin, it was the way the breeze seemed to stop guiding Dave forward. John turned casually, and those deep blue eyes practically melted Dave- and then John destroyed any sense of readiness Dave tried to aqquire in one simple move- the teenager smirked.

“Hey.” Came John’s voice, casual and confident. Dave swallowed.

“Hey. Sup?” He asked, trying to sound casual, and John floated over to him. It was like he was meeting a particularly mischievous deity for the first time, and about to get swept off his feet. Ooh, that’s a cool idea. Keep that for later.

“Oh, you know.” John said, leaning against the blue, glowing bark. “Just floating around.” John’s mouth twitched. “I couldn’t help but notice you fly by here.” He began to ease himself to the ground via wind at that. Dave was able to remember that this wasn’t just a smoking hot piece of teenaged wind boy, but also his best friend who made terrible jokes and was the nerdiest person in the world, who Dave could be completely normal around. Now that he was back in his comfort zone, Dave easily rolled his eyes and snorted.

“John, that’s terrible.” John looked at him, teasingly.

“You liked it.” Dave rolled his eyes again. John gave him a sideways glance. He put his hand out. “I haven’t seen inside your new glasses. Gimme.” Dave complied. John sat as he put them on, shivering at the buzz of technology on his face, and stretched his hand towards Dave to put them back. The vampire just sat next to him in response, and John spoke. “They’re weird. But here you go.” John gave it to Dave, who held them in his hands. They were quiet for all of three seconds until John began. “You know, we never got to catch up after everything went down. I know Vriska explained things, but I don’t know how much.” John looked down now, the swaggering confidence suddenly gone. “Are you mad at me?” He asked, quietly, and Dave sighed. The blonde vampire had been avoiding asking himself that question for a while now. He was obviously in love with John, but when he honestly considered John’s question, the response was clear.

“A little.” He said. Granted, he was a lot less angry since his talk with future Dave. “I wish you told me. And lied less.” He said, and John looked to his side, regretfully.

“I wanted you to be safe.” He said, and looked down. “I didn’t want to risk you going into a battle like today- of course, you did it anyway. But I thought I could do it all. You know- keep you, and everyone I… love… safe, save the world.” John said, and Dave looked to the side.

“But what about when you realized you couldn’t do both?” The question was met with silence for a few seconds, and when sound finally resumed, it was so quiet that John had to repeat himself.

“I said… I didn’t care what happened to me so long as you were okay. When Vriska and future Dave talked to me the first time, they offered routes that didn’t involve as much pain for me, but I refused them.” Dave’s eyes widened.

“Why?” He questioned, aghast, John responded faster this time.

“Higher chances of you and everyone else getting hurt. It wasn’t worth it.” Dave looked down, and John didn’t meet his face. John’s next words came out timid, and worried. “Is it bad?” John asked, looking down. “I mean, I know it upsets you, but is it… a bad thing?” John asked, and Dave was quiet for a bit. John was unsecure about asking, but knew he needed to talk to Dave about it anyway. Finally, Dave responded when he was done thinking.

“No. I’d probably do the same thing.” Dave responded, and John smiled, weakly.

“Yeah.” They thought about it for a while, in silence. Neither boy knew if it really was a good thing that both were willing to do so much for each other, but it proved that both of them cared. Eventually though, John realized it was too quiet, and didn’t want an uncomfortable silence with his best friend. He opened his mouth, waiting to see if Dave would do the same. When he didn’t, John spoke. “So, how’s your first summer break been?” John asked, and Dave shrugged. The response to this one was easy, and didn’t require a lot of emotional thought.

“Chill I guess. Karkat’s been Karkat, Jade’s been Jade. I’ve been hanging out with them the most, especially since Jade figured out she had powers. I talked to Rose a lot too. That’s pretty normal, right?” He asked, and John nodded.

“Pretty much. Well, I took like, 3,000 online classes.” John said, and Dave sat, prompting John to do the same.

“Like what?”

“Online PE, like four foreign languages, how-to basket weaving, music appreciation. Just random stuff.” He said, and Dave raised an eyebrow.

“Four foreign languages?”

“I don’t know any of them.” John said, and Dave rolled his eyes.

“Then what’s the point?” He asked, and John shrugged.

“I was bored.” Dave coughed.

“Nerd.” John raised an eyebrow.

“Adventure time remixes.” He countered, and Dave hit him.

“Shut up, Terezi chooses them.” John smirked.

“Sure.” Dave rolled his eyes, his ears darkening in color a little- not that it was noticeable, with the only real light source being the glowing trees and fireflies. John sighed. “Well, she has good taste in… lullabies.” He said, and looked to the side again. “I’m sorry for jumping in like that. In truth, I really wasn’t sure that mom could… or would save me. I really thought I was a goner there.” John said, and Dave sighed.

“I wish you hadn’t jumped in to save me.” He said, suddenly feeling cold. “Watching you die was horrible.” He meant it. John’s eyes softened.

“I know.” John responded, and looked at Dave. “But I don’t know if I could have done what you did if it was in reverse. I couldn’t let you go. At least, I couldn’t let you die before I told you I-” John cut himself off, and Dave looked at him.

“What?” John’s cheeks flushed a little.

“Uh- Until I told you I was sorry. And made up with you, in person.” John said, and Dave looked surprised, then smirked.

“Then consider us made up. I don’t think I could stay mad at a person that cares about me so much for too long anyway.” John smiled.

“Even if I turned all your apple juice into pee?” Dave’s face turned cold.

“No one that cares about me would do this.” John gave him a mischievous smile, and lifted his eyebrows suggestively.

“Well…” John’s tone was playful, but he saw Dave’s face and stopped.  Clearly, it wasn’t as much of a joking topic as it was before John used it as a part of his ‘last words’. “Uh, right. Yeah.” Dave looked down, and it prompted John to do the reverse, and keep his gaze skyward. Internally, John shivered. He hadn’t meant for things to be that awkward after he died. He was almost second guessing himself, in regards to what he wanted to admit to Dave. He’d never actually told him he loved him back, after all, and he wanted to confess, but things were weird. Dave spoke then, ready to try and save their conversation from awkward silence.

“So, uh, any idea what the deal is with your mom and… you know, Roxy and your Dad?” John shrugged at that, from his sitting position next to Dave.

“Actually, she told me she’s going to step out of that. Apparently, she married my dad when they were like, only a little older than us, and it was more out of duty than anything. I think Dad and Roxy are going to keep dating. But mom’s still going to be busy fixing Crockercorp. You know, she owns it now.” He said, and Dave raised his eyebrows.

“No shit? That’s ironic. Well, good for her.” Dave said, and John nodded.

“Yeah. She’s only a few years older than us- I don’t think she really feels that close to my dad anymore. They’re more like friends.” John commented, and gave Dave a look. “Oh! And she liked talking to your brother. I think they’re friends now.” He added, and Dave smirked.

“That has to be a lie.” He said, and John hit him playfully.

“Hey, Bro is cool.” John responded, and Dave rolled his eyes.

“You know, he still likes my little pony. Can he really be that cool?” John laughed a little at that.

“Jade seems to think so.” He responded, and Dave rolled his eyes.

“Gob, don’t remind me- Jade and Bro’s weird cartoon furry bullshit bonding is not what I came here for at twelve in the morning.” He said, and he gave John a sideways glance. “Actually- yeah. Did you have any other plans for tonight? You look pretty dressed up for just catching up.” He observed, and John swallowed, then realized that this was an opportunity.

“Yeah, I dressed up on, um, purpose.” John took a breath, and made eye contact with his best friend. “I wanted to tell you something, I guess.” Dave’s eyes widened, and he looked at his best friend. A million thoughts ran through Dave’s head, and all of them showed in his face. John was nervous, but at the same time, he appeared eager. Dave made a noise, then coughed.

“Oh, uh, don’t let me stop you.” He responded, and John looked down habitually, in embarrassment.

“Cool. I’ll just- yeah. Don’t freak out or anything, okay?” Dave gave him a look, because Striders don’t freak out, but John blushed. “Right. I’ll just say it then. Dave, I really- I have a huge crush on you, and I’m probably completely in love with you.” John admitted, and Dave’s eyes widened. John avoided his face. “This!” His voice went high, and John struggled to correct it. “Sorry. This wasn’t just, you know, because of what you said when I was dying. I’ve been wondering for weeks now, and I thought a lot and talked to Rose and Karkat a lot- like, a lot a lot. And I guess I realized that I’m like in love with you, and I probably have been for like a year. At first, I thought it was just normal because you’re the first time I’ve really had a best friend in person. But I started to realize how much you mean to me and how I feel about everything you do, and how being with you feels like I’m at home but better, which is like, more than a friend thing so-” John took a breath, and forced himself to make eye contact with Dave, and slow his rushed words. “So, yeah. I like you more than in a friend way and I hope you accept my feelings.” He finished, and blushed, causing Dave to grin.

“John.” John leaned towards him in anticipation. “I love you too.” John sighed in relief, and Dave smirked at the action. “Did you think I wouldn’t love you back?” He asked, and John shrugged awkwardly.

“I know earlier today- er, yesterday was pretty intense, and I just… thought I should tell you without one of us threatening to become dust, you know?” He asked, and Dave rolled his eyes.

“Yeah, I know. So, you said it’s been a few weeks, but we haven’t seen each other in person. What made you realize?” He asked, and John looked embarrassed.

“Well, I think I started- you know, ‘falling for you’ when we went to that park after I was kidnapped by Roxy and everything. Or maybe on my birthday- we had a lot of good moments. But I guess I started questioning if I actually liked you like that or not the last time I really saw you- on the porch. After we came here the first time, I wasn’t sure if you were joking about kissing me, and Karkat and Rose kind of made me come to terms with stuff, and I finally decided that I loved you when Lord English was torturing me.” John smirked at the memory of the terror on the cherub’s face, then looked at him curiously. “Were you joking?” He asked, and elaborated. “When you asked to kiss me better.” He added, and Dave smirked.

“Not at all- I was totally going for it.” He responded too easily, and John blushed.

“So if Roxy hadn’t walked in-” John envisioned it. They would have kissed, because he would have said yes. “Oh my gosh.” Dave laughed, and looked at John, who sent him a challenging look back. “Hey, Mr. ‘‘I can laugh at your obliviousness’’, when did you figure out you liked me, huh?” Dave leaned back casually, and shared a look with John.

“Ironically, I think I started falling for you at that park, right after you got back from being kidnapped and you needed to take a break. I questioned when I found out you and Davebot were together, and as for actually realizing that I was into you, Davebot just told me that I was in love with you the last morning we saw him.” He said it carefully, and John looked at him in surprise.

“You were questioning for over a month! Are you really saying that during all that time I dated Davebot you were wondering?” John asked, and it was rhetorical. “And you couldn’t have told me?” He added, and Dave shrugged.

“You didn’t even like me back then.” John flushed.

“Well I probably would have! That was like, six months between then and now, asshole!” John fired back, and Dave rested his hand atop John’s.

“Your asshole.” He said, and John’s cheeks maintained a warm glow when he interlocked fingers with Dave.

“I love you.” Dave rested his head against the bark of the tree, and smiled. He responded instantly.

“I know.”

Both of their gazes turned away from each other, and to the sky. The fireflies’ light reflected off their eyes, and both boys released matching sighs as they wondered how they could have gotten so lucky to have the other there. John squeezed Dave’s hand, elicting a soft, comforted smile from Dave.  Precisely none of the previous day’s events, or concerns about parents, or questions about what they were or what John and Dave were destined to become went through either boy’s heads, and slowly, but surely, two pairs of eyes fell closed. As John’s lips fell open, he released a soft, but not disruptive snore, and it triggered Dave’s finger to move, and interlock more with his own. Neither boy needed to feel pressure, even surrounded by strange plants and an unfamiliar landscape, nor worry about what their guardians might ask the next morning and the repercussions of a new, undefined relationship. None of that mattered now. After months of confusion, and plans, and change, things were finally okay.  Why? John and Dave were together- both boys were finally home.

__________--

AN: Note: a thousand miles came on while I was writing this Author’s note.

So, there’s the end! No, they didn’t kiss. I felt like it flowed better without it, and I think their reactions (joking, teasing) were a little more sincere this way. I wrote and rewrote and rewrote that last scene, gosh. Thank you for reading and supporting this for so long, and thank you to Saltymastermemester once again for letting me rewrite and continue her idea. Honestly, when I started, I had no idea that this would be this long- but here we are- the end. Thanks for continued support to all of you, and I love you all.

In other news, expect an epilogue uh… soon. It’s just tying up some loose ends, and helping me complete the story a little more.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> lol wow please comment if you actually read this far i need to know whos insane  
> no but for real thanks for reading my mistake i hope you got some sort of enjoyment out of this


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